Thespirituousandfermentedliquorsbeingthusdisposedof，the
　　zealofthereformersnextinducedthemtoreplenishthefirewithall
　　theboxesofteaandbagsofcoffeeintheworld。Andnowcamethe
　　plantersofVirginia，bringingtheircropsoftobacco。These，being
　　castupontheheapofinutility，aggregatedittothesizeofa
　　mountain，andincensedtheatmospherewithsuchpotentfragrance
　　thatmethoughtweshouldneverdrawpurebreathagain。Thepresent
　　sacrificeseemedtostartletheloversoftheweedmorethanany
　　thattheyhadhithertowitnessed。
　　“Well，they’veputmypipeout。”saidanoldgentleman，flingingit
　　intotheflamesinapet。“Whatisthisworldcomingto？Everything
　　richandracy-allthespiceoflife-istobecondemnedasuseless。
　　Nowthattheyhavekindledthebonfire，ifthesenonsensicalreformers
　　wouldflingthemselvesintoit，allwouldbewellenough！”
　　“Bepatient。”respondedastaunchconservative；“itwillcometo
　　thatintheend。Theywillfirstflingusin，andfinallythemselves。”
　　Fromthegeneralandsystematicmeasuresofreform，Inowturnedto
　　considertheindividualcontributionstothismemorablebonfire。In
　　manyinstancesthesewereofaveryamusingcharacter。Onepoorfellow
　　threwinhisemptypurse，andanotherabundleofcounterfeitor
　　insolvablebanknotes。Fashionableladiesthrewintheirlastseason’s
　　bonnets，togetherwithheapsofribbons，yellowlace，andmuchother
　　half-wornmilliner’sware；allofwhichprovedevenmoreevanescentin
　　thefirethanithadbeeninthefashion。Amultitudeofloversof
　　bothsexes-discardedmaidsorbachelors，andcouplesmutuallyweary
　　ofoneanother-tossedinbundlesofperfumedlettersandenamored
　　sonnets。Ahackpolitician，beingdeprivedofbreadbythelossof
　　office，threwinhisteeth，whichhappenedtobefalseones。The
　　Rev。SydneySmith-havingvoyagedacrosstheAtlanticforthatsole
　　purpose-cameuptothebonfirewithabittergrin，andthrewin
　　certainrepudiatedbonds，fortifiedthoughtheywerewiththebroad
　　sealofasovereignstate。Alittleboyoffiveyearsold，inthe
　　prematuremanlinessofthepresentepoch，threwinhisplaythings；a
　　collegegraduate，hisdiploma；anapothecary，ruinedbythespread
　　ofhomoeopathy，hiswholestockofdrugsandmedicines；aphysician，
　　hislibrary；aparson，hisoldsermons；andafinegentlemanofthe
　　oldschool，hiscodeofmanners，whichhehadformerlywrittendown
　　forthebenefitofthenextgeneration。Awidow，resolvingonasecond
　　marriage，slilythrewinherdeadhusband’sminiature。Ayoungman，
　　jiltedbyhismistress，wouldwillinglyhaveflunghisowndesperate
　　heartintotheflames，butcouldfindnomeanstowrenchitoutofhis
　　bosom。AnAmericanauthor，whoseworkswereneglectedbythepublic，
　　threwhispenandpaperintothebonfire，andbetookhimselftosome
　　lessdiscouragingoccupation。Itsomewhatstartledmetooverheara
　　numberofladies，highlyrespectableinappearance，proposingtofling
　　theirgownsandpetticoatsintotheflames，andassumethegarb，
　　togetherwiththemanners，duties，offices，andresponsibilities，of
　　theoppositesex。
　　Whatfavorwasaccordedtothisscheme，Iamunabletosay；my
　　attentionbeingsuddenlydrawntoapoor，deceived，andhalf-delirious
　　girl，who，exclaimingthatshewasthemostworthlessthingaliveor
　　dead，attemptedtocastherselfintothefire，amidallthatwrecked
　　andbrokentrumperyoftheworld。Agoodman，however，rantoher
　　rescue。
　　“Patience，mypoorgirl！”saidhe，ashedrewherbackfromthe
　　fierceembraceofthedestroyingangel。“Bepatient，andabide
　　Heaven’swill。Solongasyoupossessalivingsoul，allmaybe
　　restoredtoitsfirstfreshness。Thesethingsofmatter，andcreations
　　ofhumanfantasy，arefitfornothingbuttobeburnt，whenonce
　　theyhavehadtheirday。Butyourdayiseternity！”
　　“Yes。”saidthewretchedgirl，whosefrenzyseemednowtohavesunk
　　downintodeepdespondency；“yes，andthesunshineisblottedoutof
　　it！”
　　Itwasnowrumoredamongthespectatorsthatalltheweaponsand
　　munitionsofwarweretobethrownintothebonfire，withthe
　　exceptionoftheworld’sstockofgunpowder，which，asthesafestmode
　　ofdisposingofit，hadalreadybeendrownedinthesea。This
　　intelligenceseemedtoawakengreatdiversityofopinion。The
　　hopefulphilanthropistesteemeditatokenthatthemillenniumwas
　　alreadycome；whilepersonsofanotherstamp，inwhoseviewmankind
　　wasabreedofbull-dogs，prophesiedthatalltheoldstoutness，
　　fervor，nobleness，generosity，andmagnanimityoftheracewould
　　disappear；thesequalities，astheyaffirmed，requiringbloodfor
　　theirnourishment。Theycomfortedthemselves，however，inthebelief
　　thattheproposedabolitionofwarwasimpracticable，foranylength
　　oftimetogether。
　　Bethatasitmight，numberlessgreatguns，whosethunderhad
　　longbeenthevoiceofbattle-theartilleryoftheArmada，the
　　battering-trainsofMarlborough，andtheadversecannonofNapoleon
　　andWellington-weretrundledintothemidstofthefire。Bythe
　　continualadditionofdrycombustibles，ithadnowwaxedsointense
　　thatneitherbrassnorironcouldwithstandit。Itwaswonderfulto
　　beholdhowtheseterribleinstrumentsofslaughtermeltedawaylike
　　playthingsofwax。Thenthearmiesoftheearthwheeledaroundthe
　　mightyfurnace，withtheirmilitarymusicplayingtriumphant
　　marches，andflungintheirmusketsandswords。The
　　standard-bearers，likewise，castonelookupwardattheirbanners，all
　　tatteredwithshot-holes，andinscribedwiththenamesofvictorious
　　fields，and，givingthemalastflourishonthebreeze，theylowered
　　themintotheflame，whichsnatchedthemupwardinitsrushtowardthe
　　clouds。Thisceremonybeingover，theworldwasleftwithouta
　　singleweapononinitshands，except，possibly，afewoldking’sarms
　　andrustyswords，andothertrophiesoftheRevolution，insomeofour
　　statearmories。Andnowthedrumswerebeatenandthetrumpets
　　brayedalltogether，asapreludetotheproclamationofuniversaland
　　eternalpeace，andtheannouncementthatglorywasnolongertobewon
　　byblood；butthatitwouldhenceforthbethecontentionofthe
　　humanracetoworkoutthegreatestmutualgood，andthatbeneficence，
　　inthefutureannalsoftheearth，wouldclaimthepraiseofvalor。
　　Theblessedtidingswereaccordinglypromulgated，andcaused
　　infiniterejoicingsamongthosewhohadstoodaghastatthehorrorand
　　absurdityofwar。
　　ButIsawagrimsmilepassoverthesearedvisageofastatelyold
　　commander-byhiswar-wornfigureandrichmilitarydress，hemight
　　havebeenoneofNapoleon’sfamousmarshals-who，withtherestofthe
　　world’ssoldiery，hadjustflungawaytheswordthathadbeenfamiliar
　　tohisrighthandforhalfacentury。
　　“Aye，aye！”grumbledhe。“Letthemproclaimwhattheyplease；
　　but，intheend，weshallfindthatallthisfooleryhasonlymade
　　moreworkforthearmorersandcannon-founders。”
　　“Why，sir。”exclaimedI，inastonishment，“doyouimaginethat
　　thehumanracewilleversofarreturnonthestepsofitspast
　　madnessastoweldanothersword，orcastanothercannon？”
　　“Therewillbenoneed。”observed，withasneer，onewhoneither
　　feltbenevolence，norhadfaithinit。“WhenCainwishedtoslayhis
　　brother，hewasatnolossforaweapon。”
　　“Weshallsee。”repliedtheveterancommander。“IfIammistaken，
　　somuchthebetter；butinmyopinion-withoutpretendingto
　　philosophizeaboutthematter-thenecessityofwarliesfardeeper
　　thanthesehonestgentlemensuppose。What！Isthereafieldforall
　　thepettydisputesofindividuals，andshalltherebenogreat
　　law-courtforthesettlementofnationaldifficulties？The
　　battle-fieldistheonlycourtwheresuchsuitscanbetried！”
　　“Youforget，general。”rejoinedI，“that，inthisadvancedstageof
　　civilization，ReasonandPhilanthropycombinedwillconstitutejust
　　suchatribunalasisrequisite。”
　　“Ah，Ihadforgottenthat，indeed！”saidtheoldwarrior，ashe
　　limpedaway。
　　Thefirewasnowtobereplenishedwithmaterialsthathadhitherto
　　beenconsideredofevengreaterimportancetothewell-beingof
　　society，thanthewarlikemunitionswhichwehadalreadyseen
　　consumed。Abodyofreformershadtravelledallovertheearth，in
　　questofthemachinerybywhichthedifferentnationswere
　　accustomedtoinflictthepunishmentofdeath。Ashudderpassed
　　throughthemultitude，astheseghastlyemblemsweredragged
　　forward。Eventheflamesseemedatfirsttoshrinkaway，displaying
　　theshapeandmurderouscontrivanceofeachinafullblazeof
　　light，which，ofitself，wassufficienttoconvincemankindofthe
　　longanddeadlyerrorofhumanlaw。Thoseoldimplementsofcruelty-
　　thosehorriblemonstersofmechanism-thoseinventionswhichitseemed
　　todemandsomethingworsethanman’snaturalhearttocontrive，and
　　whichhadlurkedintheduskynooksofancientprisons，thesubjectof
　　terror-strickenlegend-werenowbroughtforthtoview。Headsmen’s
　　axes，withtherustofnobleandroyalblooduponthem，andavast
　　collectionofhaltersthathadchokedthebreathofplebeian
　　victims，werethrownintogether。Ashoutgreetedthearrivalofthe
　　guillotine，whichwasthrustforwardonthesamewheelsthathadborne
　　itfromonetoanotheroftheblood-stainedstreetsofParis。But
　　theloudestroarofapplausewentup，tellingthedistantskyofthe
　　triumphoftheearth’sredemption，whenthegallowsmadeits
　　appearance。Anill-lookingfellow，however，rushedforward，and，
　　puttinghimselfinthepathofthereformers，bellowedhoarsely，and
　　foughtwithbrutefurytostaytheirprogress。
　　Itwaslittlematterofsurprise，perhaps，thattheexecutioner
　　shouldthusdohisbesttovindicateandupholdthemachinerybywhich
　　hehimselfhadhislivelihood，andworthierindividualstheirdeath。
　　Butitdeservedspecialnote，thatmenofafardifferentsphere-even
　　ofthatclassinwhoseguardianshiptheworldisapttotrustits
　　benevolence-werefoundtotakethehangman’sviewofthequestion。
　　“Stay，mybrethren！”criedoneofthem。“Youaremisledbya
　　falsephilanthropy！youknownotwhatyoudo。Thegallowsisa
　　Heaven-ordainedinstrument！Bearitback，then，reverently，andsetit
　　upinitsoldplace；elsetheworldwillfalltospeedyruinand
　　desolation！”
　　“Onward，onward！”shoutedaleaderinthereform。“Intothe
　　flameswiththeaccursedinstrumentofman’sbloodypolicy。Howcan
　　humanlawinculcatebenevolenceandlove，whileitpersistsinsetting
　　upthegallowsasitschiefsymbol！Oneheavemore，goodfriends，
　　andtheworldwillberedeemedfromitsgreatesterror！”
　　Athousandhands，that，nevertheless，loathedthetouch，nowlent
　　theirassistance，andthrusttheominousburthenfar，far，intothe
　　centreoftheragingfurnace。Thereitsfatalandabhorredimagewas
　　beheld，firstblack，thenaredcoal，thenashes。
　　“Thatwaswelldone！”exclaimedI。
　　“Yes，itwaswelldone。”replied-butwithlessenthusiasmthanI
　　expected-thethoughtfulobserverwhowasstillatmyside；“well
　　done，iftheworldbegoodenoughforthemeasure。Death，however，
　　isanideathatcannoteasilybedispensedwith，inanycondition
　　betweentheprimalinnocenceandthatotherpurityandperfection，
　　which，perchance，wearedestinedtoattainaftertravellingroundthe
　　fullcircle。But，atallevents，itiswellthattheexperimentshould
　　nowbetried。”
　　“Toocold！toocold！”impatientlyexclaimedtheyoungandardent
　　leaderinthistriumph。“Letthehearthaveitsvoicehere，aswellas
　　theintellect。Andasforripeness-andasforprogress-letmankind
　　alwaysdothehighest，kindest，noblestthingthat，atanygiven
　　period，ithasattainedtheperceptionof；andsurelythatthing
　　cannotbewrong，norwronglytimed。”