`NowMrs。Huntingdon,’saidHargrave,ashearrangedthemenontheboard,speakingdistinctly,andwithapeculiaremphasisasifhehadadoublemeaningtoallhiswords,`youareagoodplayer,——butIamabetter:weshallhavealonggame,andyouwillgivemesometrouble;butIcanbeaspatientasyou,and,intheend,Ishallcertainlywin。’HefixedhiseyesuponmewithaglanceIdidnotlike——keen,crafty,bold,andalmostimpudent;alreadyhalftriumphantinhisanticipatedsuccess。
`Ihopenot,Mr。Hargrave!’returnedI,withavehemencethatmusthavestartledMilicentatleast;butheonlysmiledandmurmured,——
`Timewillshew。’
Wesettowork;he,sufficientlyinterestedinthegame,butcalmandfearlessintheconsciousnessofsuperiorskill;I,intenselyeagertodisappointhisexpectations,forIconsideredthisthetypeofamoreseriouscontestsIimaginedhedid——andIfeltanalmostsuperstitiousdreadofbeingbeaten:atallevents,Icouldillendurethatpresentsuccessshouldaddonetittletohisconsciouspowerhisinsolentself-confidence,Ioughttosay,orencourage,foramoment,hisdreamoffutureconquest。
Hisplaywascautiousanddeep,butIstruggledhardagainsthim。Forsometimethecombatwasdoubtful;atlength,tomyjoy,thevictoryseemedincliningtomyside:Ihadtakenseveralofhisbestpieces,andmanifestlybaffledhisprojects。Heputhishandtohisbrowandpaused,inevidentperplexity。Irejoicedinmyadvantage,butdarednotgloryinityet。
Atlength,heliftedhishead,and,quietlymakinghismove,lookedatmeandsaid,calmly,——
`Nowyouthinkyouwillwin,don’tyou。’
`Ihopeso,’repliedI,takinghispawn,thathehadpushedintothewayofmybishopwithsocarelessanairthatIthoughtitwasanoversight,butwasnotgenerousenough,underthecircumstances,todirecthisattentiontoit,andtooheedless,atthemoment,toforeseetheafterconsequencesofmymove。
`Itisthosebishopsthattroubleme,’saidhe;`buttheboldknightcanoverleapthereverendgentleman,’takingmylastbishopwithhisknight;——’andnow,thosesacredpersonsonceremoved,Ishallcarryallbeforeme。
`OhWalter,howyoutalk!’criedMilicent——’Shehasfarmorepiecesthanyoustill。’
`Iintendtogiveyousometroubleyet,’saidI;`andperhaps,sir,youwillfindyourselfcheckmatedbeforeyouareaware。Looktoyourqueen。’
Thecombatdeepened。Thegamewasalongone,andIdidgivehimsometrouble:buthewasabetterplayerthanI。
`Whatkeengamestersyouare!’saidMr。Hattersley,whohadnowentered,andbeenwatchingusforsometime。`Why,Mrs。Huntingdon,yourhandtremblesasifyouhadstakedyouralluponit!andWalter——youdog——youlookasdeepandcoolasifyouwerecertainofsuccess,——andaskeenandcruelasifyouwoulddrainherheart’sblood!ButifIwereyou,Iwouldn’tbeather,forveryfear:she’llhateyouifyoudo——hewill,byHeaven!——I
seeitinhereye。’
`Holdyourtongue,willyou?’saidI——histalkdistractedme,forIwasdriventoextremities。AfewmoremovesandIwasinextricablyentangledinthesnareofmyantagonist。
`Check,’——criedhe:Isoughtinagonysomemeansofescape——`mate!’
headded,quietlybutwithevidentdelight。Hehadsuspendedtheutteranceofthatlastfatalsyllablethebettertoenjoymydismay。Iwasfoolishlydisconcertedbytheevent。Hattersleylaughed;Milicentwastroubledtoseemesodisturbed。Hargraveplacedhishandonminethatrestedonthetable,andsqueezingitwithafirmbutgentlepressure,murmured`Beaten——beaten!’
andgazedintomyfacewithalookwhereexultationwasblendedwithanexpressionofardourandtendernessyetmoreinsulting。
`No,never,Mr。Hargrave!’exclaimedI,quicklywithdrawingmyhand。
`Doyoudeny?’repliedhe,smilinglypointingtotheboard。
`No,no,’Ianswered,recollectinghowstrangemyconductmustappear;`youhavebeatenmeinthatgame。
`Willyoutryanother,then?’
`No。’
`Youacknowledgemysuperiority?’
`Yes——asachess-player。’
Irosetoresumemywork。
`WhereisAnnabella?’saidHargrave,gravely,afterglancingroundtheroom。
`GoneoutwithLordLowborough,’answeredI,forhelookedatmeforareply。
`Andnotyetreturned!’hesaidseriously。
`Isupposenot。’
`WhereisHuntingdon?’lookingroundagain。
`GoneoutwithGrimsby——asyouknow,’saidHattersleysuppressingalaugh,whichbrokeforthasheconcludedthesentence。
Whydidhelaugh?WhydidHargraveconnectthemthustogether?
Wasittrue,then?——Andwasthisthedreadfulsecrethehadwishedtorevealtome?Imustknow——andthatquickly。IinstantlyroseandlefttheroomtogoinsearchofRachel,anddemandanexplanationofherwords;butMr。Hargravefollowedmeintotheante-room,andbeforeIcouldopenitsouterdoor,gentlylaidhishanduponthelock。
`MayItellyousomething,Mrs。Huntingdon?’saidhe,inasubduedtone,withserious,downcasteyes。
`Ifitbeanythingworthhearing,’repliedI,strugglingtobecomposed,forItrembledineverylimb。
Hequietlypushedachairtowardsme。Imerelyleantmyhanduponit,andbidhimgoon。
`Donotbealarmed,’saidhe:`whatIwishtosayisnothinginitself,andIwillleaveyoutodrawyourowninferencesfromit。YousaythatAnnabellaisnotyetreturned?’
`Yes,yes——goon!’saidI,impatiently,forIfearedmyforcedcalmnesswouldleavemebeforetheendofhisdisclosure,whateveritmightbe。
`Andyouhear,’continuedhe,`thatHuntingdonisgoneoutwithGrimsby?’
`Well?’
`Iheardthelattersaytoyourhusband——orthemanwhocallshimselfso——’
`Goon,sir!’
Hebowedsubmissively,andcontinued,`Iheardhimsay,——“Ishallmanageit,you’llsee!They’regonedownbythewater;Ishallmeetthemthere,andtellhimIwantabitoftalkwithhimaboutsomethingsthatweneedn’ttroubletheladywith;andshe’llsayshecanbewalkingbacktothehouse;andthenIshallapologize,youknow,andallthat,andtipherawinktotakethewayoftheshrubbery。I’llkeephimtalkingthere,aboutthosemattersImentioned,andanythingelseIcanthinkof,aslongasIcan,andthenbringhimroundtheotherway,stoppingtolookatthetrees,thefields,andanythingelseIcanfindtodiscourseof。”’Mr。
Hargravepaused,andlookedatme。
Withoutawordofcommentorfurtherquestioning,Irose,anddartedfromtheroomandoutofthehouse。Thetormentofsuspensewasnottobeendured:Iwouldnotsuspectmyhusbandfalsely,onthisman’saccusation,andIwouldnottrusthimunworthily——Imustknowthetruthatonce。Iflewtotheshrubbery。ScarcelyhadIreachedit,whenasoundofvoicesarrestedmybreathlessspeed。
`Wehavelingeredtoolong;hewillbeback,’saidLadyLowborough’svoice。
`Surelynot,dearest!’washisreply,`butyoucanrunacrossthelawn,andgetinasquietlyasyoucan:I’llfollowinawhile。’
Mykneestrembledunderme;mybrainswamround:Iwasreadytofaint。Shemustnotseemethus。Ishrunkamongthebushes,andleantagainstthetrunkofatreetoletherpass。
`Ah,Huntingdon!’saidshereproachfully,pausingwhereIhadstoodwithhimthenightbefore——`itwashereyoukissedthatwoman!’
Shelookedbackintotheleafyshade。Advancingthence,heanswered,withacarelesslaugh——
`Well,dearest,Icouldn’thelpit。YouknowImustkeepstraightwithheraslongasIcan。Haven’tIseenyoukissyourdoltofahusband,scoresoftimes?——anddoIevercomplain?’
`Buttellme,don’tyouloveherstillslittle?’saidsheplacingherhandonhisarmandlookingearnestlyinhisface——forIcouldseethemplainly,themoonshiningfulluponthemfrombetweenthebranchesofthetreethatshelteredme。
`Notonebit,byallthat’ssacred!’hereplied,kissingherglowingcheek。
`GoodHeavens,Imustbegone!’criedshe,suddenlybreakingfromhim,andawaysheflew。
Therehestoodbeforeme;butIhadnotstrengthtoconfronthimnow;mytonguecleavedtotheroofofmymouth,*Iwaswellnighsinkingtotheearth,andIalmostwonderedhedidnothearthebeatingofmyheartabovethelowsighingofthewind,andthefitfulrustleofthefallingleaves。Mysensesseemedtofailme,butstillIsawhisshadowyformpassbeforeme,andthroughtherushingsoundinmyears,Idistinctlyheardhimsay,ashestoodlookingupthelawn——
`Theregoesthefool!RunAnnabella,run!There——inwithyou!
Ah,hedidn’tsee!That’srightGrimsby,keephimback!’Andevenhislowlaughreachedmeashewalkedaway。
`Godhelpmenow!’Imurmured,sinkingonmykneesamongthedampweedsandbrushwoodthatsurroundedme,andlookingupatthemoonlitsky,throughthescantfoliageabove。Itseemedalldimandquiveringnowtomydarkenedsight。Myburning,burstingheartstrovetopourforthitsagonytoGod,butcouldnotframeitsanguishintoprayer;untilagustofwindsweptoverme,which,whileitscatteredthedeadleaves,likeblightedhopes,around,cooledmyforehead,andseemedalittletorevivemysinkingframe。Then,whileIliftedupmysoulinspeechless,earnestsupplication,someheavenlyinfluenceseemedtostrengthenmewithin:*
Ibreathedmorefreely;myvisioncleared;Isawdistinctlythepuremoonshiningon,andthelightcloudsskimmingtheclear,darksky;andthen,Isawtheeternalstarstwinklingdownuponme;IknewtheirGodwasmine,andHewasstrongtosaveandswifttohear。`Iwillneverleavethee,norforsakethee,’seemedwhisperedfromabovetheirmyriadorbs。No,no;
IfeltHewouldnotleavemecomfortless:*inspiteofearthandhellI
shouldhavestrengthforallmytrials,andwinagloriousrestatlast!
Refreshed,invigoratedifnotcomposed,Iroseandreturnedtothehouse。Muchofmynewbornstrengthandcourageforsookme,Iconfess,asIenteredit,andshutoutthefreshwindandtheglorioussky:everythingIsawandheardseemedtosickenmyheart——thehall,thelamp,thestaircase,thedoorsofthedifferentapartments,thesocialsoundoftalkandlaughterfromthedrawing-room。HowcouldIbearmyfuturelife?Inthishouse,amongthosepeople——oh,howcouldIenduretolive!Johnjustthenenteredthehall,andseeingme,toldmehehadbeensentinsearchofme,addingthathehadtakeninthetea,andmasterwishedtoknowifIwerecoming。
`AskMrs。Hattersleytobesokindastomakethetea,John,’
saidI。`SayIamnotwellto-night,andwishtobeexcused。’
Iretiredintothelarge,emptydining-room,whereallwassilenceanddarkness,butforthesoftsighingofthewindwithout,andthefaintgleamofmoonlightthatpiercedtheblindsandcurtains;andthereIwalkedrapidlyupanddown,thinkingmybitterthoughtsalone。Howdifferentwasthisfromtheeveningofyesterday!Thatitseems,wasthelastexpiringflashofmylife’shappiness。Poor,blindedfoolthatIwas,tobesohappy!IcouldnowseethereasonofArthur’sstrangereceptionofmeintheshrubbery:theburstofkindnesswasforhisparamour,thestartofhorrorforhiswife。Now,too,IcouldbetterunderstandtheconversationbetweenHattersleyandGrimsby:itwasdoubtlessofhisloveforhertheyspoke,notforme。
Iheardthedrawing-roomdooropen:alightquickstepcameoutoftheante-room,crossedthehall,andascendedthestairs。ItwasMilicent,poorMilicent,gonetoseehowIwas——nooneelsecaredforme;butshestillwaskind。Ihadshednotearsbefore,butnowtheycame——fastandfree。Thusshedidmegood,withoutapproachingme。Disappointedinhersearch,Iheardhercomedown——moreslowlythanshehadascended。Wouldshecomeinthere,andfindmeout?No;sheturnedintheoppositedirectionandre-enteredthedrawing-room。Iwasglad,forIknewnothowtomeether,orwhattosay。Iwantednoconfidantinmydistress。Ideservednone——andIwantednone。Ihadtakentheburdenuponmyself:letmebearitalone。
Astheusualhourofretirementapproached,Idriedmyeyes,andtriedtoclearmyvoiceandcalmmymind。ImustseeArthurto-night,andspeaktohim;butIwoulddoitcalmly:thereshouldbenoscene——nothingtocomplainortoboastoftohiscompanions——nothingtolaughatwithhisladylove。Whenthecompanywereretiringtotheirchambers,Igentlyopenedthedoor,andjustashepassed,Ibeckonedhimin。
`What’stodowithyou,Helen?’saidhe。`Whycouldn’tyoucometomaketeaforus?andwhatthedeuceareyouherefor,inthedark?Whatailsyou,youngwoman——youlooklikeaghost?’hecontinued,surveyingmebythelightofhiscandle。