`Notlately,’Ireplied。
`Ithoughtnot,’hemuttered,asiftohimself,lookingthoughtfullyontheground。
`AreyounotlatelyreturnedfromLondon?’Iasked。
`Onlyyesterday。’
`Anddidyouseehimthere?’
`Washewell?’
`Yes——thatis,’saidhe,withincreasinghesitationandanappearanceofsuppressedindignation,`hewasaswellas——ashedeservedtobe,butundercircumstancesIshouldhavedeemedincredibleforamansofavouredasheis。’Heherelookedupandpointedthesentencewithaseriousbowtome,Isupposemyfacewascrimson。
`Pardonme,MrsHuntingdon,’hecontinued,`butIcannotsuppressmyindignationwhenIbeholdsuchinfatuatedblindnessandperversionoftaste;——but,perhapsyouarenotaware——`’Hepaused,`Iamawareofnothing,sir——exceptthathedelayshiscominglongerthanIexpected;andifatpresent,heprefersthesocietyofhisfriendstothatofhiswife,andthedissipationsofthetowntothequietofcountrylife,IsupposeIhavethosefriendstothankforit。Theirtastesandoccupationsaresimilartohis,andIdon’tseewhyhisconductshouldawakeneithertheirindignationorsurprise。’
`Youwrongmecruelly,’answeredhe:`IhavesharedbutlittleofMrHuntingdon’ssociety,forthelastfewweeks;andasforhistastesandoccupations,theyarequitebeyondme——lonelywandererasIam。WhereIhavebutsippedandtasted,hedrainsthecuptothedregs;andifeverforamomentIhavesoughttodrownthevoiceofreflectioninmadnessandfolly,orifIhavewastedtoomuchofmytimeandtalentsamongrecklessanddissipatedcompanions,GodknowsIwouldgladlyrenouncetheentirelyandforever,ifIhadbuthalftheblessingsthatmansothanklesslycastsbehindhisback——buthalftheinducementstovirtueanddomestic,orderlyhabitsthathedespises——butsuchahome,andsuchapartnertoshareit!——Itisinfamous!’hemuttered,betweenhisteeth。`Anddon’tthink,MrsHuntingdon,’headded,aloud,`thatIcouldbeguiltyofincitinghimtopersevereinhispresentpursuits:onthecontrary,Ihaveremonstratedwithhimagainandagain;Ihavefrequentlyexpressedmysurpriseathisconductandremindedhimofhisdutiesandhisprivileges——buttonopurpose;
heonly——`’
`Enough,MrHargrave;yououghttobeawarethatwhatevermyhusband’sfaultsmaybe,itcanonlyaggravatetheevilformetohearthemfromastranger’slips。’
`AmIthenastranger?’saidhe,inasorrowfultone。`I
amyournearestneighbour,yourson’sgodfather,andyourhusband’sfriend:
mayInotbeyour’salso?’
`Intimateacquaintancemustprecederealfriendship:Iknowbutlittleofyou,MrHargrave,exceptfromreport。’
`HaveyouthenforgottenthesixorsevenweeksIspentunderyourrooflastautumn?Ihavenotforgottenthem。AndIknowenoughofyou,MrsHuntingdon,tothinkthatyourhusbandisthemostenviablemanintheworld,andIshouldbethenextifyouwoulddeemmeworthyofyourfriendship。’
`Ifyouknewmoreofme,youwouldnotthinkit-orifyoudid,youwouldnotsayit,andexpectmetobeflatteredbythecompliment。’
IsteppedbackwardasIspoke。HesawthatIwishedtheconversationtoend;andimmediatelytakingthehint,hegravelybowed,wishedmegoodevening,andturnedhishorsetowardstheroad。Heappearedgrievedandhurtatmyunkindreceptionofhissympathizingovertures。IwasnotsurethatIhaddonerightinspeakingsoharshlytohim;butatthetime,I
hadfeltirritated——almostinsulted——byhisconduct;itseemedasifhewasprigupontheabsenceandneglectofmyhusband,andinsinuatingevenmorethanthetruthagainsthim。
Rachelhadmovedon,duringourconversation,tosomeyards’distance,Herodeuptoher,andaskedtoseethechild,Hetookitcarefullyintohisarms,lookeduponitwithanalmostpaternalsmile,andIheardhimsay,asIapproached——
`Andthis,too,hehasforsaken!’
Hethentenderlykissedit,andrestoredittothegratifiednurse。
`Areyoufondofchildren,MrHargrave?’saidI,alittlesoftenedtowardshim。
`Notingeneral,’hereplied;`butthatissuchasweetchild——andsolikeitsmother,’headded,inalowertone。
`Youaremistakenthere;itisitsfatheritresembles。’
`AmInotright,nurse?’saidhe,appealingtoRachel。
`Ithink,sir,there’sabitofboth,’shereplied,Hedeparted;andRachelpronouncedhimaverynicegentleman。
Ihadstillmydoubtsonthesubject。
WhenImethimonthemorrow,underhisownroof,hedidnotoffendmewithanymoreofhisvirtuousindignationagainstArthurorunwelcomesympathyforme;and,indeed,whenhismotherbegan,inguardedterms,tointimatehersorrowandsurpriseatmyhusband’sconduct,he,perceivingmyannoyance,instantlycametotherescue,anddelicatelyturnedtheconversation,atthesametimewarningher,byasidelongglance,nottorecurtothesubjectagain。Heseemedbentupondoingthehonoursofhishouseinthemostunexceptionablemanner,andexertingallhispowersfortheentertainmentofhisguest,andthedisplayofhisownqualificationsasahost,agentleman,andacompanion;andactuallysucceededinmakinghimselfveryagreeable——onlythathewastoopolite——Andyet,MrHargrave,Idon’tmuchlikeyou;thereisacertainwantofopennessaboutyouthatdoesnottakemyfancy,andalurkingselfishness,atthebottomofallyourfinequalities,thatI
donotintendtolosesightof。No;for,insteadofcombatingmyslightprejudiceagainstyouasuncharitable,Imeantocherishit,untilIamconvincedthatIhavenoreasontodistrustthiskind,insinuatingfriendshipyouaresoanxioustopushuponme。
Inthecourseofthefollowingsixweeks,Imethimseveraltimes,butalways,saveonce,incompanywithhismotherorhissister,orboth。
WhenIcalleduponthem,healwayshappenedtobeathome,andwhentheycalledonme,itwasalwayshethatdrovethemoverinthephaeton。Hismother,evidently,wasquitedelightedwithhisdutifulattentionsandnewly-acquireddomestichabits。
ThetimethatImethimalonewasonabrightbutnotoppressivelyhotdayinthebeginningofJuly:IhadtakenlittleArthurintothewoodthatskirtsthepark,andthereseatedhimonthemoss-cushionedrootsofanoldoak;and,havinggatheredahandfullofbluebellsandwildroses,Iwaskneelingbeforehim,andpresentingthem,onebyone,tothegraspofhistinyfingers;enjoyingtheheavenlybeautyoftheflowers,throughthemediumofhissmilingeyes;forgetting,forthemoment,allmycares,laughingathisgleefullaughter,anddelightingmyselfwithhisdelight,——whenashadowsuddenlyeclipsedthelittlespaceofsunshineonthegrassbeforeus;and,lookingup,IbeheldWalterHargravestandingandgazinguponus。
`Excuseme,MrsHuntingdon,’saidhe,`butIwasspellbound;I
hadneitherthepowertocomeforwardandinterruptyou,nortowithdrawfromthecontemplationofsuchascene——Howvigorousmylittlegodsongrows!andhowmerryheisthismorning。’Heapproachedthechildandstoopedtotakehishand;but,onseeingthathiscaresseswerelikelytoproducetearsandlamentationsinsteadofareciprocationoffriendlydemonstrations,heprudentlydrewback。
`Whatapleasureandcomfortthatlittlecreaturemustbetoyou,MrsHuntingdon!’heobserved,withatouchofsadnessinhisintonation,asheadmiringlycontemplatedtheinfant。
`Itis,’repliedI;andthenIaskedafterhismotherandsister。
Hepolitelyansweredmyenquiries,andthenreturnedagaintothesubjectIwishedtoavoid;thoughwithadegreeoftimiditythatwitnessedhisfeartooffend。
`YouhavenotheardfromHuntingdonlately?’hesaid。
`Notthisweek,’Ireplied,——Notthesethreeweeks,Imighthavesaid。
`Ihadaletterfromhimthismorning。IwishitweresuchaoneasIcouldshowtohislady。’HehalfdrewfromhiswaistcoatpocketaletterwithArthur’sstillbelovedhandontheaddress,scowledatit,andputitbackagain,adding——`Buthetellsmeheisabouttoreturnnextweek。’
`Hetellsmesoeverytimehewrites。’
`Indeed!——Wellitislikehim——Buttomehealwaysavowedithisintentiontostaytillthepresentmonth。’
Itstruckmelikeablow,thisproofofpremeditatedtransgressionandsystematicdisregardoftruth。
`Itisonlyofapiecewiththerestofhisconduct,’observedMrHargrave,thoughtfullyregardingme,andreading,Isuppose,myfeelingsinmyface。
`Thenheisreallycomingnextweek?’saidI,afterapause。
`Youmayrelyuponit——iftheassurancecangiveyouanypleasure——Andisitpossible,MrsHuntingdon,thatyoucanrejoiceathisreturn?’
heexclaimed,attentivelyperusingmyfeaturesagain。
`Ofcourse,MrHargrave;ishenotmyhusband?’
`Oh,Huntingdon,youknownotwhatyouslight!’hepassionatelymurmured。
Itookupmybabyand,wishinghimgoodmorning,departed,toindulgemythoughtsunscrutinized,withinthesanctumofmyhome。
AndwasIglad?——Yes,delighted;——thoughIwasangeredbyArthur’sconduct,andthoughIfeltthathehadwrongedme,andwasdeterminedheshouldfeelittoo。
TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter30CHAPTERXXXDomesticScenesONthefollowingmorning,Ireceivedafewlinesfromhimmyself,confirmingHargrave’sintimationsrespectinghisapproachingreturn。Andhedidcomenextweek,butinaconditionofbodyandmindevenworsethanbefore。
Ididnot,however,intendtopassoverhisderelictionsthistimewithoutaremark;——Ifounditwouldnotdo。Butthefirstday,hewaswearywithhisjourney,andIwasgladtogethimback:Iwouldnotupbraidhimthen;
Iwouldwaittilltomorrow。Nextmorning,hewaswearystill:Iwouldwaitalittlelonger。Butatdinner,when,afterbreakfastingattwelveo’clockonabottleofsoda-waterandacupofstrongcoffee,andlunchingattwoonanotherbottleofsodawatermingledwithbrandy,hewasfindingfaultwitheverythingonthetableanddeclaringwemustchangeourcook——Ithoughtthetimewascome。
`Itisthesamecookaswehadbeforeyouwent,Arthur,’saidI。Youweregenerallyprettywellsatisfiedwithherthen。’
`Youmusthavebeenlettinghergetintoslovenlyhabitsthen,whileIwasaway。Itisenoughtopoisonone——eatingsuchadisgustingmess!’Andhepettishlypushedawayhisplate,andleantbackdespairinglyinhischair。
`Ithinkitisyouthatarechanged,notshe,’saidI,butwiththeutmostgentleness,forIdidnotwishtoirritatehim。
`Itmaybeso,’hereplied,carelessly,asheseizedatumblerofwineandwater,adding,whenhehadtosseditoff——`forIhaveaninfernalfireinmyveins,thatallthewatersoftheoceancannotquench!’
`Whatkindledit?’Iwasabouttoask,butatthatmomentthebutlerenteredandbegantotakeawaythethings。
`Bequick,Benson——dohavedonewiththatinfernalclatter!’criedhismaster——`Anddon’tbringthecheese!——unlessyouwanttomakemesickoutright。’
Bensoninsomesurprise,removedthecheese,anddidhisbesttoeffectaquietandspeedyclearanceoftherest,but,unfortunately,therewasarumpleinthecarpet,causedbythehastypushingbackofhismaster’schair,atwhichhetrippedandstumbled,causingaratheralarmingconcussionwiththetrayfulofcrockeryinhishands,butnopositivedamage,savethefallandbreakingofasauce-tureen;——but,tomyunspeakableshameanddismay,Arthurturnedfuriouslyarounduponhim,andsworeathimwithsavagecoarseness。Thepoormanturnedpale,andvisiblytrembledashestoopedtopickupthefragments。
`Hecouldn’thelpit,Arthur,’saidI;`thecarpetcaughthisfoot——andthere’snogreatharmdone。Nevermindthepiecesnow,Benson,youcanclearthemawayafterwards。’
Gladtobereleased,Bensonexpeditiouslysetoutthedessertandwithdrew。
`Whatcouldyoumean,Helen,by`takingtheservant’spartagainstme,’saidArthur,assoonasthedoorwasclosed,`whenyouknewIwasdistracted?’
`Ididnotknowyouweredistracted,Arthur,andthepoormanwasquitefrightenedandhurtatyoursuddenexplosion。’
`Poormanindeed!anddoyouthinkIcouldstoptoconsiderthefeelingsofaninsensatebrutelikethat,whenmyownnerveswererackedandtorntopiecesbyhisconfoundedblunders?’
`Ineverheardyoucomplainofyournervesbefore。’
`Andwhyshouldn’tIhavenervesaswellasyou?’
`Oh,Idon’tdisputeyourclaimtotheirpossession,butInevercomplainofmine。’