首页 >出版文学> TheTenant of Wildfell Hall>第36章
  `Notlately,’Ireplied。
  `Ithoughtnot,’hemuttered,asiftohimself,lookingthoughtfullyontheground。
  `AreyounotlatelyreturnedfromLondon?’Iasked。
  `Onlyyesterday。’
  `Anddidyouseehimthere?’
  `Washewell?’
  `Yes——thatis,’saidhe,withincreasinghesitationandanappearanceofsuppressedindignation,`hewasaswellas——ashedeservedtobe,butundercircumstancesIshouldhavedeemedincredibleforamansofavouredasheis。’Heherelookedupandpointedthesentencewithaseriousbowtome,Isupposemyfacewascrimson。
  `Pardonme,MrsHuntingdon,’hecontinued,`butIcannotsuppressmyindignationwhenIbeholdsuchinfatuatedblindnessandperversionoftaste;——but,perhapsyouarenotaware——`’Hepaused,`Iamawareofnothing,sir——exceptthathedelayshiscominglongerthanIexpected;andifatpresent,heprefersthesocietyofhisfriendstothatofhiswife,andthedissipationsofthetowntothequietofcountrylife,IsupposeIhavethosefriendstothankforit。Theirtastesandoccupationsaresimilartohis,andIdon’tseewhyhisconductshouldawakeneithertheirindignationorsurprise。’
  `Youwrongmecruelly,’answeredhe:`IhavesharedbutlittleofMrHuntingdon’ssociety,forthelastfewweeks;andasforhistastesandoccupations,theyarequitebeyondme——lonelywandererasIam。WhereIhavebutsippedandtasted,hedrainsthecuptothedregs;andifeverforamomentIhavesoughttodrownthevoiceofreflectioninmadnessandfolly,orifIhavewastedtoomuchofmytimeandtalentsamongrecklessanddissipatedcompanions,GodknowsIwouldgladlyrenouncetheentirelyandforever,ifIhadbuthalftheblessingsthatmansothanklesslycastsbehindhisback——buthalftheinducementstovirtueanddomestic,orderlyhabitsthathedespises——butsuchahome,andsuchapartnertoshareit!——Itisinfamous!’hemuttered,betweenhisteeth。`Anddon’tthink,MrsHuntingdon,’headded,aloud,`thatIcouldbeguiltyofincitinghimtopersevereinhispresentpursuits:onthecontrary,Ihaveremonstratedwithhimagainandagain;Ihavefrequentlyexpressedmysurpriseathisconductandremindedhimofhisdutiesandhisprivileges——buttonopurpose;
  heonly——`’
  `Enough,MrHargrave;yououghttobeawarethatwhatevermyhusband’sfaultsmaybe,itcanonlyaggravatetheevilformetohearthemfromastranger’slips。’
  `AmIthenastranger?’saidhe,inasorrowfultone。`I
  amyournearestneighbour,yourson’sgodfather,andyourhusband’sfriend:
  mayInotbeyour’salso?’
  `Intimateacquaintancemustprecederealfriendship:Iknowbutlittleofyou,MrHargrave,exceptfromreport。’
  `HaveyouthenforgottenthesixorsevenweeksIspentunderyourrooflastautumn?Ihavenotforgottenthem。AndIknowenoughofyou,MrsHuntingdon,tothinkthatyourhusbandisthemostenviablemanintheworld,andIshouldbethenextifyouwoulddeemmeworthyofyourfriendship。’
  `Ifyouknewmoreofme,youwouldnotthinkit-orifyoudid,youwouldnotsayit,andexpectmetobeflatteredbythecompliment。’
  IsteppedbackwardasIspoke。HesawthatIwishedtheconversationtoend;andimmediatelytakingthehint,hegravelybowed,wishedmegoodevening,andturnedhishorsetowardstheroad。Heappearedgrievedandhurtatmyunkindreceptionofhissympathizingovertures。IwasnotsurethatIhaddonerightinspeakingsoharshlytohim;butatthetime,I
  hadfeltirritated——almostinsulted——byhisconduct;itseemedasifhewasprigupontheabsenceandneglectofmyhusband,andinsinuatingevenmorethanthetruthagainsthim。
  Rachelhadmovedon,duringourconversation,tosomeyards’distance,Herodeuptoher,andaskedtoseethechild,Hetookitcarefullyintohisarms,lookeduponitwithanalmostpaternalsmile,andIheardhimsay,asIapproached——
  `Andthis,too,hehasforsaken!’
  Hethentenderlykissedit,andrestoredittothegratifiednurse。
  `Areyoufondofchildren,MrHargrave?’saidI,alittlesoftenedtowardshim。
  `Notingeneral,’hereplied;`butthatissuchasweetchild——andsolikeitsmother,’headded,inalowertone。
  `Youaremistakenthere;itisitsfatheritresembles。’
  `AmInotright,nurse?’saidhe,appealingtoRachel。
  `Ithink,sir,there’sabitofboth,’shereplied,Hedeparted;andRachelpronouncedhimaverynicegentleman。
  Ihadstillmydoubtsonthesubject。
  WhenImethimonthemorrow,underhisownroof,hedidnotoffendmewithanymoreofhisvirtuousindignationagainstArthurorunwelcomesympathyforme;and,indeed,whenhismotherbegan,inguardedterms,tointimatehersorrowandsurpriseatmyhusband’sconduct,he,perceivingmyannoyance,instantlycametotherescue,anddelicatelyturnedtheconversation,atthesametimewarningher,byasidelongglance,nottorecurtothesubjectagain。Heseemedbentupondoingthehonoursofhishouseinthemostunexceptionablemanner,andexertingallhispowersfortheentertainmentofhisguest,andthedisplayofhisownqualificationsasahost,agentleman,andacompanion;andactuallysucceededinmakinghimselfveryagreeable——onlythathewastoopolite——Andyet,MrHargrave,Idon’tmuchlikeyou;thereisacertainwantofopennessaboutyouthatdoesnottakemyfancy,andalurkingselfishness,atthebottomofallyourfinequalities,thatI
  donotintendtolosesightof。No;for,insteadofcombatingmyslightprejudiceagainstyouasuncharitable,Imeantocherishit,untilIamconvincedthatIhavenoreasontodistrustthiskind,insinuatingfriendshipyouaresoanxioustopushuponme。
  Inthecourseofthefollowingsixweeks,Imethimseveraltimes,butalways,saveonce,incompanywithhismotherorhissister,orboth。
  WhenIcalleduponthem,healwayshappenedtobeathome,andwhentheycalledonme,itwasalwayshethatdrovethemoverinthephaeton。Hismother,evidently,wasquitedelightedwithhisdutifulattentionsandnewly-acquireddomestichabits。
  ThetimethatImethimalonewasonabrightbutnotoppressivelyhotdayinthebeginningofJuly:IhadtakenlittleArthurintothewoodthatskirtsthepark,andthereseatedhimonthemoss-cushionedrootsofanoldoak;and,havinggatheredahandfullofbluebellsandwildroses,Iwaskneelingbeforehim,andpresentingthem,onebyone,tothegraspofhistinyfingers;enjoyingtheheavenlybeautyoftheflowers,throughthemediumofhissmilingeyes;forgetting,forthemoment,allmycares,laughingathisgleefullaughter,anddelightingmyselfwithhisdelight,——whenashadowsuddenlyeclipsedthelittlespaceofsunshineonthegrassbeforeus;and,lookingup,IbeheldWalterHargravestandingandgazinguponus。
  `Excuseme,MrsHuntingdon,’saidhe,`butIwasspellbound;I
  hadneitherthepowertocomeforwardandinterruptyou,nortowithdrawfromthecontemplationofsuchascene——Howvigorousmylittlegodsongrows!andhowmerryheisthismorning。’Heapproachedthechildandstoopedtotakehishand;but,onseeingthathiscaresseswerelikelytoproducetearsandlamentationsinsteadofareciprocationoffriendlydemonstrations,heprudentlydrewback。
  `Whatapleasureandcomfortthatlittlecreaturemustbetoyou,MrsHuntingdon!’heobserved,withatouchofsadnessinhisintonation,asheadmiringlycontemplatedtheinfant。
  `Itis,’repliedI;andthenIaskedafterhismotherandsister。
  Hepolitelyansweredmyenquiries,andthenreturnedagaintothesubjectIwishedtoavoid;thoughwithadegreeoftimiditythatwitnessedhisfeartooffend。
  `YouhavenotheardfromHuntingdonlately?’hesaid。
  `Notthisweek,’Ireplied,——Notthesethreeweeks,Imighthavesaid。
  `Ihadaletterfromhimthismorning。IwishitweresuchaoneasIcouldshowtohislady。’HehalfdrewfromhiswaistcoatpocketaletterwithArthur’sstillbelovedhandontheaddress,scowledatit,andputitbackagain,adding——`Buthetellsmeheisabouttoreturnnextweek。’
  `Hetellsmesoeverytimehewrites。’
  `Indeed!——Wellitislikehim——Buttomehealwaysavowedithisintentiontostaytillthepresentmonth。’
  Itstruckmelikeablow,thisproofofpremeditatedtransgressionandsystematicdisregardoftruth。
  `Itisonlyofapiecewiththerestofhisconduct,’observedMrHargrave,thoughtfullyregardingme,andreading,Isuppose,myfeelingsinmyface。
  `Thenheisreallycomingnextweek?’saidI,afterapause。
  `Youmayrelyuponit——iftheassurancecangiveyouanypleasure——Andisitpossible,MrsHuntingdon,thatyoucanrejoiceathisreturn?’
  heexclaimed,attentivelyperusingmyfeaturesagain。
  `Ofcourse,MrHargrave;ishenotmyhusband?’
  `Oh,Huntingdon,youknownotwhatyouslight!’hepassionatelymurmured。
  Itookupmybabyand,wishinghimgoodmorning,departed,toindulgemythoughtsunscrutinized,withinthesanctumofmyhome。
  AndwasIglad?——Yes,delighted;——thoughIwasangeredbyArthur’sconduct,andthoughIfeltthathehadwrongedme,andwasdeterminedheshouldfeelittoo。
  TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter30CHAPTERXXXDomesticScenesONthefollowingmorning,Ireceivedafewlinesfromhimmyself,confirmingHargrave’sintimationsrespectinghisapproachingreturn。Andhedidcomenextweek,butinaconditionofbodyandmindevenworsethanbefore。
  Ididnot,however,intendtopassoverhisderelictionsthistimewithoutaremark;——Ifounditwouldnotdo。Butthefirstday,hewaswearywithhisjourney,andIwasgladtogethimback:Iwouldnotupbraidhimthen;
  Iwouldwaittilltomorrow。Nextmorning,hewaswearystill:Iwouldwaitalittlelonger。Butatdinner,when,afterbreakfastingattwelveo’clockonabottleofsoda-waterandacupofstrongcoffee,andlunchingattwoonanotherbottleofsodawatermingledwithbrandy,hewasfindingfaultwitheverythingonthetableanddeclaringwemustchangeourcook——Ithoughtthetimewascome。
  `Itisthesamecookaswehadbeforeyouwent,Arthur,’saidI。Youweregenerallyprettywellsatisfiedwithherthen。’
  `Youmusthavebeenlettinghergetintoslovenlyhabitsthen,whileIwasaway。Itisenoughtopoisonone——eatingsuchadisgustingmess!’Andhepettishlypushedawayhisplate,andleantbackdespairinglyinhischair。
  `Ithinkitisyouthatarechanged,notshe,’saidI,butwiththeutmostgentleness,forIdidnotwishtoirritatehim。
  `Itmaybeso,’hereplied,carelessly,asheseizedatumblerofwineandwater,adding,whenhehadtosseditoff——`forIhaveaninfernalfireinmyveins,thatallthewatersoftheoceancannotquench!’
  `Whatkindledit?’Iwasabouttoask,butatthatmomentthebutlerenteredandbegantotakeawaythethings。
  `Bequick,Benson——dohavedonewiththatinfernalclatter!’criedhismaster——`Anddon’tbringthecheese!——unlessyouwanttomakemesickoutright。’
  Bensoninsomesurprise,removedthecheese,anddidhisbesttoeffectaquietandspeedyclearanceoftherest,but,unfortunately,therewasarumpleinthecarpet,causedbythehastypushingbackofhismaster’schair,atwhichhetrippedandstumbled,causingaratheralarmingconcussionwiththetrayfulofcrockeryinhishands,butnopositivedamage,savethefallandbreakingofasauce-tureen;——but,tomyunspeakableshameanddismay,Arthurturnedfuriouslyarounduponhim,andsworeathimwithsavagecoarseness。Thepoormanturnedpale,andvisiblytrembledashestoopedtopickupthefragments。
  `Hecouldn’thelpit,Arthur,’saidI;`thecarpetcaughthisfoot——andthere’snogreatharmdone。Nevermindthepiecesnow,Benson,youcanclearthemawayafterwards。’
  Gladtobereleased,Bensonexpeditiouslysetoutthedessertandwithdrew。
  `Whatcouldyoumean,Helen,by`takingtheservant’spartagainstme,’saidArthur,assoonasthedoorwasclosed,`whenyouknewIwasdistracted?’
  `Ididnotknowyouweredistracted,Arthur,andthepoormanwasquitefrightenedandhurtatyoursuddenexplosion。’
  `Poormanindeed!anddoyouthinkIcouldstoptoconsiderthefeelingsofaninsensatebrutelikethat,whenmyownnerveswererackedandtorntopiecesbyhisconfoundedblunders?’
  `Ineverheardyoucomplainofyournervesbefore。’
  `Andwhyshouldn’tIhavenervesaswellasyou?’
  `Oh,Idon’tdisputeyourclaimtotheirpossession,butInevercomplainofmine。’