theattractionthatadowdhasforacertaintypeofmanIexpectedtoseeherwalkoutofherclothes-untilIlookedathereyes。”
“Hooksandeyes,surely。”drawledMrsMallowe。
“Don’tbeclever,PollyYoumakemyheadacheAndroundthishayrickstoodacrowdofmen-apositivecrowd!”
“Perhapstheyalsoexpected“-“Polly,don’tbeRabelaisian!”Mrs。
Mallowecurledherselfupcomfortablyonthesofa,andturnedherattentiontothesweets。
SheandMrsHauksbeesharedthesamehouseatSimla;andthesethingsbefelltwoseasonsafterthematterofOtisYeere,whichhasbeenalreadyrecorded。
MrsHauksbeesteppedintotheverandaandlookeddownupontheMall,herforeheadpuckeredwiththought。
“Hab!”saidMrsHauksbee,shortly“Indeed!”
“Whatisit?”saidMrsMallowe,sleepily。
“ThatdowdandTheDancingMaster-towhomIobject。”
“WhytoTheDancingMaster?Heisamiddle-agedgentleman,ofreprobateandromantictendencies,andtriestobeafriendofmine。”
“ThenmakeupyourmindtolosehimDowdsclingbynature,andIshouldimaginethatthisanimal-howterribleherbonnetlooksfromaboveisspeciallyclingsome。”
“SheiswelcometoTheDancingMastersofarasIamconcernedI
nevercouldtakeaninterestinamonotonousliarThefrustratedaimofhislifeistopersuadepeoplethatheisabachelor。”
“0-oh!IthinkI’vemetthatsortofmanbeforeAndisn’the?”
“NoHeconfidedthattomeafewdaysagoUgh!Somemenoughttohekilled。”
“Whathappenedthen?”
“Heposedasthehorrorofhorrors-amisunderstoodmanHeavenknowsthefemmeincompriseissadenoughandbadenough-buttheotherthing!”
“Andsofattoo!IshouldhavelaughedinhisfaceMenseldomconfideinmeHowisittheycometoyou?”
“Forthesakeofimpressingmewiththeircareersinthepast。
Protectmefrommenwithconfidences!”
“Andyetyouencouragethem?”
“WhatcanIdo?TheytalkIlisten,andtheyvowthatIamsympatheticIknowIalwaysprofessastonishmentevenwhentheplotis-ofthemostoldpossible。”
“YesMenaresounblushinglyexplicitiftheyareonceallowedtotalk,whereaswomen’sconfidencesarefullofreservationsandfibs,except“-“WhentheygomadandbabbleoftheUnutterabilitiesafteraweek’sacquaintanceReally,ifyoucometoconsider,weknowagreatdealmorementhanofourownsex。”
“Andtheextraordinarythingisthatmenwillneverbelieveit。
Theysaywearetryingtohidesomething。”
“TheyaregenerallydoingthatontheirownaccountAlas!Thesechocolatespalluponme,andI
haven’teatenmorethanadozenIthinkIshallgotosleep。”
“Thenyou’llgetfatdearIfyou216
WORKSOfRUDYARDKIPLING
SHEa!terapauseDoyouknowwhatyouhavesaid?
HE’Can’tsaythatIdoexactlyI’mnotinthebestoftempers。
SitinSoIsee,-andfeelMytrueandfaithfullover,whereisyour“eternalconstancy。”
“unalterabletrust。”and“reverentdevotion“?Irememberthosephrases;youseemtohaveforgottenthemImentionaman’sname-HEAgooddealmorethanthat。
SHEWell,speaktohimaboutadance-perhapsthelastdancethatIshalleverdanceinmylifebeforeI,-beforeIgoaway;andyouatoncedistrustandinsultme。
HEIneversaidaword。
SHEHowmuchdidyouimply?Guy,’5thisamountofconfidencetobeourstocktostartthenewlifeon?
HENo,ofcoursenotIdidn’tmeanthatOnmywordofhonor,Ididn’tLetitpass,dear。
Pleaseletitpass。
SHEThisonc~yes-andasecondtime,andagainandagain,allthroughtheyearswhenIshallbeunabletoresentitYouwanttoomuch,myLancelot,and,-youknowtoomuch。
HpHowdoyoumean?
SItEThatisapartofthepunishmentTherecannotbeperfecttrustbetweenus。
HEInHeaven’sname,whynot?
SHEHush!TheOtherPlaceisquiteenoughAskyourself。
HEIdon’tfollow。
SHEYoutrustmesoimplicitlythatwhenIlookatanotherman-
Nevermind,GuyHaveyouevermadelovetoagi4-agoodgirl?
HESomethingofthesortCenturiesago-intheDarkAges,beforeIevermetyou,dear。
SHETellmewhatyousaidtoher。
HEWhatdoesamansaytoagirl?I’veforgotten。
SHEIrememberHetellsherthathetrustsherandworshipsthegroundshewalkson,andthathe’llloveandhonorandprotecthertillherdyingday;andsoshemarriesinthatbeliefAtleast,Ispeakofonegirlwhowasnotprotected。
HEWell,andthen?
SHEAndthen,Guy,andthen,thatgirlneedstentimestheloveandtrustandhonor-yes,honor-thatwasenoughwhenshewasonlyamerewifeif-if-theotherlifeshechoosestoleadistobemadeevenbearableDoyouunderstand?
HEEvenbearable!It’llheParadise。
SHEAh!CanyougivemeallI’veaskedfor-notnow,norafewmonthslater,butwhenyoubegintothinkofwhatyoumighthavedoneifyouhadkeptyourownappointmentandyourcasteher~whenyoubegintolookuponmeasadragandaburden?
Ishallwantitmost,then,Guy,fortherewillbenooneinthewideworldbutyou。
HEYou’realittleover-tiredtonight,Sweetheart,andyou’retakingastageviewofthesituation。
AfterthenecessarybusinessintheCourts,theroadisclearto-SHE“Theholystateofmatrimony!”Ha!ha!ha!
HESsh!Don’tlaughinthathorribleway!
SHEI-Ic-c-c-can’thelpit!Isn’tittooabsurd!Ah!Ha!ha!ha!
Guy,ASECOND-RATEWOMAN
219
myselftotalkthiseveningMayIcallto-morrow?
SHEYesNo!Oh,givemetime!rhedayafterIgetintomy’rickshawhereandmeetHimatPeliti’sYouride。
HEI’llgoontoPeliti’stooIthinkIwantadrinkMyworld’sknockedaboutmyearsandthestarsarefalling。
WhoarethosebruteshowlingintheOldLibrary?
SHEThey’rerehearsingthesingingquadrillesfortheFancyBall。
Can’tyouhearMrsBuzgago’svoice?ShehasasoloIt’squiteanewideaListen。
MmBUzGAGOintheOldLibrary,conmoltexp。。
Seesaw!MargeryDaw!
Soldherbedtolieuponstraw。
Wasn’tsheasillyslutTosellherbedandlieupondirt?
CaptainCongleton,I’mgoingtoalterthatto“flirt。”Itsoundbetter。
HENo,I’vechangedmymindaboutthedrinkGood-night,~ttleladyIshallseeyouto-morrow?
SHEYe-esGood-night,GuyDon’tbeangrywithme。
HEAngry!YouknowItrustyouabsolutelyGood-nightand-Godblessyou!
ThreesecondslaterAlone。Hmm!I’dgivesomethingtodiscoverwLetherthere’sanothermanatthebackofallthis。
A~ond-RateWomanfuga,volviturrota,Onwedrift;whereloomsthedimport?
~9neTwoThreeFourFivecontrihutetheirquota:
Somethingirgainedifonecaughtbuttheimport,Showitus,HuguesofSaxe-Gotha-
Ma~terHuguesofSare-Gotha。
“DRESSED!Don’ttellmethatwomaneverdressedinherlife。
Shestoodinthemiddleofherroomwhileherayah-no,herhusband-itmusthavebeenanian-threwherclothesather。
Shethendidherhairwithherfingers,andrubbedherbonnetintheflueunderthebedI
knowshedid,aswellasifIhadassistedattheorgieWhoisshe?”saidMrsHauksbee。
“Don’t!”saidMrsMallowe,feebly。
“YoumakemyheadacheI’mmiserableto-dayStaymewithfondants,comfortmewithchocolates,forIam-DidyoubringanythingfromPeliti’s?”
“QuestionstobeginwithYoushallhavethesweetswhenyouhaveansweredthemWhoandwhatisthecreature?Therewereatleasthalfadozenmenroundher,andsheappearedtobegoingtosleepintheirmidst。”
“Delville。”saidMrsMallowe,“’Shady’Delville,todistinguishherfromMrsJimofthatilk。
Shedancesasuntidilyasshedresses,Ibelieve,andherhusbandissomewhereinMadrasGoandca~l,ifyouaresointerested。”
’~WhathaveItodowithShigramitishwomen?Shemerelycaughtmyattentionforaminute,andIwonderedatTHEHILLOFILLUSION
217
~opmequickorIshall-i-i-laughtillwegettotheChurch。
HEForgoodness’sake,stop!Don’tmakeanexhibitionofyourselfWhatisthematterwithyou?
SHEN-nothingI’mbetternowHEThat’sallrightOnemoment,dearThere’salittlewispofhairgotloosefrombehindyourrightearandit’sstragglingoveryourcheekSo!
SHEThank’ooI’m’fraidmyhat’sononeside,too。
~IEWhatdoyouwearthesehugedaggerbonnet-skewersfor?
They’rebigenoughtokillamanwith。
SHEOh!Don’tkillme,though~~u’restickingitintomyhead!
LetmedoitYoumenaresoclumsy。
HEHaveyouhadmanyopportunitiesofcomparingus-inthissortofwork?
SHEGuy,whatismyname?
HEEh!Idon’tfollow。
SHEHere’smycardcaseCany~uread?
HEYesWell?
SHEWell,thatanswersyourquestionYouknowtheotherman5
nameAn’Isufficientlyhumbled,orwouldyouliketoaskmeifthereisanyoneelse?
HEIseenowMydarling,InevermeantthatforaninstantIwasonlyjokingThere!Luckythere’snooneontheroadThey’dbescandalized。
SHEThey’llbemorescandalizedbeforetheend。
HEDo-on’t!Idon’tlikeyoutotalkinthatway。
SHEUnreasonableman!Whoaskedmetofacethesituationandacceptit?-
Tellme,doIlooklikeMrsPenner?DoIlooklikeanaughtywoman?SwearIdon’t!Givemeyourwordofhonor,myhonorablefriend,thatI’mnotlikeMrsBuzgagoThat’sthewayshestands,withherhandsclaspedatthebackofherheadD’youlikethat?
HEDon’tbeaffected。
SHEI’mnotI’mMrsBuzgagoListen!
Pendantuneanne’touteentiereLeregimentn’apasr’naru。
AuMinisteredelau,uerreOnler’portacommeperdu。
Onser’noncaita’r’trouversatrace,Quandunmatinsubitement,Onlevitr’paraitresurla~ace,L’Coloneltoujoursenavant。
That’sthewaysherollsherr’sAmIlikeher?
HENo,butIobjectwhenyougoonlikeanactressandsingstuffofthatkindWhereintheworlddidyoupickuptheChansonduColonel?Itisn’tadrawing-roomsongItisn’tproper。
SHEMrsBuzgagotaughtitmeSheisbothdrawing-roomandpropel,andinanothermonthshe’llshutheidrawing-roomtome,andthankGodsh~isn’tasimproperasIamOh,Guy,Guy!
IwishIwaslikesemewomeuandhadnoscruplesabout-whatisicKeenesays?-“Wearingacorpse’shairandbeingfalsetothebreadtheyeat。”
HEIamonlyamanoflimitedintelligence,andjustnow,verybewilderedWhenyouhavequitefinishedflashingthroughallyourmoodstellme,andI’lltrytounderstandthelastone。
SHEMoods,Guy!Ihaven’tanyI’msixteenyearsoldandyou’rejusttwenty,andyou’vebeenwaitingfortwohoursoutsidetheschoolinthecoldAndnowI’vemetyou,andnowwe’r~