wouldhavemadehimanything!AnythinginthewideworldHecouldhavegonetotheworld’sendIwouldhavehelpedhimImadehim,didn’tI,Polly?Didn’tIcreatethatman?Doesn’theoweeverythingtome?Andtorewardme,justwheneverythingwasnicelyarranged,bythislunacythatspoiledeverything!”
“Veryfewmenunderstandyourdevotionthoroughly。”
“Oh,Polly,don’tlaughatme!IgivemenupfromthishourI
couldhavekilledhimthenandthereWhatrighthadthisman-thisThingIhadpickedoutofhisfilthypaddy-fields-tomakelovetome?”
“Hedidthat,didhe?”
“HedidIdon’trememberhalfhesaid,IwassoangryOh,hutsuchafunnythinghappened!I
can’thelplaughingatitnow,thoughIfeltnearlyreadytocrywithrageHeravedandI
stormed-I’mafraidwemusthavemadeanawfulnoiseinourkalajuggahProtectmycharacter,dear,ifit’salloverSimlabyto-morrow-andthenhebobbedforwardinthemiddleofthisinsanity-Ifirmlybelievetheman’sdemented-andkissedme!”
“Moralsabovereproach。”purredMrsMallowe。
“Sotheywer~sotheyare!ItwasthemostabsurdkissIdon’tbelievehe’deverkissedawomaninhislifebeforeIthrewmyheadback,anditwasasortofslidy,peckingdab,justontheendofthechin-here。”MrsHauksbeetappedhermasculinelittlechinwithherfan“Then,ofcourse,I
wasjuriouslyangry,andtoldhimthathewasnogentleman,andI
wassorryI’devermethim,andsoonHewascrushedsoeasilythatIcouldn’tbeveryangryThenIcameawaystraighttoyou。”
“Wasthisbeforeoraftersupper?”
“Oh!before-oceansbeforeIsn’titperfectlydisgusting?”
“LetmethinkIwithholdjudgmenttillto-morrowMorningbringscounsel。”
ButmorningbroughtonlyaservantwithadaintybouquetofAnnandalerosesforMrsHauksbeetowearatthedanceatViceregalLodgethatnight。
“Hedoesn’tseemtobeverypenitent。”saidMrsMallowe“What’sth,’billet-douxinthecentre?”
MrsHauksbeeopenedtheneatlyfoldednote,-anotheraccomplishmentthatshehadtaughtOtis,-readit,andgroanedtragically。
“Lastwreckofafeebleintellect!Poetry!Isithisown,doyouthink?Oh,thatIeverbuiltmyhopesonsuchamaudlinidiot!”
“NoIt’saquotationfromMrsBrowning,and,inviewofthefactsofthecase,asJacksays,uncommonlywellchosenListen-“’Sweetthouhastrodonaheart,Pass!There’saworldfullofmenAndwomenasfairasthouart,Mustdosuchthingsnowandthefl“’Thouonlyhaststeppedunaware-Malicenotonecanimpute;
Andwhyshouldahearthavebeenthere,Inthewayofafairwoman5foot?’
“Ididn’t-Ididn’t-Ididn’t!“-saidMrsHauksbee,angrily,hereyesfillingwithtears;“therewasnomaliceatal~Oh,it’stoovexatious!”
“You’vemisunderstoodthecompliment。”saidMrsMallowe“Heclearsyoucompletelyand-ahem-1shouldthinkbythis,thathehasclearedcompletelytooMyexperienceofmenisthatwhentheybegintoquotepoetry,theyaregoingtoflitLikeswanssingingbeforetheydie,youknow。”
’Polly,youtakemysorrowsinamostunfeelingway。”
“DoI?”Isitsoterrible?Ifhe’shurtyourvanity,Ishouldsaythatyou’vedoneacertainamountofdamagetohisheart。”
“Oh,younevercantellaboutamansaidMrsHauksbee。
AtthePit’sMouthMensayitwasastolentid~
TheLordthatsentitheknowsall,ButinmineearwillayeabideThemessagethatthebellsletfall,Andawesomebellstheyweretome,Thatinthedarkrang,“Enderby。”-
JeanIngelow。
ONCEuponatimetherewasamanandhisWifeandaTertiumQuid。
Allthreewereunwise,buttheWifewastheunwisestTheManshouldhavelookedafterhisWife,whoshouldhaveavoidedtheTertiumQuid,who,again,shouldhavemarriedawifeofhisown,aftercleanandopenflirtations,towhichnobodycanpossiblyobject,roundJakkoorObservatoryHillWhenyouseeayoungmanwithhisponyinawhitelather,andhishatonthebackofhisheadflyingdown-hillatfifteenmilesanhourtomeetagirlwhowillheproperlysurprisedtomeethim,younaturallyapproveofthatyoungman,andwishhimStaffAppointments,andtakeaninterestinhiswelfare,and,asthepropertimecomes,givethemsugar-tongsorside-saddleiaccordingtoyourmeansandgenerosity。
TheTertiumQuidflewdown-hillonhorseback,butitwastomeettheMan’sWife;andwhenheflewup-hillitwasforthesameend。
TheManwasinthePlains,earningmoneyforhisWifetospendondressesandfour-hundred-rupeebracelets,andinexpensiveluxuriesofthatkindHeworkedveryhard,andsentheraletterorapost-carddailyShealsowrotetohimdaily,andsaidthatshewaslongingforhimtocomeuptoSimlaTheTertiumQuidusedtoleanoverhershoulderandlaughasshewrotethenotesThenthetwowouldridetothePostOfficetogether。
Now,Simlaisastrangeplaceanditscustomsarepeculiar;norisanymanwhohasnotspentatleasttenseasonstherequalifiedtopassjudgmentoncircumstantialevidencewhichisthemostuntrustworthyintheCourtsForthesereasons,andforotherswhichneednotappear,IdeclinetostatepositivelywhethertherewasanythingirretrievablywrongintherelationsbetweentheMan’sWifeandtheTertiumQuidIftherewas,andhereonyoumustformyourownopinion,itwastheMan’sWife’sfaultShewaskittenishinhermanners,wearinggenerallyanairofATTHEPIT’SMOUTh201
“You’vemisunderstoodthecompliment。”saidMrsMallowe“Heclearsyoucompletelyand-ahem-Ishouldthinkbythis,thathehasclearedcompletelytooMyexperienceofmenisthatwhentheybegintoquotepoetry,theyaregoingtoflitLikeswanssing’ngbeforetheydie,youknow。”
’Polly,youtakemysorrowsinamostunfeelingway。”
“DoI?”Isitsoterrible?Ifhe’shurtyourvanity,Ishouldsaythatyou’vedoneacertainamountofdamagetohisheart。”
“Oh,younevercantellaboutaman!”saidMrsHauksbee。
AtthePit’sMouthMensayitwasastolentid~
TheLordthatsentitheknowsall,ButinmineearwillayeabideThemessagethatthebellsletfall,Andawesomebellstheyweretome,Thatinthedarkrang,“Enderby。”-
JeanIngelaw~
ONCEuponatimetherewasamanandhisWifeandaTertiumQuid。
Allthreewereunwise,buttheWifewastheunwisestTheManshouldhavelookedafterhisWife,whoshouldhaveavoidedtheTertiuinQuid,who,again,shouldhavemarriedawifeofhisown,aftercleanandopenflirtations,towhichnobodycanpossiblyobject,roundJakkoorObservatoryHillWhenyouseeayoungmanwithhisponyinawhitelather,andhishatonthebackofhisheadflyingdown-hillatfifteenmilesanhourtomeetagirlwhowillheproperlysurprisedtomeethim,younaturallyapproveofthatyoungman,andwishhimStaffAppointments,andtakeaninterestinhiswelfare,and,asthepropertimecomes,givethemsugar-tongsorside-saddle~accordingtoyourmeansandgenerosity。
TheTertiumQuidflewdown-hillonhorseback,butitwastomeettheMan’sWife;andwhenheflewup-hillitwasforthesameend。
TheManwasinthePlains,earningmoneyforhisWifetospendondressesandfour-hundred-rupeebracelets,andinexpensiveluxuriesofthatkindHeworkedveryhard,andsentheraletterorapost-carddailyShealsowrotetohimdaily,andsaidthatshewaslongingforhimtocomeuptoSimlaTheTertiumQuidusedtoleanoverhershoulderandlaughasshewrotethenotesThenthetwowouldridetothePostOfficetogether。
Now,Simlaisastrangeplaceanditscustomsarepeculiar;norisanymanwhohasnotspentatleasttenseasonstherequalifiedtopassjudgmentoncircumstantialevidencewhichisthemostuntrustworthyintheCourtsForthesereasons,andforotherswhichneednotappear,IdeclinetostatepositivelywhethertherewasanythingirretrievablywrongintherelationsbetweentheMan’sWifeandtheTertiumQuidIftherewas,andhereonyoumustformyourownopinion,itwastheMan’sWife’sfaultShewaskittenishinhermanners,wearinggenerallyanairof201
WORKSOFRUDYARDKIPLING
渙ftandfluffyinnocenceButshewasdeidlilylearnedandevil-instructed;and,nowandagain,whenthemaskdropped,mensawthis,snudueredand~almostdrewbackMenareoccasionallyparucular,andtheleastparticularmenarealwaysthemostexacting。
SimlaiseccentricinitsfashionoftearingfriendshipsCertainattachments~iclihavesetandcrystallizedthroughhalfadozenseasonsacquirealmostthesanctityofthemarriagebond,andarereveredassuchAgain,certainattachmentsequallyold,and,toallappearance,equallyvenerable,neverseemtowinanyrecognizedofficialstatus;whileachance-sprungacquaintancenowtwomonthsborn,stepsintotheplacewhichbyrightbelongstothe~eniorThereisnolawreducibletoprintwhichregulatestheseaffairs。
Somepeoplehaveagjftwhichsecurestheminfiniteteleration,andothershavenotTheMan’sWifehadnotIfshelookedoverthegardenwall,forin-stance,womentaxedherwithstealingtheirhusbandsShecomplainedpatheticallythatshewasnotallowedtochooseherownfriends。
Whensheputupherbigwhitemufftoherlips,andgazedoveritandunderhereyebrowsatyouas~hesaidthisthing,youfeltthatshehadbeeninfamouslymisjudged,andthatalltheotherwomen’sinstinctswereallwrong;whichwasabsurdShewasnotallowedtoowntheTertiumQuidinpeace;andwassostrangelyconstructedthatshewouldnothaveenjoyedpeacehadshebeensopermittedShepreferredsomesemblanceofintriguetocloakevenhermostcornmonpiaceactions。
Afte~twomonthsofriding,firstroundJakko,thenElysium,thenSummerHill,thenObservatoryHill,thepunderJutogh,andlastlyupanddowntheCartRoadasfarastheTaraDevigapinthedusk,shesaidtotheTertiumQuid,’~Frank,peoplesaywearetoomuchtogether,andpeoplearesohorrid。”
TheTertiumQuidpulledhismoustache,andrepliedthathorridpeoplewereunworthyoftheconsiderationoinicepeople。
“Buttheyhavedonemorethantalk-theyhavewritten-writtentomyhubby-I’msureofit。”saidtheMan’sWife,andshepulledaletterfromherhusbandoutofhersaddle-pocketan~gaveittotheTertiumQuid。
Itwasanhonestletter,writtenb~anhonestman,thenstewinginth~Plainsontwohundredrupeesamonthforheallowedhiswifeeighthundre~andfifty,andinasilkbanianandcottontrousersItissaidthat,perhaps,shehadnothoughtoftheunwisdomofallowinghernametobesogenerallycoupledwiththeTertiumQuid’s;thatshewastoomuchofachildtounderstandthedangersofthatsortofthing;thathe,herhusband,wasthelastmanintheworldtointerferejealouslywithherlittleamusementsandinterests,butthatitwouldbebetterwereshetodroptheTertiumQuidquietlyandforherhusband’ssakeTheletterwassweetenedwithmanyprettylittlepetnames,anditamusedtheTertiumQuidconsiderablyHeandShelaughedoverit,sothatyou,fiftyyardsaway,couldseetheirshouldersshakingwhilethehorsesslouchedalongsidebyside。
TheirconversationwasnotworthreportingTheupshotofitwasthat,ATTHEPIT’la,MOUTh203
nextday,noonesawtheMan’sWifeandtheTertiumQuidtogetherTheyhadbothgonedowntotheCemetery,whiob,asarule,isonlyvisitedofficiallybytheinhabitantsofSimla。