fromthispositionofhelplessnessandhumiliationIwasrescuedbyMissHalcombe。Herlipstoldmethebitter,thenecessary,theunexpectedtruth;herheartykindnesssustainedmeundertheshockofhearingit;
hersenseandcourageturnedtoitsrightuseaneventwhichthreatenedtheworstthatcouldhappen,tomeandtoothers,inLimmeridgeHouse。IXItwasonaThursdayintheweek,andnearlyattheendofthethirdmonthofmysojourninCumberland。
Inthemorning,whenIwentdownintothebreakfast-roomattheusualhour,MissHalcombe,forthefirsttimesinceIhadknownher,wasabsentfromhercustomaryplaceatthetable。
MissFairliewasoutonthelawn。Shebowedtome,butdidnotcomein。Notawordhaddroppedfrommylips,orfromhers,thatcouldunsettleeitherofus——andyetthesameunacknowledgedsenseofembarrassmentmadeusshrinkalikefrommeetingoneanotheralone。Shewaitedonthelawn,andIwaitedinthebreakfast-room,tillMrsVeseyorMissHalcombecamein。HowquicklyIshouldhavejoinedher:howreadilyweshouldhaveshakenhands,andglidedintoourcustomarytalk,onlyafortnightago。
InafewminutesMissHalcombeentered。Shehadapreoccupiedlook,andshemadeherapologiesforbeinglateratherabsently。
`Ihavebeendetained,’shesaid。`byaconsultationwithMrFairlieonadomesticmatterwhichhewishedtospeaktomeabout。’
MissFairliecameinfromthegarden,andtheusualmorninggreetingpassedbetweenus。Herhandstruckcoldertominethanever。Shedidnotlookatme,andshewasverypale。EvenMrsVeseynoticedwhensheenteredtheroomamomentafter。
`Isupposeitisthechangeinthewind,’saidtheoldlady。`Thewinteriscoming——ah,mylove,thewinteriscomingsoon!’
Inherheartandinmineithadcomealready!
Ourmorningmeal——oncesofullofpleasantgood-humoureddiscussionoftheplansfortheday——wasshortandsilent。MissFairlieseemedtofeeltheoppressionofthelongpausesintheconversation,andlookedappealinglytohersistertofillthemup。MissHalcombe,afteronceortwicehesitatingandcheckingherself,inamostuncharacteristicmanner,spokeatlast。
`Ihaveseenyourunclethismorning,Laura,’shesaid。`Hethinksthepurpleroomistheonethatoughttobegotready,andheconfirmswhatItoldyou。Mondayistheday——notTuesday。’
WhilethesewordswerebeingspokenMissFairlielookeddownatthetablebeneathher。Herfingersmovednervouslyamongthecrumbsthatwerescatteredonthecloth。Thepalenessonhercheeksspreadtoherlips,andthelipsthemselvestrembledvisibly。Iwasnottheonlypersonpresentwhonoticedthis。MissHalcombesawit,too,andatoncesetustheexampleofrisingfromtable。
MrsVeseyandMissFairlielefttheroomtogether。Thekindsorrowfulblueeyeslookedatme,foramoment,withtheprescientsadnessofacomingandalongfarewell。Ifelttheansweringpanginmyownheart——thepangthattoldmeImustlosehersoon,andloveherthemoreunchangeablyfortheloss。
Iturnedtowardsthegardenwhenthedoorhadclosedonher。MissHalcombewasstandingwithherhatinherhand,andhershawloverherarm,bythelargewindowthatledouttothelawn,andwaslookingatmeattentively。
`Haveyouanyleisuretimetospare,’sheasked,`beforeyoubegintoworkinyourownroom?’
`Certainly,MissHalcombe。Ihavealwaystimeatyourservice。’
`Iwanttosayawordtoyouinprivate,MrHartright。Getyourhatandcomeoutintothegarden。Wearenotlikelytobedisturbedthereatthishourinthemorning。’
Aswesteppedoutontothelawn,oneoftheunder-gardeners——amerelad——passedusonhiswaytothehouse,withaletterinhishand。MissHalcombestoppedhim。
`Isthatletterforme?’sheasked。
`Nay,miss;it’sjustsaidtobeforMissFairlie,’answeredthelad,holdingouttheletterashespoke。
MissHalcombetookitfromhimandlookedattheaddress。
`Astrangehandwriting,’shesaidtoherself。`WhocanLaura’scorrespondentbe?Wheredidyougetthis?’shecontinued,addressingthegardener,`Well,miss,’saidthelad,`ljustgotitfromawoman。’
`Whatwoman?’
`Awomanwellstrickeninage。’
`Oh,anoldwoman。Anyoneyouknew?’
`Icannatak’itonmysel’tosaythatshewasotherthanastrangertome。’
`Whichwaydidshego?’
`Thatgate,’saidtheunder-gardener,turningwithgreatdeliberationtowardsthesouth,andembracingthewholeofthatpartofEnglandwithonecomprehensivesweepofhisarm。
`Curious,’saidMissHalcombe;`Isupposeitmustbeabegging-letter。
There,’sheadded,handingtheletterbacktothelad,`takeittothehouse,andgiveittooneoftheservants。Andnow,MrHartright,ifyouhavenoobjection,letuswalkthisway。’
Sheledmeacrossthelawn,alongthesamepathbywhichIhadfollowedheronthedayaftermyarrivalatLimmeridge。Atthelittlesummer-house,inwhichLauraFairlieandIhadfirstseeneachother,shestopped,andbrokethesilencewhichshehadsteadilymaintainedwhilewewerewalkingtogether。
`WhatIhavetosaytoyouIcansayhere。’
Withthosewordssheenteredthesummer-house,tookoneofthechairsatthelittleroundtableinside,andsignedtometotaketheother。I
suspectedwhatwascomingwhenshespoketomeinthebreakfast-room;I
feltcertainofitnow。
`MrHartright,’shesaid,`Iamgoingtobeginbymakingafrankavowaltoyou。Iamgoingtosay——withoutphrase-making,whichIdetest,orpayingcompliments,whichIheartilydespise——thatIhavecome,inthecourseofyourresidencewithus,tofeelastrongfriendlyregardforyou。Iwaspredisposedinyourfavourwhenyoufirsttoldmeofyourconducttowardsthatunhappywomanwhomyoumetundersuchremarkablecircumstances。
Yourmanagementoftheaffairmightnothavebeenprudent,butitshowedtheself-control,thedelicacy,andthecompassionofamanwhowasnaturallyagentleman。Itmademeexpectgoodthingsfromyou,andyouhavenotdisappointedmyexpectations。’
Shepaused——butheldupherhandatthesametime,asasignthatsheawaitednoanswerfrommebeforesheproceeded。WhenIenteredthesummer-house,nothoughtwasinmeofthewomaninwhite。Butnow,MissHalcombe’sownwordshadputthememoryofmyadventurebackinmymind。
Itremainedtherethroughouttheinterview——remained,andnotwithoutaresult。
`Asyourfriend,’sheproceeded,`Iamgoingtotellyou,atonce,inmyownplain,blunt,downrightlanguage,thatIhavediscoveredyoursecret——withouthelporhint,mind,fromanyoneelse。MrHartright,youhavethoughtlesslyallowedyourselftoformanattachment——aseriousanddevotedattachment,Iamafraid——tomysisterLaura。Idon’tputyoutothepainofconfessingitinsomanywords,becauseIseeandknowthatyouaretoohonesttodenyit。Idon’tevenblameyou——Ipityyouforopeningyourhearttoahopelessaffection。Youhavenotattemptedtotakeanyunderhandadvantage——youhavenotspokentomysisterinsecret。Youareguiltyofweaknessandwantofattentiontoyourownbestinterests,butofnothingworse。Ifyouhadacted,inanysinglerespect,lessdelicatelyandlessmodestly,Ishouldhavetoldyoutoleavethehouse,withoutaninstant’snotice,oraninstant’sconsultationofanybody。Asitis,I
blamethemisfortuneofyouryearsandyourposition——Idon’tblameyou。
Shakehands——Ihavegivenyoupain;Iamgoingtogiveyoumore,butthereisnohelpforit——shakehandswithyourfriend,MarianHalcombe,first。’
Thesuddenkindness——thewarm,high-minded,fearlesssympathywhichmetmeonsuchmercyequalterms,whichappealedwithsuchdelicateandgenerousabruptnessstraighttomyheart,myhonour,andmycourage,overcamemeinaninstant。Itriedtolookatherwhenshetookmyhand,butmyeyesweredim。Itriedtothankher,butmyvoicefailedme。
`Listentome,’shesaid,consideratelyavoidingallnoticeofmylossofself-control。`Listentome,andletusgetitoveratonce。ItisarealtruerelieftomethatIamnotobliged,inwhatIhavenowtosay,toenterintothequestion——thehardandcruelquestionasIthinkit——ofsocialinequalities。Circumstanceswhichwilltryyoutothequick,sparemetheungraciousnecessityofpainingamanwhohaslivedinfriendlyintimacyunderthesameroofwithmyselfbyanyhumiliatingreferencetomattersofrankandstation。YoumustleaveLimmeridgeHouse,MrHartright,beforemoreharmisdone。Itismydutytosaythattoyou;
anditwouldbeequallymydutytosayit,underpreciselythesameseriousnecessity,ifyouweretherepresentativeoftheoldestandwealthiestfamilyinEngland。Youmustleaveus,notbecauseyouareateacherofdrawing——’
Shewaitedamoment,turnedherfacefullonme,andreachingacrossthetable,laidherhandfirmlyonmyarm。
`Notbecauseyouareateacherofdrawing,’sherepeated,`butbecauseLauraFairlieisengagedtobemarried。’
Thelastwordwentlikeabullettomyheart。Myarmlostallsensationofthehandthatgraspedit。Inevermovedandneverspoke。Thesharpautumnbreezethatscatteredthedeadleavesatourfeetcameascoldtome,onasudden,asifmyownmadhopesweredeadleavestoo,whirledawaybythewindliketherest。Hopes!Betrothed,ornotbetrothed,shewasequallyfarfromme。Wouldothermenhaverememberedthatinmyplace?NotiftheyhadlovedherasIdid。
第13章