`Whoisit？’sheaskedherself。`All-orone？’Andwithoutkeepingupherendoftheconversation，thethreadofwhichtheharassedyoungmanshewasdancingwithlostandcouldnotpickupagain，sheobeyedwithexternallivelinesstheperemptoryshoutsofKorsunskystartingthemallintothegrandrond，andthenintothechaine，andatthesametimeshekeptwatchwithagrowingpangatherheart。`No，it’snotadmirationofthecrowdthathasintoxicatedher，buttheadorationofone。Andthatone？Canitbehe？’EverytimehespoketoAnnathejoyouslightflashedintohereyes，andthesmileofhappinesscurvedherredlips。Sheseemedtomakeanefforttocontrolherself，inordernottoshowthesesignsofdelight，buttheyappearedonherfaceofthemselves。
　　`Butwhatofhim？’Kittylookedathimandwashorrified。WhatwaspicturedsoclearlytoKittyinthemirrorofAnna’sfaceshesawinhim。Whathadbecomeofhisalwayscalm，firmmanner，andthecarelesslycalmexpressionofhisface？Noweverytimeheturnedtoherhebenthishead，asthoughhewouldhavefallenatherfeet，andinhiseyestherewasnothingbuthumblesubmissionanddread。`Iwouldnotoffendyou，’hiseyesseemedtobesayingeachtime，`butIwanttosavemyself，andIdon’tknowhow。’
　　OnhisfacewasalooksuchasKittyhadneverseenbefore。
　　Theywerespeakingofcommonacquaintances，keepingupthesmallestofsmalltalk，buttoKittyitseemedthateverywordtheysaidwasdeterminingtheirfateandhers。Andstrangelyenough，althoughtheywereactuallytalkingofhowabsurdIvanIvanovichwaswithhisFrench，andhowtheEletskygirlmighthavemadeabettermatch，thesewordswereyetfraughtwithsignificanceforthem，andtheysensedthisasmuchasKittydid。Thewholeball，thewholeworld，everythingseemedscreenedbyafogwithinKitty’ssoul。Nothingbutthesterndisciplineofherbringing-upsupportedherandforcedhertodowhatwasexpectedofher-thatis，todance，toanswerquestions，totalk，eventosmile。Butbeforethemazurka，whentheywerebeginningtorearrangethechairsandafewcouplesmovedoutofthesmallerroomsintothebigroom，amomentofdespairandhorrorcameforKitty。
　　Shehadrefusedfivepartners，andnowshewasnotdancingthemazurka。
　　Shehadnotevenahopeofbeingaskedforit，becauseshewassosuccessfulinsocietythattheideawouldneveroccurtoanyonethatshehadremaineddisengagedtillnow。Shewouldhavetotellhermothershefeltillandgohome，yetshehadnotthestrengthtodothis。Shefeltcrushed。
　　Shewenttothefarthestendoftheseconddrawingroomandsankintoalowchair。Herlight，transparentskirtsroselikeacloudaboutherslenderwaist；onebare，thin，soft，girlisharm，hanginglistlessly，waslostinthefoldsofherpinktunic；intheothersheheldherfanandwithrapid，shortstrokesfannedherburningface。Yet，whileshelookedlikeabutterflyclingingtoabladeofgrass，andjustabouttoopenitsrainbowwingsforfreshflight，herheartachedwithahorribledespair。
　　`ButperhapsIamwrong-perhapsitwasnotso？’Andagainsherecalledallshehadseen。
　　`Kitty，whatisit？’saidCountessNordstone，steppingnoiselesslyoverthecarpettowardher。`Idon’tunderstandit。’
　　Kitty’slowerlipbegantoquiver；shegotupquickly。
　　`Kitty，you’renotdancingthemazurka？’
　　`No，no，’saidKittyinavoiceshakingwithtears。
　　`Heaskedherforthemazurkainmypresence，’saidCountessNordstone，knowingKittywouldunderstandwhoheandherwere。`Shesaid:``Why，aren’tyougoingtodanceitwithPrincessShcherbatskaia？’’’
　　`Oh，itdoesn’tmattertome！’answeredKitty。
　　Noonebutsheherselfunderstoodherposition；nooneknewthatshehadrefusedyesterdaythemanwhomperhapssheloved，andrefusedhimbecauseshehadputherfaithinanother。
　　CountessNordstonefoundKorsunsky，withwhomshewastodancethemazurka，andtoldhimtoaskKitty。
　　Kittydancedinthefirstcouple，andluckilyforhershehadnottotalkbecauseKorsunskywasallthetimerunningabout，overseeinghisdemesne。VronskyandAnnaweresittingalmostoppositeher。Shesawthemwithherfarsightedeyes，andsawthem，too，closebywhentheymetinthefigures，andthemoreshesawofthemthemoreconvincedwasshethatherunhappinesswasconsummated。Shesawthattheyfeltthemselvesaloneinthiscrowdedroom。AndonVronsky’sface，alwayssofirmandindependent，shesawthelookthathadstruckher，ofbewildermentandhumblesubmissiveness，liketheexpressionofanintelligentdogwhenithasdonewrong。
　　Annasmiled-andhersmilewasreflectedbyhim。Shegrewthoughtful-andhebecameserious。SomesupernaturalforcedrewKitty’seyestoAnna’sface。Shewascharminginhersimpleblackdress；charmingwereherroundarmswiththeirbracelets；charmingwasherfirmneckwithitsthreadofpearls；charmingthestrayingcurlsofherloosehair；charmingthegraceful，lightmovementsofherlittlefeetandhands，charmingwasthatlovelyfaceinitsanimation-yettherewassomethingterribleandcruelinhercharm。
　　Kittyadmiredhermorethanever，andmoreandmoreacutedidhersufferinggrow。Kittyfeltcrushed，andherfaceshowedit。WhenVronskycaughtsightofher，cominguponherinthemazurka，hedidnotatoncerecognizeher，sochangedwasshe。
　　`Delightfulball！’hesaidtoher，merelyforthesakeofsayingsomething。
　　`Yes，’sheanswered。
　　Inthemiddleofthemazurka，repeatingacomplicatedfigure，newlyinventedbyKorsunsky，Annacameforwardintothecenterofthecircle，chosetwogentlemen，andsummonedKittyandanotherlady。Kittygazedatherindismayasshewentup。Annalookedatherwithdroopingeyelids，andsmiled，pressingherhand。But，noticingthatKittyonlyrespondedtohersmilebyalookofdespairandamazement，sheturnedawayfromher，andbegangailytalkingtotheotherlady。
　　`Yes，thereissomethinguncanny，devilishandcharmingabouther，’saidKittytoherself。
　　Annadidnotwanttostayforsupper，butthemasterofthehousebeganurgingher。
　　`Nonsense，AnnaArkadyevna，’saidKorsunskyplacingherbarehanduponhiscoatsleeve。`I’vesuchanideaforacotillon！Unbijou！’
　　Andhemovedgraduallyon，tryingtodrawheralongwithhim。
　　Theirhostsmiledapprovingly。
　　`No，I’mnotgoingtostay，’answeredAnna，smiling，but，inspiteofhersmile，bothKorsunskyandthemasterofthehousesawfromherresolutetonethatshewouldnotstay。
　　`No；why，asitis，IhavedancedmoreatyourballinMoscowthanIhaveallthewinterinPeterburg，’saidAnna，lookingroundatVronsky，whostoodnearher。`Imustrestalittlebeforemyjourney。’
　　`Areyoudefinitelygoingtomorrowthen？’askedVronsky。
　　`Yes，Isupposeso，’answeredAnna，asthoughwonderingattheboldnessofhisquestion；buttheirrepressible，quiveringbrillianceofhereyesandhersmilesethimonfireasshesaidit。
　　AnnaArkadyevnadidnotstaytosupper，butwenthome。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter24[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter24`Yes，theremustbesomethingdisgusting，repulsiveaboutme，’reflectedLevin，ashelefttheShcherbatsky’s，andsetoutonfootforhisbrother’slodgings。`AndIdon’tgetonwithotherpeople。Pride，theysay。No，I
　　haven’tevenpride。IfIhadanypride，Ishouldnothaveputmyselfinsuchaposition。’AndhepicturedtohimselfVronsky，happy，good-natured，cleverandcalm-certainlyneverplacedintheawfulpositioninwhichhehadbeenthatevening。`Yes，shewasboundtochoosehim。Itmustbeso，andIcannotcomplainofanyoneoranything。Iammyselftoblame。
　　WhatrighthadItoimagineshewouldcaretojoinherlifetomine？WhoamI，andwhatamI？Anobody，notwantedbyanyone，norofusetoanybody。’
　　AndherecalledhisbrotherNikolai，anddweltwithpleasureonthethoughtofhim。`Isn’therightinsayingthateverythingintheworldisbadandvile？Andarewefairinourjudgment，presentandpast，ofbrotherNikolai？
　　Ofcourse，fromthepointofviewofProcophii，seeinghiminatorncloakandtipsy，he’sadespicableperson。ButIknowhimdifferently。Iknowhissoul，andknowthatwearealike。AndI，insteadofgoingtoseekhimout，wentouttodinner，andthencamehere。’Levinwalkeduptoalamppost，readhisbrother’saddress，whichwasinhispocketbook，andcalledacabby。
　　Allthelongwaytohisbrother’sLevinvividlyrecalledallthefacts，familiartohim，ofhisbrotherNikolai’slife。Herememberedhowhisbrother，whileattheuniversity，andforayearafterward，had，inspiteofthejeersofhiscompanions，livedlikeamonk，strictlyobservingallreligiousrites，servicesandfasts，andavoidingeverysortofpleasure-especiallywomen。Andnow，afterward，hehadallatoncebrokenout:hadassociatedwiththemosthorriblepeople，andrushedintothemostsenselessdebauchery。
　　Herememberedlaterthescandaloveraboy，whomhehadtakenfromthecountrytobringup，and，inafitofrage，hadsoviolentlybeatenthatproceedingswerebroughtagainsthimforpersonalinjury。Thenherememberedthescandalwithasharper，towhomhehadlostmoney，andgivenapromissorynote，andagainstwhomhehadhimselflodgedacomplaint，assertingthathehadcheatedhim。ThiswasthemoneySergeiIvanovichhadpaid。Thenherememberedhowhehadspentanightinapolicestationfordisorderlyconductinthestreet。HerememberedtheshamefulproceedingshehadinstitutedagainsthisbrotherSergeiIvanovich，accusinghimofnothavingpaidhim，apparently，hisshareofhismother’sestate；andthelastscandal，whenhehadgonetoaWesternprovinceinanofficialcapacity，andtherehadgotintotroubleforassaultingavillageelder……Itwasallhorriblyvile，yettoLevinitappearednotatallasvileasitinevitablywouldtothosewhodidnotknowNikolai，didnotknowallhisstory，didnotknowhisheart。
　　LevinrememberedthatwhenNikolaihadbeeninthedevoutstage，theperiodoffastsandmonksandchurchservices，whenhewasseekinginreligionasupportandacurbforhispassionatetemperament，everyone，farfromencouraginghim，hadjeeredathim-andLevinhad，too，withtheothers。Theyhadteasedhim，callinghimNoahandMonk；yet，whenhehadbrokenout，noonehadhelpedhim，buthadallturnedawayfromhim，withhorrorandloathing。
　　LevinfeltthatbrotherNikolai，inspiteofalltheuglinessofhislife，inhissoul，intheverydepthsofhissoul，wasnomoreinthewrongthanthepeoplewhodespisedhim。Hewasnottoblameforhavingbeenbornwithhisunbridledcharacterandsomepressureuponhisintellect。
　　Forhehadalwayswantedtobegood。`Iwilltellhimeverything，withoutreserve，andIwillmakehimspeakwithoutreserve，too，andI’llshowhimthatIlovehim，andthereforeunderstandhim，’Levinresolvedtohimself，as，towardeleveno’clock，hereachedthehotelofwhichhehadtheaddress。
　　`Atthetop，twelveandthirteen，’theporteransweredLevin’sinquiry。
　　`Athome？’
　　`Probablyheisathome。’
　　ThedoorofNo。12washalfopen，and，togetherwithastreakoflight，thereissuedthickfumesofcheap，poortobacco，andthesoundofavoice，unknowntoLevin；butheknewatoncethathisbrotherwasthere:herecognizedhiscough。
　　Ashewentinatthedoor，theunknownvoicewassaying:
　　`Italldependswithhowmuchjudgmentandknowledgethething’sdone。’
　　KonstantinLevinlookedinatthedoor，andsawthatthespeakerwasayoungmanwithanimmenseshockofhair，wearingaRussiancoat，andthatapock-markedyoungwomaninawoollengown，withoutcollarorcuffs，wassittingonthesofa。Hisbrotherwasnottobeseen。Konstantinfeltasharppangathisheartatthethoughtofthestrangecompanyinwhichhisbrotherspenthislife。Noonehadheardhim，andKonstantin，takingoffhisgaloshes，listenedtowhatthegentlemanintheRussiancoatwassaying。Hewasspeakingofsomeenterprise。
　　`Well，thedevilflaythem，theseprivilegedclasses，’hisbrother’svoiceresponded，withacough。`Masha！getussomesupper，andserveupsomewine，ifthere’sanyleft；orelsesendforsome。’
　　Thewomanrose，cameoutfrombehindthepartition，andsawKonstantin。
　　`There’ssomegentlemanhere，NikolaiDmitrievich，’shesaid。
　　`Whomdoyouwant？’saidthevoiceofNikolaiLevin，angrily。
　　`It’sI，’answeredKonstantinLevin，comingforwardintothelight。
　　`Who’sI？’Nikolai’svoicesaidagain，stillmoreangrily。Hecouldbeheardgettinguphurriedly，stumblingagainstsomething，andLevinsaw，facinghiminthedoorway，thebigscaredeyes，andthehuge，gaunt，stoopingfigureofhisbrother，sofamiliar，andyetastonishinginitsoddityandsickliness。
　　Hewaseventhinnerthanthreeyearsbefore，whenKonstantinLevinhadseenhimlast。Hewaswearingashortcoat，andhishandsandbigbonesseemedhugerthanever。Hishairhadgrownthinner，thesamestraightmustachehidhislips，thesameeyesgazedstrangelyandnaivelyathisvisitor。
　　`Ah，Kostia！’heexclaimedsuddenly，recognizinghisbrother，andhiseyeslightedupwithjoy。Butthesamesecondhelookedroundattheyoungman，andgavethenervousjerkofhisheadandneckthatKonstantinknewsowell，asifhiscravatwerechokinghim；andaquitedifferentexpression-wild，sufferingandcruel-restedonhisemaciatedface。
　　`IwrotetoyouandSergeiIvanovichboththatIdon’tknowyou，anddon’twanttoknowyou。Whatisityouwant？’
　　HewasnotatallthesameasKonstantinhadbeenfancyinghim。
　　Theworstandmostoppressivepartofhischaracter，whichmadeallrelationswithhimsodifficult，hadbeenforgottenbyKonstantinLevinwhenhethoughtofhim；andnow，whenhesawhisface，andespeciallythatnervoustwitchingofhishead，heremembereditall。
　　`Ididn’twanttoseeyouforanything，’heansweredtimidly。
　　`I’vesimplycometoseeyou。’
　　Hisbrother’stimidityobviouslysoftenedNikolai。Hislipstwitched。
　　`Oh，sothat’sit？’hesaid。`Well，comein；sitdown。Likesomesupper？Masha，bringsupperforthree。No，stopaminute。Doyouknowwhothisis？’hesaid，addressinghisbrother，andindicatingthegentlemanintheRussiancoat:`ThisisMr。Kritsky，afriendofmyKievdays-averyremarkableman。He’spersecutedbythepolice，ofcourse，sincehe’snotascoundrel。’
　　Andhesurveyed，asitwasahabitofhis，everyoneintheroom。
　　Seeingthatthewomanstandinginthedoorwaywasstartingtogo，heshoutedtoher。`Waitaminute，Isaid。’Andwiththatinabilitytoexpresshimself，theincoherencethatKonstantinknewsowell，hebegan，withanotherlookroundateveryone，totellKritsky’sstorytohisbrother:howhehadbeenexpelledfromtheuniversityforstartingabenevolentsocietyforthepoorstudents，andclassesonSunday，andhowhehadafterwardbeenateacherinaruralschool，andhadbeendrivenoutofthat，too；andhadafterwardbeenontrialforsomethingorother。
　　`You’reoftheKievUniversity？’saidKonstantinLevintoKritsky，tobreaktheawkwardsilencethatfollowed。
　　`Yes-IwasinKiev，’Kritskyrepliedangrily，hisfacedarkening。
　　`Andthiswoman，’NikolaiLevininterruptedhim，pointingtoher，`ismylifemate，MaryaNikolaevna。Itookheroutofadive，andhejerkedhisneckashesaidit。`ButIloveherandrespecther，andanyonewhowantstoknowme，’headded，raisinghisvoiceandknittinghisbrows，`isrequestedtoloveherandrespecther。She’spreciselythesameasawifetome-precisely。Sonowyouknowwhomyou’vegottodowith。Andifyouthinkyou’reloweringyourself-well，there’sthedoor，andGodspeedthee！’
　　Andagainhiseyestraveledinquiringlyoverallofthem。
　　`ButhowwillIlowermyself？Idon’tunderstand。’
　　`Then，Masha，tellthemtobringsupper；threeportions，andvodkaandwine……No，waitaminute……No，itdoesn’tmatter……Goahead。’
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter25[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter25`Soyousee，’pursuedNikolaiLevin，painfullywrinklinghisforeheadandtwitching。
　　Itwasobviouslydifficultforhimtothinkofwhattosayanddo。
　　`Here，doyousee？……Hepointedtosomesortofshortironbars，fastenedtogetherwithtwine，lyinginacorneroftheroom。`Doyouseethat？That’sthebeginningofanewenterprisewe’regoinginto。Thisenterprisewillbeanindustrialassociation……’
　　Konstantinscarcelyheardhim。Helookedintohissickly，consumptiveface，andhewasmoreandmoresorryforhim，andhecouldnotforcehimselftolistentowhathisbrotherwastellinghimabouttheassociation。Hesawthatthisassociationwasamereanchortosavehimfromself-contempt。
　　NikolaiLevinwentontalking:
　　`Youknowthatcapitaloppressestheworker。Ourworkers，themouzhiks，bearalltheburdenoflabor，andaresoplacedthat，nomatterhowmuchtheywork，theycan’tescapefromtheirpositionofbeastsofburden。Alltheprofitsoflabor，onwhichtheymightimprovetheirposition，andgainleisureforthemselves，andafterthateducation-allthesurplusvalues，aretakenfromthembythecapitalists。Andsocietyissoconstitutedthatthehardertheywork，thegreatertheprofitofthemerchantsandlandowners，whiletheystaybeastsofburdentotheend。Andthatstateofthingsmustbechanged，’hefinishedup，andlookedquestioninglyathisbrother。
　　`Yes，ofcourse，’saidKonstantin，lookingatthepatchofredthathadcomeoutonhisbrother’sprojectingcheekbones。
　　`Andsowe’refoundingalocksmith’sassociation，wherealltheproductionandprofit，andthechiefinstrumentsofproduction-everything-willbeincommon。’
　　`Whereistheassociationtobe？’askedKonstantinLevin。
　　`InthevillageofVozdrem，governmentofKazan。’
　　`Butwhyinavillage？Inthevillages，Ithink，thereisplentyofworkasitis。Whyalocksmith’sassociationinavillage？’
　　`Why？Becausethepeasantsarejustasmuchslavesastheyeverwere，andthat’swhyyouandSergeiIvanovichdon’tlikepeopletotryandgetthemoutoftheirslavery，’saidNikolaiLevin，exasperatedbytheobjection。
　　KonstantinLevinsighed，lookingmeanwhileaboutthecheerlessanddirtyroom。ThissighseemedtoexasperateNikolaistillmore。
　　`IknowSergeiIvanovich’s，andyour，aristocraticviews。Iknowthatheappliesallthepowerofhisintellecttojustifyexistingevils。’
　　`Isay，whydoyoutalkofSergeiIvanovich？’Levinletdrop，smiling。
　　`SergeiIvanovich？I’lltellyouwhy！’NikolaiLevinshriekedsuddenlyatthenameofSergeiIvanovich。`I’lltellyouwhy……Butwhat’stheuseoftalking？There’sonlyonething……Whatdidyoucometomefor？
　　Youlookdownonallthis；verywell，then；butgoaway，inGod’sname-goaway！’heshrieked，gettingupfromhischair。`Goaway-goaway！’
　　`Idon’tlookdownonitatall，’saidKonstantinLevintimidly。
　　`Idon’tevendisputeit。’
　　AtthatinstantMaryaNikolaevnacameback。NikolaiLevinlookedroundangrilyather。Shewentquicklytohim，andwhisperedsomething。
　　`I’mnotwell；I’vegrownirritable，’saidNikolaiLevin，gettingcalmerandbreathingpainfully；`andthenyoutalktomeofSergeiIvanovichandhisessay。It’ssuchrubbish，suchlying，suchself-deception！Whatcanamanwriteaboutjusticewhoknowsnothingofit？Haveyoureadhisessay？’heturnedtoKritsky，sittingdownagainatthetable，andclearingaspaceforhimselfbypushingbacksomehalf-madecigarettes。
　　`Ihaven’t，’Kritskyrespondedgloomily，obviouslynotdesiringtoenterintotheconversation。
　　`Whynot？’saidNikolaiLevin，nowturningwithexasperationuponKritsky。
　　`BecauseIdidn’tseetheuseofwastingmytimeoverit。’
　　`Oh，ifyouplease-howdidyouknowitwouldbewastingyourtime？Thatessay’stoodeepformanypeople-thatistosay，it’sovertheirheads。Butit’sdifferentwithme，Iseethroughhisideas，andI
　　knowwhereintheessay’sweaknesslies。’
　　Theyallfellsilent。Kritskygotupsluggishlyandreachedforhiscap。
　　`Won’tyouhavesupper？Allright，good-by！Comeroundtomorrowwiththelocksmith。’
　　KritskyhadhardlygoneoutwhenNikolaiLevinsmiledandwinked。
　　`He，too，ispoorstuff，’hesaid。`ForIcansee……’
　　ButatthatinstantKritsky，atthedoor，calledhim。
　　`Whatdoyouwantnow？’hesaid，andwentouttohiminthepassage。
　　LeftalonewithMaryaNikolaevna，Levinturnedtoher。
　　`Haveyoubeenlongwithmybrother？’hesaidtoher。
　　`Yes，morethanayear。Hishealthhasbecomeverypoor。Hedrinksagreatdeal，’shesaid。
　　`Justhow？’
　　`Hedrinksvodka，andit’sbadforhim。’
　　`Andagreatdeal？’whisperedLevin。
　　`Yes，’shesaid，lookingtimidlytowardthedoorway，whereNikolaiLevinhadreappeared。
　　`Whatwereyoutalkingabout？’hesaid，knittinghisbrows，andturninghisscaredeyesfromonetotheother。`Whatwasit？’
　　`Oh，nothing，’Konstantinansweredinconfusion。
　　`Oh，ifyoudon’twanttosay，don’t。Onlyit’snogoodyourtalkingtoher。She’sawench，andyou’reagentleman，’hesaid，withajerkoftheneck。`Youunderstandeverything，Isee，andhavetakenstockofeverything，andlookwithcommiserationonmytransgressions，’hebeganagain，raisinghisvoice。
　　`NikolaiDmitrich，NikolaiDmitrich，’whisperedMaryaNikolaevna，againgoinguptohim。
　　`Oh，verywell，verywell！……Butwhere’sthesupper？Ah，hereitis，’hesaid，seeingawaiterwithatray。`Here，setithere，’headdedangrily，andpromptlyseizingthevodka，hepouredoutaponyanddrankitgreedily。`Likeadrink？’heturnedtohisbrother，andatoncebecamebetter-humored。`Well，enoughofSergeiIvanovich。I’mgladtoseeyou，anyway。Afterall’ssaidanddone，we’renotstrangers。Come，haveadrink。
　　Tellmewhatyou’redoing，’hewenton，greedilymunchingapieceofbread，andpouringoutanotherpony。`Howarethingswithyou？’
　　`Ilivealoneinthecountry，asIalwayshave。I’mbusylookingaftertheland，’answeredKonstantin，watchingwithhorrorthegreedinesswithwhichhisbrotherateanddrank，andtryingtoconcealthathenoticedit。
　　`Whydon’tyougetmarried？’
　　`Noopportunityhaspresenteditself，’Konstantinanswered，reddening。
　　`Whynot？Formenow，everything’satanend！I’vemadeamessofmylife。ButthisI’vesaid，andIsaystill，thatifmysharehadbeengivenmewhenIneededit，mywholelifewouldhavebeendifferent。’
　　Konstantinmadehastetochangetheconversation。
　　`DoyouknowyourlittleVania’swithme-aclerkinthecountinghouseatPokrovskoe？’
　　Nikolaijerkedhisneck，andsankintothought。
　　`Yes，tellmewhat’sgoingonatPokrovskoe。Isthehousestillstanding，andthebirchtrees，andourschoolroom？AndPhilipthegardener-isheliving？HowIrememberthesummerhouseandthesofa！Nowmindanddon’talteranythinginthehouse，butmakehasteandgetmarried，andmakeeverythingasitusedtobeagain。ThenI’llcomeandseeyou，ifyourwifeisafinewoman。’
　　`Why，cometomenow，’saidLevin。`Howsnuglywecouldsettledown！’
　　`I’dcomeandseeyouifIweresureIshouldn’tfindSergeiIvanovich。’
　　`Youwouldn’tfindhimthere。Ilivequiteindependentlyofhim。’
　　`Yes，butsaywhatyoulike，youhavetochoosebetweenmeandhim，’hesaid，lookingtimidlyintohisbrother’sface。
　　ThistimiditytouchedKonstantin。
　　`Ifyouwanttohearmyconfessionoffaithonthesubject，I
　　tellyouthatinyourquarrelwithSergeiIvanovichItakeneitherside。
　　You’rebothwrong。You’reratherwrongoutwardly，andhe，ratherinwardly。’
　　`Ah，ah！Youseethat，youseethat！’Nikolaishoutedjoyfully。
　　`ButIpersonallyvaluefriendlyrelationswithyoumorebecause……’
　　`Why，why？’
　　KonstantincouldnotsaythathevalueditmorebecauseNikolaiwasunhappy，andneededaffection。ButNikolaiknewthatthiswasjustwhathemeanttosay，andscowlinghetooktothevodkaagain。
　　`Enough，NikolaiDmitrich！’saidMaryaNikolaevna，stretchingoutherplump，barearmtowardthedecanter。
　　`Letitbe！Don’tannoyme！I’llbeatyou！’heshouted。
　　MaryaNikolaevnasmiledasweetandgood-humoredsmile，whichwasatoncereflectedonNikolai’sface，andwhiskedthedecanteroff。
　　`Anddoyousupposesheunderstandsnothing？’saidNikolai。`Sheunderstandseverythingbetterthanallofus。Tellthetruth-isn’ttheresomethinggoodandsweetabouther？’
　　`WereyouneverbeforeinMoscow？’Konstantinsaidtoher，forthesakeofsayingsomething。
　　`Onlyyoumustn’tbeformalwithher。Itfrightensher。Nooneeverspoketohersobutthejusticeofthepeacewhotriedherfortryingtogetoutofahouseofillfame。MyGod，whatsenselessnessthereisinthisworld！’hecriedsuddenly。`Thesenewinstitutions，thesejusticesofthepeace，theseZemstvo-whathideousnessitallis！’
　　Andhebegantoenlargeonhisencounterswiththenewinstitutions。
　　KonstantinLevinlistenedtohim，andthatdisbeliefinthesenseofallpublicinstitutions，whichhesharedwithhim，andoftenexpressed，wasnowdistastefultohim，comingfromhisbrother’slips。
　　`Intheotherworldweshallunderstanditall，’hesaidlightly。
　　`Intheotherworld？Ah，Idon’tlikethatotherworld！Idon’tlikeit，’hesaid，lettinghisscaredwildeyesrestonhisbrother’sface。
　　`Hereonewouldthinkthattogetoutofallthebasenessandthemess，one’sownandotherpeople’s，wouldbeagoodthing，andyetI’mafraidofdeath，awfullyafraidofdeath。’Heshuddered。`Butdodrinksomething。
　　Wouldyoulikesomechampagne？Orshallwegosomewhere？Let’sgotothegypsies！Doyouknow，I’vegottenveryfondofthegypsies，andofRussiansongs。’
　　Hisspeechhadbeguntofalter，andheskippedatrandomfromonesubjecttoanother。Konstantin，withthehelpofMasha，persuadedhimnottogooutanywhere，andgothimtobedhopelesslydrunk。
　　MashapromisedtowritetoKonstantinincaseofneed，andtopersuadeNikolaitogoandstaywithhisbrother。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter26[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter26InthemorningKonstantinLevinleftMoscow，andtowardeveninghereachedhome。Onthejourneyinthetrainhetalkedtohisfellowtravelersaboutpoliticsandthenewrailways，and，justasinMoscow，hewasovercomebyasenseofconfusionofideas，bydissatisfactionwithhimself，andshameofsomethingorother。Butwhenhegotoutathisownstation，whenhesawhisone-eyedcoachmanIgnat，withthecollarofhiscoatturnedup；when，inthedimlightfallingthroughthestationwindows，hesawhisowncarpetedsledge，hisownhorseswiththeirtailsup，intheirharnesstrimmedwithringsandtassels；whenthecoachmanIgnat，asheputinhisluggage，toldhimthevillagenews-thatthecontractorhadarrived，andthatPavahadcalved-hefeltthatlittlebylittletheconfusionwasclearingup，andtheshameandself-dissatisfactionwerepassingaway。
　　HefeltthisatthemeresightofIgnatandthehorses；buthebegantoseewhathadhappenedtohiminquiteadifferentlight，whenhehadputonthesheepskincoatbroughtforhim，and，allmuffledup，hadtakenhisseatinthesleighandstartedoff，ponderingontheworkthatlaybeforehiminthevillage，andstaringattheoffhorse，thathadbeenformerlyhissaddlehorse，overridden，butaspiritedanimalfromtheDon。Hefelthimself，anddidnotwanttobeanyoneelse。Allhewantednowwastobebetterthanbefore。Inthefirstplace，heresolvedthatfromthatdayonhewouldgiveuphopingfortheextraordinaryhappinesswhichthemarriagewastoaffordhim，andconsequentlyhewouldnotdisdainthepresentso。
　　Inthesecondplace，hewouldneveragainlethimselfgivewaytolowpassion，thememoryofwhichhadsotorturedhimwhenhehadbeenmakinguphismindtopropose。Then，rememberinghisbrotherNikolai，heresolvedthathewouldneverallowhimselftoforgethim，thathewouldwatchhim，andnotlosesightofhim，soastobereadytohelpshouldthingsgoillwithhim。Andthatwouldbesoon，hefelt。Then，too，hisbrother’stalkofcommunism，whichhehadtreatedsolightlyatthetime，nowmadehimreflect。
　　Heconsideredanalterationineconomicconditionsnonsense；yethehadalwaysfelttheinjusticeofhisownabundanceincomparisonwiththepovertyofthecommonfolk，andhenowdeterminedthat，inordertofeelquiteintheright，thoughhehadworkedhardandlivedbynomeansluxuriouslybefore，hewouldnowworkstillharder，andwouldallowhimselfevenlessluxury。Andallthisseemedtohimsoeasyaconquestoverhimselfthathespentthewholedriveinmostpleasantreveries。Withalivelyfeelingofhopeinanew，betterlife，hedroveuptohishouseaboutnineo’clockatnight。
　　Thesnowofthelittlequadranglebeforethehousewaslitupbylightfallingfromthewindowsintheroomofhisoldnurse，AgathyaMikhailovna，whoperformedthedutiesofhousekeeperinhishouse。Shewasnotyetasleep。Kouzma，awakenedbyher，sleepyandbarefooted，ranoutontothesteps。Asetterbitch，Laska，leapedouttoo，almostupsettingKouzma，andwhining，rubbedagainstLevin’sknees，jumpingupandlonging，yetnotdaring，toputherforepawsonhischest。
　　`You’resoonreturned，mydear，’saidAgathyaMikhailovna。
　　`Igrewhomesick，AgathyaMikhailovna。EastorWest，homeisbest，’
　　heanswered，andwentintohisstudy。
　　Thestudywasgraduallylitupasthecandlewasbroughtin。Thefamiliardetailscameout:thestag’shorns；thebookshelves；theplainstovewithitswarm-hole，whichhadlongwantedmending；hisfather’ssofa，alargetable，and，onthetable，anopenbook，abrokenashtray，anotebookwithhishandwriting。Ashesawallthis，therecameoverhimforaninstantadoubtofthepossibilityofarrangingthenewlife，ofwhichhehadbeendreamingontheroad。Allthesetracesofhislifeseemedtoclutchhim，andtosaytohim:`No，you’renotgoingtogetawayfromus，andyou’renotgoingtobedifferent-butyou’regoingtobethesameasyou’vealwaysbeen:withdoubts，everlastingdissatisfactionwithyourself，vaineffortstoamend，andlapses，andeverlastingexpectationofahappinesswhichyouwon’tget，andwhichisn’tpossibleforyou。’
　　Butitwashisthingsthatsaidthistohim，whileanothervoiceinhisheartwastellinghimthathemustnotfallundertheswayofthepast，andthatonecandoanythingwithoneself。Andhearingthatvoice，hewentintothecornerwherestoodhistwodumbbells，ofonepoodeach，andbeganjerkingandpushingthemup，tryingtoinduceastateofwell-being。
　　Therewasacreakofstepsatthedoor。Hehastilyputdownthedumbbells。
　　Thebailiffcamein，andsaidthateverything，thankGod，waswell，butalsoinformedhimthatthebuckwheatinthenewdryingmachinehadbeenalittlescorched。ThispieceofnewsirritatedLevin。ThenewdryingmachinehadbeenconstructedandpartlyinventedbyLevin。Thebailiffhadalwaysbeenagainstthisdryingmachine，andnowitwaswithsuppressedtriumphthatheannouncedthatthebuckwheathadbeenscorched。Levinwasfirmlyconvincedthatifthebuckwheathadbeenscorcheditwasonlybecauseprecautionshadnotbeentaken，forwhichhehadhundredsoftimesgivenorders。Hewasannoyed，andreprimandedthebailiff。Buttherehadbeenanimportantandjoyfulevent:Pava，hisbestcow，anexpensivebeast，boughtatashow，hadcalved。
　　`Kouzma，givememysheepskincoat。Andyou，dotellthemtofetchalantern-I’mgoingtohavealookather，’hesaidtothebailiff。
　　Thecowhouseforthemorevaluablecowswasjustbehindthehouse。
　　Walkingacrosstheyard，passingasnowdriftbythelilactree，hewentintothecowhouse。Therecameawarm，steamysmellofdungwhenthefrozendoorwasopened，andthecows，astonishedattheunfamiliarlightofthelantern，stirredontheirfreshstraw。Hecaughtaglimpseofthebroad，smooth，blackandpiebaldbackofaDutchcow。Berkoot，thebull，waslyingdownwithhisringinhislip，andseemedabouttogetup，butthoughtbetterofit，andonlygavetwosnortsastheypassedbyhim。Pava，thereddishbeauty，hugeasahippopotamus，withherbackturnedtothem，screenedhercalffromthearrivalsandsniffeditallover。
　　Levinwentintothestall，lookedPavaover，andheftedthereddishandred-dappledcalfuponitsunsteady，spindlylegs。Pava，uneasy，beganlowing，butwhenLevinputthecalfclosetohershewassoothed，and，sighingheavily，beganlickingherwithherroughtongue。Thecalffumbling，pokeditsnoseunderitsmother’sgroin，andtwirleditstinytail。
　　`Bringthelighthere，Fiodor-bringthelanternhere，’saidLevin，examiningtheheifer。`Likethedam！thoughthecolortakesafterthesire。Aperfectbeauty！Long，andbroadinthehaunch。Isn’tsheabeautynow，VassiliiFiodorovich？’headdressedthebailiff，quiteforgivinghimforthebuckwheatundertheinfluenceofhisdelightintheheifer。
　　`Whatbadbloodcouldshetakeafter？-Semionthecontractorcamethedayafteryouleft。Youmustsettlewithhim，KonstantinDmitrich，’
　　saidthebailiff。`AndIhavealreadytoldyouaboutthemachine。’
　　ThismatteralonewasenoughtobringLevinbacktoallthedetailsofhisestate，whichwasonalargescale，andcomplicated。Hewentstraightfromthecowhousetothecountinghouse，and，afterashorttalkwiththebailiffandSemionthecontractor，hewentbacktothehouseandstraightupstairstothedrawingroom。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter27[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter27Thehousewasbigandold-fashioned，andLevin，thoughhelivedalone，heatedandusedthewholehouse。Heknewthatthiswasstupid，heknewthatitwasevenwrong，andcontrarytohispresentnewplans，butthishousewasawholeworldtoLevin。Itwastheworldinwhichhisfatherandmotherhadlivedanddied。TheyhadlivedjustthelifethattoLevinseemedtheidealofperfection，andthathehaddreamedofrenewingwithhiswife，withhisfamily。
　　Levinscarcelyrememberedhismother。Hisconceptionofherwasforhimasacredmemory，andhisfuturewifewasboundtobe，inhisimagination，arepetitionofthatexquisite，holyidealofawomanthathismotherhadbeen。
　　Hewassofarfromconceivingofloveforwomanapartfrommarriagethathepositivelypicturedtohimselffirstthefamily，andonlysecondarilythewomanwhowouldgivehimafamily。Hisideasofmarriagewere，consequently，quiteunlikethoseofthegreatmajorityofhisacquaintances，forwhomgettingmarriedwasmerelyoneofthemanyaffairsofeverydaylife。ForLevinitwasthechiefaffairoflife，onwhichitswholehappinessturned。
　　Andnowhehadtogiveupthat！
　　Whenhehadgoneintotheseconddrawingroom，wherehealwayshadtea，andhadsettledhimselfinhisarmchairwithabook，andAgathyaMikhailovnahadbroughthimtea，andwithherusual，`Well，I’llstayawhile，mydear，’hadtakenachairatthewindow，hefeltthat，howeverstrangeitmightbe，hehadnotpartedfromhisdaydreams，andthathecouldnotlivewithoutthem。Whetherwithher，orwithanother-itwasstillboundtobe。Hewasreadinghisbook，ponderingonwhathewasreading，andpausingtolistentoAgathyaMikhailovna，whogossipedawaywithoutflagging，andyet，withallthat，allsortsofpicturesofhisworkandafuturefamilyliferosedisconnectedlybeforehisimagination。Hefeltthatinthedepthofhissoulsomethingwassteadying，settlingdown，andabating。
　　HeheardAgathyaMikhailovnatalkingofhowProkhorhadforgottenhisdutytoGod，and，withthemoneyLevinhadgivenhimtobuyahorse，hadbeendrinkingwithoutaletup，andhadbeatenhiswifetillhe’dhalf-killedher。Helistened，andreadhisbook，andrecalledthewholetrainofideassuggestedbyhisreading。ItwasTyndall’sTreatiseonHeat。HerecalledhisowncriticismsofTyndallforhisself-complacencyintheclevernessofhisexperiments，andforhislackofphilosophicinsight。Andsuddenlytherefloatedintohismindthejoyfulthought:`Intwoyear’stimeIshallhavetwoDutchcowsinmyherd；Pavaherselfwillperhapsstillbealive；
　　adozenyoungdaughtersofBerkoot，andthesethreeaddedforshow-itwouldbemarvelous！’Hetookuphisbookagain。`Nowwell，electricityandheatarethesamething；butisitpossibletosubstituteonequantityfortheotherinanequationforthesolutionofanyproblem？No。Well，thenwhatofit？Theconnectionbetweenalltheforcesofnatureisfeltinstinctively，anyway……It’llbeparticularlypleasantwhenPava’sdaughterwillbeared-dappledcowlikealltheherd，towhichtheotherthreeshouldbeadded！Splendid！I’llgooutwithmywifeandvisitorstomeettheherd……
　　Mywifesays，``KostiaandIlookedafterthatheiferlikeachild。’’``Howcanitinterestyousomuch？’’saysavisitor。``Everythingthatinterestshim，interestsme。’’Butwhowillshebe？’AndherememberedwhathadhappenedatMoscow……`Well，there’snothingtobedone……It’snotmyfault。
　　Butnoweverythingshallgooninanewway。It’snonsensetopretendthatlifewon’tletone，thatthepastwon’tletone。Onemuststruggletolivebetter-farbetter……’Heraisedhishead，andsankintothought。OldLaska，whohadnotyetfullydigestedherdelightathisreturn，andhadrunoutintotheyardtobark，camebackwagginghertail，andcreptuptohim，bringinginthescentofthefreshair，putherheadunderhishand，andyelpedplaintively，askingtobestroked。
　　`Ifshecouldbutspeak，’saidAgathyaMikhailovna。`Eventhoughit’sadog……Yetsheunderstandsthathermaster’scomehome，andthathe’slow-spirited。’
　　`Whylow-spirited？’
　　`DoyousupposeIdon’tseeit，mydear？It’shightimeIshouldknowthegentlefolk。Why，I’vegrownupfromalittlethingwiththem。
　　Nevermind，sir，solongasonehashealthandaclearconscience。’
　　Levinlookedintentlyather，surprisedathowwellshehadfathomedhisthoughts。
　　`ShallIfetchyouanothercup？’sheaskedand，takinghiscup，wentout。
　　Laskakeptpokingherheadunderhishand。Hestrokedher，andshepromptlycurledupathisfeet，layingherheadonaprotrudinghand-paw。
　　Andintokenofallnowbeingwellandsatisfactory，sheopenedhermouthalittle，smackedherlips，andsettlingherstickylipsmorecomfortablyaboutheroldteeth，shesankintoblissfulrespose。Levinwatchedherlastmovementsattentively。
　　`That’swhatI’lldo，’hesaidtohimself；`that’swhatI’lldo！
　　Nevermind……All’swell。’
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　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter28[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter28Aftertheball，earlynextmorning，AnnaArkadyevnasentherhusbandatelegramthatshewasleavingMoscowthesameday。
　　`No，Imustgo，Imustgo’；sheexplainedthechangeinherplanstohersister-in-law，inatonethatsuggestedthatshehadtoremembersomanythingsthattherewasnoenumeratingthem:`no，really，ithadbetterbetoday！’
　　StepanArkadyevichwasnotdiningathome，buthepromisedtocomeandseehissisteroffatseveno’clock。
　　Kitty，too，didnotcome，sendinganotethatshehadaheadache。
　　DollyandAnnadinedalonewiththechildrenandtheEnglishgoverness。
　　Whetheritwasbecausechildrenarefickle，orbecausetheyhaveacutesenses，andtheyfeltthatAnnawasquitedifferentthatdayfromwhatshehadbeenwhentheyhadtakensuchafancytoher，thatshewasnotnowinterestedinthem-theyhadabruptlydroppedtheirplaywiththeiraunt，andtheirloveforher，andwerequiteindifferenttoherleaving。
　　Annawasabsorbedthewholemorninginpreparationsforherdeparture。
　　ShewrotenotestoherMoscowacquaintances，jotteddownheraccounts，andpacked。AltogetherDollyfanciedshewasnotinaplacidstateofmind，butinthatworriedmoodwhichDollyknewsowellinherowncase，andwhichdoesnotcomewithoutcause，andforthemostpartcoversdissatisfactionwithoneself。Afterdinner，Annawentuptoherroomtodress，andDollyfollowedher。
　　`Howqueeryouaretoday！’Dollysaidtoher。
　　`I？Doyouthinkso？I’mnotqueer，butI’mnasty。Iamlikethatsometimes。IkeepfeelingasifIcouldcry。It’sverystupid，butit’llpassoff，’saidAnnaquickly，andshebentherflushedfaceoveratinybaginwhichshewaspackinganightcapandsomecambrichandkerchiefs。
　　Hereyeswereparticularlybright，andwerecontinuallydimmedwithtears。
　　`InthesamewayIdidn’twanttoleavePeterburg-andnowIdon’twanttogoawayfromhere。’
　　`Youcamehereanddidagooddeed，’saidDolly，lookingintentlyather。
　　Anna’seyeswerewetwithtearsasshelookedather。
　　`Don’tsaythat，Dolly。I’vedonenothing，andcoulddonothing。
　　Ioftenwonderwhypeopleareallinleaguetospoilme。WhathaveIdone，andwhatcouldIdo？Inyourhearttherewasfoundloveenoughtoforgive……’
　　Ifithadnotbeenforyou，Godknowswhatwouldhavehappened！
　　Howhappyyouare，Anna！’saidDolly。`Everythingisclearandgoodinyourheart。’
　　`Everyhearthasitsownskeleton，astheEnglishsay。’
　　`Youhavenosortofskeleton，haveyou？Everythingissoclearinyou。’
　　`Ihave！’saidAnnasuddenly，and，unexpectedlyafterhertears，asly，mockingsmilepuckeredherlips。
　　`Come，he’samusing，anyway，yourskeleton，andnotdepressing，’
　　saidDolly，smiling。
　　`No，heisdepressing。DoyouknowwhyI’mgoingtodayinsteadoftomorrow？Thisisaconfessionthatweighsonme；Iwanttomakeyouitsrecipient，’saidAnnaresolutelylettingherselfdropintoanarmchair，andlookingstraightintoDolly’sface。
　　AndtohersurpriseDollysawthatAnnawasblushinguptoherears，uptothecurlyblackringletsonherneck。
　　`Yes，’Annawenton。`DoyouknowwhyKittydidn’tcometodinner？
　　She’sjealousofme。Ihavespoiled……I’vebeenthecauseofthatballbeingatorturetoherinsteadofapleasure。Buttruly，truly，it’snotmyfault，oronlymyfaultalittlebit，’shesaid，daintilydrawlingthewords`alittlebit。’
　　`Oh，howlikeStivayousaidthat！’saidDolly，laughing。
　　Annawashurt。
　　`Ohno，ohno！I’mnotStiva，’shesaid，knittingherbrows。`That’swhyI’mtellingyou，justbecauseIdonotevenforaninstantpermitmyselftodoubtaboutmyself，’saidAnna。
　　Butattheverymomentshewasutteringthewords，shefeltthattheywerenottrue。Shewasnotmerelydoubtingaboutherself-shefeltemotionatthethoughtofVronsky，andwasgoingawaysoonerthanshehadmeant，solelytoavoidmeetinghim。
　　`Yes，Stivatoldmeyoudancedthemazurkawithhim，andthathe……’
　　`Youcan’timaginehowabsurdlyitallcameabout。Ionlymeanttobematchmaking，andallatonceitturnedoutquitedifferently。Possiblyagainstmyownwill……’
　　Sheflushedandstopped。
　　`Oh，theyfeelitimmediately！’saidDolly。
　　`ButIshouldbeindespairiftherewereanythingseriousinitonhisside，’Annainterruptedher。`AndI’mcertainitwillallbeforgotten，andKittywillleaveoffhatingme。’
　　`Allthesame，Anna，totellyouthetruth，I’mnotveryanxiousforthismarriageforKitty。Andit’sbetteritshouldcometonothing，ifhe，Vronsky，iscapableoffallinginlovewithyouinasingleday。’
　　`Oh，heavens，thatwouldbetoosilly！’saidAnna，andagainadeepflushofpleasureappearedonherface，assheheardtheideathatabsorbedherputintowords。`AndsohereIam，goingaway，havingmadeanenemyofKitty，whomIlikedsomuch！Ah，howsweetsheis！Butyou’llmakeitright，Dolly？Eh？’
　　Dollycouldscarcelysuppressasmile。ShelovedAnna，butshewaspleasedtoseethatshe，too，hadherweaknesses。
　　`Anenemy？Thatcan’tbe。’
　　`Ididsowantyoualltocareforme，asIdoforyou，andnowIcareforyoumorethanever，’saidAnna，withtearsinhereyes。`Ah，howsillyIamtoday！’
　　Shepassedherhandkerchiefoverherfaceandbegandressing。
　　AttheverymomentofstartingStepanArkadyevicharrived，late，rosyandgood-humored，smellingofwineandcigars。
　　Anna’semotionalisminfectedDolly，andwhensheembracedhersister-in-lawforthelasttime，shewhispered:
　　`Remember，Anna，whatyou’vedoneforme-Ishallneverforget。
　　AndrememberthatIloveyou，andshallalwaysloveyouasmydearestfriend！’
　　`Idon’tknowwhy，’saidAnna，kissingherandhidinghertears。
　　`Youunderstandme，andstillunderstand。Good-by，mydarling！’
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter29[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter29`Now，it’sallover-Godbepraised！’wasthefirstthoughtthatcametoAnnaArkadyevna，whenshehadsaidgood-byforthelasttimetoherbrother，whohadstoodblockinguptheentrancetothecarriagetillthethirdbellrang。ShesatdownonherloungebesideAnnushka，andlookedaboutherinthetwilightofthesleepingcarriage。`ThankGod！tomorrowIshallseeSeriozhaandAlexeiAlexandrovich，andmylife，goodandfamiliar，willgoonintheoldway。’
　　Stillinthesameanxiousframeofmindinwhichshehadbeenallthatday，Annatookameticulouspleasureinmakingherselfcomfortableforthejourney。Withhertiny，defthandssheopenedandshutherlittleredbag，tookoutacushion，laiditonherknees，and，carefullywrappingupherfeet，settledherselfcomfortably。Aninvalidladyhadalreadylaindowntosleep。TwootherladiesbegantalkingtoAnna，andastoutelderlyladytuckedupherfeet，andmadeobservationsabouttheheatingofthetrain。Annaansweredtheladiesinafewwords，butnotforeseeinganyentertainmentfromtheconversation，sheaskedAnnushkatogetasmalllantern，hookeditonthearmofherseat，andtookfromherbagapaperknifeandanEnglishnovel。Atfirstshecouldnotgetinterestedinherreading。Thefussandstirweredisturbing；then，whenthetrainhadstarted，shecouldnothelplisteningtothenoises；thenthesnowbeatingontheleftwindowandstickingtothepane，andthesightofthemuffledguardpassingby，coveredwithsnowononeside，andtheconversationsabouttheterribleblizzardragingoutside，distractedherattention。Andafterthateverythingwasthesameandthesame:thesamejouncingandrattling，thesamesnowlashingthewindow，thesamerapidtransitionsfromsteamingheattocold，andbackagaintoheat，thesameflittingofthesamefacesinthehalf-murk，andthesamevoices；andthenAnnabegantoread，andtograspwhatsheread。Annushkawasalreadydozing，theredbagonherlap，clutchedbyherbroadhands，ingloves，ofwhichonewastorn。AnnaArkadyevnareadandgraspedthesense，yetitwasannoyingtohertoread-thatis，tofollowthereflectionofotherpeople’slives。Shehadtoogreatadesiretoliveherself。Ifshereadthattheheroineofthenovelwerenursingasickman，shelongedtomovewithnoiselessstepsabouthissickroom；ifshereadofamemberofParliamentdeliveringaspeech，shelongedtodeliverit；ifshereadofhowLadyMaryhadriddenafterthehounds，andhadprovokedhersister-in-law，andhadsurprisedeveryonebyherdaring-she，too，longedtobedoingthesame。Buttherewasnochanceofdoinganything；and，herlittlehandstoyingwiththesmoothpaperknife，sheforcedherselftoread。
　　TheheroofthenovelwasalreadybeginningtoattainhisEnglishhappiness，abaronetcy，andanestate，andAnnawasfeelingadesiretogowithhimtohisestate，whenshesuddenlyfeltthatheoughttofeelashamed，andthatshewasashamedofthesamething。Butwhatwasithewasashamedof？`WhathaveItobeashamedof？’sheaskedherselfininjuredsurprise。Sheabandonedthebookandsankagainstthebackofherchair，tightlygrippingthepaperknifeinbothhands。Therewasnothingtobeashamedof。ShewentoverallherMoscowrecollections。Allwerefine，pleasant。Sherecalledtheball，recalledVronskyandhisenamored，submissiveface；sherecalledallherconductwithhim-therewasnothingshameful。
　　Yet，withallthat，atthisverypointinherreminiscences，thefeelingofshamewasintensified，asthoughsomeinnervoice，preciselyhere，whensherecalledVronsky，weresayingtoher:`Warm，verywarm-hot！’`Well，whatisit？’shesaidtoherselfresolutely，shiftingonherseat。`Whatdoesitmean？AmIafraidtolookatthiswithoutblinking？Well，whatisit？Canitbethatbetweenmeandthisboy-officerthereexist，orcanexist，anyotherrelationsthansuchasarecommonwitheveryacquaintance？’
　　Shelaughedcontemptuouslyandtookupherbookagain；butnowshewasabsolutelyunabletomakesenseofwhatsheread。Shepassedthepaperknifeoverthewindowpane，thenlaiditssmooth，coolsurfacetohercheek，andalmostlaughedaloudattheunreasoningjoythatallatoncepossessedher。Shefeltthathernerves，likestrings，werebeingtautenedmoreandmoreuponsomekindoftighteningpeg。Shefelthereyesopeningwiderandwider，herfingersandtoestwitchingnervously，somethingwithinstoppingherbreathing，whileallimagesandsoundsseemedintheswayinghalf-murktostrikeherwithextraordinaryvividness。Momentsofdoubtwerecontinuallybesettingher:wasthecargoingforward，orback，orwasitstandingabsolutelystill？WasitreallyAnnushkaatherside，orastranger？`What’sthatonthearmofthechair-afurcloakorsomebeast？AndwhatamImyself:
　　isitI，orsomeotherwoman？’Shewasafraidofyieldingtothistrance-butsomethingwasdrawingherintoit，and，atwill，shecouldyieldtoitorresistit。Shegotuptorouseherself，andslippedoffherplaidandthecapeofwarmdress。Foramomentsheregainedherself-possession，andrealizedthatthethinpeasantwhohadcomeinwearingalongnankeenovercoat，withabuttonmissingfromit，wasthefireman，thathewaslookingatthethermometer，thatthewindandsnowhadburstinafterhimthroughthedoor；buttheneverythinggrewconfusedagain……Thatpeasantwiththelongwaisttooktognawingsomethingwithinthewall；thelittlecronestartedstretchingherlegsthewholelengthofthecarandfilleditwithablackcloud；thentherewasadreadfulscreechingandbanging，asthoughsomeonewerebeingrentintopieces；thenaredblazeblindedhereyes，and，atlast，everythingwasscreenedbyawall。Annafeltthatshehadplungeddownward。Yetallthiswasnotterrible，butjoyful。Thevoiceofamanmuffledupandcoveredwithsnowshoutedsomethinginherveryear。Shearoseandcameto，realizingthattheyhadcometoastation，andthatthiswastheconductor。SherequestedAnnushkatohandherthecapeshehadtakenoff，andhershawl，putthemon，andwenttowardthedoor。
　　`Doyouwishtogetout？’askedAnnushka。
　　`Yes，Iwanttogetabreathofair。It’sveryhotinhere。’
　　Andsheopenedthedoor。Theblizzardandthewindrushedtomeetherandbegantocontendwithherforthedoor。Andeventhisseemedjoyfultoher。Sheopenedthedoorandsteppedout。Thisseemedtobeallthatthewindhadbeenlyinginwaitfor；itsetupagleefulwhistleandwasabouttosnatchherupandwhirlheraway，butsheclutchedthecolddoorpostand，holdingontohershawl，descendedtotheplatformandtheshelterofthecar。Thewindhadbeenmightyonthesteps，butontheplatform，intheleeofthetrain，therewasalull。Withenjoymentshedrewdeepbreathsofthesnowy，frostyairand，standingnearthecar，lookedabouttheplatformandthelightedstation。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter30[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter30Thefrightfulstormragedandwhistledbetweenthewheelsofthecars，alongtheposts，aroundthecornerofthestation。Thecars，posts，people-everythinginsight-werecoveredwithsnowononeside，andweregettingmoreandmoresnowedunder。Foramomenttherewouldcomealullinthestorm，butthenitwouldagainswoopdownwithsuchguststhatitseemedimpossibletowithstandit。Meanwhilesomemenorotherweredashingabout，gailytalkingtooneanother，makingtheboardsoftheplatformcreakandceaselesslyopeningandshuttingthebigdoors。Astoopinghumanshadowglidedbyatherfeet，andsheheardahammertappinguponiron。`Let’shavethetelegram！’cameanangryvoiceoutofthestormymurkontheotherside。`Thisway！No。28！’othervoiceswerealsoshouting，andmuffledfiguresscurriedby，plasteredwithsnow。Twogentlemenpassedbyher，cigarettesglowingintheirmouths。Shedrewinonemoredeepbreath，andhadjusttakenherhandoutofhermufftograspthedoorpostandenterthecar，whenstillanothermaninamilitaryovercoat，quiteclosebesideher，steppedbetweenherandtheflickeringlightofalantern。Shelookedround，andthesameinstantrecognizedVronsky’sface。Puttinghishandtothepeakofhiscap，hebowedtoherandaskedifthereweren’tanythingshewanted，whetherhecouldnotbeofsomeservicetoher？Shegazedratherlongathim，withoutanyanswer，and，inspiteoftheshadowinwhichhewasstanding，shesaworfanciedshesawtheexpressionbothofhisfaceandhiseyes。Itwasagainthatexpressionofreverentrapturewhichhadaffectedhersoyesterday。Morethanonceshehadtoldherselfduringthepastfewdays，andonlyjustnow，thatVronskywasforheronlyoneofthehundredsofyoungmen，foreverexactlythesame，thatonemeetseverywhere；
　　thatshewouldneverpermitherselfeventothinkofhim；yetnowatthefirstflushofmeetinghim，shewasseizedbyanemotionofjoyouspride。
　　Shehadnoneedtoaskwhyhewashere。Sheknew，assurelyasifhehadtoldher，thathewashereonlytobewhereshewas。
　　`Ididn’tknowyouweregoing。Andwhyareyougoing？’shesaid，lettingfallthehandwhichhadgraspedthedoorpost。Andirrepressiblejoyandanimationshoneinherface。
　　`WhyamIgoing？’herepeated，lookingstraightintohereyes。
　　`YouknowthatIamgoingtobewhereyouare，’hesaid；`Icannotdootherwise。’
　　Andatthisverypoint，asthoughithadovercomeallobstacles，thewindscatteredthesnowfromthecarroofs，andbegantofluttersomesheetofironithadtornoff，whilethelow-pitchedwhistleoftheenginesetuparoarinfront，dismalandlamenting。Alltheawesomenessoftheblizzardnowseemedstillmoresplendidtoher。Hehadutteredpreciselywhathersoulyearnedfor，butwhichherreasondreaded。Shemadenoanswer，andinherfacehebeheldastruggle。
　　`Forgiveme，ifwhatIhavesaiddispleasesyou，’hesaidhumbly。
　　Hehadspokencourteously，deferentially，yetsofirmly，soobduratelythat，forlong，shecouldfindnoanswer。
　　`Whatyousayiswrong，andIbegofyou，ifyouareagoodman，toforgetwhatyouhavesaid，evenasIshallforgetit，’shesaidatlast。
　　`Notasinglewordofyours，norasinglegesture，shallIeverforget-norcouldIforget……’
　　`Enough，enough！’shecried，vainlyattemptingtogiveasternexpressiontoherface，whichhewasavidlyscrutinizing。Clutchingatthecolddoorpost，sheclamberedupthestepsandquicklyenteredthecorridorofthecar。Butinthislittlecorridorshepaused，reviewinginherimaginationallthathadoccurred。Withoutrecallingherownwordsorhis，sherealizedinstinctivelythatthatconversationhadbroughtthemfearfullycloser；
　　andshewasbothfrightenedandmadehappythereby。Afterstandingthusafewseconds，shewentintothecarandsatdowninherplace。Thattensedstatewhichhadtormentedheratfirstwasnotonlyrenewed，butgrewgreaterandreachedsuchapitchthatshewasafraidthat，atanymoment，somethingwouldsnapwithinherfromtheexcessivetension。Shedidnotsleepallnight。Butinthatnervoustension，andinthereveriesthatfilledherimagination，therewasnothingunpleasantorgloomy；onthecontrary，therewassomethingjoyous，glowingandexhilarating。TowardmorningAnnadozedoffasshesat，andwhensheawokeitwasalreadylight，andthetrainwasnearingPeterburg。Atoncethoughtsofhome，ofherhusbandandson，andthedetailsofthedayahead，anddaystofollow，camethronginguponher。
　　AtPeterburg，assoonasthetrainstoppedandshegotout，thefirstfacethatattractedherattentionwasthatofherhusband。`Oh，myGod！Whathashappenedtohisears？’shethoughtlookingathisfrigidandimposingfigure，andespeciallytheears，thatstruckhersonow，astheyproppedupthebrimofhisroundhat。Catchingsightofherhewenttomeether，pursinghislipsintotheirhabitualmockingsmile，andfixingherwithhisbig，tiredeyes。Someunpleasantsensationcontractedherheartasshemethisobdurateandtiredglance，asthoughshehadexpectedtoseehimadifferentman。Shewasparticularlystruckbythatfeelingofdissatisfactionwithherselfwhichsheexperiencedonmeetinghim。Thiswasanintimate，familiarfeeling，likethatstateofdissimulationwhichsheexperiencedinherrelationswithherhusband；buthithertoshehadnottakennoteofthefeeling；nowshewasclearlyandpainfullyawareofit。
　　`Yes，asyousee，yourtenderspouse，asdevotedashewasduringthesecondyearaftermarriage，wasconsumedbythedesireofseeingyou，’
　　hesaidinhisdilatory，high-pitchedvoice，andinthattonewhichhealmostalwaysusedtoher-atoneofbanteringatanyonewhoshouldspeakthusinearnest。
　　`IsSeriozhaquitewell？’sheasked。
　　`Andisthisallthereward，’saidhe，`formyardor？He’swell-quitewell……’
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　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart1，Chapter31[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter31Vronskyhadnotevenattemptedtofallasleepallthatnight。Hesatinhisarmchair，hiseyesfixedbeforehimorscanningthepeoplewhogotinandout，andifhehadindeed，onpreviousoccasions，struckandarousedpeoplewhodidnotknowhimbyhisairofunshakablecalmness，henowseemedprouderandmoreself-sufficientthanever。Heregardedpeopleasiftheywerethings。Anervousyoungman，aclerkinalawcourt，whohadtheseatoppositehis，conceivedahatredforhimbecauseofthisair。Theyoungmanaskedhimforalight，andenteredintoconversationwithhim，andevenjostledhim，tomakehimfeelthathewasnotathing，butaman。
　　ButVronskykeptonregardinghimasifhewerealamppost，andtheyoungmangrimaced，feelingthathewaslosinghisself-possessionundertheoppressivenessofthisrefusaltorecognizehimasahumanbeing。
　　Vronskysawnothingandnoone。Hefelthimselfaking，notbecausehebelievedthathehadmadeanyimpressiononAnna-hedidnotyetbelievethat-butbecausetheimpressionshehadmadeonhimaffordedhimhappinessandpride。
　　Whatwouldcomeofitallhedidnotknow，oreventhink。Hefeltthatallhisforces，hithertodissolute，scattered，werecenteredononething，andbentwithfearfulenergytowardoneblissfulgoal。Andthereinlayhishappiness。Hedidbutknowthathehadtoldherthetruth，thathehadcomewhereshewas，thatallthehappinessoflife，thesolemeaninginlifeforhim，nowlayinseeingherandhearinghervoice。AndwhenhegotoutofhiscaratBologovotogetsomeseltzerwater，andhadcaughtsightofAnna，hisveryfirstwordhadinvoluntarilytoldherhisverythoughts。Andhewasgladhehadtoldher，thatsheknewnow，andwasthinkingofit。Hedidnotsleepallnight。Backinhiscompartment，heincessantlykeptruminatinguponeverypostureinwhichhehadseenher，everywordshehaduttered；and，inhisimagination，makinghisheartswoon，floatedpicturesofapossiblefuture。