THEAUTHOR'SPREFACE
GODblessme,gentleoritmaybeplebeianreader,howeagerlymustthoubelookingforwardtothispreface,expectingtofindthereretaliation,scolding,andabuseagainsttheauthorofthesecondDonQuixote-Imeanhimwhowas,theysay,begottenatTordesillasandbornatTarragona!Wellthen,thetruthis,Iamnotgoingtogivetheethatsatisfaction;for,thoughinjuriesstirupangerinhumblerbreasts,inminetherulemustadmitofanexception。
Thouwouldsthavemecallhimass,fool,andmalapert,butIhavenosuchintention;lethisoffencebehispunishment,withhisbreadlethimeatit,andthere'sanendofit。WhatIcannothelptakingamissisthathechargesmewithbeingoldandone-handed,asifithadbeeninmypowertokeeptimefrompassingoverme,orasifthelossofmyhandhadbeenbroughtaboutinsometavern,andnotonthegrandestoccasionthepastorpresenthasseen,orthefuturecanhopetosee。Ifmywoundshavenobeautytothebeholder'seye,theyare,atleast,honourableintheestimationofthosewhoknowwheretheywerereceived;forthesoldiershowstogreateradvantagedeadinbattlethanaliveinflight;andsostronglyisthismyfeeling,thatifnowitwereproposedtoperformanimpossibilityforme,Iwouldratherhavehadmyshareinthatmightyaction,thanbefreefrommywoundsthisminutewithouthavingbeenpresentatit。Thosethesoldiershowsonhisfaceandbreastarestarsthatdirectotherstotheheavenofhonourandambitionofmeritedpraise;andmoreoveritistobeobservedthatitisnotwithgreyhairsthatonewrites,butwiththeunderstanding,andthatcommonlyimproveswithyears。Itakeitamiss,too,thathecallsmeenvious,andexplainstome,asifIwereignorant,whatenvyis;forreallyandtruly,ofthetwokindsthereare,Ionlyknowthatwhichisholy,noble,andhigh-minded;andifthatbeso,asitis,Iamnotlikelytoattackapriest,aboveallif,inaddition,heholdstherankoffamiliaroftheHolyOffice。Andifhesaidwhathedidonaccountofhimonwhosebehalfitseemshespoke,heisentirelymistaken;forIworshipthegeniusofthatperson,andadmirehisworksandhisunceasingandstrenuousindustry。Afterall,Iamgratefultothisgentleman,theauthor,forsayingthatmynovelsaremoresatiricalthanexemplary,butthattheyaregood;fortheycouldnotbethatunlesstherewasalittleofeverythinginthem。
IsuspectthouwiltsaythatIamtakingaveryhumbleline,andkeepingmyselftoomuchwithintheboundsofmymoderation,fromafeelingthatadditionalsufferingshouldnotbeinflicteduponasufferer,andthatwhatthisgentlemanhastoenduremustdoubtlessbeverygreat,ashedoesnotdaretocomeoutintotheopenfieldandbroaddaylight,buthideshisnameanddisguiseshiscountryasifhehadbeenguiltyofsomelesemajesty。Ifperchancethoushouldstcometoknowhim,tellhimfrommethatIdonotholdmyselfaggrieved;forIknowwellwhatthetemptationsofthedevilare,andthatoneofthegreatestisputtingitintoaman'sheadthathecanwriteandprintabookbywhichhewillgetasmuchfameasmoney,andasmuchmoneyasfame;andtoproveitIwillbegofyou,inyourownsprightly,pleasantway,totellhimthisstory。
TherewasamadmaninSevillewhotooktooneofthedrollestabsurditiesandvagariesthatevermadmanintheworldgavewayto。Itwasthis:hemadeatubeofreedsharpatoneend,andcatchingadoginthestreet,orwhereveritmightbe,hewithhisfootheldoneofitslegsfast,andwithhishandlifteduptheother,andasbesthecouldfixedthetubewhere,byblowing,hemadethedogasroundasaball;thenholdingitinthisposition,hegaveitacoupleofslapsonthebelly,andletitgo,sayingtothebystandersandtherewerealwaysplentyofthem:“Doyourworshipsthink,now,thatitisaneasythingtoblowupadog?”-Doesyourworshipthinknow,thatitisaneasythingtowriteabook?
Andifthisstorydoesnotsuithim,youmay,dearreader,tellhimthisone,whichislikewiseofamadmanandadog。
InCordovatherewasanothermadman,whosewayitwastocarryapieceofmarbleslaborastone,notofthelightest,onhishead,andwhenhecameuponanyunwarydogheusedtodrawclosetohimandlettheweightfallrightontopofhim;onwhichthedoginarage,barkingandhowling,wouldrunthreestreetswithoutstopping。Itsohappened,however,thatoneofthedogshedischargedhisloaduponwasacap-maker'sdog,ofwhichhismasterwasveryfond。Thestonecamedownhittingitonthehead,thedograisedayellattheblow,themastersawtheaffairandwaswroth,andsnatchingupameasuring-yardrushedoutatthemadmananddidnotleaveasoundboneinhisbody,andateverystrokehegavehimhesaid,“Youdog,youthief!mylurcher!Don'tyousee,youbrute,thatmydogisalurcher?”andso,repeatingtheword“lurcher“againandagain,hesentthemadmanawaybeatentoajelly。Themadmantookthelessontoheart,andvanished,andformorethanamonthneveronceshowedhimselfinpublic;butafterthathecameoutagainwithhisoldtrickandaheavierloadthanever。Hecameuptowheretherewasadog,andexaminingitverycarefullywithoutventuringtoletthestonefall,hesaid:“Thisisalurcher;ware!”Inshort,allthedogshecameacross,betheymastiffsorterriers,hesaidwerelurchers;andhedischargednomorestones。Maybeitwillbethesamewiththishistorian;thathewillnotventureanothertimetodischargetheweightofhiswitinbooks,which,beingbad,areharderthanstones。Tellhim,too,thatIdonotcareafarthingforthethreatheholdsouttomeofdeprivingmeofmyprofitbymeansofhisbook;
for,toborrowfromthefamousinterludeof“ThePerendenga,“Isayinanswertohim,“LonglifetomylordtheVeintiquatro,andChristbewithusall。“LonglifetothegreatCondedeLemos,whoseChristiancharityandwell-knowngenerositysupportmeagainstallthestrokesofmycurstfortune;andlonglifetothesupremebenevolenceofHisEminenceofToledo,DonBernardodeSandovalyRojas;andwhatmatteriftherebenoprinting-pressesintheworld,oriftheyprintmorebooksagainstmethantherearelettersintheversesofMingoRevulgo!Thesetwoprinces,unsoughtbyanyadulationorflatteryofmine,oftheirowngoodnessalone,havetakenituponthemtoshowmekindnessandprotectme,andinthisIconsidermyselfhappierandricherthanifFortunehadraisedmetohergreatestheightintheordinaryway。Thepoormanmayretainhonour,butnotthevicious;povertymaycastacloudovernobility,butcannothideitaltogether;andasvirtueofitselfshedsacertainlight,eventhoughitbethroughthestraitsandchinksofpenury,itwinstheesteemofloftyandnoblespirits,andinconsequencetheirprotection。Thouneedstsaynomoretohim,norwillIsayanythingmoretothee,savetotelltheetobearinmindthatthisSecondPartof“DonQuixote“whichIoffertheeiscutbythesamecraftsmanandfromthesameclothastheFirst,andthatinitI
presenttheeDonQuixotecontinued,andatlengthdeadandburied,sothatnoonemaydaretobringforwardanyfurtherevidenceagainsthim,forthatalreadyproducedissufficient;andsufficeit,too,thatsomereputablepersonshouldhavegivenanaccountofalltheseshrewdlunaciesofhiswithoutgoingintothematteragain;forabundance,evenofgoodthings,preventsthemfrombeingvalued;andscarcity,eveninthecaseofwhatisbad,confersacertainvalue。Iwasforgettingtotelltheethatthoumayestexpectthe“Persiles,“whichIamnowfinishing,andalsotheSecondPartof“Galatea。“
DEDICATIONOFPARTII
TOTHECOUNTOFLEMOS:
THESEdayspast,whensendingYourExcellencymyplays,thathadappearedinprintbeforebeingshownonthestage,Isaid,ifI
rememberwell,thatDonQuixotewasputtingonhisspurstogoandrenderhomagetoYourExcellency。NowIsaythat“withhisspurs,heisonhisway。“ShouldhereachdestinationmethinksIshallhaverenderedsomeservicetoYourExcellency,asfrommanypartsIamurgedtosendhimoff,soastodispeltheloathinganddisgustcausedbyanotherDonQuixotewho,underthenameofSecondPart,hasrunmasqueradingthroughthewholeworld。AndhewhohasshownthegreatestlongingforhimhasbeenthegreatEmperorofChina,whowrotemealetterinChineseamonthagoandsentitbyaspecialcourier。Heaskedme,ortobetruthful,hebeggedmetosendhimDonQuixote,forheintendedtofoundacollegewheretheSpanishtonguewouldbetaught,anditwashiswishthatthebooktobereadshouldbetheHistoryofDonQuixote。HealsoaddedthatIshouldgoandbetherectorofthiscollege。IaskedthebearerifHisMajestyhadaffordedasuminaidofmytravelexpenses。Heanswered,“No,noteveninthought。“
“Then,brother,“Ireplied,“youcanreturntoyourChina,posthasteoratwhateverhasteyouareboundtogo,asIamnotfitforsolongatraveland,besidesbeingill,Iamverymuchwithoutmoney,whileEmperorforEmperorandMonarchforMonarch,IhaveatNaplesthegreatCountofLemos,who,withoutsomanypettytitlesofcollegesandrectorships,sustainsme,protectsmeanddoesmemorefavourthanIcanwishfor。“
ThusIgavehimhisleaveandIbegminefromyou,offeringYourExcellencythe“TrabajosdePersilesySigismunda,“abookIshallfinishwithinfourmonths,Deovolente,andwhichwillbeeithertheworstorthebestthathasbeencomposedinourlanguage,Imeanofthoseintendedforentertainment;atwhichIrepentofhavingcalledittheworst,for,intheopinionoffriends,itisboundtoattainthesummitofpossiblequality。MayYourExcellencyreturninsuchhealththatiswishedyou;PersileswillbereadytokissyourhandandIyourfeet,beingasIam,YourExcellency'smosthumbleservant。
FromMadrid,thislastdayofOctoberoftheyearonethousandsixhundredandfifteen。
AttheserviceofYourExcellency:
MIGUELDECERVANTESSAAVEDRA
CHAPTERI
OFTHEINTERVIEWTHECURATEANDTHEBARBERHADWITHDONQUIXOTE
ABOUTHISMALADY
CIDEHAMETEBENENGELI,intheSecondPartofthishistory,andthirdsallyofDonQuixote,saysthatthecurateandthebarberremainednearlyamonthwithoutseeinghim,lesttheyshouldrecallorbringbacktohisrecollectionwhathadtakenplace。Theydidnot,however,omittovisithisnieceandhousekeeper,andchargethemtobecarefultotreathimwithattention,andgivehimcomfortingthingstoeat,andsuchasweregoodfortheheartandthebrain,whence,itwasplaintosee,allhismisfortuneproceeded。Thenieceandhousekeeperrepliedthattheydidso,andmeanttodosowithallpossiblecareandassiduity,fortheycouldperceivethattheirmasterwasnowandthenbeginningtoshowsignsofbeinginhisrightmind。
Thisgavegreatsatisfactiontothecurateandthebarber,fortheyconcludedtheyhadtakentherightcourseincarryinghimoffenchantedontheox-cart,ashasbeendescribedintheFirstPartofthisgreataswellasaccuratehistory,inthelastchapterthereof。
Sotheyresolvedtopayhimavisitandtesttheimprovementinhiscondition,althoughtheythoughtitalmostimpossiblethattherecouldbeany;andtheyagreednottotouchuponanypointconnectedwithknight-errantrysoasnottoruntheriskofreopeningwoundswhichwerestillsotender。
Theycametoseehimconsequently,andfoundhimsittingupinbedinagreenbaizewaistcoatandaredToledocap,andsowitheredanddriedupthathelookedasifhehadbeenturnedintoamummy。Theywereverycordiallyreceivedbyhim;theyaskedhimafterhishealth,andhetalkedtothemabouthimselfverynaturallyandinverywell-chosenlanguage。InthecourseoftheirconversationtheyfelltodiscussingwhattheycallState-craftandsystemsofgovernment,correctingthisabuseandcondemningthat,reformingonepracticeandabolishinganother,eachofthethreesettingupforanewlegislator,amodernLycurgus,orabrand-newSolon;andsocompletelydidtheyremodeltheState,thattheyseemedtohavethrustitintoafurnaceandtakenoutsomethingquitedifferentfromwhattheyhadputin;andonallthesubjectstheydealtwith,DonQuixotespokewithsuchgoodsensethatthepairofexaminerswerefullyconvincedthathewasquiterecoveredandinhisfullsenses。
ThenieceandhousekeeperwerepresentattheconversationandcouldnotfindwordsenoughtoexpresstheirthankstoGodatseeingtheirmastersoclearinhismind;thecurate,however,changinghisoriginalplan,whichwastoavoidtouchinguponmattersofchivalry,resolvedtotestDonQuixote'srecoverythoroughly,andseewhetheritweregenuineornot;andso,fromonesubjecttoanother,hecameatlasttotalkofthenewsthathadcomefromthecapital,and,amongotherthings,hesaiditwasconsideredcertainthattheTurkwascomingdownwithapowerfulfleet,andthatnooneknewwhathispurposewas,orwhenthegreatstormwouldburst;andthatallChristendomwasinapprehensionofthis,whichalmosteveryyearcallsustoarms,andthathisMajestyhadmadeprovisionforthesecurityofthecoastsofNaplesandSicilyandtheislandofMalta。
TothisDonQuixotereplied,“HisMajestyhasactedlikeaprudentwarriorinprovidingforthesafetyofhisrealmsintime,sothattheenemymaynotfindhimunprepared;butifmyadviceweretakenIwouldrecommendhimtoadoptameasurewhichatpresent,nodoubt,hisMajestyisveryfarfromthinkingof。“
Themomentthecurateheardthishesaidtohimself,“Godkeeptheeinhishand,poorDonQuixote,foritseemstomethouartprecipitatingthyselffromtheheightofthymadnessintotheprofoundabyssofthysimplicity。“
Butthebarber,whohadthesamesuspicionasthecurate,askedDonQuixotewhatwouldbehisadviceastothemeasuresthathesaidoughttobeadopted;forperhapsitmightprovetobeonethatwouldhavetobeaddedtothelistofthemanyimpertinentsuggestionsthatpeoplewereinthehabitofofferingtoprinces。
“Mine,mastershaver,“saidDonQuixote,“willnotbeimpertinent,but,onthecontrary,pertinent。“
“Idon'tmeanthat,“saidthebarber,“butthatexperiencehasshownthatallormostoftheexpedientswhichareproposedtohisMajestyareeitherimpossible,orabsurd,orinjurioustotheKingandtothekingdom。“
“Mine,however,“repliedDonQuixote,“isneitherimpossiblenorabsurd,buttheeasiest,themostreasonable,thereadiestandmostexpeditiousthatcouldsuggestitselftoanyprojector'smind。“
“Youtakealongtimetotellit,SenorDonQuixote,“saidthecurate。
“Idon'tchoosetotellithere,now,“saidDonQuixote,“andhaveitreachtheearsofthelordsofthecouncilto-morrowmorning,andsomeothercarryoffthethanksandrewardsofmytrouble。“
“Formypart,“saidthebarber,“IgivemywordhereandbeforeGodthatIwillnotrepeatwhatyourworshipsays,toKing,Rookorearthlyman-anoathIlearnedfromtheballadofthecurate,who,intheprelude,toldthekingofthethiefwhohadrobbedhimofthehundredgoldcrownsandhispacingmule。“
“Iamnotversedinstories,“saidDonQuixote;“butIknowtheoathisagoodone,becauseIknowthebarbertobeanhonestfellow。“
“Evenifhewerenot,“saidthecurate,“Iwillgobailandanswerforhimthatinthismatterhewillbeassilentasadummy,underpainofpayinganypenaltythatmaybepronounced。“
“Andwhowillbesecurityforyou,senorcurate?”saidDonQuixote。
“Myprofession,“repliedthecurate,“whichistokeepsecrets。“
“Odsbody!”saidDonQuixoteatthis,“whatmorehashisMajestytodobuttocommand,bypublicproclamation,alltheknights-errantthatarescatteredoverSpaintoassembleonafixeddayinthecapital,forevenifnomorethanhalfadozencome,theremaybeoneamongthemwhoalonewillsufficetodestroytheentiremightoftheTurk。Givemeyourattentionandfollowme。Isit,pray,anynewthingforasingleknight-erranttodemolishanarmyoftwohundredthousandmen,asiftheyallhadbutonethroatorweremadeofsugarpaste?Nay,tellme,howmanyhistoriesaretherefilledwiththesemarvels?Ifonlyinanevilhourforme:Idon'tspeakforanyoneelsethefamousDonBelianiswerealivenow,oranyoneoftheinnumerableprogenyofAmadisofGaul!Ifanythesewerealivetoday,andweretocomefacetofacewiththeTurk,bymyfaith,I
wouldnotgivemuchfortheTurk'schance。ButGodwillhaveregardforhispeople,andwillprovidesomeone,who,ifnotsovaliantastheknights-errantofyore,atleastwillnotbeinferiortotheminspirit;butGodknowswhatImean,andIsaynomore。“
“Alas!”exclaimedthenieceatthis,“mayIdieifmymasterdoesnotwanttoturnknight-errantagain;“towhichDonQuixotereplied,“Aknight-errantIshalldie,andlettheTurkcomedownorgoupwhenhelikes,andinasstrongforceashecan,oncemoreIsay,GodknowswhatImean。“Butherethebarbersaid,“IaskyourworshipstogivemeleavetotellashortstoryofsomethingthathappenedinSeville,whichcomessopattothepurposejustnowthatIshouldlikegreatlytotellit。“DonQuixotegavehimleave,andtherestpreparedtolisten,andhebeganthus:
“InthemadhouseatSevilletherewasamanwhomhisrelationshadplacedthereasbeingoutofhismind。HewasagraduateofOsunaincanonlaw;butevenifhehadbeenofSalamanca,itwastheopinionofmostpeoplethathewouldhavebeenmadallthesame。Thisgraduate,aftersomeyearsofconfinement,tookitintohisheadthathewassaneandinhisfullsenses,andunderthisimpressionwrotetotheArchbishop,entreatinghimearnestly,andinverycorrectlanguage,tohavehimreleasedfromthemiseryinwhichhewasliving;forbyGod'smercyhehadnowrecoveredhislostreason,thoughhisrelations,inordertoenjoyhisproperty,kepthimthere,and,inspiteofthetruth,wouldmakehimouttobemaduntilhisdyingday。TheArchbishop,movedbyrepeatedsensible,well-writtenletters,directedoneofhischaplainstomakeinquiryofthemadhouseastothetruthofthelicentiate'sstatements,andtohaveaninterviewwiththemadmanhimself,and,ifitshouldappearthathewasinhissenses,totakehimoutandrestorehimtoliberty。Thechaplaindidso,andthegovernorassuredhimthatthemanwasstillmad,andthatthoughheoftenspokelikeahighlyintelligentperson,hewouldintheendbreakoutintononsensethatinquantityandqualitycounterbalancedallthesensiblethingshehadsaidbefore,asmightbeeasilytestedbytalkingtohim。Thechaplainresolvedtotrytheexperiment,andobtainingaccesstothemadmanconversedwithhimforanhourormore,duringthewholeofwhichtimeheneverutteredawordthatwasincoherentorabsurd,but,onthecontrary,spokesorationallythatthechaplainwascompelledtobelievehimtobesane。Amongotherthings,hesaidthegovernorwasagainsthim,nottolosethepresentshisrelationsmadehimforreportinghimstillmadbutwithlucidintervals;andthattheworstfoehehadinhismisfortunewashislargeproperty;forinordertoenjoyithisenemiesdisparagedandthrewdoubtsuponthemercyourLordhadshownhiminturninghimfromabrutebeastintoaman。Inshort,hespokeinsuchawaythathecastsuspiciononthegovernor,andmadehisrelationsappearcovetousandheartless,andhimselfsorationalthatthechaplaindeterminedtotakehimawaywithhimthattheArchbishopmightseehim,andascertainforhimselfthetruthofthematter。Yieldingtothisconviction,theworthychaplainbeggedthegovernortohavetheclothesinwhichthelicentiatehadenteredthehousegiventohim。
Thegovernoragainbadehimbewareofwhathewasdoing,asthelicentiatewasbeyondadoubtstillmad;butallhiscautionsandwarningswereunavailingtodissuadethechaplainfromtakinghimaway。Thegovernor,seeingthatitwastheorderoftheArchbishop,obeyed,andtheydressedthelicentiateinhisownclothes,whichwerenewanddecent。He,assoonashesawhimselfclothedlikeoneinhissenses,anddivestedoftheappearanceofamadman,entreatedthechaplaintopermithimincharitytogoandtakeleaveofhiscomradesthemadmen。Thechaplainsaidhewouldgowithhimtoseewhatmadmentherewereinthehouse;sotheywentupstairs,andwiththemsomeofthosewhowerepresent。Approachingacageinwhichtherewasafuriousmadman,thoughjustatthatmomentcalmandquiet,thelicentiatesaidtohim,'Brother,thinkifyouhaveanycommandsforme,forIamgoinghome,asGodhasbeenpleased,inhisinfinitegoodnessandmercy,withoutanymeritofmine,torestorememyreason。Iamnowcuredandinmysenses,forwithGod'spowernothingisimpossible。Havestronghopeandtrustinhim,forashehasrestoredmetomyoriginalcondition,solikewisehewillrestoreyouifyoutrustinhim。Iwilltakecaretosendyousomegoodthingstoeat;andbesureyoueatthem;forIwouldhaveyouknowIamconvinced,asonewhohasgonethroughit,thatallthismadnessofourscomesofhavingthestomachemptyandthebrainsfullofwind。Takecourage!takecourage!fordespondencyinmisfortunebreaksdownhealthandbringsondeath。'
“Toallthesewordsofthelicentiateanothermadmaninacageoppositethatofthefuriousonewaslistening;andraisinghimselfupfromanoldmatonwhichhelaystarknaked,heaskedinaloudvoicewhoitwasthatwasgoingawaycuredandinhissenses。Thelicentiateanswered,'ItisI,brother,whoamgoing;Ihavenownoneedtoremainhereanylonger,forwhichIreturninfinitethankstoHeaventhathashadsogreatmercyuponme。'
“'Mindwhatyouaresaying,licentiate;don'tletthedevildeceiveyou,'repliedthemadman。'Keepquiet,staywhereyouare,andyouwillsaveyourselfthetroubleofcomingback。'
“'IknowIamcured,'returnedthelicentiate,'andthatIshallnothavetogostationsagain。'
“'Youcured!'saidthemadman;'well,weshallsee;Godbewithyou;
butIsweartoyoubyJupiter,whosemajestyIrepresentonearth,thatforthiscrimealone,whichSevilleiscommittingto-dayinreleasingyoufromthishouse,andtreatingyouasifyouwereinyoursenses,Ishallhavetoinflictsuchapunishmentonitaswillberememberedforagesandages,amen。Dostthounotknow,thoumiserablelittlelicentiate,thatIcandoit,being,asIsay,JupitertheThunderer,whoholdinmyhandsthefieryboltswithwhichIamableandamwonttothreatenandlaywastetheworld?ButinonewayonlywillIpunishthisignoranttown,andthatisbynotraininguponit,noronanypartofitsdistrictorterritory,forthreewholeyears,tobereckonedfromthedayandmomentwhenthisthreatispronounced。Thoufree,thoucured,thouinthysenses!andImad,I
disordered,Ibound!Iwillassoonthinkofsendingrainasofhangingmyself。
“Thosepresentstoodlisteningtothewordsandexclamationsofthemadman;butourlicentiate,turningtothechaplainandseizinghimbythehands,saidtohim,'Benotuneasy,senor;attachnoimportancetowhatthismadmanhassaid;forifheisJupiterandwillnotsendrain,I,whoamNeptune,thefatherandgodofthewaters,willrainasoftenasitpleasesmeandmaybeneedful。'
“Thegovernorandthebystanderslaughed,andattheirlaughterthechaplainwashalfashamed,andhereplied,'Forallthat,SenorNeptune,itwillnotdotovexSenorJupiter;remainwhereyouare,andsomeotherday,whenthereisabetteropportunityandmoretime,wewillcomebackforyou。'Sotheystrippedthelicentiate,andhewasleftwherehewas;andthat'stheendofthestory。“
“Sothat'sthestory,masterbarber,“saidDonQuixote,“whichcameinsopattothepurposethatyoucouldnothelptellingit?
Mastershaver,mastershaver!howblindishewhocannotseethroughasieve。Isitpossiblethatyoudonotknowthatcomparisonsofwitwithwit,valourwithvalour,beautywithbeauty,birthwithbirth,arealwaysodiousandunwelcome?I,masterbarber,amnotNeptune,thegodofthewaters,nordoItrytomakeanyonetakemeforanastuteman,forIamnotone。Myonlyendeavouristoconvincetheworldofthemistakeitmakesinnotrevivinginitselfthehappytimewhentheorderofknight-errantrywasinthefield。Butourdepravedagedoesnotdeservetoenjoysuchablessingasthoseagesenjoyedwhenknights-erranttookupontheirshouldersthedefenceofkingdoms,theprotectionofdamsels,thesuccouroforphansandminors,thechastisementoftheproud,andtherecompenseofthehumble。Withtheknightsofthesedays,forthemostpart,itisthedamask,brocade,andrichstuffstheywear,thatrustleastheygo,notthechainmailoftheirarmour;noknightnow-a-dayssleepsintheopenfieldexposedtotheinclemencyofheaven,andinfullpanoplyfromheadtofoot;noonenowtakesanap,astheycallit,withoutdrawinghisfeetoutofthestirrups,andleaninguponhislance,astheknights-errantusedtodo;noonenow,issuingfromthewood,penetratesyondermountains,andthentreadsthebarren,lonelyshoreofthesea-mostlyatempestuousandstormyone-andfindingonthebeachalittlebarkwithoutoars,sail,mast,ortacklingofanykind,intheintrepidityofhisheartflingshimselfintoitandcommitshimselftothewrathfulbillowsofthedeepsea,thatonemomentlifthimuptoheavenandthenextplungehimintothedepths;andopposinghisbreasttotheirresistiblegale,findshimself,whenheleastexpectsit,threethousandleaguesandmoreawayfromtheplacewhereheembarked;andleapingashoreinaremoteandunknownlandhasadventuresthatdeservetobewritten,notonparchment,butonbrass。Butnowslothtriumphsoverenergy,indolenceoverexertion,viceovervirtue,arroganceovercourage,andtheoryoverpracticeinarms,whichflourishedandshoneonlyinthegoldenagesandinknights-errant。Fortellme,whowasmorevirtuousandmorevaliantthanthefamousAmadisofGaul?WhomorediscreetthanPalmerinofEngland?WhomoregraciousandeasythanTiranteelBlanco?WhomorecourtlythanLisuarteofGreece?WhomoreslashedorslashingthanDonBelianis?WhomoreintrepidthanPerionofGaul?WhomorereadytofacedangerthanFelixmarteofHircania?WhomoresincerethanEsplandian?WhomoreimpetuousthanDonCirongilioofThrace?WhomoreboldthanRodamonte?WhomoreprudentthanKingSobrino?WhomoredaringthanReinaldos?WhomoreinvinciblethanRoland?andwhomoregallantandcourteousthanRuggiero,fromwhomthedukesofFerraraofthepresentdayaredescended,accordingtoTurpininhis'Cosmography。'Alltheseknights,andmanymorethatIcouldname,senorcurate,wereknights-errant,thelightandgloryofchivalry。These,orsuchasthese,Iwouldhavetocarryoutmyplan,andinthatcasehisMajestywouldfindhimselfwellservedandwouldsavegreatexpense,andtheTurkwouldbelefttearinghisbeard。AndsoIwillstaywhereIam,asthechaplaindoesnottakemeaway;andifJupiter,asthebarberhastoldus,willnotsendrain,hereamI,andIwillrainwhenI
please。IsaythisthatMasterBasinmayknowthatIunderstandhim。“
“Indeed,SenorDonQuixote,“saidthebarber,“Ididnotmeanitinthatway,and,sohelpmeGod,myintentionwasgood,andyourworshipoughtnottobevexed。“
“AstowhetherIoughttobevexedornot,“returnedDonQuixote,“I
myselfamthebestjudge。“
Hereuponthecurateobserved,“Ihavehardlysaidawordasyet;andIwouldgladlyberelievedofadoubt,arisingfromwhatDonQuixotehassaid,thatworriesandworksmyconscience。“
“Thesenorcuratehasleaveformorethanthat,“returnedDonQuixote,“sohemaydeclarehisdoubt,foritisnotpleasanttohaveadoubtonone'sconscience。“
“Wellthen,withthatpermission,“saidthecurate,“Isaymydoubtisthat,allIcando,Icannotpersuademyselfthatthewholepackofknights-errantyou,SenorDonQuixote,havementioned,werereallyandtrulypersonsoffleshandblood,thateverlivedintheworld;onthecontrary,Isuspectittobeallfiction,fable,andfalsehood,anddreamstoldbymenawakenedfromsleep,orratherstillhalfasleep。“
“Thatisanothermistake,“repliedDonQuixote,“intowhichmanyhavefallenwhodonotbelievethatthereeverweresuchknightsintheworld,andIhaveoften,withdiverspeopleandondiversoccasions,triedtoexposethisalmostuniversalerrortothelightoftruth。SometimesIhavenotbeensuccessfulinmypurpose,sometimesI
have,supportingitupontheshouldersofthetruth;whichtruthissoclearthatIcanalmostsayIhavewithmyowneyesseenAmadisofGaul,whowasamanofloftystature,faircomplexion,withahandsomethoughblackbeard,ofacountenancebetweengentleandsterninexpression,sparingofwords,slowtoanger,andquicktoputitawayfromhim;andasIhavedepictedAmadis,soIcould,Ithink,portrayanddescribealltheknights-errantthatareinallthehistoriesintheworld;forbytheperceptionIhavethattheywerewhattheirhistoriesdescribe,andbythedeedstheydidandthedispositionstheydisplayed,itispossible,withtheaidofsoundphilosophy,todeducetheirfeatures,complexion,andstature。“
“Howbig,inyourworship'sopinion,maythegiantMorgantehavebeen,SenorDonQuixote?”askedthebarber。
“Withregardtogiants,“repliedDonQuixote,“opinionsdifferastowhetherthereeverwereanyornotintheworld;buttheHolyScripture,whichcannoterrbyajotfromthetruth,showsusthattherewere,whenitgivesusthehistoryofthatbigPhilistine,Goliath,whowassevencubitsandahalfinheight,whichisahugesize。Likewise,intheislandofSicily,therehavebeenfoundleg-bonesandarm-bonessolargethattheirsizemakesitplainthattheirownersweregiants,andastallasgreattowers;geometryputsthisfactbeyondadoubt。But,forallthat,IcannotspeakwithcertaintyastothesizeofMorgante,thoughIsuspecthecannothavebeenverytall;andIaminclinedtobeofthisopinionbecauseI
findinthehistoryinwhichhisdeedsareparticularlymentioned,thathefrequentlysleptunderaroofandashefoundhousestocontainhim,itisclearthathisbulkcouldnothavebeenanythingexcessive。“
“Thatistrue,“saidthecurate,andyieldingtotheenjoymentofhearingsuchnonsense,heaskedhimwhatwashisnotionofthefeaturesofReinaldosofMontalban,andDonRolandandtherestoftheTwelvePeersofFrance,fortheywereallknights-errant。
“AsforReinaldos,“repliedDonQuixote,“Iventuretosaythathewasbroad-faced,ofruddycomplexion,withroguishandsomewhatprominenteyes,excessivelypunctiliousandtouchy,andgiventothesocietyofthievesandscapegraces。WithregardtoRoland,orRotolando,orOrlandoforthehistoriescallhimbyallthesenames,Iamofopinion,andhold,thathewasofmiddleheight,broad-shouldered,ratherbow-legged,swarthy-complexioned,red-bearded,withahairybodyandasevereexpressionofcountenance,amanoffewwords,butverypoliteandwell-bred。“
“IfRolandwasnotamoregracefulpersonthanyourworshiphasdescribed,“saidthecurate,“itisnowonderthatthefairLadyAngelicarejectedhimandlefthimforthegaiety,liveliness,andgraceofthatbudding-beardedlittleMoortowhomshesurrenderedherself;andsheshowedhersenseinfallinginlovewiththegentlesoftnessofMedororatherthantheroughnessofRoland。“
“ThatAngelica,senorcurate,“returnedDonQuixote,“wasagiddydamsel,flightyandsomewhatwanton,andshelefttheworldasfullofhervagariesasofthefameofherbeauty。Shetreatedwithscornathousandgentlemen,menofvalourandwisdom,andtookupwithasmooth-facedsprigofapage,withoutfortuneorfame,exceptsuchreputationforgratitudeastheaffectionheborehisfriendgotforhim。Thegreatpoetwhosangherbeauty,thefamousAriosto,notcaringtosingheradventuresafterhercontemptiblesurrenderwhichprobablywerenotoverandabovecreditable,droppedherwherehesays:
HowshereceivedthesceptreofCathay,Somebardofdefterquillmaysingsomeday;
andthiswasnodoubtakindofprophecy,forpoetsarealsocalledvates,thatistosaydiviners;anditstruthwasmadeplain;forsincethenafamousAndalusianpoethaslamentedandsunghertears,andanotherfamousandrarepoet,aCastilian,hassungherbeauty。“
“Tellme,SenorDonQuixote,“saidthebarberhere,“amongallthosewhopraisedher,hastherebeennopoettowriteasatireonthisLadyAngelica?”
“Icanwellbelieve,“repliedDonQuixote,“thatifSacripanteorRolandhadbeenpoetstheywouldhavegiventhedamselatrimming;foritisnaturallythewaywithpoetswhohavebeenscornedandrejectedbytheirladies,whetherfictitiousornot,inshortbythosewhomtheyselectastheladiesoftheirthoughts,toavengethemselvesinsatiresandlibels-avengeance,tobesure,unworthyofgeneroushearts;butuptothepresentIhavenotheardofanydefamatoryverseagainsttheLadyAngelica,whoturnedtheworldupsidedown。“
“Strange,“saidthecurate;butatthismomenttheyheardthehousekeeperandtheniece,whohadpreviouslywithdrawnfromtheconversation,exclaimingaloudinthecourtyard,andatthenoisetheyallranout。
CHAPTERII
WHICHTREATSOFTHENOTABLEALTERCATIONWHICHSANCHOPANZAHAD
WITHDONQUIXOTE'SNIECE,ANDHOUSEKEEPER,TOGETHERWITHOTHERDROLL
MATTERS
THEhistoryrelatesthattheoutcryDonQuixote,thecurate,andthebarberheardcamefromthenieceandthehousekeeperexclaimingtoSancho,whowasstrivingtoforcehiswayintoseeDonQuixotewhiletheyheldthedooragainsthim,“Whatdoesthevagabondwantinthishouse?Beofftoyourown,brother,foritisyou,andnooneelse,thatdeludemymaster,andleadhimastray,andtakehimtrampingaboutthecountry。“
TowhichSanchoreplied,“Devil'sownhousekeeper!itisIwhoamdeluded,andledastray,andtakentrampingaboutthecountry,andnotthymaster!Hehascarriedmeallovertheworld,andyouaremightilymistaken。Heenticedmeawayfromhomebyatrick,promisingmeanisland,whichIamstillwaitingfor。“
“Mayevilislandschokethee,thoudetestableSancho,“saidtheniece;“Whatareislands?Isitsomethingtoeat,gluttonandgormandiserthatthouart?”
“Itisnotsomethingtoeat,“repliedSancho,“butsomethingtogovernandrule,andbetterthanfourcitiesorfourjudgeshipsatcourt。“
“Forallthat,“saidthehousekeeper,“youdon'tenterhere,youbagofmischiefandsackofknavery;gogovernyourhouseanddigyourseed-patch,andgiveoverlookingforislandsorshylands。“
Thecurateandthebarberlistenedwithgreatamusementtothewordsofthethree;butDonQuixote,uneasylestSanchoshouldblabandblurtoutawholeheapofmischievousstupidities,andtouchuponpointsthatmightnotbealtogethertohiscredit,calledtohimandmadetheothertwoholdtheirtonguesandlethimcomein。Sanchoentered,andthecurateandthebarbertooktheirleaveofDonQuixote,ofwhoserecoverytheydespairedwhentheysawhowweddedhewastohiscrazyideas,andhowsaturatedwiththenonsenseofhisunluckychivalry;andsaidthecuratetothebarber,“Youwillsee,gossip,thatwhenweareleastthinkingofit,ourgentlemanwillbeoffoncemoreforanotherflight。“
“Ihavenodoubtofit,“returnedthebarber;“butIdonotwondersomuchatthemadnessoftheknightasatthesimplicityofthesquire,whohassuchafirmbeliefinallthatabouttheisland,thatIsupposealltheexposuresthatcouldbeimaginedwouldnotgetitoutofhishead。“
“Godhelpthem,“saidthecurate;“andletusbeonthelook-outtoseewhatcomesofalltheseabsurditiesoftheknightandsquire,foritseemsasiftheyhadbothbeencastinthesamemould,andthemadnessofthemasterwithoutthesimplicityofthemanwouldnotbeworthafarthing。“
“Thatistrue,“saidthebarber,“andIshouldlikeverymuchtoknowwhatthepairaretalkingaboutatthismoment。“
“Ipromiseyou,“saidthecurate,“thenieceorthehousekeeperwilltellusby-and-by,fortheyarenottheonestoforgettolisten。“
MeanwhileDonQuixoteshuthimselfupinhisroomwithSancho,andwhentheywerealonehesaidtohim,“Itgrievesmegreatly,Sancho,thatthoushouldsthavesaid,andsayest,thatItooktheeoutofthycottage,whenthouknowestIdidnotremaininmyhouse。Wesalliedforthtogether,wetooktheroadtogether,wewanderedabroadtogether;wehavehadthesamefortuneandthesameluck;iftheyblanketedtheeonce,theybelabouredmeahundredtimes,andthatistheonlyadvantageIhaveofthee。“
“Thatwasonlyreasonable,“repliedSancho,“for,bywhatyourworshipsays,misfortunesbelongmoreproperlytoknights-errantthantotheirsquires。“
“Thouartmistaken,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote,“accordingtothemaximquandocaputdolet,&c。“
“Idon'tunderstandanylanguagebutmyown,“saidSancho。
“Imeantosay,“saidDonQuixote,“thatwhentheheadsuffersallthememberssuffer;andso,beingthylordandmaster,Iamthyhead,andthouapartofmeasthouartmyservant;andthereforeanyevilthataffectsorshallaffectmeshouldgivetheepain,andwhataffectstheegivepaintome。“
“Itshouldbeso,“saidSancho;“butwhenIwasblanketedasamember,myheadwasontheothersideofthewall,lookingonwhileIwasflyingthroughtheair,anddidnotfeelanypainwhatever;
andifthemembersareobligedtofeelthesufferingofthehead,itshouldbeobligedtofeeltheirsufferings。“
“Dostthoumeantosaynow,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote,“thatIdidnotfeelwhentheywereblanketingthee?Ifthoudost,thoumustnotsaysoorthinkso,forIfeltmorepaintheninspiritthanthoudidstinbody。Butletusputthatasideforthepresent,forweshallhaveopportunitiesenoughforconsideringandsettlingthepoint;tellme,Sanchomyfriend,whatdotheysayaboutmeinthevillagehere?
Whatdothecommonpeoplethinkofme?Whatdothehidalgos?Whatdothecaballeros?Whatdotheysayofmyvalour;ofmyachievements;
ofmycourtesy?HowdotheytreatthetaskIhaveundertakeninrevivingandrestoringtotheworldthenowforgottenorderofchivalry?Inshort,Sancho,Iwouldhavetheetellmeallthathascometothineearsonthissubject;andthouarttotellme,withoutaddinganythingtothegoodortakingawayanythingfromthebad;
foritisthedutyofloyalvassalstotellthetruthtotheirlordsjustasitisandinitspropershape,notallowingflatterytoaddtoitoranyidledeferencetolessenit。AndIwouldhavetheeknow,Sancho,thatifthenakedtruth,undisguisedbyflattery,cametotheearsofprinces,timeswouldbedifferent,andotherageswouldbereckonedironagesmorethanours,whichIholdtobethegoldenoftheselatterdays。Profitbythisadvice,Sancho,andreporttomeclearlyandfaithfullythetruthofwhatthouknowesttouchingwhatIhavedemandedofthee。“
“ThatIwilldowithallmyheart,master,“repliedSancho,“providedyourworshipwillnotbevexedatwhatIsay,asyouwishmetosayitoutinallitsnakedness,withoutputtinganymoreclothesonitthanitcametomyknowledgein。“
“Iwillnotbevexedatall,“returnedDonQuixote;“thoumayestspeakfreely,Sancho,andwithoutanybeatingaboutthebush。“
“Wellthen,“saidhe,“firstofall,Ihavetotellyouthatthecommonpeopleconsideryourworshipamightygreatmadman,andmenolessafool。Thehidalgossaythat,notkeepingwithintheboundsofyourqualityofgentleman,youhaveassumedthe'Don,'andmadeaknightofyourselfatajump,withfourvine-stocksandacoupleofacresofland,andneverashirttoyourback。Thecaballerossaytheydonotwanttohavehidalgossettingupinoppositiontothem,particularlysquirehidalgoswhopolishtheirownshoesanddarntheirblackstockingswithgreensilk。“
“That,“saidDonQuixote,“doesnotapplytome,forIalwaysgowelldressedandneverpatched;raggedImaybe,butraggedmorefromthewearandtearofarmsthanoftime。“
“Astoyourworship'svalour,courtesy,accomplishments,andtask,thereisavarietyofopinions。Somesay,'madbutdroll;'others,'valiantbutunlucky;'others,'courteousbutmeddling,'andthentheygointosuchanumberofthingsthattheydon'tleaveawholeboneeitherinyourworshiporinmyself。“
“Recollect,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote,“thatwherevervirtueexistsinaneminentdegreeitispersecuted。Fewornoneofthefamousmenthathavelivedescapedbeingcalumniatedbymalice。JuliusCaesar,theboldest,wisest,andbravestofcaptains,waschargedwithbeingambitious,andnotparticularlycleanlyinhisdress,orpureinhismorals。OfAlexander,whosedeedswonhimthenameofGreat,theysaythathewassomewhatofadrunkard。OfHercules,himofthemanylabours,itissaidthathewaslewdandluxurious。OfDonGalaor,thebrotherofAmadisofGaul,itwaswhisperedthathewasoverquarrelsome,andofhisbrotherthathewaslachrymose。Sothat,OSancho,amongstallthesecalumniesagainstgoodmen,minemaybeletpass,sincetheyarenomorethanthouhastsaid。“
“That'sjustwhereitis,bodyofmyfather!”
“Istheremore,then?”askedDonQuixote。
“There'sthetailtobeskinnedyet,“saidSancho;“allsofariscakesandfancybread;butifyourworshipwantstoknowallaboutthecalumniestheybringagainstyou,Iwillfetchyouonethisinstantwhocantellyouthewholeofthemwithoutmissinganatom;forlastnightthesonofBartholomewCarrasco,whohasbeenstudyingatSalamanca,camehomeafterhavingbeenmadeabachelor,andwhenI
wenttowelcomehim,hetoldmethatyourworship'shistoryisalreadyabroadinbooks,withthetitleofTHEINGENIOUSGENTLEMANDONQUIXOTE
OFLAMANCHA;andhesaystheymentionmeinitbymyownnameofSanchoPanza,andtheladyDulcineadelTobosotoo,anddiversthingsthathappenedtouswhenwewerealone;sothatIcrossedmyselfinmywonderhowthehistorianwhowrotethemdowncouldhaveknownthem。“
“Ipromisethee,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote,“theauthorofourhistorywillbesomesageenchanter;fortosuchnothingthattheychoosetowriteaboutishidden。“
“What!”saidSancho,“asageandanenchanter!Why,thebachelorSamsonCarrascothatisthenameofhimIspokeofsaystheauthorofthehistoryiscalledCideHameteBerengena。“
“ThatisaMoorishname,“saidDonQuixote。
“Maybeso,“repliedSancho;“forIhaveheardsaythattheMoorsaremostlygreatloversofberengenas。“
“Thoumusthavemistakenthesurnameofthis'Cide'-whichmeansinArabic'Lord'-Sancho,“observedDonQuixote。
“Verylikely,“repliedSancho,“butifyourworshipwishesmetofetchthebachelorIwillgoforhiminatwinkling。“
“Thouwiltdomeagreatpleasure,myfriend,“saidDonQuixote,“forwhatthouhasttoldmehasamazedme,andIshallnoteatamorselthatwillagreewithmeuntilIhaveheardallaboutit。“
“ThenIamoffforhim,“saidSancho;andleavinghismasterhewentinquestofthebachelor,withwhomhereturnedinashorttime,and,allthreetogether,theyhadaverydrollcolloquy。
CHAPTERIII
OFTHELAUGHABLECONVERSATIONTHATPASSEDBETWEENDONQUIXOTE,SANCHOPANZA,ANDTHEBACHELORSAMSONCARRASCO
DONQUIXOTEremainedverydeepinthought,waitingforthebachelorCarrasco,fromwhomhewastohearhowhehimselfhadbeenputintoabookasSanchosaid;andhecouldnotpersuadehimselfthatanysuchhistorycouldbeinexistence,forthebloodoftheenemieshehadslainwasnotyetdryonthebladeofhissword,andnowtheywantedtomakeoutthathismightyachievementsweregoingaboutinprint。Forallthat,hefanciedsomesage,eitherafriendoranenemy,might,bytheaidofmagic,havegiventhemtothepress;ifafriend,inordertomagnifyandexaltthemabovethemostfamouseverachievedbyanyknight-errant;ifanenemy,tobringthemtonaughtanddegradethembelowthemeanesteverrecordedofanylowsquire,thoughashesaidtohimself,theachievementsofsquiresneverwererecorded。If,however,itwerethefactthatsuchahistorywereinexistence,itmustnecessarily,beingthestoryofaknight-errant,begrandiloquent,lofty,imposing,grandandtrue。Withthishecomfortedhimselfsomewhat,thoughitmadehimuncomfortabletothinkthattheauthorwasaMoor,judgingbythetitleof“Cide;“
andthatnotruthwastobelookedforfromMoors,astheyareallimpostors,cheats,andschemers。Hewasafraidhemighthavedealtwithhisloveaffairsinsomeindecorousfashion,thatmighttendtothediscreditandprejudiceofthepurityofhisladyDulcineadelToboso;hewouldhavehadhimsetforththefidelityandrespecthehadalwaysobservedtowardsher,spurningqueens,empresses,anddamselsofallsorts,andkeepinginchecktheimpetuosityofhisnaturalimpulses。Absorbedandwrappedupintheseanddiversothercogitations,hewasfoundbySanchoandCarrasco,whomDonQuixotereceivedwithgreatcourtesy。
Thebachelor,thoughhewascalledSamson,wasofnogreatbodilysize,buthewasaverygreatwag;hewasofasallowcomplexion,butverysharp-witted,somewhereaboutfour-and-twentyyearsofage,witharoundface,aflatnose,andalargemouth,allindicationsofamischievousdispositionandaloveoffunandjokes;andofthishegaveasampleassoonashesawDonQuixote,byfallingonhiskneesbeforehimandsaying,“Letmekissyourmightiness'shand,SenorDonQuixoteofLaMancha,for,bythehabitofSt。PeterthatIwear,thoughIhavenomorethanthefirstfourorders,yourworshipisoneofthemostfamousknights-errantthathaveeverbeen,orwillbe,alltheworldover。AblessingonCideHameteBenengeli,whohaswrittenthehistoryofyourgreatdeeds,andadoubleblessingonthatconnoisseurwhotookthetroubleofhavingittranslatedoutoftheArabicintoourCastilianvulgartonguefortheuniversalentertainmentofthepeople!”
DonQuixotemadehimrise,andsaid,“So,then,itistruethatthereisahistoryofme,andthatitwasaMoorandasagewhowroteit?”
“Sotrueisit,senor,“saidSamson,“thatmybeliefistherearemorethantwelvethousandvolumesofthesaidhistoryinprintthisveryday。OnlyaskPortugal,Barcelona,andValencia,wheretheyhavebeenprinted,andmoreoverthereisareportthatitisbeingprintedatAntwerp,andIampersuadedtherewillnotbeacountryorlanguageinwhichtherewillnotbeatranslationofit。“
“Oneofthethings,“hereobservedDonQuixote,“thatoughttogivemostpleasuretoavirtuousandeminentmanistofindhimselfinhislifetimeinprintandintype,familiarinpeople'smouthswithagoodname;Isaywithagoodname,forifitbetheopposite,thenthereisnodeathtobecomparedtoit。“
“Ifitgoesbygoodnameandfame,“saidthebachelor,“yourworshipalonebearsawaythepalmfromalltheknights-errant;fortheMoorinhisownlanguage,andtheChristianinhis,havetakencaretosetbeforeusyourgallantry,yourhighcourageinencounteringdangers,yourfortitudeinadversity,yourpatienceundermisfortunesaswellaswounds,thepurityandcontinenceoftheplatoniclovesofyourworshipandmyladyDonaDulcineadelToboso-“
“IneverheardmyladyDulcineacalledDona,“observedSanchohere;“nothingmorethantheladyDulcineadelToboso;soherealreadythehistoryiswrong。“
“Thatisnotanobjectionofanyimportance,“repliedCarrasco。
“Certainlynot,“saidDonQuixote;“buttellme,senorbachelor,whatdeedsofminearetheythataremademostofinthishistory?”
“Onthatpoint,“repliedthebachelor,“opinionsdiffer,astastesdo;someswearbytheadventureofthewindmillsthatyourworshiptooktobeBriareusesandgiants;othersbythatofthefullingmills;
onecriesupthedescriptionofthetwoarmiesthatafterwardstooktheappearanceoftwodrovesofsheep;anotherthatofthedeadbodyonitswaytobeburiedatSegovia;athirdsaystheliberationofthegalleyslavesisthebestofall,andafourththatnothingcomesuptotheaffairwiththeBenedictinegiants,andthebattlewiththevaliantBiscayan。“
“Tellme,senorbachelor,“saidSanchoatthispoint,“doestheadventurewiththeYanguesanscomein,whenourgoodRocinantewenthankeringafterdainties?”
“Thesagehasleftnothingintheink-bottle,“repliedSamson;“hetellsallandsetsdowneverything,eventothecapersthatworthySanchocutintheblanket。“
“Icutnocapersintheblanket,“returnedSancho;“intheairI
did,andmoreofthemthanIliked。“
“Thereisnohumanhistoryintheworld,Isuppose,“saidDonQuixote,“thathasnotitsupsanddowns,butmorethanotherssuchasdealwithchivalry,fortheycanneverbeentirelymadeupofprosperousadventures。“
“Forallthat,“repliedthebachelor,“therearethosewhohavereadthehistorywhosaytheywouldhavebeengladiftheauthorhadleftoutsomeofthecountlesscudgellingsthatwereinflictedonSenorDonQuixoteinvariousencounters。“
“That'swherethetruthofthehistorycomesin,“saidSancho。
“Atthesametimetheymightfairlyhavepassedthemoverinsilence,“observedDonQuixote;“forthereisnoneedofrecordingeventswhichdonotchangeoraffectthetruthofahistory,iftheytendtobringtheheroofitintocontempt。AEneaswasnotintruthandearnestsopiousasVirgilrepresentshim,norUlyssessowiseasHomerdescribeshim。“
“Thatistrue,“saidSamson;“butitisonethingtowriteasapoet,anothertowriteasahistorian;thepoetmaydescribeorsingthings,notastheywere,butastheyoughttohavebeen;butthehistorianhastowritethemdown,notastheyoughttohavebeen,butastheywere,withoutaddinganythingtothetruthortakinganythingfromit。“
“Wellthen,“saidSancho,“ifthissenorMoorgoesinfortellingthetruth,nodoubtamongmymaster'sdrubbingsminearetobefound;fortheynevertookthemeasureofhisworship'sshoulderswithoutdoingthesameformywholebody;butIhavenorighttowonderatthat,for,asmymasterhimselfsays,themembersmustsharethepainofthehead。“
“Youareaslydog,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote;“i'faith,youhavenowantofmemorywhenyouchoosetoremember。“
“IfIweretotrytoforgetthethwackstheygaveme,“saidSancho,“mywealswouldnotletme,fortheyarestillfreshonmyribs。“
“Hush,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote,“anddon'tinterruptthebachelor,whomIentreattogoonandtellallthatissaidaboutmeinthishistory。“
“Andaboutme,“saidSancho,“fortheysay,too,thatIamoneoftheprincipalpresonagesinit。“
“Personages,notpresonages,friendSancho,“saidSamson。
“What!Anotherword-catcher!”saidSancho;“ifthat'stobethewayweshallnotmakeanendinalifetime。“
“MayGodshortenmine,Sancho,“returnedthebachelor,“ifyouarenotthesecondpersoninthehistory,andthereareevensomewhowouldratherhearyoutalkthanthecleverestinthewholebook;
thoughtherearesome,too,whosayyoushowedyourselfover-credulousinbelievingtherewasanypossibilityinthegovernmentofthatislandofferedyoubySenorDonQuixote。“
“Thereisstillsunshineonthewall,“saidDonQuixote;“andwhenSanchoissomewhatmoreadvancedinlife,withtheexperiencethatyearsbring,hewillbefitterandbetterqualifiedforbeingagovernorthanheisatpresent。“
“ByGod,master,“saidSancho,“theislandthatIcannotgovernwiththeyearsIhave,I'llnotbeabletogovernwiththeyearsofMethuselah;thedifficultyisthatthesaidislandkeepsitsdistancesomewhere,Iknownotwhere;andnotthatthereisanywantofheadinmetogovernit。“
“LeaveittoGod,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote,“forallwillbeandperhapsbetterthanyouthink;noleafonthetreestirsbutbyGod'swill。“
“Thatistrue,“saidSamson;“andifitbeGod'swill,therewillnotbeanywantofathousandislands,muchlessone,forSanchotogovern。“
“Ihaveseengovernorsintheseparts,“saidSancho,“thatarenottobecomparedtomyshoe-sole;andforallthattheyarecalled'yourlordship'andservedonsilver。“
“Thosearenotgovernorsofislands,“observedSamson,“butofothergovernmentsofaneasierkind:thosethatgovernislandsmustatleastknowgrammar。“
“Icouldmanagethegramwellenough,“saidSancho;“butforthemarIhaveneitherleaningnorliking,forIdon'tknowwhatitis;butleavingthismatterofthegovernmentinGod'shands,tosendmewhereveritmaybemosttohisservice,Imaytellyou,senorbachelorSamsonCarrasco,ithaspleasedmebeyondmeasurethattheauthorofthishistoryshouldhavespokenofmeinsuchawaythatwhatissaidofmegivesnooffence;for,onthefaithofatruesquire,ifhehadsaidanythingaboutmethatwasatallunbecominganoldChristian,suchasIam,thedeafwouldhaveheardofit。“
“Thatwouldbeworkingmiracles,“saidSamson。
“Miraclesornomiracles,“saidSancho,“leteveryonemindhowhespeaksorwritesaboutpeople,andnotsetdownatrandomthefirstthingthatcomesintohishead。“
“Oneofthefaultstheyfindwiththishistory,“saidthebachelor,“isthatitsauthorinsertedinitanovelcalled'TheIll-advisedCuriosity;'notthatitisbadorill-told,butthatitisoutofplaceandhasnothingtodowiththehistoryofhisworshipSenorDonQuixote。“
“Iwillbetthesonofadoghasmixedthecabbagesandthebaskets,“saidSancho。
“Then,Isay,“saidDonQuixote,“theauthorofmyhistorywasnosage,butsomeignorantchatterer,who,inahaphazardandheedlessway,setaboutwritingit,letitturnoutasitmight,justasOrbaneja,thepainterofUbeda,usedtodo,who,whentheyaskedhimwhathewaspainting,answered,'Whatitmayturnout。'Sometimeshewouldpaintacockinsuchafashion,andsounlike,thathehadtowritealongsideofitinGothicletters,'Thisisacock;andsoitwillbewithmyhistory,whichwillrequireacommentarytomakeitintelligible。“
“Nofearofthat,“returnedSamson,“foritissoplainthatthereisnothinginittopuzzleover;thechildrenturnitsleaves,theyoungpeoplereadit,thegrownmenunderstandit,theoldfolkpraiseit;inaword,itissothumbed,andread,andgotbyheartbypeopleofallsorts,thattheinstanttheyseeanyleanhack,theysay,'TheregoesRocinante。'Andthosethataremostgiventoreadingitarethepages,forthereisnotalord'sante-chamberwherethereisnota'DonQuixote'tobefound;onetakesitupifanotherlaysitdown;thisonepouncesuponit,andthatbegsforit。Inshort,thesaidhistoryisthemostdelightfulandleastinjuriousentertainmentthathasbeenhithertoseen,forthereisnottobefoundinthewholeofiteventhesemblanceofanimmodestword,orathoughtthatisotherthanCatholic。“
“Towriteinanyotherway,“saidDonQuixote,“wouldnotbetowritetruth,butfalsehood,andhistorianswhohaverecoursetofalsehoodoughttobeburned,likethosewhocoinfalsemoney;andI
knownotwhatcouldhaveledtheauthortohaverecoursetonovelsandirrelevantstories,whenhehadsomuchtowriteaboutinmine;nodoubthemusthavegonebytheproverb'withstraworwithhay,&c。,'forbymerelysettingforthmythoughts,mysighs,mytears,myloftypurposes,myenterprises,hemighthavemadeavolumeaslarge,orlargerthanalltheworksofElTostadowouldmakeup。Infact,theconclusionIarriveat,senorbachelor,is,thattowritehistories,orbooksofanykind,thereisneedofgreatjudgmentandaripeunderstanding。Togiveexpressiontohumour,andwriteinastrainofgracefulpleasantry,isthegiftofgreatgeniuses。Thecleverestcharacterincomedyistheclown,forhewhowouldmakepeopletakehimforafool,mustnotbeone。Historyisinameasureasacredthing,foritshouldbetrue,andwherethetruthis,thereGodis;butnotwithstandingthis,therearesomewhowriteandflingbooksbroadcastontheworldasiftheywerefritters。“
“Thereisnobooksobadbutithassomethinggoodinit,“saidthebachelor。
“Nodoubtofthat,“repliedDonQuixote;“butitoftenhappensthatthosewhohaveacquiredandattainedawell-deservedreputationbytheirwritings,loseitentirely,ordamageitinsomedegree,whentheygivethemtothepress。“
“Thereasonofthat,“saidSamson,“is,thatasprintedworksareexaminedleisurely,theirfaultsareeasilyseen;andthegreaterthefameofthewriter,themorecloselyaretheyscrutinised。Menfamousfortheirgenius,greatpoets,illustrioushistorians,arealways,ormostcommonly,enviedbythosewhotakeaparticulardelightandpleasureincriticisingthewritingsofothers,withouthavingproducedanyoftheirown。“
“Thatisnowonder,“saidDonQuixote;“fortherearemanydivineswhoarenogoodforthepulpit,butexcellentindetectingthedefectsorexcessesofthosewhopreach。“
“Allthatistrue,SenorDonQuixote,“saidCarrasco;“butIwishsuchfault-findersweremorelenientandlessexacting,anddidnotpaysomuchattentiontothespotsonthebrightsunoftheworktheygrumbleat;forifaliquandobonusdormitatHomerus,theyshouldrememberhowlongheremainedawaketoshedthelightofhisworkwithaslittleshadeaspossible;andperhapsitmaybethatwhattheyfindfaultwithmaybemoles,thatsometimesheightenthebeautyofthefacethatbearsthem;andsoIsayverygreatistherisktowhichhewhoprintsabookexposeshimself,forofallimpossibilitiesthegreatestistowriteonethatwillsatisfyandpleaseallreaders。“
“Thatwhichtreatsofmemusthavepleasedfew,“saidDonQuixote。
“Quitethecontrary,“saidthebachelor;“for,asstultoruminfinitumestnumerus,innumerablearethosewhohaverelishedthesaidhistory;butsomehavebroughtachargeagainsttheauthor'smemory,inasmuchasheforgottosaywhothethiefwaswhostoleSancho'sDapple;foritisnotstatedthere,butonlytobeinferredfromwhatissetdown,thathewasstolen,andalittlefartheronweseeSanchomountedonthesameass,withoutanyreappearanceofit。
Theysay,too,thatheforgottostatewhatSanchodidwiththosehundredcrownsthathefoundinthevaliseintheSierraMorena,asheneveralludestothemagain,andtherearemanywhowouldbegladtoknowwhathedidwiththem,orwhathespentthemon,foritisoneoftheseriousomissionsofthework。“
“SenorSamson,Iamnotinahumournowforgoingintoaccountsorexplanations,“saidSancho;“forthere'sasinkingofthestomachcomeoverme,andunlessIdoctoritwithacoupleofsupsoftheoldstuffitwillputmeonthethornofSantaLucia。Ihaveitathome,andmyoldwomaniswaitingforme;afterdinnerI'llcomeback,andwillansweryouandalltheworldeveryquestionyoumaychoosetoask,aswellaboutthelossoftheassasaboutthespendingofthehundredcrowns;“andwithoutanotherwordorwaitingforareplyhemadeoffhome。
DonQuixotebeggedandentreatedthebachelortostayanddopenancewithhim。Thebacheloracceptedtheinvitationandremained,acoupleofyoungpigeonswereaddedtotheordinaryfare,atdinnertheytalkedchivalry,Carrascofellinwithhishost'shumour,thebanquetcametoanend,theytooktheirafternoonsleep,Sanchoreturned,andtheirconversationwasresumed。
CHAPTERIV
INWHICHSANCHOPANZAGIVESASATISFACTORYREPLYTOTHEDOUBTSAND
QUESTIONSOFTHEBACHELORSAMSONCARRASCO,TOGETHERWITHOTHERMATTERS
WORTHKNOWINGANDTELLING
SANCHOcamebacktoDonQuixote'shouse,andreturningtothelatesubjectofconversation,hesaid,“AstowhatSenorSamsonsaid,thathewouldliketoknowbywhom,orhow,orwhenmyasswasstolen,IsayinreplythatthesamenightwewentintotheSierraMorena,flyingfromtheHolyBrotherhoodafterthatunluckyadventureofthegalleyslaves,andtheotherofthecorpsethatwasgoingtoSegovia,mymasterandIensconcedourselvesinathicket,andthere,mymasterleaningonhislance,andIseatedonmyDapple,batteredandwearywiththelatefrayswefellasleepasifithadbeenonfourfeathermattresses;andIinparticularsleptsosound,that,whoeverhewas,hewasabletocomeandpropmeuponfourstakes,whichheputunderthefourcornersofthepack-saddleinsuchawaythatheleftmemountedonit,andtookawayDapplefromundermewithoutmyfeelingit。“
“Thatisaneasymatter,“saidDonQuixote,“anditisnonewoccurrence,forthesamethinghappenedtoSacripanteatthesiegeofAlbracca;thefamousthief,Brunello,bythesamecontrivance,tookhishorsefrombetweenhislegs。“
“Daycame,“continuedSancho,“andthemomentIstirredthestakesgavewayandIfelltothegroundwithamightycomedown;Ilookedaboutfortheass,butcouldnotseehim;thetearsrushedtomyeyesandIraisedsuchalamentationthat,iftheauthorofourhistoryhasnotputitin,hemaydependuponithehasleftoutagoodthing。Somedaysafter,Iknownothowmany,travellingwithherladyshipthePrincessMicomicona,Isawmyass,andmounteduponhim,inthedressofagipsy,wasthatGinesdePasamonte,thegreatrogueandrascalthatmymasterandIfreedfromthechain。“
“Thatisnotwherethemistakeis,“repliedSamson;“itis,thatbeforetheasshasturnedup,theauthorspeaksofSanchoasbeingmountedonit。“
“Idon'tknowwhattosaytothat,“saidSancho,“unlessthatthehistorianmadeamistake,orperhapsitmightbeablunderoftheprinter's。“
“Nodoubtthat'sit,“saidSamson;“butwhatbecameofthehundredcrowns?Didtheyvanish?”
TowhichSanchoanswered,“Ispentthemformyowngood,andmywife's,andmychildren's,anditistheythathavemademywifebearsopatientlyallmywanderingsonhighwaysandbyways,intheserviceofmymaster,DonQuixote;forifafterallthistimeIhadcomebacktothehousewithoutarapandwithouttheass,itwouldhavebeenapoorlook-outforme;andifanyonewantstoknowanythingmoreaboutme,hereIam,readytoanswerthekinghimselfinperson;anditisnoaffairofanyone'swhetherItookordidnottake,whetherIspentordidnotspend;forthewhacksthatweregivenmeinthesejourneysweretobepaidforinmoney,eveniftheywerevaluedatnomorethanfourmaravedisapiece,anotherhundredcrownswouldnotpaymeforhalfofthem。Leteachlooktohimselfandnottrytomakeoutwhiteblack,andblackwhite;foreachofusisasGodmadehim,aye,andoftenworse。“
“Iwilltakecare,“saidCarrasco,“toimpressupontheauthorofthehistorythat,ifheprintsitagain,hemustnotforgetwhatworthySanchohassaid,foritwillraiseitagoodspanhigher。“
“Isthereanythingelsetocorrectinthehistory,senorbachelor?”askedDonQuixote。
“Nodoubtthereis,“repliedhe;“butnotanythingthatwillbeofthesameimportanceasthoseIhavementioned。“
“Doestheauthorpromiseasecondpartatall?”saidDonQuixote。
“Hedoespromiseone,“repliedSamson;“buthesayshehasnotfoundit,nordoesheknowwhohasgotit;andwecannotsaywhetheritwillappearornot;andso,onthathead,assomesaythatnosecondparthaseverbeengood,andothersthatenoughhasbeenalreadywrittenaboutDonQuixote,itisthoughttherewillbenosecondpart;
thoughsome,whoarejovialratherthansaturnine,say,'LetushavemoreQuixotades,letDonQuixotechargeandSanchochatter,andnomatterwhatitmayturnout,weshallbesatisfiedwiththat。'“
“Andwhatdoestheauthormeantodo?”saidDonQuixote。
“What?”repliedSamson;“why,assoonashehasfoundthehistorywhichheisnowsearchingforwithextraordinarydiligence,hewillatoncegiveittothepress,movedmorebytheprofitthatmayaccruetohimfromdoingsothanbyanythoughtofpraise。“
WhereatSanchoobserved,“Theauthorlooksformoneyandprofit,doeshe?Itwillheawonderifhesucceeds,foritwillbeonlyhurry,hurry,withhim,likethetailoronEasterEve;andworksdoneinahurryareneverfinishedasperfectlyastheyoughttobe。
LetmasterMoor,orwhateverheis,payattentiontowhatheisdoing,andIandmymasterwillgivehimasmuchgroutingreadytohishand,inthewayofadventuresandaccidentsofallsorts,aswouldmakeupnotonlyonesecondpart,butahundred。Thegoodmanfancies,nodoubt,thatwearefastasleepinthestrawhere,butlethimholdupourfeettobeshodandhewillseewhichfootitiswegolameon。AllIsayis,thatifmymasterwouldtakemyadvice,wewouldbenowafield,redressingoutragesandrightingwrongs,asistheuseandcustomofgoodknights-errant。“
SanchohadhardlyutteredthesewordswhentheneighingofRocinantefellupontheirears,whichneighingDonQuixoteacceptedasahappyomen,andheresolvedtomakeanothersallyinthreeorfourdaysfromthattime。Announcinghisintentiontothebachelor,heaskedhisadviceastothequarterinwhichheoughttocommencehisexpedition,andthebachelorrepliedthatinhisopinionheoughttogotothekingdomofAragon,andthecityofSaragossa,wherethereweretobecertainsolemnjoustingsatthefestivalofSt。George,atwhichhemightwinrenownabovealltheknightsofAragon,whichwouldbewinningitabovealltheknightsoftheworld。Hecommendedhisverypraiseworthyandgallantresolution,butadmonishedhimtoproceedwithgreatercautioninencounteringdangers,becausehislifedidnotbelongtohim,buttoallthosewhohadneedofhimtoprotectandaidthemintheirmisfortunes。
“There'swhereitis,whatIabominate,SenorSamson,“saidSanchohere;“mymasterwillattackahundredarmedmenasagreedyboywouldhalfadozenmelons。Bodyoftheworld,senorbachelor!thereisatimetoattackandatimetoretreat,anditisnottobealways'Santiago,andcloseSpain!'Moreover,IhavehearditsaidandI
thinkbymymasterhimself,ifIrememberrightlythatthemeanofvalourliesbetweentheextremesofcowardiceandrashness;andifthatbeso,Idon'twanthimtoflywithouthavinggoodreason,ortoattackwhentheoddsmakeitbetternot。But,aboveallthings,I
warnmymasterthatifheistotakemewithhimitmustbeontheconditionthatheistodoallthefighting,andthatIamnottobecalledupontodoanythingexceptwhatconcernskeepinghimcleanandcomfortable;inthisIwilldanceattendanceonhimreadily;buttoexpectmetodrawsword,evenagainstrascallychurlsofthehatchetandhood,isidle。Idon'tsetuptobeafightingman,SenorSamson,butonlythebestandmostloyalsquirethateverservedknight-errant;andifmymasterDonQuixote,inconsiderationofmymanyfaithfulservices,ispleasedtogivemesomeislandofthemanyhisworshipsaysonemaystumbleonintheseparts,Iwilltakeitasagreatfavour;andifhedoesnotgiveittome,Iwasbornlikeeveryoneelse,andamanmustnotliveindependenceonanyoneexceptGod;andwhatismore,mybreadwilltasteaswell,andperhapsevenbetter,withoutagovernmentthanifIwereagovernor;andhowdoIknowbutthatinthesegovernmentsthedevilmayhavepreparedsometripforme,tomakemelosemyfootingandfallandknockmygrindersout?SanchoIwasbornandSanchoImeantodie。Butforallthat,ifheavenweretomakemeafairofferofanislandorsomethingelseofthekind,withoutmuchtroubleandwithoutmuchrisk,Iamnotsuchafoolastorefuseit;fortheysay,too,'whentheyoffertheeaheifer,runwithahalter;and'whengoodluckcomestothee,takeitin。'“
“BrotherSancho,“saidCarrasco,“youhavespokenlikeaprofessor;but,forallthat,putyourtrustinGodandinSenorDonQuixote,forhewillgiveyouakingdom,nottosayanisland。“
“Itisallthesame,beitmoreorbeitless,“repliedSancho;
“thoughIcantellSenorCarrascothatmymasterwouldnotthrowthekingdomhemightgivemeintoasackallinholes;forIhavefeltmyownpulseandIfindmyselfsoundenoughtorulekingdomsandgovernislands;andIhavebeforenowtoldmymasterasmuch。“
“Takecare,Sancho,“saidSamson;“honourschangemanners,andperhapswhenyoufindyourselfagovernoryouwon'tknowthemotherthatboreyou。“
“Thatmayholdgoodofthosethatarebornintheditches,“saidSancho,“notofthosewhohavethefatofanoldChristianfourfingersdeepontheirsouls,asIhave。Nay,onlylookatmydisposition,isthatlikelytoshowingratitudetoanyone?”
“Godgrantit,“saidDonQuixote;“weshallseewhenthegovernmentcomes;andIseemtoseeitalready。“
Hethenbeggedthebachelor,ifhewereapoet,todohimthefavourofcomposingsomeversesforhimconveyingthefarewellhemeanttotakeofhisladyDulcineadelToboso,andtoseethataletterofhernamewasplacedatthebeginningofeachline,sothat,attheendoftheverses,“DulcineadelToboso“mightbereadbyputtingtogetherthefirstletters。ThebachelorrepliedthatalthoughhewasnotoneofthefamouspoetsofSpain,whowere,theysaid,onlythreeandahalf,hewouldnotfailtocomposetherequiredverses;thoughhesawagreatdifficultyinthetask,astheletterswhichmadeupthenamewereseventeen;so,ifhemadefourballadstanzasoffourlineseach,therewouldbealetterover,andifhemadethemoffive,whattheycalleddecimasorredondillas,therewerethreelettersshort;neverthelesshewouldtrytodropaletteraswellashecould,sothatthename“DulcineadelToboso“mightbegotintofourballadstanzas。
“Itmustbe,bysomemeansorother,“saidDonQuixote,“forunlessthenamestandsthereplainandmanifest,nowomanwouldbelievetheversesweremadeforher。“
Theyagreeduponthis,andthatthedepartureshouldtakeplaceinthreedaysfromthattime。DonQuixotechargedthebachelortokeepitasecret,especiallyfromthecurateandMasterNicholas,andfromhisnieceandthehousekeeper,lesttheyshouldpreventtheexecutionofhispraiseworthyandvaliantpurpose。Carrascopromisedall,andthentookhisleave,chargingDonQuixotetoinformhimofhisgoodorevilfortuneswheneverhehadanopportunity;andthustheybadeeachotherfarewell,andSanchowentawaytomakethenecessarypreparationsfortheirexpedition。
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