首页 >出版文学> DON QUIXOTE>第26章

第26章

  CHAPTERXLIX
  OFWHATHAPPENEDSANCHOINMAKINGTHEROUNDOFHISISLAND
  WEleftthegreatgovernorangeredandirritatedbythatportrait-paintingrogueofafarmerwho,instructedthemajordomo,asthemajordomowasbytheduke,triedtopractiseuponhim;hehowever,fool,boor,andclownashewas,heldhisownagainstthemall,sayingtothoseroundhimandtoDoctorPedroRecio,whoassoonastheprivatebusinessoftheduke'sletterwasdisposedofhadreturnedtotheroom,“NowIseeplainlyenoughthatjudgesandgovernorsoughttobeandmustbemadeofbrassnottofeeltheimportunitiesoftheapplicantsthatatalltimesandallseasonsinsistonbeingheard,andhavingtheirbusinessdespatched,andtheirownaffairsandnoothersattendedto,comewhatmay;andifthepoorjudgedoesnothearthemandsettlethematter-eitherbecausehecannotorbecausethatisnotthetimesetapartforhearingthem-
  forthwiththeyabusehim,andrunhimdown,andgnawathisbones,andevenpickholesinhispedigree。Yousilly,stupidapplicant,don'tbeinahurry;waitforthepropertimeandseasonfordoingbusiness;
  don'tcomeatdinner-hour,oratbed-time;forjudgesareonlyfleshandblood,andmustgivetoNaturewhatshenaturallydemandsofthem;
  allexceptmyself,forinmycaseIgivehernothingtoeat,thankstoSenorDoctorPedroRecioTirteafuerahere,whowouldhavemedieofhunger,anddeclaresthatdeathtobelife;andthesamesortoflifemayGodgivehimandallhiskind-Imeanthebaddoctors;forthegoodonesdeservepalmsandlaurels。“
  AllwhoknewSanchoPanzawereastonishedtohearhimspeaksoelegantly,anddidnotknowwhattoattributeittounlessitwerethatofficeandgraveresponsibilityeithersmartenorstupefymen'swits。AtlastDoctorPedroRecioAgilersofTirteafuerapromisedtolethimhavesupperthatnightthoughitmightbeincontraventionofalltheaphorismsofHippocrates。Withthisthegovernorwassatisfiedandlookedforwardtotheapproachofnightandsupper-timewithgreatanxiety;andthoughtime,tohismind,stoodstillandmadenoprogress,neverthelessthehourhesolongedforcame,andtheygavehimabeefsaladwithonionsandsomeboiledcalves'feetratherfargone。AtthishefelltowithgreaterrelishthaniftheyhadgivenhimfrancolinsfromMilan,pheasantsfromRome,vealfromSorrento,partridgesfromMoron,orgeesefromLavajos,andturningtothedoctoratsupperhesaidtohim,“Lookhere,senordoctor,forthefuturedon'ttroubleyourselfaboutgivingmedaintythingsorchoicedishestoeat,foritwillbeonlytakingmystomachoffitshinges;itisaccustomedtogoat,cow,bacon,hungbeef,turnipsandonions;andifbyanychanceitisgiventhesepalacedishes,itreceivesthemsqueamishly,andsometimeswithloathing。Whatthehead-carverhadbestdoistoservemewithwhattheycallollaspodridasandtherottenertheyarethebettertheysmell;andhecanputwhateverhelikesintothem,solongasitisgoodtoeat,andI'llbeobligedtohim,andwillrequitehimsomeday。Butletnobodyplaypranksonme,foreitherweareorwearenot;letusliveandeatinpeaceandgood-fellowship,forwhenGodsendsthedawn,besendsitforall。Imeantogovernthisislandwithoutgivinguparightortakingabribe;leteveryonekeephiseyeopen,andlookoutforthearrow;forIcantellthem'thedevil'sinCantillana,'andiftheydrivemetoitthey'llseesomethingthatwillastonishthem。Nay!makeyourselfhoneyandtheflieseatyou。“
  “Ofatruth,senorgovernor,“saidthecarver,“yourworshipisintherightofitineverythingyouhavesaid;andIpromiseyouinthenameofalltheinhabitantsofthisislandthattheywillserveyourworshipwithallzeal,affection,andgood-will,forthemildkindofgovernmentyouhavegivenasampleoftobeginwith,leavesthemnogroundfordoingorthinkinganythingtoyourworship'sdisadvantage。“
  “ThatIbelieve,“saidSancho;“andtheywouldbegreatfoolsiftheydidorthoughtotherwise;oncemoreIsay,seetomyfeedingandmyDapple'sforthatisthegreatpointandwhatismosttothepurpose;andwhenthehourcomesletusgotherounds,foritismyintentiontopurgethisislandofallmannerofuncleannessandofallidlegood-for-nothingvagabonds;forIwouldhaveyouknowthatlazyidlersarethesamethinginaStateasthedronesinahive,thateatupthehoneytheindustriousbeesmake。Imeantoprotectthehusbandman,topreservetothegentlemanhisprivileges,torewardthevirtuous,andabovealltorespectreligionandhonouritsministers。Whatsayyoutothat,myfriends?IsthereanythinginwhatIsay,oramItalkingtonopurpose?”
  “Thereissomuchinwhatyourworshipsays,senorgovernor,“saidthemajordomo,“thatIamfilledwithwonderwhenIseeamanlikeyourworship,entirelywithoutlearningforIbelieveyouhavenoneatall,saysuchthings,andsofullofsoundmaximsandsageremarks,verydifferentfromwhatwasexpectedofyourworship'sintelligencebythosewhosentusorbyuswhocamehere。Everydayweseesomethingnewinthisworld;jokesbecomerealities,andthejokersfindthetablesturneduponthem。“
  Nightcame,andwiththepermissionofDoctorPedroRecio,thegovernorhadsupper。Theythengotreadytogotherounds,andhestartedwiththemajordomo,thesecretary,thehead-carver,thechroniclerchargedwithrecordinghisdeeds,andalguacilsandnotariesenoughtoformafair-sizedsquadron。InthemidstmarchedSanchowithhisstaff,asfineasightasonecouldwishtosee,andbutafewstreetsofthetownhadbeentraversedwhentheyheardanoiseasofaclashingofswords。Theyhastenedtothespot,andfoundthatthecombatantswerebuttwo,whoseeingtheauthoritiesapproachingstoodstill,andoneofthemexclaimed,“Help,inthenameofGodandtheking!Arementoheallowedtorobinthemiddleofthistown,andrushoutandattackpeopleintheverystreets?”
  “Becalm,mygoodman,“saidSancho,“andtellmewhatthecauseofthisquarrelis;forIamthegovernor。“
  Saidtheothercombatant,“Senorgovernor,Iwilltellyouinaveryfewwords。Yourworshipmustknowthatthisgentlemanhasjustnowwonmorethanathousandrealsinthatgamblinghouseopposite,andGodknowshow。Iwasthere,andgavemorethanonedoubtfulpointinhisfavour,verymuchagainstwhatmyconsciencetoldme。Hemadeoffwithhiswinnings,andwhenImadesurehewasgoingtogivemeacrownorsoatleastbywayofapresent,asitisusualandcustomarytogivemenofqualityofmysortwhostandbytoseefairorfoulplay,andbackupswindles,andpreventquarrels,hepocketedhismoneyandleftthehouse。IndignantatthisIfollowedhim,andspeakinghimfairlyandcivillyaskedhimtogivemeifitwereonlyeightreals,forheknowsIamanhonestmanandthatIhaveneitherprofessionnorproperty,formyparentsneverbroughtmeuptoanyorleftmeany;buttherogue,whoisagreaterthiefthanCacusandagreatersharperthanAndradilla,wouldnotgivememorethanfourreals;soyourworshipmayseehowlittleshameandconsciencehehas。
  ButbymyfaithifyouhadnotcomeupI'dhavemadehimdisgorgehiswinnings,andhe'dhavelearnedwhattherangeofthesteel-yardwas。“
  “Whatsayyoutothis?”askedSancho。Theotherrepliedthatallhisantagonistsaidwastrue,andthathedidnotchoosetogivehimmorethanfourrealsbecauseheveryoftengavehimmoney;andthatthosewhoexpectedpresentsoughttobecivilandtakewhatisgiventhemwithacheerfulcountenance,andnotmakeanyclaimagainstwinnersunlesstheyknowthemforcertaintobesharpersandtheirwinningstobeunfairlywon;andthattherecouldbenobetterproofthathehimselfwasanhonestmanthanhishavingrefusedtogiveanything;forsharpersalwayspaytributetolookers-onwhoknowthem。
  “Thatistrue,“saidthemajordomo;“letyourworshipconsiderwhatistobedonewiththesemen。“
  “Whatistobedone,“saidSancho,“isthis;you,thewinner,beyougood,bad,orindifferent,givethisassailantofyoursahundredrealsatonce,andyoumustdisbursethirtymoreforthepoorprisoners;andyouwhohaveneitherprofessionnorproperty,andhangabouttheislandinidleness,takethesehundredrealsnow,andsometimeofthedayto-morrowquittheislandundersentenceofbanishmentfortenyears,andunderpainofcompletingitinanotherlifeifyouviolatethesentence,forI'llhangyouonagibbet,oratleastthehangmanwillbymyorders;notawordfromeitherofyou,orI'llmakehimfeelmyhand。“
  Theonepaiddownthemoneyandtheothertookit,andthelatterquittedtheisland,whiletheotherwenthome;andthenthegovernorsaid,“EitherIamnotgoodformuch,orI'llgetridofthesegamblinghouses,foritstrikesmetheyareverymischievous。“
  “Thisoneatleast,“saidoneofthenotaries,“yourworshipwillnotbeabletogetridof,foragreatmanownsit,andwhatheloseseveryyearisbeyondallcomparisonmorethanwhathemakesbythecards。Ontheminorgamblinghousesyourworshipmayexerciseyourpower,anditistheythatdomostharmandshelterthemostbarefacedpractices;forinthehousesoflordsandgentlemenofqualitythenotorioussharpersdarenotattempttoplaytheirtricks;andastheviceofgamblinghasbecomecommon,itisbetterthatmenshouldplayinhousesofreputethaninsometradesman's,wheretheycatchanunluckyfellowinthesmallhoursofthemorningandskinhimalive。“
  “Iknowalready,notary,thatthereisagooddealtohesaidonthatpoint,“saidSancho。
  Andnowatipstaffcameupwithayoungmaninhisgrasp,andsaid,“Senorgovernor,thisyouthwascomingtowardsus,andassoonashesawtheofficersofjusticeheturnedaboutandranlikeadeer,asureproofthathemustbesomeevil-doer;Iranafterhim,andhaditnotbeenthathestumbledandfell,Ishouldneverhavecaughthim。“
  “Whatdidyourunfor,fellow?”saidSancho。
  Towhichtheyoungmanreplied,“Senor,itwastoavoidansweringallthequestionsofficersofjusticeput。“
  “Whatareyoubytrade?”
  “Aweaver。“
  “Andwhatdoyouweave?”
  “Lanceheads,withyourworship'sgoodleave。“
  “You'refacetiouswithme!Youplumeyourselfonbeingawag?Verygood;andwherewereyougoingjustnow?”
  “Totaketheair,senor。“
  “Andwheredoesonetaketheairinthisisland?”
  “Whereitblows。“
  “Good!youranswersareverymuchtothepoint;youareasmartyouth;buttakenoticethatIamtheair,andthatIblowuponyoua-stern,andsendyoutogaol。Hothere!layholdofhimandtakehimoff;I'llmakehimsleepthereto-nightwithoutair。“
  “ByGod,“saidtheyoungman,“yourworshipwillmakemesleepingaoljustassoonasmakemeking。“
  “Whyshan'tImaketheesleepingaol?”saidSancho。“HaveInotthepowertoarresttheeandreleasetheewheneverIlike?”
  “Allthepoweryourworshiphas,“saidtheyoungman,“won'tbeabletomakemesleepingaol。“
  “How?notable!”saidSancho;“takehimawayatoncewherehe'llseehismistakewithhisowneyes,evenifthegaoleriswillingtoexerthisinterestedgenerosityonhisbehalf;forI'lllayapenaltyoftwothousandducatsonhimifheallowshimtostirastepfromtheprison。“
  “That'sridiculous,“saidtheyoungman;“thefactis,allthemenonearthwillnotmakemesleepinprison。“
  “Tellme,youdevil,“saidSancho,“haveyougotanyangelthatwilldeliveryou,andtakeofftheironsIamgoingtoorderthemtoputuponyou?”
  “Now,senorgovernor,“saidtheyoungmaninasprightlymanner,“letusbereasonableandcometothepoint。Grantedyourworshipmayordermetobetakentoprison,andtohaveironsandchainsputonme,andtobeshutupinacell,andmaylayheavypenaltiesonthegaolerifheletsmeout,andthatheobeysyourorders;still,ifI
  don'tchoosetosleep,andchoosetoremainawakeallnightwithoutclosinganeye,willyourworshipwithallyourpowerbeabletomakemesleepifIdon'tchoose?”
  “No,truly,“saidthesecretary,“andthefellowhasmadehispoint。“
  “Sothen,“saidSancho,“itwouldbeentirelyofyourownchoiceyouwouldkeepfromsleeping;notinoppositiontomywill?”
  “No,senor,“saidtheyouth,“certainlynot。“
  “Wellthen,go,andGodbewithyou,“saidSancho;“beoffhometosleep,andGodgiveyousoundsleep,forIdon'twanttorobyouofit;butforthefuture,letmeadviseyoudon'tjokewiththeauthorities,becauseyoumaycomeacrosssomeonewhowillbringdownthejokeonyourownskull。“
  Theyoungmanwenthisway,andthegovernorcontinuedhisround,andshortlyafterwardstwotipstaffscameupwithamanincustody,andsaid,“Senorgovernor,thisperson,whoseemstobeaman,isnotso,butawoman,andnotanill-favouredone,inman'sclothes。“
  Theyraisedtwoorthreelanternstoherface,andbytheirlighttheydistinguishedthefeaturesofawomantoallappearanceoftheageofsixteenoralittlemore,withherhairgatheredintoagoldandgreensilknet,andfairasathousandpearls。Theyscannedherfromheadtofoot,andobservedthatshehadonredsilkstockingswithgartersofwhitetaffetyborderedwithgoldandpearl;herbreecheswereofgreenandgoldstuff,andunderanopenjacketorjerkinofthesamesheworeadoubletofthefinestwhiteandgoldcloth;hershoeswerewhiteandsuchasmenwear;shecarriednoswordatherbelt,butonlyarichlyornamenteddagger,andonherfingersshehadseveralhandsomerings。Inshort,thegirlseemedfairtolookatintheeyesofall,andnoneofthosewhobeheldherknewher,thepeopleofthetownsaidtheycouldnotimaginewhoshewas,andthosewhowereinthesecretofthejokesthatweretobepractiseduponSanchoweretheoneswhoweremostsurprised,forthisincidentordiscoveryhadnotbeenarrangedbythem;andtheywatchedanxiouslytoseehowtheaffairwouldend。
  Sanchowasfascinatedbythegirl'sbeauty,andheaskedherwhoshewas,whereshewasgoing,andwhathadinducedhertodressherselfinthatgarb。Shewithhereyesfixedonthegroundansweredinmodestconfusion,“Icannottellyou,senor,beforesomanypeoplewhatitisofsuchconsequencetometohavekeptsecret;onethingIwishtobeknown,thatIamnothieforevildoer,butonlyanunhappymaidenwhomthepowerofjealousyhasledtobreakthroughtherespectthatisduetomodesty。“
  HearingthisthemajordomosaidtoSancho,“Makethepeoplestandback,senorgovernor,thatthisladymaysaywhatshewisheswithlessembarrassment。“
  Sanchogavetheorder,andallexceptthemajordomo,thehead-carver,andthesecretaryfellback。Findingherselftheninthepresenceofnomore,thedamselwentontosay,“Iamthedaughter,sirs,ofPedroPerezMazorca,thewool-farmerofthistown,whoisinthehabitofcomingveryoftentomyfather'shouse。“
  “Thatwon'tdo,senora,“saidthemajordomo;“forIknowPedroPerezverywell,andIknowhehasnochildatall,eithersonordaughter;andbesides,thoughyousayheisyourfather,youaddthenthathecomesveryoftentoyourfather'shouse。“
  “Ihadalreadynoticedthat,“saidSancho。
  “Iamconfusedjustnow,sirs,“saidthedamsel,“andIdon'tknowwhatIamsaying;butthetruthisthatIamthedaughterofDiegodelaLlana,whomyoumustallknow。“
  “Ay,thatwilldo,“saidthemajordomo;“forIknowDiegodelaLlana,andknowthatheisagentlemanofpositionandarichman,andthathehasasonandadaughter,andthatsincehewasleftawidowernobodyinallthistowncanspeakofhavingseenhisdaughter'sface;forhekeepshersocloselyshutupthathedoesnotgiveeventhesunachanceofseeingher;andforallthatreportsayssheisextremelybeautiful。“
  “Itistrue,“saidthedamsel,“andIamthatdaughter;whetherreportliesornotastomybeauty,you,sirs,willhavedecidedbythistime,asyouhaveseenme;“andwiththisshebegantoweepbitterly。
  Onseeingthisthesecretaryleantovertothehead-carver'sear,andsaidtohiminalowvoice,“Somethingserioushasnodoubthappenedthispoormaiden,thatshegoeswanderingfromhomeinsuchadressandatsuchanhour,andoneofherranktoo。““Therecanbenodoubtaboutit,“returnedthecarver,“andmoreoverhertearsconfirmyoursuspicion。“Sanchogaveherthebestcomforthecould,andentreatedhertotellthemwithoutanyfearwhathadhappenedher,astheywouldallearnestlyandbyeverymeansintheirpowerendeavourtorelieveher。
  “Thefactis,sirs,“saidshe,“thatmyfatherhaskeptmeshutupthesetenyears,forsolongisitsincetheearthreceivedmymother。
  Massissaidathomeinasumptuouschapel,andallthistimeIhaveseenbutthesunintheheavenbyday,andthemoonandthestarsbynight;nordoIknowwhatstreetsarelike,orplazas,orchurches,orevenmen,exceptmyfatherandabrotherIhave,andPedroPerezthewool-farmer;whom,becausehecamefrequentlytoourhouse,Itookitintomyheadtocallmyfather,toavoidnamingmyown。Thisseclusionandtherestrictionslaiduponmygoingout,wereitonlytochurch,havebeenkeepingmeunhappyformanyadayandmonthpast;
  Ilongedtoseetheworld,oratleastthetownwhereIwasborn,anditdidnotseemtomethatthiswishwasinconsistentwiththerespectmaidensofgoodqualityshouldhaveforthemselves。WhenI
  heardthemtalkingofbull-fightstakingplace,andofjavelingames,andofactingplays,Iaskedmybrother,whoisayearyoungerthanmyself,totellmewhatsortofthingsthesewere,andmanymorethatIhadneverseen;heexplainedthemtomeaswellashecould,buttheonlyeffectwastokindleinmeastillstrongerdesiretoseethem。Atlast,tocutshortthestoryofmyruin,Ibeggedandentreatedmybrother-OthatIhadnevermadesuchanentreaty-“
  Andoncemoreshegavewaytoaburstofweeping。
  “Proceed,senora,“saidthemajordomo,“andfinishyourstoryofwhathashappenedtoyou,foryourwordsandtearsarekeepingusallinsuspense。“
  “Ihavebutlittlemoretosay,thoughmanyateartoshed,“saidthedamsel;“forill-placeddesirescanonlybepaidforinsomesuchway。“
  Themaiden'sbeautyhadmadeadeepimpressiononthehead-carver'sheart,andheagainraisedhislanternforanotherlookather,andthoughttheywerenottearsshewasshedding,butseed-pearlordewofthemeadow,nay,heexaltedthemstillhigher,andmadeOrientalpearlsofthem,andferventlyhopedhermisfortunemightnotbesogreataoneashertearsandsobsseemedtoindicate。Thegovernorwaslosingpatienceatthelengthoftimethegirlwastakingtotellherstory,andtoldhernottokeepthemwaitinganylonger;foritwaslate,andtherestillremainedagooddealofthetowntobegoneover。
  She,withbrokensobsandhalf-suppressedsighs,wentontosay,“Mymisfortune,mymisadventure,issimplythis,thatIentreatedmybrothertodressmeupasamaninasuitofhisclothes,andtakemesomenight,whenourfatherwasasleep,toseethewholetown;
  he,overcomebymyentreaties,consented,anddressingmeinthissuitandhimselfinclothesofminethatfittedhimasifmadeforhimforhehasnotahaironhischin,andmightpassforaverybeautifulyounggirl,to-night,aboutanhourago,moreorless,weleftthehouse,andguidedbyouryouthfulandfoolishimpulsewemadethecircuitofthewholetown,andthen,aswewereabouttoreturnhome,wesawagreattroopofpeoplecoming,andmybrothersaidtome,'Sister,thismustbetheround,stiryourfeetandputwingstothem,andfollowmeasfastasyoucan,lesttheyrecogniseus,forthatwouldbeabadbusinessforus;'andsosayingheturnedaboutandbegan,Icannotsaytorunbuttofly;inlessthansixpacesI
  fellfromfright,andthentheofficerofjusticecameupandcarriedmebeforeyourworships,whereIfindmyselfputtoshamebeforeallthesepeopleaswhimsicalandvicious。“
  “Sothen,senora,“saidSancho,“noothermishaphasbefallenyou,norwasitjealousythatmadeyouleavehome,asyousaidatthebeginningofyourstory?”
  “Nothinghashappenedme,“saidshe,“norwasitjealousythatbroughtmeout,butmerelyalongingtoseetheworld,whichdidnotgobeyondseeingthestreetsofthistown。“
  Theappearanceofthetipstaffswithherbrotherincustody,whomoneofthemhadovertakenasheranawayfromhissister,nowfullyconfirmedthetruthofwhatthedamselsaid。Hehadnothingonbutarichpetticoatandashortbluedamaskcloakwithfinegoldlace,andhisheadwasuncoveredandadornedonlywithitsownhair,whichlookedlikeringsofgold,sobrightandcurlywasit。Thegovernor,themajordomo,andthecarverwentasidewithhim,and,unheardbyhissister,askedhimhowhecametobeinthatdress,andhewithnolessshameandembarrassmenttoldexactlythesamestoryashissister,tothegreatdelightoftheenamouredcarver;thegovernor,however,saidtothem,“Intruth,youngladyandgentleman,thishasbeenaverychildishaffair,andtoexplainyourfollyandrashnesstherewasnonecessityforallthisdelayandallthesetearsandsighs;forifyouhadsaidweareso-and-so,andweescapedfromourfather'shouseinthiswayinordertorambleabout,outofmerecuriosityandwithnootherobject,therewouldhavebeenanendofthematter,andnoneoftheselittlesobsandtearsandalltherestofit。“
  “Thatistrue,“saidthedamsel,“butyouseetheconfusionIwasinwassogreatitdidnotletmebehaveasIought。“
  “Noharmhasbeendone,“saidSancho;“come,wewillleaveyouatyourfather'shouse;perhapstheywillnothavemissedyou;andanothertimedon'tbesochildishoreagertoseetheworld;forarespectabledamselshouldhaveabrokenlegandkeepathome;andthewomanandthehenbygaddingaboutaresoonlost;andshewhoiseagertoseeisalsoeagertobeseen;Isaynomore。“
  Theyouththankedthegovernorforhiskindoffertotakethemhome,andtheydirectedtheirstepstowardsthehouse,whichwasnotfaroff。Onreachingittheyouththrewapebbleupatagrating,andimmediatelyawoman-servantwhowaswaitingforthemcamedownandopenedthedoortothem,andtheywentin,leavingthepartymarvellingasmuchattheirgraceandbeautyasatthefancytheyhadforseeingtheworldbynightandwithoutquittingthevillage;
  which,however,theysetdowntotheiryouth。
  Thehead-carverwasleftwithaheartpiercedthroughandthrough,andhemadeuphismindonthespottodemandthedamselinmarriageofherfatheronthemorrow,makingsureshewouldnotberefusedhimashewasaservantoftheduke's;andeventoSanchoideasandschemesofmarryingtheyouthtohisdaughterSanchicasuggestedthemselves,andheresolvedtoopenthenegotiationattheproperseason,persuadinghimselfthatnohusbandcouldberefusedtoagovernor'sdaughter。Andsothenight'sroundcametoanend,andacoupleofdayslaterthegovernment,wherebyallhisplanswereoverthrownandsweptaway,aswillbeseenfartheron。
  CHAPTERL
  WHEREINISSETFORTHWHOTHEENCHANTERSANDEXECUTIONERSWEREWHO
  FLOGGEDTHEDUENNAANDPINCHEDDONQUIXOTE,ANDALSOWHATBEFELLTHE
  PAGEWHOCARRIEDTHELETTERTOTERESAPANZA,SANCHOPANZA'SWIFE
  CIDEHAMETE,thepainstakinginvestigatoroftheminutepointsofthisveracioushistory,saysthatwhenDonaRodriguezleftherownroomtogotoDonQuixote's,anotherduennawhosleptwithherobservedher,andasallduennasarefondofprying,listening,andsniffing,shefollowedhersosilentlythatthegoodRodriguezneverperceivedit;andassoonastheduennasawherenterDonQuixote'sroom,nottofailinaduenna'sinvariablepracticeoftattling,shehurriedoffthatinstanttoreporttotheduchesshowDonaRodriguezwasclosetedwithDonQuixote。Theduchesstoldtheduke,andaskedhimtoletherandAltisidoragoandseewhatthesaidduennawantedwithDonQuixote。Thedukegavethemleave,andthepaircautiouslyandquietlycrepttothedooroftheroomandpostedthemselvessoclosetoitthattheycouldhearallthatwassaidinside。ButwhentheduchessheardhowtheRodriguezhadmadepublictheAranjuezofherissuesshecouldnotrestrainherself,norAltisidoraeither;
  andso,filledwithrageandthirstingforvengeance,theyburstintotheroomandtormentedDonQuixoteandfloggedtheduennainthemanneralreadydescribed;forindignitiesofferedtotheircharmsandself-esteemmightilyprovoketheangerofwomenandmakethemeagerforrevenge。Theduchesstoldthedukewhathadhappened,andhewasmuchamusedbyit;andshe,inpursuanceofherdesignofmakingmerryanddivertingherselfwithDonQuixote,despatchedthepagewhohadplayedthepartofDulcineainthenegotiationsforherdisenchantmentwhichSanchoPanzainthecaresofgovernmenthadforgottenallabouttoTeresaPanzahiswifewithherhusband'sletterandanotherfromherself,andalsoagreatstringoffinecoralbeadsasapresent。
  Nowthehistorysaysthispagewasverysharpandquick-witted;
  andeagertoservehislordandladyhesetoffverywillinglyforSancho'svillage。Beforeheentereditheobservedanumberofwomenwashinginabrook,andaskedthemiftheycouldtellhimwhethertherelivedthereawomanofthenameofTeresaPanza,wifeofoneSanchoPanza,squiretoaknightcalledDonQuixoteofLaMancha。Atthequestionayounggirlwhowaswashingstoodupandsaid,“TeresaPanzaismymother,andthatSanchoismyfather,andthatknightisourmaster。“
  “Wellthen,miss,“saidthepage,“comeandshowmewhereyourmotheris,forIbringheraletterandapresentfromyourfather。“
  “ThatIwillwithallmyheart,senor,“saidthegirl,whoseemedtobeaboutfourteen,moreorless;andleavingtheclothesshewaswashingtooneofhercompanions,andwithoutputtinganythingonherheadorfeet,forshewasbare-leggedandhadherhairhangingabouther,awaysheskippedinfrontofthepage'shorse,saying,“Come,yourworship,ourhouseisattheentranceofthetown,andmymotheristhere,sorrowfulenoughatnothavinghadanynewsofmyfatherthiseversolong。“
  “Well,“saidthepage,“IambringinghersuchgoodnewsthatshewillhavereasontothankGod。“
  Andthen,skipping,running,andcapering,thegirlreachedthetown,butbeforegoingintothehouseshecalledoutatthedoor,“Comeout,motherTeresa,comeout,comeout;here'sagentlemanwithlettersandotherthingsfrommygoodfather。“AtthesewordshermotherTeresaPanzacameoutspinningabundleofflax,inagreypetticoatsoshortwasitonewouldhavefancied“theytohershamehadcutitshort“,agreybodiceofthesamestuff,andasmock。
  Shewasnotveryold,thoughplainlypastforty,strong,healthy,vigorous,andsun-dried;andseeingherdaughterandthepageonhorseback,sheexclaimed,“What'sthis,child?Whatgentlemanisthis?”
  “Aservantofmylady,DonaTeresaPanza,“repliedthepage;andsuitingtheactiontothewordheflunghimselfoffhishorse,andwithgreathumilityadvancedtokneelbeforetheladyTeresa,saying,“Letmekissyourhand,SenoraDonaTeresa,asthelawfulandonlywifeofSenorDonSanchoPanza,rightfulgovernoroftheislandofBarataria。“
  “Ah,senor,getup,dothat,“saidTeresa;“forI'mnotabitofacourtlady,butonlyapoorcountrywoman,thedaughterofaclodcrusher,andthewifeofasquire-errantandnotofanygovernoratall。“
  “Youare,“saidthepage,“themostworthywifeofamostarch-worthygovernor;andasaproofofwhatIsayacceptthisletterandthispresent;“andatthesametimehetookoutofhispocketastringofcoralbeadswithgoldclasps,andplaceditonherneck,andsaid,“Thisletterisfromhislordshipthegovernor,andtheotheraswellasthesecoralbeadsfrommyladytheduchess,whosendsmetoyourworship。“
  Teresastoodlostinastonishment,andherdaughterjustasmuch,andthegirlsaid,“MayIdiebutourmasterDonQuixote'satthebottomofthis;hemusthavegivenfatherthegovernmentorcountyhesooftenpromisedhim。“
  “Thatisthetruth,“saidthepage;“foritisthroughSenorDonQuixotethatSenorSanchoisnowgovernoroftheislandofBarataria,aswillbeseenbythisletter。“
  “Willyourworshipreadittome,noblesir?”saidTeresa;“forthoughIcanspinIcan'tread,notascrap。“
  “NorIeither,“saidSanchica;“butwaitabit,andI'llgoandfetchsomeonewhocanreadit,eitherthecuratehimselforthebachelorSamsonCarrasco,andthey'llcomegladlytohearanynewsofmyfather。“
  “Thereisnoneedtofetchanybody,“saidthepage;“forthoughI
  can'tspinIcanread,andI'llreadit;“andsohereaditthrough,butasithasbeenalreadygivenitisnotinsertedhere;andthenhetookouttheotheronefromtheduchess,whichranasfollows:
  FriendTeresa,-YourhusbandSancho'sgoodqualities,ofheartaswellasofhead,inducedandcompelledmetorequestmyhusbandtheduketogivehimthegovernmentofoneofhismanyislands。Iamtoldhegovernslikeagerfalcon,ofwhichIamveryglad,andmylordtheduke,ofcourse,also;andIamverythankfultoheaventhatI
  havenotmadeamistakeinchoosinghimforthatsamegovernment;
  forIwouldhaveSenoraTeresaknowthatagoodgovernorishardtofindinthisworldandmayGodmakemeasgoodasSancho'swayofgoverning。HerewithIsendyou,mydear,astringofcoralbeadswithgoldclasps;IwishtheywereOrientalpearls;but“hewhogivestheeabonedoesnotwishtoseetheedead;“atimewillcomewhenweshallbecomeacquaintedandmeetoneanother,butGodknowsthefuture。CommendmetoyourdaughterSanchica,andtellherfrommetoholdherselfinreadiness,forImeantomakeahighmatchforherwhensheleastexpectsit。Theytellmetherearebigacornsinyourvillage;sendmeacoupleofdozenorso,andIshallvaluethemgreatlyascomingfromyourhand;andwritetomeatlengthtoassuremeofyourhealthandwell-being;andiftherebeanythingyoustandinneedof,itisbuttoopenyourmouth,andthatshallbethemeasure;andsoGodkeepyou。
  Fromthisplace。
  Yourlovingfriend,THEDUCHESS。
  “Ah,whatagood,plain,lowlylady!”saidTeresawhensheheardtheletter;“thatImaybeburiedwithladiesofthatsort,andnotthegentlewomenwehaveinthistown,thatfancybecausetheyaregentlewomenthewindmustnottouchthem,andgotochurchwithasmuchairsasiftheywerequeens,noless,andseemtothinktheyaredisgracediftheylookatafarmer'swife!Andseeherehowthisgoodlady,forallshe'saduchess,callsme'friend,'andtreatsmeasifIwasherequal-andequalmayIseeherwiththetallestchurch-towerinLaMancha!Andasfortheacorns,senor,I'llsendherladyshipapeckandsuchbigonesthatonemightcometoseethemasashowandawonder。Andnow,Sanchica,seethatthegentlemaniscomfortable;putuphishorse,andgetsomeeggsoutofthestable,andcutplentyofbacon,andlet'sgivehimhisdinnerlikeaprince;forthegoodnewshehasbrought,andhisownbonnyfacedeserveitall;andmeanwhileI'llrunoutandgivetheneighboursthenewsofourgoodluck,andfathercurate,andMasterNicholasthebarber,whoareandalwayshavebeensuchfriendsofthyfather's。“
  “ThatIwill,mother,“saidSanchica;“butmind,youmustgivemehalfofthatstring;forIdon'tthinkmyladytheduchesscouldhavebeensostupidastosenditalltoyou。“
  “Itisallforthee,mychild,“saidTeresa;“butletmewearitroundmyneckforafewdays;forverilyitseemstomakemyheartglad。“
  “Youwillbegladtoo,“saidthepage,“whenyouseethebundlethereisinthisportmanteau,foritisasuitofthefinestcloth,thatthegovernoronlyworeonedayouthuntingandnowsends,allforSenoraSanchica。“
  “Mayheliveathousandyears,“saidSanchica,“andthebearerasmany,naytwothousand,ifneedful。“
  WiththisTeresahurriedoutofthehousewiththeletters,andwiththestringofbeadsroundherneck,andwentalongthrummingthelettersasiftheywereatambourine,andbychancecomingacrossthecurateandSamsonCarrascoshebegancaperingandsaying,“Noneofuspoornow,faith!We'vegotalittlegovernment!Ay,letthefinestfineladytackleme,andI'llgiveherasettingdown!”
  “What'sallthis,TeresaPanza,“saidthey;“whatmadnessisthis,andwhatpapersarethose?”
  “Themadnessisonlythis,“saidshe,“thatthesearethelettersofduchessesandgovernors,andtheseIhaveonmyneckarefinecoralbeads,withave-mariasandpaternostersofbeatengold,andIamagoverness。“
  “Godhelpus,“saidthecurate,“wedon'tunderstandyou,Teresa,orknowwhatyouaretalkingabout。“
  “There,youmayseeityourselves,“saidTeresa,andshehandedthemtheletters。
  ThecuratereadthemoutforSamsonCarrascotohear,andSamsonandheregardedoneanotherwithlooksofastonishmentatwhattheyhadread,andthebacheloraskedwhohadbroughttheletters。Teresainreplybadethemcomewithhertoherhouseandtheywouldseethemessenger,amostelegantyouth,whohadbroughtanotherpresentwhichwasworthasmuchmore。Thecuratetookthecoralbeadsfromherneckandexaminedthemagainandagain,andhavingsatisfiedhimselfastotheirfinenesshefelltowonderingafresh,andsaid,“BythegownIwearIdon'tknowwhattosayorthinkoftheselettersandpresents;ontheonehandIcanseeandfeelthefinenessofthesecoralbeads,andontheotherIreadhowaduchesssendstobegforacoupleofdozenofacorns。“
  “Squarethatifyoucan,“saidCarrasco;“well,let'sgoandseethemessenger,andfromhimwe'lllearnsomethingaboutthismysterythathasturnedup。“
  Theydidso,andTeresareturnedwiththem。Theyfoundthepagesiftingalittlebarleyforhishorse,andSanchicacuttingarasherofbacontobepavedwitheggsforhisdinner。Hislooksandhishandsomeapparelpleasedthembothgreatly;andaftertheyhadsalutedhimcourteously,andhethem,Samsonbeggedhimtogivethemhisnews,aswellofDonQuixoteasofSanchoPanza,for,hesaid,thoughtheyhadreadthelettersfromSanchoandherladyshiptheduchess,theywerestillpuzzledandcouldnotmakeoutwhatwasmeantbySancho'sgovernment,andaboveallofanisland,whenallormostofthoseintheMediterraneanbelongedtohisMajesty。
  Tothisthepagereplied,“AstoSenorSanchoPanza'sbeingagovernorthereisnodoubtwhatever;butwhetheritisanislandornotthathegoverns,withthatIhavenothingtodo;sufficeitthatitisatownofmorethanathousandinhabitants;withregardtotheacornsImaytellyoumyladytheduchessissounpretendingandunassumingthat,nottospeakofsendingtobegforacornsfromapeasantwoman,shehasbeenknowntosendtoaskfortheloanofacombfromoneofherneighbours;forIwouldhaveyourworshipsknowthattheladiesofAragon,thoughtheyarejustasillustrious,arenotsopunctiliousandhaughtyastheCastilianladies;theytreatpeoplewithgreaterfamiliarity。“
  InthemiddleofthisconversationSanchicacameinwithherskirtfullofeggs,andsaidshetothepage,“Tellme,senor,doesmyfatherweartrunk-hosesincehehasbeengovernor?”
  “Ihavenotnoticed,“saidthepage;“butnodoubthewearsthem。“
  “Ah!myGod!”saidSanchica,“whatasightitmustbetoseemyfatherintights!Isn'titoddthateversinceIwasbornIhavehadalongingtoseemyfatherintrunk-hose?”
  “Asthingsgoyouwillseethatifyoulive,“saidthepage;“byGodheisinthewaytotaketheroadwithasunshadeifthegovernmentonlylastshimtwomonthsmore。“
  Thecurateandthebachelorcouldseeplainlyenoughthatthepagespokeinawaggishvein;butthefinenessofthecoralbeads,andthehuntingsuitthatSanchosentforTeresahadalreadyshownittothemdidawaywiththeimpression;andtheycouldnothelplaughingatSanchica'swish,andstillmorewhenTeresasaid,“Senorcurate,lookaboutifthere'sanybodyheregoingtoMadridorToledo,tobuymeahoopedpetticoat,aproperfashionableoneofthebestquality;forindeedandindeedImustdohonourtomyhusband'sgovernmentaswellasIcan;nay,ifIamputtoitandhaveto,I'llgotoCourtandsetacoachlikealltheworld;forshewhohasagovernorforherhusbandmayverywellhaveoneandkeepone。“
  “Andwhynot,mother!”saidSanchica;“wouldtoGoditwereto-dayinsteadofto-morrow,eventhoughtheyweretosaywhentheysawmeseatedinthecoachwithmymother,'Seethatrubbish,thatgarlic-stuffedfellow'sdaughter,howshegoesstretchedathereaseinacoachasifshewasashe-pope!'Butletthemtrampthroughthemud,andletmegoinmycoachwithmyfeetofftheground。Badlucktobackbitersallovertheworld;'letmegowarmandthepeoplemaylaugh。'DoIsayright,mother?”
  “Tobesureyoudo,mychild,“saidTeresa;“andallthisgoodluck,andevenmore,mygoodSanchoforetoldme;andthouwiltsee,mydaughter,hewon'tstoptillhehasmademeacountess;fortomakeabeginningiseverythinginluck;andasIhaveheardthygoodfathersaymanyatimeforbesidesbeingthyfatherhe'sthefatherofproverbstoo,'Whentheyoffertheeaheifer,runwithahalter;whentheyoffertheeagovernment,takeit;whentheywouldgivetheeacounty,seizeit;whentheysay,“Here,here!”totheewithsomethinggood,swallowit。'Ohno!gotosleep,anddon'tanswerthestrokesofgoodfortuneandtheluckychancesthatareknockingatthedoorofyourhouse!”
  “AndwhatdoIcare,“addedSanchica,“whetheranybodysayswhenheseesmeholdingmyheadup,'Thedogsawhimselfinhempenbreeches,'andtherestofit?”
  Hearingthisthecuratesaid,“IdobelievethatallthisfamilyofthePanzasarebornwithasackfulofproverbsintheirinsides,everyoneofthem;Ineversawoneofthemthatdoesnotpourthemoutatalltimesandonalloccasions。“
  “Thatistrue,“saidthepage,“forSenorGovernorSanchouttersthemateveryturn;andthoughagreatmanyofthemarenottothepurpose,stilltheyamuseone,andmyladytheduchessandthedukepraisethemhighly。“
  “ThenyoustillmaintainthatallthisaboutSancho'sgovernmentistrue,senor,“saidthebachelor,“andthatthereactuallyisaduchesswhosendshimpresentsandwritestohim?Becausewe,althoughwehavehandledthepresentandreadtheletters,don'tbelieveitandsuspectittobesomethinginthelineofourfellow-townsmanDonQuixote,whofanciesthateverythingisdonebyenchantment;andforthisreasonIamalmostreadytosaythatI'dliketotouchandfeelyourworshiptoseewhetheryouareamereambassadoroftheimaginationoramanoffleshandblood。“
  “AllIknow,sirs,“repliedthepage,“isthatIamarealambassador,andthatSenorSanchoPanzaisgovernorasamatteroffact,andthatmylordandladythedukeandduchesscangive,andhavegivenhimthissamegovernment,andthatIhaveheardthesaidSanchoPanzabearshimselfverystoutlytherein;whethertherebeanyenchantmentinallthisornot,itisforyourworshipstosettlebetweenyou;forthat'sallIknowbytheoathIswear,andthatisbythelifeofmyparentswhomIhavestillalive,andlovedearly。“
  “Itmaybeso,“saidthebachelor;“butdubitatAugustinus。“
  “Doubtwhowill,“saidthepage;“whatIhavetoldyouisthetruth,andthatwillalwaysriseabovefalsehoodasoilabovewater;ifnotoperibuscredite,etnonverbis。Letoneofyoucomewithme,andhewillseewithhiseyeswhathedoesnotbelievewithhisears。“
  “It'sformetomakethattrip,“saidSanchica;“takemewithyou,senor,behindyouonyourhorse;forI'llgowithallmyhearttoseemyfather。“
  “Governors'daughters,“saidthepage,“mustnottravelalongtheroadsalone,butaccompaniedbycoachesandlittersandagreatnumberofattendants。“
  “ByGod,“saidSanchica,“Icangojustaswellmountedonashe-assasinacoach;whatadaintylassyoumusttakemefor!”
  “Hush,girl,“saidTeresa;“youdon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout;thegentlemanisquiteright,for'asthetimesothebehaviour;'whenitwasSanchoitwas'Sancha;'whenitisgovernorit's'senora;'Idon'tknowifI'mright。“
  “SenoraTeresasaysmorethansheisawareof,“saidthepage;
  “andnowgivemesomethingtoeatandletmegoatonce,forImeantoreturnthisevening。“
  “Comeanddopenancewithme,“saidthecurateatthis;“forSenoraTeresahasmorewillthanmeanstoservesoworthyaguest。“
  Thepagerefused,buthadtoconsentatlastforhisownsake;andthecuratetookhimhomewithhimverygladly,inordertohaveanopportunityofquestioninghimatleisureaboutDonQuixoteandhisdoings。ThebachelorofferedtowritethelettersinreplyforTeresa;
  butshedidnotcaretolethimmixhimselfupinheraffairs,forshethoughthimsomewhatgiventojoking;andsoshegaveacakeandacoupleofeggstoayoungacolytewhowasapenman,andhewroteforhertwoletters,oneforherhusbandandtheotherfortheduchess,dictatedoutofherownhead,whicharenottheworstinsertedinthisgreathistory,aswillbeseenfartheron。
  CHAPTERLI
  OFTHEPROGRESSOFSANCHO'SGOVERNMENT,ANDOTHERSUCH
  ENTERTAININGMATTERS
  DAYcameafterthenightofthegovernor'sround;anightwhichthehead-carverpassedwithoutsleeping,sowerehisthoughtsofthefaceandairandbeautyofthedisguiseddamsel,whilethemajordomospentwhatwasleftofitinwritinganaccounttohislordandladyofallSanchosaidanddid,beingasmuchamazedathissayingsasathisdoings,fortherewasamixtureofshrewdnessandsimplicityinallhiswordsanddeeds。Thesenorgovernorgotup,andbyDoctorPedroRecio'sdirectionstheymadehimbreakhisfastonalittleconserveandfoursupsofcoldwater,whichSanchowouldhavereadilyexchangedforapieceofbreadandabunchofgrapes;butseeingtherewasnohelpforit,hesubmittedwithnolittlesorrowofheartanddiscomfortofstomach;PedroReciohavingpersuadedhimthatlightanddelicatedietenlivenedthewits,andthatwaswhatwasmostessentialforpersonsplacedincommandandinresponsiblesituations,wheretheyhavetoemploynotonlythebodilypowersbutthoseofthemindalso。
  BymeansofthissophistrySanchowasmadetoendurehunger,andhungersokeenthatinhishearthecursedthegovernment,andevenhimwhohadgivenittohim;however,withhishungerandhisconserveheundertooktodeliverjudgmentsthatday,andthefirstthingthatcamebeforehimwasaquestionthatwassubmittedtohimbyastranger,inthepresenceofthemajordomoandtheotherattendants,anditwasinthesewords:“Senor,alargeriverseparatedtwodistrictsofoneandthesamelordship-willyourworshippleasetopayattention,forthecaseisanimportantandaratherknottyone?
  Wellthen,onthisrivertherewasabridge,andatoneendofitagallows,andasortoftribunal,wherefourjudgescommonlysattoadministerthelawwhichthelordofriver,bridgeandthelordshiphadenacted,andwhichwastothiseffect,'Ifanyonecrossesbythisbridgefromonesidetotheotherheshalldeclareonoathwhereheisgoingtoandwithwhatobject;andifheswearstruly,heshallbeallowedtopass,butiffalsely,heshallbeputtodeathforitbyhangingonthegallowserectedthere,withoutanyremission。'Thoughthelawanditsseverepenaltywereknown,manypersonscrossed,butintheirdeclarationsitwaseasytoseeatoncetheyweretellingthetruth,andthejudgesletthempassfree。
  Ithappened,however,thatoneman,whentheycametotakehisdeclaration,sworeandsaidthatbytheoathhetookhewasgoingtodieuponthatgallowsthatstoodthere,andnothingelse。Thejudgesheldaconsultationovertheoath,andtheysaid,'Ifweletthismanpassfreehehasswornfalsely,andbythelawheoughttodie;
  butifwehanghim,ashesworehewasgoingtodieonthatgallows,andthereforesworethetruth,bythesamelawheoughttogofree。'
  Itisaskedofyourworship,senorgovernor,whatarethejudgestodowiththisman?Fortheyarestillindoubtandperplexity;andhavingheardofyourworship'sacuteandexaltedintellect,theyhavesentmetoentreatyourworshipontheirbehalftogiveyouropiniononthisveryintricateandpuzzlingcase。“
  TothisSanchomadeanswer,“Indeedthosegentlementhejudgesthatsendyoutomemighthavesparedthemselvesthetrouble,forI
  havemoreoftheobtusethantheacuteinme;butrepeatthecaseoveragain,sothatImayunderstandit,andthenperhapsImaybeabletohitthepoint。“
  Thequeristrepeatedagainandagainwhathehadsaidbefore,andthenSanchosaid,“ItseemstomeIcansetthematterrightinamoment,andinthisway;themanswearsthatheisgoingtodieuponthegallows;butifhediesuponit,hehasswornthetruth,andbythelawenacteddeservestogofreeandpassoverthebridge;butiftheydon'thanghim,thenhehasswornfalsely,andbythesamelawdeservestobehanged。“
  “Itisasthesenorgovernorsays,“saidthemessenger;“andasregardsacompletecomprehensionofthecase,thereisnothinglefttodesireorhesitateabout。“
  “WellthenIsay,“saidSancho,“thatofthismantheyshouldletpassthepartthathassworntruly,andhangthepartthathaslied;
  andinthiswaytheconditionsofthepassagewillbefullycompliedwith。“
  “Butthen,senorgovernor,“repliedthequerist,“themanwillhavetobedividedintotwoparts;andifheisdividedofcoursehewilldie;andsononeoftherequirementsofthelawwillbecarriedout,anditisabsolutelynecessarytocomplywithit。“
  “Lookhere,mygoodsir,“saidSancho;“eitherI'manumskullorelsethereisthesamereasonforthispassengerdyingasforhislivingandpassingoverthebridge;forifthetruthsaveshimthefalsehoodequallycondemnshim;andthatbeingthecaseitismyopinionyoushouldsaytothegentlemenwhosentyoutomethatastheargumentsforcondemninghimandforabsolvinghimareexactlybalanced,theyshouldlethimpassfreely,asitisalwaysmorepraiseworthytodogoodthantodoevil;thisIwouldgivesignedwithmynameifIknewhowtosign;andwhatIhavesaidinthiscaseisnotoutofmyownhead,butoneofthemanypreceptsmymasterDonQuixotegavemethenightbeforeIlefttobecomegovernorofthisisland,thatcameintomymind,anditwasthis,thatwhentherewasanydoubtaboutthejusticeofacaseIshouldleantomercy;anditisGod'swillthatIshouldrecollectitnow,foritfitsthiscaseasifitwasmadeforit。“
  “Thatistrue,“saidthemajordomo;“andImaintainthatLycurgushimself,whogavelawstotheLacedemonians,couldnothavepronouncedabetterdecisionthanthegreatPanzahasgiven;letthemorning'saudienceclosewiththis,andIwillseethatthesenorgovernorhasdinnerentirelytohisliking。“
  “That'sallIaskfor-fairplay,“saidSancho;“givememydinner,andthenletitraincasesandquestionsonme,andI'lldespatchtheminatwinkling。“
  Themajordomokepthisword,forhefeltitagainsthisconsciencetokillsowiseagovernorbyhunger;particularlyasheintendedtohavedonewithhimthatsamenight,playingoffthelastjokehewascommissionedtopractiseuponhim。
  Itcametopass,then,thatafterhehaddinedthatday,inoppositiontotherulesandaphorismsofDoctorTirteafuera,astheyweretakingawaythecloththerecameacourierwithaletterfromDonQuixoteforthegovernor。Sanchoorderedthesecretarytoreadittohimself,andiftherewasnothinginitthatdemandedsecrecytoreaditaloud。Thesecretarydidso,andafterhehadskimmedthecontentshesaid,“Itmaywellbereadaloud,forwhatSenorDonQuixotewritestoyourworshipdeservestobeprintedorwritteninlettersofgold,anditisasfollows。“
  DONQUIXOTEOFLAMANCHA'SLETTERTOSANCHOPANZA,GOVERNOROFTHEISLANDOFBARATARIA。
  WhenIwasexpectingtohearofthystupiditiesandblunders,friendSancho,Ihavereceivedintelligenceofthydisplaysofgoodsense,forwhichIgivespecialthankstoheaventhatcanraisethepoorfromthedunghillandoffoolstomakewisemen。Theytellmethoudostgovernasifthouwertaman,andartamanasifthouwertabeast,sogreatisthehumilitywherewiththoudostcomportthyself。ButI
  wouldhavetheebearinmind,Sancho,thatveryoftenitisfittingandnecessaryfortheauthorityofofficetoresistthehumilityoftheheart;fortheseemlyarrayofonewhoisinvestedwithgravedutiesshouldbesuchastheyrequireandnotmeasuredbywhathisownhumbletastesmayleadhimtoprefer。Dresswell;astickdressedupdoesnotlooklikeastick;Idonotsaythoushouldstweartrinketsorfineraiment,orthatbeingajudgethoushouldstdresslikeasoldier,butthatthoushouldstarraythyselfintheapparelthyofficerequires,andthatatthesametimeitbeneatandhandsome。Towinthegood-willofthepeoplethougovernesttherearetwothings,amongothers,thatthoumustdo;oneistobeciviltoallthis,however,Itoldtheebefore,andtheothertotakecarethatfoodbeabundant,forthereisnothingthatvexestheheartofthepoormorethanhungerandhighprices。Makenotmanyproclamations;butthosethoumakesttakecarethattheybegoodones,andaboveallthattheybeobservedandcarriedout;forproclamationsthatarenotobservedarethesameasiftheydidnotexist;nay,theyencouragetheideathattheprincewhohadthewisdomandauthoritytomakethemhadnotthepowertoenforcethem;andlawsthatthreatenandarenotenforcedcometohelikethelog,thekingofthefrogs,thatfrightenedthematfirst,butthatintimetheydespisedandmountedupon。Beafathertovirtueandastepfathertovice。Benotalwaysstrict,noryetalwayslenient,butobserveameanbetweenthesetwoextremes,forinthatistheaimofwisdom。Visitthegaols,theslaughter-houses,andthemarket-places;forthepresenceofthegovernorisofgreatimportanceinsuchplaces;itcomfortstheprisonerswhoareinhopesofaspeedyrelease,itisthebugbearofthebutcherswhohavethentogivejustweight,anditistheterrorofthemarket-womenforthesamereason。Letitnotbeseenthatthouartevenifperchancethouart,whichIdonotbelieve
  covetous,afollowerofwomen,oraglutton;forwhenthepeopleandthosethathavedealingswiththeebecomeawareofthyspecialweaknesstheywillbringtheirbatteriestobearupontheeinthatquarter,tilltheyhavebroughttheedowntothedepthsofperdition。Considerandreconsider,conandconoveragaintheadvicesandtheinstructionsIgavetheebeforethydeparturehencetothygovernment,andthouwiltseethatinthem,ifthoudostfollowthem,thouhastahelpathandthatwilllightenfortheethetroublesanddifficultiesthatbesetgovernorsateverystep。Writetothylordandladyandshowthyselfgratefultothem,foringratitudeisthedaughterofpride,andoneofthegreatestsinsweknowof;andhewhoisgratefultothosewhohavebeengoodtohimshowsthathewillbesotoGodalsowhohasbestowedandstillbestowssomanyblessingsuponhim。
  MyladytheduchesssentoffamessengerwiththysuitandanotherpresenttothywifeTeresaPanza;weexpecttheanswereverymoment。I
  havebeenalittleindisposedthroughacertainscratchingIcameinfor,notverymuchtothebenefitofmynose;butitwasnothing;
  forifthereareenchanterswhomaltreatme,therearealsosomewhodefendme。LetmeknowifthemajordomowhoiswiththeehadanyshareintheTrifaldiperformance,asthoudidstsuspect;andkeepmeinformedofeverythingthathappensthee,asthedistanceissoshort;
  allthemoreasIamthinkingofgivingoververyshortlythisidlelifeIamnowleading,forIwasnotbornforit。AthinghasoccurredtomewhichIaminclinedtothinkwillputmeoutoffavourwiththedukeandduchess;butthoughIamsorryforitIdonotcare,forafterallImustobeymycallingratherthantheirpleasure,inaccordancewiththecommonsaying,amicusPlato,sedmagisamicaveritas。IquotethisLatintotheebecauseIconcludethatsincethouhastbeenagovernorthouwilthavelearnedit。Adieu;Godkeeptheefrombeinganobjectofpitytoanyone。
  Thyfriend,DONQUIXOTEOFLAMANCHA。
  Sancholistenedtotheletterwithgreatattention,anditwaspraisedandconsideredwisebyallwhoheardit;hethenroseupfromtable,andcallinghissecretaryshuthimselfinwithhiminhisownroom,andwithoutputtingitoffanylongersetaboutansweringhismasterDonQuixoteatonce;andhebadethesecretarywritedownwhathetoldhimwithoutaddingorsuppressinganything,whichhedid,andtheanswerwastothefollowingeffect。
  SANCHOPANZA'SLETTERTODONQUIXOTEOFLAMANCHA。
  ThepressureofbusinessissogreatuponmethatIhavenotimetoscratchmyheadoreventocutmynails;andIhavethemsolong-
  Godsendaremedyforit。Isaythis,masterofmysoul,thatyoumaynotbesurprisedifIhavenotuntilnowsentyouwordofhowI
  fare,wellorill,inthisgovernment,inwhichIamsufferingmorehungerthanwhenwetwowerewanderingthroughthewoodsandwastes。
  Mylordthedukewrotetometheotherdaytowarnmethatcertainspieshadgotintothisislandtokillme;butuptothepresentI
  havenotfoundoutanyexceptacertaindoctorwhoreceivesasalaryinthistownforkillingallthegovernorsthatcomehere;heiscalledDoctorPedroRecio,andisfromTirteafuera;soyouseewhatanamehehastomakemedreaddyingunderhishands。Thisdoctorsaysofhimselfthathedoesnotcurediseaseswhenthereareany,butpreventsthemcoming,andthemedicinesheusesaredietandmoredietuntilhebringsonedowntobarebones;asifleannesswasnotworsethanfever。
  Inshortheiskillingmewithhunger,andIamdyingmyselfofvexation;forwhenIthoughtIwascomingtothisgovernmenttogetmymeathotandmydrinkcool,andtakemyeasebetweenhollandsheetsonfeatherbeds,IfindIhavecometodopenanceasifIwasahermit;
  andasIdon'tdoitwillinglyIsuspectthatintheendthedevilwillcarrymeoff。
  SofarIhavenothandledanyduesortakenanybribes,andI
  don'tknowwhattothinkofit;forheretheytellmethatthegovernorsthatcometothisisland,beforeenteringithaveplentyofmoneyeithergiventothemorlenttothembythepeopleofthetown,andthatthisistheusualcustomnotonlyherebutwithallwhoenterupongovernments。
  LastnightgoingtheroundsIcameuponafairdamselinman'sclothes,andabrotherofhersdressedasawoman;myhead-carverhasfalleninlovewiththegirl,andhasinhisownmindchosenherforawife,sohesays,andIhavechosenyouthforason-in-law;
  to-daywearegoingtoexplainourintentionstothefatherofthepair,whoisoneDiegodelaLlana,agentlemanandanoldChristianasmuchasyouplease。
  Ihavevisitedthemarket-places,asyourworshipadvisesme,andyesterdayIfoundastall-keepersellingnewhazelnutsandprovedhertohavemixedabushelofoldemptyrottennutswithabushelofnew;Iconfiscatedthewholeforthechildrenofthecharity-school,whowillknowhowtodistinguishthemwellenough,andIsentencedhernottocomeintothemarket-placeforafortnight;theytoldmeI
  didbravely。Icantellyourworshipitiscommonlysaidinthistownthattherearenopeopleworsethanthemarket-women,fortheyareallbarefaced,unconscionable,andimpudent,andIcanwellbelieveitfromwhatIhaveseenoftheminothertowns。
  IamverygladmyladytheduchesshaswrittentomywifeTeresaPanzaandsentherthepresentyourworshipspeaksof;andIwillstrivetoshowmyselfgratefulwhenthetimecomes;kissherhandsforme,andtellherIsayshehasnotthrownitintoasackwithaholeinit,asshewillseeintheend。Ishouldnotlikeyourworshiptohaveanydifferencewithmylordandlady;forifyoufalloutwiththemitisplainitmustdomeharm;andasyougivemeadvicetobegratefulitwillnotdoforyourworshipnottobesoyourselftothosewhohaveshownyousuchkindness,andbywhomyouhavebeentreatedsohospitablyintheircastle。
  ThataboutthescratchingIdon'tunderstand;butIsupposeitmustbeoneoftheill-turnsthewickedenchantersarealwaysdoingyourworship;whenwemeetIshallknowallaboutit。IwishIcouldsendyourworshipsomething;butIdon'tknowwhattosend,unlessitbesomeverycuriousclysterpipes,toworkwithbladders,thattheymakeinthisisland;butiftheofficeremainswithmeI'llfindoutsomethingtosend,onewayoranother。IfmywifeTeresaPanzawritestome,paythepostageandsendmetheletter,forIhaveaverygreatdesiretohearhowmyhouseandwifeandchildrenaregoingon。Andso,mayGoddeliveryourworshipfromevil-mindedenchanters,andbringmewellandpeacefullyoutofthisgovernment,whichIdoubt,forIexpecttotakeleaveofitandmylifetogether,fromthewayDoctorPedroReciotreatsme。
  Yourworship'sservantSANCHOPANZATHEGOVERNOR。
  Thesecretarysealedtheletter,andimmediatelydismissedthecourier;andthosewhowerecarryingonthejokeagainstSanchoputtingtheirheadstogetherarrangedhowhewastobedismissedfromthegovernment。Sanchospenttheafternoonindrawingupcertainordinancesrelatingtothegoodgovernmentofwhathefanciedtheisland;andheordainedthatthereweretobenoprovisionhuckstersintheState,andthatmenmightimportwineintoitfromanyplacetheypleased,providedtheydeclaredthequarteritcamefrom,sothatapricemightbeputuponitaccordingtoitsquality,reputation,andtheestimationitwasheldin;andhethatwateredhiswine,orchangedthename,wastoforfeithislifeforit。Hereducedthepricesofallmannerofshoes,boots,andstockings,butofshoesinparticular,astheyseemedtohimtorunextravagantlyhigh。Heestablishedafixedrateforservants'wages,whichwerebecomingrecklesslyexorbitant。Helaidextremelyheavypenaltiesuponthosewhosanglewdorloosesongseitherbydayornight。Hedecreedthatnoblindmanshouldsingofanymiracleinverse,unlesshecouldproduceauthenticevidencethatitwastrue,foritwashisopinionthatmostofthosetheblindmensingaretrumpedup,tothedetrimentofthetrueones。Heestablishedandcreatedanalguacilofthepoor,nottoharassthem,buttoexaminethemandseewhethertheyreallywereso;formanyasturdythiefordrunkardgoesaboutundercoverofamake-believecrippledlimborashamsore。
  Inaword,hemadesomanygoodrulesthattothisdaytheyarepreservedthere,andarecalledTheconstitutionsofthegreatgovernorSanchoPanza。
  CHAPTERLII
  WHEREINISRELATEDTHEADVENTUREOFTHESECONDDISTRESSEDOR
  AFFLICTEDDUENNA,OTHERWISECALLEDDONARODRIGUEZ
  CIDEHAMETErelatesthatDonQuixotebeingnowcuredofhisscratchesfeltthatthelifehewasleadinginthecastlewasentirelyinconsistentwiththeorderofchivalryheprofessed,sohedeterminedtoaskthedukeandduchesstopermithimtotakehisdepartureforSaragossa,asthetimeofthefestivalwasnowdrawingnear,andhehopedtowintherethesuitofarmourwhichistheprizeatfestivalsofthesort。Butonedayattablewiththedukeandduchess,justashewasabouttocarryhisresolutionintoeffectandaskfortheirpermission,loandbeholdsuddenlytherecameinthroughthedoorofthegreathalltwowomen,astheyafterwardsprovedtobe,drapedinmourningfromheadtofoot,oneofwhomapproachingDonQuixoteflungherselfatfulllengthathisfeet,pressingherlipstothem,andutteringmoanssosad,sodeep,andsodolefulthatsheputallwhoheardandsawherintoastateofperplexity;andthoughthedukeandduchesssupposeditmustbesomejoketheirservantswereplayingoffuponDonQuixote,stilltheearnestwaythewomansighedandmoanedandweptpuzzledthemandmadethemfeeluncertain,untilDonQuixote,touchedwithcompassion,raisedherupandmadeherunveilherselfandremovethemantlefromhertearfulface。Shecompliedanddisclosedwhatnoonecouldhaveeveranticipated,forshedisclosedthecountenanceofDonaRodriguez,theduennaofthehouse;theotherfemaleinmourningbeingherdaughter,whohadbeenmadeafoolofbytherichfarmer'sson。Allwhoknewherwerefilledwithastonishment,andthedukeandduchessmorethanany;
  forthoughtheythoughtherasimpletonandaweakcreature,theydidnotthinkhercapableofcrazypranks。DonaRodriguez,atlength,turningtohermasterandmistresssaidtothem,“Willyourexcellencesbepleasedtopermitmetospeaktothisgentlemanforamoment,foritisrequisiteIshoulddosoinordertogetsuccessfullyoutofthebusinessinwhichtheboldnessofanevil-mindedclownhasinvolvedme?”
  Thedukesaidthatforhisparthegaveherleave,andthatshemightspeakwithSenorDonQuixoteasmuchassheliked。
  Shethen,turningtoDonQuixoteandaddressingherselftohimsaid,“Somedayssince,valiantknight,Igaveyouanaccountoftheinjusticeandtreacheryofawickedfarmertomydearlybeloveddaughter,theunhappydamselherebeforeyou,andyoupromisedmetotakeherpartandrightthewrongthathasbeendoneher;butnowithascometomyhearingthatyouareabouttodepartfromthiscastleinquestofsuchfairadventuresasGodmayvouchsafetoyou;
  therefore,beforeyoutaketheroad,Iwouldthatyouchallengethisfrowardrustic,andcompelhimtomarrymydaughterinfulfillmentofthepromisehegavehertobecomeherhusbandbeforeheseducedher;fortoexpectthatmylordthedukewilldomejusticeistoaskpearsfromtheelmtree,forthereasonIstatedprivatelytoyourworship;andsomayourLordgrantyougoodhealthandforsakeusnot。“
  TothesewordsDonQuixoterepliedverygravelyandsolemnly,“Worthyduenna,checkyourtears,orratherdrythem,andspareyoursighs,forItakeituponmyselftoobtainredressforyourdaughter,forwhomitwouldhavebeenbetternottohavebeensoreadytobelievelovers'promises,whichareforthemostpartquicklymadeandveryslowlyperformed;andso,withmylordtheduke'sleave,Iwillatoncegoinquestofthisinhumanyouth,andwillfindhimoutandchallengehimandslayhim,ifsobeherefusestokeephispromisedword;forthechiefobjectofmyprofessionistosparethehumbleandchastisetheproud;Imean,tohelpthedistressedanddestroytheoppressors。“
  “Thereisnonecessity,“saidtheduke,“foryourworshiptotakethetroubleofseekingouttherusticofwhomthisworthyduennacomplains,noristhereanynecessity,either,foraskingmyleavetochallengehim;forIadmithimdulychallenged,andwilltakecarethatheisinformedofthechallenge,andacceptsit,andcomestoansweritinpersontothiscastleofmine,whereIshallaffordtobothafairfield,observingalltheconditionswhichareusuallyandproperlyobservedinsuchtrials,andobservingtoojusticetobothsides,asallprinceswhoofferafreefieldtocombatantswithinthelimitsoftheirlordshipsareboundtodo。“
  “Thenwiththatassuranceandyourhighness'sgoodleave,“saidDonQuixote,“Iherebyforthisoncewaivemyprivilegeofgentleblood,andcomedownandputmyselfonalevelwiththelowlybirthofthewrong-doer,makingmyselfequalwithhimandenablinghimtoenterintocombatwithme;andso,Ichallengeanddefyhim,thoughabsent,onthepleaofhismalfeasanceinbreakingfaithwiththispoordamsel,whowasamaidenandnowbyhismisdeedisnone;andsaythatheshallfulfillthepromisehegavehertobecomeherlawfulhusband,orelsestakehislifeuponthequestion。“
  Andthenpluckingoffaglovehethrewitdowninthemiddleofthehall,andthedukepickeditup,saying,ashehadsaidbefore,thatheacceptedthechallengeinthenameofhisvassal,andfixedsixdaysthenceasthetime,thecourtyardofthecastleastheplace,andforarmsthecustomaryonesofknights,lanceandshieldandfullarmour,withalltheotheraccessories,withouttrickery,guile,orcharmsofanysort,andexaminedandpassedbythejudgesofthefield。“Butfirstofall,“hesaid,“itisrequisitethatthisworthyduennaandunworthydamselshouldplacetheirclaimforjusticeinthehandsofDonQuixote;forotherwisenothingcanbedone,norcanthesaidchallengebebroughttoalawfulissue。“
  “Idosoplaceit,“repliedtheduenna。
  “AndItoo,“addedherdaughter,allintearsandcoveredwithshameandconfusion。
  Thisdeclarationhavingbeenmade,andthedukehavingsettledinhisownmindwhathewoulddointhematter,theladiesinblackwithdrew,andtheduchessgaveordersthatforthefuturetheywerenottobetreatedasservantsofhers,butasladyadventurerswhocametoherhousetodemandjustice;sotheygavethemaroomtothemselvesandwaitedonthemastheywouldonstrangers,totheconsternationoftheotherwomen-servants,whodidnotknowwherethefollyandimprudenceofDonaRodriguezandherunluckydaughterwouldstop。
  Andnow,tocompletetheenjoymentofthefeastandbringthedinnertoasatisfactoryend,loandbeholdthepagewhohadcarriedthelettersandpresentstoTeresaPanza,thewifeofthegovernorSancho,enteredthehall;andthedukeandduchesswereverywellpleasedtoseehim,beinganxioustoknowtheresultofhisjourney;butwhentheyaskedhimthepagesaidinreplythathecouldnotgiveitbeforesomanypeopleorinafewwords,andbeggedtheirexcellencestobepleasedtoletitwaitforaprivateopportunity,andinthemeantimeamusethemselveswiththeseletters;andtakingoutthelettersheplacedthemintheduchess'shand。Oneborebywayofaddress,LetterformyladytheDuchessSo-and-so,ofIdon'tknowwhere;andtheotherTomyhusbandSanchoPanza,governoroftheislandofBarataria,whomGodprosperlongerthanme。Theduchess'sbreadwouldnotbake,asthesayingis,untilshehadreadherletter;
  andhavinglookedoveritherselfandseenthatitmightbereadaloudforthedukeandallpresenttohear,shereadoutasfollows。
  TERESAPANZA'SLETTERTOTHEDUCHESS。
  Theletteryourhighnesswroteme,mylady,gavemegreatpleasure,forindeedIfounditverywelcome。Thestringofcoralbeadsisveryfine,andmyhusband'shuntingsuitdoesnotfallshortofit。AllthisvillageisverymuchpleasedthatyourladyshiphasmadeagovernorofmygoodmanSancho;thoughnobodywillbelieveit,particularlythecurate,andMasterNicholasthebarber,andthebachelorSamsonCarrasco;butIdon'tcareforthat,forsolongasitistrue,asitis,theymayallsaywhattheylike;though,totellthetruth,ifthecoralbeadsandthesuithadnotcomeI
  wouldnothavebelievediteither;forinthisvillageeverybodythinksmyhusbandanumskull,andexceptforgoverningaflockofgoats,theycannotfancywhatsortofgovernmenthecanbefitfor。