Theoldman'seyessweptthehorizon,thenheturnedtogoin,withoutmakinganotherobservation。Alllightseemedextinguishedinhimagain。WhenEdwardwentinhefoundhisfatherwiththebureauopen,unfoldingtheleaseswithashakinghand,foldingthemupagainwithoutreadingthem,thenputtingthemintheirnicheonlytoremovethemagain。
Adelaidewasintheroom。ShesaidthoughtfullytoEdward,asshewatchedthefarmer——
'Ihopeitwon'tkillpooruncle,Edward。Whatshouldwedoifanythingweretohappentohim?HeistheonlynearrelativeyouandIhaveintheworld。'Itwasperfectlytrue,andsomehowEdwardfeltmoreboundupwithherafterthatremark。
Shecontinued:'Andhewasonlysayingsohopefullythedaybeforethefire,thathewouldn'tfortheworldletanyoneelsegivemeawaytoyouwhenwearemarried。'
ForthefirsttimeaconscientiousdoubtaroseinEdward'smindastothejusticeofthecoursehewaspursuinginresolvingtorefusethealternativeofferedbyMissAldclyffe。Coulditbeselfishnessaswellasindependence?Howmuchhehadthoughtofhisownheart,howlittlehehadthoughtofhisfather'speaceofmind!
Theoldmandidnotspeakagaintillsupper-time,whenhebeganaskinghissonanendlessnumberofhypotheticalquestionsonwhatmightinduceMissAldclyffetolistentokinderterms;speakingofhernownotasanunfairwoman,butasaLachesisorFatewhosecourseitbehovednobodytocondemn。InhisearnestnessheonceturnedhiseyesonEdward'sface:theirexpressionwaswoful:thepupilsweredilatedandstrangeinaspect。
'Ifshewillonlyagreetothat!'hereiteratedforthehundredthtime,increasingthesadnessofhislisteners。
Anaristocraticknockingcametothedoor,andJaneenteredwithaletter,addressed——
'MR。EDWARDSPRINGROVE,Junior。'
'CharlesfromKnapwaterHousebroughtit,'shesaid。
'MissAldclyffe'swriting,'saidMr。Springrove,beforeEdwardhadrecognizedithimself。'Now'tisallright;she'sgoingtomakeanoffer;shedoesn'twantthehousesthere,notshe;theyaregoingtomakethatthewayintothepark。'
Edwardopenedthesealandglancedattheinside。Hesaid,withasupremeeffortofself-command——
'ItisonlydirectedbyMissAldclyffe,andreferstonothingconnectedwiththefire。Iwonderathertakingthetroubletosenditto-night。'
Hisfatherlookedabsentlyathimandturnedawayagain。Shortlyafterwardstheyretiredforthenight。AloneinhisbedroomEdwardopenedandreadwhathehadnotdaredtorefertointheirpresence。
TheenvelopecontainedanotherenvelopeinCytherea'shandwriting,addressedto'——Manston,Esq。,OldManorHouse。'Insidethiswasthenoteshehadwrittentothestewardafterherdetentioninhishousebythethunderstorm——
'KNAPWATERHOUSE,September20th。
'IfindIcannotmeetyouatseveno'clockbythewaterfallasI
promised。TheemotionIfeltmademeforgetfulofrealities。
'C。GRAYE。'
MissAldclyffehadnotwrittenaline,and,bytheunvaryingruleobservablewhenwordsarenotanabsolutenecessity,hersilenceseemedtentimesasconvincingasanyexpressionofopinioncouldhavebeen。
Hethen,stepbystep,recalledalltheconversationonthesubjectofCytherea'sfeelingsthathadpassedbetweenhimselfandMissAldclyffeintheafternoon,andbyaconfusionofthought,naturalenoughunderthetryingexperience,concludedthatbecausetheladywastruthfulinherportraitureofeffects,shemustnecessarilyberightinherassumptionofcauses。Thatis,hewasconvincedthatCytherea——thehitherto-believedfaithfulCytherea——had,atanyrate,lookedwithsomethingmorethanindifferenceupontheextremelyhandsomefaceandformofManston。
Didheblameher,asguiltyoftheimproprietyofallowingherselftolovethenewcomerinthefaceofhisnotbeingfreetoreturnherlove?No;neverforamomentdidhedoubtthatallhadoccurredinherold,innocent,impulsiveway;thatherheartwasgonebeforesheknewit——beforesheknewanything,beyondhisexistence,ofthemantowhomithadflown。Perhapstheverynoteenclosedtohimwastheresultoffirstreflection。Manstonhewouldunhesitatinglyhavecalledascoundrel,butforonestrikinglyredeemingfact。Ithadbeenpatenttothewholeparish,andhadcometoEdward'sownknowledgebythatindirectchannel,thatManston,asamarriedman,conscientiouslyavoidedCythereaafterthosefirstfewdaysofhisarrivalduringwhichherirresistiblybeautifulandfatalglanceshadresteduponhim——hisuponher。
Takingfromhiscoatacreasedandpocket-wornenvelopecontainingCytherea'slettertohimself,Springroveopeneditandreaditthrough。Hewasupbraidedtherein,andhewasdismissed。ItborethedateofthelettersenttoManston,andbycontainingwithinitthephrase,'AllthedaylongIhavebeenthinking,'affordedjustifiablegroundforassumingthatitwaswrittensubsequentlytotheotherandinEdward'ssightfarsweeteronetothesteward。
Butthoughheaccusedheroffickleness,hewouldnotdoubtthegenuineness,initskind,ofherpartialityforhimatBudmouth。Itwasashortandshallowfeeling——notperfectlove:
'LoveisnotloveWhichalterswhenitalterationfinds。'
Butitwasnotflirtation;afeelinghadbeenborninherandhaddied。Itwouldbewellforhispeaceofmindifhisloveforhercouldflitawaysosoftly,andleavesofewtracesbehind。
MissAldclyffehadshownherselfdesperatelyconcernedinthewholematterbythealacritywithwhichshehadobtainedtheletterfromManston,andherlabourstoinducehimselftomarryhiscousin。
Takeninconnectionwithherapparentinterestin,ifnotlovefor,Cytherea,hereagerness,too,couldonlybeaccountedforonthegroundthatCythereaindeedlovedthesteward。
5。DECEMBERTHEFOURTH
Edwardpassedthenighthescarcelyknewhow,tossingfeverishlyfromsidetoside,thebloodthrobbinginhistemples,andsinginginhisears。
Beforethedaybegantobreakhedressedhimself。Ongoingoutuponthelandinghefoundhisfather'sbedroomdooralreadyopen。Edwardconcludedthattheoldmanhadrisensoftly,aswashiswont,andgoneoutintothefieldstostartthelabourers。Butneitheroftheouterdoorswasunfastened。Heenteredthefrontroom,andfounditempty。Thenanimatedbyanewidea,hewentroundtothelittlebackparlour,inwhichthefewwreckssavedfromthefireweredeposited,andlookedinatthedoor。Here,nearthewindow,theshuttersofwhichhadbeenopenedhalfway,hesawhisfatherleaningonthebureau,hiselbowsrestingontheflap,hisbodynearlydoubled,hishandsclaspinghisforehead。Besidehimwereghostly-lookingsquarefoldsofparchment——theleasesofthehousesdestroyed。
HisfatherlookedupwhenEdwardentered,andwearilyspoketotheyoungmanashisfacecameintothefaintlight。
'Edward,whydidyougetupsoearly?'
'Iwasuneasy,andcouldnotsleep。'
Thefarmerturnedagaintotheleasesonthebureau,andseemedtobecomelostinreflection。Inaminuteortwo,withoutliftinghiseyes,hesaid——
'Thisismorethanwecanbear,Ted——morethanwecanbear!Ted,thiswillkillme。Notthelossonly——thesenseofmyneglectabouttheinsuranceandeverything。BorrowIneverwill。'Tisallmiserynow。Godhelpus——allmiserynow!'
Edwarddidnotanswer,continuingtolookfixedlyatthedrearydaylightoutside。
'Ted,'thefarmerwenton,'thisupsetofbe-enburntouto'homemakesmeverynervousanddoubtfulabouteverything。There'sthistroublesmebesides——ourlivenherewithyourcousin,andfillenupherhouse。Itmustbeveryawkwardforher。Butshesaysshedoesn'tmind。Haveyousaidanythingtoherlatelyaboutwhenyouaregoingtomarryher?'
'Nothingatalllately。'
'Well,perhapsyoumayaswell,nowwearesomixedintogether。
Youknow,notimehaseverbeenmentionedtoheratall,firstorlast,andIthinkitrightthatnow,sinceshehaswaitedsopatientlyandsolong——youarealmostcalledupontosayyouareready。Itwouldsimplifymattersverymuch,ifyouweretowalkuptochurchwi'heroneofthesemornings,getthethingdone,andgoonlivenhereasweare。Ifyoudon'tImustgetahouseallthesooner。Itwouldlightenmymind,too,aboutthetwolittlefreeholdsoverthehill——notamorsela-piece,dividedastheywerebetweenhermotherandme,butatidybittiedtogetheragain。Justthinkaboutit,willye,Ted?'
Hestoppedfromexhaustionproducedbytheintenseconcentrationofhisminduponthewearysubject,andlookedanxiouslyathisson。
'Yes,Iwill,'saidEdward。
'ButIamgoingtoseeheroftheGreatHousethismorning,'thefarmerwenton,histhoughtsrevertingtotheoldsubject。'Imustknowtherightsofthematter,thewhenandthewhere。Idon'tlikeseeingher,butI'drathertalktoherthanthesteward。Iwonderwhatshe'llsaytome。'
Theyoungermanknewexactlywhatshewouldsay。Ifhisfatheraskedherwhathewastodo,andwhen,shewouldsimplyreferhimtoManston:hercharacterwasnotthatofawomanwhoshrankfromapropositionshehadoncelaiddown。Ifhisfatherweretosaytoherthathissonhadatlastresolvedtomarryhiscousinwithintheyear,andhadgivenherapromisetothateffect,shewouldsay,'Mr。Springrove,thehousesareburnt:we'llletthemgo:troublenomoreaboutthem。'
Hismindwasalreadymadeup。Hesaidcalmly,'Father,whenyouaretalkingtoMissAldclyffe,mentiontoherthatIhaveaskedAdelaideifsheiswillingtomarrymenextChristmas。SheisinterestedinmyunionwithAdelaide,andthenewswillbewelcometoher。'
'Andyetshecanbeironwithreferencetomeandherproperty,'thefarmermurmured。'Verywell,Ted,I'lltellher。'
6。DECEMBERTHEFIFTH
Ofthemanycontradictoryparticularsconstitutingawoman'sheart,twohadshowntheirvigorouscontrastinCytherea'sbosomjustatthistime。
Itwasadarkmorning,themorningafteroldMr。Springrove'svisittoMissAldclyffe,whichhadterminatedasEdwardhadintended。
Havingrisenanhourearlierthanwasusualwithher,Cythereasatatthewindowofanelegantlittlesitting-roomonthegroundfloor,whichhadbeenappropriatedtoherbythekindnessorwhimofMissAldclyffe,thatshemightnotbedrivenintothatlady'spresenceagainstherwill。Sheleantwithherfaceonherhand,lookingoutintothegloomygreyair。Ayellowglimmerfromtheflappingflameofthenewly-litfireflutteredononesideofherfaceandnecklikeabutterflyabouttosettlethere,contrastingwarmlywiththeothersideofthesamefairface,whichreceivedfromthewindowthefaintcoldmorninglight,soweakthathershadowfromthefirehadadistinctoutlineonthewindow-shutterinspiteofit。Theretheshadowdancedlikeademon,blueandgrim。
ThecontradictionalludedtowasthatinspiteofthedecisivemoodwhichtwomonthsearlierintheyearhadcausedhertowriteaperemptoryandfinallettertoEdward,shewasnowhopingforsomeanswerotherthantheonlypossibleoneamanwho,assheheld,didnotloveherwildly,couldsendtosuchacommunication。Foraloverwhodidlovewildly,shehadleftonelittleloopholeinherotherwisestraightforwardepistle。Whysheexpectedtheletteronsomemorningofthisparticularweekwas,thathearingofhisreturntoCarriford,shefondlyassumedthathemeanttoaskforaninterviewbeforeheleft。Henceitwas,too,thatforthelastfewdays,shehadnotbeenabletokeepinbedlaterthanthetimeofthepostman'sarrival。
Theclockpointedtohalf-pastseven。Shesawthepostmanemergefrombeneaththebareboughsoftheparktrees,comethroughthewicket,divethroughtheshrubbery,reappearonthelawn,stalkacrossitwithoutreferencetopaths——ascountrypostmendo——andcometotheporch。Sheheardhimflingthebagdownontheseat,andturnawaytowardsthevillage,withouthinderinghimselfforasinglepace。
Thenthebutleropenedthedoor,tookupthebag,broughtitin,andcarrieditupthestaircasetoplaceitontheslabbyMissAldclyffe'sdressing-roomdoor。Thewholeproceedinghadbeendepictedbysounds。
Shehadapresentimentthatherletterwasinthebagatlast。Shethoughtthenindiminishingpulsationsofconfidence,'Heaskstoseeme!Perhapsheaskstoseeme:Ihopeheaskstoseeme。'
Aquartertoeight:MissAldclyffe'sbell——ratherearlierthanusual。'Shemusthaveheardthepost-bagbrought,'saidthemaiden,as,tiredofthechillyprospectoutside,sheturnedtothefire,anddrewimaginativepicturesofherfuturetherein。
Atapcametothedoor,andthelady's-maidentered。
'MissAldclyffeisawake,'shesaid;'andsheaskedifyouweremovingyet,miss。'
'I'llrunuptoher,'saidCytherea,andflittedoffwiththeutteranceofthewords。'Veryfortunatethis,'shethought;'I
shallseewhatisinthebagthismorningallthesooner。'
Shetookitupfromthesidetable,wentintoMissAldclyffe'sbedroom,pulleduptheblinds,andlookedroundupontheladyinbed,calculatingtheminutesthatmustelapsebeforeshelookedatherletters。
'Well,darling,howareyou?Iamgladyouhavecomeintoseeme,'
saidMissAldclyffe。'Youcanunlockthebagthismorning,child,ifyoulike,'shecontinued,yawningfactitiously。
'Strange!'Cythereathought;'itseemsasifsheknewtherewaslikelytobealetterforme。'
FromherbedMissAldclyffewatchedthegirl'sfaceasshetremblinglyopenedthepost-bagandfoundthereanenvelopeaddressedtoherinEdward'shandwriting;onehehadwrittenthedaybefore,afterthedecisionhehadcometoonanimpartial,andonthataccounttorturing,surveyofhisown,hisfather's,hiscousinAdelaide's,andwhathebelievedtobeCytherea's,position。
Thehaughtymistress'ssoulsickenedremorsefullywithinherwhenshesawsuddenlyappearuponthespeakingcountenanceoftheyoungladybeforeherawandesolatelookofagony。
Themaster-sentencesofEdward'sletterwerethese:'Youspeaktruly。Thatwenevermeetagainisthewisestandonlypropercourse。ThatIregretthepastasmuchasyoudoyourself,itishardlynecessaryformetosay。'
XII。THEEVENTSOFTENMONTHS
1。DECEMBERTOAPRIL
Weekafterweek,monthaftermonth,thetimehadflownby。
Christmashadpassed;drearywinterwithdarkeveningshadgivenplacetomoredrearywinterwithlightevenings。Thawshadendedinrain,raininwind,windindust。Showerydayshadcome——theperiodofpinkdawnsandwhitesunsets;withthethirdweekinAprilthecuckoohadappeared,withthefourth,thenightingale。
EdwardSpringrovewasinLondon,attendingtothedutiesofhisnewoffice,andithadbecomeknownthroughouttheneighbourhoodofCarrifordthattheengagementbetweenhimselfandMissAdelaideHintonwouldterminateinmarriageattheendoftheyear。
TheonlyoccasiononwhichherloveroftheidledeliciousdaysatBudmouthwatering-placehadbeenseenbyCythereaafterthetimeofthedecisivecorrespondence,wasonceinchurch,whenhesatinfrontofher,andbesideMissHinton。
Therencounterwasquiteanaccident。SpringrovehadcomethereinthefullbeliefthatCythereawasawayfromhomewithMissAldclyffe;andhecontinuedignorantofherpresencethroughouttheservice。
Itisatsuchmomentsasthese,whenasensitivenaturewrithesundertheconceptionthatitsmostcherishedemotionshavebeentreatedwithcontumely,thatthesphere-descendedMaid,Music,friendofPleasureatothertimes,becomesapositiveenemy——
racking,bewildering,unrelenting。ThecongregationsangthefirstPsalmandcametotheverse——
'Likesomefairtreewhich,fedbystreams,Withtimelyfruitdothbend,Hestillshallflourish,andsuccessAllhisdesignsattend。'
Cytherea'slipsdidnotmove,nordidanysoundescapeher;butcouldshehelpsingingthewordsinthedepthsofherbeing,althoughthemantowhomsheappliedthemsatatherrival'sside?
Perhapsthemoralcompensationforallawoman'spettyclevernessunderthrivingconditionsistherealnobilitythatliesinherextremefoolishnessattheseothertimes;hersheerinabilitytobesimplyjust,herexerciseofanillogicalpowerentirelydeniedtomeningeneral——thepowernotonlyofkissing,butofdelightingtokisstherodbyapunctiliousobservanceoftheself-immolatingdoctrinesintheSermonontheMount。
AsforEdward——alittlelikeothermenofhistemperament,towhom,itissomewhathumiliatingtothink,theaberrancyofagivenloveisinitselfarecommendation——hissentiment,ashelookedoverhiscousin'sbook,wasofalowerrank,HoratianratherthanPsalmodic——
'O,whathastthouofher,ofherWhoseeverylookdidloveinspire;
Whoseeverybreathingfannedmyfire,Andstolemefrommyselfaway!'
Then,withoutlettinghimseeher,Cythereasliptoutofchurchearly,andwenthome,thetonesoftheorganstilllingeringinherearsasshetriedbravelytokillajealousthoughtthatwouldneverthelesslive:'Mynatureisonecapableofmore,farmore,intensefeelingthanhers!Shecan'tappreciateallthesidesofhim——sheneverwill!Heismoretangibletomeevennow,asathought,thanhispresenceitselfistoher!'Shewaslessnoblethen。
Butshecontinuallyrepressedhermiseryandbitternessofhearttilltheefforttodososhowedsignsoflessening。Atlengthsheeventriedtohopethatherlostloverandherrivalwouldloveoneanotherverydearly。
Thesceneandthesentimentdroppedintothepast。Meanwhile,Manstoncontinuedvisiblybeforeher。He,thoughquietandsubduedinhisbearingforalongtimeafterthecalamityofNovember,hadnotsimulatedagriefthathedidnotfeel。Atfirsthislossseemedsotoabsorbhim——thoughasastartlingchangeratherthanasaheavysorrow——thathepaidCythereanoattentionwhatever。Hisconductwasuniformlykindandrespectful,butlittlemore。Then,asthedateofthecatastrophegrewremoter,hebegantowearadifferentaspecttowardsher。Healwayscontrivedtoobliteratebyhismannerallrecollectiononhersidethatshewascomparativelymoredependentthanhimself——makingmuchofherwomanhood,nothingofhersituation。Prompttoaidherwheneveroccasionoffered,andfullofdelightfulpetitssoinsatalltimes,hewasnotofficious。
Inthiswayheirresistiblywonforhimselfapositionasherfriend,andthemoreeasilyinthatheallowednotthefaintestsymptomoftheoldlovetobeapparent。
MattersstoodthusinthemiddleofthespringwhenthenextmoveonhisbehalfwasmadebyMissAldclyffe。
2。THETHIRDOFMAY
SheledCythereatoasummer-housecalledtheFane,builtintheprivategroundsaboutthemansionintheformofaGreciantemple;
itoverlookedthelake,theislandonit,thetrees,andtheirundisturbedreflectioninthesmoothstillwater。Heretheoldandyoungmaidhalted;heretheystood,sidebyside,mentallyimbibingthescene。
ThemonthwasMay——thetime,morning。Cuckoos,thrushes,blackbirds,andsparrowsgaveforthaperfectconfusionofsongandtwitter。Theroadwasspottedwhitewiththefallenleavesofapple-blossoms,andthesparklinggreydewstilllingeredonthegrassandflowers。Twoswansfloatedintoviewinfrontofthewomen,andthencrossedthewatertowardsthem。
'Theyseemtocometouswithoutanywilloftheirown——quiteinvoluntarily——don'tthey?'saidCytherea,lookingatthebirds'
gracefuladvance。
'Yes,butifyoulooknarrowlyyoucanseetheirhipsjustbeneaththewater,workingwiththegreatestenergy。'
'I'drathernotseethat,itspoilstheideaofproudindifferencetodirectionwhichweassociatewithaswan。'
'Itdoes;we'llhave“involuntarily。“Ah,nowthisremindsmeofsomething。'
'Ofwhat?'
'Ofahumanbeingwhoinvoluntarilycomestowardsyourself。'
CytherealookedintoMissAldclyffe'sface;hereyesgrewroundascircles,andlinesofwondermentcamevisiblyuponhercountenance。
ShehadnotonceregardedManstonasaloversincehiswife'ssuddenappearanceandsubsequentdeath。Thedeathofawife,andsuchadeath,wasanoverwhelmingmatterinherideasofthings。
'Isitamanorwoman?'shesaid,quiteinnocently。
'Mr。Manston,'saidMissAldclyffequietly。
'Mr。ManstonattractedbymeNOW?'saidCytherea,standingatgaze。
'Didn'tyouknowit?'
'CertainlyIdidnot。Why,hispoorwifehasonlybeendeadsixmonths。'
'Ofcourseheknowsthat。Butlovingisnotdonebymonths,ormethod,orrule,ornobodywouldeverhaveinventedsuchaphraseas“fallinginlove。“Hedoesnotwanthislovetobeobservedjustyet,ontheveryaccountyoumention;butconcealitashemayfromhimselfandus,itexistsdefinitely——andveryintensely,Iassureyou。'
'Isupposethen,thatifhecan'thelpit,itisnoharmofhim,'
saidCythereanaively,andbeginningtoponder。
'Ofcourseitisn't——youknowthatwellenough。Shewasagreatburdenandtroubletohim。Thismaybecomeagreatgoodtoyouboth。'
Arushoffeelingatrememberingthatthesamewoman,beforeManston'sarrival,hadjustasfranklyadvocatedEdward'sclaims,checkedCytherea'sutteranceforawhile。
'There,don'tlookatmelikethat,forHeaven'ssake!'saidMissAldclyffe。'Youcouldalmostkillapersonbytheforceofreproachyoucanputintothoseeyesofyours,Iverilybelieve。'
Edwardonceintheyounglady'sthoughts,therewasnogettingridofhim。Shewantedtobealone。
'Doyouwantmehere?'shesaid。
'Nowthere,there;youwanttobeoff,andhaveagoodcry,'saidMissAldclyffe,takingherhand。'Butyoumustn't,mydear。
There'snothinginthepastforyoutoregret。CompareMr。
Manston'shonourableconducttowardshiswifeandyourself,withSpringrovetowardshisbetrothedandyourself,andthenseewhichappearsthemoreworthyofyourthoughts。'
3。FROMTHEFOURTHOFMAYTOTHETWENTY-FIRSTOFJUNE
ThenextstageinManston'sadvancestowardsherhandwasaclearlydefinedcourtship。Shewassadlyperplexed,andsomecontrivancewasnecessaryonhispartinordertomeetwithher。Butitisnexttoimpossibleforanappreciativewomantohaveapositiverepugnancetowardsanunusuallyhandsomeandgiftedman,eventhoughshemaynotbeinclinedtolovehim。HenceCythereawasnotsoalarmedatthesightofhimastorenderameetingandconversationwithhermorethanamatterofdifficulty。
Comingandgoingfromchurchwashisgrandopportunity。Manstonwasveryreligiousnow。Itiscommonlysaidthatnomanwaseverconvertedbyargument,butthereisasingleonewhichwillmakeanyLaodiceaninEngland,lethimbeoncelove-sick,wearprayer-booksandbecomeazealousEpiscopalian——theargumentthathissweetheartcanbeseenfromhispew。
Manstonintroducedintohismethodasystemofbewitchingflattery,everywherepervasive,yet,too,sotransitoryandintangible,that,asinthecaseofthepoetWordsworthandtheWanderingVoice,thoughshefeltitpresent,shecouldneverfindit。Asafoiltoheightenitseffect,heoccasionallyspokephilosophicallyoftheevanescenceoffemalebeauty——theworthlessnessofmereappearance。
'Handsomeisthathandsomedoes'heconsideredaproverbwhichshouldbewrittenonthelooking-glassofeverywomanintheland。
'Yourform,yourmotions,yourhearthavewonme,'hesaid,inatoneofplayfulsadness。'Theyarebeautiful。ButIseethesethings,anditcomesintomymindthattheyaredoomed,theyareglidingtonothingasIlook。Pooreyes,poormouth,poorface,poormaiden!“Wherewillhergloriesbeintwentyyears?”Isay。
“Wherewillallofherbeinahundred?”ThenIthinkitiscruelthatyoushouldbloomaday,andfadeforeverandever。ItseemshardandsadthatyouwilldieasordinarilyasI,andbeburied;befoodforrootsandworms,beforgottenandcometoearth,andgrowupamerebladeofchurchyard-grassandanivyleaf。Then,MissGraye,whenIseeyouareaLovelyNothing,Ipityyou,andtheloveIfeelthenisbetterandsounder,largerandmorelastingthanthatIfeltatthebeginning。'Againanardentflashofhishandsomeeyes。
Itwasbythisroutethatheventuredonanindirectdeclarationandofferofhishand。
Sheimpliedinthesameindirectmannerthatshedidnotlovehimenoughtoacceptit。
Anactualrefusalwasmorethanhehadexpected。Cursinghimselfforwhathecalledhisegregiousfollyinmakinghimselftheslaveofamerelady'sattendant,andforhavinggiventheparish,shouldtheyknowofherrefusal,achanceofsneeringathim——certainlyagroundforthinkinglessofhisstandingthanbefore——hewenthometotheOldHouse,andwalkedindecisivelyupanddownhisback-yard。
Turningaside,heleanthisarmsupontheedgeoftherain-water-
buttstandinginthecorner,andlookedintoit。ThereflectionfromthesmoothstagnantsurfacetingedhisfacewiththegreenishshadesofCorreggio'snudes。Stavesofsunlightslanteddownthroughthestillpool,lightingitupwithwonderfuldistinctness。
Hundredsofthousandsofminutelivingcreaturessportedandtumbledinitsdepthwitheverycontortionthatgaietycouldsuggest;
perfectlyhappy,thoughconsistingonlyofahead,oratail,oratmostaheadandatail,andalldoomedtodiewithinthetwenty-fourhours。
'Damnmyposition!Whyshouldn'tIbehappythroughmylittledaytoo?Lettheparishsneeratmyrepulses,letit。I'llgether,ifImoveheavenandearthtodoit!'
Indeed,theinexperiencedCythereahad,towardsEdwardinthefirstplace,andManstonafterwards,unconsciouslyadoptedbearingsthatwouldhavebeentheverytacticsofaprofessionalfisherofmenwhowishedtohavethemeachsuccessivelydanglingatherheels。Forifanyruleatallcanbelaiddowninamatterwhich,formencollectively,isnotoriouslybeyondregulation,itisthattosnubapettedman,andtopetasnubbedman,isthewaytowininsuitsofbothkinds。ManstonwithSpringrove'sencouragementwouldhavebecomeindifferent。EdwardwithManston'srepulseswouldhavesheeredoffattheoutset,ashedidafterwards。HersupremeindifferenceaddedfueltoManston'sardour——itcompletelydisarmedhispride。TheinvulnerableNobodyseemedgreatertohimthanasusceptiblePrincess。
4。FROMTHETWENTY-FIRSTOFJUNETOTHEENDOFJULY
Cythereahadinthemeantimereceivedthefollowingletterfromherbrother。Itwasthefirstdefinitenotificationoftheenlargementofthatcloudnobiggerthanaman'shandwhichhadfornearlyatwelvemonthhungbeforetheminthedistance,andwhichwassoontogiveacolourtotheirwholeskyfromhorizontohorizon。
'BUDMOUTHREGIS,Saturday。
'DARLINGSIS,——Ihavedelayedtellingyouforalongtimeofalittlematterwhich,thoughnotonetobeseriouslyalarmedabout,issufficientlyvexing,anditwouldbeunfairinmetokeepitfromyouanylonger。ItisthatforsometimepastIhaveagainbeendistressedbythatlamenesswhichIfirstdistinctlyfeltwhenwewenttoLulsteadCove,andagainwhenIleftKnapwaterthatmorningearly。Itisanunusualpaininmyleftleg,betweenthekneeandtheankle。Ihadjustfoundfreshsymptomsofitwhenyouwerehereforthathalf-houraboutamonthago——whenyousaidinfunthatI
begantomovelikeanoldman。Ihadagoodmindtotellyouthen,butfancyingitwouldgooffinafewdays,Ithoughtitwasnotworthwhile。Sincethattimeithasincreased,butIamstillabletoworkintheoffice,sittingonthestool。MygreatfearisthatMr。G。willhavesomeout-doormeasuringworkformetodosoon,andthatIshallbeobligedtodeclineit。However,wewillhopeforthebest。Howitcame,whatwasitsorigin,orwhatittendsto,I
cannotthink。Youshallhearagaininadayortwo,ifitisnobetter——Yourlovingbrother,OWEN。'
Thissheanswered,beggingtoknowtheworst,whichshecouldbear,butsuspenseandanxietynever。Intwodayscameanotherletterfromhim,ofwhichthesubjoinedparagraphisaportion:——
'Ihadquitedecidedtoletyouknowtheworst,andtoassureyouthatitwastheworst,beforeyouwrotetoaskit。AndagainIgiveyoumywordthatIwillconcealnothing——sothattherewillbenoexcusewhateverforyourwearingyourselfoutwithfearsthatIamworsethanIsay。Thismorningthen,forthefirsttime,Ihavebeenobligedtostayawayfromtheoffice。Don'tbefrightenedatthis,dearCytherea。Restisallthatiswanted,andbynursingmyselfnowforaweek,Imayavoidanillnessofsixmonths。'
Afteravisitfromherhewroteagain:——
'Dr。Chestmanhasseenme。Hesaidthattheailmentwassomesortofrheumatism,andIamnowundergoingpropertreatmentforitscure。Mylegandfoothavebeenplacedinhotbran,linimentshavebeenapplied,andalsoseverefrictionwithapad。HesaysIshallbeasrightaseverinaveryshorttime。DirectlyIamIshallrunupbythetraintoseeyou。Don'ttroubletocometomeifMissAldclyffegrumblesagainaboutyourbeingaway,forIamgoingoncapitally……Youshallhearagainattheendoftheweek。'
Atthetimementionedcamethefollowing:——
'Iamsorrytotellyou,becauseIknowitwillbesodishearteningaftermylastletter,thatIamnotsowellasIwasthen,andthattherehasbeenasortofhitchintheproceedings。AfterIhadbeentreatedforrheumatismafewdayslongerinwhichtreatmenttheyprickedtheplacewithalongneedleseveraltimes,IsawthatDr。
Chestmanwasindoubtaboutsomething,andIrequestedthathewouldcallinabrotherprofessionalmantoseemeaswell。Theyconsultedtogetherandthentoldmethatrheumatismwasnotthediseaseafterall,buterysipelas。Theythenbegantreatingitdifferently,asbecameadifferentmatter。Blisters,flour,andstarch,seemtobetheorderofthedaynow——medicine,ofcourse,besides。
'Mr。Gradfieldhasbeenintoinquireaboutme。Hesayshehasbeenobligedtogetadesignerinmyplace,whichgrievesmeverymuch,though,ofcourse,itcouldnotbeavoided。'
Amonthpassedaway;throughoutthisperiod,Cythereavisitedhimasoftenasthelimitedtimeathercommandwouldallow,andworeascheerfulacountenanceasthewomanlydeterminationtodonothingwhichmightdepresshimcouldenablehertowear。Anotherletterfromhimthentoldhertheseadditionalfacts:——
'Thedoctorsfindtheyareagainonthewrongtack。Theycannotmakeoutwhatthediseaseis。OCytherea!howIwishtheyknew!
Thissuspenseiswearingmeout。CouldnotMissAldclyffespareyouforaday?Docometome。Wewilltalkaboutthebestcoursethen。
Iamsorrytocomplain,butIamwornout。“
CythereawenttoMissAldclyffe,andtoldherofthemelancholyturnherbrother'sillnesshadtaken。MissAldclyffeatoncesaidthatCythereamightgo,andofferedtodoanythingtoassistherwhichlayinherpower。Cytherea'seyesbeamedgratitudeassheturnedtoleavetheroom,andhastentothestation。
'O,Cytherea,'saidMissAldclyffe,callingherback;'justoneword。HasMr。Manstonspokentoyoulately?'
'Yes,'saidCytherea,blushingtimorously。
'Heproposed?'
'Yes。'
'Andyourefusedhim?'
'Yes。'
'Tut,tut!Nowlistentomyadvice,'saidMissAldclyffeemphatically,'andaccepthimbeforehechangeshismind。Thechancewhichheoffersyouofsettlinginlifeisonethatmaypossibly,probably,notoccuragain。Hispositionisgoodandsecure,andthelifeofhiswifewouldbeahappyone。Youmaynotbesurethatyoulovehimmadly;butsupposeyouarenotsure?Myfatherusedtosaytomeasachildwhenhewasteachingmewhist,“Whenindoubtwinthetrick!”Thatadviceistentimesasvaluabletoawomanonthesubjectofmatrimony。Inrefusingamanthereisalwaystheriskthatyoumaynevergetanotheroffer。'
'Whydidn'tyouwinthetrickwhenyouwereagirl?'saidCytherea。
'Come,myladyPert;I'mnotthetext,'saidMissAldclyffe,herfaceglowinglikefire。
Cytherealaughedstealthily。
'Iwasabouttosay,'resumedMissAldclyffeseverely,'thathereisMr。Manstonwaitingwiththetenderestsolicitudeforyou,andyouoverlookingit,asifitwerealtogetherbeneathyou。ThinkhowyoumightbenefityoursickbrotherifyouwereMrs。Manston。YouwillpleasemeVERYMUCHbygivinghimsomeencouragement。Youunderstandme,Cythiedear?'
Cythereawassilent。
'And,'saidMissAldclyffe,stillmoreemphatically,'onyourpromisingthatyouwillaccepthimsometimethisyear,Iwilltakeespecialcareofyourbrother。Youarelistening,Cytherea?'
'Yes,'shewhispered,leavingtheroom。
ShewenttoBudmouth,passedthedaywithherbrother,andreturnedtoKnapwaterwretchedandfullofforeboding。Owenhadlookedstartlinglythinandpale——thinnerandpalerthanevershehadseenhimbefore。Thebrotherandsisterhadthatdaydecidedthatnotwithstandingthedrainupontheirslenderresources,anothersurgeonshouldseehim。Timewaseverything。
Owentoldhertheresultinhisnextletter:——
'Thethreepractitionersbetweenthemhaveatlasthitthenailonthehead,Ihope。Theyprobedtheplace,anddiscoveredthatthesecretlayinthebone。Iunderwentanoperationforitsremovalthreedaysagoaftertakingchloroform……ThankGoditisover。
ThoughIamsoweak,myspiritsareratherbetter。IwonderwhenI
shallbeatworkagain?Iaskedthesurgeonshowlongitwouldbefirst。Isaidamonth?Theyshooktheirheads。Ayear?Isaid。
Notsolong,theysaid。Sixmonths?Iinquired。Theywouldnot,orcouldnot,tellme。Butnevermind。
'Rundown,whenyouhavehalfadaytospare,forthehoursdragonsodrearily。OCytherea,youcan'tthinkhowdrearily!'
Shewent。ImmediatelyonherdepartureMissAldclyffesentanotetotheOldHouse,toManston。Onthemaiden'sreturn,tiredandsickatheartasusual,shefoundManstonatthestationawaitingher。HeaskedpolitelyifhemightaccompanyhertoKnapwater。Shetacitlyacquiesced。Duringtheirwalkheinquiredtheparticularsofherbrother'sillness,andwithanirresistibledesiretopourouthertroubletosomeone,shetoldhimofthelengthoftimewhichmustelapsebeforehecouldbestrongagain,andofthelackofcomfortinlodgings。
Manstonwassilentawhile。Thenhesaidimpetuously:'MissGraye,Iwillnotmincematters——Iloveyou——youknowit。Stratagemtheysayisfairinlove,andIamcompelledtoadoptitnow。Forgiveme,forIcannothelpit。Consenttobemywifeatanytimethatmaysuityou——anyremotedayyoumaynamewillsatisfyme——andyoushallfindhimwellprovidedfor。'
Forthefirsttimeinherlifeshetrulydreadedthehandsomemanathersidewhopleadedthusselfishly,andshrankfromthehotvoluptuousnatureofhispassionforher,which,disguiseitashemightunderaquietandpolishedexterior,attimesradiatedforthwithascorchingwhiteheat。Sheperceivedhowanimalwasthelovewhichbargained。
'Idonotloveyou,Mr。Manston,'sherepliedcoldly。
5。FROMTHEFIRSTTOTHETWENTY-SEVENTHOFAUGUST
Thelongsunnydaysofthelatersummer-timebroughtonlythesamedrearyaccountsfromBudmouth,andsawCythereapayingthesamesadvisits。
Shegrewperceptiblyweaker,inbodyandmind。Manstonstillpersistedinhissuit,butwithmoreofhisformerindirectness,nowthathesawhowunexpectedlywellshestoodanopenattack。HiswasthesystemofDaresattheSiciliangames——
'He,likeacaptainwhobeleaguersroundSomestrong-builtcastleonarisingground,Viewsalltheapproacheswithobservingeyes,Thisandthatotherpartagainhetries,Andmoreonindustrythanforcerelies。'
MissAldclyffemadeitappearmoreclearlythaneverthataidtoOwenfromherselfdependedentirelyuponCytherea'sacceptanceofhersteward。Hemmedinanddistressed,Cytherea'sanswerstohisimportunitiesgrewlessuniform;theywerefirm,orwavering,asOwen'smaladyfluctuated。Hadaregisterofherpitifuloscillationsbeenkept,itwouldhaverivalledinpathosthediarywhereinDeQuinceytabulateshiscombatwithOpium——perhapsasnoticeableaninstanceasanyinwhichathrillingdramaticpowerhasbeengiventomerenumerals。Thusshewearilyandmonotonouslylivedthroughthemonth,listeningonSundaystothewellknownroundofchaptersnarratingthehistoryofElijahandElishainfamineanddrought;onweek-daystobuzzingfliesinhotsunnyrooms。'Solike,soverylike,wasdaytoday。'Extremelassitudeseemedallthattheworldcouldshowher。
Herstatewasinthiswise,whenoneafternoon,havingbeenwithherbrother,shemetthesurgeon,andbeggedhimtotelltheactualtruthconcerningOwen'scondition。
Thereplywasthathefearedthatthefirstoperationhadnotbeenthorough;thatalthoughthewoundhadhealed,anotherattemptmightstillbenecessary,unlessnaturewerelefttoeffectherowncure。
Butthetimesuchaself-healingproceedingwouldoccupymightberuinous。
'Howlongwoulditbe?'shesaid。
'Itisimpossibletosay。Ayearortwo,moreorless。'
'Andsupposehesubmittedtoanotherartificialextraction?'
'Thenhemightbewellinfourorsixmonths。'
Nowtheremainderofhisandherpossessions,togetherwithasumhehadborrowed,wouldnotprovidehimwithnecessarycomfortsforhalfthattime。Tocombatthemisfortune,thereweretwocoursesopen——
herbecomingbetrothedtoManston,orthesendingOwentotheCountyHospital。
Thusterrified,drivenintoacorner,pantingandflutteringaboutforsomeloopholeofescape,yetstillshrinkingfromtheideaofbeingManston'swife,thepoorlittlebirdendeavouredtofindoutfromMissAldclyffewhetheritwaslikelyOwenwouldbewelltreatedinthehospital。
'CountyHospital!'saidMissAldclyffe;'why,itisonlyanothernameforslaughter-house——insurgicalcasesatanyrate。Certainlyifanythingaboutyourbodyissnaptintwotheydojoinyoutogetherinafashion,but'tissoaskewandugly,thatyoumayaswellbeapartagain。'Thensheterrifiedtheinquiringandanxiousmaidenbyrelatinghorridstoriesofhowthelegsandarmsofpoorpeoplewerecutoffatamoment'snotice,especiallyincaseswheretherestorativetreatmentwaslikelytobelongandtedious。
'YouknowhowwillingIamtohelpyou,Cytherea,'sheaddedreproachfully。'Youknowit。Whyareyousoobstinatethen?Whydoyouselfishlybartheclear,honourable,andonlysisterlypathwhichleadsoutofthisdifficulty?Icannot,onmyconscience,countenanceyou;no,Icannot。'
Manstononcemorerepeatedhisoffer;andoncemoresherefused,butthistimeweakly,andwithsignsofaninternalstruggle。Manston'seyesparkled;hesawforthehundredthtimeinhislife,thatperseverance,ifonlysystematic,wasirresistiblebywomankind。
6。THETWENTY-SEVENTHOFAUGUST
OngoingtoBudmouththreedayslater,shefoundtohersurprisethatthestewardhadbeenthere,hadintroducedhimself,andhadseenherbrother。Afewdelicacieshadbeenbroughthimalsobythesamehand。OwenspokeinwarmtermsofManstonandhisfreeandunceremoniouscall,ashecouldnothaverefrainedfromdoingofanyperson,ofanykind,whosepresencehadservedtohelpawaythetedioushoursofalongday,andwhohad,moreover,shownthatsortofconsiderationforhimwhichtheaccompanyingbasketimplied——
antecedentconsideration,sotellinguponallinvalids——andwhichhesoseldomexperiencedexceptfromthehandsofhissister。
Howshouldheperceive,amidthistithe-payingofmint,andanise,andcummin,theweightiermatterswhichwereleftundone?
AgainthestewardmetheratCarrifordRoadStationonherreturnjourney。Insteadofbeingfrigidasattheformermeetingatthesameplace,shewasembarrassedbyastrifeofthought,andmurmuredbrokenlyherthanksforwhathehaddone。Thesamerequestthathemightseeherhomewasmade。
HehadperceivedhiserrorinmakinghiskindnesstoOwenaconditionalkindness,andhadhastenedtoeffaceallrecollectionofit。'ThoughIletmyofferonherbrother's——myfriend's——behalf,seemdependentonmylady'sgraciousnesstome,'hewhisperedwooinglyinthecourseoftheirwalk,'Icouldnotconscientiouslyadheretomystatement;itwassaidwithalltheimpulsiveselfishnessoflove。Whetheryouchoosetohaveme,orwhetheryoudon't,Iloveyoutoodevotedlytobeanythingbutkindtoyourbrother……MissGraye,Cytherea,Iwilldoanything,'hecontinuedearnestly,'togiveyoupleasure——indeedIwill。'
Shesawontheonehandherpoorandmuch-lovedOwenrecoveringfromhisillnessandtroublesbythedisinterestedkindnessofthemanbesideher,ontheothershedrewhimdying,whollybyreasonofherself-enforcedpoverty。Tomarrythismanwasobviouslythecourseofcommonsense,torefusehimwasimpolitictemerity。Therewasreasoninthis。Buttherewasmorebehindthanahundredreasons——awoman'sgratitudeandherimpulsetobekind。
Thewaveringofhermindwasvisibleinhertell-taleface。Henoticedit,andcaughtattheopportunity。
Theywerestandingbytheruinousfoundationsofanoldmillinthemidstofameadow。Betweengreyandhalf-overgrownstonework——theonlysignsofmasonryremaining——thewatergurgleddownfromtheoldmillpondtoalowerlevel,underthecloakofrankbroadleaves——thesensuousnaturesofthevegetableworld。Ontherighthandthesun,restingonthehorizon-line,streamedacrossthegroundfrombelowcopper-colouredandlilacclouds,stretchedoutinflatsbeneathaskyofpalesoftgreen。Alldarkobjectsontheearththatlaytowardsthesunwereoverspreadbyapurplehaze,againstwhichaswarmofwailinggnatsshoneforthluminously,risingupwardandfloatingawaylikesparksoffire。
Thestillnessoppressedandreducedhertomerepassivity。Theonlywishthehumidityoftheplaceleftinherwastostandmotionless。
Thehelplessflatnessofthelandscapegaveher,asitgivesallsuchtemperaments,asenseofbareequalitywith,andnosuperiorityto,asingleentityunderthesky。
Hecamesoclosethattheirclothestouched。'Willyoutrytoloveme?Dotrytoloveme!'hesaid,inawhisper,takingherhand。Hehadnevertakenitbefore。Shecouldfeelhishandtremblingexceedinglyasitheldhersinitsclasp。
Consideringhiskindnesstoherbrother,hisloveforherself,andEdward'sfickleness,oughtshetoforbidhimtodothis?Howtrulypitifulitwastofeelhishandtrembleso——allforher!Shouldshewithdrawherhand?Shewouldthinkwhethershewould。Thinking,andhesitating,shelookedasfarastheautumnalhazeonthemarshygroundwouldallowhertoseedistinctly。Therewasthefragmentofahedge——allthatremainedofa'wetoldgarden'——standinginthemiddleofthemead,withoutadefinitebeginningorending,purposelessandvalueless。Itwasovergrown,andchokedwithmandrakes,andshecouldalmostfancysheheardtheirshrieks……
Shouldshewithdrawherhand?No,shecouldnotwithdrawitnow;itwastoolate,theactwouldnotimplyrefusal。Shefeltasoneinaboatwithoutoars,driftingwithclosedeyesdownariver——sheknewnotwhither。
Hegaveherhandagentlepressure,andrelinquishedit。
Thenitseemedasifhewerecomingtothepointagain。No,hewasnotgoingtourgehissuitthatevening。Anotherrespite。
7。THEEARLYPARTOFSEPTEMBER
Saturdaycame,andshewentonsometrivialerrandtothevillagepost-office。Itwasalittlegreycottagewithaluxuriantjasmineencirclingthedoorway,andbeforegoinginCythereapausedtoadmirethispleasingfeatureoftheexterior。Hearingasteponthegravelbehindthecornerofthehouse,sheresignedthejasmineandentered。Nobodywasintheroom。ShecouldhearMrs。Leat,thewidowwhoactedaspostmistress,walkingaboutoverherhead。
CythereawasgoingtothefootofthestairstocallMrs。Leat,butbeforeshehadaccomplishedherobject,anotherformstoodatthehalf-opendoor。Manstoncamein。
'Bothonthesameerrand,'hesaidgracefully。
'Iwillcallher,'saidCytherea,movinginhastetothefootofthestairs。
'Onemoment。'Heglidedtoherside。'Don'tcallherforamoment,'herepeated。
Butshehadsaid,'Mrs。Leat!'
HeseizedCytherea'shand,kissedittenderly,andcarefullyreplaceditbyherside。
Shehadthatmorningdeterminedtocheckhisfurtheradvances,untilshehadthoroughlyconsideredherposition。Theremonstrancewasnowonhertongue,butasaccidentwouldhaveit,beforethewordcouldbespokenMrs。Leatwassteppingfromthelaststairtothefloor,andnoremonstrancecame。
Withthesubtletywhichcharacterizedhiminallhisdealingswithher,hequicklyconcludedhisownerrand,badeheragood-bye,inthetonesofwhichlovewassogarnishedwithpurepolitenessthatitonlyshoweditspresencetoherself,andleftthehouse——puttingitoutofherpowertorefusehimhercompanionshiphomeward,ortoobjecttohislateactionofkissingherhand。
TheFridayofthenextweekbroughtanotherletterfromherbrother。
Inthisheinformedherthat,inabsolutegrieflestheshoulddistressherunnecessarily,hehadsometimeearlierborrowedafewpounds。Aweekago,hesaid,hiscreditorbecameimportunate,butthatonthedayonwhichhewrote,thecreditorhadtoldhimtherewasnohurryforasettlement,that'hisSISTER'SSUITORhadguaranteedthesum。''IsheMr。Manston?tellme,Cytherea,'saidOwen。
Healsomentionedthatawheeledchairhadbeenanonymouslyhiredforhisespecialuse,thoughasyethewashardlyfarenoughadvancedtowardsconvalescencetoavailhimselfoftheluxury。'IsthisMr。Manston'sdoing?'heinquired。
Shecoulddallywithherperplexity,evadeit,trusttotimeforguidance,nolonger。Thematterhadcometoacrisis:shemustonceandforallchoosebetweenthedictatesofherunderstandingandthoseofherheart。Shelonged,tillhersoulseemednightobursting,forherlostmother'sreturntoearth,butforoneminute,thatshemighthavetendercounseltoguideherthroughthis,hergreatdifficulty。
Asforherheart,shehalffanciedthatitwasnotEdward'stoquitetheextentthatitoncehadbeen;shethoughthimcruelinconductinghimselftowardsherashedidatBudmouth,cruelafterwardsinmakingsolightofher。Sheknewhehadstifledhisloveforher——wasutterlylosttoher。Butforallthatshecouldnothelpindulginginawoman'spleasureofrecreatingdefunctagonies,andlaceratingherselfwiththemnowandthen。
'IfIwererich,'shethought,'Iwouldgivewaytotheluxuryofbeingmorbidlyfaithfultohimforeverwithouthisknowledge。'
Butsheconsidered;inthefirstplaceshewasahomelessdependent;
andwhatdidpracticalwisdomtellhertodoundersuchdesperatecircumstances?Toprovideherselfwithsomeplaceofrefugefrompoverty,andwithmeanstoaidherbrotherOwen。ThiswastobeMr。
Manston'swife。
Shedidnotlovehim。
Butwhatwaslovewithoutahome?Misery。Whatwasahomewithoutlove?Alas,notmuch;butstillakindofhome。
'Yes,'shethought,'IamurgedbymycommonsensetomarryMr。
Manston。'
Didanythingnoblerinhersaysotoo?
WiththedeathtoherofEdwardherheart'soccupationwasgone。
Wasitnecessaryorevenrightforhertotenditandtakecareofitassheusedtointheoldtime,whenitwasstillacapableminister?
Byaslightsacrificehereshecouldgivehappinesstoatleasttwoheartswhoseemotionalactivitieswerestillunwounded。Shewoulddogoodtotwomenwhoseliveswerefarmoreimportantthanhers。
'Yes,'shesaidagain,'evenChristianityurgesmetomarryMr。
Manston。'
DirectlyCythereahadpersuadedherselfthatakindofheroicself-
abnegationhadtodowiththematter,shebecamemuchmorecontentintheconsiderationofit。Awilfulindifferencetothefuturewaswhatreallyprevailedinher,illandwornout,asshewas,bytheperpetualharassmentsofhersadfortune,andsheregardedthisindifference,asgushingnatureswilldoundersuchcircumstances,asgenuineresignationanddevotedness。
Manstonmetheragainthefollowingday:indeed,therewasnoescapinghimnow。Attheendofashortconversationbetweenthem,whichtookplaceinthehollowoftheparkbythewaterfall,obscuredontheoutersidebythelowhangingbranchesofthelimes,shetacitlyassentedtohisassumptionofaprivilegegreaterthananythathadprecededit。Hestoopedandkissedherbrow。
BeforegoingtobedshewrotetoOwenexplainingthewholematter。
Itwastoolateintheeveningforthepostman'svisit,andsheplacedtheletteronthemantelpiecetosenditthenextday。
ThemorningSundaybroughtahurriedpostscripttoOwen'sletterofthedaybefore:——
'September9,1865。
'DEARCYTHEREA——IhavereceivedafrankandfriendlyletterfromMr。
Manstonexplainingthepositioninwhichhestandsnow,andalsothatinwhichhehopestostandtowardsyou。Can'tyoulovehim?
Whynot?Try,forheisagood,andnotonlythat,butaculturedman。Thinkofthewearyandlaboriousfuturethatawaitsyouifyoucontinueforlifeinyourpresentposition,anddoyouseeanywayofescapefromitexceptbymarriage?Idon't。Don'tgoagainstyourheart,Cytherea,butbewise——Everaffectionatelyyours,OWEN。'
ShethoughtthatprobablyhehadrepliedtoMr。Manstoninthesamefavouringmood。Shehadaconvictionthatthatdaywouldsettleherdoom。Yet'Sotrueafoolislove,'
thatevennowshenourishedahalf-hopethatsomethingwouldhappenatthelastmomenttothwartherdeliberately-formedintentions,andfavourtheoldemotionshewasusingallherstrengthtothrustdown。
8。THETENTHOFSEPTEMBER
TheSundaywasthethirteenthafterTrinity,andtheafternoonserviceatCarrifordwasnearlyover。ThepeopleweresingingtheEveningHymn。
ManstonwasatchurchasusualinhisaccustomedplacetwoseatsforwardfromthelargesquarepewoccupiedbyMissAldclyffeandCytherea。
Theordinarysadnessofanautumnalevening-serviceseemed,inCytherea'seyes,tobedoubledonthisparticularoccasion。Shelookedatallthepeopleastheystoodandsang,wavingbackwardsandforwardslikeaforestofpinesswayedbyagentlebreeze;thenatthevillagechildrensingingtoo,theirheadsinclinedtooneside,theireyeslistlesslytracingsomecrackintheoldwalls,orfollowingthemovementofadistantboughorbirdwithfeaturespetrifiedalmosttopainfulness。ThenshelookedatManston;hewasalreadyregardingherwithsomepurposeinhisglance。
'Itiscomingthisevening,'shesaidinhermind。Aminutelater,attheendofthehymn,whenthecongregationbegantomoveout,Manstoncamedowntheaisle。Hewasoppositetheendofherseatasshesteppedfromit,theremainderoftheirprogresstothedoorbeingincontactwitheachother。MissAldclyffehadlingeredbehind。
'Don'tlet'shurry,'hesaid,whenCythereawasabouttoentertheprivatepathtotheHouseasusual。'WouldyoumindturningdownthiswayforaminutetillMissAldclyffehaspassed?'
Shecouldnotverywellrefusenow。Theyturnedintoasecludedpathontheirleft,leadingroundthroughathicketoflaurelstotheothergateofthechurch-yard,walkingveryslowly。Bythetimethefurthergatewasreached,thechurchwasclosed。Theymetthesextonwiththekeysinhishand。
'Wearegoinginsideforaminute,'saidManstontohim,takingthekeysunceremoniously。'Iwillbringthemtoyouwhenwereturn。'
Thesextonnoddedhisassent,andCythereaandManstonwalkedintotheporch,andupthenave。
Theydidnotspeakawordduringtheirprogress,orinanywayinterferewiththestillnessandsilencethatprevailedeverywherearoundthem。Everythingintheplacewastheembodimentofdecay:
thefadingredglarefromthesettingsun,whichcameinatthewestwindow,emphasizingtheendofthedayandallitscheerfuldoings,themildewedwalls,theunevenpaving-stones,thewormypews,thesenseofrecentoccupation,andthedankairofdeathwhichhadgatheredwiththeevening,wouldhavemadegravealightermoodthanCytherea'swasthen。
'Whatsensationsdoestheplaceimpressyouwith?'shesaidatlast,verysadly。
'Ifeelimperativelycalledupontobehonest,fromverydespairofachievinganythingbystratageminaworldwherethematerialsaresuchasthese。'He,too,spokeinadepressedvoice,purposelyorotherwise。
'IfeelasifIwerealmostashamedtobeseenwalkingsuchaworld,'shemurmured;'that'stheeffectithasuponme;butitdoesnotinducemetobehonestparticularly。'
Hetookherhandinbothhis,andlookeddownuponthelidsofhereyes。
'Ipityyousometimes,'hesaidmoreemphatically。
'Iampitiable,perhaps;soaremanypeople。Whydoyoupityme?'
'Ithinkthatyoumakeyourselfneedlesslysad。'
'Notneedlessly。'
'Yes,needlessly。Whyshouldyoubeseparatedfromyourbrothersomuch,whenyoumighthavehimtostaywithyoutillheiswell?'
'Thatcan'tbe,'shesaid,turningaway。
Hewenton,'IthinktherealandonlygoodthingthatcanbedoneforhimistogethimawayfromBudmouthawhile;andIhavebeenwonderingwhetheritcouldnotbemanagedforhimtocometomyhousetoliveforafewweeks。Onlyaquarterofamilefromyou。
Howpleasantitwouldbe!'
'Itwould。'
Hemovedhimselfroundimmediatelytothefrontofher,andheldherhandmorefirmly,ashecontinued,'Cytherea,whydoyousay“Itwould,“soentirelyinthetoneofabstractsupposition?Iwanthimthere:Iwanthimtobemybrother,too。Thenmakehimso,andbemywife!Icannotlivewithoutyou。OCytherea。mydarling,mylove,comeandbemywife!'
Hisfacebentcloserandclosertohers,andthelastwordssanktoawhisperasweakastheemotioninspiringitwasstrong。
Shesaidfirmlyanddistinctly,'Yes,Iwill。'
'Nextmonth?'hesaidontheinstant,beforetakingbreath。
'No;notnextmonth。'
'Thenext?'
'No。'
'December?ChristmasDay,say?'
'Idon'tmind。'
'O,youdarling!'Hewasabouttoimprintakissuponherpale,coldmouth,butshehastilycovereditwithherhand。
'Don'tkissme——atleastwherewearenow!'shewhisperedimploringly。
'Why?'
'WearetoonearGod。'
Hegaveasuddenstart,andhisfaceflushed。Shehadspokensoemphaticallythatthewords'NearGod'echoedbackagainthroughthehollowbuildingfromthefarendofthechancel。
'Whatathingtosay!'heexclaimed;'surelyapurekissisnotinappropriatetotheplace!'
'No,'shereplied,withaswellingheart;'Idon'tknowwhyIburstoutso——Ican'ttellwhathascomeoverme!Willyouforgiveme?'
'HowshallIsay“Yes“withoutjudgingyou?HowshallIsay“No“
withoutlosingthepleasureofsaying“Yes?”'Hewashimselfagain。
'Idon'tknow,'sheabsentlymurmured。
'I'llsay“Yes,“'heanswereddaintily。'Itissweetertofancyweareforgiven,thantothinkwehavenotsinned;andyoushallhavethesweetnesswithouttheneed。'
Shedidnotreply,andtheymovedaway。Thechurchwasnearlydarknow,andmelancholyintheextreme。Shestoodbesidehimwhilehelockedthedoor,thentookthearmhegaveher,andwoundherwayoutofthechurchyardwithhim。Thentheywalkedtothehousetogether,butthegreatmatterhavingbeensetatrest,shepersistedintalkingonlyonindifferentsubjects。
'ChristmasDay,then,'hesaid,astheywerepartingattheendoftheshrubbery。
'ImeantOldChristmasDay,'shesaidevasively。
'H'm,peopledonotusuallyattachthatmeaningtothewords。'
'No;butIshouldlikeitbestifitcouldnotbetillthen?'Itseemedtobestillherinstincttodelaythemarriagetotheutmost。
'Verywell,love,'hesaidgently。''Tisafortnightlongerstill;
butnevermind。OldChristmasDay。'
9。THEELEVENTHOFSEPTEMBER
'There。ItwillbeonaFriday!'
Shesatuponalittlefootstoolgazingintentlyintothefire。Itwastheafternoonofthedayfollowingthatofthesteward'ssuccessfulsolicitationofherhand。
'IwonderifitwouldbeproperinmetorunacrosstheparkandtellhimitisaFriday?'shesaidtoherself,risingtoherfeet,lookingatherhatlyingnear,andthenoutofthewindowtowardstheOldHouse。Properornot,shefeltthatshemustatallhazardsremovethedisagreeable,though,assheherselfowned,unfoundedimpressionthecoincidencehadoccasioned。Sheleftthehousedirectly,andwenttosearchforhim。
Manstonwasinthetimber-yard,lookingatthesawyersastheyworked。Cythereacameuptohimhesitatingly。Tillwithinadistanceofafewyardsshehadhurriedforwardwithalacrity——nowthatthepracticalexpressionofhisfacebecamevisibleshewishedalmostshehadneversoughthimonsuchanerrand;inhisbusiness-
moodhewasperhapsverystern。
'ItwillbeonaFriday,'shesaidconfusedly,andwithoutanypreface。
'Comethisway!'saidManston,inthetoneheusedforworkmen,notbeingabletoalterataninstant'snotice。Hegaveherhisarmandledherbackintotheavenue,bywhichtimehewasloveragain。'OnaFriday,willit,dearest?YoudonotmindFridays,surely?
That'snonsense。'
'Notseriouslymindthem,exactly——butifitcouldbeanyotherday?'
'Well,letussayOldChristmasEve,then。ShallitbeOldChristmasEve?'
'Yes,OldChristmasEve。'
'Yourwordissolemn,andirrevocablenow?'
'Certainly,Ihavesolemnlypledgedmyword;IshouldnothavepromisedtomarryyouifIhadnotmeantit。Don'tthinkIshould。'
Shespokethewordswithadignifiedimpressiveness。
'Youmustnotbevexedatmyremark,dearest。Canyouthinktheworseofanardentman,Cytherea,forshowingsomeanxietyinlove?'
'No,no。'Shecouldnotsaymore。Shewasalwaysillateasewhenhespokeofhimselfasapieceofhumannatureinthatanalyticalway,andwantedtobeoutofhispresence。Thetimeofday,andtheproximityofthehouse,affordedherameansofescape。'ImustbewithMissAldclyffenow——willyouexcusemyhastycomingandgoing?'
shesaidprettily。Beforehehadrepliedshehadpartedfromhim。
'Cytherea,wasitMr。ManstonIsawyouscuddingawayfromintheavenuejustnow?'saidMissAldclyffe,whenCythereajoinedher。
'Yes。'
'“Yes。“Come,whydon'tyousaymorethanthat?Ihatethosetaciturn“Yesses“ofyours。Itellyoueverything,andyetyouareascloseaswaxwithme。'
'IpartedfromhimbecauseIwantedtocomein。'
'Whatanovelandimportantannouncement!Well,isthedayfixed?'
'Yes。'
MissAldclyffe'sfacekindledintointenseinterestatonce。'Isitindeed?Whenisittobe?'
'OnOldChristmasEve。'
'OldChristmasEve。'MissAldclyffedrewCytherearoundtoherfront,andtookahandineachofherown。'Andthenyouwillbeabride!'shesaidslowly,lookingwithcriticalthoughtfulnessuponthemaiden'sdelicatelyroundedcheeks。
Thenormalareaofthecolouruponeachofthemdecreasedperceptiblyafterthatslowandemphaticutterancebytheelderlady。
MissAldclyffecontinuedimpressively,'Youdidnotsay“OldChristmasEve“asafianceeshouldhavesaidthewords:andyoudon'treceivemyremarkwiththewarmexcitementthatforeshadowsabrightfuture……Howmanyweeksaretheretothetime?'
'Ihavenotreckonedthem。'
'Not?Fancyagirlnotcountingtheweeks!IfindImusttaketheleadinthismatter——youaresochildish,orfrightened,orstupid,orsomething,aboutit,Bringmemydiary,andwewillcountthematonce。'
Cythereasilentlyfetchedthebook。
MissAldclyffeopenedthediaryatthepagecontainingthealmanac,andcountedsixteenweeks,whichbroughthertothethirty-firstofDecember——aSunday。Cythereastoodby,lookingonasifshehadnoappetiteforthescene。
'Sixteentothethirty-first。Thenletmesee,MondaywillbethefirstofJanuary,Tuesdaythesecond,Wednesdaythird,Thursdayfourth,Fridayfifth——youhavechosenaFriday,asIdeclare!'
'AThursday,surely?'saidCytherea。
'No:OldChristmasDaycomesonaSaturday。'
Theperturbedlittlebrainhadreckonedwrong。'Well,itmustbeaFriday,'shemurmuredinareverie。
'No:haveitaltered,ofcourse,'saidMissAldclyffecheerfully。
'There'snothingbadinFriday,butsuchacreatureasyouwillbethinkingaboutitsbeingunlucky——infact,Iwouldn'tchooseaFridaymyselftobemarriedon,sincealltheotherdaysareequallyavailable。'
'Ishallnothaveitaltered,'saidCythereafirmly;'ithasbeenalteredoncealready:Ishallletitbe。'