首页 >出版文学> Desperate Remedies>第8章
  Theoldman'seyessweptthehorizon,thenheturnedtogoin,withoutmakinganotherobservation。Alllightseemedextinguishedinhimagain。WhenEdwardwentinhefoundhisfatherwiththebureauopen,unfoldingtheleaseswithashakinghand,foldingthemupagainwithoutreadingthem,thenputtingthemintheirnicheonlytoremovethemagain。
  Adelaidewasintheroom。ShesaidthoughtfullytoEdward,asshewatchedthefarmer——
  'Ihopeitwon'tkillpooruncle,Edward。Whatshouldwedoifanythingweretohappentohim?HeistheonlynearrelativeyouandIhaveintheworld。'Itwasperfectlytrue,andsomehowEdwardfeltmoreboundupwithherafterthatremark。
  Shecontinued:'Andhewasonlysayingsohopefullythedaybeforethefire,thathewouldn'tfortheworldletanyoneelsegivemeawaytoyouwhenwearemarried。'
  ForthefirsttimeaconscientiousdoubtaroseinEdward'smindastothejusticeofthecoursehewaspursuinginresolvingtorefusethealternativeofferedbyMissAldclyffe。Coulditbeselfishnessaswellasindependence?Howmuchhehadthoughtofhisownheart,howlittlehehadthoughtofhisfather'speaceofmind!
  Theoldmandidnotspeakagaintillsupper-time,whenhebeganaskinghissonanendlessnumberofhypotheticalquestionsonwhatmightinduceMissAldclyffetolistentokinderterms;speakingofhernownotasanunfairwoman,butasaLachesisorFatewhosecourseitbehovednobodytocondemn。InhisearnestnessheonceturnedhiseyesonEdward'sface:theirexpressionwaswoful:thepupilsweredilatedandstrangeinaspect。
  'Ifshewillonlyagreetothat!'hereiteratedforthehundredthtime,increasingthesadnessofhislisteners。
  Anaristocraticknockingcametothedoor,andJaneenteredwithaletter,addressed——
  'MR。EDWARDSPRINGROVE,Junior。'
  'CharlesfromKnapwaterHousebroughtit,'shesaid。
  'MissAldclyffe'swriting,'saidMr。Springrove,beforeEdwardhadrecognizedithimself。'Now'tisallright;she'sgoingtomakeanoffer;shedoesn'twantthehousesthere,notshe;theyaregoingtomakethatthewayintothepark。'
  Edwardopenedthesealandglancedattheinside。Hesaid,withasupremeeffortofself-command——
  'ItisonlydirectedbyMissAldclyffe,andreferstonothingconnectedwiththefire。Iwonderathertakingthetroubletosenditto-night。'
  Hisfatherlookedabsentlyathimandturnedawayagain。Shortlyafterwardstheyretiredforthenight。AloneinhisbedroomEdwardopenedandreadwhathehadnotdaredtorefertointheirpresence。
  TheenvelopecontainedanotherenvelopeinCytherea'shandwriting,addressedto'——Manston,Esq。,OldManorHouse。'Insidethiswasthenoteshehadwrittentothestewardafterherdetentioninhishousebythethunderstorm——
  'KNAPWATERHOUSE,September20th。
  'IfindIcannotmeetyouatseveno'clockbythewaterfallasI
  promised。TheemotionIfeltmademeforgetfulofrealities。
  'C。GRAYE。'
  MissAldclyffehadnotwrittenaline,and,bytheunvaryingruleobservablewhenwordsarenotanabsolutenecessity,hersilenceseemedtentimesasconvincingasanyexpressionofopinioncouldhavebeen。
  Hethen,stepbystep,recalledalltheconversationonthesubjectofCytherea'sfeelingsthathadpassedbetweenhimselfandMissAldclyffeintheafternoon,andbyaconfusionofthought,naturalenoughunderthetryingexperience,concludedthatbecausetheladywastruthfulinherportraitureofeffects,shemustnecessarilyberightinherassumptionofcauses。Thatis,hewasconvincedthatCytherea——thehitherto-believedfaithfulCytherea——had,atanyrate,lookedwithsomethingmorethanindifferenceupontheextremelyhandsomefaceandformofManston。
  Didheblameher,asguiltyoftheimproprietyofallowingherselftolovethenewcomerinthefaceofhisnotbeingfreetoreturnherlove?No;neverforamomentdidhedoubtthatallhadoccurredinherold,innocent,impulsiveway;thatherheartwasgonebeforesheknewit——beforesheknewanything,beyondhisexistence,ofthemantowhomithadflown。Perhapstheverynoteenclosedtohimwastheresultoffirstreflection。Manstonhewouldunhesitatinglyhavecalledascoundrel,butforonestrikinglyredeemingfact。Ithadbeenpatenttothewholeparish,andhadcometoEdward'sownknowledgebythatindirectchannel,thatManston,asamarriedman,conscientiouslyavoidedCythereaafterthosefirstfewdaysofhisarrivalduringwhichherirresistiblybeautifulandfatalglanceshadresteduponhim——hisuponher。
  Takingfromhiscoatacreasedandpocket-wornenvelopecontainingCytherea'slettertohimself,Springroveopeneditandreaditthrough。Hewasupbraidedtherein,andhewasdismissed。ItborethedateofthelettersenttoManston,andbycontainingwithinitthephrase,'AllthedaylongIhavebeenthinking,'affordedjustifiablegroundforassumingthatitwaswrittensubsequentlytotheotherandinEdward'ssightfarsweeteronetothesteward。
  Butthoughheaccusedheroffickleness,hewouldnotdoubtthegenuineness,initskind,ofherpartialityforhimatBudmouth。Itwasashortandshallowfeeling——notperfectlove:
  'LoveisnotloveWhichalterswhenitalterationfinds。'
  Butitwasnotflirtation;afeelinghadbeenborninherandhaddied。Itwouldbewellforhispeaceofmindifhisloveforhercouldflitawaysosoftly,andleavesofewtracesbehind。
  MissAldclyffehadshownherselfdesperatelyconcernedinthewholematterbythealacritywithwhichshehadobtainedtheletterfromManston,andherlabourstoinducehimselftomarryhiscousin。
  Takeninconnectionwithherapparentinterestin,ifnotlovefor,Cytherea,hereagerness,too,couldonlybeaccountedforonthegroundthatCythereaindeedlovedthesteward。
  5。DECEMBERTHEFOURTH
  Edwardpassedthenighthescarcelyknewhow,tossingfeverishlyfromsidetoside,thebloodthrobbinginhistemples,andsinginginhisears。
  Beforethedaybegantobreakhedressedhimself。Ongoingoutuponthelandinghefoundhisfather'sbedroomdooralreadyopen。Edwardconcludedthattheoldmanhadrisensoftly,aswashiswont,andgoneoutintothefieldstostartthelabourers。Butneitheroftheouterdoorswasunfastened。Heenteredthefrontroom,andfounditempty。Thenanimatedbyanewidea,hewentroundtothelittlebackparlour,inwhichthefewwreckssavedfromthefireweredeposited,andlookedinatthedoor。Here,nearthewindow,theshuttersofwhichhadbeenopenedhalfway,hesawhisfatherleaningonthebureau,hiselbowsrestingontheflap,hisbodynearlydoubled,hishandsclaspinghisforehead。Besidehimwereghostly-lookingsquarefoldsofparchment——theleasesofthehousesdestroyed。
  HisfatherlookedupwhenEdwardentered,andwearilyspoketotheyoungmanashisfacecameintothefaintlight。
  'Edward,whydidyougetupsoearly?'
  'Iwasuneasy,andcouldnotsleep。'
  Thefarmerturnedagaintotheleasesonthebureau,andseemedtobecomelostinreflection。Inaminuteortwo,withoutliftinghiseyes,hesaid——
  'Thisismorethanwecanbear,Ted——morethanwecanbear!Ted,thiswillkillme。Notthelossonly——thesenseofmyneglectabouttheinsuranceandeverything。BorrowIneverwill。'Tisallmiserynow。Godhelpus——allmiserynow!'
  Edwarddidnotanswer,continuingtolookfixedlyatthedrearydaylightoutside。
  'Ted,'thefarmerwenton,'thisupsetofbe-enburntouto'homemakesmeverynervousanddoubtfulabouteverything。There'sthistroublesmebesides——ourlivenherewithyourcousin,andfillenupherhouse。Itmustbeveryawkwardforher。Butshesaysshedoesn'tmind。Haveyousaidanythingtoherlatelyaboutwhenyouaregoingtomarryher?'
  'Nothingatalllately。'
  'Well,perhapsyoumayaswell,nowwearesomixedintogether。
  Youknow,notimehaseverbeenmentionedtoheratall,firstorlast,andIthinkitrightthatnow,sinceshehaswaitedsopatientlyandsolong——youarealmostcalledupontosayyouareready。Itwouldsimplifymattersverymuch,ifyouweretowalkuptochurchwi'heroneofthesemornings,getthethingdone,andgoonlivenhereasweare。Ifyoudon'tImustgetahouseallthesooner。Itwouldlightenmymind,too,aboutthetwolittlefreeholdsoverthehill——notamorsela-piece,dividedastheywerebetweenhermotherandme,butatidybittiedtogetheragain。Justthinkaboutit,willye,Ted?'
  Hestoppedfromexhaustionproducedbytheintenseconcentrationofhisminduponthewearysubject,andlookedanxiouslyathisson。
  'Yes,Iwill,'saidEdward。
  'ButIamgoingtoseeheroftheGreatHousethismorning,'thefarmerwenton,histhoughtsrevertingtotheoldsubject。'Imustknowtherightsofthematter,thewhenandthewhere。Idon'tlikeseeingher,butI'drathertalktoherthanthesteward。Iwonderwhatshe'llsaytome。'
  Theyoungermanknewexactlywhatshewouldsay。Ifhisfatheraskedherwhathewastodo,andwhen,shewouldsimplyreferhimtoManston:hercharacterwasnotthatofawomanwhoshrankfromapropositionshehadoncelaiddown。Ifhisfatherweretosaytoherthathissonhadatlastresolvedtomarryhiscousinwithintheyear,andhadgivenherapromisetothateffect,shewouldsay,'Mr。Springrove,thehousesareburnt:we'llletthemgo:troublenomoreaboutthem。'
  Hismindwasalreadymadeup。Hesaidcalmly,'Father,whenyouaretalkingtoMissAldclyffe,mentiontoherthatIhaveaskedAdelaideifsheiswillingtomarrymenextChristmas。SheisinterestedinmyunionwithAdelaide,andthenewswillbewelcometoher。'
  'Andyetshecanbeironwithreferencetomeandherproperty,'thefarmermurmured。'Verywell,Ted,I'lltellher。'
  6。DECEMBERTHEFIFTH
  Ofthemanycontradictoryparticularsconstitutingawoman'sheart,twohadshowntheirvigorouscontrastinCytherea'sbosomjustatthistime。
  Itwasadarkmorning,themorningafteroldMr。Springrove'svisittoMissAldclyffe,whichhadterminatedasEdwardhadintended。
  Havingrisenanhourearlierthanwasusualwithher,Cythereasatatthewindowofanelegantlittlesitting-roomonthegroundfloor,whichhadbeenappropriatedtoherbythekindnessorwhimofMissAldclyffe,thatshemightnotbedrivenintothatlady'spresenceagainstherwill。Sheleantwithherfaceonherhand,lookingoutintothegloomygreyair。Ayellowglimmerfromtheflappingflameofthenewly-litfireflutteredononesideofherfaceandnecklikeabutterflyabouttosettlethere,contrastingwarmlywiththeothersideofthesamefairface,whichreceivedfromthewindowthefaintcoldmorninglight,soweakthathershadowfromthefirehadadistinctoutlineonthewindow-shutterinspiteofit。Theretheshadowdancedlikeademon,blueandgrim。
  ThecontradictionalludedtowasthatinspiteofthedecisivemoodwhichtwomonthsearlierintheyearhadcausedhertowriteaperemptoryandfinallettertoEdward,shewasnowhopingforsomeanswerotherthantheonlypossibleoneamanwho,assheheld,didnotloveherwildly,couldsendtosuchacommunication。Foraloverwhodidlovewildly,shehadleftonelittleloopholeinherotherwisestraightforwardepistle。Whysheexpectedtheletteronsomemorningofthisparticularweekwas,thathearingofhisreturntoCarriford,shefondlyassumedthathemeanttoaskforaninterviewbeforeheleft。Henceitwas,too,thatforthelastfewdays,shehadnotbeenabletokeepinbedlaterthanthetimeofthepostman'sarrival。
  Theclockpointedtohalf-pastseven。Shesawthepostmanemergefrombeneaththebareboughsoftheparktrees,comethroughthewicket,divethroughtheshrubbery,reappearonthelawn,stalkacrossitwithoutreferencetopaths——ascountrypostmendo——andcometotheporch。Sheheardhimflingthebagdownontheseat,andturnawaytowardsthevillage,withouthinderinghimselfforasinglepace。
  Thenthebutleropenedthedoor,tookupthebag,broughtitin,andcarrieditupthestaircasetoplaceitontheslabbyMissAldclyffe'sdressing-roomdoor。Thewholeproceedinghadbeendepictedbysounds。
  Shehadapresentimentthatherletterwasinthebagatlast。Shethoughtthenindiminishingpulsationsofconfidence,'Heaskstoseeme!Perhapsheaskstoseeme:Ihopeheaskstoseeme。'
  Aquartertoeight:MissAldclyffe'sbell——ratherearlierthanusual。'Shemusthaveheardthepost-bagbrought,'saidthemaiden,as,tiredofthechillyprospectoutside,sheturnedtothefire,anddrewimaginativepicturesofherfuturetherein。
  Atapcametothedoor,andthelady's-maidentered。
  'MissAldclyffeisawake,'shesaid;'andsheaskedifyouweremovingyet,miss。'
  'I'llrunuptoher,'saidCytherea,andflittedoffwiththeutteranceofthewords。'Veryfortunatethis,'shethought;'I
  shallseewhatisinthebagthismorningallthesooner。'
  Shetookitupfromthesidetable,wentintoMissAldclyffe'sbedroom,pulleduptheblinds,andlookedroundupontheladyinbed,calculatingtheminutesthatmustelapsebeforeshelookedatherletters。
  'Well,darling,howareyou?Iamgladyouhavecomeintoseeme,'
  saidMissAldclyffe。'Youcanunlockthebagthismorning,child,ifyoulike,'shecontinued,yawningfactitiously。
  'Strange!'Cythereathought;'itseemsasifsheknewtherewaslikelytobealetterforme。'
  FromherbedMissAldclyffewatchedthegirl'sfaceasshetremblinglyopenedthepost-bagandfoundthereanenvelopeaddressedtoherinEdward'shandwriting;onehehadwrittenthedaybefore,afterthedecisionhehadcometoonanimpartial,andonthataccounttorturing,surveyofhisown,hisfather's,hiscousinAdelaide's,andwhathebelievedtobeCytherea's,position。
  Thehaughtymistress'ssoulsickenedremorsefullywithinherwhenshesawsuddenlyappearuponthespeakingcountenanceoftheyoungladybeforeherawandesolatelookofagony。
  Themaster-sentencesofEdward'sletterwerethese:'Youspeaktruly。Thatwenevermeetagainisthewisestandonlypropercourse。ThatIregretthepastasmuchasyoudoyourself,itishardlynecessaryformetosay。'
  XII。THEEVENTSOFTENMONTHS
  1。DECEMBERTOAPRIL
  Weekafterweek,monthaftermonth,thetimehadflownby。
  Christmashadpassed;drearywinterwithdarkeveningshadgivenplacetomoredrearywinterwithlightevenings。Thawshadendedinrain,raininwind,windindust。Showerydayshadcome——theperiodofpinkdawnsandwhitesunsets;withthethirdweekinAprilthecuckoohadappeared,withthefourth,thenightingale。
  EdwardSpringrovewasinLondon,attendingtothedutiesofhisnewoffice,andithadbecomeknownthroughouttheneighbourhoodofCarrifordthattheengagementbetweenhimselfandMissAdelaideHintonwouldterminateinmarriageattheendoftheyear。
  TheonlyoccasiononwhichherloveroftheidledeliciousdaysatBudmouthwatering-placehadbeenseenbyCythereaafterthetimeofthedecisivecorrespondence,wasonceinchurch,whenhesatinfrontofher,andbesideMissHinton。
  Therencounterwasquiteanaccident。SpringrovehadcomethereinthefullbeliefthatCythereawasawayfromhomewithMissAldclyffe;andhecontinuedignorantofherpresencethroughouttheservice。
  Itisatsuchmomentsasthese,whenasensitivenaturewrithesundertheconceptionthatitsmostcherishedemotionshavebeentreatedwithcontumely,thatthesphere-descendedMaid,Music,friendofPleasureatothertimes,becomesapositiveenemy——
  racking,bewildering,unrelenting。ThecongregationsangthefirstPsalmandcametotheverse——
  'Likesomefairtreewhich,fedbystreams,Withtimelyfruitdothbend,Hestillshallflourish,andsuccessAllhisdesignsattend。'
  Cytherea'slipsdidnotmove,nordidanysoundescapeher;butcouldshehelpsingingthewordsinthedepthsofherbeing,althoughthemantowhomsheappliedthemsatatherrival'sside?
  Perhapsthemoralcompensationforallawoman'spettyclevernessunderthrivingconditionsistherealnobilitythatliesinherextremefoolishnessattheseothertimes;hersheerinabilitytobesimplyjust,herexerciseofanillogicalpowerentirelydeniedtomeningeneral——thepowernotonlyofkissing,butofdelightingtokisstherodbyapunctiliousobservanceoftheself-immolatingdoctrinesintheSermonontheMount。
  AsforEdward——alittlelikeothermenofhistemperament,towhom,itissomewhathumiliatingtothink,theaberrancyofagivenloveisinitselfarecommendation——hissentiment,ashelookedoverhiscousin'sbook,wasofalowerrank,HoratianratherthanPsalmodic——
  'O,whathastthouofher,ofherWhoseeverylookdidloveinspire;
  Whoseeverybreathingfannedmyfire,Andstolemefrommyselfaway!'
  Then,withoutlettinghimseeher,Cythereasliptoutofchurchearly,andwenthome,thetonesoftheorganstilllingeringinherearsasshetriedbravelytokillajealousthoughtthatwouldneverthelesslive:'Mynatureisonecapableofmore,farmore,intensefeelingthanhers!Shecan'tappreciateallthesidesofhim——sheneverwill!Heismoretangibletomeevennow,asathought,thanhispresenceitselfistoher!'Shewaslessnoblethen。
  Butshecontinuallyrepressedhermiseryandbitternessofhearttilltheefforttodososhowedsignsoflessening。Atlengthsheeventriedtohopethatherlostloverandherrivalwouldloveoneanotherverydearly。
  Thesceneandthesentimentdroppedintothepast。Meanwhile,Manstoncontinuedvisiblybeforeher。He,thoughquietandsubduedinhisbearingforalongtimeafterthecalamityofNovember,hadnotsimulatedagriefthathedidnotfeel。Atfirsthislossseemedsotoabsorbhim——thoughasastartlingchangeratherthanasaheavysorrow——thathepaidCythereanoattentionwhatever。Hisconductwasuniformlykindandrespectful,butlittlemore。Then,asthedateofthecatastrophegrewremoter,hebegantowearadifferentaspecttowardsher。Healwayscontrivedtoobliteratebyhismannerallrecollectiononhersidethatshewascomparativelymoredependentthanhimself——makingmuchofherwomanhood,nothingofhersituation。Prompttoaidherwheneveroccasionoffered,andfullofdelightfulpetitssoinsatalltimes,hewasnotofficious。
  Inthiswayheirresistiblywonforhimselfapositionasherfriend,andthemoreeasilyinthatheallowednotthefaintestsymptomoftheoldlovetobeapparent。
  MattersstoodthusinthemiddleofthespringwhenthenextmoveonhisbehalfwasmadebyMissAldclyffe。
  2。THETHIRDOFMAY
  SheledCythereatoasummer-housecalledtheFane,builtintheprivategroundsaboutthemansionintheformofaGreciantemple;
  itoverlookedthelake,theislandonit,thetrees,andtheirundisturbedreflectioninthesmoothstillwater。Heretheoldandyoungmaidhalted;heretheystood,sidebyside,mentallyimbibingthescene。
  ThemonthwasMay——thetime,morning。Cuckoos,thrushes,blackbirds,andsparrowsgaveforthaperfectconfusionofsongandtwitter。Theroadwasspottedwhitewiththefallenleavesofapple-blossoms,andthesparklinggreydewstilllingeredonthegrassandflowers。Twoswansfloatedintoviewinfrontofthewomen,andthencrossedthewatertowardsthem。
  'Theyseemtocometouswithoutanywilloftheirown——quiteinvoluntarily——don'tthey?'saidCytherea,lookingatthebirds'
  gracefuladvance。
  'Yes,butifyoulooknarrowlyyoucanseetheirhipsjustbeneaththewater,workingwiththegreatestenergy。'
  'I'drathernotseethat,itspoilstheideaofproudindifferencetodirectionwhichweassociatewithaswan。'
  'Itdoes;we'llhave“involuntarily。“Ah,nowthisremindsmeofsomething。'
  'Ofwhat?'
  'Ofahumanbeingwhoinvoluntarilycomestowardsyourself。'
  CytherealookedintoMissAldclyffe'sface;hereyesgrewroundascircles,andlinesofwondermentcamevisiblyuponhercountenance。
  ShehadnotonceregardedManstonasaloversincehiswife'ssuddenappearanceandsubsequentdeath。Thedeathofawife,andsuchadeath,wasanoverwhelmingmatterinherideasofthings。
  'Isitamanorwoman?'shesaid,quiteinnocently。
  'Mr。Manston,'saidMissAldclyffequietly。
  'Mr。ManstonattractedbymeNOW?'saidCytherea,standingatgaze。
  'Didn'tyouknowit?'
  'CertainlyIdidnot。Why,hispoorwifehasonlybeendeadsixmonths。'
  'Ofcourseheknowsthat。Butlovingisnotdonebymonths,ormethod,orrule,ornobodywouldeverhaveinventedsuchaphraseas“fallinginlove。“Hedoesnotwanthislovetobeobservedjustyet,ontheveryaccountyoumention;butconcealitashemayfromhimselfandus,itexistsdefinitely——andveryintensely,Iassureyou。'
  'Isupposethen,thatifhecan'thelpit,itisnoharmofhim,'
  saidCythereanaively,andbeginningtoponder。
  'Ofcourseitisn't——youknowthatwellenough。Shewasagreatburdenandtroubletohim。Thismaybecomeagreatgoodtoyouboth。'
  Arushoffeelingatrememberingthatthesamewoman,beforeManston'sarrival,hadjustasfranklyadvocatedEdward'sclaims,checkedCytherea'sutteranceforawhile。
  'There,don'tlookatmelikethat,forHeaven'ssake!'saidMissAldclyffe。'Youcouldalmostkillapersonbytheforceofreproachyoucanputintothoseeyesofyours,Iverilybelieve。'
  Edwardonceintheyounglady'sthoughts,therewasnogettingridofhim。Shewantedtobealone。
  'Doyouwantmehere?'shesaid。
  'Nowthere,there;youwanttobeoff,andhaveagoodcry,'saidMissAldclyffe,takingherhand。'Butyoumustn't,mydear。
  There'snothinginthepastforyoutoregret。CompareMr。
  Manston'shonourableconducttowardshiswifeandyourself,withSpringrovetowardshisbetrothedandyourself,andthenseewhichappearsthemoreworthyofyourthoughts。'
  3。FROMTHEFOURTHOFMAYTOTHETWENTY-FIRSTOFJUNE
  ThenextstageinManston'sadvancestowardsherhandwasaclearlydefinedcourtship。Shewassadlyperplexed,andsomecontrivancewasnecessaryonhispartinordertomeetwithher。Butitisnexttoimpossibleforanappreciativewomantohaveapositiverepugnancetowardsanunusuallyhandsomeandgiftedman,eventhoughshemaynotbeinclinedtolovehim。HenceCythereawasnotsoalarmedatthesightofhimastorenderameetingandconversationwithhermorethanamatterofdifficulty。
  Comingandgoingfromchurchwashisgrandopportunity。Manstonwasveryreligiousnow。Itiscommonlysaidthatnomanwaseverconvertedbyargument,butthereisasingleonewhichwillmakeanyLaodiceaninEngland,lethimbeoncelove-sick,wearprayer-booksandbecomeazealousEpiscopalian——theargumentthathissweetheartcanbeseenfromhispew。
  Manstonintroducedintohismethodasystemofbewitchingflattery,everywherepervasive,yet,too,sotransitoryandintangible,that,asinthecaseofthepoetWordsworthandtheWanderingVoice,thoughshefeltitpresent,shecouldneverfindit。Asafoiltoheightenitseffect,heoccasionallyspokephilosophicallyoftheevanescenceoffemalebeauty——theworthlessnessofmereappearance。
  'Handsomeisthathandsomedoes'heconsideredaproverbwhichshouldbewrittenonthelooking-glassofeverywomanintheland。
  'Yourform,yourmotions,yourhearthavewonme,'hesaid,inatoneofplayfulsadness。'Theyarebeautiful。ButIseethesethings,anditcomesintomymindthattheyaredoomed,theyareglidingtonothingasIlook。Pooreyes,poormouth,poorface,poormaiden!“Wherewillhergloriesbeintwentyyears?”Isay。
  “Wherewillallofherbeinahundred?”ThenIthinkitiscruelthatyoushouldbloomaday,andfadeforeverandever。ItseemshardandsadthatyouwilldieasordinarilyasI,andbeburied;befoodforrootsandworms,beforgottenandcometoearth,andgrowupamerebladeofchurchyard-grassandanivyleaf。Then,MissGraye,whenIseeyouareaLovelyNothing,Ipityyou,andtheloveIfeelthenisbetterandsounder,largerandmorelastingthanthatIfeltatthebeginning。'Againanardentflashofhishandsomeeyes。
  Itwasbythisroutethatheventuredonanindirectdeclarationandofferofhishand。
  Sheimpliedinthesameindirectmannerthatshedidnotlovehimenoughtoacceptit。
  Anactualrefusalwasmorethanhehadexpected。Cursinghimselfforwhathecalledhisegregiousfollyinmakinghimselftheslaveofamerelady'sattendant,andforhavinggiventheparish,shouldtheyknowofherrefusal,achanceofsneeringathim——certainlyagroundforthinkinglessofhisstandingthanbefore——hewenthometotheOldHouse,andwalkedindecisivelyupanddownhisback-yard。
  Turningaside,heleanthisarmsupontheedgeoftherain-water-
  buttstandinginthecorner,andlookedintoit。ThereflectionfromthesmoothstagnantsurfacetingedhisfacewiththegreenishshadesofCorreggio'snudes。Stavesofsunlightslanteddownthroughthestillpool,lightingitupwithwonderfuldistinctness。
  Hundredsofthousandsofminutelivingcreaturessportedandtumbledinitsdepthwitheverycontortionthatgaietycouldsuggest;
  perfectlyhappy,thoughconsistingonlyofahead,oratail,oratmostaheadandatail,andalldoomedtodiewithinthetwenty-fourhours。
  'Damnmyposition!Whyshouldn'tIbehappythroughmylittledaytoo?Lettheparishsneeratmyrepulses,letit。I'llgether,ifImoveheavenandearthtodoit!'
  Indeed,theinexperiencedCythereahad,towardsEdwardinthefirstplace,andManstonafterwards,unconsciouslyadoptedbearingsthatwouldhavebeentheverytacticsofaprofessionalfisherofmenwhowishedtohavethemeachsuccessivelydanglingatherheels。Forifanyruleatallcanbelaiddowninamatterwhich,formencollectively,isnotoriouslybeyondregulation,itisthattosnubapettedman,andtopetasnubbedman,isthewaytowininsuitsofbothkinds。ManstonwithSpringrove'sencouragementwouldhavebecomeindifferent。EdwardwithManston'srepulseswouldhavesheeredoffattheoutset,ashedidafterwards。HersupremeindifferenceaddedfueltoManston'sardour——itcompletelydisarmedhispride。TheinvulnerableNobodyseemedgreatertohimthanasusceptiblePrincess。
  4。FROMTHETWENTY-FIRSTOFJUNETOTHEENDOFJULY
  Cythereahadinthemeantimereceivedthefollowingletterfromherbrother。Itwasthefirstdefinitenotificationoftheenlargementofthatcloudnobiggerthanaman'shandwhichhadfornearlyatwelvemonthhungbeforetheminthedistance,andwhichwassoontogiveacolourtotheirwholeskyfromhorizontohorizon。
  'BUDMOUTHREGIS,Saturday。
  'DARLINGSIS,——Ihavedelayedtellingyouforalongtimeofalittlematterwhich,thoughnotonetobeseriouslyalarmedabout,issufficientlyvexing,anditwouldbeunfairinmetokeepitfromyouanylonger。ItisthatforsometimepastIhaveagainbeendistressedbythatlamenesswhichIfirstdistinctlyfeltwhenwewenttoLulsteadCove,andagainwhenIleftKnapwaterthatmorningearly。Itisanunusualpaininmyleftleg,betweenthekneeandtheankle。Ihadjustfoundfreshsymptomsofitwhenyouwerehereforthathalf-houraboutamonthago——whenyousaidinfunthatI
  begantomovelikeanoldman。Ihadagoodmindtotellyouthen,butfancyingitwouldgooffinafewdays,Ithoughtitwasnotworthwhile。Sincethattimeithasincreased,butIamstillabletoworkintheoffice,sittingonthestool。MygreatfearisthatMr。G。willhavesomeout-doormeasuringworkformetodosoon,andthatIshallbeobligedtodeclineit。However,wewillhopeforthebest。Howitcame,whatwasitsorigin,orwhatittendsto,I
  cannotthink。Youshallhearagaininadayortwo,ifitisnobetter——Yourlovingbrother,OWEN。'
  Thissheanswered,beggingtoknowtheworst,whichshecouldbear,butsuspenseandanxietynever。Intwodayscameanotherletterfromhim,ofwhichthesubjoinedparagraphisaportion:——
  'Ihadquitedecidedtoletyouknowtheworst,andtoassureyouthatitwastheworst,beforeyouwrotetoaskit。AndagainIgiveyoumywordthatIwillconcealnothing——sothattherewillbenoexcusewhateverforyourwearingyourselfoutwithfearsthatIamworsethanIsay。Thismorningthen,forthefirsttime,Ihavebeenobligedtostayawayfromtheoffice。Don'tbefrightenedatthis,dearCytherea。Restisallthatiswanted,andbynursingmyselfnowforaweek,Imayavoidanillnessofsixmonths。'
  Afteravisitfromherhewroteagain:——
  'Dr。Chestmanhasseenme。Hesaidthattheailmentwassomesortofrheumatism,andIamnowundergoingpropertreatmentforitscure。Mylegandfoothavebeenplacedinhotbran,linimentshavebeenapplied,andalsoseverefrictionwithapad。HesaysIshallbeasrightaseverinaveryshorttime。DirectlyIamIshallrunupbythetraintoseeyou。Don'ttroubletocometomeifMissAldclyffegrumblesagainaboutyourbeingaway,forIamgoingoncapitally……Youshallhearagainattheendoftheweek。'
  Atthetimementionedcamethefollowing:——
  'Iamsorrytotellyou,becauseIknowitwillbesodishearteningaftermylastletter,thatIamnotsowellasIwasthen,andthattherehasbeenasortofhitchintheproceedings。AfterIhadbeentreatedforrheumatismafewdayslongerinwhichtreatmenttheyprickedtheplacewithalongneedleseveraltimes,IsawthatDr。
  Chestmanwasindoubtaboutsomething,andIrequestedthathewouldcallinabrotherprofessionalmantoseemeaswell。Theyconsultedtogetherandthentoldmethatrheumatismwasnotthediseaseafterall,buterysipelas。Theythenbegantreatingitdifferently,asbecameadifferentmatter。Blisters,flour,andstarch,seemtobetheorderofthedaynow——medicine,ofcourse,besides。
  'Mr。Gradfieldhasbeenintoinquireaboutme。Hesayshehasbeenobligedtogetadesignerinmyplace,whichgrievesmeverymuch,though,ofcourse,itcouldnotbeavoided。'
  Amonthpassedaway;throughoutthisperiod,Cythereavisitedhimasoftenasthelimitedtimeathercommandwouldallow,andworeascheerfulacountenanceasthewomanlydeterminationtodonothingwhichmightdepresshimcouldenablehertowear。Anotherletterfromhimthentoldhertheseadditionalfacts:——
  'Thedoctorsfindtheyareagainonthewrongtack。Theycannotmakeoutwhatthediseaseis。OCytherea!howIwishtheyknew!
  Thissuspenseiswearingmeout。CouldnotMissAldclyffespareyouforaday?Docometome。Wewilltalkaboutthebestcoursethen。
  Iamsorrytocomplain,butIamwornout。“
  CythereawenttoMissAldclyffe,andtoldherofthemelancholyturnherbrother'sillnesshadtaken。MissAldclyffeatoncesaidthatCythereamightgo,andofferedtodoanythingtoassistherwhichlayinherpower。Cytherea'seyesbeamedgratitudeassheturnedtoleavetheroom,andhastentothestation。
  'O,Cytherea,'saidMissAldclyffe,callingherback;'justoneword。HasMr。Manstonspokentoyoulately?'
  'Yes,'saidCytherea,blushingtimorously。
  'Heproposed?'
  'Yes。'
  'Andyourefusedhim?'
  'Yes。'
  'Tut,tut!Nowlistentomyadvice,'saidMissAldclyffeemphatically,'andaccepthimbeforehechangeshismind。Thechancewhichheoffersyouofsettlinginlifeisonethatmaypossibly,probably,notoccuragain。Hispositionisgoodandsecure,andthelifeofhiswifewouldbeahappyone。Youmaynotbesurethatyoulovehimmadly;butsupposeyouarenotsure?Myfatherusedtosaytomeasachildwhenhewasteachingmewhist,“Whenindoubtwinthetrick!”Thatadviceistentimesasvaluabletoawomanonthesubjectofmatrimony。Inrefusingamanthereisalwaystheriskthatyoumaynevergetanotheroffer。'
  'Whydidn'tyouwinthetrickwhenyouwereagirl?'saidCytherea。
  'Come,myladyPert;I'mnotthetext,'saidMissAldclyffe,herfaceglowinglikefire。
  Cytherealaughedstealthily。
  'Iwasabouttosay,'resumedMissAldclyffeseverely,'thathereisMr。Manstonwaitingwiththetenderestsolicitudeforyou,andyouoverlookingit,asifitwerealtogetherbeneathyou。ThinkhowyoumightbenefityoursickbrotherifyouwereMrs。Manston。YouwillpleasemeVERYMUCHbygivinghimsomeencouragement。Youunderstandme,Cythiedear?'
  Cythereawassilent。
  'And,'saidMissAldclyffe,stillmoreemphatically,'onyourpromisingthatyouwillaccepthimsometimethisyear,Iwilltakeespecialcareofyourbrother。Youarelistening,Cytherea?'
  'Yes,'shewhispered,leavingtheroom。
  ShewenttoBudmouth,passedthedaywithherbrother,andreturnedtoKnapwaterwretchedandfullofforeboding。Owenhadlookedstartlinglythinandpale——thinnerandpalerthanevershehadseenhimbefore。Thebrotherandsisterhadthatdaydecidedthatnotwithstandingthedrainupontheirslenderresources,anothersurgeonshouldseehim。Timewaseverything。
  Owentoldhertheresultinhisnextletter:——
  'Thethreepractitionersbetweenthemhaveatlasthitthenailonthehead,Ihope。Theyprobedtheplace,anddiscoveredthatthesecretlayinthebone。Iunderwentanoperationforitsremovalthreedaysagoaftertakingchloroform……ThankGoditisover。
  ThoughIamsoweak,myspiritsareratherbetter。IwonderwhenI
  shallbeatworkagain?Iaskedthesurgeonshowlongitwouldbefirst。Isaidamonth?Theyshooktheirheads。Ayear?Isaid。
  Notsolong,theysaid。Sixmonths?Iinquired。Theywouldnot,orcouldnot,tellme。Butnevermind。
  'Rundown,whenyouhavehalfadaytospare,forthehoursdragonsodrearily。OCytherea,youcan'tthinkhowdrearily!'
  Shewent。ImmediatelyonherdepartureMissAldclyffesentanotetotheOldHouse,toManston。Onthemaiden'sreturn,tiredandsickatheartasusual,shefoundManstonatthestationawaitingher。HeaskedpolitelyifhemightaccompanyhertoKnapwater。Shetacitlyacquiesced。Duringtheirwalkheinquiredtheparticularsofherbrother'sillness,andwithanirresistibledesiretopourouthertroubletosomeone,shetoldhimofthelengthoftimewhichmustelapsebeforehecouldbestrongagain,andofthelackofcomfortinlodgings。
  Manstonwassilentawhile。Thenhesaidimpetuously:'MissGraye,Iwillnotmincematters——Iloveyou——youknowit。Stratagemtheysayisfairinlove,andIamcompelledtoadoptitnow。Forgiveme,forIcannothelpit。Consenttobemywifeatanytimethatmaysuityou——anyremotedayyoumaynamewillsatisfyme——andyoushallfindhimwellprovidedfor。'
  Forthefirsttimeinherlifeshetrulydreadedthehandsomemanathersidewhopleadedthusselfishly,andshrankfromthehotvoluptuousnatureofhispassionforher,which,disguiseitashemightunderaquietandpolishedexterior,attimesradiatedforthwithascorchingwhiteheat。Sheperceivedhowanimalwasthelovewhichbargained。
  'Idonotloveyou,Mr。Manston,'sherepliedcoldly。
  5。FROMTHEFIRSTTOTHETWENTY-SEVENTHOFAUGUST
  Thelongsunnydaysofthelatersummer-timebroughtonlythesamedrearyaccountsfromBudmouth,andsawCythereapayingthesamesadvisits。
  Shegrewperceptiblyweaker,inbodyandmind。Manstonstillpersistedinhissuit,butwithmoreofhisformerindirectness,nowthathesawhowunexpectedlywellshestoodanopenattack。HiswasthesystemofDaresattheSiciliangames——
  'He,likeacaptainwhobeleaguersroundSomestrong-builtcastleonarisingground,Viewsalltheapproacheswithobservingeyes,Thisandthatotherpartagainhetries,Andmoreonindustrythanforcerelies。'
  MissAldclyffemadeitappearmoreclearlythaneverthataidtoOwenfromherselfdependedentirelyuponCytherea'sacceptanceofhersteward。Hemmedinanddistressed,Cytherea'sanswerstohisimportunitiesgrewlessuniform;theywerefirm,orwavering,asOwen'smaladyfluctuated。Hadaregisterofherpitifuloscillationsbeenkept,itwouldhaverivalledinpathosthediarywhereinDeQuinceytabulateshiscombatwithOpium——perhapsasnoticeableaninstanceasanyinwhichathrillingdramaticpowerhasbeengiventomerenumerals。Thusshewearilyandmonotonouslylivedthroughthemonth,listeningonSundaystothewellknownroundofchaptersnarratingthehistoryofElijahandElishainfamineanddrought;onweek-daystobuzzingfliesinhotsunnyrooms。'Solike,soverylike,wasdaytoday。'Extremelassitudeseemedallthattheworldcouldshowher。
  Herstatewasinthiswise,whenoneafternoon,havingbeenwithherbrother,shemetthesurgeon,andbeggedhimtotelltheactualtruthconcerningOwen'scondition。
  Thereplywasthathefearedthatthefirstoperationhadnotbeenthorough;thatalthoughthewoundhadhealed,anotherattemptmightstillbenecessary,unlessnaturewerelefttoeffectherowncure。
  Butthetimesuchaself-healingproceedingwouldoccupymightberuinous。
  'Howlongwoulditbe?'shesaid。
  'Itisimpossibletosay。Ayearortwo,moreorless。'
  'Andsupposehesubmittedtoanotherartificialextraction?'
  'Thenhemightbewellinfourorsixmonths。'
  Nowtheremainderofhisandherpossessions,togetherwithasumhehadborrowed,wouldnotprovidehimwithnecessarycomfortsforhalfthattime。Tocombatthemisfortune,thereweretwocoursesopen——
  herbecomingbetrothedtoManston,orthesendingOwentotheCountyHospital。
  Thusterrified,drivenintoacorner,pantingandflutteringaboutforsomeloopholeofescape,yetstillshrinkingfromtheideaofbeingManston'swife,thepoorlittlebirdendeavouredtofindoutfromMissAldclyffewhetheritwaslikelyOwenwouldbewelltreatedinthehospital。
  'CountyHospital!'saidMissAldclyffe;'why,itisonlyanothernameforslaughter-house——insurgicalcasesatanyrate。Certainlyifanythingaboutyourbodyissnaptintwotheydojoinyoutogetherinafashion,but'tissoaskewandugly,thatyoumayaswellbeapartagain。'Thensheterrifiedtheinquiringandanxiousmaidenbyrelatinghorridstoriesofhowthelegsandarmsofpoorpeoplewerecutoffatamoment'snotice,especiallyincaseswheretherestorativetreatmentwaslikelytobelongandtedious。
  'YouknowhowwillingIamtohelpyou,Cytherea,'sheaddedreproachfully。'Youknowit。Whyareyousoobstinatethen?Whydoyouselfishlybartheclear,honourable,andonlysisterlypathwhichleadsoutofthisdifficulty?Icannot,onmyconscience,countenanceyou;no,Icannot。'
  Manstononcemorerepeatedhisoffer;andoncemoresherefused,butthistimeweakly,andwithsignsofaninternalstruggle。Manston'seyesparkled;hesawforthehundredthtimeinhislife,thatperseverance,ifonlysystematic,wasirresistiblebywomankind。
  6。THETWENTY-SEVENTHOFAUGUST
  OngoingtoBudmouththreedayslater,shefoundtohersurprisethatthestewardhadbeenthere,hadintroducedhimself,andhadseenherbrother。Afewdelicacieshadbeenbroughthimalsobythesamehand。OwenspokeinwarmtermsofManstonandhisfreeandunceremoniouscall,ashecouldnothaverefrainedfromdoingofanyperson,ofanykind,whosepresencehadservedtohelpawaythetedioushoursofalongday,andwhohad,moreover,shownthatsortofconsiderationforhimwhichtheaccompanyingbasketimplied——
  antecedentconsideration,sotellinguponallinvalids——andwhichhesoseldomexperiencedexceptfromthehandsofhissister。
  Howshouldheperceive,amidthistithe-payingofmint,andanise,andcummin,theweightiermatterswhichwereleftundone?
  AgainthestewardmetheratCarrifordRoadStationonherreturnjourney。Insteadofbeingfrigidasattheformermeetingatthesameplace,shewasembarrassedbyastrifeofthought,andmurmuredbrokenlyherthanksforwhathehaddone。Thesamerequestthathemightseeherhomewasmade。
  HehadperceivedhiserrorinmakinghiskindnesstoOwenaconditionalkindness,andhadhastenedtoeffaceallrecollectionofit。'ThoughIletmyofferonherbrother's——myfriend's——behalf,seemdependentonmylady'sgraciousnesstome,'hewhisperedwooinglyinthecourseoftheirwalk,'Icouldnotconscientiouslyadheretomystatement;itwassaidwithalltheimpulsiveselfishnessoflove。Whetheryouchoosetohaveme,orwhetheryoudon't,Iloveyoutoodevotedlytobeanythingbutkindtoyourbrother……MissGraye,Cytherea,Iwilldoanything,'hecontinuedearnestly,'togiveyoupleasure——indeedIwill。'
  Shesawontheonehandherpoorandmuch-lovedOwenrecoveringfromhisillnessandtroublesbythedisinterestedkindnessofthemanbesideher,ontheothershedrewhimdying,whollybyreasonofherself-enforcedpoverty。Tomarrythismanwasobviouslythecourseofcommonsense,torefusehimwasimpolitictemerity。Therewasreasoninthis。Buttherewasmorebehindthanahundredreasons——awoman'sgratitudeandherimpulsetobekind。
  Thewaveringofhermindwasvisibleinhertell-taleface。Henoticedit,andcaughtattheopportunity。
  Theywerestandingbytheruinousfoundationsofanoldmillinthemidstofameadow。Betweengreyandhalf-overgrownstonework——theonlysignsofmasonryremaining——thewatergurgleddownfromtheoldmillpondtoalowerlevel,underthecloakofrankbroadleaves——thesensuousnaturesofthevegetableworld。Ontherighthandthesun,restingonthehorizon-line,streamedacrossthegroundfrombelowcopper-colouredandlilacclouds,stretchedoutinflatsbeneathaskyofpalesoftgreen。Alldarkobjectsontheearththatlaytowardsthesunwereoverspreadbyapurplehaze,againstwhichaswarmofwailinggnatsshoneforthluminously,risingupwardandfloatingawaylikesparksoffire。
  Thestillnessoppressedandreducedhertomerepassivity。Theonlywishthehumidityoftheplaceleftinherwastostandmotionless。
  Thehelplessflatnessofthelandscapegaveher,asitgivesallsuchtemperaments,asenseofbareequalitywith,andnosuperiorityto,asingleentityunderthesky。
  Hecamesoclosethattheirclothestouched。'Willyoutrytoloveme?Dotrytoloveme!'hesaid,inawhisper,takingherhand。Hehadnevertakenitbefore。Shecouldfeelhishandtremblingexceedinglyasitheldhersinitsclasp。
  Consideringhiskindnesstoherbrother,hisloveforherself,andEdward'sfickleness,oughtshetoforbidhimtodothis?Howtrulypitifulitwastofeelhishandtrembleso——allforher!Shouldshewithdrawherhand?Shewouldthinkwhethershewould。Thinking,andhesitating,shelookedasfarastheautumnalhazeonthemarshygroundwouldallowhertoseedistinctly。Therewasthefragmentofahedge——allthatremainedofa'wetoldgarden'——standinginthemiddleofthemead,withoutadefinitebeginningorending,purposelessandvalueless。Itwasovergrown,andchokedwithmandrakes,andshecouldalmostfancysheheardtheirshrieks……
  Shouldshewithdrawherhand?No,shecouldnotwithdrawitnow;itwastoolate,theactwouldnotimplyrefusal。Shefeltasoneinaboatwithoutoars,driftingwithclosedeyesdownariver——sheknewnotwhither。
  Hegaveherhandagentlepressure,andrelinquishedit。
  Thenitseemedasifhewerecomingtothepointagain。No,hewasnotgoingtourgehissuitthatevening。Anotherrespite。
  7。THEEARLYPARTOFSEPTEMBER
  Saturdaycame,andshewentonsometrivialerrandtothevillagepost-office。Itwasalittlegreycottagewithaluxuriantjasmineencirclingthedoorway,andbeforegoinginCythereapausedtoadmirethispleasingfeatureoftheexterior。Hearingasteponthegravelbehindthecornerofthehouse,sheresignedthejasmineandentered。Nobodywasintheroom。ShecouldhearMrs。Leat,thewidowwhoactedaspostmistress,walkingaboutoverherhead。
  CythereawasgoingtothefootofthestairstocallMrs。Leat,butbeforeshehadaccomplishedherobject,anotherformstoodatthehalf-opendoor。Manstoncamein。
  'Bothonthesameerrand,'hesaidgracefully。
  'Iwillcallher,'saidCytherea,movinginhastetothefootofthestairs。
  'Onemoment。'Heglidedtoherside。'Don'tcallherforamoment,'herepeated。
  Butshehadsaid,'Mrs。Leat!'
  HeseizedCytherea'shand,kissedittenderly,andcarefullyreplaceditbyherside。
  Shehadthatmorningdeterminedtocheckhisfurtheradvances,untilshehadthoroughlyconsideredherposition。Theremonstrancewasnowonhertongue,butasaccidentwouldhaveit,beforethewordcouldbespokenMrs。Leatwassteppingfromthelaststairtothefloor,andnoremonstrancecame。
  Withthesubtletywhichcharacterizedhiminallhisdealingswithher,hequicklyconcludedhisownerrand,badeheragood-bye,inthetonesofwhichlovewassogarnishedwithpurepolitenessthatitonlyshoweditspresencetoherself,andleftthehouse——puttingitoutofherpowertorefusehimhercompanionshiphomeward,ortoobjecttohislateactionofkissingherhand。
  TheFridayofthenextweekbroughtanotherletterfromherbrother。
  Inthisheinformedherthat,inabsolutegrieflestheshoulddistressherunnecessarily,hehadsometimeearlierborrowedafewpounds。Aweekago,hesaid,hiscreditorbecameimportunate,butthatonthedayonwhichhewrote,thecreditorhadtoldhimtherewasnohurryforasettlement,that'hisSISTER'SSUITORhadguaranteedthesum。''IsheMr。Manston?tellme,Cytherea,'saidOwen。
  Healsomentionedthatawheeledchairhadbeenanonymouslyhiredforhisespecialuse,thoughasyethewashardlyfarenoughadvancedtowardsconvalescencetoavailhimselfoftheluxury。'IsthisMr。Manston'sdoing?'heinquired。
  Shecoulddallywithherperplexity,evadeit,trusttotimeforguidance,nolonger。Thematterhadcometoacrisis:shemustonceandforallchoosebetweenthedictatesofherunderstandingandthoseofherheart。Shelonged,tillhersoulseemednightobursting,forherlostmother'sreturntoearth,butforoneminute,thatshemighthavetendercounseltoguideherthroughthis,hergreatdifficulty。
  Asforherheart,shehalffanciedthatitwasnotEdward'stoquitetheextentthatitoncehadbeen;shethoughthimcruelinconductinghimselftowardsherashedidatBudmouth,cruelafterwardsinmakingsolightofher。Sheknewhehadstifledhisloveforher——wasutterlylosttoher。Butforallthatshecouldnothelpindulginginawoman'spleasureofrecreatingdefunctagonies,andlaceratingherselfwiththemnowandthen。
  'IfIwererich,'shethought,'Iwouldgivewaytotheluxuryofbeingmorbidlyfaithfultohimforeverwithouthisknowledge。'
  Butsheconsidered;inthefirstplaceshewasahomelessdependent;
  andwhatdidpracticalwisdomtellhertodoundersuchdesperatecircumstances?Toprovideherselfwithsomeplaceofrefugefrompoverty,andwithmeanstoaidherbrotherOwen。ThiswastobeMr。
  Manston'swife。
  Shedidnotlovehim。
  Butwhatwaslovewithoutahome?Misery。Whatwasahomewithoutlove?Alas,notmuch;butstillakindofhome。
  'Yes,'shethought,'IamurgedbymycommonsensetomarryMr。
  Manston。'
  Didanythingnoblerinhersaysotoo?
  WiththedeathtoherofEdwardherheart'soccupationwasgone。
  Wasitnecessaryorevenrightforhertotenditandtakecareofitassheusedtointheoldtime,whenitwasstillacapableminister?
  Byaslightsacrificehereshecouldgivehappinesstoatleasttwoheartswhoseemotionalactivitieswerestillunwounded。Shewoulddogoodtotwomenwhoseliveswerefarmoreimportantthanhers。
  'Yes,'shesaidagain,'evenChristianityurgesmetomarryMr。
  Manston。'
  DirectlyCythereahadpersuadedherselfthatakindofheroicself-
  abnegationhadtodowiththematter,shebecamemuchmorecontentintheconsiderationofit。Awilfulindifferencetothefuturewaswhatreallyprevailedinher,illandwornout,asshewas,bytheperpetualharassmentsofhersadfortune,andsheregardedthisindifference,asgushingnatureswilldoundersuchcircumstances,asgenuineresignationanddevotedness。
  Manstonmetheragainthefollowingday:indeed,therewasnoescapinghimnow。Attheendofashortconversationbetweenthem,whichtookplaceinthehollowoftheparkbythewaterfall,obscuredontheoutersidebythelowhangingbranchesofthelimes,shetacitlyassentedtohisassumptionofaprivilegegreaterthananythathadprecededit。Hestoopedandkissedherbrow。
  BeforegoingtobedshewrotetoOwenexplainingthewholematter。
  Itwastoolateintheeveningforthepostman'svisit,andsheplacedtheletteronthemantelpiecetosenditthenextday。
  ThemorningSundaybroughtahurriedpostscripttoOwen'sletterofthedaybefore:——
  'September9,1865。
  'DEARCYTHEREA——IhavereceivedafrankandfriendlyletterfromMr。
  Manstonexplainingthepositioninwhichhestandsnow,andalsothatinwhichhehopestostandtowardsyou。Can'tyoulovehim?
  Whynot?Try,forheisagood,andnotonlythat,butaculturedman。Thinkofthewearyandlaboriousfuturethatawaitsyouifyoucontinueforlifeinyourpresentposition,anddoyouseeanywayofescapefromitexceptbymarriage?Idon't。Don'tgoagainstyourheart,Cytherea,butbewise——Everaffectionatelyyours,OWEN。'
  ShethoughtthatprobablyhehadrepliedtoMr。Manstoninthesamefavouringmood。Shehadaconvictionthatthatdaywouldsettleherdoom。Yet'Sotrueafoolislove,'
  thatevennowshenourishedahalf-hopethatsomethingwouldhappenatthelastmomenttothwartherdeliberately-formedintentions,andfavourtheoldemotionshewasusingallherstrengthtothrustdown。
  8。THETENTHOFSEPTEMBER
  TheSundaywasthethirteenthafterTrinity,andtheafternoonserviceatCarrifordwasnearlyover。ThepeopleweresingingtheEveningHymn。
  ManstonwasatchurchasusualinhisaccustomedplacetwoseatsforwardfromthelargesquarepewoccupiedbyMissAldclyffeandCytherea。
  Theordinarysadnessofanautumnalevening-serviceseemed,inCytherea'seyes,tobedoubledonthisparticularoccasion。Shelookedatallthepeopleastheystoodandsang,wavingbackwardsandforwardslikeaforestofpinesswayedbyagentlebreeze;thenatthevillagechildrensingingtoo,theirheadsinclinedtooneside,theireyeslistlesslytracingsomecrackintheoldwalls,orfollowingthemovementofadistantboughorbirdwithfeaturespetrifiedalmosttopainfulness。ThenshelookedatManston;hewasalreadyregardingherwithsomepurposeinhisglance。
  'Itiscomingthisevening,'shesaidinhermind。Aminutelater,attheendofthehymn,whenthecongregationbegantomoveout,Manstoncamedowntheaisle。Hewasoppositetheendofherseatasshesteppedfromit,theremainderoftheirprogresstothedoorbeingincontactwitheachother。MissAldclyffehadlingeredbehind。
  'Don'tlet'shurry,'hesaid,whenCythereawasabouttoentertheprivatepathtotheHouseasusual。'WouldyoumindturningdownthiswayforaminutetillMissAldclyffehaspassed?'
  Shecouldnotverywellrefusenow。Theyturnedintoasecludedpathontheirleft,leadingroundthroughathicketoflaurelstotheothergateofthechurch-yard,walkingveryslowly。Bythetimethefurthergatewasreached,thechurchwasclosed。Theymetthesextonwiththekeysinhishand。
  'Wearegoinginsideforaminute,'saidManstontohim,takingthekeysunceremoniously。'Iwillbringthemtoyouwhenwereturn。'
  Thesextonnoddedhisassent,andCythereaandManstonwalkedintotheporch,andupthenave。
  Theydidnotspeakawordduringtheirprogress,orinanywayinterferewiththestillnessandsilencethatprevailedeverywherearoundthem。Everythingintheplacewastheembodimentofdecay:
  thefadingredglarefromthesettingsun,whichcameinatthewestwindow,emphasizingtheendofthedayandallitscheerfuldoings,themildewedwalls,theunevenpaving-stones,thewormypews,thesenseofrecentoccupation,andthedankairofdeathwhichhadgatheredwiththeevening,wouldhavemadegravealightermoodthanCytherea'swasthen。
  'Whatsensationsdoestheplaceimpressyouwith?'shesaidatlast,verysadly。
  'Ifeelimperativelycalledupontobehonest,fromverydespairofachievinganythingbystratageminaworldwherethematerialsaresuchasthese。'He,too,spokeinadepressedvoice,purposelyorotherwise。
  'IfeelasifIwerealmostashamedtobeseenwalkingsuchaworld,'shemurmured;'that'stheeffectithasuponme;butitdoesnotinducemetobehonestparticularly。'
  Hetookherhandinbothhis,andlookeddownuponthelidsofhereyes。
  'Ipityyousometimes,'hesaidmoreemphatically。
  'Iampitiable,perhaps;soaremanypeople。Whydoyoupityme?'
  'Ithinkthatyoumakeyourselfneedlesslysad。'
  'Notneedlessly。'
  'Yes,needlessly。Whyshouldyoubeseparatedfromyourbrothersomuch,whenyoumighthavehimtostaywithyoutillheiswell?'
  'Thatcan'tbe,'shesaid,turningaway。
  Hewenton,'IthinktherealandonlygoodthingthatcanbedoneforhimistogethimawayfromBudmouthawhile;andIhavebeenwonderingwhetheritcouldnotbemanagedforhimtocometomyhousetoliveforafewweeks。Onlyaquarterofamilefromyou。
  Howpleasantitwouldbe!'
  'Itwould。'
  Hemovedhimselfroundimmediatelytothefrontofher,andheldherhandmorefirmly,ashecontinued,'Cytherea,whydoyousay“Itwould,“soentirelyinthetoneofabstractsupposition?Iwanthimthere:Iwanthimtobemybrother,too。Thenmakehimso,andbemywife!Icannotlivewithoutyou。OCytherea。mydarling,mylove,comeandbemywife!'
  Hisfacebentcloserandclosertohers,andthelastwordssanktoawhisperasweakastheemotioninspiringitwasstrong。
  Shesaidfirmlyanddistinctly,'Yes,Iwill。'
  'Nextmonth?'hesaidontheinstant,beforetakingbreath。
  'No;notnextmonth。'
  'Thenext?'
  'No。'
  'December?ChristmasDay,say?'
  'Idon'tmind。'
  'O,youdarling!'Hewasabouttoimprintakissuponherpale,coldmouth,butshehastilycovereditwithherhand。
  'Don'tkissme——atleastwherewearenow!'shewhisperedimploringly。
  'Why?'
  'WearetoonearGod。'
  Hegaveasuddenstart,andhisfaceflushed。Shehadspokensoemphaticallythatthewords'NearGod'echoedbackagainthroughthehollowbuildingfromthefarendofthechancel。
  'Whatathingtosay!'heexclaimed;'surelyapurekissisnotinappropriatetotheplace!'
  'No,'shereplied,withaswellingheart;'Idon'tknowwhyIburstoutso——Ican'ttellwhathascomeoverme!Willyouforgiveme?'
  'HowshallIsay“Yes“withoutjudgingyou?HowshallIsay“No“
  withoutlosingthepleasureofsaying“Yes?”'Hewashimselfagain。
  'Idon'tknow,'sheabsentlymurmured。
  'I'llsay“Yes,“'heanswereddaintily。'Itissweetertofancyweareforgiven,thantothinkwehavenotsinned;andyoushallhavethesweetnesswithouttheneed。'
  Shedidnotreply,andtheymovedaway。Thechurchwasnearlydarknow,andmelancholyintheextreme。Shestoodbesidehimwhilehelockedthedoor,thentookthearmhegaveher,andwoundherwayoutofthechurchyardwithhim。Thentheywalkedtothehousetogether,butthegreatmatterhavingbeensetatrest,shepersistedintalkingonlyonindifferentsubjects。
  'ChristmasDay,then,'hesaid,astheywerepartingattheendoftheshrubbery。
  'ImeantOldChristmasDay,'shesaidevasively。
  'H'm,peopledonotusuallyattachthatmeaningtothewords。'
  'No;butIshouldlikeitbestifitcouldnotbetillthen?'Itseemedtobestillherinstincttodelaythemarriagetotheutmost。
  'Verywell,love,'hesaidgently。''Tisafortnightlongerstill;
  butnevermind。OldChristmasDay。'
  9。THEELEVENTHOFSEPTEMBER
  'There。ItwillbeonaFriday!'
  Shesatuponalittlefootstoolgazingintentlyintothefire。Itwastheafternoonofthedayfollowingthatofthesteward'ssuccessfulsolicitationofherhand。
  'IwonderifitwouldbeproperinmetorunacrosstheparkandtellhimitisaFriday?'shesaidtoherself,risingtoherfeet,lookingatherhatlyingnear,andthenoutofthewindowtowardstheOldHouse。Properornot,shefeltthatshemustatallhazardsremovethedisagreeable,though,assheherselfowned,unfoundedimpressionthecoincidencehadoccasioned。Sheleftthehousedirectly,andwenttosearchforhim。
  Manstonwasinthetimber-yard,lookingatthesawyersastheyworked。Cythereacameuptohimhesitatingly。Tillwithinadistanceofafewyardsshehadhurriedforwardwithalacrity——nowthatthepracticalexpressionofhisfacebecamevisibleshewishedalmostshehadneversoughthimonsuchanerrand;inhisbusiness-
  moodhewasperhapsverystern。
  'ItwillbeonaFriday,'shesaidconfusedly,andwithoutanypreface。
  'Comethisway!'saidManston,inthetoneheusedforworkmen,notbeingabletoalterataninstant'snotice。Hegaveherhisarmandledherbackintotheavenue,bywhichtimehewasloveragain。'OnaFriday,willit,dearest?YoudonotmindFridays,surely?
  That'snonsense。'
  'Notseriouslymindthem,exactly——butifitcouldbeanyotherday?'
  'Well,letussayOldChristmasEve,then。ShallitbeOldChristmasEve?'
  'Yes,OldChristmasEve。'
  'Yourwordissolemn,andirrevocablenow?'
  'Certainly,Ihavesolemnlypledgedmyword;IshouldnothavepromisedtomarryyouifIhadnotmeantit。Don'tthinkIshould。'
  Shespokethewordswithadignifiedimpressiveness。
  'Youmustnotbevexedatmyremark,dearest。Canyouthinktheworseofanardentman,Cytherea,forshowingsomeanxietyinlove?'
  'No,no。'Shecouldnotsaymore。Shewasalwaysillateasewhenhespokeofhimselfasapieceofhumannatureinthatanalyticalway,andwantedtobeoutofhispresence。Thetimeofday,andtheproximityofthehouse,affordedherameansofescape。'ImustbewithMissAldclyffenow——willyouexcusemyhastycomingandgoing?'
  shesaidprettily。Beforehehadrepliedshehadpartedfromhim。
  'Cytherea,wasitMr。ManstonIsawyouscuddingawayfromintheavenuejustnow?'saidMissAldclyffe,whenCythereajoinedher。
  'Yes。'
  '“Yes。“Come,whydon'tyousaymorethanthat?Ihatethosetaciturn“Yesses“ofyours。Itellyoueverything,andyetyouareascloseaswaxwithme。'
  'IpartedfromhimbecauseIwantedtocomein。'
  'Whatanovelandimportantannouncement!Well,isthedayfixed?'
  'Yes。'
  MissAldclyffe'sfacekindledintointenseinterestatonce。'Isitindeed?Whenisittobe?'
  'OnOldChristmasEve。'
  'OldChristmasEve。'MissAldclyffedrewCytherearoundtoherfront,andtookahandineachofherown。'Andthenyouwillbeabride!'shesaidslowly,lookingwithcriticalthoughtfulnessuponthemaiden'sdelicatelyroundedcheeks。
  Thenormalareaofthecolouruponeachofthemdecreasedperceptiblyafterthatslowandemphaticutterancebytheelderlady。
  MissAldclyffecontinuedimpressively,'Youdidnotsay“OldChristmasEve“asafianceeshouldhavesaidthewords:andyoudon'treceivemyremarkwiththewarmexcitementthatforeshadowsabrightfuture……Howmanyweeksaretheretothetime?'
  'Ihavenotreckonedthem。'
  'Not?Fancyagirlnotcountingtheweeks!IfindImusttaketheleadinthismatter——youaresochildish,orfrightened,orstupid,orsomething,aboutit,Bringmemydiary,andwewillcountthematonce。'
  Cythereasilentlyfetchedthebook。
  MissAldclyffeopenedthediaryatthepagecontainingthealmanac,andcountedsixteenweeks,whichbroughthertothethirty-firstofDecember——aSunday。Cythereastoodby,lookingonasifshehadnoappetiteforthescene。
  'Sixteentothethirty-first。Thenletmesee,MondaywillbethefirstofJanuary,Tuesdaythesecond,Wednesdaythird,Thursdayfourth,Fridayfifth——youhavechosenaFriday,asIdeclare!'
  'AThursday,surely?'saidCytherea。
  'No:OldChristmasDaycomesonaSaturday。'
  Theperturbedlittlebrainhadreckonedwrong。'Well,itmustbeaFriday,'shemurmuredinareverie。
  'No:haveitaltered,ofcourse,'saidMissAldclyffecheerfully。
  'There'snothingbadinFriday,butsuchacreatureasyouwillbethinkingaboutitsbeingunlucky——infact,Iwouldn'tchooseaFridaymyselftobemarriedon,sincealltheotherdaysareequallyavailable。'
  'Ishallnothaveitaltered,'saidCythereafirmly;'ithasbeenalteredoncealready:Ishallletitbe。'