Chichikovdulythankedhisinterlocutor，butcontinuedtodeclineeitherthegreyhorseortheroanmare。
　　“Thenbuyafewdogs，“saidNozdrev。“Icansellyouacoupleofhidesa-quiver，earswellpricked，coatslikequills，ribsbarrel-shaped，andpawssotuckedupasscarcelytograzethegroundwhentheyrun。“
　　“Ofwhatusewouldthosedogsbetome？Iamnotasportsman。“
　　“ButIWANTyoutohavethedogs。Listen。Ifyouwon'thavethedogs，thenbuymybarrel-organ。'Tisasplendidinstrument。AsamanofhonourIcantellyouthat，whennew，itcostmefifteenhundredroubles。Well，youshallhaveitforninehundred。“
　　“Come，come！WhatshouldIwantwithabarrel-organ？IamnotaGerman，togohaulingitabouttheroadsandbeggingforcoppers。“
　　“ButthisisquiteadifferentkindoforganfromtheonewhichGermanstakeaboutwiththem。Yousee，itisaREALorgan。Lookatitforyourself。Itismadeofthebestwood。Iwilltakeyoutohaveanotherviewofit。“
　　AndseizingChichikovbythehand，Nozdrevdrewhimtowardstheotherroom，where，inspiteofthefactthatChichikov，withhisfeetplantedfirmlyonthefloor，assuredhishost，againandagain，thatheknewexactlywhattheorganwaslike，hewasforcedoncemoretohearhowMarlboroughwenttothewar。
　　“Then，sinceyoudon'tcaretogivemeanymoneyforit，“persistedNozdrev，“listentothefollowingproposal。Iwillgiveyouthebarrel-organandallthedeadsoulswhichIpossess，andinreturnyoushallgivemeyourbritchka，andanotherthreehundredroublesintothebargain。“
　　“Listentotheman！Inthatcase，whatshouldIhavelefttodrivein？”
　　“Oh，Iwouldstandyouanotherbritchka。Cometothecoach-house，andIwillshowyoutheoneImean。Itonlyneedsrepaintingtolookaperfectlysplendidbritchka。“
　　“Theramping，incorrigibledevil！”thoughtChichikovtohimselfasatallhazardsheresolvedtoescapefrombritchkas，organs，andeveryspeciesofdog，howevermarvellouslybarrel-ribbedandtuckedupofpaw。
　　“Andinexchange，youshallhavethebritchka，thebarrel-organ，andthedeadsouls，“repeatedNozdrev。
　　“Imustdeclinetheoffer，“saidChichikov。
　　“Andwhy？”
　　“BecauseIdon'tWANTthethings——Iamfullupalready。“
　　“Icanseethatyoudon'tknowhowthingsshouldbedonebetweengoodfriendsandcomrades。Plainlyyouareamanoftwofaces。“
　　“Whatdoyoumean，youfool？Thinkforyourself。WhyshouldIacquirearticleswhichIdon'twant？”
　　“Saynomoreaboutit，ifyouplease。Ihavequitetakenyourmeasure。
　　Butseehere。Shouldyoucaretoplayagameofbanker？Iamreadytostakeboththedeadsoulsandthebarrel-organatcards。“
　　“No；toleaveanissuetocardsmeanstosubmitoneselftotheunknown，“saidChichikov，covertlyglancingatthepackwhichNozdrevhadgotinhishands。Somehowthewayinwhichhiscompanionhadcutthatpackseemedtohimsuspicious。
　　“Why'totheunknown'？”askedNozdrev。“Thereisnosuchthingas'theunknown。'Shouldluckbeonyourside，youmaywinthedevilknowswhatahaul。Oh，luck，luck！”hewenton，beginningtodeal，inthehopeofraisingaquarrel。“Hereisthecursednineuponwhich，theothernight，Ilosteverything。AllalongIknewthatIshouldlosemymoney。SaidItomyself：'Thedeviltakeyou，youfalse，accursedcard！'“
　　JustasNozdrevutteredthewordsPorphyrienteredwithafreshbottleofliquor；butChichikovdeclinedeithertoplayortodrink。
　　“Whydoyourefusetoplay？”askedNozdrev。
　　“BecauseIfeelindisposedtodoso。Moreover，ImustconfessthatI
　　amnogreathandatcards。“
　　“WHYareyounogreathandatthem？”
　　Chichikovshruggedhisshoulders。“BecauseIamnot，“hereplied。
　　“YouarenogreathandatANYTHING，Ithink。“
　　“Whatdoesthatmatter？Godhasmademeso。“
　　“ThetruthisthatyouareaThetuk，andnothingelse。OnceuponatimeIbelievedyoutobeagoodfellow，butnowIseethatyoudon'tunderstandcivility。Onecannotspeaktoyouasonewouldtoanintimate，forthereisnofranknessorsincerityaboutyou。YouarearegularSobakevitch——justsuchanotherashe。“
　　“Forwhatreasonareyouabusingme？AmIinanywayatfaultfordecliningtoplaycards？Sellmethosesoulsifyouarethemantohesitateoversuchrubbish。“
　　“Thefoulfiendtakeyou！Iwasabouttohavegiventhemtoyoufornothing，butnowyoushan'thavethematall——notifyouoffermethreekingdomsinexchange。HenceforthIwillhavenothingtodowithyou，youcobbler，youdirtyblacksmith！Porphyri，goandtelltheostlertogivethegentleman'shorsesnooats，butonlyhay。“
　　ThisdevelopmentChichikovhadhardlyexpected。
　　“Anddoyou，“addedNozdrevtohisguest，“getoutofmysight。“
　　Yetinspiteofthis，hostandguesttooksuppertogether——eventhoughonthisoccasionthetablewasadornedwithnowinesoffictitiousnomenclature，butonlywithabottlewhichreareditssolitaryheadbesideajugofwhatisusuallyknownasvinordinaire。WhensupperwasoverNozdrevsaidtoChichikovasheconductedhimtoasideroomwhereabedhadbeenmadeup：
　　“Thisiswhereyouaretosleep。Icannotverywellwishyougood-night。“
　　LefttohimselfonNozdrev'sdeparture，Chichikovfeltinamostunenviableframeofmind。Fullofinwardvexation，heblamedhimselfbitterlyforhavingcometoseethismanandsowastedvaluabletime；
　　butevenmoredidheblamehimselfforhavingtoldhimofhisscheme——forhavingactedascarelesslyasachildoramadman。OfasuretytheschemewasnotonewhichoughttohavebeenconfidedtoamanlikeNozdrev，forhewasaworthlessfellowwhomightlieaboutit，andappendadditionstoit，andspreadsuchstoriesaswouldgiverisetoGodknowswhatscandals。“Thisisindeedbad！”Chichikovsaidtohimself。“Ihavebeenanabsolutefool。“Consequentlyhespentanuneasynight——thisuneasinessbeingincreasedbythefactthatanumberofsmall，butvigorous，insectssofeasteduponhimthathecoulddonothingbutscratchthespotsandexclaim，“ThedeviltakeyouandNozdrevalike！”Onlywhenmorningwasapproachingdidhefallasleep。Onrising，hemadeithisfirstbusinessafterdonningdressing-gownandslipperstocrossthecourtyardtothestable，forthepurposeoforderingSelifantoharnessthebritchka。JustashewasreturningfromhiserrandheencounteredNozdrev，cladinadressing-gown，andholdingapipebetweenhisteeth。
　　Hostandguestgreetedoneanotherinfriendlyfashion，andNozdrevinquiredhowChichikovhadslept。
　　“Fairlywell，“repliedChichikov，butwithatouchofdrynessinhistone。
　　“Thesamewithmyself，“saidNozdrev。“Thetruthisthatsuchalotofnastybruteskeptcrawlingovermethateventospeakofitgivesmetheshudders。Likewise，astheeffectoflastnight'sdoings，awholesquadronofsoldiersseemedtobecampingonmychest，andgivingmeaflogging。Ugh！AndwhomalsodoyouthinkIsawinadream？Youwouldneverguess。Why，itwasStaff-CaptainPotsieluevandLieutenantKuvshinnikov！”
　　“Yes，“thoughChichikovtohimself，“andIwishthattheytoowouldgiveyouapublicthrashing！”
　　“Ifeltsoill！”wentonNozdrev。“AndjustafterIhadfallenasleepsomethingDIDcomeandstingme。Probablyitwasapartyofhagfleas。Now，dressyourself，andIwillbewithyoupresently。FirstofallImustgivethatscoundrelofabailiffawigging。“
　　Chichikovdepartedtohisownroomtowashanddress；whichprocesscompleted，heenteredthedining-roomtofindthetablelaidwithtea-thingsandabottleofrum。Clearlynobroomhadyettouchedtheplace，forthereremainedtracesofthepreviousnight'sdinnerandsupperintheshapeofcrumbsthrownoverthefloorandtobaccoashonthetablecloth。Thehosthimself，whenheentered，wasstillcladinadressing-gownexposingahairychest；andashesatholdinghispipeinhishand，anddrinkingteafromacup，hewouldhavemadeamodelforthesortofpainterwhopreferstoportraygentlemenofthelesscurledandscentedorder。
　　“Whatthinkyou？”heaskedofChichikovafterashortsilence。“AreyouwillingNOWtoplaymeforthosesouls？”
　　“IhavetoldyouthatIneverplaycards。Ifthesoulsareforsale，I
　　willbuythem。“
　　“Ideclinetosellthem。Suchwouldnotbethecourseproperbetweenfriends。Butagameofbankerwouldbequiteanothermatter。Letusdealthecards。“
　　“IhavetoldyouthatIdeclinetoplay。“
　　“Andyouwillnotagreetoanexchange？”
　　“No。“
　　“Thenlookhere。Supposeweplayagameofchess。Ifyouwin，thesoulsshallbeyours。TherearelotwhichIshouldliketoseecrossedofftherevisionlist。Hi，Porphyri！Bringmethechessboard。“
　　“Youarewastingyourtime。Iwillplayneitherchessnorcards。“
　　“Butchessisdifferentfromplayingwithabank。Inchesstherecanbeneitherlucknorcheating，foreverythingdependsuponskill。Infact，IwarnyouthatIcannotpossiblyplaywithyouunlessyouallowmeamoveortwoinadvance。“
　　“Thesamewithme，“thoughtChichikov。“ShallI，orshallInot，playthisfellow？Iusednottobeabadchess-player，anditisasportinwhichhewouldfinditmoredifficulttobeuptohistricks。“
　　“Verywell，“headdedaloud。“IWILLplayyouatchess。“
　　“Andstakethesoulsforahundredroubles？”askedNozdrev。
　　“No。Whyforahundred？Woulditnotbesufficienttostakethemforfifty？”
　　“No。Whatwouldbetheuseoffifty？Nevertheless，forthehundredroublesIwillthrowinamoderatelyoldpuppy，orelseagoldsealandwatch-chain。“
　　“Verywell，“assentedChichikov。
　　“Thenhowmanymovesareyougoingtoallowme？”
　　“IsTHATtobepartofthebargain？Why，none，ofcourse。“
　　“Atleastallowmetwo。“
　　“No，none。Imyselfamonlyapoorplayer。“
　　“_I_knowyouandyourpoorplay，“saidNozdrev，movingachessman。
　　“Infact，itisalongtimesincelastIhadachessmaninmyhand，“
　　repliedChichikov，alsomovingapiece。
　　“Ah！_I_knowyouandyourpoorplay，“repeatedNozdrev，movingasecondchessman。
　　“IsayagainthatitisalongtimesincelastIhadachessmaninmyhand。“AndChichikov，inhisturn，moved。
　　“Ah！_I_knowyouandyourpoorplay，“repeatedNozdrev，forthethirdtimeashemadeathirdmove。Atthesamemomentthecuffofoneofhissleeveshappenedtodislodgeanotherchessmanfromitsposition。
　　“Again，Isay，“saidChichikov，“that'tisalongtimesincelast——Buthi！lookhere！Putthatpiecebackinitsplace！”
　　“Whatpiece？”
　　“Thisone。“AndalmostasChichikovspokehesawathirdchessmancomingintoviewbetweenthequeens。Godonlyknowswhencethatchessmanhadmaterialised。
　　“No，no！”shoutedChichikovasherosefromthetable。“Itisimpossibletoplaywithamanlikeyou。Peopledon'tmovethreepiecesatonce。“
　　“How'threepieces'？AllthatIhavedoneistomakeamistake——tomoveoneofmypiecesbyaccident。Ifyoulike，Iwillforfeitittoyou。“
　　“Andwhencehasthethirdpiececome？”
　　“Whatthirdpiece？”
　　“Theonenowstandingbetweenthequeens？”
　　“'Tisoneofyourownpieces。Surelyyouareforgetting？”
　　“No，no，myfriend。Ihavecountedeverymove，andcanremembereachone。Thatpiecehasonlyjustbecomeaddedtotheboard。Putitbackinitsplace，Isay。“
　　“Itsplace？WhichISitsplace？”ButNozdrevhadreddenedagooddeal。“Iperceiveyoutobeastrategistatthegame。“
　　“No，no，goodfriend。YOUarethestrategist——thoughanunsuccessfulone，asithappens。“
　　“Thenofwhatareyousupposingmecapable？Ofcheatingyou？”
　　“Iamnotsupposingyoucapableofanything。AllthatIsayisthatI
　　willnotplaywithyouanymore。“
　　“Butyoucan'trefuseto，“saidNozdrev，growingheated。“Yousee，thegamehasbegun。“
　　“Nevertheless，Ihavearightnottocontinueit，seeingthatyouarenotplayingasanhonestmanshoulddo。“
　　“Youarelying——youcannottruthfullysaythat。“
　　“'Tisyouwhoarelying。“
　　“ButIhaveNOTcheated。Consequentlyyoucannotrefusetoplay，butmustcontinuethegametoafinish。“
　　“Youcannotforcemetoplay，“retortedChichikovcoldlyas，turningtothechessboard，hesweptthepiecesintoconfusion。
　　NozdrevapproachedChichikovwithamannersothreateningthattheotherfellbackacoupleofpaces。
　　“IWILLforceyoutoplay，“saidNozdrev。“Itisnouseyoumakingamessofthechessboard，forIcanremembereverymove。Wewillreplacethechessmenexactlyastheywere。“
　　“No，no，myfriend。Thegameisover，andIplayyounomore。“
　　“Yousaythatyouwillnot？”
　　“Yes。Surelyyoucanseeforyourselfthatsuchathingisimpossible？”
　　“Thatcockwon'tfight。Sayatoncethatyourefusetoplaywithme。“
　　AndNozdrevapproachedastepnearer。
　　“Verywell；IDOsaythat，“repliedChichikov，andatthesamemomentraisedhishandstowardshisface，forthedisputewasgrowingheated。Norwastheactofcautionaltogetherunwarranted，forNozdrevalsoraisedhisfist，anditmaybethatoneofherhero'splump，pleasant-lookingcheekswouldhavesustainedanindelibleinsulthadnotheChichikovparriedtheblowand，seizingNozdrevbyhiswhirlingarms，heldthemfast。
　　“Porphyri！Pavlushka！”shoutedNozdrevasmadlyhestrovetofreehimself。
　　Onhearingthewords，Chichikov，bothbecausehewishedtoavoidrenderingtheservantswitnessesoftheunedifyingsceneandbecausehefeltthatitwouldbeofnoavailtoholdNozdrevanylonger，letgoofthelatter'sarms；butatthesamemomentPorphyriandPavlushkaenteredtheroom——apairofstoutrascalswithwhomitwouldbeunwisetomeddle。
　　“Doyou，ordoyounot，intendtofinishthegame？”saidNozdrev。
　　“Givemeadirectanswer。“
　　“No；itwillnotbepossibletofinishthegame，“repliedChichikov，glancingoutofthewindow。Hecouldseehisbritchkastandingreadyforhim，andSelifanevidentlyawaitingorderstodrawuptotheentrancesteps。Butfromtheroomtherewasnoescape，sinceinthedoorwaywaspostedthecoupleofwell-builtserving-men。
　　“ThenitisasIsay？Yourefusetofinishthegame？”repeatedNozdrev，hisfaceasredasfire。
　　“Iwouldhavefinishedithadyouplayedlikeamanofhonour。But，asitis，Icannot。“
　　“Youcannot，eh，youvillain？Youfindthatyoucannotassoonasyoufindthatyouarenotwinning？Thrashhim，youfellows！”AndashespokeNozdrevgraspedthecherrywoodshankofhispipe。Chichikovturnedaswhiteasasheet。Hetriedtosaysomething，buthisquiveringlipsemittednosound。“Thrashhim！”againshoutedNozdrevasherushedforwardinastateofheatandperspirationmorepropertoawarriorwhoisattackinganimpregnablefortress。“Thrashhim！”
　　againheshoutedinavoicelikethatofsomehalf-dementedlieutenantwhosedesperatebraveryhasacquiredsuchareputationthatordershavehadtobeissuedthathishandsshallbeheldlestheattemptdeedsofover-presumptuousdaring。Seizedwiththemilitaryspirit，however，thelieutenant'sheadbeginstowhirl，andbeforehiseyethereflitstheimageofSuvorov[4]。Headvancestothegreatencounter，andimpulsivelycries，“Forward，mysons！”——criesitwithoutreflectingthathemaybespoilingtheplanofthegeneralattack，thatmillionsofriflesmaybeprotrudingtheirmuzzlesthroughtheembrasuresoftheimpregnable，toweringwallsofthefortress，thathisownimpotentassaultmaybedestinedtobedissipatedlikedustbeforethewind，andthatalreadytheremayhavebeenlaunchedonitswhistlingcareerthebulletwhichistocloseforeverhisvociferousthroat。However，ifNozdrevresembledtheheadstrong，desperatelieutenantwhomwehavejustpicturedasadvancinguponafortress，atleastthefortressitselfinnowayresembledtheimpregnablestrongholdwhichIhavedescribed。Asamatteroffact，thefortressbecameseizedwithapanicwhichdroveitsspiritintoitsboots。Firstofall，thechairwithwhichChichikovthefortressinquestionsoughttodefendhimselfwaswrestedfromhisgraspbytheserfs，andthen——blinkingandneitheralivenordead——heturnedtoparrytheCircassianpipe-stemofhishost。Infact，GodonlyknowswhatwouldhavehappenedhadnotthefatesbeenpleasedbyamiracletodeliverChichikov'selegantbackandshouldersfromtheonslaught。Suddenly，andasunexpectedlyasthoughthesoundhadcomefromtheclouds，theremadeitselfheardthetinklingnotesofacollar-bell，andthentherumbleofwheelsapproachingtheentrancesteps，and，lastly，thesnortingandhardbreathingofateamofhorsesasavehiclecametoastandstill。
　　Involuntarilyallpresentglancedthroughthewindow，andsawamancladinasemi-militarygreatcoatleapfromabuggy。Aftermakinganinquiryortwointhehall，heenteredthedining-roomjustatthejuncturewhenChichikov，almostswooningwithterror，hadfoundhimselfplacedinaboutasawkwardasituationascouldwellbefallamortalman。
　　[4]ThegreatRussiangeneralwho，afterwinningfameintheSevenYears'War，metwithdisasterwhenattemptingtoassisttheAustriansagainsttheFrenchin1799。
　　“KindlytellmewhichofyouisMonsieurNozdrev？”saidtheunknownwithaglanceofperplexitybothatthepersonnamedwhowasstillstandingwithpipe-shankupraisedandatChichikovwhowasjustbeginningtorecoverfromhisunpleasantpredicament。
　　“KindlytellMEwhomIhavethehonourofaddressing？”retortedNozdrevasheapproachedtheofficial。
　　“IamtheSuperintendentofRuralPolice。“
　　“Andwhatdoyouwant？”
　　“Ihavecometofulfilacommissionimposeduponme。Thatistosay，Ihavecometoplaceyouunderarrestuntilyourcaseshallhavebeendecided。“
　　“Rubbish！Whatcase，pray？”
　　“Thecaseinwhichyouinvolvedyourselfwhen，inadrunkencondition，andthroughtheinstrumentalityofawalking-stick，youofferedgraveoffencetothepersonofLandownerMaksimov。“
　　“Youlie！ToyourfaceItellyouthatneverinmylifehaveIseteyesuponLandownerMaksimov。“
　　“Goodsir，allowmetorepresenttoyouthatIamaGovernmentofficer。
　　Speecheslikethatyoumayaddresstoyourservants，butnottome。“
　　AtthispointChichikov，withoutwaitingforNozdrev'sreply，seizedhiscap，slippedbehindtheSuperintendent'sback，rushedoutontotheverandah，sprangintohisbritchka，andorderedSelifantodrivelikethewind。
　　CHAPTERV
　　CertainlyChichikovwasathoroughcoward，for，althoughthebritchkapursueditsheadlongcourseuntilNozdrev'sestablishmenthaddisappearedbehindhillocksandhedgerows，ourherocontinuedtoglancenervouslybehindhim，asthougheverymomentexpectingtoseeasternchasebegin。Hisbreathcamewithdifficulty，andwhenhetriedhisheartwithhishandshecouldfeelitflutteringlikeaquailcaughtinanet。
　　“Whatasweatthefellowhasthrownmeinto！”hethoughttohimself，whilemanyadireandforcefulaspirationpassedthroughhismind。
　　Indeed，theexpressionstowhichhegaveventweremostinelegantintheirnature。Butwhatwastobedonenext？HewasaRussianandthoroughlyaroused。Theaffairhadbeennojoke。“ButfortheSuperintendent，“hereflected，“ImightneveragainhavelookeduponGod'sdaylight——Imighthavevanishedlikeabubbleonapool，andleftneithertracenorposteritynorpropertynoranhonourablenameformyfutureoffspringtoinherit！”itseemedthatourherowasparticularlyanxiouswithregardtohispossibleissue。
　　“Whatascurvybarin！”musedSelifanashedrovealong。“NeverhaveI
　　seensuchabarin。Ishouldliketospitinhisface。'Tisbettertoallowamannothingtoeatthantorefusetofeedahorseproperly。A
　　horseneedshisoats——theyarehisproperfare。Evenifyoumakeamanprocureamealathisownexpense，don'tdenyahorsehisoats，forheoughtalwaystohavethem。“
　　AnequallypooropinionofNozdrevseemedtobecherishedalsobythesteeds，fornotonlywerethebayandtheAssessorclearlyoutofspirits，buteventheskewbaldwaswearingadejectedair。True，athometheskewbaldgotnonebutthepoorersortsofoatstoeat，andSelifanneverfilledhistroughwithouthavingfirstcalledhimavillain；butatleasttheyWEREoats，andnothay——theywerestuffwhichcouldbechewedwithacertainamountofrelish。Also，therewasthefactthatatintervalshecouldintrudehislongnoseintohiscompanions'troughsespeciallywhenSelifanhappenedtobeabsentfromthestableandascertainwhatTHEIRprovenderwaslike。ButatNozdrev'stherehadbeennothingbuthay！Thatwasnotright。Allthreehorsesfeltgreatlydiscontented。
　　Butpresentlythemalcontentshadtheirreflectionscutshortinaveryrudeandunexpectedmanner。Thatistosay，theywerebroughtbacktopracticalitiesbycomingintoviolentcollisionwithasix-horsedvehicle，whileupontheirheadsdescendedbothababelofcriesfromtheladiesinsideandastormofcursesandabusefromthecoachman。“Ah，youdamnedfool！”hevociferated。“Ishoutedtoyouloudenough！Drawout，youoldraven，andkeeptotheright！Areyoudrunk？”Selifanhimselffeltconsciousthathehadbeencareless，butsinceaRussiandoesnotcaretoadmitafaultinthepresenceofstrangers，heretortedwithdignity：“WhyhaveyourunintoUS？Didyouleaveyoureyesbehindyouatthelasttavernthatyoustoppedat？”Withthathestartedtobackthebritchka，inthehopethatitmightgetclearoftheother'sharness；butthiswouldnotdo，forthepairweretoohopelesslyintertwined。Meanwhiletheskewbaldsnuffedcuriouslyathisnewacquaintancesastheystoodplantedoneithersideofhim；whiletheladiesinthevehicleregardedthescenewithanexpressionofterror。Oneofthemwasanoldwoman，andtheotheradamselofaboutsixteen。Amassofgoldenhairfelldaintilyfromasmallhead，andtheovalofhercomelyfacewasasshapelyasanegg，andwhitewiththetransparentwhitenessseenwhenthehandsofahousewifeholdanew-laideggtothelighttoletthesun'sraysfilterthroughitsshell。Thesametintmarkedthemaiden'searswheretheyglowedinthesunshine，and，inshort，whatwiththetearsinherwide-open，arrestingeyes，shepresentedsoattractiveapicturethatourherobestoweduponitmorethanapassingglancebeforeheturnedhisattentiontothehubbubwhichwasbeingraisedamongthehorsesandthecoachmen。
　　“Backout，yourookofNizhniNovgorod！”thestrangers'coachmanshouted。Selifantightenedhisreins，andtheotherdriverdidthesame。Thehorsessteppedbackalittle，andthencametogetheragain——thistimegettingalegortwooverthetraces。Infact，sopleaseddidtheskewbaldseemwithhisnewfriendsthatherefusedtostirfromthemeleeintowhichanunforeseenchancehadplungedhim。
　　Layinghismuzzlelovinglyupontheneckofoneofhisrecently-acquiredacquaintances，heseemedtobewhisperingsomethinginthatacquaintance'sear——andwhisperingprettynonsense，too，tojudgefromthewayinwhichthatconfidantkeptshakinghisears。
　　Atlengthpeasantsfromavillagewhichhappenedtobenearthesceneoftheaccidenttackledthemess；andsinceaspectacleofthatkindistotheRussianmuzhikwhatanewspaperoraclub-meetingistotheGerman，thevehiclessoonbecamethecentreofacrowd，andthevillagedenudedevenofitsoldwomenandchildren。Thetracesweredisentangled，andafewslapsonthenoseforcedtheskewbaldtodrawbackalittle；afterwhichtheteamswerestraightenedoutandseparated。Nevertheless，eithersheerobstinacyorvexationatbeingpartedfromtheirnewfriendscausedthestrangeteamabsolutelytorefusetomovealeg。Theirdriverlaidthewhipaboutthem，butstilltheystoodasthoughrootedtothespot。Atlengththeparticipatoryeffortsofthepeasantsrosetoanunprecedenteddegreeofenthusiasm，andtheyshoutedinanintermittentchorustheadvice，“Doyou，Andrusha，taketheheadofthetracehorseontheright，whileUncleMitaimountstheshafthorse。Getup，UncleMitai。“Uponthatthelean，long，andred-beardedUncleMitaimountedtheshafthorse；inwhichpositionhelookedlikeavillagesteepleorthewinderwhichisusedtoraisewaterfromwells。Thecoachmanwhippeduphissteedsafresh，butnothingcameofit，andUncleMitaihadproveduseless。
　　“Holdon，holdon！”shoutedthepeasantsagain。“Doyou，UncleMitai，mountthetracehorse，whileUncleMinaimountstheshafthorse。“
　　WhereuponUncleMinai——apeasantwithapairofbroadshoulders，abeardasblackascharcoal，andabellylikethehugesamovarinwhichsbitenisbrewedforallattendingalocalmarket——hastenedtoseathimselfupontheshafthorse，whichalmostsanktothegroundbeneathhisweight。“NOWtheywillgoallright！”themuzhiksexclaimed。
　　“Layitonhot，layitonhot！Givethatsorrelhorsethewhip，andmakehimsquirmlikeakoramora[1]。“Nevertheless，theaffairinnowayprogressed；wherefore，seeingthatfloggingwasofnouse，UnclesMitaiandMinaiBOTHmountedthesorrel，whileAndrushaseatedhimselfuponthetracehorse。Thenthecoachmanhimselflostpatience，andsentthetwoUnclesabouttheirbusiness——andnotbeforeitwastime，seeingthatthehorsesweresteaminginawaythatmadeitclearthat，unlesstheywerefirstwinded，theywouldneverreachthenextposthouse。Sotheyweregivenamoment'srest。Thatdone，theymovedoffoftheirownaccord！
　　[1]Akindoflargegnat。
　　Throughout，Chichikovhadbeengazingattheyoungunknownwithgreatattention，andhadevenmadeoneortwoattemptstoenterintoconversationwithher：butwithoutsuccess。Indeed，whentheladiesdeparted，itwasasinadreamthathesawthegirl'scomelypresence，thedelicatefeaturesofherface，andtheslenderoutlineofherformvanishfromhissight；itwasasinadreamthatoncemorehesawonlytheroad，thebritchka，thethreehorses，Selifan，andthebare，emptyfields。Everywhereinlife——yes，evenintheplainest，thedingiestranksofsociety，asmuchasinthosewhichareuniformlybrightandpresentable——amanmayhappenuponsomephenomenonwhichissoentirelydifferentfromthosewhichhavehithertofallentohislot。
　　Everywherethroughthewebofsorrowofwhichourlivesarewoventheremaysuddenlybreakaclear，radiantthreadofjoy；evenassuddenlyalongthestreetofsomepoor，poverty-strickenvillagewhich，ordinarily，seesnoughtbutafarmwaggontheremaycamebowlingagorgeouscoachwithplatedharness，picturesquehorses，andaglitterofglass，sothatthepeasantsstandgaping，anddonotresumetheircapsuntillongafterthestrangeequipagehasbecomelosttosight。Thusthegolden-hairedmaidenmakesasudden，unexpectedappearanceinourstory，andassuddenly，asunexpectedly，disappears。Indeed，haditnotbeenthatthepersonconcernedwasChichikov，andnotsomeyouthoftwentysummers——ahussarorastudentor，ingeneral，amanstandingonthethresholdoflife——whatthoughtswouldnothavesprungtobirth，andstirredandspoken，withinhim；
　　forwhatalengthoftimewouldhenothavestoodentrancedashestaredintothedistanceandforgotalikehisjourney，thebusinessstilltobedone，thepossibilityofincurringlossthroughlingering——himself，hisvocation，theworld，andeverythingelsethattheworldcontains！
　　Butinthepresentcasetheherowasamanofmiddle-age，andofcautiousandfrigidtemperament。True，heponderedovertheincident，butinmoredeliberatefashionthanayoungermanwouldhavedone。
　　Thatistosay，hisreflectionswerenotsoirresponsibleandunsteady。“Shewasacomelydamsel，“hesaidtohimselfasheopenedhissnuff-boxandtookapinch。“Buttheimportantpointis：IsshealsoaNICEDAMSEL？Onethingshehasinherfavour——andthatisthatsheappearsonlyjusttohaveleftschool，andnottohavehadtimetobecomewomanlyintheworsersense。Atpresent，therefore，sheislikeachild。Everythinginherissimple，andshesaysjustwhatshethinks，andlaughsmerelywhenshefeelsinclined。Suchadamselmightbemadeintoanything——orshemightbeturnedintoworthlessrubbish。Thelatter，Isurmise，fortrudgingafterhershewillhaveafondmotherandabevyofaunts，andsoforth——personswho，withinayear，willhavefilledherwithwomanishnesstothepointwhereherownfatherwouldn'tknowher。Andtothattherewillbeaddedprideandaffectation，andshewillbegintoobserveestablishedrules，andtorackherbrainsastohow，andhowmuch，sheoughttotalk，andtowhom，andwhere，andsoforth。Everymomentwillseehergrowingtimorousandconfusedlestshebesayingtoomuch。Finally，shewilldevelopintoaconfirmedprevaricator，andendbymarryingthedevilknowswhom！”Chichikovpausedawhile。Thenhewenton：“YetIshouldliketoknowwhosheis，andwhoherfatheris，andwhetherheisarichlandownerofgoodstanding，ormerelyarespectablemanwhohasacquiredafortuneintheserviceoftheGovernment。Shouldheallowher，onmarriage，adowryof，say，twohundredthousandroubles，shewillbeaverynicecatchindeed。Shemighteven，sotospeak，makeamanofgoodbreedinghappy。“
　　Indeed，soattractivelydidtheideaofthetwohundredthousandroublesbegintodancebeforehisimaginationthathefeltatwingeofself-reproachbecause，duringthehubbub，hehadnotinquiredofthepostillionorthecoachmanwhothetravellersmightbe。ButsoonthesightofSobakevitch'scountryhousedissipatedhisthoughts，andforcedhimtoreturntohisstocksubjectofreflection。
　　Sobakevitch'scountryhouseandestatewereofveryfairsize，andoneachsideofthemansionwereexpansesofbirchandpineforestintwoshadesofgreen。Thewoodenedificeitselfhaddark-greywallsandared-gabledroof，foritwasamansionofthekindwhichRussiabuildsforhermilitarysettlersandforGermancolonists。Anoticeablecircumstancewasthefactthatthetasteofthearchitecthaddifferedfromthatoftheproprietor——theformerhavingmanifestlybeenapedantanddesirousofsymmetry，andthelatterhavingwishedonlyforcomfort。Consequentlyhetheproprietorhaddispensedwithallwindowsononesideofthemansion，andhadcausedtobeinserted，intheirplace，onlyasmallaperturewhich，doubtless，wasintendedtolightanotherwisedarklumber-room。Likewise，thearchitect'sbesteffortshadfailedtocausethepedimenttostandinthecentreofthebuilding，sincetheproprietorhadhadoneofitsfouroriginalcolumnsremoved。Evidentlydurabilityhadbeenconsideredthroughout，forthecourtyardwasenclosedbyastrongandveryhighwoodenfence，andboththestables，thecoach-house，andtheculinarypremiseswerepartiallyconstructedofbeamswarrantedtolastforcenturies。Nay，eventhewoodenhutsofthepeasantrywerewonderfulinthesolidityoftheirconstruction，andnotaclaywalloracarvedpatternorotherdevicewastobeseen。Everythingfittedexactlyintoitsrightplace，andeventhedraw-wellofthemansionwasfashionedoftheoakwoodusuallythoughtsuitableonlyformillsorships。Inshort，whereverChichikov'seyeturnedhesawnothingthatwasnotfreefromshoddymakeandwellandskilfullyarranged。Asheapproachedtheentrancestepshecaughtsightoftwofacespeeringfromawindow。Oneofthemwasthatofawomaninamobcapwithfeaturesaslongandasnarrowasacucumber，andtheotherthatofamanwithfeaturesasbroadandasshortastheMoldavianpumpkinsknownasgorlianki
　　whereofbalallaiki——thespeciesoflight，two-stringedinstrumentwhichconstitutestheprideandthejoyofthegayyoungfellowoftwentyashesitswinkingandsmilingatthewhite-necked，white-bosomedmaidenswhohavegatheredtolistentohislow-pitchedtinkling——arefashioned。Thisscrutinymade，bothfaceswithdrew，andtherecameoutontotheentrancestepsalacqueycladinagreyjacketandastiffbluecollar。ThisfunctionaryconductedChichikovintothehall，wherehewasmetbythemasterofthehousehimself，whorequestedhisguesttoenter，andthenledhimintotheinnerpartofthemansion。
　　AcovertglanceatSobakevitchshowedourherothathishostexactlyresembledamoderate-sizedbear。Tocompletetheresemblance，Sobakevitch'slongfrockcoatandbaggytrouserswereoftheprecisecolourofabear'shide，while，whenshufflingacrossthefloor，hemadeacriss-crossmotionofthelegs，andhad，inaddition，aconstanthabitoftreadinguponhiscompanion'stoes。Asforhisface，itwasofthewarm，ardenttintofapiatok[2]。Personsofthiskind——personstowhosedesigningnaturehasdevotednotmuchthought，andinthefashioningofwhoseframesshehasusednoinstrumentssodelicateasafileoragimletandsoforth——arenotuncommon。Suchpersonsshemerelyroughhews。Onecutwithahatchet，andthereresultsanose；anothersuchcutwithahatchet，andtherematerialisesapairoflips；twothrustswithadrill，andthereissuesapairofeyes。Lastly，scorningtoplanedowntheroughness，shesendsoutthatpersonintotheworld，saying：“Thereisanotherlivecreature。“Sobakevitchwasjustsucharagged，curiouslyputtogetherfigure——thoughtheabovemodelwouldseemtohavebeenfollowedmoreinhisupperportionthaninhislower。Oneresultwasthatheseldomturnedhisheadtolookatthepersonwithwhomhewasspeaking，but，rather，directedhiseyestowards，say，thestovecornerorthedoorway。Ashostandguestcrossedthedining-roomChichikovdirectedasecondglanceathiscompanion。“Heisabear，andnothingbutabear，“hethoughttohimself。And，indeed，thestrangecomparisonwasinevitable。Incidentally，Sobakevitch'sChristiannameandpatronymicwereMichaelSemenovitch。Ofhishabitoftreadinguponotherpeople'stoesChichikovhadbecomefullyaware；
　　whereforehesteppedcautiously，and，throughout，allowedhishosttotakethelead。Asamatteroffact，Sobakevitchhimselfseemedconsciousofhisfailing，foratintervalshewouldinquire：“IhopeI
　　havenothurtyou？”andChichikov，withawordofthanks，wouldreplythatasyethehadsustainednoinjury。
　　[2]Acoppercoinworthfivekopecks。
　　Atlengththeyreachedthedrawing-room，whereSobakevitchpointedtoanarmchair，andinvitedhisguesttobeseated。Chichikovgazedwithinterestatthewallsandthepictures。IneverysuchpicturetherewereportrayedeitheryoungmenorGreekgeneralsofthetypeofMovrogordatocladinareduniformandbreaches，Kanaris，andothers；andalltheseheroesweredepictedwithasolidityofthighandawealthofmoustachewhichmadethebeholdersimplyshudderwithawe。Amongthemtherewereplacedalso，accordingtosomeunknownsystem，andforsomeunknownreason，firstly，Bagration[3]——tallandthin，andwithaclusterofsmallflagsandcannonbeneathhim，andthewholesetinthenarrowestofframes——and，secondly，theGreekheroine，Bobelina，whoselegslookedlargerthandothewholebodiesofthedrawing-roomdandiesofthepresentday。Apparentlythemasterofthehousewashimselfamanofhealthandstrength，andthereforelikedtohavehisapartmentsadornedwithnonebutfolkofequalvigourandrobustness。Lastly，inthewindow，andsuspectedcheekbyjowlwithBobelina，therehungacagewhenceatintervalstherepeeredforthawhite-spottedblackbird。Likeeverythingelseintheapartment，itboreastrongresemblancetoSobakevitch。Whenhostandguesthadbeenconversingfortwominutesorsothedooropened，andthereenteredthehostess——atallladyinacapadornedwithribandsofdomesticcolouringandmanufacture。Sheentereddeliberately，andheldherheadaserectasapalm。
　　[3]ARussiangeneralwhofoughtagainstNapoleon，andwasmortallywoundedatBorodino。
　　“Thisismywife，TheoduliaIvanovna，“saidSobakevitch。
　　Chichikovapproachedandtookherhand。Thefactthatsheraiseditnearlytothelevelofhislipsapprisedhimofthecircumstancethatithadjustbeenrinsedincucumberoil。
　　“Mydear，allowmetointroducePaulIvanovitchChichikov，“addedSobakevitch。“HehasthehonourofbeingacquaintedbothwithourGovernorandwithourPostmaster。“
　　UponthisTheoduliaIvanovnarequestedherguesttobeseated，andaccompaniedtheinvitationwiththekindofbowusuallyemployedonlybyactresseswhoareplayingtheroleofqueens。Next，shetookaseatuponthesofa，drewaroundherhermerinogown，andsatthereafterwithoutmovinganeyelidoraneyebrow。AsforChichikov，heglancedupwards，andoncemorecaughtsightofKanariswithhisfatthighsandinterminablemoustache，andofBobelinaandtheblackbird。Forfullyfiveminutesallpresentpreservedacompletesilence——theonlysoundaudiblebeingthatoftheblackbird'sbeakagainstthewoodenfloorofthecageasthecreaturefishedforgrainsofcorn。MeanwhileChichikovagainsurveyedtheroom，andsawthateverythinginitwasmassiveandclumsyinthehighestdegree；asalsothateverythingwascuriouslyinkeepingwiththemasterofthehouse。Forexample，inonecorneroftheapartmenttherestoodahazelwoodbureauwithabulgingbodyonfourgrotesquelegs——theperfectimageofabear。Also，thetablesandthechairswereofthesameponderous，unrestfulorder，andeverysinglearticleintheroomappearedtobesayingeither，“I，too，amaSobakevitch，“or“IamexactlylikeSobakevitch。“
　　“IheardspeakofyouonedaywhenIwasvisitingthePresidentoftheCouncil，“saidChichikov，onperceivingthatnooneelsehadamindtobeginaconversation。“ThatwasonThursdaylast。Wehadaverypleasantevening。“
　　“Yes，onthatoccasionIwasnotthere，“repliedSobakevitch。
　　“Whatanicemanheis！”
　　“Whois？”inquiredSobakevitch，gazingintothecornerbythestove。
　　“ThePresidentoftheLocalCouncil。“
　　“Didheseemsotoyou？True，heisamason，butheisalsothegreatestfoolthattheworldeversaw。“
　　Chichikovstartedalittleatthismordantcriticism，butsoonpulledhimselftogetheragain，andcontinued：
　　“Ofcourse，everymanhashisweakness。YetthePresidentseemstobeanexcellentfellow。“
　　“AnddoyouthinkthesameoftheGovernor？”
　　“Yes。Whynot？”
　　“Becausethereexistsnogreaterroguethanhe。“
　　“What？TheGovernorarogue？”ejaculatedChichikov，atalosstounderstandhowtheofficialinquestioncouldcometobenumberedwiththieves。“LetmesaythatIshouldneverhaveguessedit。Permitmealsotoremarkthathisconductwouldhardlyseemtobearoutyouropinion——heseemssogentleaman。“AndinproofofthisChichikovcitedthepurseswhichtheGovernorknitted，andalsoexpatiatedonthemildnessofhisfeatures。
　　“Hehasthefaceofarobber，“saidSobakevitch。“Wereyoutogivehimaknife，andtoturnhimlooseonaturnpike，hewouldcutyourthroatfortwokopecks。AndthesamewiththeVice-Governor。ThepairarejustGogandMagog。“
　　“Evidentlyheisnotongoodtermswiththem，“thoughtChichikovtohimself。“IhadbetterpasstotheChiefofPolice，whichwhomheDOESseemtobefriendly。“Accordinglyheaddedaloud：“Formyownpart，IshouldgivethepreferencetotheHeadoftheGendarmery。Whatafrank，outspokennaturehehas！Andwhatanelementofsimplicitydoeshisexpressioncontain！”
　　“Heismeantothecore，“remarkedSobakevitchcoldly。“Hewillsellyouandcheatyou，andthendineatyourtable。Yes，Iknowthemall，andeveryoneofthemisaswindler，andthetownanestofrascalsengagedinrobbingoneanother。NotamanofthelotistherebutwouldsellChrist。Yetstay：ONEdecentfellowthereis——thePublicProsecutor；thoughevenHE，ifthetruthbetold，islittlebetterthanapig。“
　　AftertheseeulogiaChichikovsawthatitwouldbeuselesstocontinuerunningthroughthelistofofficials——moreespeciallysincesuddenlyhehadrememberedthatSobakevitchwasnotatanytimegiventocommendinghisfellowman。
　　“Letusgotoluncheon，mydear，“putinTheoduliaIvanovnatoherspouse。
　　“Yes；praycometotable，“saidSobakevitchtohisguest；whereupontheyconsumedthecustomaryglassofvodkaaccompaniedbysundrysnacksofsaltedcucumberandotherdaintieswithwhichRussians，bothintownandcountry，prefaceameal。Thentheyfiledintothedining-roominthewakeofthehostess，whosailedonaheadlikeagooseswimmingacrossapond。Thesmalldining-tablewasfoundtobelaidforfourpersons——thefourthplacebeingoccupiedbyaladyorayounggirlitwouldhavebeendifficulttosaywhichexactlywhomighthavebeeneitherarelative，thehousekeeper，oracasualvisitor。Certainpersonsintheworldexist，notaspersonalitiesinthemselves，butasspotsorspecksonthepersonalitiesofothers。
　　Alwaystheyaretobeseensittinginthesameplace，andholdingtheirheadsatexactlythesameangle，sothatonecomeswithinanaceofmistakingthemforfurniture，andthinkstooneselfthatneversincethedayoftheirbirthcantheyhavespokenasingleword。
　　“Mydear，“saidSobakevitch，“thecabbagesoupisexcellent。“Withthathefinishedhisportion，andhelpedhimselftoagenerousmeasureofniania[4]——thedishwhichfollowsshtchiandconsistsofasheep'sstomachstuffedwithblackporridge，brains，andotherthings。“Whatnianiathisis！”headdedtoChichikov。“Neverwouldyougetsuchstuffinatown，whereoneisgiventhedevilknowswhat。“
　　[4]Literally，“nursemaid。“
　　“NeverthelesstheGovernorkeepsafairtable，“saidChichikov。
　　“Yes，butdoyouknowwhatallthestuffisMADEOF？”retortedSobakevitch。“IfyouDIDknowyouwouldnevertouchit。“
　　“OfcourseIamnotinapositiontosayhowitisprepared，butatleasttheporkcutletsandtheboiledfishseemedexcellent。“
　　“Ah，itmighthavebeenthoughtso；yetIknowthewayinwhichsuchthingsareboughtinthemarket-place。TheyareboughtbysomerascalofacookwhomaFrenchmanhastaughthowtoskinatomcatandthenserveitupashare。“
　　“Ugh！Whathorriblethingsyousay！”putinMadame。
　　“Well，mydear，thatishowthingsaredone，anditisnofaultofminethatitisso。Moreover，everythingthatisleftover——everythingthatWEpardonmeformentioningitcastintotheslop-pail——isusedbysuchfolkformakingsoup。“
　　“Alwaysattableyoubegintalkinglikethis！”objectedhishelpmeet。
　　“Andwhynot？”saidSobakevitch。“ItellyoustraightthatIwouldnoteatsuchnastiness，evenhadImadeitmyself。Sugarafrogasmuchasyoulike，butnevershallitpassMYlips。NorwouldIswallowanoyster，forIknowonlytoowellwhatanoystermayresemble。Buthavesomemutton，friendChichikov。Itisshoulderofmutton，andverydifferentstufffromthemuttonwhichtheycookinnoblekitchens——muttonwhichhasbeenkickingaboutthemarket-placefourdaysormore。AllthatsortofcookeryhasbeeninventedbyFrenchandGermandoctors，andIshouldliketohangthemforhavingdoneso。
　　TheygoandprescribedietsandahungercureasthoughwhatsuitstheirflaccidGermansystemswillagreewithaRussianstomach！Suchdevicesarenogoodatall。“Sobakevitchshookhisheadwrathfully。
　　“Fellowslikethoseareforevertalkingofcivilisation。AsifTHAT
　　sortofthingwascivilisation！Phew！”Perhapsthespeaker'sconcludingexclamationwouldhavebeenevenstrongerhadhenotbeenseatedattable。“Formyself，Iwillhavenoneofit。WhenIeatporkatameal，givemetheWHOLEpig；whenmutton，theWHOLEsheep；
　　whengoose，theWHOLEofthebird。Twodishesarebetterthanathousand，providedthatonecaneatofthemasmuchasonewants。“
　　Andheproceededtoputpreceptintopracticebytakinghalftheshoulderofmuttonontohisplate，andthendevouringitdowntothelastmorselofgristleandbone。
　　“Myword！”reflectedChichikov。“Thefellowhasaprettygoodholdingcapacity！”
　　“Noneofitforme，“repeatedSobakevitchashewipedhishandsonhisnapkin。“Idon'tintendtobelikeafellownamedPlushkin，whoownseighthundredsouls，yetdinesworsethandoesmyshepherd。“
　　“WhoisPlushkin？”askedChichikov。
　　“Amiser，“repliedSobakevitch。“Suchamiserasneveryoucouldimagine。Evenconvictsinprisonlivebetterthanhedoes。Andhestarveshisservantsaswell。“
　　“Really？”ejaculatedChichikov，greatlyinterested。“Shouldyou，then，saythathehaslostmanypeasantsbydeath？”
　　“Certainly。Theykeepdyinglikeflies。“
　　“Thenhowfarfromheredoeshereside？”
　　“Aboutfiveversts。“
　　“Onlyfiveversts？”exclaimedChichikov，feelinghisheartbeatingjoyously。“Oughtone，whenleavingyourgates，toturntotherightortotheleft？”
　　“Ishouldbesorrytotellyouthewaytothehouseofsuchacur，“
　　saidSobakevitch。“AmanhadfarbettergotohellthantoPlushkin's。“
　　“Quiteso，“respondedChichikov。“Myonlyreasonforaskingyouisthatitinterestsmetobecomeacquaintedwithanyandeverysortoflocality。“
　　Totheshoulderofmuttontheresucceeded，inturn，cutletseachonelargerthanaplate，aturkeyofaboutthesizeofacalf，eggs，rice，pastry，andeveryconceivablethingwhichcouldpossiblybeputintoastomach。Therethemealended。WhenherosefromtableChichikovfeltasthoughapood'sweightwereinsidehim。Inthedrawing-roomthecompanyfounddessertawaitingthemintheshapeofpears，plums，andapples；butsinceneitherhostnorguestcouldtackletheseparticulardaintiesthehostessremovedthemtoanotherroom。Takingadvantageofherabsence，ChichikovturnedtoSobakevitchwho，proneinanarmchair，seemed，afterhisponderousmeal，tobecapableofdoinglittlebeyondbelchingandgrunting——eachsuchgruntorbelchnecessitatingasubsequentsigningofthecrossoverthemouth，andintimatedtohimadesiretohavealittleprivateconversationconcerningacertainmatter。Atthismomentthehostessreturned。
　　“Hereismoredessert，“shesaid。“Prayhaveafewradishesstewedinhoney。“
　　“Later，later，“repliedSobakevitch。“Doyougotoyourroom，andPaulIvanovitchandIwilltakeoffourcoatsandhaveanap。“
　　Uponthisthegoodladyexpressedherreadinesstosendforfeatherbedsandcushions，butherhusbandexpressedapreferenceforslumberinginanarmchair，andshethereforedeparted。WhenshehadgoneSobakevitchinclinedhisheadinanattitudeofwillingnesstolistentoChichikov'sbusiness。Ourherobeganinasortofdetachedmanner——touchinglightlyuponthesubjectoftheRussianEmpire，andexpatiatingupontheimmensityofthesame，andsayingthateventheEmpireofAncientRomehadbeenofconsiderablysmallerdimensions。
　　MeanwhileSobakevitchsatwithhisheaddrooping。
　　FromthatChichikovwentontoremarkthat，accordingtothestatutesofthesaidRussianEmpirewhichyieldedtononeinglory——somuchsothatforeignersmarvelledatit，peasantsonthecensuslistswhohadendedtheirearthlycareerswerenevertheless，ontherenderingofnewlists，returnedequallywiththeliving，totheendthatthecourtsmightberelievedofamultitudeoftrifling，uselessemendationswhichmightcomplicatethealreadysufficientlycomplexmechanismoftheState。Nevertheless，saidChichikov，thegeneralequityofthismeasuredidnotobviateacertainamountofannoyancetolandowners，sinceitforcedthemtopayuponanon-livingarticlethetaxdueuponaliving。HenceourheroconcludedheChichikovwasprepared，owingtothepersonalrespectwhichhefeltforSobakevitch，torelievehim，inpart，oftheirksomeobligationreferredtoinpassing，itmaybesaidthatChichikovreferredtohisprincipalpointonlyguardedly，forhecalledthesoulswhichhewasseekingnot“dead，“but“non-existent“。
　　MeanwhileSobakevitchlistenedwithbenthead；thoughsomethinglikeatraceofexpressiondawnedinhisfaceashedidso。Ordinarilyhisbodylackedasoul——or，ifhedidpossesasoul，heseemedtokeepitelsewherethanwhereitoughttohavebeen；sothat，buriedbeneathmountainsasitwereorenclosedwithinamassiveshell，itsmovementsproducednosortofagitationonthesurface。
　　“Well？”saidChichikov——thoughnotwithoutacertaintremorofdiffidenceastothepossibleresponse。
　　“Youareafterdeadsouls？”wereSobakevitch'sperfectlysimplewords。
　　Hespokewithouttheleastsurpriseinhistone，andmuchasthoughtheconversationhadbeenturningongrain。
　　“Yes，“repliedChichikov，andthen，asbefore，softeneddowntheexpression“deadsouls。“
　　“Theyaretobefound，“saidSobakevitch。“Whyshouldtheynotbe？”
　　“Thenofcourseyouwillbegladtogetridofanythatyoumaychancetohave？”
　　“Yes，IshallhavenoobjectiontoSELLINGthem。“Atthispointthespeakerraisedhisheadalittle，forithadstruckhimthatsurelythewould-bebuyermusthavesomeadvantageinview。
　　“Thedevil！”thoughtChichikovtohimself。“HereishesellingthegoodsbeforeIhaveevenhadtimetoutteraword！”
　　“Andwhatabouttheprice？”headdedaloud。“Ofcourse，thearticlesarenotofakindveryeasytoappraise。“
　　“Ishouldbesorrytoasktoomuch，“saidSobakevitch。“Howwouldahundredroublesperheadsuityou？”
　　“What，ahundredroublesperhead？”Chichikovstaredopen-mouthedathishost——doubtingwhetherhehadheardaright，orwhetherhishost'sslow-movingtonguemightnothaveinadvertentlysubstitutedonewordforanother。
　　“Yes。Isthattoomuchforyou？”saidSobakevitch。Thenheadded：
　　“Whatisyourownprice？”
　　“Myownprice？Ithinkthatwecannotproperlyhaveunderstoodoneanother——thatyoumusthaveforgottenofwhatthegoodsconsist。WithmyhandonmyheartdoIsubmitthateightgrivnipersoulwouldbeahandsome，aVERYhandsome，offer。“
　　“What？Eightgrivni？”
　　“Inmyopinion，ahigherofferwouldbeimpossible。“
　　“ButIamnotasellerofboots。“
　　“No；yetyou，foryourpart，willagreethatthesesoulsarenotlivehumanbeings？”
　　“Isupposeyouhopetofindfoolsreadytosellyousoulsonthecensuslistforacoupleofgroatsapiece？”
　　“Pardonme，butwhydoyouusetheterm'onthecensuslist'？Thesoulsthemselveshavelongsincepassedaway，andhaveleftbehindthemonlytheirnames。Nottotroubleyouwithanyfurtherdiscussionofthesubject，Icanofferyouaroubleandahalfperhead，butnomore。“
　　“Youshouldbeashamedeventomentionsuchasum！Sinceyoudealinarticlesofthiskind，quotemeagenuineprice。“
　　“Icannot，MichaelSemenovitch。Believeme，Icannot。Whatamancannotdo，thathecannotdo。“Thespeakerendedbyadvancinganotherhalf-roubleperhead。
　　“Butwhyhangbackwithyourmoney？”saidSobakevitch。“OfatruthI
　　amnotaskingmuchofyou。Anyotherrascalthanmyselfwouldhavecheatedyoubysellingyouoldrubbishinsteadofgood，genuinesouls，whereasIshouldbereadytogiveyouofmybest，evenwereyoubuyingonlynut-kernels。Forinstance，lookatwheelwrightMichiev。Neverwastheresuchaonetobuildspringcarts！AndhishandiworkwasnotlikeyourMoscowhandiwork——goodonlyforanhour。No，hediditallhimself，evendowntothevarnishing。“
　　Chichikovopenedhismouthtoremarkthat，nevertheless，thesaidMichievhadlongsincedepartedthisworld；butSobakevitch'seloquencehadgottoothoroughlyintoitsstridetoadmitofanyinterruption。
　　“Andlook，too，atProbkaStepan，thecarpenter，“hishostwenton。“I
　　willwagermyheadthatnowhereelsewouldyoufindsuchaworkman。
　　Whatastrongfellowhewas！HehadservedintheGuards，andtheLordonlyknowswhattheyhadgivenforhim，seeingthathewasoverthreearshinsinheight。“
　　AgainChichikovtriedtoremarkthatProbkawasdead，butSobakevitch'stonguewasborneonthetorrentofitsownverbiage，andtheonlythingtobedonewastolisten。
　　“AndMilushkin，thebricklayer！Hecouldbuildastoveinanyhouseyouliked！AndMaksimTeliatnikov，thebootmaker！Anythingthathedrovehisawlintobecameapairofboots——andbootsforwhichyouwouldbethankful，althoughheWASabitfoulofthemouth。AndEremiSorokoplechin，too！Hewasthebestofthelot，andusedtoworkathistradeinMoscow，wherehepaidataxoffivehundredroubles。
　　Well，THERE'Sanassortmentofserfsforyou！——averydifferentassortmentfromwhatPlushkinwouldsellyou！”
　　“Butpermitme，“atlengthputinChichikov，astoundedatthisfloodofeloquencetowhichthereappearedtobenoend。“Permitme，Isay，toinquirewhyyouenumeratethetalentsofthedeceased，seeingthattheyareallofthemdead，andthatthereforetherecanbenosenseindoingso。'Adeadbodyisonlygoodtopropafencewith，'saystheproverb。“
　　“Ofcoursetheyaredead，“repliedSobakevitch，butratherasthoughtheideahadonlyjustoccurredtohim，andwasgivinghimfoodforthought。“Buttellme，now：whatistheuseoflistingthemasstillalive？Andwhatistheuseofthemthemselves？Theyareflies，nothumanbeings。“
　　“Well，“saidChichikov，“theyexist，thoughonlyinidea。“
　　“Butno——NOTonlyinidea。ItellyouthatnowhereelsewouldyoufindsuchafellowforworkingheavytoolsaswasMichiev。Hehadthestrengthofahorseinhisshoulders。“And，withthewords，Sobakevitchturned，asthoughforcorroboration，totheportraitofBagration，asisfrequentlydonebyoneofthepartiesinadisputewhenhepurportstoappealtoanextraneousindividualwhoisnotonlyunknowntohim，butwhollyunconnectedwiththesubjectinhand；withtheresultthattheindividualisleftindoubtwhethertomakeareply，orwhethertobetakehimselfelsewhere。
　　“Nevertheless，ICANNOTgiveyoumorethantworoublesperhead，“
　　saidChichikov。
　　“Well，asIdon'twantyoutoswearthatIhaveaskedtoomuchofyouandwon'tmeetyouhalfway，suppose，forfriendship'ssake，thatyoupaymeseventy-fiveroublesinassignats？”
　　“Goodheavens！”thoughtChichikovtohimself。“Doesthemantakemeforafool？”Thenheaddedaloud：“Thesituationseemstomeastrangeone，foritisasthoughwewereperformingastagecomedy。Nootherexplanationwouldmeetthecase。Yetyouappeartobeamanofsense，andpossessedofsomeeducation。Thematterisaverysimpleone。Thequestionis：whatisadeadsoulworth，andisitofanyusetoanyone？”
　　“ItisofusetoYOU，oryouwouldnotbebuyingsucharticles。“
　　Chichikovbithislip，andstoodatalossforaretort。Hetriedtosayingsomethingabout“familyanddomesticcircumstances，“butSobakevitchcuthimshortwith：
　　“Idon'twanttoknowyourprivateaffairs，forIneverpokemynoseintosuchthings。Youneedthesouls，andIamreadytosellthem。
　　Shouldyounotbuythem，Ithinkyouwillrepentit。“
　　“Tworoublesismyprice，“repeatedChichikov。
　　“Come，come！Asyouhavenamedthatsum，Icanunderstandyournotlikingtogobackuponit；butquotemeabonafidefigure。“
　　“Thedevilflyawaywithhim！”musedChichikov。“However，Iwilladdanotherhalf-rouble。“Andhedidso。
　　“Indeed？”saidSobakevitch。“Well，mylastworduponitis——fiftyroublesinassignats。Thatwillmeanasheerlosstome，fornowhereelseintheworldcouldyoubuybettersoulsthanmine。“
　　“Theoldskinflint！”mutteredChichikov。Thenheaddedaloud，withirritationinhistone：“Seehere。Thisisaseriousmatter。Anyonebutyouwouldbethankfultogetridofthesouls。Onlyafoolwouldsticktothem，andcontinuetopaythetax。“
　　“Yes，butrememberandIsayitwhollyinafriendlywaythattransactionsofthiskindarenotgenerallyallowed，andthatanyonewouldsaythatamanwhoengagesinthemmusthavesomeratherdoubtfuladvantageinview。“
　　“Haveityourownaway，“saidChichikov，withassumedindifference。
　　“Asamatteroffact，Iamnotpurchasingforprofit，asyousuppose，buttohumouracertainwhimofmine。TwoandahalfroublesisthemostthatIcanoffer。“
　　“Blessyourheart！”retortedthehost。“Atleastgivemethirtyroublesinassignats，andtakethelot。“
　　“No，forIseethatyouareunwillingtosell。Imustsaygood-daytoyou。“
　　“Holdon，holdon！”exclaimedSobakevitch，retaininghisguest'shand，andatthesamemomenttreadingheavilyuponhistoes——soheavily，indeed，thatChichikovgaspedanddancedwiththepain。
　　“IBEGyourpardon！”saidSobakevitchhastily。“EvidentlyIhavehurtyou。Praysitdownagain。“
　　“No，“retortedChichikov。“Iammerelywastingmytime，andmustbeoff。“
　　“Oh，sitdownjustforamoment。Ihavesomethingmoreagreeabletosay。“And，drawingclosertohisguest，Sobakevitchwhisperedinhisear，asthoughcommunicatingtohimasecret：“Howabouttwenty-fiveroubles？”
　　“No，no，no！”exclaimedChichikov。“Iwon'tgiveyouevenaQUARTER
　　ofthat。Iwon'tadvanceanotherkopeck。“
　　ForawhileSobakevitchremainedsilent，andChichikovdidthesame。
　　Thislastedforacoupleofminutes，and，meanwhile，theaquiline-nosedBagrationgazedfromthewallasthoughmuchinterestedinthebargaining。
　　“Whatisyouroutsideprice？”atlengthsaidSobakevitch。
　　“Twoandahalfroubles。“
　　“Thenyouseemtorateahumansoulataboutthesamevalueasaboiledturnip。AtleastgivemeTHREEroubles。“
　　“No，Icannot。“
　　“Pardonme，butyouareanimpossiblemantodealwith。However，eventhoughitwillmeanadeadlosstome，andyouhavenotshownaverynicespiritaboutit，Icannotwellrefusetopleaseafriend。I
　　supposeapurchasedeedhadbetterbemadeoutinordertohaveeverythinginorder？”
　　“Ofcourse。“
　　“Thenforthatpurposeletusrepairtothetown。“
　　Theaffairendedintheirdecidingtodothisonthemorrow，andtoarrangeforthesigningofadeedofpurchase。Next，Chichikovrequestedalistofthepeasants；towhichSobakevitchreadilyagreed。
　　Indeed，hewenttohiswriting-deskthenandthere，andstartedtoinditealistwhichgavenotonlythepeasants'names，butalsotheirlatequalifications。
　　MeanwhileChichikov，havingnothingelsetodo，stoodlookingatthespaciousformofhishost；andashegazedathisbackasbroadasthatofacarthorse，andatthelegsasmassiveastheironstandardswhichadornastreet，hecouldnothelpinwardlyejaculating：
　　“TrulyGodhasendowedyouwithmuch！Thoughnotadjustedwithnicety，atleastyouarestronglybuilt。Iwonderwhetheryouwerebornabearorwhetheryouhavecometoitthroughyourrusticlife，withitstillingofcropsanditstradingwithpeasants？Yetno；Ibelievethat，evenifyouhadreceivedafashionableeducation，andhadmixedwithsociety，andhadlivedinSt。Petersburg，youwouldstillhavebeenjustthekulak[5]thatyouare。Theonlydifferenceisthatcircumstances，astheystand，permitofyourpolishingoffastuffedshoulderofmuttonatameal；whereasinSt。Petersburgyouwouldhavebeenunabletodoso。Also，ascircumstancesstand，youhaveunderyouanumberofpeasants，whomyoutreatwellforthereasonthattheyareyourproperty；whereas，otherwise，youwouldhavehadunderyoutchinovniks[6]：whomyouwouldhavebulliedbecausetheywereNOT
　　yourproperty。Also，youwouldhaverobbedtheTreasury，sinceakulakalwaysremainsamoney-grubber。“
　　[5]Villagefactororusurer。
　　[6]Subordinategovernmentofficials。
　　“Thelistisready，“saidSobakevitch，turninground。
　　“Indeed？Thenpleaseletmelookatit。“Chichikovranhiseyeoverthedocument，andcouldnotbutmarvelatitsneatnessandaccuracy。
　　Notonlyweretheresetforthinitthetrade，theage，andthepedigreeofeveryserf，butonthemarginofthesheetwerejottedremarksconcerningeachserf'sconductandsobriety。Trulyitwasapleasuretolookatit。
　　“Anddoyoumindhandingmetheearnestmoney？”saidSobakevitch？
　　“Yes，Ido。Whyneedthatbedone？Youcanreceivethemoneyinalumpsumassoonaswevisitthetown。“
　　“Butitisalwaysthecustom，youknow，“assertedSobakevitch。
　　“ThenIcannotfollowit，forIhavenomoneywithme。However，herearetenroubles。“
　　“Tenroubles，indeed？Youmightaswellhandmefiftywhileyouareaboutit。“
　　OncemoreChichikovstartedtodenythathehadanymoneyuponhim，butSobakevitchinsistedsostronglythatthiswasnotsothatatlengththeguestpulledoutanotherfifteenroubles，andaddedthemtothetenalreadyproduced。
　　“Kindlygivemeareceiptforthemoney，“headded。
　　“Areceipt？WhyshouldIgiveyouareceipt？”
　　“Becauseitisbettertodoso，inordertoguardagainstmistakes。“
　　“Verywell；butfirsthandmeoverthemoney。“
　　“Themoney？Ihaveithere。Doyouwriteoutthereceipt，andthenthemoneyshallbeyours。“
　　“Pardonme，buthowamItowriteoutthereceiptbeforeIhaveseenthecash？”