ThankGod,hersufferingsareover,butIwilltellyoueverythinginorder,sothatyoumayknowjusthoweverythinghashappenedandallthatwehavehithertoconcealedfromyou。WhenyouwrotetometwomonthsagothatyouhadheardthatDouniahadagreatdealtoputupwithintheSvidrigrailovs'house,whenyouwrotethatandaskedmetotellyouallaboutit-whatcouldIwriteinanswertoyou?IfIhadwrittenthewholetruthtoyou,Idaresayyouwouldhavethrownupeverythingandhavecometous,evenifyouhadtowalkalltheway,forIknowyourcharacterandyourfeelings,andyouwouldnotletyoursisterbeinsulted。Iwasindespairmyself,butwhatcouldIdo?
　　And,besides,Ididnotknowthewholetruthmyselfthen。WhatmadeitallsodifficultwasthatDouniareceivedahundredroublesinadvancewhenshetooktheplaceasgovernessintheirfamily,onconditionofpartofhersalarybeingdeductedeverymonth,andsoitwasimpossibletothrowupthesituationwithoutrepayingthedebt。ThissumnowIcanexplainitalltoyou,mypreciousRodyashetookchieflyinordertosendyousixtyroubles,whichyouneededsoterriblythenandwhichyoureceivedfromuslastyear。Wedeceivedyouthen,writingthatthismoneycamefromDounia'ssavings,butthatwasnotso,andnowItellyouallaboutit,because,thankGod,thingshavesuddenlychangedforthebetter,andthatyoumayknowhowDounialovesyouandwhataheartshehas。AtfirstindeedMr。
　　Svidrigailovtreatedherveryrudelyandusedtomakedisrespectfulandjeeringremarksattable……ButIdon'twanttogointoallthosepainfuldetails,soasnottoworryyoufornothingwhenitisnowallover。Inshort,inspiteofthekindandgenerousbehaviourofMarfaPetrovna,Mr。Svidrigailov'swife,andalltherestofthehousehold,Douniahadaveryhardtime,especiallywhenMr。
　　Svidrigailov,relapsingintohisoldregimentalhabits,wasundertheinfluenceofBacchus。Andhowdoyouthinkitwasallexplainedlateron?WouldyoubelievethatthecrazyfellowhadconceivedapassionforDouniafromthebeginning,buthadconcealeditunderashowofrudenessandcontempt。Possiblyhewasashamedandhorrifiedhimselfathisownflightyhopes,consideringhisyearsandhisbeingthefatherofafamily;andthatmadehimangrywithDounia。Andpossibly,too,hehopedbyhisrudeandsneeringbehaviourtohidethetruthfromothers。ButatlasthelostallcontrolandhadthefacetomakeDouniaanopenandshamefulproposal,promisingherallsortsofinducementsandoffering,besides,tothrowupeverythingandtakehertoanotherestateofhis,orevenabroad。Youcanimagineallshewentthrough!Toleavehersituationatoncewasimpossiblenotonlyonaccountofthemoneydebt,butalsotosparethefeelingsofMarfaPetrovna,whosesuspicionswouldhavebeenaroused;andthenDouniawouldhavebeenthecauseofaruptureinthefamily。AnditwouldhavemeantaterriblescandalforDouniatoo;thatwouldhavebeeninevitable。TherewerevariousotherreasonsowingtowhichDouniacouldnothopetoescapefromthatawfulhouseforanothersixweeks。YouknowDounia,ofcourse;youknowhowcleversheisandwhatastrongwillshehas。Douniacanendureagreatdealandeveninthemostdifficultcasesshehasthefortitudetomaintainherfirmness。Shedidnotevenwritetomeabouteverythingforfearofupsettingme,althoughwewereconstantlyincommunication。Itallendedveryunexpectedly。MarfaPetrovnaaccidentallyoverheardherhusbandimploringDouniainthegarden,and,puttingquiteawronginterpretationontheposition,threwtheblameuponher,believinghertobethecauseofitall。Anawfulscenetookplacebetweenthemonthespotinthegarden;MarfaPetrovnawentsofarastostrikeDounia,refusedtohearanythingandwasshoutingatherforawholehourandthengaveordersthatDouniashouldbepackedoffatoncetomeinaplainpeasant'scart,intowhichtheyflungallherthings,herlinenandherclothes,allpell-mell,withoutfoldingitupandpackingit。Andaheavyshowerofraincameon,too,andDounia,insultedandputtoshame,hadtodrivewithapeasantinanopencartalltheseventeenverstsintotown。OnlythinknowwhatanswercouldIhavesenttotheletterIreceivedfromyoutwomonthsagoandwhatcouldIhavewritten?Iwasindespair;Idarednotwritetoyouthetruthbecauseyouwouldhavebeenveryunhappy,mortifiedandindignant,andyetwhatcouldyoudo?Youcouldonlyperhapsruinyourself,and,besides,Douniawouldnotallowit;andfillupmyletterwithtrifleswhenmyheartwassofullofsorrow,Icouldnot。Forawholemonththetownwasfullofgossipaboutthisscandal,anditcametosuchapassthatDouniaandIdarednotevengotochurchonaccountofthecontemptuouslooks,whispers,andevenremarksmadealoudaboutus。Allouracquaintancesavoidedus,nobodyevenbowedtousinthestreet,andIlearntthatsomeshopmenandclerkswereintendingtoinsultusinashamefulway,smearingthegatesofourhousewithpitch,sothatthelandlordbegantotelluswemustleave。AllthiswassetgoingbyMarfaPetrovnawhomanagedtoslanderDouniaandthrowdirtatherineveryfamily。Sheknowseveryoneintheneighbourhood,andthatmonthshewascontinuallycomingintothetown,andassheisrathertalkativeandfondofgossipingaboutherfamilyaffairsandparticularlyofcomplainingtoallandeachofherhusband-whichisnotatallright-
　　soinashorttimeshehadspreadherstorynotonlyinthetown,butoverthewholesurroundingdistrict。Itmademeill,butDouniaboreitbetterthanIdid,andifonlyyoucouldhaveseenhowsheendureditallandtriedtocomfortmeandcheermeup!Sheisanangel!ButbyGod'smercy,oursufferingswerecutshort：Mr。
　　Svidrigailovreturnedtohissensesandrepentedand,probablyfeelingsorryforDounia,helaidbeforeMarfaPetrovnaacompleteandunmistakableproofofDounia'sinnocence,intheformofaletterDouniahadbeenforcedtowriteandgivetohim,beforeMarfaPetrovnacameupontheminthegarden。Thisletter,whichremainedinMr。
　　Svidrigailov'shandsafterherdeparture,shehadwrittentorefusepersonalexplanationsandsecretinterviews,forwhichhewasentreatingher。InthatlettershereproachedhimwithgreatheatandindignationforthebasenessofhisbehaviourinregardtoMarfaPetrovna,remindinghimthathewasthefatherandheadofafamilyandtellinghimhowinfamousitwasofhimtotormentandmakeunhappyadefencelessgirl,unhappyenoughalready。Indeed,dearRodya,theletterwassonoblyandtouchinglywrittenthatIsobbedwhenIreaditandtothisdayIcannotreaditwithouttears。Moreover,theevidenceoftheservants,too,clearedDounia'sreputation;theyhadseenandknownagreatdealmorethanMr。Svidrigailovhadhimselfsupposed-asindeedisalwaysthecasewithservants。MarfaPetrovnawascompletelytakenaback,and'againcrushed'asshesaidherselftous,butshewascompletelyconvincedofDounia'sinnocence。Theverynextday,beingSunday,shewentstraighttotheCathedral,kneltdownandprayedwithtearstoOurLadytogiveherstrengthtobearthisnewtrialandtodoherduty。ThenshecamestraightfromtheCathedraltous,toldusthewholestory,weptbitterlyand,fullypenitent,sheembracedDouniaandbesoughthertoforgiveher。Thesamemorningwithoutanydelay,shewentroundtoallthehousesinthetownandeverywhere,sheddingtears,sheassertedinthemostflatteringtermsDounia'sinnocenceandthenobilityofherfeelingsandherbehavior。Whatwasmore,sheshowedandreadtoeveryonetheletterinDounia'sownhandwritingtoMr。Svidrigailovandevenallowedthemtotakecopiesofit-whichImustsayIthinkwassuperfluous。Inthiswayshewasbusyforseveraldaysindrivingaboutthewholetown,becausesomepeoplehadtakenoffencethroughprecedencehavingbeengiventoothers。Andthereforetheyhadtotaketurns,sothatineveryhouseshewasexpectedbeforeshearrived,andeveryoneknewthatonsuchandsuchadayMarfaPetrovnawouldbereadingtheletterinsuchandsuchaplaceandpeopleassembledforeveryreadingofit,evenmanywhohadhearditseveraltimesalreadybothintheirownhousesandinotherpeople's。Inmyopinionagreatdeal,averygreatdealofallthiswasunnecessary;
　　butthat'sMarfaPetrovna'scharacter。Anywayshesucceededincompletelyre-establishingDounia'sreputationandthewholeignominyofthisaffairrestedasanindelibledisgraceuponherhusband,astheonlypersontoblame,sothatIreallybegantofeelsorryforhim;itwasreallytreatingthecrazyfellowtooharshly。
　　Douniawasatonceaskedtogivelessonsinseveralfamilies,butsherefused。Allofasuddeneveryonebegantotreatherwithmarkedrespectandallthisdidmuchtobringabouttheeventbywhich,onemaysay,ourwholefortunesarenowtransformed。Youmustknow,dearRodya,thatDouniahasasuitorandthatshehasalreadyconsentedtomarryhim。Ihastentotellyouallaboutthematter,andthoughithasbeenarrangedwithoutaskingyourconsent,Ithinkyouwillnotbeaggrievedwithmeorwithyoursisteronthataccount,foryouwillseethatwecouldnotwaitandputoffourdecisiontillweheardfromyou。Andyoucouldnothavejudgedallthefactswithoutbeingonthespot。Thiswashowithappened。Heisalreadyoftherankofacounsellor,PyotrPetrovitchLuzhin,andisdistantlyrelatedtoMarfaPetrovna,whohasbeenveryactiveinbringingthematchabout。Itbeganwithhisexpressingthroughherhisdesiretomakeouracquaintance。Hewasproperlyreceived,drankcoffeewithusandtheverynextdayhesentusaletterinwhichheverycourteouslymadeanofferandbeggedforaspeedyanddecidedanswer。HeisaverybusymanandisinagreathurrytogettoPetersburg,sothateverymomentisprecioustohim。Atfirst,ofcourse,weweregreatlysurprised,asithadallhappenedsoquicklyandunexpectedly。Wethoughtandtalkeditoverthewholeday。Heisawell-to-doman,tobedependedupon,hehastwopostsinthegovernmentandhasalreadymadehisfortune。Itistruethatheisforty-fiveyearsold,butheisofafairlyprepossessingappearanceandmightstillbethoughtattractivebywomen,andheisaltogetheraveryrespectableandpresentableman,onlyheseemsalittlemoroseandsomewhatconceited。Butpossiblythatmayonlybetheimpressionhemakesatfirstsight。Andbeware,dearRodya,whenhecomestoPetersburg,asheshortlywilldo,bewareofjudginghimtoohastilyandseverely,asyourwayis,ifthereisanythingyoudonotlikeinhimatfirstsight。Igiveyouthiswarning,althoughIfeelsurethathewillmakeafavourableimpressionuponyou。Moreover,inordertounderstandanymanonemustbedeliberateandcarefultoavoidformingprejudicesandmistakenideas,whichareverydifficulttocorrectandgetoverafterwards。
　　AndPyotrPetrovitch,judgingbymanyindications,isathoroughlyestimableman。Athisfirstvisit,indeed,hetoldusthathewasapracticalman,butstillheshares,asheexpressedit,manyoftheconvictions'ofourmostrisinggeneration'andheisanopponentofallprejudices。Hesaidagooddealmore,forheseemsalittleconceitedandlikestobelistenedto,butthisisscarcelyavice。I,ofcourse,understoodverylittleofit,butDouniaexplainedtomethat,thoughheisnotamanofgreateducation,heiscleverandseemstobegood-natured。Youknowyoursister'scharacter,Rodya。Sheisaresolute,sensible,patientandgenerousgirl,butshehasapassionateheart,asIknowverywell。Ofcourse,thereisnogreatloveeitheronhisside,oronhers,butDouniaisaclevergirlandhastheheartofanangel,andwillmakeitherdutytomakeherhusbandhappywhoonhissidewillmakeherhappinesshiscare。Ofthatwehavenogoodreasontodoubt,thoughitmustbeadmittedthematterhasbeenarrangedingreathaste。Besidesheisamanofgreatprudenceandhewillsee,tobesure,ofhimself,thathisownhappinesswillbethemoresecure,thehappierDouniaiswithhim。Andasforsomedefectsofcharacter,forsomehabitsandevencertaindifferencesofopinion-whichindeedareinevitableeveninthehappiestmarriages-Douniahassaidthat,asregardsallthat,shereliesonherself,thatthereisnothingtobeuneasyabout,andthatsheisreadytoputupwithagreatdeal,ifonlytheirfuturerelationshipcanbeanhonourableandstraightforwardone。Hestruckme,forinstance,atfirst,asratherabrupt,butthatmaywellcomefromhisbeinganoutspokenman,andthatisnodoubthowitis。Forinstance,athissecondvisit,afterhehadreceivedDounia'sconsent,inthecourseofconversation,hedeclaredthatbeforemakingDounia'sacquaintance,hehadmadeuphismindtomarryagirlofgoodreputation,withoutdowryand,aboveall,onewhohadexperiencedpoverty,because,asheexplained,amanoughtnottobeindebtedtohiswife,butthatitisbetterforawifetolookuponherhusbandasherbenefactor。ImustaddthatheexpresseditmorenicelyandpolitelythanIhavedone,forIhaveforgottenhisactualphrasesandonlyrememberthemeaning。And,besides,itwasobviouslynotsaidofdesign,butslippedoutintheheatofconversation,sothathetriedafterwardstocorrecthimselfandsmoothitover,butallthesameitdidstrikemeassomewhatrude,andIsaidsoafterwardstoDounia。ButDouniawasvexed,andansweredthat'wordsarenotdeeds,'
　　andthat,ofcourse,isperfectlytrue。Douniadidnotsleepallnightbeforeshemadeuphermind,and,thinkingthatIwasasleep,shegotoutofbedandwaswalkingupanddowntheroomallnight;atlastshekneltdownbeforetheikonandprayedlongandferventlyandinthemorningshetoldmethatshehaddecided。
　　“IhavementionedalreadythatPyotrPetrovitchisjustsettingoffforPetersburg,wherehehasagreatdealofbusiness,andhewantstoopenalegalbureau。Hehasbeenoccupiedformanyyearsinconductingcivilandcommerciallitigation,andonlytheotherdayhewonanimportantcase。HehastobeinPetersburgbecausehehasanimportantcasebeforetheSenate。So,Rodyadear,hemaybeofthegreatestusetoyou,ineverywayindeed,andDouniaandIhaveagreedthatfromthisverydayyoucoulddefinitelyenteruponyourcareerandmightconsiderthatyourfutureismarkedoutandassuredforyou。
　　Oh,ifonlythiscomestopass!Thiswouldbesuchabenefitthatwecouldonlylookuponitasaprovidentialblessing。Douniaisdreamingofnothingelse。WehaveevenventuredalreadytodropafewwordsonthesubjecttoPyotrPetrovitch。Hewascautiousinhisanswer,andsaidthat,ofcourse,ashecouldnotgetonwithoutasecretary,itwouldbebettertobepayingasalarytoarelationthantoastranger,ifonlytheformerwerefittedforthedutiesasthoughtherecouldbedoubtofyourbeingfitted!butthenheexpresseddoubtswhetheryourstudiesattheuniversitywouldleaveyoutimeforworkathisoffice。Thematterdroppedforthetime,butDouniaisthinkingofnothingelsenow。Shehasbeeninasortoffeverforthelastfewdays,andhasalreadymadearegularplanforyourbecomingintheendanassociateandevenapartnerinPyotrPetrovitch'sbusiness,whichmightwellbe,seeingthatyouareastudentoflaw。Iamincompleteagreementwithher,Rodya,andshareallherplansandhopes,andthinkthereiseveryprobabilityofrealisingthem。AndinspiteofPyotrPetrovitch'sevasiveness,verynaturalatpresent,sincehedoesnotknowyouDouniaisfirmlypersuadedthatshewillgaineverythingbyhergoodinfluenceoverherfuturehusband;thissheisreckoningupon。OfcoursewearecarefulnottotalkofanyofthesemoreremoteplanstoPyotrPetrovitch,especiallyofyourbecominghispartner。Heisapracticalmanandmighttakethisverycoldly,itmightallseemtohimsimplyaday-dream。NorhaseitherDouniaorIbreathedawordtohimofthegreathopeswehaveofhishelpingustopayforyouruniversitystudies;wehavenotspokenofitinthefirstplace,becauseitwillcometopassofitself,lateron,andhewillnodoubtwithoutwastingwordsoffertodoitofhimself,asthoughhecouldrefuseDouniathatthemorereadilysinceyoumaybyyourowneffortsbecomehisrighthandintheoffice,andreceivethisassistancenotasacharity,butasasalaryearnedbyyourownwork。DouniawantstoarrangeitalllikethisandIquiteagreewithher。Andwehavenotspokenofourplansforanotherreason,thatis,becauseI
　　particularlywantedyoutofeelonanequalfootingwhenyoufirstmeethim。WhenDouniaspoketohimwithenthusiasmaboutyou,heansweredthatonecouldneverjudgeofamanwithoutseeinghimclose,foroneself,andthathelookedforwardtoforminghisownopinionwhenhemakesyouracquaintance。Doyouknow,mypreciousRodya,I
　　thinkthatperhapsforsomereasonsnothingtodowithPyotrPetrovitchthough,simplyformyownpersonal,perhapsold-womanish,fanciesIshoulddobettertogoonlivingbymyself,apart,thanwiththem,afterthewedding。Iamconvincedthathewillbegenerousanddelicateenoughtoinvitemeandtourgemetoremainwithmydaughterforthefuture,andifhehassaidnothingaboutithitherto,itissimplybecauseithasbeentakenforgranted;butI
　　shallrefuse。Ihavenoticedmorethanonceinmylifethathusbandsdon'tquitegetonwiththeirmothers-in-law,andIdon'twanttobetheleastbitinanyone'sway,andformyownsake,too,wouldratherbequiteindependent,solongasIhaveacrustofbreadofmyown,andsuchchildrenasyouandDounia。Ifpossible,Iwouldsettlesomewherenearyou,forthemostjoyfulpieceofnews,dearRodya,I
　　havekeptfortheendofmyletter：knowthen,mydearboy,thatwemay,perhaps,bealltogetherinaveryshorttimeandmayembraceoneanotheragainafteraseparationofalmostthreeyears!ItissettledforcertainthatDouniaandIaretosetoffforPetersburg,exactlywhenIdon'tknow,butvery,verysoon,possiblyinaweek。ItalldependsonPyotrPetrovitchwhowillletusknowwhenhehashadtimetolookroundhiminPetersburg。Tosuithisownarrangementsheisanxioustohavetheceremonyassoonaspossible,evenbeforethefastofOurLady,ifitcouldbemanaged,orifthatistoosoontobeready,immediatelyafter。Oh,withwhathappinessIshallpressyoutomyheart!Douniaisallexcitementatthejoyfulthoughtofseeingyou,shesaidonedayinjokethatshewouldbereadytomarryPyotrPetrovitchforthatalone。Sheisanangel!Sheisnotwritinganythingtoyounow,andhasonlytoldmetowritethatshehassomuch,somuchtotellyouthatsheisnotgoingtotakeupherpennow,forafewlineswouldtellyounothing,anditwouldonlymeanupsettingherself;shebidsmesendyouherloveandinnumerablekisses。Butalthoughweshallbemeetingsosoon,perhapsIshallsendyouasmuchmoneyasIcaninadayortwo。NowthateveryonehasheardthatDouniaistomarryPyotrPetrovitch,mycredithassuddenlyimprovedandIknowthatAfanasyIvanovitchwilltrustmenoweventoseventy-fiveroublesonthesecurityofmypension,sothatperhapsIshallbeabletosendyoutwenty-fiveoreventhirtyroubles。Iwouldsendyoumore,butIamuneasyaboutourtravellingexpenses;forthoughPyotrPetrovitchhasbeensokindastoundertakepartoftheexpensesofthejourney,thatistosay,hehastakenuponhimselftheconveyanceofourbagsandbigtrunkwhichwillbeconveyedthroughsomeacquaintancesofhis,wemustreckonuponsomeexpensesonourarrivalinPetersburg,wherewecan'tbeleftwithoutahalfpenny,atleastforthefirstfewdays。
　　Butwehavecalculateditall,DouniaandI,tothelastpenny,andweseethatthejourneywillnotcostverymuch。Itisonlyninetyverstsfromustotherailwayandwehavecometoanagreementwithadriverweknow,soastobeinreadiness;andfromthereDouniaandIcantravelquitecomfortablythirdclass。SothatImayverylikelybeabletosendtoyounottwenty-five,butthirtyroubles。Butenough;Ihavecoveredtwosheetsalreadyandthereisnospaceleftformore;ourwholehistory,butsomanyeventshavehappened!Andnow,mypreciousRodya,Iembraceyouandsendyouamother'sblessingtillwemeet。LoveDouniayoursister,Rodya;loveherasshelovesyouandunderstandthatshelovesyoubeyondeverything,morethanherself。Sheisanangelandyou,Rodya,youareeverythingtous-ouronehope,ouroneconsolation。Ifonlyyouarehappy,weshallbehappy。Doyoustillsayyourprayers,Rodya,andbelieveinthemercyofourCreatorandourRedeemer?Iamafraidinmyheartthatyoumayhavebeenvisitedbythenewspiritofinfidelitythatisabroadto-day!Ifitisso,Iprayforyou。Remember,dearboy,howinyourchildhood,whenyourfatherwasliving,youusedtolispyourprayersatmyknee,andhowhappyweallwereinthosedays。Good-bye,tillwemeetthen-Iembraceyouwarmly,warmly,withmanykisses。
　　“Yourstilldeath“PULCHERIARASKOLNIKOV。“-
　　Almostfromthefirst,whilehereadtheletter,Raskolnikov'sfacewaswetwithtears;butwhenhefinishedit,hisfacewaspaleanddistortedandabitter,wrathfulandmalignantsmilewasonhislips。Helaidhisheaddownonhisthreadbaredirtypillowandpondered,ponderedalongtime。Hisheartwasbeatingviolently,andhisbrainwasinaturmoil。Atlasthefeltcrampedandstifledinthelittleyellowroomthatwaslikeacupboardorabox。Hiseyesandhismindcravedforspace。Hetookuphishatandwentout,thistimewithoutdreadofmeetinganyone;hehadforgottenhisdread。HeturnedinthedirectionoftheVassilyevskyOstrov,walkingalongVassilyevskyProspect,asthoughhasteningonsomebusiness,buthewalked,ashishabitwas,withoutnoticinghisway,mutteringandevenspeakingaloudtohimself,totheastonishmentofthepassers-by。Manyofthemtookhimtobedrunk。
　　ChapterFourHISMOTHER'Sletterhadbeenatorturetohim,butasregardsthechieffactinit,hehadfeltnotonemoment'shesitation,evenwhilsthewasreadingtheletter。Theessentialquestionwassettled,andirrevocablysettled,inhismind：“NeversuchamarriagewhileIamaliveandMr。Luzhinbedamned;““Thethingisperfectlyclear,“hemutteredtohimself,withamalignantsmileanticipatingthetriumphofhisdecision。“No,mother,no,Dounia,youwon'tdeceiveme!andthentheyapologisefornotaskingmyadviceandfortakingthedecisionwithoutme!Idaresay!Theyimagineitisarrangednowandcan'tbebrokenoff;butwewillseewhetheritcanornot!A
　　magnificentexcuse：'PyotrPetrovitchissuchabusymanthatevenhisweddinghastobeinpost-haste,almostbyexpress。'No,Dounia,IseeitallandIknowwhatyouwanttosaytome;andIknowtoowhatyouwerethinkingabout,whenyouwalkedupanddownallnight,andwhatyourprayerswerelikebeforetheHolyMotherofKazanwhostandsinmother'sbedroom。BitteristheascenttoGolgotha……Hm……soitisfinallysettled;youhavedeterminedtomarryasensiblebusinessman,AvdotyaRomanovna,onewhohasafortunehasalreadymadehisfortune,thatissomuchmoresolidandimpressiveamanwhoholdstwogovernmentpostsandwhosharestheideasofourmostrisinggeneration,asmotherwrites,andwhoseemstobekind,asDouniaherselfobserves。Thatseemsbeatseverything!AndthatveryDouniaforthatvery'seems'ismarryinghim!Splendid!splendid!
　　“……ButIshouldliketoknowwhymotherhaswrittentomeabout'ourmostrisinggeneration'?Simplyasadescriptivetouch,orwiththeideaofprepossessingmeinfavourofMr。Luzhin?Oh,thecunningofthem!Ishouldliketoknowonethingmore：howfartheywereopenwithoneanotherthatdayandnightandallthistimesince?
　　Wasitallputintowords,ordidbothunderstandthattheyhadthesamethingatheartandintheirminds,sothattherewasnoneedtospeakofitaloud,andbetternottospeakofit。Mostlikelyitwaspartlylikethat,frommother'sletterit'sevident：hestruckherasrudealittle,andmotherinhersimplicitytookherobservationstoDounia。Andshewassuretobevexedand'answeredherangrily。'
　　Ishouldthinkso!Whowouldnotbeangeredwhenitwasquiteclearwithoutanynaivequestionsandwhenitwasunderstoodthatitwasuselesstodiscussit。Andwhydoesshewritetome,'loveDounia,Rodya,andshelovesyoumorethanherself'?Hassheasecretconscience-prickatsacrificingherdaughtertoherson?'Youareouronecomfort,youareeverythingtous。'Oh,mother！”
　　Hisbitternessgrewmoreandmoreintense,andifhehadhappenedtomeetMr。Luzhinatthemoment,hemighthavemurderedhim。
　　“Hm……yes,that'strue,“hecontinued,pursuingthewhirlingideasthatchasedeachotherinhisbrain,“itistruethat'itneedstimeandcaretogettoknowaman,'butthereisnomistakeaboutMr。Luzhin。Thechiefthingisheis'amanofbusinessandseemskind,'thatwassomething,wasn'tit,tosendthebagsandbigboxforthem!Akindman,nodoubtafterthat!Buthisbrideandhermotheraretodriveinapeasant'scartcoveredwithsackingI
　　know,Ihavebeendriveninit。Nomatter!Itisonlyninetyverstsandthentheycan'travelverycomfortably,thirdclass,'forathousandversts!Quiteright,too。Onemustcutone'scoataccordingtoone'scloth,butwhataboutyou,Mr。Luzhin?Sheisyourbride……Andyoumustbeawarethathermotherhastoraisemoneyonherpensionforthejourney。Tobesureit'samatterofbusiness,apartnershipformutualbenefit,withequalsharesandexpenses;-foodanddrinkprovided,butpayforyourtobacco。Thebusinessmanhasgotthebetterofthem,too。Theluggagewillcostlessthantheirfaresandverylikelygofornothing。Howisitthattheydon'tbothseeallthat,orisitthattheydon'twanttosee?
　　Andtheyarepleased,pleased!Andtothinkthatthisisonlythefirstblossoming,andthattherealfruitsaretocome!Butwhatreallymattersisnotthestinginess,isnotthemeanness,butthetoneofthewholething。Forthatwillbethetoneaftermarriage,it'saforetasteofit。Andmothertoo,whyshouldshebesolavish?
　　WhatwillshehavebythetimeshegetstoPetersburg?Threesilverroublesortwo'paperones'asshesays……thatoldwoman……hm。WhatdoessheexpecttoliveuponinPetersburgafterwards?ShehasherreasonsalreadyforguessingthatshecouldnotlivewithDouniaafterthemarriage,evenforthefirstfewmonths。Thegoodmanhasnodoubtletslipsomethingonthatsubjectalso,thoughmotherwoulddenyit：'Ishallrefuse,'saysshe。Onwhomisshereckoningthen?IsshecountingonwhatisleftofherhundredandtwentyroublesofpensionwhenAfanasyIvanovitch'sdebtispaid?Sheknitswoollenshawlsandembroiderscuffs,ruiningheroldeyes。Andallhershawlsdon'taddmorethantwentyroublesayeartoherhundredandtwenty,Iknowthat。SosheisbuildingallherhopesallthetimeonMr。Luzhin'sgenerosity;'hewillofferitofhimself,hewillpressitonme。'Youmaywaitalongtimeforthat!That'showitalwaysiswiththeseSchilleresquenoblehearts;tillthelastmomenteverygooseisaswanwiththem,tillthelastmoment,theyhopeforthebestandwillseenothingwrong,andalthoughtheyhaveaninklingoftheothersideofthepicture,yettheywon'tfacethetruthtilltheyareforcedto;theverythoughtofitmakesthemshiver;theythrustthetruthawaywithbothhands,untilthemantheydeckoutinfalsecoloursputsafool'scaponthemwithhisownhands。IshouldliketoknowwhetherMr。Luzhinhasanyordersofmerit;IbethehastheAnnainhisbuttonholeandthatheputsitonwhenhegoestodinewithcontractorsormerchants。Hewillbesuretohaveitforhiswedding,too!Enoughofhim,confoundhim!
　　“Well,……motherIdon'twonderat,it'slikeher,Godblessher,buthowcouldDounia?Dounia,darling,asthoughIdidnotknowyou!
　　YouwerenearlytwentywhenIsawyoulast：Iunderstoodyouthen。
　　Motherwritesthat'Douniacanputupwithagreatdeal。'Iknowthatverywell。Iknewthattwoyearsandahalfago,andforthelasttwoandahalfyearsIhavebeenthinkingaboutit,thinkingofjustthat,that'Douniacanputupwithagreatdeal。'IfshecouldputupwithMr。Svidrigailovandalltherestofit,shecertainlycanputupwithagreatdeal。AndnowmotherandshehavetakenitintotheirheadsthatshecanputupwithMr。Luzhin,whopropoundsthetheoryofthesuperiorityofwivesraisedfromdestitutionandowingeverythingtotheirhusband'sbounty-whopropoundsit,too,almostatthefirstinterview。Grantedthathe'letitslip,'thoughheisasensibleman,yetmaybeitwasnotaslipatall,buthemeanttomakehimselfclearassoonaspossiblebutDounia,Dounia?Sheunderstandstheman,ofcourse,butshewillhavetolivewiththeman。Why!she'dliveonblackbreadandwater,shewouldnotsellhersoul,shewouldnotbarterhermoralfreedomforcomfort;shewouldnotbarteritforallSchleswig-Holstein,muchlessMr。Luzhin'smoney。No,DouniawasnotthatsortwhenIknewherand……sheisstillthesame,ofcourse!Yes,there'snodenying,theSvidrigailovsareabitterpill!It'sabitterthingtospendone'slifeagovernessintheprovincesfortwohundredroubles,butI
　　knowshewouldratherbeaniggeronaplantationoraLettwithaGermanmaster,thandegradehersoul,andhermoraldignity,bybindingherselfforevertoamanwhomshedoesnotrespectandwithwhomshehasnothingincommon-forherownadvantage。AndifMr。
　　Luzhinhadbeenofunalloyedgold,oronehugediamond,shewouldneverhaveconsentedtobecomehislegalconcubine。Whyissheconsentingthen?What'sthepointofit?What'stheanswer?It'sclearenough：forherself,forhercomfort,tosaveherlifeshewouldnotsellherself,butforsomeoneelsesheisdoingit!Foronesheloves,foronesheadores,shewillsellherself!That'swhatitallamountsto;forherbrother,forhermother,shewillsellherself!
　　Shewillselleverything!Insuchcases,we'overcomeourmoralfeelingifnecessary,'freedom,peace,conscienceeven,all,allarebroughtintothemarket。Letmylifego,ifonlymydearonesmaybehappy!Morethanthat,webecomecasuists,welearntobeJesuiticalandforatimemaybewecansootheourselves,wecanpersuadeourselvesthatitisone'sdutyforagoodobject。That'sjustlikeus,it'sasclearasdaylight。It'sclearthatRodionRomanovitchRaskolnikovisthecentralfigureinthebusiness,andnooneelse。
　　Oh,yes,shecanensurehishappiness,keephimintheuniversity,makehimapartnerintheoffice,makehiswholefuturesecure;
　　perhapshemayevenbearichmanlateron,prosperous,respected,andmayevenendhislifeafamousman!Butmymother?It'sallRodya,preciousRodya,herfirstborn!Forsuchasonwhowouldnotsacrificesuchadaughter!Oh,loving,over-partialhearts!Why,forhissakewewouldnotshrinkevenfromSonia'sfate。Sonia,SoniaMarmeladov,theeternalvictimsolongastheworldlasts。Haveyoutakenthemeasureofyoursacrifice,bothofyou?Isitright?Canyoubearit?Isitanyuse?Istheresenseinit?Andletmetellyou,Dounia,Sonia'slifeisnoworsethanlifewithMr。Luzhin。'Therecanbenoquestionoflove'motherwrites。Andwhatiftherecanbenorespecteither,ifonthecontrarythereisaversion,contempt,repulsion,whatthen?Soyouwillhaveto'keepupyourappearance,'
　　too。Isthatnotso?Doyouunderstandwhatthatsmartnessmeans?DoyouunderstandthattheLuzhinsmartnessisjustthesamethingasSonia'sandmaybeworse,viler,baser,becauseinyourcase,Dounia,it'sabargainforluxuries,afterall,butwithSoniait'ssimplyaquestionofstarvation。Ithastobepaidfor,ithastobepaidfor,Dounia,thissmartness。Andwhatifit'smorethanyoucanbearafterwards,ifyouregretit?Thebitterness,themisery,thecurses,thetearshiddenfromalltheworld,foryouarenotaMarfaPetrovna。Andhowwillyourmotherfeelthen?Evennowsheisuneasy,sheisworried,butthen,whensheseesitallclearly?AndI?
　　Yes,indeed,whathaveyoutakenmefor?Iwon'thaveyoursacrifice,Dounia,Iwon'thaveit,mother!Itshallnotbe,solongasIamalive,itshallnot,itshallnot!Iwon'tacceptit！”
　　Hesuddenlypausedinhisreflectionandstoodstill。
　　“Itshallnotbe?Butwhatareyougoingtodotopreventit?You'llforbidit?Andwhatrighthaveyou?Whatcanyoupromisethemonyoursidetogiveyousucharight?Yourwholelife,yourwholefuture,youwilldevotetothemwhenyouhavefinishedyourstudiesandobtainedapost?Yes,wehaveheardallthatbefore,andthat'sallwords,butnow?Nowsomethingmustbedone,now,doyouunderstandthat?Andwhatareyoudoingnow?Youarelivinguponthem。Theyborrowontheirhundredroublespension。TheyborrowfromtheSvidrigailovs。HowareyougoingtosavethemfromSvidrigailovs,fromAfanasyIvanovitchVahrushin,oh,futuremillionaireZeuswhowouldarrangetheirlivesforthem?Inanothertenyears?Inanothertenyears,motherwillbeblindwithknittingshawls,maybewithweepingtoo。Shewillbeworntoashadowwithfasting;andmysister?Imagineforamomentwhatmayhavebecomeofyoursisterintenyears?Whatmayhappentoherduringthosetenyears?Canyoufancy？”
　　Sohetorturedhimself,frettinghimselfwithsuchquestions,andfindingakindofenjoymentinit。Andyetallthesequestionswerenotnewonessuddenlyconfrontinghim,theywereoldfamiliaraches。
　　Itwaslongsincetheyhadfirstbeguntogripandrendhisheart。
　　Long,longagohispresentanguishhaditsfirstbeginnings;ithadwaxedandgatheredstrength,ithadmaturedandconcentrated,untilithadtakentheformofafearful,frenziedandfantasticquestion,whichtorturedhisheartandmind,clamouringinsistentlyforananswer。Nowhismother'sletterhadburstonhimlikeathunderclap。
　　Itwasclearthathemustnotnowsufferpassively,worryinghimselfoverunsolvedquestions,butthathemustdosomething,doitatonce,anddoitquickly。Anywayhemustdecideonsomething,orelse……
　　“Orthrowuplifealtogether！”hecriedsuddenly,inafrenzy-
　　“acceptone'slothumblyasitis,onceforallandstifleeverythinginoneself,givingupallclaimtoactivity,lifeandlove！”
　　“Doyouunderstand,sir,doyouunderstandwhatitmeanswhenyouhaveabsolutelynowheretoturn？”Marmeladov'squestioncamesuddenlyintohismind“foreverymanmusthavesomewheretoturn……“
　　Hegaveasuddenstart;anotherthought,thathehadhadyesterday,slippedbackintohismind。Buthedidnotstartatthethoughtrecurringtohim,forheknew,hehadfeltbeforehand,thatitmustcomeback,hewasexpectingit;besidesitwasnotonlyyesterday'sthought。Thedifferencewasthatamonthago,yesterdayeven,thethoughtwasameredream：butnow……nowitappearednotadreamatall,ithadtakenanewmenacingandquiteunfamiliarshape,andhesuddenlybecameawareofthishimself……Hefeltahammeringinhishead,andtherewasadarknessbeforehiseyes。
　　Helookedroundhurriedly,hewassearchingforsomething。Hewantedtositdownandwaslookingforaseat;hewaswalkingalongtheK____
　　Boulevard。Therewasaseataboutahundredpacesinfrontofhim。
　　Hewalkedtowardsitasfasthecould;butonthewayhemetwithalittleadventurewhichabsorbedallhisattention。Lookingfortheseat,hehadnoticedawomanwalkingsometwentypacesinfrontofhim,butatfirsthetooknomorenoticeofherthanofotherobjectsthatcrossedhispath。Ithadhappenedtohimmanytimesgoinghomenottonoticetheroadbywhichhewasgoing,andhewasaccustomedtowalklikethat。Buttherewasatfirstsightsomethingsostrangeaboutthewomaninfrontofhim,thatgraduallyhisattentionwasriveteduponher,atfirstreluctantlyand,asitwere,resentfully,andthenmoreandmoreintently。Hefeltasuddendesiretofindoutwhatitwasthatwassostrangeaboutthewoman。Inthefirstplace,sheappearedtobeagirlquiteyoung,andshewaswalkinginthegreatheatbareheadedandwithnoparasolorgloves,wavingherarmsaboutinanabsurdway。Shehadonadressofsomelightsilkymaterial,butputonstrangelyawry,notproperlyhookedup,andtornopenatthetopoftheskirt,closetothewaist：agreatpiecewasrentandhangingloose。Alittlekerchiefwasflungaboutherbarethroat,butlayslantingononeside。Thegirlwaswalkingunsteadily,too,stumblingandstaggeringfromsidetoside。ShedrewRaskolnikov'swholeattentionatlast。Heovertookthegirlattheseat,but,onreachingit,shedroppeddownonit,inthecorner;sheletherheadsinkonthebackoftheseatandclosedhereyes,apparentlyinextremeexhaustion。Lookingatherclosely,hesawatoncethatshewascompletelydrunk。Itwasastrangeandshockingsight。Hecouldhardlybelievethathewasnotmistaken。Hesawbeforehimthefaceofaquiteyoung,fair-hairedgirl-sixteen,perhapsnotmorethanfifteenyearsold,prettylittleface,butflushedandheavylookingand,asitwere,swollen。Thegirlseemedhardlytoknowwhatshewasdoing;shecrossedonelegovertheother,liftingitindecorously,andshowedeverysignofbeingunconsciousthatshewasinthestreet。
　　Raskolnikovdidnotsitdown,buthefeltunwillingtoleaveher,andstoodfacingherinperplexity。Thisboulevardwasnevermuchfrequented;andnow,attwoo'clock,inthestiflingheat,itwasquitedeserted。Andyetonthefurthersideoftheboulevard,aboutfifteenpacesaway,agentlemanwasstandingontheedgeofthepavement,he,too,wouldapparentlyhavelikedtoapproachthegirlwithsomeobjectofhisown。He,too,hadprobablyseenherinthedistanceandhadfollowedher,butfoundRaskolnikovinhisway。Helookedangrilyathim,thoughhetriedtoescapehisnotice,andstoodimpatientlybidinghistime,tilltheunwelcomemaninragsshouldhavemovedaway。Hisintentionswereunmistakable。Thegentlemanwasaplump,thickly-setman,aboutthirty,fashionablydressed,withahighcolour,redlipsandmoustaches。Raskolnikovfeltfurious;hehadasuddenlongingtoinsultthisfatdandyinsomeway。Heleftthegirlforamomentandwalkedtowardsthegentleman。
　　“Hey!YouSvidrigailov!Whatdoyouwanthere？”heshouted,clenchinghisfistsandlaughing,splutteringwithrage。
　　“Whatdoyoumean？”thegentlemanaskedsternly,scowlinginhaughtyastonishment。
　　“Getaway,that'swhatImean。“
　　“Howdareyou,youlowfellow！”
　　Heraisedhiscane。Raskolnikovrushedathimwithhisfists,withoutreflectingthatthestoutgentlemanwasamatchfortwomenlikehimself。Butatthatinstantsomeoneseizedhimfrombehind,andapoliceconstablestoodbetweenthem。
　　“That'senough,gentlemen,nofighting,please,inapublicplace。
　　Whatdoyouwant?Whoareyou？”heaskedRaskolnikovsternly,noticinghisrags。
　　Raskolnikovlookedathimintently。Hehadastraight-forward,sensible,soldierlyface,withgreymoustachesandwhiskers。
　　“YouarejustthemanIwant,“Raskolnikovcried,catchingathisarm。“Iamastudent,Raskolnikov……Youmayaswellknowthattoo,“headded,addressingthegentleman,“comealong,Ihavesomethingtoshowyou。“
　　Andtakingthepolicemanbythehandhedrewhimtowardstheseat。
　　“Lookhere,hopelesslydrunk,andshehasjustcomedowntheboulevard。Thereisnotellingwhoandwhatsheis,shedoesnotlooklikeaprofessional。It'smorelikelyshehasbeengivendrinkanddeceivedsomewhere……forthefirsttime……youunderstand?andthey'veputheroutintothestreetlikethat。Lookatthewayherdressistorn,andthewayithasbeenputon：shehasbeendressedbysomebody,shehasnotdressedherself,anddressedbyunpractisedhands,byaman'shands;that'sevident。Andnowlookthere：Idon'tknowthatdandywithwhomIwasgoingtofight,Iseehimforthefirsttime,but,he,toohasseenherontheroad,justnow,drunk,notknowingwhatsheisdoing,andnowheisveryeagertogetholdofher,togetherawaysomewherewhilesheisinthisstate……that'scertain,believeme,Iamnotwrong。Isawhimmyselfwatchingherandfollowingher,butIpreventedhim,andheisjustwaitingformetogoaway。Nowhehaswalkedawayalittle,andisstandingstill,pretendingtomakeacigarette……Thinkhowcanwekeepheroutofhishands,andhowarewetogetherhome？”
　　Thepolicemansawitallinaflash。Thestoutgentlemanwaseasytounderstand,heturnedtoconsiderthegirl。Thepolicemanbentovertoexaminehermoreclosely,andhisfaceworkedwithgenuinecompassion。
　　“Ah,whatapity！”hesaid,shakinghishead-“why,sheisquiteachild!Shehasbeendeceived,youcanseethatatonce。Listen,lady,“
　　hebeganaddressingher,“wheredoyoulive？”Thegirlopenedherwearyandsleepy-lookingeyes,gazedblanklyatthespeakerandwavedherhand。
　　“Here,“saidRaskolnikovfeelinginhispocketandfindingtwentycopecks,“here,callacabandtellhimtodrivehertoheraddress。
　　Theonlythingistofindoutheraddress！”
　　“Missy,missy！”thepolicemanbeganagain,takingthemoney。“I'llfetchyouacabandtakeyouhomemyself。WhereshallItakeyou,eh?Wheredoyoulive？”
　　“Goaway!Theywon'tletmealone,“thegirlmuttered,andoncemorewavedherhand。
　　“Ach,ach,howshocking!It'sshameful,missy,it'sashame！”Heshookhisheadagain,shocked,sympatheticandindignant。
　　“It'sadifficultjob,“thepolicemansaidtoRaskolnikov,andashedidso,helookedhimupanddowninarapidglance。He。too,musthaveseemedastrangefiguretohim：dressedinragsandhandinghimmoney!
　　“Didyoumeetherfarfromhere？”heaskedhim。
　　“Itellyoushewaswalkinginfrontofme,staggering,justhere,intheboulevard。Sheonlyjustreachedtheseatandsankdownonit。“
　　“Ah,theshamefulthingsthataredoneintheworldnowadays,Godhavemercyonus!Aninnocentcreaturelikethat,drunkalready!Shehasbeendeceived,that'sasurething。Seehowherdresshasbeentorntoo……Ah,theviceoneseesnowadays!Andaslikelyasnotshebelongstogentlefolktoo,pooronesmaybe……Therearemanylikethatnowadays。Shelooksrefined,too,asthoughshewerealady,“andhebentoverheroncemore。
　　Perhapshehaddaughtersgrowinguplikethat,“lookinglikeladiesandrefined“withpretensionstogentilityandsmartness……
　　“Thechiefthingis,“Raskolnikovpersisted,“tokeepheroutofthisscoundrel'shands!Whyshouldheoutrageher!It'sasclearasdaywhatheisafter;ah,thebrute,heisnotmovingoff！”
　　Raskolnikovspokealoudandpointedtohim。Thegentlemanheardhim,andseemedabouttoflyintoarageagain,butthoughtbetterofit,andconfinedhimselftoacontemptuouslook。Hethenwalkedslowlyanothertenpacesawayandagainhalted。
　　“Keepheroutofhishandswecan,“saidtheconstablethoughtfully,“ifonlyshe'dtelluswheretotakeher,butasitis……Missy,hey,missy！”hebentoverheroncemore。
　　Sheopenedhereyesfullyallofasudden,lookedathimintently,asthoughrealisingsomething,gotupfromtheseatandwalkedawayinthedirectionfromwhichshehadcome。“Ohshamefulwretches,theywon'tletmealone！”shesaid,wavingherhandagain。Shewalkedquickly,thoughstaggeringasbefore。Thedandyfollowedher,butalonganotheravenue,keepinghiseyeonher。
　　“Don'tbeanxious,Iwon'tlethimhaveher,“thepolicemansaidresolutely,andhesetoffafterthem。
　　“Ah,theviceoneseesnowadays！”herepeatedaloud,sighing。
　　AtthatmomentsomethingseemedtostingRaskolnikov;inaninstantacompleterevulsionoffeelingcameoverhim。
　　“Hey,here！”heshoutedafterthepoliceman。
　　Thelatterturnedround。
　　“Letthembe!Whatisittodowithyou?Lethergo!Lethimamusehimself。“Hepointedatthedandy,“Whatisittodowithyou？”
　　Thepolicemanwasbewildered,andstaredathimopen-eyed。
　　Raskolnikovlaughed。
　　“Well！”ejaculatedthepoliceman,withagestureofcontempt,andhewalkedafterthedandyandthegirl,probablytakingRaskolnikovforamadmanorsomethingevenworse。
　　“Hehascarriedoffmytwentycopecks,“Raskolnikovmurmuredangrilywhenhewasleftalone。“Well,lethimtakeasmuchfromtheotherfellowtoallowhimtohavethegirlandsoletitend。AndwhydidIwanttointerfere?Isitformetohelp?HaveIanyrighttohelp?
　　Letthemdevoureachotheralive-whatistome?HowdidIdaretogivehimtwentycopecks?Weretheymine？”
　　Inspiteofthosestrangewordshefeltverywretched。Hesatdownonthedesertedseat。Histhoughtstrayedaimlessly……Hefoundithardtofixhismindonanythingatthatmoment。Helongedtoforgethimselfaltogether,toforgeteverything,andthentowakeupandbeginlifeanew……
　　“Poorgirl！”hesaid,lookingattheemptycornerwhereshehadsat-
　　“Shewillcometoherselfandweep,andthenhermotherwillfindout……Shewillgiveherabeating,ahorrible,shamefulbeatingandthenmaybe,turnheroutofdoors……Andevenifshedoesnot,theDaryaFrantsovnaswillgetwindofit,andthegirlwillsoonbeslippingoutontheslyhereandthere。Thentherewillbethehospitaldirectlythat'salwaystheluckofthosegirlswithrespectablemothers,whogowrongontheslyandthen……againthehospital……drink……thetaverns……andmorehospital,intwoorthreeyears-awreck,andherlifeoverateighteenornineteen……HavenotIseencaseslikethat?Andhowhavetheybeenbroughttoit?Why,they'veallcometoitlikethat。Ugh!Butwhatdoesitmatter?That'sasitshouldbe,theytellus。Acertainpercentage,theytellus,musteveryyeargo……thatway……tothedevil,Isuppose,sothattherestmayremainchaste,andnotbeinterferedwith。Apercentage!Whatsplendidwordstheyhave;theyaresoscientific,soconsolatory……
　　Onceyou'vesaid'percentage,'there'snothingmoretoworryabout。Ifwehadanyotherword……maybewemightfeelmoreuneasy……ButwhatifDouniawereoneofthepercentage!Ofanotheroneifnotthatone?
　　“ButwhereamIgoing？”hethoughtsuddenly。“Strange,Icameoutforsomething。AssoonasIhadreadtheletterIcameout……IwasgoingtoVassilyevskyOstrov,toRazumihin。That'swhatitwas……
　　nowIremember。Whatfor,though?AndwhatputtheideaofgoingtoRazumihinintomyheadjustnow?That'scurious。“
　　Hewonderedathimself。Razumihinwasoneofhisoldcomradesattheuniversity。ItwasremarkablethatRaskolnikovhadhardlyanyfriendsattheuniversity;hekeptalooffromeveryone,wenttoseenoone,anddidnotwelcomeanyonewhocametoseehim,andindeedeveryonesoongavehimup。Hetooknopartinthestudents'
　　gatherings,amusementsorconversations。Heworkedwithgreatintensitywithoutsparinghimself,andhewasrespectedforthis,butnoonelikedhim。Hewasverypoor,andtherewasasortofhaughtyprideandreserveabouthim,asthoughhewerekeepingsomethingtohimself。Heseemedtosomeofhiscomradestolookdownuponthemallaschildren,asthoughheweresuperiorindevelopment,knowledgeandconvictions,asthoughtheirbeliefsandinterestswerebeneathhim。
　　WithRazumihinhehadgoton,or,atleast,hewasmoreunreservedandcommunicativewithhim。IndeeditwasimpossibletobeonanyothertermswithRazumihin。Hewasanexceptionallygood-humouredandcandidyouth,good-naturedtothepointofsimplicity,thoughbothdepthanddignitylayconcealedunderthatsimplicity。Thebetterofhiscomradesunderstoodthis,andallwerefondofhim。Hewasextremelyintelligent,thoughhewascertainlyratherasimpletonattimes。Hewasofstrikingappearance-tall,thin,blackhairedandalwaysbadlyshaved。Hewassometimesuproariousandwasreputedtobeofgreatphysicalstrength。Onenight,whenoutinafestivecompany,hehadwithoneblowlaidagiganticpolicemanonhisback。
　　Therewasnolimittohisdrinkingpowers,buthecouldabstainfromdrinkaltogether;hesometimeswenttoofarinhispranks;buthecoulddowithoutpranksaltogether。AnotherthingstrikingaboutRazumihin,nofailuredistressedhim,anditseemedasthoughnounfavourablecircumstancescouldcrushhim。Hecouldlodgeanywhere,andbeartheextremesofcoldandhunger。Hewasverypoor,andkepthimselfentirelyonwhathecouldearnbyworkofonesortoranother。
　　Heknewofnoendofresourcesbywhichtoearnmoney。Hespentonewholewinterwithoutlightinghisstove,andusedtodeclarethathelikeditbetter,becauseonesleptmoresoundlyinthecold。Forthepresenthe,too,hadbeenobligedtogiveuptheuniversity,butitwasonlyforatime,andhewasworkingwithallhismighttosaveenoughtoreturntohisstudiesagain。Raskolnikovhadnotbeentoseehimforthelastfourmonths,andRazumihindidnotevenknowhisaddress。Abouttwomonthsbefore,theyhadmetinthestreet,butRaskolnikovhadturnedawayandevencrossedtotheothersidethathemightnotbeobserved。AndthoughRazumihinnoticedhim,hepassedhimby,ashedidnotwanttoannoyhim。
　　ChapterFive“OFCOURSE,I'vebeenmeaninglatelytogotoRazumihin'stoaskforwork,toaskhimtogetmelessonsorsomething……“Raskolnikovthought,“butwhathelpcanhebetomenow?Supposehegetsmelessons,supposeheshareshislastfarthingwithme,ifhehasanyfarthings,sothatIcouldgetsomebootsandmakemyselftidyenoughtogivelessons……hm……Wellandwhatthen?WhatshallIdowiththefewcoppersIearn?That'snotwhatIwantnow。It'sreallyabsurdformetogotoRazumihin……“
　　ThequestionwhyhewasnowgoingtoRazumihinagitatedhimevenmorethanhewashimselfaware;hekeptuneasilyseekingforsomesinistersignificanceinthisapparentlyordinaryaction。
　　“CouldIhaveexpectedtosetitallstraightandtofindawayoutbymeansofRazumihinalone？”heaskedhimselfinperplexity。
　　Heponderedandrubbedhisforehead,and,strangetosay,afterlongmusing,suddenly,asifitwerespontaneouslyandbychance,afantasticthoughtcameintohishead。
　　“Hm……toRazumihin's,“hesaidallatonce,calmly,asthoughhehadreachedafinaldetermination。“IshallgotoRazumihin'sofcourse,but……notnow。Ishallgotohim……onthenextdayafterIt,whenItwillbeoverandeverythingwillbeginafresh……“
　　Andsuddenlyherealisedwhathewasthinking。
　　“AfterIt,“heshouted,jumpingupfromtheseat,“butisItreallygoingtohappen?Isitpossibleitreallywillhappen？”Helefttheseat,andwentoffalmostatarun;hemeanttoturnback,homewards,butthethoughtofgoinghomesuddenlyfilledhimwithintenseloathing;inthathole,inthatawfullittlecupboardofhis,allthishadforamonthpastbeengrowingupinhim;andhewalkedonatrandom。
　　Hisnervousshudderhadpassedintoafeverthatmadehimfeelshivering;inspiteoftheheathefeltcold。Withakindofefforthebeganalmostunconsciously,fromsomeinnercraving,tostareatalltheobjectsbeforehim,asthoughlookingforsomethingtodistracthisattention;buthedidnotsucceed,andkeptdroppingeverymomentintobrooding。Whenwithastartheliftedhisheadagainandlookedaround,heforgotatoncewhathehadjustbeenthinkingaboutandevenwherehewasgoing。InthiswayhewalkedrightacrossVassilyevskyOstrov,cameoutontotheLesserNeva,crossedthebridgeandturnedtowardstheislands。Thegreennessandfreshnesswereatfirstrestfultohiswearyeyesafterthedustofthetownandthehugehousesthathemmedhiminandweigheduponhim。Heretherewerenotaverns,nostiflingcloseness,nostench。Butsoonthesenewpleasantsensationspassedintomorbidirritability。Sometimeshestoodstillbeforeabrightlypaintedsummervillastandingamonggreenfoliage,hegazedthroughthefence,hesawinthedistancesmartlydressedwomenontheverandahsandbalconies,andchildrenrunninginthegardens。Theflowersespeciallycaughthisattention;
　　hegazedatthemlongerthanatanything。Hewasmet,too,byluxuriouscarriagesandbymenandwomenonhorseback;hewatchedthemwithcuriouseyesandforgotaboutthembeforetheyhadvanishedfromhissight。Oncehestoodstillandcountedhismoney;hefoundhehadthirtycopecks。“Twentytothepoliceman,threetoNastasyafortheletter,soImusthavegivenforty-sevenorfiftytotheMarmeladovsyesterday,“hethought,reckoningitupforsomeunknownreason,buthesoonforgotwithwhatobjecthehadtakenthemoneyoutofhispocket。Herecalleditonpassinganeating-houseortavern,andfeltthathewashungry……Goingintothetavernhedrankaglassofvodkaandateapieofsomesort。Hefinishedeatingitashewalkedaway。Itwasalongwhilesincehehadtakenvodkaandithadaneffectuponhimatonce,thoughheonlydrankawine-glassful。
　　Hislegsfeltsuddenlyheavyandagreatdrowsinesscameuponhim。
　　Heturnedhomewards,butreachingPetrovskyOstrovhestoppedcompletelyexhausted,turnedofftheroadintothebushes,sankdownuponthegrassandinstantlyfellasleep。
　　Inamorbidconditionofthebrain,dreamsoftenhaveasingularactuality,vividness,andextraordinarysemblanceofreality。Attimesmonstrousimagesarecreated,butthesettingandthewholepicturearesotruthlikeandfilledwithdetailssodelicate,sounexpectedly,butsoartisticallyconsistent,thatthedreamer,wereheanartistlikePushkinorTurgeneveven,couldneverhaveinventedtheminthewakingstate。Suchsickdreamsalwaysremainlonginthememoryandmakeapowerfulimpressionontheoverwroughtandderangednervoussystem。
　　Raskolnikovhadafearfuldream。Hedreamthewasbackinhischildhoodinthelittletownofhisbirth。Hewasachildaboutsevenyearsold,walkingintothecountrywithhisfatherontheeveningofaholiday。Itwasagreyandheavyday,thecountrywasexactlyasherememberedit;indeedherecalleditfarmorevividlyinhisdreamthanhehaddoneinmemory。Thelittletownstoodonalevelflatasbareasthehand,notevenawillownearit;onlyinthefardistance,acopselay,adarkblurontheveryedgeofthehorizon。
　　Afewpacesbeyondthelastmarketgardenstoodatavern,abigtavern,whichhadalwaysarousedinhimafeelingofaversion,evenoffear,whenhewalkedbyitwithhisfather。Therewasalwaysacrowdthere,alwaysshouting,laughterandabuse,hideoushoarsesingingandoftenfighting。Drunkenandhorrible-lookingfigureswerehangingaboutthetavern。Heusedtoclingclosetohisfather,tremblingalloverwhenhemetthem。Nearthetaverntheroadbecameadustytrack,thedustofwhichwasalwaysblack。Itwasawindingroad,andaboutahundredpacesfurtheron,itturnedtotherighttothegraveyard。Inthemiddleofthegraveyardstoodastonechurchwithagreencupolawhereheusedtogotomasstwoorthreetimesayearwithhisfatherandmother,whenaservicewasheldinmemoryofhisgrandmother,whohadlongbeendead,andwhomhehadneverseen。Ontheseoccasionstheyusedtotakeonawhitedishtiedupinatablenapkinaspecialsortofricepuddingwithraisinsstuckinitintheshapeofacross。Helovedthatchurch,theold-fashioned,unadornedikonsandtheoldpriestwiththeshakinghead。Nearhisgrandmother'sgrave,whichwasmarkedbyastone,wasthelittlegraveofhisyoungerbrotherwhohaddiedatsixmonthsold。Hedidnotrememberhimatall,buthehadbeentoldabouthislittlebrother,andwheneverhevisitedthegraveyardheusedreligiouslyandreverentlytocrosshimselfandtobowdownandkissthelittlegrave。
　　Andnowhedreamtthathewaswalkingwithhisfatherpastthetavernonthewaytothegraveyard;hewasholdinghisfather'shandandlookingwithdreadatthetavern。Apeculiarcircumstanceattractedhisattention：thereseemedtobesomekindoffestivitygoingon,therewerecrowdsofgailydressedtownspeople,peasantwomen,theirhusbands,andriff-raffofallsorts,allsingingandallmoreorlessdrunk。Neartheentranceofthetavernstoodacart,butastrangecart。Itwasoneofthosebigcartsusuallydrawnbyheavycart-horsesandladenwithcasksofwineorotherheavygoods。
　　Healwayslikedlookingatthosegreatcart-horses,withtheirlongmanes,thicklegs,andslowevenpace,drawingalongaperfectmountainwithnoappearanceofeffort,asthoughitwereeasiergoingwithaloadthanwithoutit。Butnow,strangetosay,intheshaftsofsuchacarthesawathinlittlesorrelbeast,oneofthosepeasants'nagswhichhehadoftenseenstrainingtheirutmostunderaheavyloadofwoodorhay,especiallywhenthewheelswerestuckinthemudorinarut。Andthepeasantswouldbeatthemsocruelly,sometimesevenaboutthenoseandeyesandhefeltsosorry,sosorryforthemthathealmostcried,andhismotheralwaysusedtotakehimawayfromthewindow。Allofasuddentherewasagreatuproarofshouting,singingandthebalalaika,andfromthetavernanumberofbigandverydrunkenpeasantscameout,wearingredandblueshirtsandcoatsthrownovertheirshoulders。
　　“Getin,getin！”shoutedoneofthem,ayoungthick-neckedpeasantwithafleshyfaceredasacarrot。“I'lltakeyouall,getin！”
　　Butatoncetherewasanoutbreakoflaughterandexclamationsinthecrowd。
　　“Takeusallwithabeastlikethat！”
　　“Why,Mikolka,areyoucrazytoputanaglikethatinsuchacart？”
　　“Andthismareistwentyifsheisaday,mates！”
　　“Getin,I'lltakeyouall,“Mikolkashoutedagain,leapingfirstintothecart,seizingthereinsandstandingstraightupinfront。
　　“ThebayhasgonewithMarvey,“heshoutedfromthecart-“andthisbrute,mates,isjustbreakingmyheart,IfeelasifIcouldkillher。She'sjusteatingherheadoff。Getin,Itellyou!I'llmakehergallop!She'llgallop！”andhepickedupthewhip,preparinghimselfwithrelishtoflogthelittlemare。
　　“Getin!Comealong！”Thecrowdlaughed。“D'youhear,she'llgallop！”
　　“Gallopindeed!Shehasnothadagallopinherforthelasttenyears！”
　　“She'lljogalong！”
　　“Don'tyoumindher,mates,bringawhipeachofyou,getready！”
　　“Allright!Giveittoher！”
　　TheyallclamberedintoMikolka'scart,laughingandmakingjokes。
　　Sixmengotinandtherewasstillroomformore。Theyhauledinafat,rosy-cheekedwoman。Shewasdressedinredcotton,inapointed,beadedheaddressandthickleathershoes;shewascrackingnutsandlaughing。Thecrowdroundthemwaslaughingtooandindeed,howcouldtheyhelplaughing?Thatwretchednagwastodragallthecartloadofthematagallop!TwoyoungfellowsinthecartwerejustgettingwhipsreadytohelpMikolka。Withthecryof“now,“themaretuggedwithallhermight,butfarfromgalloping,couldscarcelymoveforward;shestruggledwithherlegs,gaspingandshrinkingfromtheblowsofthethreewhipswhichwereshowereduponherlikehail。Thelaughterinthecartandinthecrowdwasredoubled,butMikolkaflewintoarageandfuriouslythrashedthemare,asthoughhesupposedshereallycouldgallop。
　　“Letmegetin,too,mates,“shoutedayoungmaninthecrowdwhoseappetitewasaroused。
　　“Getin,allgetin,“criedMikolka,“shewilldrawyouall。I'llbeathertodeath！”Andhethrashedandthrashedatthemare,besidehimselfwithfury。
　　“Father,father,“hecried,“father,whataretheydoing?Father,theyarebeatingthepoorhorse！”
　　“Comealong,comealong！”saidhisfather。“Theyaredrunkenandfoolish,theyareinfun;comeaway,don'tlook！”andhetriedtodrawhimaway,buthetorehimselfawayfromhishand,and,besidehimselfwithhorror,rantothehorse。Thepoorbeastwasinabadway。Shewasgasping,standingstill,thentuggingagainandalmostfalling。
　　“Beathertodeath,“criedMikolka,“it'scometothat。I'lldoforher！”
　　“Whatareyouabout,areyouaChristian,youdevil？”shoutedanoldmaninthecrowd。
　　“Didanyoneeverseethelike?Awretchednaglikethatpullingsuchacartload,“saidanother。
　　“You'llkillher,“shoutedthethird。
　　“Don'tmeddle!It'smyproperty。I'lldowhatIchoose。Getin,moreofyou!Getin,allofyou!Iwillhavehergoatagallop!……“
　　Allatoncelaughterbrokeintoaroarandcoveredeverything：themare,rousedbytheshowerofblows,beganfeeblykicking。Eventheoldmancouldnothelpsmiling。Tothinkofawretchedlittlebeastlikethattryingtokick!
　　Twoladsinthecrowdsnatchedupwhipsandrantothemaretobeatherabouttheribs。Oneraneachside。
　　“Hitherintheface,intheeyes,intheeyes,“criedMikolka。
　　“Giveusasong,mates,“shoutedsomeoneinthecartandeveryoneinthecartjoinedinariotoussong,jinglingatambourineandwhistling。Thewomanwentoncrackingnutsandlaughing……Heranbesidethemare,raninfrontofher,sawherbeingwhippedacrosstheeyes,rightintheeyes!Hewascrying,hefeltchoking,histearswerestreaming。Oneofthemengavehimacutwiththewhipacrosstheface,hedidnotfeelit。Wringinghishandsandscreaming,herusheduptothegrey-headedoldmanwiththegreybeard,whowasshakinghisheadindisapproval。Onewomanseizedhimbythehandandwouldhavetakenhimaway,buthetorehimselffromherandranbacktothemare。Shewasalmostatthelastgasp,butbegankickingoncemore。
　　“I'llteachyoutokick,“Mikolkashoutedferociously。Hethrewdownthewhip,bentforwardandpickedupfromthebottomofthecartalong,thickshaft,hetookholdofoneendwithbothhandsandwithaneffortbrandisheditoverthemare。
　　“He'llcrushher,“wasshoutedroundhim。“He'llkillher！”
　　“It'smyproperty,“shoutedMikolkaandbroughttheshaftdownwithaswingingblow。Therewasasoundofaheavythud。
　　“Thrashher,thrashher!Whyhaveyoustopped？”shoutedvoicesinthecrowd。
　　AndMikolkaswungtheshaftasecondtimeanditfellasecondtimeonthespineofthelucklessmare。Shesankbackonherhaunches,butlurchedforwardandtuggedforwardwithallherforce,tuggedfirstononesideandthenontheother,tryingtomovethecart。
　　Butthesixwhipswereattackingherinalldirections,andtheshaftwasraisedagainandfelluponherathirdtime,thenafourth,withheavymeasuredblows。Mikolkawasinafurythathecouldnotkillheratoneblow。
　　“She'satoughone,“wasshoutedinthecrowd。
　　“She'llfallinaminute,mates,therewillsoonbeanendofher,“saidanadmiringspectatorinthecrowd。
　　“Fetchanaxetoher!Finishheroff,“shoutedathird。
　　“I'llshowyou!Standoff,“Mikolkascreamedfrantically;hethrewdowntheshaft,stoopeddowninthecartandpickedupanironcrowbar。“Lookout,“heshouted,andwithallhismighthedealtastunningblowatthepoormare。Theblowfell;themarestaggered,sankback,triedtopull,butthebarfellagainwithaswingingblowonherbackandshefellonthegroundlikealog。
　　“Finishheroff,“shoutedMikolkaandheleaptbesidehimself,outofthecart。Severalyoungmen,alsoflushedwithdrink,seizedanythingtheycouldcomeacross-whips,sticks,poles,andrantothedyingmare。Mikolkastoodononesideandbegandealingrandomblowswiththecrowbar。Themarestretchedoutherhead,drewalongbreathanddied。
　　“Youbutcheredher,“someoneshoutedinthecrowd。
　　“Whywouldn'tshegallopthen？”
　　“Myproperty！”shoutedMikolka,withbloodshoteyes,brandishingthebarinhishands。Hestoodasthoughregrettingthathehadnothingmoretobeat。
　　“Nomistakeaboutit,youarenotaChristian,“manyvoiceswereshoutinginthecrowd。
　　Butthepoorboy,besidehimself,madehiswayscreamingthroughthecrowdtothesorrelnag,puthisarmsroundherbleedingdeadheadandkissedit,kissedtheeyesandkissedthelips……ThenhejumpedupandflewinafrenzywithhislittlefistsoutatMikolka。Atthatinstanthisfatherwhohadbeenrunningafterhim,snatchedhimupandcarriedhimoutofthecrowd。
　　“Comealong,come!Letusgohome,“hesaidtohim。
　　“Father!Whydidthey……kill……thepoorhorse！”hesobbed,buthisvoicebrokeandthewordscameinshrieksfromhispantingchest。
　　“Theyaredrunk……Theyarebrutal……it'snotourbusiness！”
　　saidhisfather。Heputhisarmsroundhisfatherbuthefeltchoked,choked。Hetriedtodrawabreath,tocryout-andwokeup。
　　Hewakedup,gaspingforbreath,hishairsoakedwithperspiration,andstoodupinterror。
　　“ThankGod,thatwasonlyadream,“hesaid,sittingdownunderatreeanddrawingdeepbreaths。“Butwhatisit?Isitsomefevercomingon?Suchahideousdream！”
　　Hefeltutterlybroken;darknessandconfusionwereinhissoul。
　　Herestedhiselbowsonhiskneesandleanedhisheadonhishands。
　　“GoodGod！”hecried,“canitbe,canitbe,thatIshallreallytakeanaxe,thatIshallstrikeheronthehead,splitherskullopen……thatIshalltreadinthestickywarmblood,breakthelock,stealandtremble;hide,allspatteredintheblood……withtheaxe……GoodGod,canitbe？”
　　Hewasshakinglikealeafashesaidthis。
　　“ButwhyamIgoingonlikethis？”hecontinued,sittingupagain,asitwereinprofoundamazement。“IknewthatIcouldneverbringmyselftoit,sowhathaveIbeentorturingmyselffortillnow?
　　Yesterday,yesterday,whenIwenttomakethat……experiment,yesterdayIrealisedcompletelythatIcouldneverbeartodoit……
　　WhyamIgoingoveritagain,then?WhyamIhesitating?AsIcamedownthestairsyesterday,Isaidmyselfthatitwasbase,loathsome,vile,vile……theverythoughtofitmademefeelsickandfilledmewithhorror。
　　“No,Icouldn'tdoit,Icouldn'tdoit!Granted,grantedthatthereisnoflawinallthatreasoning,thatallthatIhaveconcludedthislastmonthisclearasday,trueasarithmetic……MyGod!AnywayIcouldn'tbringmyselftoit!Icouldn'tdoit,Icouldn'tdoit!
　　Why,whythenamIstill……？”
　　Herosetohisfeet,lookedroundinwonderasthoughsurprisedatfindinghimselfinthisplace,andwenttowardsthebridge。Hewaspale,hiseyesglowed,hewasexhaustedineverylimb,butheseemedsuddenlytobreathemoreeasily。Hefelthehadcastoffthatfearfulburdenthathadsolongbeenweighinguponhim,andallatoncetherewasasenseofreliefandpeaceinhissoul。“Lord,“heprayed,“showmemypath-Irenouncethataccursed……dreamofmine。“
　　Crossingthebridge,hegazedquietlyandcalmlyattheNeva,attheglowingredsunsettingintheglowingsky。Inspiteofhisweaknesshewasnotconsciousoffatigue。Itwasasthoughanabscessthathadbeenformingforamonthpastinhishearthadsuddenlybroken。
　　Freedom,freedom!Hewasfreefromthatspell,thatsorcery,thatobsession!
　　Lateron,whenherecalledthattimeandallthathappenedtohimduringthosedays,minutebyminute,pointbypoint,hewassuperstitiouslyimpressedbyonecircumstance,whichthoughinitselfnotveryexceptional,alwaysseemedtohimafterwardsthepredestinedturning-pointofhisfate。Hecouldneverunderstandandexplaintohimselfwhy,whenhewastiredandwornout,whenitwouldhavebeenmoreconvenientforhimtogohomebytheshortestandmostdirectway,hehadreturnedbytheHayMarketwherehehadnoneedtogo。Itwasobviouslyandquiteunnecessarilyoutofhisway,thoughnotmuchso。Itistruethatithappenedtohimdozensoftimestoreturnhomewithoutnoticingwhatstreetshepassedthrough。Butwhy,hewasalwaysaskinghimself,whyhadsuchanimportant,suchadecisiveandatthesametimesuchanabsolutelychancemeetinghappenedintheHayMarketwherehehadmoreovernoreasontogo
　　attheveryhour,theveryminuteofhislifewhenhewasjustintheverymoodandintheverycircumstancesinwhichthatmeetingwasabletoexertthegravestandmostdecisiveinfluenceonhiswholedestiny?Asthoughithadbeenlyinginwaitforhimonpurpose!
　　Itwasaboutnineo'clockwhenhecrossedtheHayMarket。Atthetablesandthebarrows,attheboothsandtheshops,allthemarketpeoplewereclosingtheirestablishmentsorclearingawayandpackinguptheirwaresand,liketheircustomers,weregoinghome。