首页 >出版文学> OUR MUTUAL FRIEND>第9章
  AnothergorgeousdinnerawaitsthemontheirreturntotheVeneeringhalls,andLadyTippinsawaitsthem,andBootsandBrewerawaitthem。Thereisamodestassertiononeverybody'spartthateverybodysingle-handed'broughthimin';butinthemainitisconcededbyall,thatthatstrokeofbusinessonBrewer'spart,ingoingdowntothehousethatnighttoseehowthingslooked,wasthemaster-stroke。
  AtouchinglittleincidentisrelatedbyMrsVeneering,inthecourseoftheevening。MrsVeneeringishabituallydisposedtobetearful,andhasanextradispositionthatwayafterherlateexcitement。Previoustowithdrawingfromthedinner-tablewithLadyTippins,shesays,inapatheticandphysicallyweakmanner:
  'Youwillallthinkitfoolishofme,Iknow,butImustmentionit。
  AsIsatbyBaby'scrib,onthenightbeforetheelection,Babywasveryuneasyinhersleep。'
  TheAnalyticalchemist,whoisgloomilylookingon,hasdiabolicalimpulsestosuggest'Wind'andthrowuphissituation;butrepressesthem。
  'Afteranintervalalmostconvulsive,Babycurledherlittlehandsinoneanotherandsmiled。'
  MrsVeneeringstoppinghere,MrPodsnapdeemsitincumbentonhimtosay:'Iwonderwhy!'
  'Coulditbe,Iaskedmyself,'saysMrsVeneering,lookingaboutherforherpocket-handkerchief,'thattheFairiesweretellingBabythatherpapawouldshortlybeanM。P。?'
  SoovercomebythesentimentisMrsVeneering,thattheyallgetuptomakeaclearstageforVeneering,whogoesroundthetabletotherescue,andbearsheroutbackward,withherfeetimpressivelyscrapingthecarpet:afterremarkingthatherworkhasbeentoomuchforherstrength。Whetherthefairiesmadeanymentionofthefivethousandpounds,anditdisagreedwithBaby,isnotspeculatedupon。
  PoorlittleTwemlow,quitedoneup,istouched。andstillcontinuestouchedafterheissafelyhousedoverthelivery-stableyardinDukeStreet,SaintJames's。Butthere,uponhissofa,atremendousconsiderationbreaksinuponthemildgentleman,puttingallsofterconsiderationstotherout。
  'Graciousheavens!NowIhavetimetothinkofit,heneversawoneofhisconstituentsinallhisdays,untilwesawthemtogether!'
  Afterhavingpacedtheroomindistressofmind,withhishandtohisforehead,theinnocentTwemlowreturnstohissofaandmoans:
  'Ishalleithergodistracted,ordie,ofthisman。Hecomesuponmetoolateinlife。Iamnotstrongenoughtobearhim!'
  Chapter4
  CUPIDPROMPTED
  Tousethecoldlanguageoftheworld,MrsAlfredLammlerapidlyimprovedtheacquaintanceofMissPodsnap。TousethewarmlanguageofMrsLammle,sheandhersweetGeorgianasoonbecameone:inheart,inmind,insentiment,insoul。
  WheneverGeorgianacouldescapefromthethraldomofPodsnappery;couldthrowoffthebedclothesofthecustard-
  colouredphaeton,andgetup;couldshrinkoutoftherangeofhermother'srocking,andsotospeakrescueherpoorlittlefrostytoesfrombeingrockedover;sherepairedtoherfriend,MrsAlfredLammle。MrsPodsnapbynomeansobjected。Asaconsciously'splendidwoman,'accustomedtooverhearherselfsodenominatedbyelderlyosteologistspursuingtheirstudiesindinnersociety,MrsPodsnapcoulddispensewithherdaughter。
  MrPodsnap,forhispart,onbeinginformedwhereGeorgianawas,swelledwithpatronageoftheLammles。Thatthey,whenunabletolayholdofhim,shouldrespectfullygraspatthehemofhismantle;thatthey,whentheycouldnotbaskinthegloryofhimthesun,shouldtakeupwiththepalereflectedlightofthewateryyoungmoonhisdaughter;appearedquitenatural,becoming,andproper。ItgavehimabetteropinionofthediscretionoftheLammlesthanhehadheretoforeheld,asshowingthattheyappreciatedthevalueoftheconnexion。So,Georgianarepairingtoherfriend,MrPodsnapwentouttodinner,andtodinner,andyettodinner,arminarmwithMrsPodsnap:settlinghisobstinateheadinhiscravatandshirt-collar,muchasifhewereperformingonthePandeanpipes,inhisownhonour,thetriumphalmarch,SeetheconqueringPodsnapcomes,Soundthetrumpets,beatthedrums!
  ItwasatraitinMrPodsnap'scharacterandinoneformorotheritwillbegenerallyseentopervadethedepthsandshallowsofPodsnappery,thathecouldnotendureahintofdisparagementofanyfriendoracquaintanceofhis。'Howdareyou?'hewouldseemtosay,insuchacase。'Whatdoyoumean?Ihavelicensedthisperson。ThispersonhastakenoutMYcertificate。Throughthispersonyoustrikeatme,PodsnaptheGreat。AnditisnotthatI
  particularlycarefortheperson'sdignity,butthatIdomostparticularlycareforPodsnap's。'Hence,ifanyoneinhispresencehadpresumedtodoubttheresponsibilityoftheLammles,hewouldhavebeenmightilyhuffed。Notthatanyonedid,forVeneering,M。P。,wasalwaystheauthorityfortheirbeingveryrich,andperhapsbelievedit。Asindeedhemight,ifhechose,foranythingheknewofthematter。
  MrandMrsLammle'shouseinSackvilleStreet,Piccadilly,wasbutatemporaryresidence。Ithasdonewellenough,theyinformedtheirfriends,forMrLammlewhenabachelor,butitwouldnotdonow。So,theywerealwayslookingatpalatialresidencesinthebestsituations,andalwaysverynearlytakingorbuyingone,butneverquiteconcludingthebargain。Herebytheymadeforthemselvesashininglittlereputationapart。Peoplesaid,onseeingavacantpalatialresidence,'TheverythingfortheLammles!'andwrotetotheLammlesaboutit,andtheLammlesalwayswenttolookatit,butunfortunatelyitneverexactlyanswered。Inshort,theysufferedsomanydisappointments,thattheybegantothinkitwouldhenecessarytobuildapalatialresidence。Andherebytheymadeanothershiningreputation;
  manypersonsoftheiracquaintancebecomingbyanticipationdissatisfiedwiththeirownhouses,andenviousofthenon-existentLammlestructure。
  ThehandsomefittingsandfurnishingsofthehouseinSackvilleStreetwerepiledthickandhighovertheskeletonup-stairs,andifiteverwhisperedfromunderitsloadofupholstery,'HereIaminthecloset!'itwastoveryfewears,andcertainlynevertoMissPodsnap's。WhatMissPodsnapwasparticularlycharmedwith,nexttothegracesofherfriend,wasthehappinessofherfriend'smarriedlife。Thiswasfrequentlytheirthemeofconversation。
  'Iamsure,'saidMissPodsnap,'MrLammleislikealover。AtleastI——Ishouldthinkhewas。'
  'Georgiana,darling!'saidMrsLammle,holdingupaforefinger,'Takecare!'
  'Ohmygoodnessme!'exclaimedMissPodsnap,reddening。'WhathaveIsaidnow?'
  'Alfred,youknow,'hintedMrsLammle,playfullyshakingherhead。'YouwerenevertosayMrLammleanymore,Georgiana。'
  'Oh!Alfred,then。Iamgladit'snoworse。IwasafraidIhadsaidsomethingshocking。Iamalwayssayingsomethingwrongtoma。'
  'Tome,Georgianadearest?'
  'No,nottoyou;youarenotma。Iwishyouwere。'
  MrsLammlebestowedasweetandlovingsmileuponherfriend,whichMissPodsnapreturnedasshebestcould。TheysatatlunchinMrsLammle'sownboudoir。
  'Andso,dearestGeorgiana,Alfredislikeyournotionofalover?'
  'Idon'tsaythat,Sophronia,'Georgianareplied,beginningtoconcealherelbows。'Ihaven'tanynotionofalover。Thedreadfulwretchesthatmabringsupatplacestotormentme,arenotlovers。
  IonlymeanthatMr——'
  'Again,dearestGeorgiana?'
  'ThatAlfred——'
  'Soundsmuchbetter,darling。'
  '——Lovesyouso。Healwaystreatsyouwithsuchdelicategallantryandattention。Now,don'the?'
  'Truly,mydear,'saidMrsLammle,witharathersingularexpressioncrossingherface。'Ibelievethathelovesme,fullyasmuchasIlovehim。'
  'Oh,whathappiness!'exclaimedMissPodsnap。
  'Butdoyouknow,myGeorgiana,'MrsLammleresumedpresently,'thatthereissomethingsuspiciousinyourenthusiasticsympathywithAlfred'stenderness?'
  'Goodgraciousno,Ihopenot!'
  'Doesn'titrathersuggest,'saidMrsLammlearchly,'thatmyGeorgiana'slittleheartis——'
  'Ohdon't!'MissPodsnapblushinglybesoughther。'Pleasedon't!
  Iassureyou,Sophronia,thatIonlypraiseAlfred,becauseheisyourhusbandandsofondofyou。'
  Sophronia'sglancewasasifarathernewlightbrokeinuponher。
  Itshadedoffintoacoolsmile,asshesaid,withhereyesuponherlunch,andhereyebrowsraised:
  'Youarequitewrong,mylove,inyourguessatmymeaning。
  WhatIinsinuatedwas,thatmyGeorgiana'slittleheartwasgrowingconsciousofavacancy。'
  'No,no,no,'saidGeorgiana。'Iwouldn'thaveanybodysayanythingtomeinthatwayforIdon'tknowhowmanythousandpounds。'
  'Inwhatway,myGeorgiana?'inquiredMrsLammle,stillsmilingcoollywithhereyesuponherlunch,andhereyebrowsraised。
  'YOUknow,'returnedpoorlittleMissPodsnap。'IthinkIshouldgooutofmymind,Sophronia,withvexationandshynessanddetestation,ifanybodydid。It'senoughformetoseehowlovingyouandyourhusbandare。That'sadifferentthing。Icouldn'tbeartohaveanythingofthatsortgoingonwithmyself。Ishouldbegandprayto——tohavethepersontakenawayandtrampledupon。'
  Ah!herewasAlfred。Havingstoleninunobserved,heplayfullyleanedonthebackofSophronia'schair,and,asMissPodsnapsawhim,putoneofSophronia'swanderinglockstohislips,andwavedakissfromittowardsMissPodsnap。
  'Whatisthisabouthusbandsanddetestations?'inquiredthecaptivatingAlfred。
  'Why,theysay,'returnedhiswife,'thatlistenersneverhearanygoodofthemselves;thoughyou——butprayhowlonghaveyoubeenhere,sir?'
  'Thisinstantarrived,myown。'
  'ThenImaygoon——thoughifyouhadbeenherebutamomentortwosooner,youwouldhaveheardyourpraisessoundedbyGeorgiana。'
  'Only,iftheyweretobecalledpraisesatallwhichIreallydon'tthinktheywere,'explainedMissPodsnapinaflutter,'forbeingsodevotedtoSophronia。'
  'Sophronia!'murmuredAlfred。'Mylife!'andkissedherhand。Inreturnforwhichshekissedhiswatch-chain。
  'ButitwasnotIwhowastobetakenawayandtrampledupon,I
  hope?'saidAlfred,drawingaseatbetweenthem。
  'AskGeorgiana,mysoul,'repliedhiswife。
  AlfredtouchinglyappealedtoGeorgiana。
  'Oh,itwasnobody,'repliedMissPodsnap。'Itwasnonsense。'
  'Butifyouaredeterminedtoknow,MrInquisitivePet,asI
  supposeyouare,'saidthehappyandfondSophronia,smiling,'itwasanyonewhoshouldventuretoaspiretoGeorgiana。'
  'Sophronia,mylove,'remonstratedMrLammle,becominggraver,'youarenotserious?'
  'Alfred,mylove,'returnedhiswife,'IdaresayGeorgianawasnot,butIam。'
  'Nowthis,'saidMrLammle,'showstheaccidentalcombinationsthatthereareinthings!Couldyoubelieve,myOwnest,thatI
  cameinherewiththenameofanaspiranttoourGeorgianaonmylips?'
  'OfcourseIcouldbelieve,Alfred,'saidMrsLammle,'anythingthatYOUtoldme。'
  'Youdearone!AndIanythingthatYOUtoldme。'
  Howdelightfulthoseinterchanges,andthelooksaccompanyingthem!Now,iftheskeletonup-stairshadtakenthatopportunity,forinstance,ofcallingout'HereIam,suffocatinginthecloset!'
  'Igiveyoumyhonour,mydearSophronia——'
  'AndIknowwhatthatis,love,'saidshe。
  'Youdo,mydarling——thatIcameintotheroomallbututteringyoungFledgeby'sname。TellGeorgiana,dearest,aboutyoungFledgeby。'
  'Ohno,don't!Pleasedon't!'criedMissPodsnap,puttingherfingersinherears。'I'drathernot。'
  MrsLammlelaughedinhergayestmanner,and,removingherGeorgiana'sunresistinghands,andplayfullyholdingtheminherownatarms'length,sometimesneartogetherandsometimeswideapart,wenton:
  'Youmustknow,youdearlybelovedlittlegoose,thatonceuponatimetherewasacertainpersoncalledyoungFledgeby。AndthisyoungFledgeby,whowasofanexcellentfamilyandrich,wasknowntotwoothercertainpersons,dearlyattachedtooneanotherandcalledMrandMrsAlfredLammle。SothisyoungFledgeby,beingonenightattheplay,thereseeswithMrandMrsAlfredLammle,acertainheroinecalled——'
  'No,don'tsayGeorgianaPodsnap!'pleadedthatyoungladyalmostintears。'Pleasedon't。Ohdododosaysomebodyelse!
  NotGeorgianaPodsnap。Ohdon't,don't,don't!'
  'Noother,'saidMrsLammle,laughingairily,and,fullofaffectionateblandishments,openingandclosingGeorgiana'sarmslikeapairofcompasses,thanmylittleGeorgianaPodsnap。SothisyoungFledgebygoestothatAlfredLammleandsays——'
  'Ohple-e-e-easedon't!'Georgiana,asifthesupplicationwerebeingsqueezedoutofherbypowerfulcompression。'Isohatehimforsayingit!'
  'Forsayingwhat,mydear?'laughedMrsLammle。
  'Oh,Idon'tknowwhathesaid,'criedGeorgianawildly,'butIhatehimallthesameforsayingit。'
  'Mydear,'saidMrsLammle,alwayslaughinginhermostcaptivatingway,'thepooryoungfellowonlysaysthatheisstrickenallofaheap。'
  'Oh,whatshallIeverdo!'interposedGeorgiana。'OhmygoodnesswhataFoolhemustbe!'
  '——Andimplorestobeaskedtodinner,andtomakeafourthattheplayanothertime。Andsohedinesto-morrowandgoestotheOperawithus。That'sall。Except,mydearGeorgiana——andwhatwillyouthinkofthis!——thatheisinfinitelyshyerthanyou,andfarmoreafraidofyouthanyoueverwereofanyoneinallyourdays!'
  InperturbationofmindMissPodsnapstillfumedandpluckedatherhandsalittle,butcouldnothelplaughingatthenotionofanybody'sbeingafraidofher。Withthatadvantage,Sophroniaflatteredherandralliedhermoresuccessfully,andthentheinsinuatingAlfredflatteredherandralliedher,andpromisedthatatanymomentwhenshemightrequirethatserviceathishands,hewouldtakeyoungFledgebyoutandtrampleonhim。ThusitremainedamicablyunderstoodthatyoungFledgebywastocometoadmire,andthatGeorgianawastocometobeadmired;andGeorgianawiththeentirelynewsensationinherbreastofhavingthatprospectbeforeher,andwithmanykissesfromherdearSophroniainpresentpossession,precededsixfeetoneofdiscontentedfootmananamountofthearticlethatalwayscameforherwhenshewalkedhometoherfather'sdwelling。
  Thehappypairbeinglefttogether,MrsLammlesaidtoherhusband:
  'IfIunderstandthisgirl,sir,yourdangerousfascinationshaveproducedsomeeffectuponher。ImentiontheconquestingoodtimebecauseIapprehendyourschemetobemoreimportanttoyouthanyourvanity。'
  Therewasamirroronthewallbeforethem,andhereyesjustcaughthimsmirkinginit。Shegavethereflectedimagealookofthedeepestdisdain,andtheimagereceiveditintheglass。Nextmomenttheyquietlyeyedeachother,asifthey,theprincipals,hadhadnopartinthatexpressivetransaction。
  ItmayhavebeenthatMrsLammletriedinsomemannertoexcuseherconducttoherselfbydepreciatingthepoorlittlevictimofwhomshespokewithacrimoniouscontempt。Itmayhavebeentoothatinthisshedidnotquitesucceed,foritisverydifficulttoresistconfidence,andsheknewshehadGeorgiana's。
  Nothingmorewassaidbetweenthehappypair。Perhapsconspiratorswhohaveonceestablishedanunderstanding,maynotbeover-fondofrepeatingthetermsandobjectsoftheirconspiracy。Nextdaycame;cameGeorgiana;andcameFledgeby。
  Georgianahadbythistimeseenagooddealofthehouseanditsfrequenters。Astherewasacertainhandsomeroomwithabilliardtableinit——onthegroundfloor,eatingoutabackyard——whichmighthavebeenMrLammle'soffice,orlibrary,butwascalledbyneithername,butsimplyMrLammle'sroom,soitwouldhavebeenhardforstrongerfemaleheadsthanGeorgiana'stodeterminewhetheritsfrequentersweremenofpleasureormenofbusiness。
  Betweentheroomandthementherewerestrongpointsofgeneralresemblance。Bothweretoogaudy,tooslangey,tooodorousofcigars,andtoomuchgiventohorseflesh;thelattercharacteristicbeingexemplifiedintheroombyitsdecorations,andinthemenbytheirconversation。High-steppinghorsesseemednecessarytoallMrLammle'sfriends——asnecessaryastheirtransactionofbusinesstogetherinagipsywayatuntimelyhoursofthemorningandevening,andinrushesandsnatches。
  TherewerefriendswhoseemedtobealwayscomingandgoingacrosstheChannel,onerrandsabouttheBourse,andGreekandSpanishandIndiaandMexicanandparandpremiumanddiscountandthreequartersandseveneighths。TherewereotherfriendswhoseemedtobealwayslollingandlounginginandoutoftheCity,onquestionsoftheBourse,andGreekandSpanishandIndiaandMexicanandparandpremiumanddiscountandthreequartersandseveneighths。Theywereallfeverish,boastful,andindefinablyloose;andtheyallateanddrankagreatdeal;andmadebetsineatinganddrinking。Theyallspokeofsumsofmoney,andonlymentionedthesumsandleftthemoneytobeunderstood;as'fiveandfortythousandTom,'or'Twohundredandtwenty-twooneveryindividualshareinthelotJoe。'Theyseemedtodividetheworldintotwoclassesofpeople;peoplewhoweremakingenormousfortunes,andpeoplewhowerebeingenormouslyruined。Theywerealwaysinahurry,andyetseemedtohavenothingtangibletodo;exceptafewofthemthese,mostlyasthmaticandthick-lippedwhowereforeverdemonstratingtotherest,withgoldpencil-caseswhichtheycouldhardlyholdbecauseofthebigringsontheirforefingers,howmoneywastobemade。Lastly,theyallsworeattheirgrooms,andthegroomswerenotquiteasrespectfulorcompleteasothermen'sgrooms;seemingsomehowtofallshortofthegroompointastheirmastersfellshortofthegentlemanpoint。
  YoungFledgebywasnoneofthese。YoungFledgebyhadapeachycheek,oracheekcompoundedofthepeachandtheredredredwallonwhichitgrows,andwasanawkward,sandy-
  haired,small-eyedyouth,exceedingslimhisenemieswouldhavesaidlanky,andpronetoself-examinationinthearticlesofwhiskerandmoustache。Whilefeelingforthewhiskerthatheanxiouslyexpected,Fledgebyunderwentremarkablefluctuationsofspirits,rangingalongthewholescalefromconfidencetodespair。Thereweretimeswhenhestarted,asexclaiming'ByJupiterhereitisatlast!'Therewereothertimeswhen,beingequallydepressed,hewouldbeseentoshakehishead,andgiveuphope。Toseehimatthoseperiodsleaningonachimneypiece,likeasonanurncontainingtheashesofhisambition,withthecheekthatwouldnotsprout,uponthehandonwhichthatcheekhadforcedconviction,wasadistressingsight。
  NotsowasFledgebyseenonthisoccasion。Arrayedinsuperbraiment,withhisoperahatunderhisarm,heconcludedhisself-
  examinationhopefully,awaitedthearrivalofMissPodsnap,andtalkedsmall-talkwithMrsLammle。Infacetioushomagetothesmallnessofhistalk,andthejerkynatureofhismanners,Fledgeby'sfamiliarshadagreedtoconferuponhimbehindhisbackthehonorarytitleofFascinationFledgeby。
  'Warmweather,MrsLammle,'saidFascinationFledgeby。MrsLammlethoughtitscarcelyaswarmasithadbeenyesterday。
  'Perhapsnot,'saidFascinationFledgeby,withgreatquicknessofrepartee;'butIexpectitwillbedevilishwarmto-morrow。'
  Hethrewoffanotherlittlescintillation。'Beenoutto-day,MrsLammle?'
  MrsLammleanswered,forashortdrive。
  'Somepeople,'saidFascinationFledgeby,'areaccustomedtotakelongdrives;butitgenerallyappearstomethatiftheymake'emtoolong,theyoverdoit。'
  Beinginsuchfeather,hemighthavesurpassedhimselfinhisnextsally,hadnotMissPodsnapbeenannounced。MrsLammleflewtoembraceherdarlinglittleGeorgy,andwhenthefirsttransportswereover,presentedMrFledgeby。MrLammlecameonthescenelast,forhewasalwayslate,andsowerethefrequentersalwayslate;allhandsbeingboundtobemadelate,byprivateinformationabouttheBourse,andGreekandSpanishandIndiaandMexicanandparandpremiumanddiscountandthreequartersandseveneighths。
  Ahandsomelittledinnerwasservedimmediately,andMrLammlesatsparklingathisendofthetable,withhisservantbehindhischair,andHISever-lingeringdoubtsuponthesubjectofhiswagesbehindhimself。MrLammle'sutmostpowersofsparklingwereinrequisitionto-day,forFascinationFledgebyandGeorgiananotonlystruckeachotherspeechless,butstruckeachotherintoastonishingattitudes;Georgiana,asshesatfacingFledgeby,makingsucheffortstoconcealherelbowsasweretotallyincompatiblewiththeuseofaknifeandfork;andFledgeby,ashesatfacingGeorgiana,avoidinghercountenancebyeverypossibledevice,andbetrayingthediscomposureofhismindinfeelingforhiswhiskerswithhisspoon,hiswineglass,andhisbread。
  So,MrandMrsAlfredLammlehadtoprompt,andthisishowtheyprompted。
  'Georgiana,'saidMrLammle,lowandsmiling,andsparklingallover,likeaharlequin;'youarenotinyourusualspirits。Whyareyounotinyourusualspirits,Georgiana?'
  Georgianafalteredthatshewasmuchthesameasshewasingeneral;shewasnotawareofbeingdifferent。
  'Notawareofbeingdifferent!'retortedMrAlfredLammle。'You,mydearGeorgiana!Whoarealwayssonaturalandunconstrainedwithus!Whoaresucharelieffromthecrowdthatareallalike!Whoaretheembodimentofgentleness,simplicity,andreality!'
  MissPodsnaplookedatthedoor,asifsheentertainedconfusedthoughtsoftakingrefugefromthesecomplimentsinflight。
  'Now,Iwillbejudged,'saidMrLammle,raisinghisvoicealittle,'bymyfriendFledgeby。'
  'OhDON'T!'MissPodsnapfaintlyejaculated:whenMrsLammletooktheprompt-book。
  'Ibegyourpardon,Alfred,mydear,butIcannotpartwithMrFledgebyquiteyet;youmustwaitforhimamoment。MrFledgebyandIareengagedinapersonaldiscussion。'
  Fledgebymusthaveconducteditonhissidewithimmenseart,fornoappearanceofutteringonesyllablehadescapedhim。
  'Apersonaldiscussion,Sophronia,mylove?Whatdiscussion?
  Fledgeby,Iamjealous。Whatdiscussion,Fledgeby?'
  'ShallItellhim,MrFledgeby?'askedMrsLammle。
  Tryingtolookasifheknewanythingaboutit,Fascinationreplied,'Yes,tellhim。'
  'Wewerediscussingthen,'saidMrsLammle,'ifyouMUSTknow,Alfred,whetherMrFledgebywasinhisusualflowofspirits。'
  'Why,thatistheverypoint,Sophronia,thatGeorgianaandIwerediscussingastoherself!WhatdidFledgebysay?'
  'Oh,alikelything,sir,thatIamgoingtotellyoueverything,andbetoldnothing!WhatdidGeorgianasay?'
  'Georgianasaidshewasdoingherusualjusticetoherselfto-day,andIsaidshewasnot。'
  'Precisely,'exclaimedMrsLammle,'whatIsaidtoMrFledgeby。'
  Still,itwouldn'tdo。Theywouldnotlookatoneanother。No,notevenwhenthesparklinghostproposedthatthequartetteshouldtakeanappropriatelysparklingglassofwine。GeorgianalookedfromherwineglassatMrLammleandatMrsLammle;butmightn't,couldn't,shouldn't,wouldn't,lookatMrFledgeby。
  FascinationlookedfromhiswineglassatMrsLammleandatMrLammle;butmightn't,couldn't,shouldn't,wouldn't,lookatGeorgiana。
  Morepromptingwasnecessary。Cupidmustbebroughtuptothemark。Themanagerhadputhimdowninthebillforthepart,andhemustplayit。
  'Sophronia,mydear,'saidMrLammle,'Idon'tlikethecolourofyourdress。'
  'Iappeal,'saidMrsLammle,'toMrFledgeby。'
  'AndI,'saidMrLammle,'toGeorgiana。'
  'Georgy,mylove,'remarkedMrsLammleasidetoherdeargirl,'I
  relyuponyounottogoovertotheopposition。Now,MrFledgeby。'
  Fascinationwishedtoknowifthecolourwerenotcalledrose-
  colour?Yes,saidMrLammle;actuallyhekneweverything;itwasreallyrose-colour。Fascinationtookrose-colourtomeanthecolourofroses。InthishewasverywarmlysupportedbyMrandMrsLammle。FascinationhadheardthetermQueenofFlowersappliedtotheRose。Similarly,itmightbesaidthatthedresswastheQueenofDresses。'Veryhappy,Fledgeby!'fromMrLammle。Notwithstanding,Fascination'sopinionwasthatweallhadoureyes——oratleastalargemajorityofus——andthat——and——andhisfartheropinionwasseveralands,withnothingbeyondthem。
  'Oh,MrFledgeby,'saidMrsLammle,'todesertmeinthatway!
  Oh,MrFledgeby,toabandonmypoordearinjuredroseanddeclareforblue!'
  'Victory,victory!'criedMrLammle;'yourdressiscondemned,mydear。'
  'Butwhat,'saidMrsLammle,stealingheraffectionatehandtowardsherdeargirl's,'whatdoesGeorgysay?'
  'Shesays,'repliedMrLammle,interpretingforher,'thatinhereyesyoulookwellinanycolour,Sophronia,andthatifshehadexpectedtobeembarrassedbysoprettyacomplimentasshehasreceived,shewouldhavewornanothercolourherself。ThoughI
  tellher,inreply,thatitwouldnothavesavedher,forwhatevercolourshehadwornwouldhavebeenFledgeby'scolour。ButwhatdoesFledgebysay?'
  'Hesays,'repliedMrsLammle,interpretingforhim,andpattingthebackofherdeargirl'shand,asifitwereFledgebywhowaspattingit,'thatitwasnocompliment,butalittlenaturalactofhomagethathecouldn'tresist。And,'expressingmorefeelingasifitweremorefeelingonthepartofFledgeby,'heisright,heisright!'
  Still,nonotevennow,wouldtheylookatoneanother。Seemingtognashhissparklingteeth,studs,eyes,andbuttons,allatonce,MrLammlesecretlybentadarkfrownonthetwo,expressiveofanintensedesiretobringthemtogetherbyknockingtheirheadstogether。
  'Haveyouheardthisoperaofto-night,Fledgeby?'heasked,stoppingveryshort,topreventhimselffromrunningoninto'confoundyou。'
  'Whyno,notexactly,'saidFledgeby。'InfactIdon'tknowanoteofit。'
  'Neitherdoyouknowit,Georgy?'saidMrsLammle。'N-no,'
  repliedGeorgiana,faintly,underthesympatheticcoincidence。
  'Why,then,'saidMrsLammle,charmedbythediscoverywhichflowedfromthepremises,'youneitherofyouknowit!Howcharming!'
  EventhecravenFledgebyfeltthatthetimewasnowcomewhenhemuststrikeablow。Hestruckitbysaying,partlytoMrsLammleandpartlytothecircumambientair,'Iconsidermyselfveryfortunateinbeingreservedby——'
  Ashestoppeddead,MrLammle,makingthatgingerousbushofhiswhiskerstolookoutof,offeredhimtheword'Destiny。'
  'No,Iwasn'tgoingtosaythat,'saidFledgeby。'IwasgoingtosayFate。IconsideritveryfortunatethatFatehaswritteninthebookof——inthebookwhichisitsownproperty——thatIshouldgotothatoperaforthefirsttimeunderthememorablecircumstancesofgoingwithMissPodsnap。'
  TowhichGeorgianareplied,hookinghertwolittlefingersinoneanother,andaddressingthetablecloth,'Thankyou,butIgenerallygowithnoonebutyou,Sophronia,andIlikethatverymuch。'
  Contentperforcewiththissuccessforthetime,MrLammleletMissPodsnapoutoftheroom,asifhewereopeninghercagedoor,andMrsLammlefollowed。Coffeebeingpresentlyservedupstairs,hekeptawatchonFledgebyuntilMissPodsnap'scupwasempty,andthendirectedhimwithhisfingerasifthatyounggentlemanwereaslowRetrievertogoandfetchit。Thisfeatheperformed,notonlywithoutfailure,butevenwiththeoriginalembellishmentofinformingMissPodsnapthatgreenteawasconsideredbadforthenerves。ThoughthereMissPodsnapunintentionallythrewhimoutbyfaltering,'Oh,isitindeed?Howdoesitact?'Whichhewasnotpreparedtoelucidate。
  Thecarriageannounced,MrsLammlesaid;'Don'tmindme,MrFledgeby,myskirtsandcloakoccupybothmyhands,takeMissPodsnap。'Andhetookher,andMrsLammlewentnext,andMrLammlewentlast,savagelyfollowinghislittleflock,likeadrover。
  ButhewasallsparkleandglitterintheboxattheOpera,andthereheandhisdearwifemadeaconversationbetweenFledgebyandGeorgianainthefollowingingeniousandskilfulmanner。
  Theysatinthisorder:MrsLammle,FascinationFledgeby,Georgiana,MrLammle。MrsLammlemadeleadingremarkstoFledgeby,onlyrequiringmonosyllabicreplies。MrLammledidthelikewithGeorgiana。AttimesMrsLammlewouldleanforwardtoaddressMrLammletothispurpose。
  'Alfred,mydear,MrFledgebyveryjustlysays,aproposofthelastscene,thattrueconstancywouldnotrequireanysuchstimulantasthestagedeemsnecessary。'TowhichMrLammlewouldreply,'Ay,Sophronia,mylove,butasGeorgianahasobservedtome,theladyhadnosufficientreasontoknowthestateofthegentleman'saffections。'TowhichMrsLammlewouldrejoin,'Verytrue,Alfred;butMrFledgebypointsout,'this。TowhichAlfredwoulddemur:'Undoubtedly,Sophronia,butGeorgianaacutelyremarks,'
  that。Throughthisdevicethetwoyoungpeopleconversedatgreatlengthandcommittedthemselvestoavarietyofdelicatesentiments,withouthavingonceopenedtheirlips,savetosayyesorno,andeventhatnottooneanother。
  FledgebytookhisleaveofMissPodsnapatthecarriagedoor,andtheLammlesdroppedheratherownhome,andonthewayMrsLammlearchlyralliedher,inherfondandprotectingmanner,bysayingatintervals,'OhlittleGeorgiana,littleGeorgiana!'Whichwasnotmuch;butthetoneadded,'YouhaveenslavedyourFledgeby。'
  AndthustheLammlesgothomeatlast,andtheladysatdownmoodyandweary,lookingatherdarklordengagedinadeedofviolencewithabottleofsoda-waterasthoughhewerewringingtheneckofsomeunluckycreatureandpouringitsblooddownhisthroat。Ashewipedhisdrippingwhiskersinanogreishway,hemethereyes,andpausing,said,withnoverygentlevoice:
  'Well?'
  'WassuchanabsoluteBoobynecessarytothepurpose?'
  'IknowwhatIamdoing。Heisnosuchdoltasyousuppose。'
  'Agenius,perhaps?'
  'Yousneer,perhaps;andyoutakealoftyairuponyourselfperhaps!ButItellyouthis:——whenthatyoungfellow'sinterestisconcerned,heholdsastightasahorse-leech。Whenmoneyisinquestionwiththatyoungfellow,heisamatchfortheDevil。'
  'Isheamatchforyou?'
  'Heis。Almostasgoodaoneasyouthoughtmeforyou。Hehasnoqualityofyouthinhim,butsuchasyouhaveseento-day。
  Touchhimuponmoney,andyoutouchnoboobythen。Hereallyisadolt,Isuppose,inotherthings;butitanswershisonepurposeverywell。'
  'Hasshemoneyinherownrightinanycase?'
  'Ay!shehasmoneyinherownrightinanycase。Youhavedonesowellto-day,Sophronia,thatIanswerthequestion,thoughyouknowIobjecttoanysuchquestions。Youhavedonesowellto-
  day,Sophronia,thatyoumustbetired。Gettobed。'
  Chapter5
  MERCURYPROMPTING
  FledgebydeservedMrAlfredLammle'seulogium。Hewasthemeanestcurexisting,withasinglepairoflegs。Andinstinctawordweallclearlyunderstandgoinglargelyonfourlegs,andreasonalwaysontwo,meannessonfourlegsneverattainstheperfectionofmeannessontwo。
  Thefatherofthisyounggentlemanhadbeenamoney-lender,whohadtransactedprofessionalbusinesswiththemotherofthisyounggentleman,whenhe,thelatter,waswaitinginthevastdarkante-
  chambersofthepresentworldtobeborn。Thelady,awidow,beingunabletopaythemoney-lender,marriedhim;andinduecourse,Fledgebywassummonedoutofthevastdarkante-
  chamberstocomeandbepresentedtotheRegistrar-General。
  RatheracuriousspeculationhowFledgehywouldotherwisehavedisposedofhisleisureuntilDoomsday。
  Fledgeby'smotheroffendedherfamilybymarryingFledgeby'sfather。Itisoneoftheeasiestachievementsinlifetooffendyourfamilywhenyourfamilywanttogetridofyou。Fledgeby'smother'sfamilyhadbeenverymuchoffendedwithherforbeingpoor,andbrokewithherforbecomingcomparativelyrich。
  Fledgeby'smother'sfamilywastheSnigsworthfamily。ShehadeventhehighhonourtobecousintoLordSnigsworth——somanytimesremovedthatthenobleEarlwouldhavehadnocompunctioninremovingheronetimemoreanddroppinghercleanoutsidethecousinlypale;butcousinforallthat。
  Amongherpre-matrimonialtransactionswithFledgeby'sfather,Fledgeby'smotherhadraisedmoneyofhimatagreatdisadvantageonacertainreversionaryinterest。Thereversionfallinginsoonaftertheyweremarried,Fledgeby'sfatherlaidholdofthecashforhisseparateuseandbenefit。Thisledtosubjectivedifferencesofopinion,nottosayobjectiveinterchangesofboot-
  jacks,backgammonboards,andothersuchdomesticmissiles,betweenFledgeby'sfatherandFledgeby'smother,andthoseledtoFledgeby'smotherspendingasmuchmoneyasshecould,andtoFledgeby'sfatherdoingallhecouldn'ttorestrainher。Fledgeby'schildhoodhadbeen,inconsequence,astormyone;butthewindsandthewaveshadgonedowninthegrave,andFledgebyflourishedalone。
  HelivedinchambersintheAlbany,didFledgeby,andmaintainedaspruceappearance。Buthisyouthfulfirewasallcomposedofsparksfromthegrindstone;andasthesparksflewoff,wentout,andneverwarmedanything,besurethatFledgebyhadhistoolsatthegrindstone,andturneditwithawaryeye。
  MrAlfredLammlecameroundtotheAlbanytobreakfastwithFledgeby。Presentonthetable,onescantypotoftea,onescantyloaf,twoscantypatsofbutter,twoscantyrashersofbacon,twopitifuleggs,andanabundanceofhandsomechinaboughtasecondhandbargain。
  'WhatdidyouthinkofGeorgiana?'askedMrLammle。
  'Why,I'lltellyou,'saidFledgeby,verydeliberately。
  'Do,myboy。'
  'Youmisunderstandme,'saidFledgeby。'Idon'tmeanI'lltellyouthat。ImeanI'lltellyousomethingelse。'
  'Tellmeanything,oldfellow!'
  'Ah,butthereyoumisunderstandmeagain,'saidFledgeby。'I
  meanI'lltellyounothing。'
  MrLammlesparkledathim,butfrownedathimtoo。
  'Lookhere,'saidFledgeby。'You'redeepandyou'reready。
  WhetherIamdeepornot,nevermind。Iamnotready。ButIcandoonething,Lammle,Icanholdmytongue。AndIintendalwaysdoingit。'
  'Youarealong-headedfellow,Fledgeby。'
  'Maybe,ormaynotbe。IfIamashort-tonguedfellow,itmayamounttothesamething。Now,Lammle,Iamnevergoingtoanswerquestions。'
  'Mydearfellow,itwasthesimplestquestionintheworld。'
  'Nevermind。Itseemedso,butthingsarenotalwayswhattheyseem。IsawamanexaminedasawitnessinWestminsterHall。
  Questionsputtohimseemedthesimplestintheworld,butturnedouttobeanythingratherthanthat,afterhehadanswered'em。
  Verywell。Thenheshouldhaveheldhistongue。Ifhehadheldhistonguehewouldhavekeptoutofscrapesthathegotinto。'
  'IfIhadheldmytongue,youwouldneverhaveseenthesubjectofmyquestion,'remarkedLammle,darkening。
  'Now,Lammle,'saidFascinationFledgeby,calmlyfeelingforhiswhisker,'itwon'tdo。Iwon'tbeledonintoadiscussion。Ican'tmanageadiscussion。ButIcanmanagetoholdmytongue。'
  'Can?'MrLammiefellbackuponpropitiation。'Ishouldthinkyoucould!Why,whenthesefellowsofouracquaintancedrinkandyoudrinkwiththem,themoretalkativetheyget,themoresilentyouget。Themoretheyletout,themoreyoukeepin。'
  'Idon'tobject,Lammle,'returnedFledgeby,withaninternalchuckle,'tobeingunderstood,thoughIobjecttobeingquestioned。
  ThatcertainlyISthewayIdoit。'
  'Andwhenalltherestofusarediscussingourventures,noneofuseverknowwhatasingleventureofyoursis!'
  'Andnoneofyoueverwillfromme,Lammle,'repliedFledgeby,withanotherinternalchuckle;'thatcertainlyISthewayIdoit。'
  'Whyofcourseitis,Iknow!'rejoinedLammle,withaflourishoffrankness,andalaugh,andstretchingouthishandsasiftoshowtheuniversearemarkablemaninFledgeby。'IfIhadn'tknownitofmyFledgeby,shouldIhaveproposedourlittlecompactofadvantage,tomyFledgeby?'
  'Ah!'remarkedFascination,shakinghisheadslyly。'ButIamnottobegotatinthatway。Iamnotvain。Thatsortofvanitydon'tpay,Lammle。No,no,no。Complimentsonlymakemeholdmytonguethemore。'
  AlfredLammlepushedhisplateawaynogreatsacrificeunderthecircumstancesoftherebeingsolittleinit,thrusthishandsinhispockets,leanedbackinhischair,andcontemplatedFledgebyinsilence。Thenheslowlyreleasedhislefthandfromitspocket,andmadethatbushofhiswhiskers,stillcontemplatinghiminsilence。Thenheslowlybrokesilence,andslowlysaid:'What——
  the——Dev-ilisthisfellowaboutthismorning?'
  'Now,lookhere,Lammle,'saidFascinationFledgeby,withthemeanestoftwinklesinhismeanestofeyes:whichweretooneartogether,bytheway:'lookhere,Lammle;IamverywellawarethatIdidn'tshowtoadvantagelastnight,andthatyouandyourwife——who,Iconsider,isaverycleverwomanandanagreeablewoman——did。Iamnotcalculatedtoshowtoadvantageunderthatsortofcircumstances。Iknowverywellyoutwodidshowtoadvantage,andmanagedcapitally。Butdon'tyouonthataccountcometalkingtomeasifIwasyourdollandpuppet,becauseIamnot。
  'Andallthis,'criedAlfred,afterstudyingwithalookthemeannessthatwasfaintohavethemeanesthelp,andyetwassomeanastoturnuponit:'allthisbecauseofonesimplenaturalquestion!'
  'YoushouldhavewaitedtillIthoughtpropertosaysomethingaboutitofmyself。Idon'tlikeyourcomingovermewithyourGeorgianas,asifyouwasherproprietorandminetoo。'
  'Well,whenyouareinthegraciousmindtosayanythingaboutitofyourself,'retortedLammle,'praydo。'
  'Ihavedoneit。Ihavesaidyoumanagedcapitally。Youandyourwifeboth。Ifyou'llgoonmanagingcapitally,I'llgoondoingmypart。Onlydon'tcrow。'
  'Icrow!'exclaimedLammle,shrugginghisshoulders。
  'Or,'pursuedtheother——'ortakeitinyourheadthatpeopleareyourpuppetsbecausetheydon'tcomeouttoadvantageattheparticularmomentswhenyoudo,withtheassistanceofaverycleverandagreeablewife。Alltherestkeepondoing,andletMrsLammlekeepondoing。Now,IhaveheldmytonguewhenI
  thoughtproper,andIhavespokenwhenIthoughtproper,andthere'sanendofthat。Andnowthequestionis,'proceededFledgeby,withthegreatestreluctance,'willyouhaveanotheregg?'
  'No,Iwon't,'saidLammle,shortly。
  'Perhapsyou'rerightandwillfindyourselfbetterwithoutit,'
  repliedFascination,ingreatlyimprovedspirits。'Toaskyouifyou'llhaveanotherrasherwouldbeunmeaningflattery,foritwouldmakeyouthirstyallday。Willyouhavesomemorebreadandbutter?'
  'No,Iwon't,'repeatedLammle。
  'ThenIwill,'saidFascination。Anditwasnotamereretortforthesound'ssake,butwasacheerfulcogentconsequenceoftherefusal;forifLammlehadappliedhimselfagaintotheloaf,itwouldhavebeensoheavilyvisited,inFledgeby'sopinion,astodemandabstinencefrombread,onhispart,fortheremainderofthatmealatleast,ifnotforthewholeofthenext。
  Whetherthisyounggentlemanforhewasbutthree-and-twenty
  combinedwiththemiserlyviceofanoldman,anyoftheopen-
  handedvicesofayoungone,wasamootpoint;soveryhonourablydidhekeephisowncounsel。Hewassensibleofthevalueofappearancesasaninvestment,andlikedtodresswell;buthedroveabargainforeverymoveableabouthim,fromthecoatonhisbacktothechinaonhisbreakfast-table;andeverybargainbyrepresentingsomebody'sruinorsomebody'sloss,acquiredapeculiarcharmforhim。Itwasapartofhisavaricetotake,withinnarrowbounds,longoddsatraces;ifhewon,hedroveharderbargains;ifhelost,hehalfstarvedhimselfuntilnexttime。WhymoneyshouldbesoprecioustoanAsstoodullandmeantoexchangeitforanyothersatisfaction,isstrange;butthereisnoanimalsosuretogetladenwithit,astheAsswhoseesnothingwrittenonthefaceoftheearthandskybutthethreelettersL。S。
  D——notLuxury,Sensuality,Dissoluteness,whichtheyoftenstandfor,butthethreedryletters。YourconcentratedFoxisseldomcomparabletoyourconcentratedAssinmoney-breeding。
  FascinationFledgebyfeignedtobeayounggentlemanlivingonhismeans,butwasknownsecretlytobeakindofoutlawinthebill-brokingline,andtoputmoneyoutathighinterestinvariousways。Hiscircleoffamiliaracquaintance,fromMrLammleround,allhadatouchoftheoutlaw,astotheirrovingsinthemerrygreenwoodofJobberyForest,lyingontheoutskirtsoftheShare-MarketandtheStockExchange。
  'Isupposeyou,Lammle,'saidFledgeby,eatinghisbreadandbutter,'alwaysdidgoinforfemalesociety?'
  'Always,'repliedLammle,gloomingconsiderablyunderhislatetreatment。
  'Camenaturaltoyou,eh?'saidFledgeby。
  'Thesexwerepleasedtolikeme,sir,'saidLammlesulkily,butwiththeairofamanwhohadnotbeenabletohelphimself。
  'Madeaprettygoodthingofmarrying,didn'tyou?'askedFledgeby。
  Theothersmiledanuglysmile,andtappedonetapuponhisnose。
  'Mylategovernormadeamessofit,'saidFledgeby。'ButGeor——istherightnameGeorginaorGeorgiana?'
  'Georgiana。'
  'Iwasthinkingyesterday,Ididn'tknowtherewassuchaname。I
  thoughtitmustendinina。
  'Why?'
  'Why,youplay——ifyoucan——theConcertina,youknow,'repliedFledgeby,meditatingveryslowly。'Andyouhave——whenyoucatchit——theScarlatina。Andyoucancomedownfromaballooninaparach——noyoucan'tthough。Well,sayGeorgeute——ImeanGeorgiana。'
  'YouweregoingtoremarkofGeorgiana——?'Lammlemoodilyhinted,afterwaitinginvain。
  'IwasgoingtoremarkofGeorgiana,sir,'saidFledgeby,notatallpleasedtoberemindedofhishavingforgottenit,'thatshedon'tseemtobeviolent。Don'tseemtobeofthepitching-inorder。'
  'Shehasthegentlenessofthedove,MrFledgeby。'
  'Ofcourseyou'llsayso,'repliedFledgeby,sharpening,themomenthisinterestwastouchedbyanother。'Butyouknow,thereallook-
  outisthis:——whatIsay,notwhatyousay。Isayhavingmylategovernorandmylatemotherinmyeye——thatGeorgianadon'tseemtobeofthepitching-inorder。'
  TherespectedMrLammlewasabully,bynatureandbyusualpractice。Perceiving,asFledgeby'saffrontscumulated,thatconciliationbynomeansansweredthepurposehere,henowdirectedascowlinglookintoFledgeby'ssmalleyesfortheeffectoftheoppositetreatment。Satisfiedbywhathesawthere,heburstintoaviolentpassionandstruckhishanduponthetable,makingthechinaringanddance。
  'Youareaveryoffensivefellow,sir,'criedMrLammle,rising。
  'Youareahighlyoffensivescoundrel。Whatdoyoumeanbythisbehaviour?'
  'Isay!'remonstratedFledgeby。'Don'tbreakout。'
  'Youareaveryoffensivefellowsir,'repeatedMrLammle。'Youareahighlyoffensivescoundrel!'
  'ISAY,youknow!'urgedFledgeby,quailing。
  'Why,youcoarseandvulgarvagabond!'saidMrLammle,lookingfiercelyabouthim,'ifyourservantwasheretogivemesixpenceofyourmoneytogetmybootscleanedafterwards——foryouarenotworththeexpenditure——I'dkickyou。'
  'Noyouwouldn't,'pleadedFledgeby。'Iamsureyou'dthinkbetterofit。'
  'Itellyouwhat,MrFledgeby,'saidLammleadvancingonhim。
  'Sinceyoupresumetocontradictme,I'llassertmyselfalittle。
  Givemeyournose!'
  Fledgebycovereditwithhishandinstead,andsaid,retreating,'I
  begyouwon't!'
  'Givemeyournose,sir,'repeatedLammle。
  Stillcoveringthatfeatureandbacking,MrFledgebyreiteratedapparentlywithaseverecoldinhishead,'Ibeg,Ibeg,youwon't。'
  'Andthisfellow,'exclaimedLammle,stoppingandmakingthemostofhischest——'ThisfellowpresumesonmyhavingselectedhimoutofalltheyoungfellowsIknow,foranadvantageousopportunity!Thisfellowpresumesonmyhavinginmydeskroundthecorner,hisdirtynoteofhandforawretchedsumpayableontheoccurrenceofacertainevent,whicheventcanonlybeofmyandmywife'sbringingabout!Thisfellow,Fledgeby,presumestobeimpertinenttome,Lammle。Givemeyournosesir!'
  'No!Stop!Ibegyourpardon,'saidFledgeby,withhumility。
  'Whatdoyousay,sir?'demandedMrLammle,seemingtoofurioustounderstand。
  'Ibegyourpardon,'repeatedFledgeby。
  'Repeatyourwordslouder,sir。Thejustindignationofagentlemanhassentthebloodboilingtomyhead。Idon'thearyou。'
  'Isay,'repeatedFledgeby,withlaboriousexplanatorypoliteness,'I
  begyourpardon。'
  MrLammlepaused。'Asamanofhonour,'saidhe,throwinghimselfintoachair,'Iamdisarmed。'
  MrFledgebyalsotookachair,thoughlessdemonstratively,andbyslowapproachesremovedhishandfromhisnose。Somenaturaldiffidenceassailedhimastoblowingit,soshortlyafteritshavingassumedapersonalanddelicate,nottosaypublic,character;butheovercamehisscruplesbydegrees,andmodestlytookthatlibertyunderanimpliedprotest。
  'Lammle,'hesaidsneakingly,whenthatwasdone,'Ihopewearefriendsagain?'
  'MrFledgeby,'returnedLammle,'saynomore。'
  'Imusthavegonetoofarinmakingmyselfdisagreeable,'saidFledgeby,'butIneverintendedit。'
  'Saynomore,saynomore!'MrLammlerepeatedinamagnificenttone。'Givemeyour'——Fledgebystarted——'hand。'
  Theyshookhands,andonMrLammle'spart,inparticular,thereensuedgreatgeniality。For,hewasquiteasmuchofadastardastheother,andhadbeeninequaldangeroffallingintothesecondplaceforgood,whenhetookheartjustintime,toactupontheinformationconveyedtohimbyFledgeby'seye。
  Thebreakfastendedinaperfectunderstanding。IncessantmachinationsweretobekeptatworkbyMrandMrsLammle;
  lovewastobemadeforFledgeby,andconquestwastobeinsuredtohim;heonhispartveryhumblyadmittinghisdefectsastothesoftersocialarts,andentreatingtobebackedtotheutmostbyhistwoablecoadjutors。
  LittlereckedMrPodsnapofthetrapsandtoilsbesettinghisYoungPerson。HeregardedherassafewithintheTempleofPodsnappery,hidingthefulnessoftimewhenshe,Georgiana,shouldtakehim,Fitz-Podsnap,whowithallhisworldlygoodsshouldherendow。ItwouldcallablushintothecheekofhisstandardYoungPersontohaveanythingtodowithsuchmatterssavetotakeasdirected,andwithworldlygoodsaspersettlementtobeendowed。Whogiveththiswomantobemarriedtothisman?I,Podsnap。Perishthedaringthoughtthatanysmallercreationshouldcomebetween!
  Itwasapublicholiday,andFledgebydidnotrecoverhisspiritsorhisusualtemperatureofnoseuntiltheafternoon。WalkingintotheCityintheholidayafternoon,hewalkedagainstalivingstreamsettingoutofit;andthus,whenheturnedintotheprecinctsofStMaryAxe,hefoundaprevalentreposeandquietthere。Ayellowoverhangingplaster-frontedhouseatwhichbestoppedwasquiettoo。Theblindswerealldrawndown,andtheinscriptionPubseyandCo。seemedtodozeinthecounting-housewindowontheground-floorgivingonthesleepystreet。
  Fledgebyknockedandrang,andFledgebyrangandknocked,butnoonecame。Fledgebycrossedthenarrowstreetandlookedupatthehouse-windows,butnobodylookeddownatFledgeby。Hegotoutoftemper,crossedthenarrowstreetagain,andpulledthehousebellasifitwerethehouse'snose,andheweretakingahintfromhislateexperience。Hisearatthekeyholeseemedthen,atlast,togivehimassurancethatsomethingstirredwithin。Hiseyeatthekeyholeseemedtoconfirmhisear,forheangrilypulledthehouse'snoseagain,andpulledandpulledandcontinuedtopull,untilahumannoseappearedinthedarkdoorway。
  'Nowyousir!'criedFledgeby。'Thesearenicegames!'
  HeaddressedanoldJewishmaninanancientcoat,longofskirt,andwideofpocket。Avenerableman,baldandshiningatthetopofhishead,andwithlonggreyhairflowingdownatitssidesandminglingwithhisbeard。AmanwhowithagracefulEasternactionofhomagebenthishead,andstretchedouthishandswiththepalmsdownward,asiftodeprecatethewrathofasuperior。
  'Whathaveyoubeenupto?'saidFledgeby,stormingathim。
  'GenerousChristianmaster,'urgedtheJewishman,'itbeingholiday,Ilookedfornoone。'
  'Holidayheblowed!'saidFledgeby,entering。'WhathaveYOU
  gottodowithholidays?Shutthedoor。'
  Withhisformeractiontheoldmanobeyed。Intheentryhunghisrustylarge-brimmedlow-crownedhat,aslongoutofdateashiscoat;inthecornernearitstoodhisstaff——nowalking-stickbutaveritablestaff。Fledgebyturnedintothecounting-house,perchedhimselfonabusinessstool,andcockedhishat。Therewerelightboxesonshelvesinthecounting-house,andstringsofmockbeadshangingup。Thereweresamplesofcheapclocks,andsamplesofcheapvasesofflowers。Foreigntoys,all。
  Perchedonthestoolwithhishatcockedonhisheadandoneofhislegsdangling,theyouthofFledgebyhardlycontrastedtoadvantagewiththeageoftheJewishmanashestoodwithhisbareheadbowed,andhiseyeswhichheonlyraisedinspeaking
  ontheground。Hisclothingwasworndowntotherustyhueofthehatintheentry,butthoughhelookedshabbyhedidnotlookmean。Now,Fledgeby,thoughnotshabby,didlookmean。
  'Youhavenottoldmewhatyouwereupto,yousir,'saidFledgeby,scratchinghisheadwiththebrimofhishat。
  'Sir,Iwasbreathingtheair。'
  'Inthecellar,thatyoudidn'thear?'
  'Onthehouse-top。'
  'Uponmysoul!That'sawayofdoingbusiness。'
  'Sir,'theoldmanrepresentedwithagraveandpatientair,'theremustbetwopartiestothetransactionofbusiness,andtheholidayhasleftmealone。'
  'Ah!Can'tbebuyerandsellertoo。That'swhattheJewssay;ain'tit?'
  'Atleastwesaytruly,ifwesayso,'answeredtheoldmanwithasmile。
  'Yourpeopleneedspeakthetruthsometimes,fortheylieenough,'
  remarkedFascinationFledgeby。
  'Sir,thereis,'returnedtheoldmanwithquietemphasis,'toomuchuntruthamongalldenominationsofmen。'
  Ratherdashed,FascinationFledgebytookanotherscratchathisintellectualheadwithhishat,togaintimeforrallying。
  'Forinstance,'heresumed,asthoughitwerehewhohadspokenlast,'whobutyouandIeverheardofapoorJew?'
  'TheJews,'saidtheoldman,raisinghiseyesfromthegroundwithhisformersmile。'TheyhearofpoorJewsoften,andareverygoodtothem。'
  'Botherthat!'returnedFledgeby。'YouknowwhatImean。You'dpersuademeifyoucould,thatyouareapoorJew。Iwishyou'dconfesshowmuchyoureallydidmakeoutofmylategovernor。I
  shouldhaveabetteropinionofyou。'
  Theoldmanonlybenthishead,andstretchedouthishandsasbefore。
  'Don'tgoonposturinglikeaDeafandDumbSchool,'saidtheingeniousFledgeby,'butexpressyourselflikeaChristian——orasnearlyasyoucan。'
  'Ihadhadsicknessandmisfortunes,andwassopoor,'saidtheoldman,'ashopelesslytoowethefather,principalandinterest。Thesoninheriting,wassomercifulastoforgivemeboth,andplacemehere。'
  Hemadealittlegestureasthoughhekissedthehemofanimaginarygarmentwornbythenobleyouthbeforehim。Itwashumblydone,butpicturesquely,andwasnotabasingtothedoer。
  'Youwon'tsaymore,Isee,'saidFledgeby,lookingathimasifhewouldliketotrytheeffectofextractingadouble-toothortwo,'andsoit'sofnousemyputtingittoyou。Butconfessthis,Riah;
  whobelievesyoutobepoornow?'
  'Noone,'saidtheoldman。
  'Thereyou'reright,'assentedFledgeby。
  'Noone,'repeatedtheoldmanwithagraveslowwaveofhishead。'Allscoutitasafable。WereItosay“Thislittlefancybusinessisnotmine“;'withalithesweepofhiseasily-turninghandaroundhim,tocomprehendthevariousobjectsontheshelves;'“itisthelittlebusinessofaChristianyounggentlemanwhoplacesme,hisservant,intrustandchargehere,andtowhomIamaccountableforeverysinglebead,“theywouldlaugh。
  When,inthelargermoney-business,Itelltheborrowers——'
  'Isay,oldchap!'interposedFledgeby,'IhopeyoumindwhatyouDOtell'em?'
  'Sir,ItellthemnomorethanIamabouttorepeat。WhenItellthem,“Icannotpromisethis,Icannotanswerfortheother,Imustseemyprincipal,Ihavenotthemoney,Iamapoormananditdoesnotrestwithme,“theyaresounbelievingandsoimpatient,thattheysometimescursemeinJehovah'sname。'
  'That'sdeucedgood,thatis!'saidFascinationFledgeby。
  'Andatothertimestheysay,“Canitneverbedonewithoutthesetricks,MrRiah?Come,come,MrRiah,weknowtheartsofyourpeople“——mypeople!——“Ifthemoneyistobelent,fetchit,fetchit;
  ifitisnottobelent,keepitandsayso。”Theyneverbelieveme。'
  'THAT'Sallright,'saidFascinationFledgeby。
  'Theysay,“Weknow,MrRiah,weknow。Wehavebuttolookatyou,andweknow。”'
  'Oh,agood'unareyouforthepost,'thoughtFledgeby,'andagood'unwasItomarkyououtforit!Imaybeslow,butIamprecioussure。'
  NotasyllableofthisreflectionshapeditselfinanyscrapofMrFledgeby'sbreath,lestitshouldtendtoputhisservant'spriceup。
  Butlookingattheoldmanashestoodquietwithhisbeadbowedandhiseyescastdown,hefeltthattorelinquishaninchofhisbaldness,aninchofhisgreyhair,aninchofhiscoat-skirt,aninchofhishat-brim,aninchofhiswalking-staff,wouldbetorelinquishhundredsofpounds。
  'Lookhere,Riah,'saidFledgeby,mollifiedbytheseself-approvingconsiderations。'Iwanttogoalittlemoreintobuying-upqueerbills。Lookoutinthatdirection。'
  'Sir,itshallbedone。'
  'Castingmyeyeovertheaccounts,Ifindthatbranchofbusinesspaysprettyfairly,andIamgameforextendingit。Iliketoknowpeople'saffairslikewise。Solookout。'
  'Sir,Iwill,promptly。'
  'Putitaboutintherightquarters,thatyou'llbuyqueerbillsbythelump——bythepoundweightifthat'sall——supposingyouseeyourwaytoafairchanceonlookingovertheparcel。Andthere'sonethingmore。Cometomewiththebooksforperiodicalinspectionasusual,ateightonMondaymorning。'
  Riahdrewsomefoldingtabletsfromhisbreastandnoteditdown。
  'That'sallIwantedtosayatthepresenttime,'continuedFledgebyinagrudgingvein,ashegotoffthestool,'exceptthatIwishyou'dtaketheairwhereyoucanhearthebell,ortheknocker,eitheroneofthetwoorboth。By-the-byhowDOyoutaketheairatthetopofthehouse?Doyoustickyourheadoutofachimney-pot?'
  'Sir,thereareleadsthere,andIhavemadealittlegardenthere。'
  'Toburyyourmoneyin,youolddodger?'
  'Athumbnail'sspaceofgardenwouldholdthetreasureIbury,master,'saidRiah。'Twelveshillingsaweek,evenwhentheyareanoldman'swages,burythemselves。'
  'Ishouldliketoknowwhatyoureallyareworth,'returnedFledgeby,withwhomhisgrowingrichonthatstipendandgratitudewasaveryconvenientfiction。'Butcome!Let'shavealookatyourgardenonthetiles,beforeIgo!'
  Theoldmantookastepback,andhesitated。
  'Truly,sir,Ihavecompanythere。'
  'Haveyou,byGeorge!'saidFledgeby;'Isupposeyouhappentoknowwhosepremisestheseare?'
  'Sir,theyareyours,andIamyourservantinthem。'
  'Oh!Ithoughtyoumighthaveoverlookedthat,'retortedFledgeby,withhiseyesonRiah'sbeardashefeltforhisown;'havingcompanyonmypremises,youknow!'
  'Comeupandseetheguests,sir。Ihopeforyouradmissionthattheycandonoharm。'
  Passinghimwithacourteousreverence,speciallyunlikeanyactionthatMrFledgebycouldforhislifehaveimpartedtohisownheadandhands,theoldmanbegantoascendthestairs。Ashetoiledonbefore,withhispalmuponthestair-rail,andhislongblackskirt,averygaberdine,overhangingeachsuccessivestep,hemighthavebeentheleaderinsomepilgrimageofdevotionalascenttoaprophet'stomb。Nottroubledbyanysuchweakimagining,FascinationFledgebymerelyspeculatedonthetimeoflifeatwhichhisbeardhadbegun,andthoughtoncemorewhatagood'unhewasforthepart。
  Somefinalwoodenstepsconductedthem,stoopingunderalowpenthouseroof,tothehouse-top。Riahstoodstill,and,turningtohismaster,pointedouthisguests。
  LizzieHexamandJennyWren。Forwhom,perhapswithsomeoldinstinctofhisrace,thegentleJewhadspreadacarpet。Seatedonit,againstnomoreromanticobjectthanablackenedchimney-
  stackoverwhichsomebumblecreeperhadbeentrained,theybothporedoveronebook;bothwithattentivefaces;Jennywiththesharper;Lizziewiththemoreperplexed。Anotherlittlebookortwowerelyingnear,andacommonbasketofcommonfruit,andanotherbasketfullofstringsofbeadsandtinselscraps。A
  fewboxesofhumbleflowersandevergreenscompletedthegarden;andtheencompassingwildernessofdowageroldchimneystwirledtheircowlsandflutteredtheirsmoke,ratherasiftheywerebridling,andfanningthemselves,andlookingoninastateofairysurprise。
  Takinghereyesoffthebook,totesthermemoryofsomethinginit,Lizziewasthefirsttoseeherselfobserved。Assherose,MissWrenlikewisebecameconscious,andsaid,irreverentlyaddressingthegreatchiefofthepremises:'Whoeveryouare,I
  can'tgetup,becausemyback'sbadandmylegsarequeer。'
  'Thisismymaster,'saidRiah,steppingforward。
  'Don'tlooklikeanybody'smaster,'observedMissWrentoherself,withahitchofherchinandeyes。
  'This,sir,'pursuedtheoldman,'isalittledressmakerforlittlepeople。Explaintothemaster,Jenny。'
  'Dolls;that'sall,'saidJenny,shortly。'Verydifficulttofittoo,becausetheirfiguresaresouncertain。Youneverknowwheretoexpecttheirwaists。'
  'Herfriend,'resumedtheoldman,motioningtowardsLizzie;'andasindustriousasvirtuous。Butthattheybothare。Theyarebusyearlyandlate,sir,earlyandlate;andinbye-times,asonthisholiday,theygotobook-learning。'
  'Notmuchgoodtobegotoutofthat,'remarkedFledgeby。
  'Dependsupontheperson!'quothMissWren,snappinghimup。
  'Imadeacquaintancewithmyguests,sir,'pursuedtheJew,withanevidentpurposeofdrawingoutthedressmaker,'throughtheircomingheretobuyofourdamageandwasteforMissJenny'smillinery。Ourwastegoesintothebestofcompany,sir,onherrosy-cheekedlittlecustomers。Theywearitintheirhair,andontheirball-dresses,andevensoshetellsmearepresentedatCourtwithit。'
  'Ah!'saidFledgeby,onwhoseintelligencethisdoll-fancymaderatherstrongdemands;'she'sbeenbuyingthatbasketfulto-day,I
  suppose?'
  'Isupposeshehas,'MissJennyinterposed;'andpayingforittoo,mostlikely!'
  'Let'shavealookatit,'saidthesuspiciouschief。Riahhandedittohim。'Howmuchforthisnow?'
  'Twoprecioussilvershillings,'saidMissWren。
  Riahconfirmedherwithtwonods,asFledgebylookedtohim。A
  nodforeachshilling。
  'Well,'saidFledgeby,pokingintothecontentsofthebasketwithhisforefinger,'thepriceisnotsobad。Youhavegotgoodmeasure,MissWhat-is-it。'
  'TryJenny,'suggestedthatyoungladywithgreatcalmness。
  'Youhavegotgoodmeasure,MissJenny;butthepriceisnotsobad——Andyou,'saidFledgeby,turningtotheothervisitor,'doyoubuyanythinghere,miss?'
  'No,sir。'
  'Norsellanythingneither,miss?'
  'No,sir。'
  Lookingaskewatthequestioner,Jennystoleherhanduptoherfriend's,anddrewherfrienddown,sothatshebentbesideheronherknee。
  'Wearethankfultocomehereforrest,sir,'saidJenny。'Yousee,youdon'tknowwhattherestofthisplaceistous;doeshe,Lizzie?It'sthequiet,andtheair。'
  'Thequiet!'repeatedFledgeby,withacontemptuousturnofhisheadtowardstheCity'sroar。'Andtheair!'witha'Poof!'atthesmoke。
  'Ah!'saidJenny。'Butit'ssohigh。Andyouseethecloudsrushingonabovethenarrowstreets,notmindingthem,andyouseethegoldenarrowspointingatthemountainsintheskyfromwhichthewindcomes,andyoufeelasifyouweredead。'
  Thelittlecreaturelookedaboveher,holdingupherslighttransparenthand。
  'Howdoyoufeelwhenyouaredead?'askedFledgeby,muchperplexed。
  'Oh,sotranquil!'criedthelittlecreature,smiling。'Oh,sopeacefulandsothankful!Andyouhearthepeoplewhoarealive,crying,andworking,andcallingtooneanotherdownintheclosedarkstreets,andyouseemtopitythemso!Andsuchachainhasfallenfromyou,andsuchastrangegoodsorrowfulhappinesscomesuponyou!'
  Hereyesfellontheoldman,who,withhishandsfolded,quietlylookedon。
  'Whyitwasonlyjustnow,'saidthelittlecreature,pointingathim,'thatIfanciedIsawhimcomeoutofhisgrave!Hetoiledoutatthatlowdoorsobentandworn,andthenhetookhisbreathandstoodupright,andlookedallroundhimatthesky,andthewindblewuponhim,andhislifedowninthedarkwasover!——Tillhewascalledbacktolife,'sheadded,lookingroundatFledgebywiththatlowerlookofsharpness。'Whydidyoucallhimback?'
  'Hewaslongenoughcoming,anyhow,'grumbledFledgeby。
  'Butyouarenotdead,youknow,'saidJennyWren。'Getdowntolife!'
  MrFledgebyseemedtothinkitratheragoodsuggestion,andwithanodturnedround。AsRiahfollowedtoattendhimdownthestairs,thelittlecreaturecalledouttotheJewinasilverytone,'Don'tbelonggone。Comeback,andbedead!'Andstillastheywentdowntheyheardthelittlesweetvoice,moreandmorefaintly,halfcallingandhalfsinging,'Comebackandbedead,Comebackandbedead!'
  Whentheygotdownintotheentry,Fledgeby,pausingundertheshadowofthebroadoldhat,andmechanicallypoisingthestaff,saidtotheoldman:
  'That'sahandsomegirl,thatoneinhersenses。'
  'Andasgoodashandsome,'answeredRiah。
  'Atallevents,'observedFledgeby,withadrywhistle,'Ihopesheain'tbadenoughtoputanychapuptothefastenings,andgetthepremisesbrokenopen。Youlookout。Keepyourweathereyeawakeanddon'tmakeanymoreacquaintances,howeverhandsome。Ofcourseyoualwayskeepmynametoyourself?'
  'Sir,assuredlyIdo。'
  'Iftheyaskit,sayit'sPubsey,orsayit'sCo,orsayit'sanythingyoulike,butwhatitis。'
  Hisgratefulservant——inwhoseracegratitudeisdeep,strong,andenduring——bowedhishead,andactuallydidnowputthehemofhiscoattohislips:thoughsolightlythatthewearerknewnothingofit。
  Thus,FascinationFledgebywenthisway,exultingintheartfulclevernesswithwhichhehadturnedhisthumbdownonaJew,andtheoldmanwenthisdifferentwayup-stairs。Ashemounted,thecallorsongbegantosoundinhisearsagain,and,lookingabove,hesawthefaceofthelittlecreaturelookingdownoutofaGloryofherlongbrightradianthair,andmusicallyrepeatingtohim,likeavision:
  'Comeupandbedead!Comeupandbedead!'
  Chapter6
  ARIDDLEWITHOUTANANSWER
  AgainMrMortimerLightwoodandMrEugeneWrayburnsattogetherintheTemple。Thisevening,however,theywerenottogetherintheplaceofbusinessoftheeminentsolicitor,butinanotherdismalsetofchambersfacingitonthesamesecond-floor;
  onwhosedungeon-likeblackouter-doorappearedthelegend:
  PRIVATE
  MREUGENEWRAYBURN
  MRMORTIMERLIGHTWOOD
  MrLightwood'sOfficesopposite。
  Appearancesindicatedthatthisestablishmentwasaveryrecentinstitution。Thewhitelettersoftheinscriptionwereextremelywhiteandextremelystrongtothesenseofsmell,thecomplexionofthetablesandchairswaslikeLadyTippins'salittletoobloomingtobebelievedin,andthecarpetsandfloorclothseemedtorushatthebeholder'sfaceintheunusualprominencyoftheirpatterns。ButtheTemple,accustomedtotonedownboththestilllifeandthehumanlifethathasmuchtodowithit,wouldsoongetthebetterofallthat。
  'Well!'saidEugene,ononesideofthefire,'Ifeeltolerablycomfortable。Ihopetheupholsterermaydothesame。'
  'Whyshouldn'the?'askedLightwood,fromtheothersideofthefire。
  'Tobesure,'pursuedEugene,reflecting,'heisnotinthesecretofourpecuniaryaffairs,soperhapshemaybeinaneasyframeofmind。'
  'Weshallpayhim,'saidMortimer。
  'Shallwe,really?'returnedEugene,indolentlysurprised。'Youdon'tsayso!'
  'Imeantopayhim,Eugene,formypart,'saidMortimer,inaslightlyinjuredtone。
  'Ah!Imeantopayhimtoo,'retortedEugene。'ButthenImeansomuchthatI——thatIdon'tmean。'
  'Don'tmean?'
  'SomuchthatIonlymeanandshallalwaysonlymeanandnothingmore,mydearMortimer。It'sthesamething。'
  Hisfriend,lyingbackinhiseasychair,watchedhimlyingbackinhiseasychair,ashestretchedouthislegsonthehearth-rug,andsaid,withtheamusedlookthatEugeneWrayburncouldalwaysawakeninhimwithoutseemingtotryorcare:
  'Anyhow,yourvagarieshaveincreasedthebill。'
  'Callsthedomesticvirtuesvagaries!'exclaimedEugene,raisinghiseyestotheceiling。
  'Thisverycompletelittlekitchenofours,'saidMortimer,'inwhichnothingwilleverbecooked——'
  'Mydear,dearMortimer,'returnedhisfriend,lazilyliftinghisheadalittletolookathim,'howoftenhaveIpointedouttoyouthatitsmoralinfluenceistheimportantthing?'
  'Itsmoralinfluenceonthisfellow!'exclaimedLightwood,laughing。
  'Domethefavour,'saidEugene,gettingoutofhischairwithmuchgravity,'tocomeandinspectthatfeatureofourestablishmentwhichyourashlydisparage。'Withthat,takingupacandle,heconductedhischumintothefourthroomofthesetofchambers——alittlenarrowroom——whichwasverycompletelyandneatlyfittedasakitchen。'See!'saidEugene,'miniatureflour-barrel,rolling-
  pin,spice-box,shelfofbrownjars,chopping-board,coffee-mill,dresserelegantlyfurnishedwithcrockery,saucepansandpans,roastingjack,acharmingkettle,anarmouryofdish-covers。Themoralinfluenceoftheseobjects,informingthedomesticvirtues,mayhaveanimmenseinfluenceuponme;notuponyou,foryouareahopelesscase,butuponme。Infact,IhaveanideathatI
  feelthedomesticvirtuesalreadyforming。Domethefavourtostepintomybedroom。Secretaire,yousee,andabstrusesetofsolidmahoganypigeon-holes,oneforeveryletterofthealphabet。
  TowhatusedoIdevotethem?Ireceiveabill——sayfromJones。I
  docketitneatlyatthesecretaire,JONES,andIputitintopigeonholeJ。It'sthenextthingtoareceiptandisquiteassatisfactorytoME。AndIverymuchwish,Mortimer,'sittingonhisbed,withtheairofaphilosopherlecturingadisciple,'thatmyexamplemightinduceYOUtocultivatehabitsofpunctualityandmethod;and,bymeansofthemoralinfluenceswithwhichIhavesurroundedyou,toencouragetheformationofthedomesticvirtues。'
  Mortimerlaughedagain,withhisusualcommentariesof'HowCANyoubesoridiculous,Eugene!'and'Whatanabsurdfellowyouare!'butwhenhislaughwasout,therewassomethingserious,ifnotanxious,inhisface。Despitethatperniciousassumptionoflassitudeandindifference,whichhadbecomehissecondnature,hewasstronglyattachedtohisfriend。HehadfoundedhimselfuponEugenewhentheywereyetboysatschool;andatthishourimitatedhimnoless,admiredhimnoless,lovedhimnoless,thaninthosedeparteddays。
  'Eugene,'saidhe,'ifIcouldfindyouinearnestforaminute,I
  wouldtrytosayanearnestwordtoyou。'
  'Anearnestword?'repeatedEugene。'Themoralinfluencesarebeginningtowork。Sayon。'
  'Well,Iwill,'returnedtheother,'thoughyouarenotearnestyet。'
  'Inthisdesireforearnestness,'murmuredEugene,withtheairofonewhowasmeditatingdeeply,'Itracethehappyinfluencesofthelittleflour-barrelandthecoffee-mill。Gratifying。'
  'Eugene,'resumedMortimer,disregardingthelightinterruption,andlayingahanduponEugene'sshoulder,ashe,Mortimer,stoodbeforehimseatedonhisbed,'youarewithholdingsomethingfromme。'