'Mightyoubeacquainted，learnedgovernor，'saidRiderhood，'withapersonofaboutyourownheighthandbreadth，andwot'udpulldowninascaleaboutyourownweight，answeringtoanamesoundingsummatlikeTotherest?'
　　Withadesperationinhimthatmadehimperfectlyquiet，thoughhisjawwasheavilysquared；withhiseyesuponRiderhood；andwithtracesofquickenedbreathinginhisnostrils；theschoolmasterreplied，inasuppressedvoice，afterapause:'IthinkIknowthemanyoumean。'
　　'IthoughtyouknowedthemanImean，learnedgovernor。Iwanttheman。'
　　Withahalfglancearoundhimathispupils，Bradleyreturned:
　　'Doyousupposeheishere?'
　　'Beggingyourpardon，learnedgovernor，andbyyourleave，'saidRiderhood，withalaugh，'howcouldIsupposehe'shere，whenthere'snobodyherebutyou，andme，andtheseyounglambswotyou'realearningon?Butheismostexcellentcompany，thatman，andIwanthimtocomeandseemeatmyLock，uptheriver。'
　　'I'lltellhimso。'
　　'D'yethinkhe'llcome?'askedRiderhood。
　　'Iamsurehewill。'
　　'Havinggotyourwordforhim，'saidRiderhood，'Ishallcountuponhim。P'rapsyou'dsofurobleegeme，learnedgovernor，astellhimthatifhedon'tcomeprecioussoon，I'lllookhimup。'
　　'Heshallknowit。'
　　'Thankee。AsIsaysawhileago，'pursuedRiderhood，changinghishoarsetoneandleeringroundupontheclassagain，'thoughnotalearnedcharactermyownself，Idoadmirelearninginothers，tobesure！Beinghereandhavingmetwithyourkindattention，Master，mightI，aforeIgo，askaquestionofthesehereyounglambsofyourn?'
　　'Ifitisinthewayofschool，'saidBradley，alwayssustaininghisdarklookattheother，andspeakinginhissuppressedvoice，'youmay。'
　　'Oh！It'sinthewayofschool！'criedRiderhood。'I'llpoundit，Master，tobeinthewayofschool。Wot'sthediwisionsofwater，mylambs?Wotsortsofwateristhereontheland?'
　　Shrillchorus:'Seas，rivers，lakes，andponds。'
　　'Seas，rivers，lakes，andponds，'saidRiderhood。'They'vegotallthelot，Master！BlowedifIshouldn'thaveleftoutlakes，neverhavingclappedeyesuponone，tomyknowledge。Seas，rivers，lakes，andponds。Wotisit，lambs，astheyketchesinseas，rivers，lakes，andponds?'
　　Shrillchoruswithsomecontemptfortheeaseofthequestion:
　　'Fish！'
　　'Gooda-gin！'saidRiderhood。'Butwotelseisit，mylambs，astheysometimesketchesinrivers?'
　　Chorusataloss。Oneshrillvoice:'Weed！'
　　'Goodagin！'criedRiderhood。'Butitain'tweedneither。You'llneverguess，mydears。Wotisit，besidesfish，astheysometimesketchesinrivers?Well！I'lltellyou。It'ssuitso'clothes。'
　　Bradley'sfacechanged。
　　'Leastways，lambs，'saidRiderhood，observinghimoutofthecornersofhiseyes，'that'swotImyownselfsometimesketchesinrivers。Forstrikemeblind，mylambs，ifIdidn'tketchinariverthewerybundleundermyarm！'
　　Theclasslookedatthemaster，asifappealingfromtheirregularentrapmentofthismodeofexamination。Themasterlookedattheexaminer，asifhewouldhavetornhimtopieces。
　　'Iaskyourpardon，learnedgovernor，'saidRiderhood，smearinghissleeveacrosshismouthashelaughedwitharelish，'tain'tfairtothelambs，Iknow。Itwosabitoffunofmine。ButuponmysoulI
　　drawedthisherebundleoutofariver！It'saBargeman'ssuitofclothes。Yousee，ithadbeensunktherebythemanasworeit，andIgotitup。'
　　'Howdoyouknowitwassunkbythemanwhoworeit?'askedBradley。
　　'CauseIseehimdoit，'saidRiderhood。
　　Theylookedateachother。Bradley，slowlywithdrawinghiseyes，turnedhisfacetotheblackboardandslowlywipedhisnameout。
　　'Aheapofthanks，Master，'saidRiderhood，'forbestowingsomuchofyourtime，andofthelambses'time，uponamanashasn'tgotnootherrecommendationtoyouthanbeingahonestman。WishingtoseeatmyLockuptheriver，thepersonaswe'vespokeof，andasyou'veansweredfor，Itakesmyleaveofthelambsandoftheirlearnedgovernorboth。'
　　Withthosewords，heslouchedoutoftheschool，leavingthemastertogetthroughhiswearyworkashemight，andleavingthewhisperingpupilstoobservethemaster'sfaceuntilhefellintothefitwhichhadbeenlongimpending。
　　ThenextdaybutonewasSaturday，andaholiday。Bradleyroseearly，andsetoutonfootforPlashwaterWeirMillLock。Herosesoearlythatitwasnotyetlightwhenhebeganhisjourney。Beforeextinguishingthecandlebywhichhehaddressedhimself，hemadealittleparcelofhisdecentsilverwatchanditsdecentguard，andwroteinsidethepaper:'Kindlytakecareoftheseforme。'HethenaddressedtheparceltoMissPeecher，andleftitonthemostprotectedcornerofthelittleseatinherlittleporch。
　　Itwasacoldhardeasterlymorningwhenhelatchedthegardengateandturnedaway。ThelightsnowfallwhichhadfeatheredhisschoolroomwindowsontheThursday，stilllingeredintheair，andwasfallingwhite，whilethewindblewblack。Thetardydaydidnotappearuntilhehadbeenonfoottwohours，andhadtraversedagreaterpartofLondonfromeasttowest。Suchbreakfastashehad，hetookatthecomfortlesspublic-housewherehehadpartedfromRiderhoodontheoccasionoftheirnight-walk。Hetookit，standingatthelitteredbar，andlookedloweringlyatamanwhostoodwhereRiderhoodhadstoodthatearlymorning。
　　Heoutwalkedtheshortday，andwasonthetowing-pathbytheriver，somewhatfootsore，whenthenightclosedin。StilltwoorthreemilesshortoftheLock，heslackenedhispacethen，butwentsteadilyon。Thegroundwasnowcoveredwithsnow，thoughthinly，andtherewerefloatinglumpsoficeinthemoreexposedpartsoftheriver，andbrokensheetsoficeundertheshelterofthebanks。Hetookheedofnothingbuttheice，thesnow，andthedistance，untilhesawalightahead，whichheknewgleamedfromtheLockHousewindow。Itarrestedhissteps，andhelookedallaround。Theice，andthesnow，andhe，andtheonelight，hadabsolutepossessionofthedrearyscene。Inthedistancebeforehim，laytheplacewherehehadstrucktheworsethanuselessblowsthatmockedhimwithLizzie'spresencethereasEugene'swife。Inthedistancebehindhim，laytheplacewherethechildrenwithpointingarmshadseemedtodevotehimtothedemonsincryingouthisname。Withinthere，wherethelightwas，wasthemanwhoastobothdistancescouldgivehimuptoruin。Totheselimitshadhisworldshrunk。
　　Hemendedhispace，keepinghiseyesuponthelightwithastrangeintensity，asifheweretakingaimatit。Whenheapproacheditsonearlyasthatitpartedintorays，theyseemedtofastenthemselvestohimanddrawhimon。Whenhestruckthedoorwithhishand，hisfootfollowedsoquicklyonhishand，thathewasintheroombeforehewasbiddentoenter。
　　Thelightwasthejointproductofafireandacandle。Betweenthetwo，withhisfeetontheironfender，satRiderhood，pipeinmouth。
　　Helookedupwithasurlynodwhenhisvisitorcamein。Hisvisitorlookeddownwithasurlynod。Hisouterclothingremoved，thevisitorthentookaseatontheoppositesideofthefire。
　　'Notasmoker，Ithink?'saidRiderhood，pushingabottletohimacrossthetable。
　　'No。'
　　Theybothlapsedintosilence，withtheireyesuponthefire。
　　'Youdon'tneedtobetoldIamhere，'saidBradleyatlength。'Whoistobegin?'
　　'I'llbegin，'saidRiderhood，'whenI'vesmokedthisherepipeout。'
　　Hefinisheditwithgreatdeliberation，knockedouttheashesonthehob，andputitby。
　　'I'llbegin，'hethenrepeated，'BradleyHeadstone，Master，ifyouwishit。'
　　'Wishit?Iwishtoknowwhatyouwantwithme。'
　　'Andsoyoushall。'Riderhoodhadlookedhardathishandsandhispockets，apparentlyasaprecautionarymeasurelestheshouldhaveanyweaponabouthim。But，henowleanedforward，turningthecollarofhiswaistcoatwithaninquisitivefinger，andasked，'Why，where'syourwatch?'
　　'Ihaveleftitbehind。'
　　'Iwantit。Butitcanbefetched。I'vetookafancytoit。'
　　Bradleyansweredwithacontemptuouslaugh。
　　'Iwantit，'repeatedRiderhood，inaloudervoice，'andImeantohaveit。'
　　'Thatiswhatyouwantofme，isit?'
　　'No，'saidRiderhood，stilllouder；'it'son'ypartofwhatIwantofyou。Iwantmoneyofyou。'
　　'Anythingelse?'
　　'Everythinkelse！'roaredRiderhood，inaveryloudandfuriousway。'Answermelikethat，andIwon'ttalktoyouatall。'
　　Bradleylookedathim。
　　'Don'tsomuchaslookatmelikethat，orIwon'ttalktoyouatall，'
　　vociferatedRiderhood。'But，insteadoftalking，I'llbringmyhanddownuponyouwithallitsweight，'heavilysmitingthetablewithgreatforce，'andsmashyou！'
　　'Goon，'saidBradley，aftermoisteninghislips。
　　'O！I'magoingon。Don'tyoufearbutI'llgoonfull-fastenoughforyou，andfurenoughforyou，withoutyourtelling。Lookhere，BradleyHeadstone，Master。YoumighthavesplittheT'othergovernortochipsandwedges，withoutmycaring，exceptthatI
　　mighthavecomeuponyouforaglassorsonowandthen。Elsewhyhavetodowithyouatall?Butwhenyoucopiedmyclothes，andwhenyoucopiedmyneckhankercher，andwhenyoushookblooduponmeafteryouhaddonethetrick，youdidwotI'llbepaidforandpaidheavyfor。Ifitcometobethrow'duponyou，youwastobereadytothrowituponme，wasyou?WhereelsebutinPlashwaterWeirMillLockwasthereamandressedaccordingasdescribed?WhereelsebutinPlashwaterWeirMillLockwasthereamanashadhadwordswithhimcomingthroughinhisboat?LookattheLock-keeperinPlashwaterWeirMillLock，inthemsameansweringclothesandwiththatsameansweringredneckhankercher，andseewhetherhisclotheshappenstobebloodyornot。Yes，theydohappentobebloody。Ah，youslydevil！'
　　Bradley，verywhite，satlookingathiminsilence。
　　'Buttwocouldplayatyourgame，'saidRiderhood，snappinghisfingersathimhalfadozentimes，'andIplayeditlongago；longaforeyoutriedyourclumsyhandatit；indayswhenyouhadn'tbeguncroakingyourlectersorwhatnotinyourschool。Iknowtoafigurehowyoudoneit。Whereyoustoleaway，Icouldstealawayarteryou，anddoitknowingerthanyou。IknowhowyoucomeawayfromLondoninyourownclothes，andwhereyouchangedyourclothes，andhidyourclothes。Iseeyouwithmyowneyestakeyourownclothesfromtheirhiding-placeamongthemfelledtrees，andtakeadipintherivertoaccountforyourdressingyourself，toanyoneasmightcomeby。IseeyouriseupBradleyHeadstone，Master，whereyousatdownBargeman。IseeyoupitchyourBargeman'sbundleintotheriver。IhookedyourBargeman'sbundleoutoftheriver。I'vegotyourBargeman'sclothes，torethiswayandthatwaywiththescuffle，stainedgreenwiththegrass，andspatteredalloverwithwhatbustfromtheblows。I'vegotthem，andI'vegotyou。Idon'tcareacursefortheT'othergovernor，aliveordead，butIcareamanycursesformyownself。
　　Andasyoulaidyourplotsaginmeandwasaslydevilaginme，I'llbepaidforit——I'llbepaidforit——I'llbepaidforit——tillI'vedrainedyoudry！'
　　Bradleylookedatthefire，withaworkingface，andwassilentforawhile。Atlasthesaid，withwhatseemedaninconsistentcomposureofvoiceandfeature:
　　'Youcan'tgetbloodoutofastone，Riderhood。'
　　'Icangetmoneyoutofaschoolmasterthough。'
　　'Youcan'tgetoutofmewhatisnotinme。Youcan'twrestfrommewhatIhavenotgot。Mineisbutapoorcalling。Youhavehadmorethantwoguineasfromme，already。Doyouknowhowlongithastakenmeallowingforalongandarduoustrainingtoearnsuchasum?'
　　'Idon'tknow，norIdon'tcare。Yoursisa'spectablecalling。Tosaveyour'spectability，it'sworthyourwhiletopawneveryarticleofclothesyou'vegot，selleverystickinyourhouse，andbegandborroweverypennyyoucangettrustedwith。Whenyou'vedonethatandhandedover，I'llleaveyou。Notafore。'
　　'Howdoyoumean，you'llleaveme?'
　　'ImeanasI'llkeepyoucompany，whereveryougo，whenyougoawayfromhere。LettheLocktakecareofitself。I'lltakecareofyou，onceI'vegotyou。'
　　Bradleyagainlookedatthefire。Eyeinghimaside，Riderhoodtookuphispipe，refilledit，lightedit，andsatsmoking。Bradleyleanedhiselbowsonhisknees，andhisheaduponhishands，andlookedatthefirewithamostintentabstraction。
　　'Riderhood，'hesaid，raisinghimselfinhischair，afteralongsilence，anddrawingouthispurseandputtingitonthetable。'SayIpartwiththis，whichisallthemoneyIhave；sayIletyouhavemywatch；saythateveryquarter，whenIdrawmysalary，Ipayyouacertainportionofit。'
　　'Saynothinkofthesort，'retortedRiderhood，shakinghisheadashesmoked。'You'vegotawayonce，andIwon'trunthechanceagin。I'vehadtroubleenoughtofindyou，andshouldn'thavefoundyou，ifIhadn'tseenyouslippingalongthestreetovernight，andwatchedyoutillyouwassafehoused。I'llhaveonesettlementwithyouforgoodandall。'
　　'Riderhood，Iamamanwhohaslivedaretiredlife。Ihavenoresourcesbeyondmyself。Ihaveabsolutelynofriends。'
　　'That'salie，'saidRiderhood。'You'vegotonefriendasIknowsof；
　　oneasisgoodforaSavings-Bankbook，orI'mabluemonkey！'
　　Bradley'sfacedarkened，andhishandslowlyclosedonthepurseanddrewitback，ashesatlisteningforwhattheothershouldgoontosay。
　　'Iwentintothewrongshop，fust，lastThursday，'saidRiderhood。
　　'Foundmyselfamongtheyoungladies，byGeorge！Overtheyoungladies，IseeaMissis。ThatMissisissweetenoughuponyou，Master，tosellherselfup，slap，togetyououtoftrouble。Makeherdoitthen。'
　　BradleystaredathimsoverysuddenlythatRiderhood，notquiteknowinghowtotakeit，affectedtobeoccupiedwiththeencirclingsmokefromhispipe；fanningitawaywithhishand，andblowingitoff。
　　'Youspoketothemistress，didyou?'inquiredBradley，withthatformercomposureofvoiceandfeaturethatseemedinconsistent，andwithavertedeyes。
　　'Poof！Yes，'saidRiderhood，withdrawinghisattentionfromthesmoke。'Ispoketoher。Ididn'tsaymuchtoher。ShewasputinaflusterbymydroppinginamongtheyoungladiesIneverdidsetupforalady'sman，andshetookmeintoherparlourtohopeastherewasnothinkwrong。Itellsher，“Ono，nothinkwrong。Themaster'smywerygoodfriend。”ButIseehowthelandlaid，andthatshewascomfortableoff。'
　　Bradleyputthepurseinhispocket，graspedhisleftwristwithhisrighthand，andsatrigidlycontemplatingthefire。
　　'Shecouldn'tlivemorehandytoyouthanshedoes，'saidRiderhood，'andwhenIgoeshomewithyouasofcourseIamagoing，Irecommendyoutocleanheroutwithoutlossoftime。
　　Youcanmarryher，arteryouandmehavecometoasettlement。
　　She'snice-looking，andIknowyoucan'tbekeepingcompanywithnooneelse，havingbeensolatelydisapintedinanotherquarter。'
　　NotoneotherworddidBradleyutterallthatnight。Notoncedidhechangehisattitude，orloosenhisholduponhiswrist。Rigidbeforethefire，asifitwereacharmedflamethatwasturninghimold，hesat，withthedarklinesdeepeninginhisface，itsstarebecomingmoreandmorehaggard，itssurfaceturningwhiterandwhiterasifitwerebeingoverspreadwithashes，andtheverytextureandcolourofhishairdegenerating。
　　Notuntilthelatedaylightmadethewindowtransparent，didthisdecayingstatuemove。Thenitslowlyarose，andsatinthewindowlookingout。
　　Riderhoodhadkepthischairallnight。Intheearlierpartofthenighthehadmutteredtwiceorthricethatitwasbittercold；orthatthefireburntfast，whenhegotuptomendit；but，ashecouldelicitfromhiscompanionneithersoundnormovement，hehadafterwardsheldhispeace。Hewasmakingsomedisorderlypreparationsforcoffee，whenBradleycamefromthewindowandputonhisoutercoatandhat。
　　'Hadn'tusbetterhaveabito'breakfastaforewestart?'saidRiderhood。'Itain'tgoodtofreezeaemptystomach，Master。'
　　Withoutasigntoshowthatheheard，BradleywalkedoutoftheLockHouse。Catchingupfromthetableapieceofbread，andtakinghisBargeman'sbundleunderhisarm，Riderhoodimmediatelyfollowedhim。BradleyturnedtowardsLondon。
　　Riderhoodcaughthimup，andwalkedathisside。
　　Thetwomentrudgedon，sidebyside，insilence，fullthreemiles。
　　Suddenly，Bradleyturnedtoretracehiscourse。Instantly，Riderhoodturnedlikewise，andtheywentbacksidebyside。
　　Bradleyre-enteredtheLockHouse。SodidRiderhood。Bradleysatdowninthewindow。Riderhoodwarmedhimselfatthefire。Afteranhourormore，Bradleyabruptlygotupagain，andagainwentout，butthistimeturnedtheotherway。Riderhoodwascloseafterhim，caughthimupinafewpaces，andwalkedathisside。
　　Thistime，asbefore，whenhefoundhisattendantnottobeshakenoff，Bradleysuddenlyturnedback。Thistime，asbefore，Riderhoodturnedbackalongwithhim。But，notthistime，asbefore，didtheygointotheLockHouse，forBradleycametoastandonthesnow-
　　coveredturfbytheLock，lookinguptheriveranddowntheriver。
　　Navigationwasimpededbythefrost，andthescenewasamerewhiteandyellowdesert。
　　'Come，come，Master，'urgedRiderhood，athisside。'Thisisadrygame。Andwhere'sthegoodofit?Youcan'tgetridofme，exceptbycomingtoasettlement。Iamagoingalongwithyouwhereveryougo。'
　　Withoutawordofreply，Bradleypassedquicklyfromhimoverthewoodenbridgeonthelockgates。'Why，there'sevenlesssenseinthismovethant'other，'saidRiderhood，following。'TheWeir'sthere，andyou'llhavetocomeback，youknow。'
　　Withouttakingtheleastnotice，Bradleyleanedhisbodyagainstapost，inarestingattitude，andthererestedwithhiseyescastdown。
　　'Beingbroughthere，'saidRiderhood，gruffly，'I'llturnittosomeusebychangingmygates。'Witharattleandarushofwater，hethenswung-tothelockgatesthatwerestandingopen，beforeopeningtheothers。So，bothsetsofgateswere，forthemoment，closed。
　　'You'dbetterbyfarbereasonable，BradleyHeadstone，Master，'
　　saidRiderhood，passinghim，'orI'lldrainyouallthedryerforit，whenwedosettle——Ah！Wouldyou！'
　　Bradleyhadcaughthimroundthebody。Heseemedtobegirdledwithanironring。TheywereonthebrinkoftheLock，aboutmidwaybetweenthetwosetsofgates。
　　'Letgo！'saidRiderhood，'orI'llgetmyknifeoutandslashyouwhereverIcancutyou。Letgo！'
　　BradleywasdrawingtotheLock-edge。Riderhoodwasdrawingawayfromit。Itwasastronggrapple，andafiercestruggle，armandleg。Bradleygothimround，withhisbacktotheLock，andstillworkedhimbackward。
　　'Letgo！'saidRiderhood。'Stop！Whatareyoutryingat?Youcan'tdrownMe。Ain'tItoldyouthatthemanashascomethroughdrowningcanneverbedrowned?Ican'tbedrowned。'
　　'Icanbe！'returnedBradley，inadesperate，clenchedvoice。'Iamresolvedtobe。I'llholdyouliving，andI'llholdyoudead。Comedown！'
　　Riderhoodwentoverintothesmoothpit，backward，andBradleyHeadstoneuponhim。Whenthetwowerefound，lyingundertheoozeandscumbehindoneoftherottinggates，Riderhood'sholdhadrelaxed，probablyinfalling，andhiseyeswerestaringupward。
　　But，hewasgirdledstillwithBradley'sironring，andtherivetsoftheironringheldtight。
　　Chapter16
　　PERSONSANDTHINGSINGENERAL
　　MrandMrsJohnHarmon'sfirstdelightfuloccupationwas，tosetallmattersrightthathadstrayedinanywaywrong，orthatmight，could，would，orshould，havestrayedinanywaywrong，whiletheirnamewasinabeyance。IntracingoutaffairsforwhichJohn'sfictitiousdeathwastobeconsideredinanywayresponsible，theyusedaverybroadandfreeconstruction；regarding，forinstance，thedolls'dressmakerashavingaclaimontheirprotection，becauseofherassociationwithMrsEugeneWrayburn，andbecauseofMrsEugene'soldassociation，inherturn，withthedarksideofthestory。Itfollowedthattheoldman，Riah，asagoodandserviceablefriendtoboth，wasnottobedisclaimed。NorevenMrInspector，ashavingbeentrepannedintoanindustrioushuntonafalsescent。Itmayberemarked，inconnexionwiththatworthyofficer，thatarumourshortlyafterwardspervadedtheForce，totheeffectthathehadconfidedtoMissAbbeyPotterson，overajugofmellowflipinthebaroftheSixJollyFellowshipPorters，thathe'didn'tstandtoloseafarthing'throughMrHarmon'scomingtolife，butwasquiteaswellsatisfiedasifthatgentlemanhadbeenbarbarouslymurdered，andheMrInspectorhadpocketedthegovernmentreward。
　　Inalltheirarrangementsofsuchnature，MrandMrsJohnHarmonderivedmuchassistancefromtheireminentsolicitor，MrMortimerLightwood；wholaidabouthimprofessionallywithsuchunwonteddespatchandintention，thatapieceofworkwasvigorouslypursuedassoonascutout；wherebyYoungBlightwasactedonasbythattransatlanticdramwhichispoeticallynamedAnEye-
　　Opener，andfoundhimselfstaringatrealclientsinsteadofoutofwindow。TheaccessibilityofRiahprovingveryusefulastoafewhintstowardsthedisentanglementofEugene'saffairs，LightwoodappliedhimselfwithinfinitezesttoattackingandharassingMrFledgeby:who，discoveringhimselfindangerofbeingblownintotheairbycertainexplosivetransactionsinwhichhehadbeenengaged，andhavingbeensufficientlyflayedunderhisbeating，cametoaparleyandaskedforquarter。TheharmlessTwemlowprofitedbytheconditionsenteredinto，thoughhelittlethoughtit。
　　MrRiahunaccountablymelted；waitedinpersononhimoverthestableyardinDukeStreet，StJames's，nolongerraveningbutmild，toinformhimthatpaymentofinterestasheretofore，buthenceforthatMrLightwood'soffices，wouldappeasehisJewishrancour；anddepartedwiththesecretthatMrJohnHarmonhadadvancedthemoneyandbecomethecreditor。Thus，wasthesublimeSnigsworth'swrathaverted，andthusdidhesnortnolargeramountofmoralgrandeurattheCorinthiancolumnintheprintoverthefireplace，thanwasnormallyinhisandtheBritishconstitution。
　　MrsWilfer'sfirstvisittotheMendicant'sbrideatthenewabodeofMendicancy，wasagrandevent。PahadbeensentforintotheCity，ontheverydayoftakingpossession，andhadbeenstunnedwithastonishment，andbrought-to，andledaboutthehousebyoneear，tobeholditsvarioustreasures，andhadbeenenrapturedandenchanted。PahadalsobeenappointedSecretary，andhadbeenenjoinedtogiveinstantnoticeofresignationtoChicksey，Veneering，andStobbles，foreverandever。ButMacamelater，andcame，aswasherdue，instate。
　　ThecarriagewassentforMa，whoentereditwithabearingworthyoftheoccasion，accompanied，ratherthansupported，byMissLavinia，whoaltogetherdeclinedtorecognizethematernalmajesty。MrGeorgeSampsonmeeklyfollowed。Hewasreceivedinthevehicle，byMrsWilfer，asifadmittedtothehonourofassistingatafuneralinthefamily，andshethenissuedtheorder，'Onward！'totheMendicant'smenial。
　　'Iwishtogoodness，Ma，'saidLavvy，throwingherselfbackamongthecushions，withherarmscrossed，'thatyou'dlollalittle。'
　　'How！'repeatedMrsWilfer。'Loll！'
　　'Yes，Ma。'
　　'Ihope，'saidtheimpressivelady，'Iamincapableofit。'
　　'Iamsureyoulookso，Ma。Butwhyoneshouldgoouttodinewithone'sowndaughterorsister，asifone'sunder-petticoatwasablackboard，IdoNOTunderstand。'
　　'NeitherdoIunderstand，'retortedMrsWilfer，withdeepscorn，'howayoungladycanmentionthegarmentinthenameofwhichyouhaveindulged。Iblushforyou。'
　　'Thankyou，Ma，'saidLavvy，yawning，'butIcandoitformyself，I
　　amobligedtoyou，whenthere'sanyoccasion。'
　　Here，MrSampson，withtheviewofestablishingharmony，whichheneverunderanycircumstancessucceededindoing，saidwithanagreeablesmile:'Afterall，youknow，ma'am，weknowit'sthere。'
　　Andimmediatelyfeltthathehadcommittedhimself。
　　'Weknowit'sthere！'saidMrsWilfer，glaring。
　　'Really，George，'remonstratedMissLavinia，'ImustsaythatIdon'tunderstandyourallusions，andthatIthinkyoumightbemoredelicateandlesspersonal。'
　　'Goit！'criedMrSampson，becoming，ontheshortestnotice，apreytodespair。'Ohyes！Goit，MissLaviniaWilfer！'
　　'Whatyoumaymean，GeorgeSampson，byyouromnibus-drivingexpressions，Icannotpretendtoimagine。Neither，'saidMissLavinia，'MrGeorgeSampson，doIwishtoimagine。ItisenoughformetoknowinmyownheartthatIamnotgoingto——'havingimprudentlygotintoasentencewithoutprovidingawayoutofit，MissLaviniawasconstrainedtoclosewith'goingtoit'。Aweakconclusionwhich，however，derivedsomeappearanceofstrengthfromdisdain。
　　'Ohyes！'criedMrSampson，withbitterness。'Thusiteveris。I
　　never——'
　　'Ifyoumeantosay，'MissLavvycuthimshort，thatyouneverbroughtupayounggazelle，youmaysaveyourselfthetrouble，becausenobodyinthiscarriagesupposesthatyoueverdid。Weknowyoubetter。'Asifthiswereahome-thrust。
　　'Lavinia，'returnedMrSampson，inadismalvein，Ididnotmeantosayso。WhatIdidmeantosay，was，thatIneverexpectedtoretainmyfavouredplaceinthisfamily，afterFortuneshedherbeamsuponit。Whydoyoutakeme，'saidMrSampson，'totheglitteringhallswithwhichIcannevercompete，andthentauntmewithmymoderatesalary?Isitgenerous?Isitkind?'
　　Thestatelylady，MrsWilfer，perceivingheropportunityofdeliveringafewremarksfromthethrone，heretookupthealtercation。
　　'MrSampson，'shebegan，'Icannotpermityoutomisrepresenttheintentionsofachildofmine。'
　　'Lethimalone，Ma，'MissLavvyinterposedwithhaughtiness。'Itisindifferenttomewhathesaysordoes。'
　　'Nay，Lavinia，'quothMrsWilfer，'thistouchesthebloodofthefamily。IfMrGeorgeSampsonattributes，eventomyyoungestdaughter——'
　　'Idon'tseewhyyoushouldusetheword“even“，Ma，'MissLavvyinterposed，'becauseIamquiteasimportantasanyoftheothers。'
　　'Peace！'saidMrsWilfer，solemnly。'Irepeat，ifMrGeorgeSampsonattributes，tomyyoungestdaughter，grovellingmotives，heattributesthemequallytothemotherofmyyoungestdaughter。
　　Thatmotherrepudiatesthem，anddemandsofMrGeorgeSampson，asayouthofhonour，whatheWOULDhave?Imaybemistaken——nothingismorelikely——butMrGeorgeSampson，'
　　proceededMrsWilfer，majesticallywavinghergloves，'appearstometobeseatedinafirst-classequipage。MrGeorgeSampsonappearstometobeonhisway，byhisownadmission，toaresidencethatmaybetermedPalatial。MrGeorgeSampsonappearstometobeinvitedtoparticipateinthe——shallIsaythe——
　　Elevationwhichhasdescendedonthefamilywithwhichheisambitious，shallIsaytoMingle?Whence，then，thistoneonMrSampson'spart?'
　　'Itisonly，ma'am，'MrSampsonexplained，inexceedinglylowspirits，'because，inapecuniarysense，Iampainfullyconsciousofmyunworthiness。Laviniaisnowhighlyconnected。CanIhopethatshewillstillremainthesameLaviniaasofold?AndisitnotpardonableifIfeelsensitive，whenIseeadispositiononherparttotakemeupshort?'
　　'Ifyouarenotsatisfiedwithyourposition，sir，'observedMissLavinia，withmuchpoliteness，'wecansetyoudownatanyturningyoumaypleasetoindicatetomysister'scoachman。'
　　'DearestLavinia，'urgedMrSampson，pathetically，'Iadoreyou。'
　　'Thenifyoucan'tdoitinamoreagreeablemanner，'returnedtheyounglady，'Iwishyouwouldn't。'
　　'Ialso，'pursuedMrSampson，'respectyou，ma'am，toanextentwhichmusteverbebelowyourmerits，Iamwellaware，butstilluptoanuncommonmark。Bearwithawretch，Lavinia，bearwithawretch，ma'am，whofeelsthenoblesacrificesyoumakeforhim，butisgoadedalmosttomadness，'MrSampsonslappedhisforehead，'whenhethinksofcompetingwiththerichandinfluential。'
　　'Whenyouhavetocompetewiththerichandinfluential，itwillprobablybementionedtoyou，'saidMissLavvy，'ingoodtime。Atleast，itwillifthecaseisMYcase。'
　　MrSampsonimmediatelyexpressedhisferventOpinionthatthiswas'morethanhuman'，andwasbroughtuponhiskneesatMissLavinia'sfeet。
　　Itwasthecrowningadditionindispensabletothefullenjoymentofbothmotheranddaughter，tobearMrSampson，agratefulcaptive，intotheglitteringhallshehadmentioned，andtoparadehimthroughthesame，atoncealivingwitnessoftheirglory，andabrightinstanceoftheircondescension。Ascendingthestaircase，MissLaviniapermittedhimtowalkatherside，withtheairofsaying:'Notwithstandingallthesesurroundings，Iamyoursasyet，George。Howlongitmaylastisanotherquestion，butIamyoursasyet。'Shealsobenignantlyintimatedtohim，aloud，thenatureoftheobjectsuponwhichhelooked，andtowhichhewasunaccustomed:as，'Exotics，George，''Anaviary，George，''Anormoluclock，George，'andthelike。While，throughthewholeofthedecorations，MrsWilferledthewaywiththebearingofaSavageChief，whowouldfeelhimselfcompromisedbymanifestingtheslightesttokenofsurpriseoradmiration。
　　Indeed，thebearingofthisimpressivewoman，throughouttheday，wasapatterntoallimpressivewomenundersimilarcircumstances。SherenewedtheacquaintanceofMrandMrsBoffin，asifMrandMrsBoffinhadsaidofherwhatshehadsaidofthem，andasifTimealonecouldquitewearherinjuryout。Sheregardedeveryservantwhoapproachedher，asherswornenemy，expresslyintendingtoofferheraffrontswiththedishes，andtopourforthoutragesonhermoralfeelingsfromthedecanters。Shesaterectattable，ontherighthandofherson-in-law，ashalfsuspectingpoisonintheviands，andasbearingupwithnativeforceofcharacteragainstotherdeadlyambushes。HercarriagetowardsBellawasasacarriagetowardsayoungladyofgoodposition，whomshehadmetinsocietyafewyearsago。Evenwhen，slightlythawingundertheinfluenceofsparklingchampagne，sherelatedtoherson-in-lawsomepassagesofdomesticinterestconcerningherpapa，sheinfusedintothenarrativesuchArcticsuggestionsofherhavingbeenanunappreciatedblessingtomankind，sinceherpapa'sdays，andalsoofthatgentleman'shavingbeenafrostyimpersonationofafrostyrace，asstruckcoldtotheverysolesofthefeetofthehearers。TheInexhaustiblebeingproduced，staring，andevidentlyintendingaweakandwashysmileshortly，nosoonerbeheldher，thanitwasstrickenspasmodicandinconsolable。Whenshetookherleaveatlast，itwouldhavebeenhardtosaywhetheritwaswiththeairofgoingtothescaffoldherself，orofleavingtheinmatesofthehouseforimmediateexecution。Yet，JohnHarmonenjoyeditallmerrily，andtoldhiswife，whenheandshewerealone，thathernaturalwayshadneverseemedsodearlynaturalasbesidethisfoil，andthatalthoughhedidnotdisputeherbeingherfather'sdaughter，heshouldeverremainstedfastinthefaiththatshecouldnotbehermother's。
　　Thisvisitwas，ashasbeensaid，agrandevent。Anotherevent，notgrandbutdeemedinthehouseaspecialone，occurredataboutthesameperiod；andthiswas，thefirstinterviewbetweenMrSloppyandMissWren。
　　Thedolls'dressmaker，beingatworkfortheInexhaustibleuponafull-dresseddollsometwosizeslargerthanthatyoungperson，MrSloppyundertooktocallforit，anddidso。
　　'Comein，sir，'saidMissWren，whowasworkingatherbench。
　　'Andwhomayyoube?'
　　MrSloppyintroducedhimselfbynameandbuttons。
　　'Ohindeed！'criedJenny。'Ah！Ihavebeenlookingforwardtoknowingyou。Iheardofyourdistinguishingyourself。'
　　'Didyou，Miss?'grinnedSloppy。'IamsureIamgladtohearit，butIdon'tknowhow。'
　　'Pitchingsomebodyintoamud-cart，'saidMissWren。
　　'Oh！Thatway！'criedSloppy。'Yes，Miss。'Andthrewbackhisheadandlaughed。
　　'Blessus！'exclaimedMissWren，withastart。'Don'topenyourmouthaswideasthat，youngman，orit'llcatchso，andnotshutagainsomeday。'
　　MrSloppyopenedit，ifpossible，wider，andkeptitopenuntilhislaughwasout。
　　'Why，you'relikethegiant，'saidMissWren，'whenhecamehomeinthelandofBeanstalk，andwantedJackforsupper。'
　　'Washegood-looking，Miss?'askedSloppy。
　　'No，'saidMissWren。'Ugly。'
　　Hervisitorglancedroundtheroom——whichhadmanycomfortsinitnow，thathadnotbeeninitbefore——andsaid:'Thisisaprettyplace，Miss。'
　　'Gladyouthinkso，sir，'returnedMissWren。'AndwhatdoyouthinkofMe?'
　　ThehonestyofMrSloppybeingseverelytaxedbythequestion，hetwistedabutton，grinned，andfaltered。
　　'Outwithit！'saidMissWren，withanarchlook。'Don'tyouthinkmeaqueerlittlecomicality?'Inshakingherheadathimafteraskingthequestion，sheshookherhairdown。
　　'Oh！'criedSloppy，inaburstofadmiration。'Whatalot，andwhatacolour！'
　　MissWren，withherusualexpressivehitch，wentonwithherwork。But，leftherhairasitwas；notdispleasedbytheeffectithadmade。
　　'Youdon'tliveherealone；doyou，Miss?'askedSloppy。
　　'No，'saidMissWren，withachop。'Liveherewithmyfairygodmother。'
　　'With；'MrSloppycouldn'tmakeitout；'withwhodidyousay，Miss?'
　　'Well！'repliedMissWren，moreseriously。'Withmysecondfather。
　　Orwithmyfirst，forthatmatter。'Andsheshookherhead，anddrewasigh。'IfyouhadknownapoorchildIusedtohavehere，'
　　sheadded，'you'dhaveunderstoodme。Butyoudidn't，andyoucan't。Allthebetter！'
　　'Youmusthavebeentaughtalongtime，'saidSloppy，glancingatthearrayofdollsinhand，'beforeyoucametoworksoneatly，Miss，andwithsuchaprettytaste。'
　　'Neverwastaughtastitch，youngman！'returnedthedress-maker，tossingherhead。'Justgobbledandgobbled，tillIfoundouthowtodoit。Badlyenoughatfirst，butbetternow。'
　　'AndherehaveI，'saidSloppy，insomethingofaself-reproachfultone，'beenalearningandalearning，andherehasMrBoffinbeenapayingandapaying，eversolong！'
　　'Ihaveheardwhatyourtradeis，'observedMissWren；'it'scabinet-making。'
　　MrSloppynodded。'NowthattheMoundsisdonewith，itis。I'lltellyouwhat，Miss。Ishouldliketomakeyousomething。'
　　'Muchobliged。Butwhat?'
　　'Icouldmakeyou，'saidSloppy，surveyingtheroom，'Icouldmakeyouahandysetofneststolaythedollsin。OrIcouldmakeyouahandylittlesetofdrawers，tokeepyoursilksandthreadsandscrapsin。OrIcouldturnyouararehandleforthatcrutch-stick，ifitbelongstohimyoucallyourfather。'
　　'Itbelongstome，'returnedthelittlecreature，withaquickflushofherfaceandneck。'Iamlame。'
　　PoorSloppyflushedtoo，fortherewasaninstinctivedelicacybehindhisbuttons，andhisownhandhadstruckit。Hesaid，perhaps，thebestthinginthewayofamendsthatcouldbesaid。'I
　　amverygladit'syours，becauseI'dratherornamentitforyouthanforanyoneelse。PleasemayIlookatit?'
　　MissWrenwasintheactofhandingittohimoverherbench，whenshepaused。'Butyouhadbetterseemeuseit，'shesaid，sharply。'Thisistheway。Hoppetty，Kicketty，Pep-peg-peg。Notpretty；isit?'
　　'Itseemstomethatyouhardlywantitatall，'saidSloppy。
　　Thelittledressmakersatdownagain，andgaveitintohishand，saying，withthatbetterlookuponher，andwithasmile:'Thankyou！'
　　'Andasconcerningthenestsandthedrawers，'saidSloppy，aftermeasuringthehandleonhissleeve，andsoftlystandingthestickasideagainstthewall，'why，itwouldbearealpleasuretome。I'veheerdtellthatyoucansingmostbeautiful；andIshouldbebetterpaidwithasongthanwithanymoney，forIalwayslovedthelikesofthat，andoftengiv'MrsHigdenandJohnnyacomicsongmyself，with“Spoken“init。Thoughthat'snotyoursort，I'llwager。'
　　'Youareaverykindyoungman，'returnedthedressmaker；'areallykindyoungman。Iacceptyouroffer——IsupposeHewon'tmind，'
　　sheaddedasanafterthought，shrugginghershoulders；'andifhedoes，hemay！'
　　'Meaninghimthatyoucallyourfather，Miss，'askedSloppy。
　　'No，no，'repliedMissWren。'Him，Him，Him！'
　　'Him，him，him?'repeatedSloppy；staringabout，asifforHim。
　　'Himwhoiscomingtocourtandmarryme，'returnedMissWren。
　　'Dearme，howslowyouare！'
　　'Oh！HIM！'saidSloppy。Andseemedtoturnthoughtfulandalittletroubled。'Ineverthoughtofhim。Whenishecoming，Miss?'
　　'Whataquestion！'criedMissWren。'HowshouldIknow！'
　　'Whereishecomingfrom，Miss?'
　　'Why，goodgracious，howcanItell！Heiscomingfromsomewhereorother，Isuppose，andheiscomingsomedayorother，Isuppose。Idon'tknowanymoreabouthim，atpresent。'
　　ThistickledMrSloppyasanextraordinarilygoodjoke，andhethrewbackhisheadandlaughedwithmeasurelessenjoyment。Atthesightofhimlaughinginthatabsurdway，thedolls'dressmakerlaughedveryheartilyindeed。Sotheybothlaughed，tilltheyweretired。
　　'There，there，there！'saidMissWren。'Forgoodness'sake，stop，Giant，orIshallbeswallowedupalive，beforeIknowit。Andtothisminuteyouhaven'tsaidwhatyou'vecomefor。'
　　'IhavecomeforlittleMissHarmonsesdoll，'saidSloppy。
　　'Ithoughtasmuch，'remarkedMissWren，'andhereislittleMissHarmonsesdollwaitingforyou。She'sfoldedupinsilverpaper，yousee，asifshewaswrappedfromheadtofootinnewBanknotes。Takecareofher，andthere'smyhand，andthankyouagain。'
　　'I'lltakemorecareofherthanifshewasagoldimage，'saidSloppy，'andthere'sbothMYhands，Miss，andI'llsooncomebackagain。'
　　But，thegreatesteventofall，inthenewlifeofMrandMrsJohnHarmon，wasavisitfromMrandMrsEugeneWrayburn。SadlywanandwornwastheoncegallantEugene，andwalkedrestingonhiswife'sarm，andleaningheavilyuponastick。But，hewasdailygrowingstrongerandbetter，anditwasdeclaredbythemedicalattendantsthathemightnotbemuchdisfiguredby-and-by。Itwasagrandevent，indeed，whenMrandMrsEugeneWrayburncametostayatMrandMrsJohnHarmon'shouse:where，bytheway，MrandMrsBoffinexquisitelyhappy，anddailycruisingabout，tolookatshops，werelikewisestayingindefinitely。
　　ToMrEugeneWrayburn，inconfidence，didMrsJohnHarmonimpartwhatshehadknownofthestateofhiswife'saffections，inhisrecklesstime。AndtoMrsJohnHarmon，inconfidence，didMrEugeneWrayburnimpartthat，pleaseGod，sheshouldseehowhiswifehadchangedhim！
　　'Imakenoprotestations，'saidEugene；'——whodoes，whomeansthem！——Ihavemadearesolution。'
　　'Butwouldyoubelieve，Bella，'interposedhiswife，comingtoresumehernurse'splaceathisside，forhenevergotonwellwithouther:'thatonourweddingdayhetoldmehealmostthoughtthebestthinghecoulddo，wastodie?'
　　'AsIdidn'tdoit，Lizzie，'saidEugene，'I'lldothatbetterthingyousuggested——foryoursake。'
　　Thatsameafternoon，Eugenelyingonhiscouchinhisownroomupstairs，Lightwoodcametochatwithhim，whileBellatookhiswifeoutforaride。'Nothingshortofforcewillmakehergo，Eugenehadsaid；so，Bellahadplayfullyforcedher。
　　'Dearoldfellow，'EugenebeganwithLightwood，reachinguphishand，'youcouldn'thavecomeatabettertime，formymindisfull，andIwanttoemptyit。First，ofmypresent，beforeItouchuponmyfuture。M。R。F。，whoisamuchyoungercavalierthanI，andaprofessedadmirerofbeauty，wassoaffableastoremarktheotherdayhepaidusavisitoftwodaysuptheriverthere，andmuchobjectedtotheaccommodationofthehotel，thatLizzieoughttohaveherportraitpainted。Which，comingfromM。R。F。，maybeconsideredequivalenttoamelodramaticblessing。'
　　'Youaregettingwell，'saidMortimer，withasmile。
　　'Really，'saidEugene，'Imeanit。WhenM。R。F。saidthat，andfolloweditupbyrollingtheclaretforwhichhecalled，andI
　　paid，inhismouth，andsaying，“Mydearson，whydoyoudrinkthistrash?“itwastantamountinhim——toapaternalbenedictiononourunion，accompaniedwithagushoftears。ThecoolnessofM。R。F。isnottobemeasuredbyordinarystandards。'
　　'Trueenough，'saidLightwood。
　　'That'sall，'pursuedEugene，'thatIshalleverhearfromM。R。F。
　　onthesubject，andhewillcontinuetosaunterthroughtheworldwithhishatononeside。Mymarriagebeingthussolemnlyrecognizedatthefamilyaltar，Ihavenofurthertroubleonthatscore。Next，youreallyhavedonewondersforme，Mortimer，ineasingmymoney-perplexities，andwithsuchaguardianandstewardbesideme，asthepreserverofmylifeIamhardlystrongyet，yousee，forIamnotmanenoughtorefertoherwithoutatremblingvoice——sheissoinexpressiblydeartome，Mortimer！，thelittlethatIcancallmyownwillbemorethaniteverhasbeen。
　　Itneedbemore，foryouknowwhatitalwayshasbeeninmyhands。Nothing。'
　　'Worsethannothing，Ifancy，Eugene。MyownsmallincomeI
　　devoutlywishthatmygrandfatherhadleftittotheOceanratherthantome！hasbeenaneffectiveSomething，inthewayofpreventingmefromturningtoatAnything。AndIthinkyourshasbeenmuchthesame。'
　　'Therespakethevoiceofwisdom，'saidEugene。'Weareshepherdsboth。Inturningtoatlast，weturntoinearnest。Letussaynomoreofthat，forafewyearstocome。Now，Ihavehadanidea，Mortimer，oftakingmyselfandmywifetooneofthecolonies，andworkingatmyvocationthere。'
　　'Ishouldbelostwithoutyou，Eugene；butyoumayberight。'
　　'No，'saidEugene，emphatically。'Notright。Wrong！'
　　Hesaiditwithsuchalively——almostangry——flash，thatMortimershowedhimselfgreatlysurprised。
　　'Youthinkthisthumpedheadofmineisexcited?'Eugenewenton，withahighlook；'notso，believeme。IcansaytoyouofthehealthfulmusicofmypulsewhatHamletsaidofhis。Mybloodisup，butwholesomelyup，whenIthinkofit。Tellme！ShallIturncowardtoLizzie，andsneakawaywithher，asifIwereashamedofher！Wherewouldyourfriend'spartinthisworldbe，Mortimer，ifshehadturnedcowardtohim，andonimmeasurablybetteroccasion?'
　　'Honourableandstanch，'saidLightwood。'Andyet，Eugene——'
　　'Andyetwhat，Mortimer?'
　　'Andyet，areyousurethatyoumightnotfeelforhersake，Isayforhersakeanyslightcoldnesstowardsheronthepartof——
　　Society?'
　　'O！YouandImaywellstumbleattheword，'returnedEugene，laughing。'DowemeanourTippins?'
　　'Perhapswedo，'saidMortimer，laughingalso。
　　'Faith，weDO！'returnedEugene，withgreatanimation。'Wemayhidebehindthebushandbeataboutit，butweDO！Now，mywifeissomethingnearertomyheart，Mortimer，thanTippinsis，andI
　　oweheralittlemorethanIowetoTippins，andIamratherprouderofherthanIeverwasofTippins。Therefore，Iwillfightitouttothelastgasp，withherandforher，here，intheopenfield。
　　WhenIhideher，orstrikeforher，faint-heartedly，inaholeoracorner，doyouwhomIlovenextbestuponearth，tellmewhatI
　　shallmostrighteouslydeservetobetold:——thatshewouldhavedonewelltoturnmeoverwithherfootthatnightwhenIlaybleedingtodeath，andspatinmydastardface。'
　　Theglowthatshoneuponhimashespokethewords，soirradiatedhisfeaturesthathelooked，forthetime，asthoughhehadneverbeenmutilated。HisfriendrespondedasEugenewouldhavehadhimrespond，andtheydiscoursedofthefutureuntilLizziecameback。Afterresumingherplaceathisside，andtenderlytouchinghishandsandhishead，shesaid:
　　'Eugene，dear，youmademegoout，butIoughttohavestayedwithyou。Youaremoreflushedthanyouhavebeenformanydays。
　　Whathaveyoubeendoing?'
　　'Nothing，'repliedEugene，'butlookingforwardtoyourcomingback。'
　　'AndtalkingtoMrLightwood，'saidLizzie，turningtohimwithasmile。'ButitcannothavebeenSocietythatdisturbedyou。'
　　'Faith，mydearlove！'retortedEugene，inhisoldairymanner，ashelaughedandkissedher，'IratherthinkitWASSocietythough！'
　　ThewordransomuchinMortimerLightwood'sthoughtsashewenthometotheTemplethatnight，thatheresolvedtotakealookatSociety，whichhehadnotseenforaconsiderableperiod。
　　Chapter17
　　THEVOICEOFSOCIETY
　　BehovesMortimerLightwood，therefore，toansweradinnercardfromMrandMrsVeneeringrequestingthehonour，andtosignifythatMrMortimerLightwoodwillbehappytohavetheotherhonour。TheVeneeringshavebeen，asusual，indefatigablydealingdinnercardstoSociety，andwhoeverdesirestotakeahandhadbestbequickaboutit，foritiswrittenintheBooksoftheInsolventFatesthatVeneeringshallmakearesoundingsmashnextweek。
　　Yes。Havingfoundoutthecluetothatgreatmysteryhowpeoplecancontrivetolivebeyondtheirmeans，andhavingover-jobbedhisjobberiesaslegislatordeputedtotheUniversebythepureelectorsofPocket-Breaches，itshallcometopassnextweekthatVeneeringwillaccepttheChilternHundreds，thatthelegalgentlemaninBritannia'sconfidencewillagainacceptthePocket-
　　BreachesThousands，andthattheVeneeringswillretiretoCalais，theretoliveonMrsVeneering'sdiamondsinwhichMrVeneering，asagoodhusband，hasfromtimetotimeinvestedconsiderablesums，andtorelatetoNeptuneandothers，howthat，beforeVeneeringretiredfromParliament，theHouseofCommonswascomposedofhimselfandthesixhundredandfifty-sevendearestandoldestfriendshehadintheworld。Itshalllikewisecometopass，atasnearlyaspossiblethesameperiod，thatSocietywilldiscoverthatitalwaysdiddespiseVeneering，anddistrustVeneering，andthatwhenitwenttoVeneering'stodinneritalwayshadmisgivings——thoughverysecretlyatthetime，itwouldseem，andinaperfectlyprivateandconfidentialmanner。
　　Thenextweek'sbooksoftheInsolventFates，however，beingnotyetopened，thereistheusualrushtotheVeneerings，ofthepeoplewhogototheirhousetodinewithoneanotherandnotwiththem。
　　ThereisLadyTippins。TherearePodsnaptheGreat，andMrsPodsnap。ThereisTwemlow。ThereareBuffer，Boots，andBrewer。ThereistheContractor，whoisProvidencetofivehundredthousandmen。ThereistheChairman，travellingthreethousandmilesperweek。Thereisthebrilliantgeniuswhoturnedthesharesintothatremarkablyexactsumofthreehundredandseventyfivethousandpounds，noshillings，andnopence。
　　Towhom，addMortimerLightwood，cominginamongthemwithareassumptionofhisoldlanguidair，foundedonEugene，andbelongingtothedayswhenhetoldthestoryofthemanfromSomewhere。
　　Thatfreshfairy，Tippins，allbutscreamsatsightofherfalseswain。Shesummonsthedesertertoherwithherfan；butthedeserter，predeterminednottocome，talksBritainwithPodsnap。
　　PodsnapalwaystalksBritain，andtalksasifhewereasortofPrivateWatchmanemployed，intheBritishinterests，againsttherestoftheworld。'WeknowwhatRussiameans，sir，'saysPodsnap；'weknowwhatFrancewants；weseewhatAmericaisupto；butweknowwhatEnglandis。That'senoughforus。'
　　However，whendinnerisserved，andLightwooddropsintohisoldplaceoveragainstLadyTippins，shecanbefendedoffnolonger。
　　'LongbanishedRobinsonCrusoe，'saysthecharmer，exchangingsalutations，'howdidyouleavetheIsland?'
　　'Thankyou，'saysLightwood。'Itmadenocomplaintofbeinginpainanywhere。'
　　'Say，howdidyouleavethesavages?'asksLadyTippins。
　　'TheywerebecomingcivilizedwhenIleftJuanFernandez，'saysLightwood。'Atleasttheywereeatingoneanother，whichlookedlikeit。'
　　'Tormentor！'returnsthedearyoungcreature。'YouknowwhatI
　　mean，andyoutriflewithmyimpatience。Tellmesomething，immediately，aboutthemarriedpair。Youwereatthewedding。'
　　'WasI，by-the-by?'Mortimerpretends，atgreatleisure，toconsider。
　　'SoIwas！'
　　'Howwasthebridedressed?Inrowingcostume?'
　　Mortimerlooksgloomy，anddeclinestoanswer。
　　'Ihopeshesteeredherself，skiffedherself，paddledherself，larboardedandstarboardedherself，orwhateverthetechnicaltermmaybe，totheceremony?'proceedstheplayfulTippins。
　　'Howevershegottoit，shegracedit，'saysMortimer。
　　LadyTippinswithaskittishlittlescream，attractsthegeneralattention。'Gracedit！TakecareofmeifIfaint，Veneering。Hemeanstotellus，thatahorridfemalewatermanisgraceful！'
　　'Pardonme。Imeantotellyounothing，LadyTippins，'repliesLightwood。Andkeepshiswordbyeatinghisdinnerwithashowoftheutmostindifference。
　　'Youshallnotescapemeinthisway，youmorosebackwoodsman，'retortsLadyTippins。'Youshallnotevadethequestion，toscreenyourfriendEugene，whohasmadethisexhibitionofhimself。TheknowledgeshallbebroughthometoyouthatsucharidiculousaffairiscondemnedbythevoiceofSociety。MydearMrsVeneering，doletusresolveourselvesintoaCommitteeofthewholeHouseonthesubject。'
　　MrsVeneering，alwayscharmedbythisrattlingsylph，cries。'Ohyes！DoletusresolveourselvesintoaCommitteeofthewholeHouse！Sodelicious！'Veneeringsays，'Asmanyasareofthatopinion，sayAye，——contrary，No——theAyeshaveit。'Butnobodytakestheslightestnoticeofhisjoke。
　　'Now，IamChairwomanofCommittees！'criesLadyTippins。
　　'Whatspiritsshehas！'exclaimsMrsVeneering；towhomlikewisenobodyattends。
　　'Andthis，'pursuesthesprightlyone，'isaCommitteeofthewholeHousetowhat-you-may-call-it——elicit，Isuppose——thevoiceofSociety。ThequestionbeforetheCommitteeis，whetherayoungmanofveryfairfamily，goodappearance，andsometalent，makesafoolorawisemanofhimselfinmarryingafemalewaterman，turnedfactorygirl。'
　　'Hardlyso，Ithink，'thestubbornMortimerstrikesin。'Itakethequestiontobe，whethersuchamanasyoudescribe，LadyTippins，doesrightorwronginmarryingabravewomanIsaynothingofherbeauty，whohassavedhislife，withawonderfulenergyandaddress；whomheknowstobevirtuous，andpossessedofremarkablequalities；whomhehaslongadmired，andwhoisdeeplyattachedtohim。'
　　'But，excuseme，'saysPodsnap，withhistemperandhisshirt-collaraboutequallyrumpled；'wasthisyoungwomaneverafemalewaterman?'
　　'Never。Butshesometimesrowedinaboatwithherfather，I
　　believe。'
　　Generalsensationagainsttheyoungwoman。Brewershakeshishead。Bootsshakeshishead。Buffershakeshishead。
　　'Andnow，MrLightwood，wassheever，'pursuesPodsnap，withhisindignationrisinghighintothosehair-brushesofhis，'afactorygirl?'
　　'Never。Butshehadsomeemploymentinapapermill，Ibelieve。'
　　Generalsensationrepeated。Brewersays，'Ohdear！'Bootssays，'Ohdear！'Buffersays，'Ohdear！'All，inarumblingtoneofprotest。
　　'ThenallIhavetosayis，'returnsPodsnap，puttingthethingawaywithhisrightarm，'thatmygorgerisesagainstsuchamarriage——
　　thatitoffendsanddisgustsme——thatitmakesmesick——andthatI
　　desiretoknownomoreaboutit。'
　　'NowIwonder，'thinksMortimer，amused，'whetherYOUaretheVoiceofSociety！'
　　'Hear，hear，hear！'criesLadyTippins。'YouropinionofthisMESALLIANCE，honourablecolleaguesofthehonourablememberwhohasjustsatdown?'
　　MrsPodsnapisofopinionthatinthesemattersthereshouldbeanequalityofstationandfortune，andthatamanaccustomedtoSocietyshouldlookoutforawomanaccustomedtoSocietyandcapableofbearingherpartinitwith——aneaseandeleganceofcarriage——that。'MrsPodsnapstopsthere，delicatelyintimatingthateverysuchmanshouldlookoutforafinewomanasnearlyresemblingherselfashemayhopetodiscover。
　　'NowIwonder，'thinksMortimer，'whetheryouaretheVoice！'
　　LadyTippinsnextcanvassestheContractor，offivehundredthousandpower。Itappearstothispotentate，thatwhatthemaninquestionshouldhavedone，wouldhavebeen，tobuytheyoungwomanaboatandasmallannuity，andsetherupforherself。
　　Thesethingsareaquestionofbeefsteaksandporter。Youbuytheyoungwomanaboat。Verygood。Youbuyher，atthesametime，asmallannuity。Youspeakofthatannuityinpoundssterling，butitisinrealitysomanypoundsofbeefsteaksandsomanypintsofporter。Ontheonehand，theyoungwomanhastheboat。Ontheotherhand，sheconsumessomanypoundsofbeefsteaksandsomanypintsofporter。Thosebeefsteaksandthatporterarethefueltothatyoungwoman'sengine。Shederivestherefromacertainamountofpowertorowtheboat；thatpowerwillproducesomuchmoney；youaddthattothesmallannuity；andthusyougetattheyoungwoman'sincome。ThatitseemstotheContractoristhewayoflookingatit。
　　Thefairenslaverhavingfallenintooneofhergentlesleepsduringthelastexposition，nobodylikestowakeher。Fortunately，shecomesawakeofherself，andputsthequestiontotheWanderingChairman。TheWanderercanonlyspeakofthecaseasifitwerehisown。Ifsuchayoungwomanastheyoungwomandescribed，hadsavedhisownlife，hewouldhavebeenverymuchobligedtoher，wouldn'thavemarriedher，andwouldhavegotheraberthinanElectricTelegraphOffice，whereyoungwomenanswerverywell。
　　WhatdoestheGeniusofthethreehundredandseventy-fivethousandpounds，noshillings，andnopence，think?Hecan'tsaywhathethinks，withoutasking:Hadtheyoungwomananymoney?
　　'No，'saysLightwood，inanuncompromisingvoice；'nomoney。'
　　'Madnessandmoonshine，'isthenthecompressedverdictoftheGenius。'Amanmaydoanythinglawful，formoney。Butfornomoney！——Bosh！'
　　WhatdoesBootssay?
　　Bootssayshewouldn'thavedoneitundertwentythousandpound。
　　WhatdoesBrewersay?
　　BrewersayswhatBootssays。
　　WhatdoesBuffersay?
　　Buffersaysheknowsamanwhomarriedabathing-woman，andbolted。
　　LadyTippinsfanciesshehascollectedthesuffragesofthewholeCommitteenobodydreamingofaskingtheVeneeringsfortheiropinion，when，lookingroundthetablethroughhereyeglass，sheperceivesMrTwemlowwithhishandtohisforehead。
　　Goodgracious！MyTwemlowforgotten！Mydearest！Myown！
　　Whatishisvote?
　　Twemlowhastheairofbeingillatease，ashetakeshishandfromhisforeheadandreplies。
　　'Iamdisposedtothink，'sayshe，'thatthisisaquestionofthefeelingsofagentleman。'
　　'Agentlemancanhavenofeelingswhocontractssuchamarriage，'
　　flushesPodsnap。
　　'Pardonme，sir，'saysTwemlow，ratherlessmildlythanusual，'I
　　don'tagreewithyou。Ifthisgentleman'sfeelingsofgratitude，ofrespect，ofadmiration，andaffection，inducedhimasIpresumetheydidtomarrythislady——'
　　'Thislady！'echoesPodsnap。
　　'Sir，'returnsTwemlow，withhiswristbandsbristlingalittle，'YOU
　　repeattheword；Irepeattheword。Thislady。Whatelsewouldyoucallher，ifthegentlemanwerepresent?'
　　ThisbeingsomethinginthenatureofaposerforPodsnap，hemerelywavesitawaywithaspeechlesswave。
　　'Isay，'resumesTwemlow，'ifsuchfeelingsonthepartofthisgentleman，inducedthisgentlemantomarrythislady，Ithinkheisthegreatergentlemanfortheaction，andmakesherthegreaterlady。Ibegtosay，thatwhenIusetheword，gentleman，Iuseitinthesenseinwhichthedegreemaybeattainedbyanyman。ThefeelingsofagentlemanIholdsacred，andIconfessIamnotcomfortablewhentheyaremadethesubjectofsportorgeneraldiscussion。'
　　'Ishouldliketoknow，'sneersPodsnap，'whetheryournoblerelationwouldbeofyouropinion。'
　　'MrPodsnap，'retortsTwemlow，'permitme。Hemightbe，orhemightnotbe。Icannotsay。But，Icouldnotallowevenhimtodictatetomeonapointofgreatdelicacy，onwhichIfeelverystrongly。'
　　Somehow，acanopyofwetblanketseemstodescenduponthecompany，andLadyTippinswasneverknowntoturnsoverygreedyorsoverycross。MortimerLightwoodalonebrightens。
　　Hehasbeenaskinghimself，astoeveryothermemberoftheCommitteeinturn，'IwonderwhetheryouaretheVoice！'ButhedoesnotaskhimselfthequestionafterTwemlowhasspoken，andheglancesinTwemlow'sdirectionasifheweregrateful。Whenthecompanydisperse——bywhichtimeMrandMrsVeneeringhavehadquiteasmuchastheywantofthehonour，andtheguestshavehadquiteasmuchasTHEYwantoftheotherhonour——MortimerseesTwemlowhome，shakeshandswithhimcordiallyatparting，andfarestotheTemple，gaily。