首页 >出版文学> Night and Day>第13章

第13章

  Wasitlastnight?HaveIbeenoutlong?What'sthetime?“Shesprangforwardtocatchsightofaclock,asiftheexacttimehadsomeimportantbearingonhercase。
  “Onlyhalf-pasteight!“sheexclaimed。“Thenhemaybetherestill。“
  Sheleantoutofthewindowandtoldthecabmantodrivefaster。
  “Butifhe'snotthere,whatshallIdo?WherecouldIfindhim?Thestreetsaresocrowded。“
  “Weshallfindhim,“Maryrepeated。
  Maryhadnodoubtbutthatsomehoworothertheywouldfindhim。Butsupposetheydidfindhim?ShebegantothinkofRalphwithasortofstrangeness,inherefforttounderstandhowhecouldbecapableofsatisfyingthisextraordinarydesire。Oncemoreshethoughtherselfbacktoheroldviewofhimandcould,withaneffort,recallthehazewhichsurroundedhisfigure,andthesenseofconfused,heightenedexhilarationwhichlayallabouthisneighborhood,sothatformonthsatatimeshehadneverexactlyheardhisvoiceorseenhisface——orsoitnowseemedtoher。Thepainofherlossshotthroughher。
  Nothingwouldevermakeup——notsuccess,orhappiness,oroblivion。
  Butthispangwasimmediatelyfollowedbytheassurancethatnow,atanyrate,sheknewthetruth;andKatharine,shethought,stealingalookather,didnotknowthetruth;yes,Katharinewasimmenselytobepitied。
  Thecab,whichhadbeencaughtinthetraffic,wasnowliberatedandspedondownSloaneStreet。MarywasconsciousofthetensionwithwhichKatharinemarkeditsprogress,asifhermindwerefixeduponapointinfrontofthem,andmarked,secondbysecond,theirapproachtoit。Shesaidnothing,andinsilenceMarybegantofixhermind,insympathyatfirst,andlaterinforgetfulnessofhercompanion,uponapointinfrontofthem。Sheimaginedapointdistantasalowstaruponthehorizonofthedark。Thereforhertoo,forthemboth,wasthegoalforwhichtheywerestriving,andtheendfortheardorsoftheirspiritswasthesame:butwhereitwas,orwhatitwas,orwhyshefeltconvincedthattheywereunitedinsearchofit,astheydroveswiftlydownthestreetsofLondonsidebyside,shecouldnothavesaid。
  “Atlast,“Katharinebreathed,asthecabdrewupatthedoor。Shejumpedoutandscannedthepavementoneitherside。Mary,meanwhile,rangthebell。ThedooropenedasKatharineassuredherselfthatnooneofthepeoplewithinviewhadanylikenesstoRalph。Onseeingher,themaidsaidatonce:
  “Mr。Denhamcalledagain,miss。Hehasbeenwaitingforyouforsometime。“
  KatharinevanishedfromMary'ssight。Thedoorshutbetweenthem,andMarywalkedslowlyandthoughtfullyupthestreetalone。
  Katharineturnedatoncetothedining-room。Butwithherfingersuponthehandle,sheheldback。Perhapssherealizedthatthiswasamomentwhichwouldnevercomeagain。Perhaps,forasecond,itseemedtoherthatnorealitycouldequaltheimaginationshehadformed。Perhapsshewasrestrainedbysomevaguefearoranticipation,whichmadeherdreadanyexchangeorinterruption。Butifthesedoubtsandfearsorthissupremeblissrestrainedher,itwasonlyforamoment。Inanothersecondshehadturnedthehandleand,bitingherliptocontrolherself,sheopenedthedooruponRalphDenham。Anextraordinaryclearnessofsightseemedtopossessheronbeholdinghim。Solittle,sosingle,soseparatefromallelseheappeared,whohadbeenthecauseoftheseextremeagitationsandaspirations。Shecouldhavelaughedinhisface。But,gaininguponthisclearnessofsightagainstherwill,andtoherdislike,wasafloodofconfusion,ofrelief,ofcertainty,ofhumility,ofdesirenolongertostriveandtodiscriminate,yieldingtowhich,sheletherselfsinkwithinhisarmsandconfessedherlove。
  CHAPTERXXXII
  NobodyaskedKatharineanyquestionsnextday。Ifcross-examinedshemighthavesaidthatnobodyspoketoher。Sheworkedalittle,wrotealittle,orderedthedinner,andsat,forlongerthansheknew,withherheadonherhandpiercingwhateverlaybeforeher,whetheritwasaletteroradictionary,asifitwereafilmuponthedeepprospectsthatrevealedthemselvestoherkindlingandbroodingeyes。Sheroseonce,andgoingtothebookcase,tookoutherfather'sGreekdictionaryandspreadthesacredpagesofsymbolsandfiguresbeforeher。Shesmoothedthesheetswithamixtureofaffectionateamusementandhope。Wouldothereyeslookonthemwithheroneday?Thethought,longintolerable,wasnowjustbearable。
  Shewasquiteunawareoftheanxietywithwhichhermovementswerewatchedandherexpressionscanned。Cassandrawascarefulnottobecaughtlookingather,andtheirconversationwassoprosaicthatwereitnotforcertainjoltsandjerksbetweenthesentences,asifthemindwerekeptwithdifficultytotherails,Mrs。Milvainherselfcouldhavedetectednothingofasuspiciousnatureinwhatsheoverheard。
  William,whenhecameinlatethatafternoonandfoundCassandraalone,hadaveryseriouspieceofnewstoimpart。HehadjustpassedKatharineinthestreetandshehadfailedtorecognizehim。
  “Thatdoesn'tmatterwithme,ofcourse,butsupposeithappenedwithsomebodyelse?Whatwouldtheythink?Theywouldsuspectsomethingmerelyfromherexpression。Shelooked——shelooked“——hehesitated——
  “likesomeonewalkinginhersleep。“
  ToCassandrathesignificantthingwasthatKatharinehadgoneoutwithouttellingher,andsheinterpretedthistomeanthatshehadgoneouttomeetRalphDenham。ButtohersurpriseWilliamdrewnocomfortfromthisprobability。
  “Oncethrowconventionsaside,“hebegan,“oncedothethingsthatpeopledon'tdo——“andthefactthatyouaregoingtomeetayoungmanisnolongerproofofanything,except,indeed,thatpeoplewilltalk。
  Cassandrasaw,notwithoutapangofjealousy,thathewasextremelysolicitousthatpeopleshouldnottalkaboutKatharine,asifhisinterestinherwerestillproprietaryratherthanfriendly。AstheywerebothignorantofRalph'svisitthenightbeforetheyhadnotthatreasontocomfortthemselveswiththethoughtthatmatterswerehasteningtoacrisis。TheseabsencesofKatharine's,moreover,leftthemexposedtointerruptionswhichalmostdestroyedtheirpleasureinbeingalonetogether。Therainyeveningmadeitimpossibletogoout;
  and,indeed,accordingtoWilliam'scode,itwasconsiderablymoredamningtobeseenoutofdoorsthansurprisedwithin。TheyweresomuchatthemercyofbellsanddoorsthattheycouldhardlytalkofMacaulaywithanyconviction,andWilliampreferredtodeferthesecondactofhistragedyuntilanotherday。
  UnderthesecircumstancesCassandrashowedherselfatherbest。ShesympathizedwithWilliam'sanxietiesanddidherutmosttosharethem;
  butstill,tobealonetogether,toberunningriskstogether,tobepartnersinthewonderfulconspiracy,wastohersoenthrallingthatshewasalwaysforgettingdiscretion,breakingoutintoexclamationsandadmirationswhichfinallymadeWilliambelievethat,althoughdeplorableandupsetting,thesituationwasnotwithoutitssweetness。
  Whenthedoordidopen,hestarted,butbravedtheforthcomingrevelation。ItwasnotMrs。Milvain,however,butKatharineherselfwhoentered,closelyfollowedbyRalphDenham。Withasetexpressionwhichshowedwhataneffortshewasmaking,Katharineencounteredtheireyes,andsaying,“We'renotgoingtointerruptyou,“sheledDenhambehindthecurtainwhichhunginfrontoftheroomwiththerelics。Thisrefugewasnoneofherwilling,butconfrontedwithwetpavementsandonlysomebelatedmuseumorTubestationforshelter,shewasforced,forRalph'ssake,tofacethediscomfortsofherownhouse。Underthestreetlampsshehadthoughthimlookingbothtiredandstrained。
  Thusseparated,thetwocouplesremainedoccupiedforsometimewiththeirownaffairs。Onlythelowestmurmurspenetratedfromonesectionoftheroomtotheother。AtlengththemaidcameintobringamessagethatMr。Hilberywouldnotbehomefordinner。ItwastruethattherewasnoneedthatKatharineshouldbeinformed,butWilliambegantoinquireCassandra'sopinioninsuchawayastoshowthat,withorwithoutreason,hewishedverymuchtospeaktoher。
  FrommotivesofherownCassandradissuadedhim。
  “Butdon'tyouthinkit'salittleunsociable?“hehazarded。“Whynotdosomethingamusing?——gototheplay,forinstance?WhynotaskKatharineandRalph,eh?“ThecouplingoftheirnamesinthismannercausedCassandra'shearttoleapwithpleasure。
  “Don'tyouthinktheymustbe——?“shebegan,butWilliamhastilytookherup。
  “Oh,Iknownothingaboutthat。Ionlythoughtwemightamuseourselves,asyouruncle'sout。“
  Heproceededonhisembassywithamixtureofexcitementandembarrassmentwhichcausedhimtoturnasidewithhishandonthecurtain,andtoexamineintentlyforseveralmomentstheportraitofalady,optimisticallysaidbyMrs。HilberytobeanearlyworkofSirJoshuaReynolds。Then,withsomeunnecessaryfumbling,hedrewasidethecurtain,andwithhiseyesfixedupontheground,repeatedhismessageandsuggestedthattheyshouldallspendtheeveningattheplay。Katharineacceptedthesuggestionwithsuchcordialitythatitwasstrangetofindherofnoclearmindastotheprecisespectacleshewishedtosee。SheleftthechoiceentirelytoRalphandWilliam,who,takingcounselfraternallyoveraneveningpaper,foundthemselvesinagreementastothemeritsofamusic-hall。Thisbeingarranged,everythingelsefollowedeasilyandenthusiastically。
  Cassandrahadneverbeentoamusic-hall。KatharineinstructedherinthepeculiardelightsofanentertainmentwherePolarbearsfollowdirectlyuponladiesinfulleveningdress,andthestageisalternatelyagardenofmystery,amilliner'sband-box,andafried-
  fishshopintheMileEndRoad。Whatevertheexactnatureoftheprogramthatnight,itfulfilledthehighestpurposesofdramaticart,sofar,atleast,asfouroftheaudiencewereconcerned。
  Nodoubttheactorsandtheauthorswouldhavebeensurprisedtolearninwhatshapetheireffortsreachedthoseparticulareyesandears;
  buttheycouldnothavedeniedthattheeffectasawholewastremendous。Thehallresoundedwithbrassandstrings,alternatelyofenormouspompandmajesty,andthenofsweetestlamentation。Theredsandcreamsofthebackground,thelyresandharpsandurnsandskulls,theprotuberancesofplaster,thefringesofscarletplush,thesinkingandblazingofinnumerableelectriclights,couldscarcelyhavebeensurpassedfordecorativeeffectbyanycraftsmanoftheancientormodernworld。
  Thentherewastheaudienceitself,bare-shouldered,tuftedandgarlandedinthestalls,decorousbutfestalinthebalconies,andfranklyfitfordaylightandstreetlifeinthegalleries。But,howevertheydifferedwhenlookedatseparately,theysharedthesamehuge,lovablenatureinthebulk,whichmurmuredandswayedandquiveredallthetimethedancingandjugglingandlove-makingwentoninfrontofit,slowlylaughedandreluctantlyleftofflaughing,andapplaudedwithahelter-skeltergenerositywhichsometimesbecameunanimousandoverwhelming。OnceWilliamsawKatharineleaningforwardandclappingherhandswithanabandonmentthatstartledhim。Herlaughrangoutwiththelaughteroftheaudience。
  Forasecondhewaspuzzled,asifthislaughterdisclosedsomethingthathehadneversuspectedinher。ButthenCassandra'sfacecaughthiseye,gazingwithastonishmentatthebuffoon,notlaughing,toodeeplyintentandsurprisedtolaughatwhatshesaw,andforsomemomentshewatchedherasifshewereachild。
  Theperformancecametoanend,theillusiondyingoutfirsthereandthenthere,assomerosetoputontheircoats,othersstooduprighttosalute“GodSavetheKing,“themusiciansfoldedtheirmusicandencasedtheirinstruments,andthelightssankonebyoneuntilthehousewasempty,silent,andfullofgreatshadows。LookingbackoverhershoulderasshefollowedRalphthroughtheswingdoors,Cassandramarveledtoseehowthestagewasalreadyentirelywithoutromance。
  But,shewondered,didtheyreallycoveralltheseatsinbrownhollandeverynight?
  Thesuccessofthisentertainmentwassuchthatbeforetheyseparatedanotherexpeditionhadbeenplannedforthenextday。ThenextdaywasSaturday;thereforebothWilliamandRalphwerefreetodevotethewholeafternoontoanexpeditiontoGreenwich,whichCassandrahadneverseen,andKatharineconfusedwithDulwich。OnthisoccasionRalphwastheirguide。HebroughtthemwithoutaccidenttoGreenwich。
  WhatexigenciesofstateorfantasiesofimaginationfirstgavebirthtotheclusterofpleasantplacesbywhichLondonissurroundedismatterofindifferencenowthattheyhaveadaptedthemselvessoadmirablytotheneedsofpeoplebetweentheagesoftwentyandthirtywithSaturdayafternoonstospend。Indeed,ifghostshaveanyinterestintheaffectionsofthosewhosucceedthemtheymustreaptheirrichestharvestswhenthefineweathercomesagainandthelovers,thesightseers,andtheholiday-makerspourthemselvesoutoftrainsandomnibusesintotheiroldpleasure-grounds。Itistruethattheygo,forthemostpart,unthankedbyname,althoughuponthisoccasionWilliamwasreadytogivesuchdiscriminatingpraiseasthedeadarchitectsandpaintersreceivedseldominthecourseoftheyear。
  Theywerewalkingbytheriverbank,andKatharineandRalph,laggingalittlebehind,caughtfragmentsofhislecture。Katharinesmiledatthesoundofhisvoice;shelistenedasifshefounditalittleunfamiliar,intimatelythoughsheknewit;shetestedit。Thenoteofassuranceandhappinesswasnew。Williamwasveryhappy。Shelearnteveryhourwhatsourcesofhishappinessshehadneglected。Shehadneveraskedhimtoteachheranything;shehadneverconsentedtoreadMacaulay;shehadneverexpressedherbeliefthathisplaywassecondonlytotheworksofShakespeare。Shefolloweddreamilyintheirwake,smilinganddelightinginthesoundwhichconveyed,sheknew,therapturousandyetnotservileassentofCassandra。
  Thenshemurmured,“HowcanCassandra——“butchangedhersentencetotheoppositeofwhatshemeanttosayandended,“howcouldsheherselfhavebeensoblind?“ButitwasunnecessarytofollowoutsuchriddleswhenthepresenceofRalphsuppliedherwithmoreinterestingproblems,whichsomehowbecameinvolvedwiththelittleboatcrossingtheriver,themajesticandcarewornCity,andthesteamershomecomingwiththeirtreasury,orstartinginsearchofit,sothatinfiniteleisurewouldbenecessaryfortheproperdisentanglementofonefromtheother。Hestopped,moreover,andbeganinquiringofanoldboatmanastothetidesandtheships。Inthustalkingheseemeddifferent,andevenlookeddifferent,shethought,againsttheriver,withthesteeplesandtowersforbackground。Hisstrangeness,hisromance,hispowertoleavehersideandtakepartintheaffairsofmen,thepossibilitythattheyshouldtogetherhireaboatandcrosstheriver,thespeedandwildnessofthisenterprisefilledhermindandinspiredherwithsuchrapture,halfofloveandhalfofadventure,thatWilliamandCassandrawerestartledfromtheirtalk,andCassandraexclaimed,“Shelooksasifshewereofferingupasacrifice!Verybeautiful,“sheaddedquickly,thoughsherepressed,indeferencetoWilliam,herownwonderthatthesightofRalphDenhamtalkingtoaboatmanonthebanksoftheThamescouldmoveanyonetosuchanattitudeofadoration。
  Thatafternoon,whatwithteaandthecuriositiesoftheThamestunnelandtheunfamiliarityofthestreets,passedsoquicklythattheonlymethodofprolongingitwastoplananotherexpeditionforthefollowingday。HamptonCourtwasdecidedupon,inpreferencetoHampstead,forthoughCassandrahaddreamtasachildofthebrigandsofHampstead,shehadnowtransferredheraffectionscompletelyandforevertoWilliamIII。Accordingly,theyarrivedatHamptonCourtaboutlunch-timeonafineSundaymorning。Suchunitymarkedtheirexpressionsofadmirationforthered-brickbuildingthattheymighthavecometherefornootherpurposethantoassureeachotherthatthispalacewasthestateliestpalaceintheworld。TheywalkedupanddowntheTerrace,fourabreast,andfanciedthemselvestheownersoftheplace,andcalculatedtheamountofgoodtotheworldproducedindubitablybysuchatenancy。
  “Theonlyhopeforus,“saidKatharine,“isthatWilliamshalldie,andCassandrashallbegivenroomsasthewidowofadistinguishedpoet。“
  “Or——“Cassandrabegan,butcheckedherselffromthelibertyofenvisagingKatharineasthewidowofadistinguishedlawyer。Uponthis,thethirddayofjunketing,itwastiresometohavetorestrainoneselfevenfromsuchinnocentexcursionsoffancy。ShedarednotquestionWilliam;hewasinscrutable;heneverseemedeventofollowtheothercouplewithcuriositywhentheyseparated,astheyfrequentlydid,tonameaplant,orexamineafresco。Cassandrawasconstantlystudyingtheirbacks。ShenoticedhowsometimestheimpulsetomovecamefromKatharine,andsometimesfromRalph;how,sometimes,theywalkedslow,asifinprofoundintercourse,andsometimesfast,asifinpassionate。Whentheycametogetheragainnothingcouldbemoreunconcernedthantheirmanner。
  “Wehavebeenwonderingwhethertheyevercatchafish……“or,“WemustleavetimetovisittheMaze。“Then,topuzzleherfurther,WilliamandRalphfilledinallintersticesofmeal-timesorrailwayjourneyswithperfectlygood-temperedarguments;ortheydiscussedpolitics,ortheytoldstories,ortheydidsumstogetheruponthebacksofoldenvelopestoprovesomething。ShesuspectedthatKatharinewasabsent-minded,butitwasimpossibletotell。ThereweremomentswhenshefeltsoyoungandinexperiencedthatshealmostwishedherselfbackwiththesilkwormsatStogdonHouse,andnotembarkeduponthisbewilderingintrigue。
  Thesemoments,however,wereonlythenecessaryshadoworchillwhichprovedthesubstanceofherbliss,anddidnotdamagetheradiancewhichseemedtorestequallyuponthewholeparty。Thefreshairofspring,theskywashedofcloudsandalreadysheddingwarmthfromitsblue,seemedthereplyvouchsafedbynaturetothemoodofherchosenspirits。Thesechosenspiritsweretobefoundalsoamongthedeer,dumblybasking,andamongthefish,setstillinmid-stream,fortheyweremutesharersinabenignantstatenotneedinganyexpositionbythetongue。NowordsthatCassandracouldcomebyexpressedthestillness,thebrightness,theairofexpectancywhichlayupontheorderlybeautyofthegrasswalksandgravelpathsdownwhichtheywentwalkingfourabreastthatSundayafternoon。Silentlytheshadowsofthetreeslayacrossthebroadsunshine;silencewraptherheartinitsfolds。Thequiveringstillnessofthebutterflyonthehalf-openedflower,thesilentgrazingofthedeerinthesun,werethesightshereyeresteduponandreceivedastheimagesofherownnaturelaidopentohappinessandtremblinginitsecstasy。
  Buttheafternoonworeon,anditbecametimetoleavethegardens。AstheydrovefromWaterlootoChelsea,Katharinebegantohavesomecompunctionaboutherfather,which,togetherwiththeopeningofofficesandtheneedofworkinginthemonMonday,madeitdifficulttoplananotherfestivalforthefollowingday。Mr。Hilberyhadtakentheirabsence,sofar,withpaternalbenevolence,buttheycouldnottrespassuponitindefinitely。Indeed,hadtheyknownit,hewasalreadysufferingfromtheirabsence,andlongingfortheirreturn。
  Hehadnodislikeofsolitude,andSunday,inparticular,waspleasantlyadaptedforletter-writing,payingcalls,oravisittohisclub。Hewasleavingthehouseonsomesuchsuitableexpeditiontowardstea-timewhenhefoundhimselfstoppedonhisowndoorstepbyhissister,Mrs。Milvain。Sheshould,onhearingthatnoonewasathome,havewithdrawnsubmissively,butinsteadsheacceptedhishalf-heartedinvitationtocomein,andhefoundhimselfinthemelancholypositionofbeingforcedtoorderteaforherandsitinthedrawing-roomwhileshedrankit。Shespeedilymadeitplainthatshewasonlythusexactingbecauseshehadcomeonamatterofbusiness。Hewasbynomeansexhilaratedatthenews。
  “Katharineisoutthisafternoon,“heremarked。“Whynotcomeroundlateranddiscussitwithher——withusboth,eh?“
  “MydearTrevor,Ihaveparticularreasonsforwishingtotalktoyoualone……WhereisKatharine?“
  “She'soutwithheryoungman,naturally。Cassandraplaysthepartofchaperoneveryusefully。Acharmingyoungwomanthat——agreatfavoriteofmine。“Heturnedhisstonebetweenhisfingers,andconceiveddifferentmethodsofleadingCeliaawayfromherobsession,which,hesupposed,musthavereferencetothedomesticaffairsofCyrilasusual。
  “WithCassandra,“Mrs。Milvainrepeatedsignificantly。“WithCassandra。“
  “Yes,withCassandra,“Mr。Hilberyagreedurbanely,pleasedatthediversion。“IthinktheysaidtheyweregoingtoHamptonCourt,andI
  ratherbelievetheyweretakingaprotegeofmine,RalphDenham,averycleverfellow,too,toamuseCassandra。Ithoughtthearrangementverysuitable。“Hewaspreparedtodwellatsomelengthuponthissafetopic,andtrustedthatKatharinewouldcomeinbeforehehaddonewithit。
  “HamptonCourtalwaysseemstomeanidealspotforengagedcouples。
  There'stheMaze,there'saniceplaceforhavingtea——Iforgetwhattheycallit——andthen,iftheyoungmanknowshisbusinesshecontrivestotakehisladyupontheriver。Fullofpossibilities——full。Cake,Celia?“Mr。Hilberycontinued。“Irespectmydinnertoomuch,butthatcan'tpossiblyapplytoyou。You'veneverobservedthatfeast,sofarasIcanremember。“
  Herbrother'saffabilitydidnotdeceiveMrs。Milvain;itslightlysaddenedher;shewellknewthecauseofit。Blindandinfatuatedasusual!
  “WhoisthisMr。Denham?“sheasked。
  “RalphDenham?“saidMr。Hilbery,inreliefthathermindhadtakenthisturn。“Averyinterestingyoungman。I'veagreatbeliefinhim。
  He'sanauthorityuponourmediaevalinstitutions,andifheweren'tforcedtoearnhislivinghewouldwriteabookthatverymuchwantswriting——“
  “Heisnotwelloff,then?“Mrs。Milvaininterposed。
  “Hasn'tapenny,I'mafraid,andafamilymoreorlessdependentonhim。“
  “Amotherandsisters?——Hisfatherisdead?“
  “Yes,hisfatherdiedsomeyearsago,“saidMr。Hilbery,whowaspreparedtodrawuponhisimagination,ifnecessary,tokeepMrs。
  MilvainsuppliedwithfactsabouttheprivatehistoryofRalphDenhamsince,forsomeinscrutablereason,thesubjecttookherfancy。
  “Hisfatherhasbeendeadsometime,andthisyoungmanhadtotakehisplace——“
  “Alegalfamily?“Mrs。Milvaininquired。“IfancyI'veseenthenamesomewhere。“
  Mr。Hilberyshookhishead。“Ishouldbeinclinedtodoubtwhethertheywerealtogetherinthatwalkoflife,“heobserved。“IfancythatDenhamoncetoldmethathisfatherwasacornmerchant。Perhapshesaidastockbroker。Hecametogrief,anyhow,asstockbrokershaveawayofdoing。I'veagreatrespectforDenham,“headded。Theremarksoundedtohisearsunfortunatelyconclusive,andhewasafraidthattherewasnothingmoretobesaidaboutDenham。Heexaminedthetipsofhisfingerscarefully。“Cassandra'sgrownintoaverycharmingyoungwoman,“hestartedafresh。“Charmingtolookat,andcharmingtotalkto,thoughherhistoricalknowledgeisnotaltogetherprofound。
  Anothercupoftea?“
  Mrs。Milvainhadgivenhercupalittlepush,whichseemedtoindicatesomemomentarydispleasure。Butshedidnotwantanymoretea。
  “ItisCassandrathatIhavecomeabout,“shebegan。“IamverysorrytosaythatCassandraisnotatallwhatyouthinkher,Trevor。ShehasimposeduponyourandMaggie'sgoodness。Shehasbehavedinawaythatwouldhaveseemedincredible——inthishouseofallhouses——wereitnotforothercircumstancesthatarestillmoreincredible。“
  Mr。Hilberylookedtakenaback,andwassilentforasecond。
  “Itallsoundsveryblack,“heremarkedurbanely,continuinghisexaminationofhisfinger-nails。“ButIownIamcompletelyinthedark。“
  Mrs。Milvainbecamerigid,andemittedhermessageinlittleshortsentencesofextremeintensity。
  “WhohasCassandragoneoutwith?WilliamRodney。WhohasKatharinegoneoutwith?RalphDenham。Whyaretheyforevermeetingeachotherroundstreetcorners,andgoingtomusic-halls,andtakingcabslateatnight?WhywillKatharinenottellmethetruthwhenIquestionher?Iunderstandthereasonnow。Katharinehasentangledherselfwiththisunknownlawyer;shehasseenfittocondoneCassandra'sconduct。“
  Therewasanotherslightpause。
  “Ah,well,Katharinewillnodoubthavesomeexplanationtogiveme,“
  Mr。Hilberyrepliedimperturbably。“It'salittletoocomplicatedformetotakeinallatonce,Iconfess——and,ifyouwon'tthinkmerude,Celia,IthinkI'llbegettingalongtowardsKnightsbridge。“
  Mrs。Milvainroseatonce。
  “ShehascondonedCassandra'sconductandentangledherselfwithRalphDenham,“sherepeated。Shestoodveryerectwiththedauntlessairofonetestifyingtothetruthregardlessofconsequences。Sheknewfrompastdiscussionsthattheonlywaytocounterherbrother'sindolenceandindifferencewastoshootherstatementsathiminacompressedformoncefinallyuponleavingtheroom。Havingspokenthus,sherestrainedherselffromaddinganotherword,andleftthehousewiththedignityofoneinspiredbyagreatideal。
  ShehadcertainlyframedherremarksinsuchawayastopreventherbrotherfrompayinghiscallintheregionofKnightsbridge。HehadnofearsforKatharine,buttherewasasuspicionatthebackofhismindthatCassandramighthavebeen,innocentlyandignorantly,ledintosomefoolishsituationinoneoftheirunshepherdeddissipations。Hiswifewasanerraticjudgeoftheconventions;hehimselfwaslazy;andwithKatharineabsorbed,verynaturally——Hereherecalled,aswellashecould,theexactnatureofthecharge。“ShehascondonedCassandra'sconductandentangledherselfwithRalphDenham。“FromwhichitappearedthatKatharinewasNOTabsorbed,orwhichofthemwasitthathadentangledherselfwithRalphDenham?FromthismazeofabsurdityMr。HilberysawnowayoutuntilKatharineherselfcametohishelp,sothatheappliedhimself,veryphilosophicallyonthewhole,toabook。
  NosoonerhadheheardtheyoungpeoplecomeinandgoupstairsthanhesentamaidtotellMissKatharinethathewishedtospeaktoherinthestudy。Shewasslippingfurslooselyontothefloorinthedrawing-roominfrontofthefire。Theywereallgatheredround,reluctanttopart。ThemessagefromherfathersurprisedKatharine,andtheotherscaughtfromherlook,assheturnedtogo,avaguesenseofapprehension。
  Mr。Hilberywasreassuredbythesightofher。Hecongratulatedhimself,hepridedhimself,uponpossessingadaughterwhohadasenseofresponsibilityandanunderstandingoflifeprofoundbeyondheryears。Moreover,shewaslookingto-dayunusual;hehadcometotakeherbeautyforgranted;nowheremembereditandwassurprisedbyit。
  HethoughtinstinctivelythathehadinterruptedsomehappyhourofherswithRodney,andapologized。
  “I'msorrytobotheryou,mydear。Iheardyoucomein,andthoughtI'dbettermakemyselfdisagreeableatonce——asitseems,unfortunately,thatfathersareexpectedtomakethemselvesdisagreeable。Now,yourAuntCeliahasbeentoseeme;yourAuntCeliahastakenitintoherheadapparentlythatyouandCassandrahavebeen——letussayalittlefoolish。Thisgoingabouttogether——thesepleasantlittleparties——there'sbeensomekindofmisunderstanding。I
  toldherIsawnoharminit,butIshouldjustliketohearfromyourself。HasCassandrabeenleftalittletoomuchinthecompanyofMr。Denham?“
  Katharinedidnotreplyatonce,andMr。Hilberytappedthecoalencouraginglywiththepoker。Thenshesaid,withoutembarrassmentorapology:
  “Idon'tseewhyIshouldanswerAuntCelia'squestions。I'vetoldheralreadythatIwon't。“
  Mr。Hilberywasrelievedandsecretlyamusedatthethoughtoftheinterview,althoughhecouldnotlicensesuchirreverenceoutwardly。
  “Verygood。Thenyouauthorizemetotellherthatshe'sbeenmistaken,andtherewasnothingbutalittlefuninit?You'venodoubt,Katharine,inyourownmind?Cassandraisinourcharge,andI
  don'tintendthatpeopleshouldgossipabouther。Isuggestthatyoushouldbealittlemorecarefulinfuture。Invitemetoyournextentertainment。“
  Shedidnotrespond,ashehadhoped,withanyaffectionateorhumorousreply。Shemeditated,ponderingsomethingorother,andhereflectedthatevenhisKatharinedidnotdifferfromotherwomeninthecapacitytoletthingsbe。Orhadshesomethingtosay?
  “Haveyouaguiltyconscience?“heinquiredlightly。“Tellme,Katharine,“hesaidmoreseriously,struckbysomethingintheexpressionofhereyes。
  “I'vebeenmeaningtotellyouforsometime,“shesaid,“I'mnotgoingtomarryWilliam。“
  “You'renotgoing——!“heexclaimed,droppingthepokerinhisimmensesurprise。“Why?When?Explainyourself,Katharine。“
  “Oh,sometimeago——aweek,perhapsmore。“Katharinespokehurriedlyandindifferently,asifthemattercouldnolongerconcernanyone。
  “ButmayIask——whyhaveInotbeentoldofthis——whatdoyoumeanbyit?“
  “Wedon'twishtobemarried——that'sall。“
  “ThisisWilliam'swishaswellasyours?“
  “Oh,yes。Weagreeperfectly。“
  Mr。Hilberyhadseldomfeltmorecompletelyataloss。HethoughtthatKatharinewastreatingthematterwithcuriousunconcern;shescarcelyseemedawareofthegravityofwhatshewassaying;hedidnotunderstandthepositionatall。Buthisdesiretosmootheverythingovercomfortablycametohisrelief。Nodoubttherewassomequarrel,somewhimseyonthepartofWilliam,who,thoughagoodfellow,wasalittleexactingsometimes——somethingthatawomancouldputright。Butthoughheinclinedtotaketheeasiestviewofhisresponsibilities,hecaredtoomuchforthisdaughtertoletthingsbe。
  “IconfessIfindgreatdifficultyinfollowingyou。IshouldliketohearWilliam'ssideofthestory,“hesaidirritably。“Ithinkheoughttohavespokentomeinthefirstinstance。“
  “Iwouldn'tlethim,“saidKatharine。“Iknowitmustseemtoyouverystrange,“sheadded。“ButIassureyou,ifyou'dwaitalittle——untilmothercomesback。“
  ThisappealfordelaywasmuchtoMr。Hilbery'sliking。Buthisconsciencewouldnotsufferit。Peopleweretalking。Hecouldnotendurethathisdaughter'sconductshouldbeinanywayconsideredirregular。Hewonderedwhether,inthecircumstances,itwouldbebettertowiretohiswife,tosendforoneofhissisters,toforbidWilliamthehouse,topackCassandraoffhome——forhewasvaguelyconsciousofresponsibilitiesinherdirection,too。Hisforeheadwasbecomingmoreandmorewrinkledbythemultiplicityofhisanxieties,whichhewassorelytemptedtoaskKatharinetosolveforhim,whenthedooropenedandWilliamRodneyappeared。Thisnecessitatedacompletechange,notonlyofmanner,butofpositionalso。
  “Here'sWilliam,“Katharineexclaimed,inatoneofrelief。“I'vetoldfatherwe'renotengaged,“shesaidtohim。“I'veexplainedthatI
  preventedyoufromtellinghim。“
  William'smannerwasmarkedbytheutmostformality。HebowedveryslightlyinthedirectionofMr。Hilbery,andstooderect,holdingonelapelofhiscoat,andgazingintothecenterofthefire。HewaitedforMr。Hilberytospeak。
  Mr。Hilberyalsoassumedanappearanceofformidabledignity。Hehadrisentohisfeet,andnowbentthetoppartofhisbodyslightlyforward。
  “Ishouldlikeyouraccountofthisaffair,Rodney——ifKatharinenolongerpreventsyoufromspeaking。“
  Williamwaitedtwosecondsatleast。
  “Ourengagementisatanend,“hesaid,withtheutmoststiffness。
  “Hasthisbeenarrivedatbyyourjointdesire?“
  AfteraperceptiblepauseWilliambenthishead,andKatharinesaid,asifbyanafterthought:
  “Oh,yes。“
  Mr。Hilberyswayedtoandfro,andmovedhislipsasiftoutterremarkswhichremainedunspoken。
  “Icanonlysuggestthatyoushouldpostponeanydecisionuntiltheeffectofthismisunderstandinghashadtimetowearoff。Youhavenowknowneachother——“hebegan。
  “There'sbeennomisunderstanding,“Katharineinterposed。“Nothingatall。“Shemovedafewpacesacrosstheroom,asifsheintendedtoleavethem。Herpreoccupiednaturalnesswasinstrangecontrasttoherfather'spomposityandtoWilliam'smilitaryrigidity。Hehadnotonceraisedhiseyes。Katharine'sglance,ontheotherhand,rangedpastthetwogentlemen,alongthebooks,overthetables,towardsthedoor。
  Shewaspayingtheleastpossibleattention,itseemed,towhatwashappening。Herfatherlookedatherwithasuddencloudingandtroublingofhisexpression。Somehowhisfaithinherstabilityandsensewasqueerlyshaken。Henolongerfeltthathecouldultimatelyentrustherwiththewholeconductofherownaffairsafterasuperficialshowofdirectingthem。Hefelt,forthefirsttimeinmanyyears,responsibleforher。
  “Lookhere,wemustgettothebottomofthis,“hesaid,droppinghisformalmannerandaddressingRodneyasifKatharinewerenotpresent。
  “You'vehadsomedifferenceofopinion,eh?Takemywordforit,mostpeoplegothroughthissortofthingwhenthey'reengaged。I'veseenmoretroublecomefromlongengagementsthanfromanyotherformofhumanfolly。Takemyadviceandputthewholematteroutofyourminds——bothofyou。Iprescribeacompleteabstinencefromemotion。
  Visitsomecheerfulseasideresort,Rodney。“
  HewasstruckbyWilliam'sappearance,whichseemedtohimtoindicateprofoundfeelingresolutelyheldincheck。Nodoubt,hereflected,Katharinehadbeenverytrying,unconsciouslytrying,andhaddrivenhimtotakeupapositionwhichwasnoneofhiswilling。Mr。HilberycertainlydidnotoverrateWilliam'ssufferings。Nominutesinhislifehadhithertoextortedfromhimsuchintensityofanguish。Hewasnowfacingtheconsequencesofhisinsanity。HemustconfesshimselfentirelyandfundamentallyotherthanMr。Hilberythoughthim。
  Everythingwasagainsthim。EventheSundayeveningandthefireandthetranquillibraryscenewereagainsthim。Mr。Hilbery'sappealtohimasamanoftheworldwasterriblyagainsthim。HewasnolongeramanofanyworldthatMr。Hilberycaredtorecognize。Butsomepowercompelledhim,asithadcompelledhimtocomedownstairs,tomakehisstandhereandnow,aloneandunhelpedbyanyone,withoutprospectofreward。Hefumbledwithvariousphrases;andthenjerkedout:
  “IloveCassandra。“
  Mr。Hilbery'sfaceturnedacuriousdullpurple。Helookedathisdaughter。Henoddedhishead,asiftoconveyhissilentcommandtohertoleavetheroom;buteithershedidnotnoticeitorpreferrednottoobey。
  “Youhavetheimpudence——“Mr。Hilberybegan,inadull,lowvoicethathehimselfhadneverheardbefore,whentherewasascufflingandexclaiminginthehall,andCassandra,whoappearedtobeinsistingagainstsomedissuasiononthepartofanother,burstintotheroom。
  “UncleTrevor,“sheexclaimed,“Iinsistupontellingyouthetruth!“
  SheflungherselfbetweenRodneyandheruncle,asifshesoughttointercepttheirblows。Asherunclestoodperfectlystill,lookingverylargeandimposing,andasnobodyspoke,sheshrankbackalittle,andlookedfirstatKatharineandthenatRodney。“Youmustknowthetruth,“shesaid,alittlelamely。
  “YouhavetheimpudencetotellmethisinKatharine'spresence?“Mr。
  Hilberycontinued,speakingwithcompletedisregardofCassandra'sinterruption。
  “Iamaware,quiteaware——“Rodney'swords,whichwerebrokeninsense,spokenafterapause,andwithhiseyesupontheground,neverthelessexpressedanastonishingamountofresolution。“Iamquiteawarewhatyoumustthinkofme,“hebroughtout,lookingMr。
  Hilberydirectlyintheeyesforthefirsttime。
  “Icouldexpressmyviewsonthesubjectmorefullyifwewerealone,“
  Mr。Hilberyreturned。
  “Butyouforgetme,“saidKatharine。ShemovedalittletowardsRodney,andhermovementseemedtotestifymutelytoherrespectforhim,andheralliancewithhim。“IthinkWilliamhasbehavedperfectlyrightly,and,afterall,itisIwhoamconcerned——IandCassandra。“
  Cassandra,too,gaveanindescribablyslightmovementwhichseemedtodrawthethreeofthemintoalliancetogether。Katharine'stoneandglancemadeMr。Hilberyoncemorefeelcompletelyataloss,andinaddition,painfullyandangrilyobsolete;butinspiteofanawfulinnerhollownesshewasoutwardlycomposed。
  “CassandraandRodneyhaveaperfectrighttosettletheirownaffairsaccordingtotheirownwishes;butIseenoreasonwhytheyshoulddosoeitherinmyroomorinmyhouse……Iwishtobequiteclearonthispoint,however;youarenolongerengagedtoRodney。“
  Hepaused,andhispauseseemedtosignifythathewasextremelythankfulforhisdaughter'sdeliverance。
  CassandraturnedtoKatharine,whodrewherbreathasiftospeakandcheckedherself;Rodney,too,seemedtoawaitsomemovementonherpart;herfatherglancedatherasifhehalfanticipatedsomefurtherrevelation。Sheremainedperfectlysilent。Inthesilencetheyhearddistinctlystepsdescendingthestaircase,andKatharinewentstraighttothedoor。
  “Wait,“Mr。Hilberycommanded。“Iwishtospeaktoyou——alone,“headded。
  Shepaused,holdingthedoorajar。
  “I'llcomeback,“shesaid,andasshespokesheopenedthedoorandwentout。Theycouldhearherimmediatelyspeaktosomeoneoutside,thoughthewordswereinaudible。
  Mr。Hilberywasleftconfrontingtheguiltycouple,whoremainedstandingasiftheydidnotaccepttheirdismissal,andthedisappearanceofKatharinehadbroughtsomechangeintothesituation。
  So,inhissecretheart,Mr。Hilberyfeltthatithad,forhecouldnotexplainhisdaughter'sbehaviortohisownsatisfaction。
  “UncleTrevor,“Cassandraexclaimedimpulsively,“don'tbeangry,please。Icouldn'thelpit;Idobegyoutoforgiveme。“
  Herunclestillrefusedtoacknowledgeheridentity,andstilltalkedoverherheadasifshedidnotexist。
  “IsupposeyouhavecommunicatedwiththeOtways,“hesaidtoRodneygrimly。
  “UncleTrevor,wewantedtotellyou,“Cassandrarepliedforhim。“Wewaited——“shelookedappealinglyatRodney,whoshookhisheadeversoslightly。
  “Yes?Whatwereyouwaitingfor?“heruncleaskedsharply,lookingatheratlast。
  Thewordsdiedonherlips。Itwasapparentthatshewasstrainingherearsasiftocatchsomesoundoutsidetheroomthatwouldcometoherhelp。Hereceivednoanswer。Helistened,too。
  “Thisisamostunpleasantbusinessforallparties,“heconcluded,sinkingintohischairagain,hunchinghisshouldersandregardingtheflames。Heseemedtospeaktohimself,andRodneyandCassandralookedathiminsilence。
  “Whydon'tyousitdown?“hesaidsuddenly。Hespokegruffly,buttheforceofhisangerwasevidentlyspent,orsomepreoccupationhadturnedhismoodtootherregions。WhileCassandraacceptedhisinvitation,Rodneyremainedstanding。
  “IthinkCassandracanexplainmattersbetterinmyabsence,“hesaid,andlefttheroom,Mr。Hilberygivinghisassentbyaslightnodofthehead。
  Meanwhile,inthedining-roomnextdoor,DenhamandKatharinewereoncemoreseatedatthemahoganytable。Theyseemedtobecontinuingaconversationbrokenoffinthemiddle,asifeachrememberedtheprecisepointatwhichtheyhadbeeninterrupted,andwaseagertogoonasquicklyaspossible。Katharine,havinginterposedashortaccountoftheinterviewwithherfather,Denhammadenocomment,butsaid:
  “Anyhow,there'snoreasonwhyweshouldn'tseeeachother。“
  “Orstaytogether。It'sonlymarriagethat'soutofthequestion,“
  Katharinereplied。
  “ButifIfindmyselfcomingtowantyoumoreandmore?“
  “Ifourlapsescomemoreandmoreoften?“
  Hesighedimpatiently,andsaidnothingforamoment。
  “Butatleast,“herenewed,“we'veestablishedthefactthatmylapsesarestillinsomeoddwayconnectedwithyou;yourshavenothingtodowithme。Katharine,“headded,hisassumptionofreasonbrokenupbyhisagitation,“Iassureyouthatweareinlove——whatotherpeoplecalllove。Rememberthatnight。Wehadnodoubtswhateverthen。Wewereabsolutelyhappyforhalfanhour。Youhadnolapseuntilthedayafter;Ihadnolapseuntilyesterdaymorning。We'vebeenhappyatintervalsalldayuntilI——wentoffmyhead,andyou,quitenaturally,werebored。“
  “Ah,“sheexclaimed,asifthesubjectchafedher,“Ican'tmakeyouunderstand。It'snotboredom——I'mneverbored。Reality——reality,“sheejaculated,tappingherfingeruponthetableasiftoemphasizeandperhapsexplainherisolatedutteranceofthisword。“Iceasetoberealtoyou。It'sthefacesinastormagain——thevisioninahurricane。Wecometogetherforamomentandwepart。It'smyfault,too。I'masbadasyouare——worse,perhaps。“
  Theyweretryingtoexplain,notforthefirsttime,astheirwearygesturesandfrequentinterruptionsshowed,whatintheircommonlanguagetheyhadchristenedtheir“lapses“;aconstantsourceofdistresstothem,inthepastfewdays,andtheimmediatereasonwhyRalphwasonhiswaytoleavethehousewhenKatharine,listeninganxiously,heardhimandpreventedhim。Whatwasthecauseoftheselapses?EitherbecauseKatharinelookedmorebeautiful,ormorestrange,becausesheworesomethingdifferent,orsaidsomethingunexpected,Ralph'ssenseofherromancewelledupandovercamehimeitherintosilenceorintoinarticulateexpressions,whichKatharine,withunintentionalbutinvariableperversity,interruptedorcontradictedwithsomeseverityorassertionofprosaicfact。Thenthevisiondisappeared,andRalphexpressedvehementlyinhisturntheconvictionthatheonlylovedhershadowandcarednothingforherreality。Ifthelapsewasonhersideittooktheformofgradualdetachmentuntilshebecamecompletelyabsorbedinherownthoughts,whichcarriedherawaywithsuchintensitythatshesharplyresentedanyrecalltohercompanion'sside。ItwasuselesstoassertthatthesetranceswerealwaysoriginatedbyRalphhimself,howeverlittleintheirlaterstagestheyhadtodowithhim。Thefactremainedthatshehadnoneedofhimandwasveryloathtoberemindedofhim。How,then,couldtheybeinlove?Thefragmentarynatureoftheirrelationshipwasbuttooapparent。
  Thustheysatdepressedtosilenceatthedining-roomtable,obliviousofeverything,whileRodneypacedthedrawing-roomoverheadinsuchagitationandexaltationofmindashehadneverconceivedpossible,andCassandraremainedalonewithheruncle。Ralph,atlength,roseandwalkedgloomilytothewindow。Hepressedclosetothepane。
  Outsideweretruthandfreedomandtheimmensityonlytobeapprehendedbythemindinloneliness,andnevercommunicatedtoanother。Whatworsesacrilegewastherethantoattempttoviolatewhatheperceivedbyseekingtoimpartit?SomemovementbehindhimmadehimreflectthatKatharinehadthepower,ifshechose,tobeinpersonwhathedreamedofherspirit。Heturnedsharplytoimploreherhelp,whenagainhewasstruckcoldbyherlookofdistance,herexpressionofintentnessuponsomefarobject。Asifconsciousofhislookuponhersheroseandcametohim,standingclosebyhisside,andlookingwithhimoutintotheduskyatmosphere。Theirphysicalclosenesswastohimabitterenoughcommentuponthedistancebetweentheirminds。Yetdistantasshewas,herpresencebyhissidetransformedtheworld。Hesawhimselfperformingwonderfuldeedsofcourage;savingthedrowning,rescuingtheforlorn。Impatientwiththisformofegotism,hecouldnotshakeofftheconvictionthatsomehowlifewaswonderful,romantic,amasterworthservingsolongasshestoodthere。Hehadnowishthatsheshouldspeak;hedidnotlookatherortouchher;shewasapparentlydeepinherownthoughtsandobliviousofhispresence。
  Thedooropenedwithouttheirhearingthesound。Mr。Hilberylookedroundtheroom,andforamomentfailedtodiscoverthetwofiguresinthewindow。Hestartedwithdispleasurewhenhesawthem,andobservedthemkeenlybeforeheappearedabletomakeuphismindtosayanything。Hemadeamovementfinallythatwarnedthemofhispresence;
  theyturnedinstantly。Withoutspeaking,hebeckonedtoKatharinetocometohim,and,keepinghiseyesfromtheregionoftheroomwhereDenhamstood,heshepherdedherinfrontofhimbacktothestudy。
  WhenKatharinewasinsidetheroomheshutthestudydoorcarefullybehindhimasiftosecurehimselffromsomethingthathedisliked。
  “Now,Katharine,“hesaid,takinguphisstandinfrontofthefire,“youwill,perhaps,havethekindnesstoexplain——“Sheremainedsilent。“Whatinferencesdoyouexpectmetodraw?“hesaidsharply……“YoutellmethatyouarenotengagedtoRodney;Iseeyouonwhatappeartobeextremelyintimatetermswithanother——withRalphDenham。WhatamItoconclude?Areyou,“headded,asshestillsaidnothing,“engagedtoRalphDenham?“
  “No,“shereplied。
  Hissenseofreliefwasgreat;hehadbeencertainthatheranswerwouldhaveconfirmedhissuspicions,butthatanxietybeingsetatrest,hewasthemoreconsciousofannoyancewithherforherbehavior。
  “ThenallIcansayisthatyou'veverystrangeideasoftheproperwaytobehave……Peoplehavedrawncertainconclusions,noramI
  surprised……ThemoreIthinkofitthemoreinexplicableIfindit,“hewenton,hisangerrisingashespoke。“WhyamIleftinignoranceofwhatisgoingoninmyownhouse?WhyamIlefttohearoftheseeventsforthefirsttimefrommysister?Mostdisagreeable——
  mostupsetting。HowI'mtoexplaintoyourUncleFrancis——butIwashmyhandsofit。Cassandragoestomorrow。IforbidRodneythehouse。Asfortheotheryoungman,thesoonerhemakeshimselfscarcethebetter。Afterplacingthemostimplicittrustinyou,Katharine——“Hebrokeoff,disquietedbytheominoussilencewithwhichhiswordswerereceived,andlookedathisdaughterwiththecuriousdoubtastoherstateofmindwhichhehadfeltbefore,forthefirsttime,thisevening。Heperceivedoncemorethatshewasnotattendingtowhathesaid,butwaslistening,andforamomenthe,too,listenedforsoundsoutsidetheroom。HiscertaintythattherewassomeunderstandingbetweenDenhamandKatharinereturned,butwithamostunpleasantsuspicionthattherewassomethingillicitaboutit,asthewholepositionbetweentheyoungpeopleseemedtohimgravelyillicit。
  “I'llspeaktoDenham,“hesaid,ontheimpulseofhissuspicion,movingasiftogo。
  “Ishallcomewithyou,“Katharinesaidinstantly,startingforward。
  “Youwillstayhere,“saidherfather。
  “Whatareyougoingtosaytohim?“sheasked。
  “IsupposeImaysaywhatIlikeinmyownhouse?“hereturned。
  “ThenIgo,too,“shereplied。
  Atthesewords,whichseemedtoimplyadeterminationtogo——togoforever,Mr。Hilberyreturnedtohispositioninfrontofthefire,andbeganswayingslightlyfromsidetosidewithoutforthemomentmakinganyremark。
  “Iunderstoodyoutosaythatyouwerenotengagedtohim,“hesaidatlength,fixinghiseyesuponhisdaughter。
  “Wearenotengaged,“shesaid。
  “Itshouldbeamatterofindifferencetoyou,then,whetherhecomeshereornot——IwillnothaveyoulisteningtootherthingswhenIamspeakingtoyou!“hebrokeoffangrily,perceivingaslightmovementonherparttooneside。“Answermefrankly,whatisyourrelationshipwiththisyoungman?“
  “NothingthatIcanexplaintoathirdperson,“shesaidobstinately。
  “Iwillhavenomoreoftheseequivocations,“hereplied。
  “Irefusetoexplain,“shereturned,andasshesaiditthefrontdoorbangedto。“There!“sheexclaimed。“Heisgone!“Sheflashedsuchalookoffieryindignationatherfatherthathelosthisself-controlforamoment。
  “ForGod'ssake,Katharine,controlyourself!“hecried。
  Shelookedforamomentlikeawildanimalcagedinacivilizeddwelling-place。Sheglancedoverthewallscoveredwithbooks,asifforasecondshehadforgottenthepositionofthedoor。Thenshemadeasiftogo,butherfatherlaidhishanduponhershoulder。Hecompelledhertositdown。
  “Theseemotionshavebeenveryupsetting,naturally,“hesaid。Hismannerhadregainedallitssuavity,andhespokewithasoothingassumptionofpaternalauthority。“You'vebeenplacedinaverydifficultposition,asIunderstandfromCassandra。Nowletuscometoterms;wewillleavetheseagitatingquestionsinpeaceforthepresent。Meanwhile,letustrytobehavelikecivilizedbeings。LetusreadSirWalterScott。Whatd'yousayto'TheAntiquary,'eh?Or'TheBrideofLammermoor'?“
  Hemadehisownchoice,andbeforehisdaughtercouldprotestormakeherescape,shefoundherselfbeingturnedbytheagencyofSirWalterScottintoacivilizedhumanbeing。
  YetMr。Hilberyhadgravedoubts,asheread,whethertheprocesswasmorethanskin-deep。Civilizationhadbeenveryprofoundlyandunpleasantlyoverthrownthatevening;theextentoftheruinwasstillundetermined;hehadlosthistemper,aphysicaldisasternottobematchedforthespaceoftenyearsorso;andhisownconditionurgentlyrequiredsoothingandrenovatingatthehandsoftheclassics。Hishousewasinastateofrevolution;hehadavisionofunpleasantencountersonthestaircase;hismealswouldbepoisonedfordaystocome;wasliteratureitselfaspecificagainstsuchdisagreeables?Anoteofhollownesswasinhisvoiceasheread。
  CHAPTERXXXIII
  ConsideringthatMr。Hilberylivedinahousewhichwasaccuratelynumberedinorderwithitsfellows,andthathefilledupforms,paidrent,andhadsevenmoreyearsoftenancytorun,hehadanexcuseforlayingdownlawsfortheconductofthosewholivedinhishouse,andthisexcuse,thoughprofoundlyinadequate,hefoundusefulduringtheinterregnumofcivilizationwithwhichhenowfoundhimselffaced。Inobediencetothoselaws,Rodneydisappeared;Cassandrawasdispatchedtocatchtheeleven-thirtyonMondaymorning;Denhamwasseennomore;
  sothatonlyKatharine,thelawfuloccupantoftheupperrooms,remained,andMr。Hilberythoughthimselfcompetenttoseethatshedidnothingfurthertocompromiseherself。Ashebadehergoodmorningnextdayhewasawarethatheknewnothingofwhatshewasthinking,but,ashereflectedwithsomebitterness,eventhiswasanadvanceupontheignoranceofthepreviousmornings。Hewenttohisstudy,wrote,toreup,andwroteagainalettertohiswife,askinghertocomebackonaccountofdomesticdifficultieswhichhespecifiedatfirst,butinalaterdraftmorediscreetlyleftunspecified。Evenifshestartedtheverymomentthatshegotit,hereflected,shewouldnotbehometillTuesdaynight,andhecountedlugubriouslythenumberofhoursthathewouldhavetospendinapositionofdetestableauthorityalonewithhisdaughter。
  Whatwasshedoingnow,hewondered,asheaddressedtheenvelopetohiswife。Hecouldnotcontrolthetelephone。Hecouldnotplaythespy。Shemightbemakinganyarrangementsshechose。Yetthethoughtdidnotdisturbhimsomuchasthestrange,unpleasant,illicitatmosphereofthewholescenewiththeyoungpeoplethenightbefore。
  Hissenseofdiscomfortwasalmostphysical。
  Hadheknownit,Katharinewasfarenoughwithdrawn,bothphysicallyandspiritually,fromthetelephone。Shesatinherroomwiththedictionariesspreadingtheirwideleavesonthetablebeforeher,andallthepageswhichtheyhadconcealedforsomanyyearsarrangedinapile。Sheworkedwiththesteadyconcentrationthatisproducedbythesuccessfulefforttothinkdownsomeunwelcomethoughtbymeansofanotherthought。Havingabsorbedtheunwelcomethought,hermindwentonwithadditionalvigor,derivedfromthevictory;onasheetofpaperlinesoffiguresandsymbolsfrequentlyandfirmlywrittendownmarkedthedifferentstagesofitsprogress。Andyetitwasbroaddaylight;thereweresoundsofknockingandsweeping,whichprovedthatlivingpeoplewereatworkontheothersideofthedoor,andthedoor,whichcouldbethrownopeninasecond,washeronlyprotectionagainsttheworld。Butshehadsomehowrisentobemistressinherownkingdom,assuminghersovereigntyunconsciously。
  Stepsapproachedherunheard。Itistruethattheywerestepsthatlingered,divagated,andmountedwiththedeliberationnaturaltoonepastsixtywhosearms,moreover,arefullofleavesandblossoms;buttheycameonsteadily,andsoonatapoflaurelboughsagainstthedoorarrestedKatharine'spencilasittouchedthepage。Shedidnotmove,however,andsatblank-eyedasifwaitingfortheinterruptiontocease。Instead,thedooropened。Atfirst,sheattachednomeaningtothemovingmassofgreenwhichseemedtoentertheroomindependentlyofanyhumanagency。Thensherecognizedpartsofhermother'sfaceandpersonbehindtheyellowflowersandsoftvelvetofthepalm-buds。
  “FromShakespeare'stomb!“exclaimedMrs。Hilbery,droppingtheentiremassuponthefloor,withagesturethatseemedtoindicateanactofdedication。Thensheflungherarmswideandembracedherdaughter。
  “ThankGod,Katharine!“sheexclaimed。“ThankGod!“sherepeated。
  “You'vecomeback?“saidKatharine,veryvaguely,standinguptoreceivetheembrace。
  Althoughsherecognizedhermother'spresence,shewasveryfarfromtakingpartinthescene,andyetfeltittobeamazinglyappropriatethathermothershouldbethere,thankingGodemphaticallyforunknownblessings,andstrewingthefloorwithflowersandleavesfromShakespeare'stomb。
  “Nothingelsemattersintheworld!“Mrs。Hilberycontinued。“Namesaren'teverything;it'swhatwefeelthat'severything。Ididn'twantsilly,kind,interferingletters。Ididn'twantyourfathertotellme。Iknewitfromthefirst。Iprayedthatitmightbeso。“
  “Youknewit?“Katharinerepeatedhermother'swordssoftlyandvaguely,lookingpasther。“Howdidyouknowit?“Shebegan,likeachild,tofingeratasselhangingfromhermother'scloak。
  “Thefirsteveningyoutoldme,Katharine。Oh,andthousandsoftimes——dinner-parties——talkingaboutbooks——thewayhecameintotheroom——
  yourvoicewhenyouspokeofhim。“
  Katharineseemedtoconsidereachoftheseproofsseparately。Thenshesaidgravely:
  “I'mnotgoingtomarryWilliam。Andthenthere'sCassandra——“
  “Yes,there'sCassandra,“saidMrs。Hilbery。“IownIwasalittlegrudgingatfirst,but,afterall,sheplaysthepianosobeautifully。
  Dotellme,Katharine,“sheaskedimpulsively,“wheredidyougothateveningsheplayedMozart,andyouthoughtIwasasleep?“
  Katharinerecollectedwithdifficulty。
  “ToMaryDatchet's,“sheremembered。
  “Ah!“saidMrs。Hilbery,withaslightnoteofdisappointmentinhervoice。“Ihadmylittleromance——mylittlespeculation。“Shelookedatherdaughter。Katharinefalteredbeneaththatinnocentandpenetratinggaze;sheflushed,turnedaway,andthenlookedupwithverybrighteyes。
  “I'mnotinlovewithRalphDenham,“shesaid。
  “Don'tmarryunlessyou'reinlove!“saidMrs。Hilberyveryquickly。
  “But,“sheadded,glancingmomentarilyatherdaughter,“aren'ttheredifferentways,Katharine——different——?“
  “Wewanttomeetasoftenaswelike,buttobefree,“Katharinecontinued。
  “Tomeethere,tomeetinhishouse,tomeetinthestreet。“Mrs。
  Hilberyranoverthesephrasesasifsheweretryingchordsthatdidnotquitesatisfyherear。Itwasplainthatshehadhersourcesofinformation,and,indeed,herbagwasstuffedwithwhatshecalled“kindletters“fromthepenofhersister-in-law。
  “Yes。Ortostayawayinthecountry,“Katharineconcluded。
  Mrs。Hilberypaused,lookedunhappy,andsoughtinspirationfromthewindow。
  “Whatacomforthewasinthatshop——howhetookmeandfoundtheruinsatonce——howSAFEIfeltwithhim——“
  “Safe?Oh,no,he'sfearfullyrash——he'salwaystakingrisks。Hewantstothrowuphisprofessionandliveinalittlecottageandwritebooks,thoughhehasn'tapennyofhisown,andthereareanynumberofsistersandbrothersdependentonhim。“
  “Ah,hehasamother?“Mrs。Hilberyinquired。
  “Yes。Ratherafine-lookingoldlady,withwhitehair。“Katharinebegantodescribehervisit,andsoonMrs。Hilberyelicitedthefactsthatnotonlywasthehouseofexcruciatingugliness,whichRalphborewithoutcomplaint,butthatitwasevidentthateveryonedependedonhim,andhehadaroomatthetopofthehouse,withawonderfulviewoverLondon,andarook。
  “Awretchedoldbirdinacorner,withhalfitsfeathersout,“shesaid,withatendernessinhervoicethatseemedtocommiseratethesufferingsofhumanitywhilerestingassuredinthecapacityofRalphDenhamtoalleviatethem,sothatMrs。Hilberycouldnothelpexclaiming:
  “But,Katharine,youAREinlove!“atwhichKatharineflushed,lookedstartled,asifshehadsaidsomethingthatsheoughtnottohavesaid,andshookherhead。
  HastilyMrs。Hilberyaskedforfurtherdetailsofthisextraordinaryhouse,andinterposedafewspeculationsaboutthemeetingbetweenKeatsandColeridgeinalane,whichtidedoverthediscomfortofthemoment,anddrewKatharineontofurtherdescriptionsandindiscretions。Intruth,shefoundanextraordinarypleasureinbeingthusfreetotalktosomeonewhowasequallywiseandequallybenignant,themotherofherearliestchildhood,whosesilenceseemedtoanswerquestionsthatwereneverasked。Mrs。Hilberylistenedwithoutmakinganyremarkforaconsiderabletime。Sheseemedtodrawherconclusionsratherbylookingatherdaughterthanbylisteningtoher,and,ifcross-examined,shewouldprobablyhavegivenahighlyinaccurateversionofRalphDenham'slife-historyexceptthathewaspenniless,fatherless,andlivedatHighgate——allofwhichwasmuchinhisfavor。ButbymeansofthesefurtiveglancesshehadassuredherselfthatKatharinewasinastatewhichgaveher,alternately,themostexquisitepleasureandthemostprofoundalarm。
  Shecouldnothelpejaculatingatlast:
  “It'salldoneinfiveminutesataRegistryOfficenowadays,ifyouthinktheChurchservicealittleflorid——whichitis,thoughtherearenoblethingsinit。“
  “Butwedon'twanttobemarried,“Katharinerepliedemphatically,andadded,“Why,afterall,isn'titperfectlypossibletolivetogetherwithoutbeingmarried?“
  AgainMrs。Hilberylookeddiscomposed,and,inhertrouble,tookupthesheetswhichwerelyinguponthetable,andbeganturningthemoverthiswayandthat,andmutteringtoherselfassheglanced:
  “AplusBminusCequals'xyz'。It'ssodreadfullyugly,Katharine。
  That'swhatIfeel——sodreadfullyugly。“
  Katharinetookthesheetsfromhermother'shandandbeganshufflingthemabsent-mindedlytogether,forherfixedgazeseemedtoshowthatherthoughtswereintentuponsomeothermatter。
  “Well,Idon'tknowaboutugliness,“shesaidatlength。
  “Buthedoesn'taskitofyou?“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed。“Notthatgraveyoungmanwiththesteadybrowneyes?“
  “Hedoesn'taskanything——weneitherofusaskanything。“
  “IfIcouldhelpyou,Katharine,bythememoryofwhatIfelt——“
  “Yes,tellmewhatyoufelt。“
  Mrs。Hilbery,hereyesgrowingblank,peereddowntheenormouslylongcorridorofdaysatthefarendofwhichthelittlefiguresofherselfandherhusbandappearedfantasticallyattired,claspinghandsuponamoonlitbeach,withrosesswinginginthedusk。
  “Wewereinalittleboatgoingouttoashipatnight,“shebegan。
  “Thesunhadsetandthemoonwasrisingoverourheads。Therewerelovelysilverlightsuponthewavesandthreegreenlightsuponthesteamerinthemiddleofthebay。Yourfather'sheadlookedsograndagainstthemast。Itwaslife,itwasdeath。Thegreatseawasroundus。Itwasthevoyageforeverandever。“
  Theancientfairy-talefellroundlyandharmoniouslyuponKatharine'sears。Yes,therewastheenormousspaceofthesea;therewerethethreegreenlightsuponthesteamer;thecloakedfiguresclimbedupondeck。Andso,voyagingoverthegreenandpurplewaters,pastthecliffsandthesandylagoonsandthroughpoolscrowdedwiththemastsofshipsandthesteeplesofchurches——heretheywere。Theriverseemedtohavebroughtthemanddepositedthemhereatthisprecisepoint。Shelookedadmiringlyathermother,thatancientvoyager。
  “Whoknows,“exclaimedMrs。Hilbery,continuingherreveries,“whereweareboundfor,orwhy,orwhohassentus,orwhatweshallfind——whoknowsanything,exceptthatloveisourfaith——love——“shecrooned,andthesoftsoundbeatingthroughthedimwordswasheardbyherdaughterasthebreakingofwavessolemnlyinorderuponthevastshorethatshegazedupon。Shewouldhavebeencontentforhermothertorepeatthatwordalmostindefinitely——asoothingwordwhenutteredbyanother,arivetingtogetheroftheshatteredfragmentsoftheworld。ButMrs。Hilbery,insteadofrepeatingthewordlove,saidpleadingly:
  “Andyouwon'tthinkthoseuglythoughtsagain,willyou,Katharine?“
  atwhichwordstheshipwhichKatharinehadbeenconsideringseemedtoputintoharborandhavedonewithitsseafaring。Yetshewasingreatneed,ifnotexactlyofsympathy,ofsomeformofadvice,or,atleast,oftheopportunityofsettingforthherproblemsbeforeathirdpersonsoastorenewtheminherowneyes。
  “Butthen,“shesaid,ignoringthedifficultproblemofugliness,“youknewyouwereinlove;butwe'redifferent。Itseems,“shecontinued,frowningalittleasshetriedtofixthedifficultfeeling,“asifsomethingcametoanendsuddenly——gaveout——faded——anillusion——asifwhenwethinkwe'reinlovewemakeitup——weimaginewhatdoesn'texist。That'swhyit'simpossiblethatweshouldevermarry。Alwaystobefindingtheotheranillusion,andgoingoffandforgettingaboutthem,nevertobecertainthatyoucared,orthathewasn'tcaringforsomeonenotyouatall,thehorrorofchangingfromonestatetotheother,beinghappyonemomentandmiserablethenext——that'sthereasonwhywecan'tpossiblymarry。Atthesametime,“shecontinued,“wecan'tlivewithouteachother,because——“Mrs。Hilberywaitedpatientlyforthesentencetobecompleted,butKatharinefellsilentandfingeredhersheetoffigures。