CHAPTERXXVIII
　　Likeastrainofmusic，theeffectofKatharine'spresenceslowlydiedfromtheroominwhichRalphsatalone。Themusichadceasedintheraptureofitsmelody。Hestrainedtocatchthefaintestlingeringechoes；foramomentthememorylulledhimintopeace；butsoonitfailed，andhepacedtheroomsohungryforthesoundtocomeagainthathewasconsciousofnootherdesireleftinlife。Shehadgonewithoutspeaking；abruptlyachasmhadbeencutinhiscourse，downwhichthetideofhisbeingplungedindisorder；felluponrocks；
　　flungitselftodestruction。Thedistresshadaneffectofphysicalruinanddisaster。Hetrembled；hewaswhite；hefeltexhausted，asifbyagreatphysicaleffort。Hesankatlastintoachairstandingoppositeheremptyone，andmarked，mechanically，withhiseyeupontheclock，howshewentfartherandfartherfromhim，washomenow，andnow，doubtless，againwithRodney。Butitwaslongbeforehecouldrealizethesefacts；theimmensedesireforherpresencechurnedhissensesintofoam，intofroth，intoahazeofemotionthatremovedallfactsfromhisgrasp，andgavehimastrangesenseofdistance，evenfromthematerialshapesofwallandwindowbywhichhewassurrounded。Theprospectofthefuture，nowthatthestrengthofhispassionwasrevealedtohim，appalledhim。
　　ThemarriagewouldtakeplaceinSeptember，shehadsaid；thatallowedhim，then，sixfullmonthsinwhichtoundergotheseterribleextremesofemotion。Sixmonthsoftorture，andafterthatthesilenceofthegrave，theisolationoftheinsane，theexileofthedamned；atbest，alifefromwhichthechiefgoodwasknowinglyandforeverexcluded。
　　Animpartialjudgemighthaveassuredhimthathischiefhopeofrecoverylayinthismystictemper，whichidentifiedalivingwomanwithmuchthatnohumanbeingslongpossessintheeyesofeachother；
　　shewouldpass，andthedesireforhervanish，buthisbeliefinwhatshestoodfor，detachedfromher，wouldremain。Thislineofthoughtoffered，perhaps，somerespite，andpossessedofabrainthathaditsstationconsiderablyabovethetumultofthesenses，hetriedtoreducethevagueandwanderingincoherencyofhisemotionstoorder。
　　Thesenseofself-preservationwasstronginhim，andKatharineherselfhadstrangelyreviveditbyconvincinghimthathisfamilydeservedandneededallhisstrength。Shewasright，andfortheirsake，ifnotforhisown，thispassion，whichcouldbearnofruit，mustbecutoff，uprooted，showntobeasvisionaryandbaselessasshehadmaintained。Thebestwayofachievingthiswasnottorunawayfromher，buttofaceher，andhavingsteepedhimselfinherqualities，toconvincehisreasonthattheywere，assheassuredhim，notthosethatheimagined。Shewasapracticalwoman，adomesticwifeforaninferiorpoet，endowedwithromanticbeautybysomefreakofunintelligentNature。Nodoubtherbeautyitselfwouldnotstandexamination。Hehadthemeansofsettlingthispointatleast。HepossessedabookofphotographsfromtheGreekstatues；theheadofagoddess，ifthelowerpartwereconcealed，hadoftengivenhimtheecstasyofbeinginKatharine'spresence。Hetookitdownfromtheshelfandfoundthepicture。Tothisheaddedanotefromher，biddinghimmeetherattheZoo。HehadaflowerwhichhehadpickedatKewtoteachherbotany。Suchwerehisrelics。Heplacedthembeforehim，andsethimselftovisualizehersoclearlythatnodeceptionordelusionwaspossible。Inasecondhecouldseeher，withthesunslantingacrossherdress，comingtowardshimdownthegreenwalkatKew。Hemadehersitupontheseatbesidehim。Heheardhervoice，solowandyetsodecidedinitstone；shespokereasonablyofindifferentmatters。Hecouldseeherfaults，andanalyzehervirtues。Hispulsebecamequieter，andhisbrainincreasedinclarity。Thistimeshecouldnotescapehim。Theillusionofherpresencebecamemoreandmorecomplete。Theyseemedtopassinandoutofeachother'sminds，questioningandanswering。Theutmostfullnessofcommunionseemedtobetheirs。Thusunited，hefelthimselfraisedtoaneminence，exalted，andfilledwithapowerofachievementsuchashehadneverknowninsingleness。Oncemorehetoldoverconscientiouslyherfaults，bothoffaceandcharacter；theywereclearlyknowntohim；
　　buttheymergedthemselvesintheflawlessunionthatwasbornoftheirassociation。Theysurveyedlifetoitsuttermostlimits。Howdeepitwaswhenlookedatfromthisheight！Howsublime！Howthecommonestthingsmovedhimalmosttotears！Thus，heforgottheinevitablelimitations；heforgotherabsence，hethoughtitofnoaccountwhethershemarriedhimoranother；nothingmattered，savethatsheshouldexist，andthatheshouldloveher。Somewordsofthesereflectionswereutteredaloud，andithappenedthatamongthemwerethewords，“Iloveher。“Itwasthefirsttimethathehadusedtheword“love“todescribehisfeeling；madness，romance，hallucination——hehadcalleditbythesenamesbefore；buthaving，apparentlybyaccident，stumbledupontheword“love，“herepeateditagainandagainwithasenseofrevelation。
　　“ButI'minlovewithyou！“heexclaimed，withsomethinglikedismay。
　　Heleantagainstthewindow-sill，lookingoverthecityasshehadlooked。Everythinghadbecomemiraculouslydifferentandcompletelydistinct。Hisfeelingswerejustifiedandneedednofurtherexplanation。Buthemustimpartthemtosomeone，becausehisdiscoverywassoimportantthatitconcernedotherpeopletoo。
　　ShuttingthebookofGreekphotographs，andhidinghisrelics，herandownstairs，snatchedhiscoat，andpassedoutofdoors。
　　Thelampswerebeinglit，butthestreetsweredarkenoughandemptyenoughtolethimwalkhisfastest，andtotalkaloudashewalked。Hehadnodoubtwherehewasgoing。HewasgoingtofindMaryDatchet。
　　Thedesiretosharewhathefelt，withsomeonewhounderstoodit，wassoimperiousthathedidnotquestionit。Hewassooninherstreet。
　　Heranupthestairsleadingtoherflattwostepsatatime，anditnevercrossedhismindthatshemightnotbeathome。Asherangherbell，heseemedtohimselftobeannouncingthepresenceofsomethingwonderfulthatwasseparatefromhimself，andgavehimpowerandauthorityoverallotherpeople。Marycametothedoorafteramoment'spause。Hewasperfectlysilent，andintheduskhisfacelookedcompletelywhite。Hefollowedherintoherroom。
　　“Doyouknoweachother？“shesaid，tohisextremesurprise，forhehadcountedonfindingheralone。Ayoungmanrose，andsaidthatheknewRalphbysight。
　　“Wewerejustgoingthroughsomepapers，“saidMary。“Mr。Basnetthastohelpme，becauseIdon'tknowmuchaboutmyworkyet。It'sthenewsociety，“sheexplained。“I'mthesecretary。I'mnolongeratRussellSquare。“
　　Thevoiceinwhichshegavethisinformationwassoconstrainedastosoundalmostharsh。
　　“Whatareyouraims？“saidRalph。HelookedneitheratMarynoratMr。
　　Basnett。Mr。BasnettthoughthehadseldomseenamoredisagreeableorformidablemanthanthisfriendofMary's，thissarcastic-looking，white-facedMr。Denham，whoseemedtodemand，asifbyright，anaccountoftheirproposals，andtocriticizethembeforehehadheardthem。Nevertheless，heexplainedhisprojectsasclearlyashecould，andknewthathewishedMr。Denhamtothinkwellofthem。
　　“Isee，“saidRalph，whenhehaddone。“D'youknow，Mary，“hesuddenlyremarked，“IbelieveI'minforacold。Haveyouanyquinine？“Thelookwhichhecastatherfrightenedher；itexpressedmutely，perhapswithouthisownconsciousness，somethingdeep，wild，andpassionate。
　　Shelefttheroomatonce。HerheartbeatfastattheknowledgeofRalph'spresence；butitbeatwithpain，andwithanextraordinaryfear。Shestoodlisteningforamomenttothevoicesinthenextroom。
　　“Ofcourse，Iagreewithyou，“sheheardRalphsay，inthisstrangevoice，toMr。Basnett。“Butthere'smorethatmightbedone。HaveyouseenJudson，forinstance？Youshouldmakeapointofgettinghim。“
　　Maryreturnedwiththequinine。
　　“Judson'saddress？“Mr。Basnettinquired，pullingouthisnotebookandpreparingtowrite。Fortwentyminutes，perhaps，hewrotedownnames，addresses，andothersuggestionsthatRalphdictatedtohim。Then，whenRalphfellsilent，Mr。Basnettfeltthathispresencewasnotdesired，andthankingRalphforhishelp，withasensethathewasveryyoungandignorantcomparedwithhim，hesaidgood-bye。
　　“Mary，“saidRalph，directlyMr。Basnetthadshutthedoorandtheywerealonetogether。“Mary，“herepeated。ButtheolddifficultyofspeakingtoMarywithoutreservepreventedhimfromcontinuing。HisdesiretoproclaimhisloveforKatharinewasstillstronginhim，buthehadfelt，directlyhesawMary，thathecouldnotshareitwithher。ThefeelingincreasedashesattalkingtoMr。Basnett。AndyetallthetimehewasthinkingofKatharine，andmarvelingathislove。
　　ThetoneinwhichhespokeMary'snamewasharsh。
　　“Whatisit，Ralph？“sheasked，startledbyhistone。Shelookedathimanxiously，andherlittlefrownshowedthatshewastryingpainfullytounderstandhim，andwaspuzzled。Hecouldfeelhergropingforhismeaning，andhewasannoyedwithher，andthoughthowhehadalwaysfoundherslow，painstaking，andclumsy。Hehadbehavedbadlytoher，too，whichmadehisirritationthemoreacute。Withoutwaitingforhimtoanswer，sheroseasifhisanswerwereindifferenttoher，andbegantoputinordersomepapersthatMr。Basnetthadleftonthetable。Shehummedascrapofatuneunderherbreath，andmovedabouttheroomasifshewereoccupiedinmakingthingstidy，andhadnootherconcern。
　　“You'llstayanddine？“shesaidcasually，returningtoherseat。
　　“No，“Ralphreplied。Shedidnotpresshimfurther。Theysatsidebysidewithoutspeaking，andMaryreachedherhandforherworkbasket，andtookouthersewingandthreadedaneedle。
　　“That'sacleveryoungman，“Ralphobserved，referringtoMr。Basnett。
　　“I'mgladyouthoughtso。It'stremendouslyinterestingwork，andconsideringeverything，Ithinkwe'vedoneverywell。ButI'minclinedtoagreewithyou；weoughttotrytobemoreconciliatory。We'reabsurdlystrict。It'sdifficulttoseethattheremaybesenseinwhatone'sopponentssay，thoughtheyareone'sopponents。HoraceBasnettiscertainlytoouncompromising。Imustn'tforgettoseethathewritesthatlettertoJudson。You'retoobusy，Isuppose，tocomeontoourcommittee？“Shespokeinthemostimpersonalmanner。
　　“Imaybeoutoftown，“Ralphreplied，withequaldistanceofmanner。
　　“Ourexecutivemeetseveryweek，ofcourse，“sheobserved。“Butsomeofourmembersdon'tcomemorethanonceamonth。MembersofParliamentaretheworst；itwasamistake，Ithink，toaskthem。“
　　Shewentonsewinginsilence。
　　“You'venottakenyourquinine，“shesaid，lookingupandseeingthetabloidsuponthemantelpiece。
　　“Idon'twantit，“saidRalphshortly。
　　“Well，youknowbest，“sherepliedtranquilly。
　　“Mary，I'mabrute！“heexclaimed。“HereIcomeandwasteyourtime，anddonothingbutmakemyselfdisagreeable。“
　　“Acoldcomingondoesmakeonefeelwretched，“shereplied。
　　“I'venotgotacold。Thatwasalie。There'snothingthematterwithme。I'mmad，Isuppose。Ioughttohavehadthedecencytokeepaway。
　　ButIwantedtoseeyou——Iwantedtotellyou——I'minlove，Mary。“Hespoketheword，but，ashespokeit，itseemedrobbedofsubstance。
　　“Inlove，areyou？“shesaidquietly。“I'mglad，Ralph。“
　　“IsupposeI'minlove。Anyhow，I'moutofmymind。Ican'tthink，I
　　can'twork，Idon'tcareahangforanythingintheworld。GoodHeavens，Mary！I'mintorment！OnemomentI'mhappy；nextI'mmiserable。Ihateherforhalfanhour；thenI'dgivemywholelifetobewithherfortenminutes；allthetimeIdon'tknowwhatIfeel，orwhyIfeelit；it'sinsanity，andyetit'sperfectlyreasonable。Canyoumakeanysenseofit？Canyouseewhat'shappened？I'mraving，I
　　know；don'tlisten，Mary；goonwithyourwork。“
　　Heroseandbegan，asusual，topaceupanddowntheroom。Heknewthatwhathehadjustsaidboreverylittleresemblancetowhathefelt，forMary'spresenceacteduponhimlikeaverystrongmagnet，drawingfromhimcertainexpressionswhichwerenotthosehemadeuseofwhenhespoketohimself，nordidtheyrepresenthisdeepestfeelings。Hefeltalittlecontemptforhimselfathavingspokenthus；
　　butsomehowhehadbeenforcedintospeech。
　　“Dositdown，“saidMarysuddenly。“Youmakemeso——“Shespokewithunusualirritability，andRalph，noticingitwithsurprise，satdownatonce。
　　“Youhaven'ttoldmehername——you'drathernot，Isuppose？“
　　“Hername？KatharineHilbery。“
　　“Butshe'sengaged——“
　　“ToRodney。They'retobemarriedinSeptember。“
　　“Isee，“saidMary。Butintruththecalmofhismanner，nowthathewassittingdownoncemore，wraptherinthepresenceofsomethingwhichshefelttobesostrong，somysterious，soincalculable，thatshescarcelydaredtoattempttointerceptitbyanywordorquestionthatshewasabletoframe。ShelookedatRalphblankly，withakindofaweinherface，herlipsslightlyparted，andherbrowsraised。Hewasapparentlyquiteunconsciousofhergaze。Then，asifshecouldlooknolonger，sheleantbackinherchair，andhalfclosedhereyes。
　　Thedistancebetweenthemhurtherterribly；onethingafteranothercameintohermind，temptinghertoassailRalphwithquestions，toforcehimtoconfideinher，andtoenjoyoncemorehisintimacy。Butsherejectedeveryimpulse，forshecouldnotspeakwithoutdoingviolencetosomereservewhichhadgrownbetweenthem，puttingthemalittlefarfromeachother，sothatheseemedtoherdignifiedandremote，likeapersonshenolongerknewwell。
　　“IsthereanythingthatIcoulddoforyou？“sheaskedgently，andevenwithcourtesy，atlength。
　　“Youcouldseeher——no，that'snotwhatIwant；youmustn'tbotheraboutme，Mary。“He，too，spokeverygently。
　　“I'mafraidnothirdpersoncandoanythingtohelp，“sheadded。
　　“No，“heshookhishead。“Katharinewassayingto-dayhowlonelyweare。“ShesawtheeffortwithwhichhespokeKatharine'sname，andbelievedthatheforcedhimselftomakeamendsnowforhisconcealmentinthepast。Atanyrate，shewasconsciousofnoangeragainsthim；
　　butratherofadeeppityforonecondemnedtosufferasshehadsuffered。ButinthecaseofKatharineitwasdifferent；shewasindignantwithKatharine。
　　“There'salwayswork，“shesaid，alittleaggressively。
　　Ralphmoveddirectly。
　　“Doyouwanttobeworkingnow？“heasked。
　　“No，no。It'sSunday，“shereplied。“IwasthinkingofKatharine。Shedoesn'tunderstandaboutwork。She'sneverhadto。Shedoesn'tknowwhatworkis。I'veonlyfoundoutmyselfquitelately。Butit'sthethingthatsavesone——I'msureofthat。“
　　“Thereareotherthings，aren'tthere？“hehesitated。
　　“Nothingthatonecancountupon，“shereturned。“Afterall，otherpeople——“shestopped，butforcedherselftogoon。“WhereshouldIbenowifIhadn'tgottogotomyofficeeveryday？Thousandsofpeoplewouldtellyouthesamething——thousandsofwomen。Itellyou，workistheonlythingthatsavedme，Ralph。“Hesethismouth，asifherwordsrainedblowsonhim；helookedasifhehadmadeuphismindtobearanythingshemightsay，insilence。Hehaddeservedit，andtherewouldbereliefinhavingtobearit。Butshebrokeoff，androseasiftofetchsomethingfromthenextroom。Beforeshereachedthedoorsheturnedback，andstoodfacinghim，self-possessed，andyetdefiantandformidableinhercomposure。
　　“It'sallturnedoutsplendidlyforme，“shesaid。“Itwillforyou，too。I'msureofthat。Because，afterall，Katharineisworthit。“
　　“Mary——！“heexclaimed。Butherheadwasturnedaway，andhecouldnotsaywhathewishedtosay。“Mary，you'resplendid，“heconcluded。Shefacedhimashespoke，andgavehimherhand。Shehadsufferedandrelinquished，shehadseenherfutureturnedfromoneofinfinitepromisetooneofbarrenness，andyet，somehow，overwhatshescarcelyknew，andwithwhatresultsshecouldhardlyforetell，shehadconquered。WithRalph'seyesuponher，smilingstraightbackathimserenelyandproudly，sheknew，forthefirsttime，thatshehadconquered。Shelethimkissherhand。
　　ThestreetswereemptyenoughonSundaynight，andiftheSabbath，andthedomesticamusementspropertotheSabbath，hadnotkeptpeopleindoors，ahighstrongwindmightveryprobablyhavedoneso。RalphDenhamwasawareofatumultinthestreetmuchinaccordancewithhisownsensations。Thegusts，sweepingalongtheStrand，seemedatthesametimetoblowaclearspaceacrosstheskyinwhichstarsappeared，andforashorttimethequicks-peedingsilvermoonridingthroughclouds，asiftheywerewavesofwatersurgingroundherandoverher。Theyswampedher，butsheemerged；theybrokeoverherandcoveredheragain；sheissuedforthindomitable。Inthecountryfieldsallthewreckageofwinterwasbeingdispersed；thedeadleaves，thewitheredbracken，thedryanddiscoloredgrass，butnobudwouldbebroken，norwouldthenewstalksthatshowedabovetheearthtakeanyharm，andperhapsto-morrowalineofblueoryellowwouldshowthroughaslitintheirgreen。ButthewhirloftheatmospherealonewasinDenham'smood，andwhatofstarorblossomappearedwasonlyasalightgleamingforaseconduponheapedwavesfastfollowingeachother。HehadnotbeenabletospeaktoMary，thoughforamomenthehadcomenearenoughtobetantalizedbyawonderfulpossibilityofunderstanding。Butthedesiretocommunicatesomethingoftheverygreatestimportancepossessedhimcompletely；hestillwishedtobestowthisgiftuponsomeotherhumanbeing；hesoughttheircompany。
　　Morebyinstinctthanbyconsciouschoice，hetookthedirectionwhichledtoRodney'srooms。Heknockedloudlyuponhisdoor；butnooneanswered。Herangthebell。IttookhimsometimetoacceptthefactthatRodneywasout。Whenhecouldnolongerpretendthatthesoundofthewindintheoldbuildingwasthesoundofsomeonerisingfromhischair，herandownstairsagain，asifhisgoalhadbeenalteredandonlyjustrevealedtohim。HewalkedinthedirectionofChelsea。
　　Butphysicalfatigue，forhehadnotdinedandhadtrampedbothfarandfast，madehimsitforamomentuponaseatontheEmbankment。Oneoftheregularoccupantsofthoseseats，anelderlymanwhohaddrunkhimself，probably，outofworkandlodging，driftedup，beggedamatch，andsatdownbesidehim。Itwasawindynight，hesaid；timeswerehard；somelongstoryofbadluckandinjusticefollowed，toldsooftenthatthemanseemedtobetalkingtohimself，or，perhaps，theneglectofhisaudiencehadlongmadeanyattempttocatchtheirattentionseemscarcelyworthwhile。WhenhebegantospeakRalphhadawilddesiretotalktohim；toquestionhim；tomakehimunderstand。
　　Hedid，infact，interrupthimatonepoint；butitwasuseless。Theancientstoryoffailure，ill-luck，undeserveddisaster，wentdownthewind，disconnectedsyllablesflyingpastRalph'searswithaqueeralternationofloudnessandfaintnessasif，atcertainmoments，theman'smemoryofhiswrongsrevivedandthenflagged，dyingdownatlastintoagrumbleofresignation，whichseemedtorepresentafinallapseintotheaccustomeddespair。TheunhappyvoiceafflictedRalph，butitalsoangeredhim。Andwhentheelderlymanrefusedtolistenandmumbledon，anoddimagecametohismindofalighthousebesiegedbytheflyingbodiesoflostbirds，whoweredashedsenseless，bythegale，againsttheglass。Hehadastrangesensationthathewasbothlighthouseandbird；hewassteadfastandbrilliant；andatthesametimehewaswhirled，withallotherthings，senselessagainsttheglass。Hegotup，lefthistributeofsilver，andpressedon，withthewindagainsthim。Theimageofthelighthouseandthestormfullofbirdspersisted，takingtheplaceofmoredefinitethoughts，ashewalkedpasttheHousesofParliamentanddownGrosvenorRoad，bythesideoftheriver。Inhisstateofphysicalfatigue，detailsmergedthemselvesinthevasterprospect，ofwhichtheflyinggloomandtheintermittentlightsoflamp-postsandprivatehousesweretheoutwardtoken，butheneverlosthissenseofwalkinginthedirectionofKatharine'shouse。Hetookitforgrantedthatsomethingwouldthenhappen，and，ashewalkedon，hismindbecamemoreandmorefullofpleasureandexpectancy。Withinacertainradiusofherhousethestreetscameundertheinfluenceofherpresence。EachhousehadanindividualityknowntoRalph，becauseofthetremendousindividualityofthehouseinwhichshelived。ForsomeyardsbeforereachingtheHilberys'doorhewalkedinatranceofpleasure，butwhenhereachedit，andpushedthegateofthelittlegardenopen，hehesitated。Hedidnotknowwhattodonext。Therewasnohurry，however，fortheoutsideofthehouseheldpleasureenoughtolasthimsometimelonger。Hecrossedtheroad，andleantagainstthebalustradeoftheEmbankment，fixinghiseyesuponthehouse。
　　Lightsburntinthethreelongwindowsofthedrawing-room。Thespaceoftheroombehindbecame，inRalph'svision，thecenterofthedark，flyingwildernessoftheworld；thejustificationforthewelterofconfusionsurroundingit；thesteadylightwhichcastitsbeams，likethoseofalighthouse，withsearchingcomposureoverthetracklesswaste。Inthislittlesanctuaryweregatheredtogetherseveraldifferentpeople，buttheiridentitywasdissolvedinageneralgloryofsomethingthatmight，perhaps，becalledcivilization；atanyrate，alldryness，allsafety，allthatstoodupabovethesurgeandpreservedaconsciousnessofitsown，wascenteredinthedrawing-roomoftheHilberys。Itspurposewasbeneficent；andyetsofarabovehislevelastohavesomethingaustereaboutit，alightthatcastitselfoutandyetkeptitselfaloof。Thenhebegan，inhismind，todistinguishdifferentindividualswithin，consciouslyrefusingasyettoattackthefigureofKatharine。HisthoughtslingeredoverMrs。
　　HilberyandCassandra；andthenheturnedtoRodneyandMr。Hilbery。
　　Physically，hesawthembathedinthatsteadyflowofyellowlightwhichfilledthelongoblongsofthewindows；intheirmovementstheywerebeautiful；andintheirspeechhefiguredareserveofmeaning，unspoken，butunderstood。Atlength，afterallthishalf-consciousselectionandarrangement，heallowedhimselftoapproachthefigureofKatharineherself；andinstantlythescenewasfloodedwithexcitement。Hedidnotseeherinthebody；heseemedcuriouslytoseeherasashapeoflight，thelightitself；heseemed，simplifiedandexhaustedashewas，tobelikeoneofthoselostbirdsfascinatedbythelighthouseandheldtotheglassbythesplendoroftheblaze。
　　ThesethoughtsdrovehimtotrampabeatupanddownthepavementbeforetheHilberys'gate。Hedidnottroublehimselftomakeanyplansforthefuture。Somethingofanunknownkindwoulddecideboththecomingyearandthecominghour。Nowandagain，inhisvigil，hesoughtthelightinthelongwindows，orglancedattheraywhichgildedafewleavesandafewbladesofgrassinthelittlegarden。
　　Foralongtimethelightburntwithoutchanging。Hehadjustreachedthelimitofhisbeatandwasturning，whenthefrontdooropened，andtheaspectofthehousewasentirelychanged。Ablackfigurecamedownthelittlepathwayandpausedatthegate。DenhamunderstoodinstantlythatitwasRodney。Withouthesitation，andconsciousonlyofagreatfriendlinessforanyonecomingfromthatlightedroom，hewalkedstraightuptohimandstoppedhim。IntheflurryofthewindRodneywastakenaback，andforthemomenttriedtopresson，mutteringsomething，asifhesuspectedademanduponhischarity。
　　“Goodness，Denham，whatareyoudoinghere？“heexclaimed，recognizinghim。
　　Ralphmumbledsomethingaboutbeingonhiswayhome。Theywalkedontogether，thoughRodneywalkedquickenoughtomakeitplainthathehadnowishforcompany。
　　Hewasveryunhappy。ThatafternoonCassandrahadrepulsedhim；hehadtriedtoexplaintoherthedifficultiesofthesituation，andtosuggestthenatureofhisfeelingsforherwithoutsayinganythingdefiniteoranythingoffensivetoher。Buthehadlosthishead；underthegoadofKatharine'sridiculehehadsaidtoomuch，andCassandra，superbinherdignityandseverity，hadrefusedtohearanotherword，andthreatenedanimmediatereturntoherhome。Hisagitation，afteraneveningspentbetweenthetwowomen，wasextreme。Moreover，hecouldnothelpsuspectingthatRalphwaswanderingneartheHilberys'
　　house，atthishour，forreasonsconnectedwithKatharine。Therewasprobablysomeunderstandingbetweenthem——notthatanythingofthekindmatteredtohimnow。HewasconvincedthathehadnevercaredforanyonesaveCassandra，andKatharine'sfuturewasnoconcernofhis。
　　Aloud，hesaid，shortly，thathewasverytiredandwishedtofindacab。ButonSundaynight，ontheEmbankment，cabswerehardtocomeby，andRodneyfoundhimselfconstrainedtowalksomedistance，atanyrate，inDenham'scompany。Denhammaintainedhissilence。Rodney'sirritationlapsed。Hefoundthesilenceoddlysuggestiveofthegoodmasculinequalitieswhichhemuchrespected，andhadatthismomentgreatreasontoneed。Afterthemystery，difficulty，anduncertaintyofdealingwiththeothersex，intercoursewithone'sownisapttohaveacomposingandevenennoblinginfluence，sinceplainspeakingispossibleandsubterfugesofnoavail。Rodney，too，wasmuchinneedofaconfidant；Katharine，despiteherpromisesofhelp，hadfailedhimatthecriticalmoment；shehadgoneoffwithDenham；shewas，perhaps，tormentingDenhamasshehadtormentedhim。Howgraveandstableheseemed，speakinglittle，andwalkingfirmly，comparedwithwhatRodneyknewofhisowntormentsandindecisions！HebegantocastaboutforsomewayoftellingthestoryofhisrelationswithKatharineandCassandrathatwouldnotlowerhiminDenham'seyes。Itthenoccurredtohimthat，perhaps，KatharineherselfhadconfidedinDenham；theyhadsomethingincommon；itwaslikelythattheyhaddiscussedhimthatveryafternoon。Thedesiretodiscoverwhattheyhadsaidofhimnowcameuppermostinhismind。HerecalledKatharine'slaugh；herememberedthatshehadgone，laughing，towalkwithDenham。
　　“Didyoustaylongafterwe'dleft？“heaskedabruptly。
　　“No。Wewentbacktomyhouse。“
　　ThisseemedtoconfirmRodney'sbeliefthathehadbeendiscussed。Heturnedovertheunpalatableideaforawhile，insilence。
　　“Womenareincomprehensiblecreatures，Denham！“hethenexclaimed。
　　“Um，“saidDenham，whoseemedtohimselfpossessedofcompleteunderstanding，notmerelyofwomen，butoftheentireuniverse。HecouldreadRodney，too，likeabook。Heknewthathewasunhappy，andhepitiedhim，andwishedtohelphim。
　　“Yousaysomethingandthey——flyintoapassion。Orfornoreasonatall，theylaugh。Itakeitthatnoamountofeducationwill——“Theremainderofthesentencewaslostinthehighwind，againstwhichtheyhadtostruggle；butDenhamunderstoodthathereferredtoKatharine'slaughter，andthatthememoryofitwasstillhurtinghim。
　　IncomparisonwithRodney，Denhamfelthimselfverysecure；hesawRodneyasoneofthelostbirdsdashedsenselessagainsttheglass；
　　oneoftheflyingbodiesofwhichtheairwasfull。ButheandKatharinewerealonetogether，aloft，splendid，andluminouswithatwofoldradiance。Hepitiedtheunstablecreaturebesidehim；hefeltadesiretoprotecthim，exposedwithouttheknowledgewhichmadehisownwaysodirect。Theywereunitedastheadventurousareunited，thoughonereachesthegoalandtheotherperishesbytheway。
　　“Youcouldn'tlaughatsomeoneyoucaredfor。“
　　Thissentence，apparentlyaddressedtonootherhumanbeing，reachedDenham'sears。Thewindseemedtomuffleitandflyawaywithitdirectly。HadRodneyspokenthosewords？
　　“Youloveher。“Wasthathisownvoice，whichseemedtosoundintheairseveralyardsinfrontofhim？
　　“I'vesufferedtortures，Denham，tortures！“
　　“Yes，yes，Iknowthat。“
　　“She'slaughedatme。“
　　“Never——tome。“
　　Thewindblewaspacebetweenthewords——blewthemsofarawaythattheyseemedunspoken。
　　“HowI'velovedher！“
　　ThiswascertainlyspokenbythemanatDenham'sside。ThevoicehadallthemarksofRodney'scharacter，andrecalled，with；strangevividness，hispersonalappearance。Denhamcouldseehimagainsttheblankbuildingsandtowersofthehorizon。Hesawhimdignified，exalted，andtragic，ashemighthaveappearedthinkingofKatharinealoneinhisroomsatnight。
　　“IaminlovewithKatharinemyself。ThatiswhyIamhereto-night。“
　　Ralphspokedistinctlyanddeliberately，asifRodney'sconfessionhadmadethisstatementnecessary。
　　Rodneyexclaimedsomethinginarticulate。
　　“Ah，I'vealwaysknownit，“hecried，“I'veknownitfromthefirst。
　　You'llmarryher！“
　　Thecryhadanoteofdespairinit。Againthewindinterceptedtheirwords。Theysaidnomore。Atlengththeydrewupbeneathalamp-post，simultaneously。
　　“MyGod，Denham，whatfoolswebothare！“Rodneyexclaimed。Theylookedateachother，queerly，inthelightofthelamp。Fools！Theyseemedtoconfesstoeachothertheextremedepthsoftheirfolly。Forthemoment，underthelamp-post，theyseemedtobeawareofsomecommonknowledgewhichdidawaywiththepossibilityofrivalry，andmadethemfeelmoresympathyforeachotherthanforanyoneelseintheworld。Givingsimultaneouslyalittlenod，asifinconfirmationofthisunderstanding，theypartedwithoutspeakingagain。
　　CHAPTERXXIX
　　BetweentwelveandonethatSundaynightKatharinelayinbed，notasleep，butinthattwilightregionwhereadetachedandhumorousviewofourownlotispossible；orifwemustbeserious，ourseriousnessistemperedbytheswiftoncomeofslumberandoblivion。ShesawtheformsofRalph，William，Cassandra，andherself，asiftheywereallequallyunsubstantial，and，inputtingoffreality，hadgainedakindofdignitywhichresteduponeachimpartially。Thusridofanyuncomfortablewarmthofpartisanshiporloadofobligation，shewasdroppingofftosleepwhenalighttapsoundeduponherdoor。AmomentlaterCassandrastoodbesideher，holdingacandleandspeakinginthelowtonespropertothetimeofnight。
　　“Areyouawake，Katharine？“
　　“Yes，I'mawake。Whatisit？“
　　Sherousedherself，satup，andaskedwhatinHeaven'snameCassandrawasdoing？
　　“Icouldn'tsleep，andIthoughtI'dcomeandspeaktoyou——onlyforamoment，though。I'mgoinghometo-morrow。“
　　“Home？Why，whathashappened？“
　　“Somethinghappenedto-daywhichmakesitimpossibleformetostayhere。“
　　Cassandraspokeformally，almostsolemnly；theannouncementwasclearlypreparedandmarkedacrisisoftheutmostgravity。Shecontinuedwhatseemedtobepartofasetspeech。
　　“Ihavedecidedtotellyouthewholetruth，Katharine。Williamallowedhimselftobehaveinawaywhichmademeextremelyuncomfortableto-day。“
　　Katharineseemedtowakencompletely，andatoncetobeincontrolofherself。
　　“AttheZoo？“sheasked。
　　“No，onthewayhome。Whenwehadtea。“
　　Asifforeseeingthattheinterviewmightbelong，andthenightchilly，KatharineadvisedCassandratowrapherselfinaquilt。
　　Cassandradidsowithunbrokensolemnity。
　　“There'satrainateleven，“shesaid。“IshalltellAuntMaggiethatIhavetogosuddenly……IshallmakeViolet'svisitanexcuse。
　　But，afterthinkingitover，Idon'tseehowIcangowithouttellingyouthetruth。“
　　ShewascarefultoabstainfromlookinginKatharine'sdirection。
　　Therewasaslightpause。
　　“ButIdon'tseetheleastreasonwhyyoushouldgo，“saidKatharineeventually。HervoicesoundedsoastonishinglyequablethatCassandraglancedather。Itwasimpossibletosupposethatshewaseitherindignantorsurprised；sheseemed，onthecontrary，sittingupinbed，withherarmsclaspedroundherkneesandalittlefrownonherbrow，tobethinkingcloselyuponamatterofindifferencetoher。
　　“BecauseIcan'tallowanymantobehavetomeinthatway，“Cassandrareplied，andsheadded，“particularlywhenIknowthatheisengagedtosomeoneelse。“
　　“Butyoulikehim，don'tyou？“Katharineinquired。
　　“That'sgotnothingtodowithit，“Cassandraexclaimedindignantly。
　　“Iconsiderhisconduct，underthecircumstances，mostdisgraceful。“
　　Thiswasthelastofthesentencesofherpremeditatedspeech；andhavingspokenitshewasleftunprovidedwithanymoretosayinthatparticularstyle。WhenKatharineremarked:
　　“Ishouldsayithadeverythingtodowithit，“Cassandra'sself-possessiondesertedher。
　　“Idon'tunderstandyouintheleast，Katharine。Howcanyoubehaveasyoubehave？EversinceIcamehereI'vebeenamazedbyyou！“
　　“You'veenjoyedyourself，haven'tyou？“Katharineasked。
　　“Yes，Ihave，“Cassandraadmitted。
　　“Anyhow，mybehaviorhasn'tspoiledyourvisit。“
　　“No，“Cassandraallowedoncemore。Shewascompletelyataloss。InherforecastoftheinterviewshehadtakenitforgrantedthatKatharine，afteranoutburstofincredulity，wouldagreethatCassandramustreturnhomeassoonaspossible。ButKatharine，onthecontrary，acceptedherstatementatonce，seemedneithershockednorsurprised，andmerelylookedrathermorethoughtfulthanusual。Frombeingamaturewomanchargedwithanimportantmission，Cassandrashrunktothestatureofaninexperiencedchild。
　　“DoyouthinkI'vebeenveryfoolishaboutit？“sheasked。
　　Katharinemadenoanswer，butstillsatdeliberatingsilently，andacertainfeelingofalarmtookpossessionofCassandra。Perhapsherwordshadstruckfardeeperthanshehadthought，intodepthsbeyondherreach，assomuchofKatharinewasbeyondherreach。Shethoughtsuddenlythatshehadbeenplayingwithverydangeroustools。
　　Lookingatheratlength，Katharineaskedslowly，asifshefoundthequestionverydifficulttoask。
　　“ButdoyoucareforWilliam？“
　　Shemarkedtheagitationandbewildermentofthegirl'sexpression，andhowshelookedawayfromher。
　　“Doyoumean，amIinlovewithhim？“Cassandraasked，breathingquickly，andnervouslymovingherhands。
　　“Yes，inlovewithhim，“Katharinerepeated。
　　“HowcanIlovethemanyou'reengagedtomarry？“Cassandraburstout。
　　“Hemaybeinlovewithyou。“
　　“Idon'tthinkyou'veanyrighttosaysuchthings，Katharine，“
　　Cassandraexclaimed。“Whydoyousaythem？Don'tyoumindintheleasthowWilliambehavestootherwomen？IfIwereengaged，Icouldn'tbearit！“
　　“We'renotengaged，“saidKatharine，afterapause。
　　“Katharine！“Cassandracried。
　　“No，we'renotengaged，“Katharinerepeated。“Butnooneknowsitbutourselves。“
　　“Butwhy——Idon'tunderstand——you'renotengaged！“Cassandrasaidagain。“Oh，thatexplainsit！You'renotinlovewithhim！Youdon'twanttomarryhim！“
　　“Wearen'tinlovewitheachotheranylonger，“saidKatharine，asifdisposingofsomethingforeverandever。
　　“Howqueer，howstrange，howunlikeotherpeopleyouare，Katharine，“
　　Cassandrasaid，herwholebodyandvoiceseemingtofallandcollapsetogether，andnotraceofangerorexcitementremaining，butonlyadreamyquietude。
　　“You'renotinlovewithhim？“
　　“ButIlovehim，“saidKatharine。
　　Cassandraremainedbowed，asifbytheweightoftherevelation，forsomelittlewhilelonger。NordidKatharinespeak。Herattitudewasthatofsomeonewhowishestobeconcealedasmuchaspossiblefromobservation。Shesighedprofoundly；shewasabsolutelysilent，andapparentlyovercomebyherthoughts。
　　“D'youknowwhattimeitis？“shesaidatlength，andshookherpillow，asifmakingreadyforsleep。
　　Cassandraroseobediently，andoncemoretookuphercandle。Perhapsthewhitedressing-gown，andtheloosenedhair，andsomethingunseeingintheexpressionoftheeyesgaveheralikenesstoawomanwalkinginhersleep。Katharine，atleast，thoughtso。
　　“There'snoreasonwhyIshouldgohome，then？“Cassandrasaid，pausing。“Unlessyouwantmetogo，Katharine？WhatDOyouwantmetodo？“
　　Forthefirsttimetheireyesmet。
　　“Youwantedustofallinlove，“Cassandraexclaimed，asifshereadthecertaintythere。Butasshelookedshesawasightthatsurprisedher。ThetearsroseslowlyinKatharine'seyesandstoodthere，brimmingbutcontained——thetearsofsomeprofoundemotion，happiness，grief，renunciation；anemotionsocomplexinitsnaturethattoexpressitwasimpossible，andCassandra，bendingherheadandreceivingthetearsuponhercheek，acceptedtheminsilenceastheconsecrationofherlove。
　　“Please，miss，“saidthemaid，abouteleveno'clockonthefollowingmorning，“Mrs。Milvainisinthekitchen。“
　　Alongwickerbasketofflowersandbrancheshadarrivedfromthecountry，andKatharine，kneelinguponthefloorofthedrawing-room，wassortingthemwhileCassandrawatchedherfromanarm-chair，andabsent-mindedlymadespasmodicoffersofhelpwhichwerenotaccepted。
　　Themaid'smessagehadacuriouseffectuponKatharine。
　　Sherose，walkedtothewindow，and，themaidbeinggone，saidemphaticallyandeventragically:
　　“Youknowwhatthatmeans。“
　　Cassandrahadunderstoodnothing。
　　“AuntCeliaisinthekitchen，“Katharinerepeated。
　　“Whyinthekitchen？“Cassandraasked，notunnaturally。
　　“Probablybecauseshe'sdiscoveredsomething，“Katharinereplied。
　　Cassandra'sthoughtsflewtothesubjectofherpreoccupation。
　　“Aboutus？“sheinquired。
　　“Heavenknows，“Katharinereplied。“Ishan'tletherstayinthekitchen，though。Ishallbringheruphere。“
　　ThesternnesswithwhichthiswassaidsuggestedthattobringAuntCeliaupstairswas，forsomereason，adisciplinarymeasure。
　　“Forgoodness'sake，Katharine，“Cassandraexclaimed，jumpingfromherchairandshowingsignsofagitation，“don'tberash。Don'tlethersuspect。Remember，nothing'scertain——“
　　Katharineassuredherbynoddingherheadseveraltimes，butthemannerinwhichshelefttheroomwasnotcalculatedtoinspirecompleteconfidenceinherdiplomacy。
　　Mrs。Milvainwassitting，orratherperching，upontheedgeofachairintheservants'room。Whethertherewasanysoundreasonforherchoiceofasubterraneanchamber，orwhetheritcorrespondedwiththespiritofherquest，Mrs。Milvaininvariablycameinbythebackdoorandsatintheservants'roomwhenshewasengagedinconfidentialfamilytransactions。TheostensiblereasonshegavewasthatneitherMr。norMrs。Hilberyshouldbedisturbed。But，intruth，Mrs。Milvaindependedevenmorethanmostelderlywomenofhergenerationuponthedeliciousemotionsofintimacy，agony，andsecrecy，andtheadditionalthrillprovidedbythebasementwasonenotlightlytobeforfeited。
　　SheprotestedalmostplaintivelywhenKatharineproposedtogoupstairs。
　　“I'vesomethingthatIwanttosaytoyouinPRIVATE，“shesaid，hesitatingreluctantlyuponthethresholdofherambush。
　　“Thedrawing-roomisempty——“
　　“Butwemightmeetyourmotheruponthestairs。Wemightdisturbyourfather，“Mrs。Milvainobjected，takingtheprecautiontospeakinawhisperalready。
　　ButasKatharine'spresencewasabsolutelynecessarytothesuccessoftheinterview，andasKatharineobstinatelyrecededupthekitchenstairs，Mrs。Milvainhadnocoursebuttofollowher。Sheglancedfurtivelyaboutherassheproceededupstairs，drewherskirtstogether，andsteppedwithcircumspectionpastalldoors，whethertheywereopenorshut。
　　“Nobodywilloverhearus？“shemurmured，whenthecomparativesanctuaryofthedrawing-roomhadbeenreached。“IseethatIhaveinterruptedyou，“sheadded，glancingattheflowersstrewnuponthefloor。Amomentlatersheinquired，“Wassomeonesittingwithyou？“
　　noticingahandkerchiefthatCassandrahaddroppedinherflight。
　　“Cassandrawashelpingmetoputtheflowersinwater，“saidKatharine，andshespokesofirmlyandclearlythatMrs。Milvainglancednervouslyatthemaindoorandthenatthecurtainwhichdividedthelittleroomwiththerelicsfromthedrawing-room。
　　“Ah，Cassandraisstillwithyou，“sheremarked。“AnddidWilliamsendyouthoselovelyflowers？“
　　Katharinesatdownoppositeherauntandsaidneitheryesnorno。Shelookedpasther，anditmighthavebeenthoughtthatshewasconsideringverycriticallythepatternofthecurtains。Anotheradvantageofthebasement，fromMrs。Milvain'spointofview，wasthatitmadeitnecessarytositveryclosetogether，andthelightwasdimcomparedwiththatwhichnowpouredthroughthreewindowsuponKatharineandthebasketofflowers，andgaveeventheslightangularfigureofMrs。Milvainherselfahaloofgold。
　　“They'refromStogdonHouse，“saidKatharineabruptly，withalittlejerkofherhead。
　　Mrs。Milvainfeltthatitwouldbeeasiertotellherniecewhatshewishedtosayiftheywereactuallyinphysicalcontact，forthespiritualdistancebetweenthemwasformidable。Katharine，however，madenoovertures，andMrs。Milvain，whowaspossessedofrashbutheroiccourage，plungedwithoutpreface:
　　“Peoplearetalkingaboutyou，Katharine。ThatiswhyIhavecomethismorning。YouforgivemeforsayingwhatI'dmuchrathernotsay？WhatIsayisonlyforyourownsake，mychild。“
　　“There'snothingtoforgiveyet，AuntCelia，“saidKatharine，withapparentgoodhumor。
　　“PeoplearesayingthatWilliamgoeseverywherewithyouandCassandra，andthatheisalwayspayingherattentions。AttheMarkhams'dancehesatoutfivedanceswithher。AttheZootheywereseenalonetogether。Theylefttogether。Theynevercamebackheretillsevenintheevening。Butthatisnotall。Theysayhismannerisverymarked——heisquitedifferentwhensheisthere。“
　　Mrs。Milvain，whosewordshadrunthemselvestogether，andwhosevoicehadraiseditstonealmosttooneofprotest，hereceased，andlookedintentlyatKatharine，asiftojudgetheeffectofhercommunication。
　　AslightrigidityhadpassedoverKatharine'sface。Herlipswerepressedtogether；hereyeswerecontracted，andtheywerestillfixeduponthecurtain。Thesesuperficialchangescoveredanextremeinnerloathingsuchasmightfollowthedisplayofsomehideousorindecentspectacle。Theindecentspectaclewasherownactionbeheldforthefirsttimefromtheoutside；heraunt'swordsmadeherrealizehowinfinitelyrepulsivethebodyoflifeiswithoutitssoul。
　　“Well？“shesaidatlength。
　　Mrs。Milvainmadeagestureasiftobringhercloser，butitwasnotreturned。
　　“Weallknowhowgoodyouare——howunselfish——howyousacrificeyourselftoothers。Butyou'vebeentoounselfish，Katharine。YouhavemadeCassandrahappy，andshehastakenadvantageofyourgoodness。“
　　“Idon'tunderstand，AuntCelia，“saidKatharine。“WhathasCassandradone？“
　　“CassandrahasbehavedinawaythatIcouldnothavethoughtpossible，“saidMrs。Milvainwarmly。“Shehasbeenutterlyselfish——utterlyheartless。ImustspeaktoherbeforeIgo。“
　　“Idon'tunderstand，“Katharinepersisted。
　　Mrs。Milvainlookedather。WasitpossiblethatKatharinereallydoubted？ThattherewassomethingthatMrs。Milvainherselfdidnotunderstand？Shebracedherself，andpronouncedthetremendouswords:
　　“CassandrahasstolenWilliam'slove。“
　　Stillthewordsseemedtohavecuriouslylittleeffect。
　　“Doyoumean，“saidKatharine，“thathehasfalleninlovewithher？“
　　“TherearewaysofMAKINGmenfallinlovewithone，Katharine。“
　　Katharineremainedsilent。ThesilencealarmedMrs。Milvain，andshebeganhurriedly:
　　“Nothingwouldhavemademesaythesethingsbutyourowngood。Ihavenotwishedtointerfere；Ihavenotwishedtogiveyoupain。Iamauselessoldwoman。Ihavenochildrenofmyown。Ionlywanttoseeyouhappy，Katharine。“
　　Againshestretchedforthherarms，buttheyremainedempty。
　　“YouarenotgoingtosaythesethingstoCassandra，“saidKatharinesuddenly。“You'vesaidthemtome；that'senough。“
　　KatharinespokesolowandwithsuchrestraintthatMrs。Milvainhadtostraintocatchherwords，andwhensheheardthemshewasdazedbythem。
　　“I'vemadeyouangry！IknewIshould！“sheexclaimed。Shequivered，andakindofsobshookher；buteventohavemadeKatharineangrywassomerelief，andallowedhertofeelsomeoftheagreeablesensationsofmartyrdom。
　　“Yes，“saidKatharine，standingup，“I'msoangrythatIdon'twanttosayanythingmore。Ithinkyou'dbettergo，AuntCelia。Wedon'tunderstandeachother。“
　　AtthesewordsMrs。Milvainlookedforamomentterriblyapprehensive；
　　sheglancedatherniece'sface，butreadnopitythere，whereuponshefoldedherhandsuponablackvelvetbagwhichshecarriedinanattitudethatwasalmostoneofprayer。Whateverdivinitysheprayedto，ifprayshedid，atanyratesherecoveredherdignityinasingularwayandfacedherniece。
　　“Marriedlove，“shesaidslowlyandwithemphasisuponeveryword，“isthemostsacredofallloves。Theloveofhusbandandwifeisthemostholyweknow。ThatisthelessonMamma'schildrenlearntfromher；
　　thatiswhattheycanneverforget。Ihavetriedtospeakasshewouldhavewishedherdaughtertospeak。Youarehergrandchild。“
　　Katharineseemedtojudgethisdefenceuponitsmerits，andthentoconvictitoffalsity。
　　“Idon'tseethatthereisanyexcuseforyourbehavior，“shesaid。
　　AtthesewordsMrs。Milvainroseandstoodforamomentbesideherniece。Shehadnevermetwithsuchtreatmentbefore，andshedidnotknowwithwhatweaponstobreakdowntheterriblewallofresistanceofferedherbyonewho，byvirtueofyouthandbeautyandsex，shouldhavebeenalltearsandsupplications。ButMrs。Milvainherselfwasobstinate；uponamatterofthiskindshecouldnotadmitthatshewaseitherbeatenormistaken。Shebeheldherselfthechampionofmarriedloveinitspurityandsupremacy；whatherniecestoodforshewasquiteunabletosay，butshewasfilledwiththegravestsuspicions。
　　Theoldwomanandtheyoungwomanstoodsidebysideinunbrokensilence。Mrs。Milvaincouldnotmakeuphermindtowithdrawwhileherprinciplestrembledinthebalanceandhercuriosityremainedunappeased。SheransackedhermindforsomequestionthatshouldforceKatharinetoenlightenher，butthesupplywaslimited，thechoicedifficult，andwhileshehesitatedthedooropenedandWilliamRodneycamein。Hecarriedinhishandanenormousandsplendidbunchofwhiteandpurpleflowers，and，eithernotseeingMrs。Milvain，ordisregardingher，headvancedstraighttoKatharine，andpresentedtheflowerswiththewords:
　　“Theseareforyou，Katharine。“
　　KatharinetookthemwithaglancethatMrs。Milvaindidnotfailtointercept。Butwithallherexperience，shedidnotknowwhattomakeofit。Shewatchedanxiouslyforfurtherillumination。Williamgreetedherwithoutobvioussignofguilt，and，explainingthathehadaholiday，bothheandKatharineseemedtotakeitforgrantedthathisholidayshouldbecelebratedwithflowersandspentinCheyneWalk。A
　　pausefollowed；that，too，wasnatural；andMrs。Milvainbegantofeelthatshelaidherselfopentoachargeofselfishnessifshestayed。
　　Themerepresenceofayoungmanhadalteredherdispositioncuriously，andfilledherwithadesireforascenewhichshouldendinanemotionalforgiveness。Shewouldhavegivenmuchtoclaspbothnephewandnieceinherarms。Butshecouldnotflatterherselfthatanyhopeofthecustomaryexaltationremained。
　　“Imustgo，“shesaid，andshewasconsciousofanextremeflatnessofspirit。
　　Neitherofthemsaidanythingtostopher。Williampolitelyescortedherdownstairs，andsomehow，amongstherprotestsandembarrassments，Mrs。Milvainforgottosaygood-byetoKatharine。Shedeparted，murmuringwordsaboutmassesofflowersandadrawing-roomalwaysbeautifuleveninthedepthsofwinter。
　　WilliamcamebacktoKatharine；hefoundherstandingwherehehadlefther。
　　“I'vecometobeforgiven，“hesaid。“Ourquarrelwasperfectlyhatefultome。I'venotsleptallnight。You'renotangrywithme，areyou，Katharine？“
　　Shecouldnotbringherselftoanswerhimuntilshehadridhermindoftheimpressionthatheraunthadmadeonher。Itseemedtoherthattheveryflowerswerecontaminated，andCassandra'spocket-
　　handkerchief，forMrs。Milvainhadusedthemforevidenceinherinvestigations。
　　“She'sbeenspyinguponus，“shesaid，“followingusaboutLondon，overhearingwhatpeoplearesaying——“
　　“Mrs。Milvain？“Rodneyexclaimed。“Whathasshetoldyou？“
　　Hisairofopenconfidenceentirelyvanished。
　　“Oh，peoplearesayingthatyou'reinlovewithCassandra，andthatyoudon'tcareforme。“
　　“Theyhaveseenus？“heasked。
　　“Everythingwe'vedoneforafortnighthasbeenseen。“
　　“Itoldyouthatwouldhappen！“heexclaimed。
　　Hewalkedtothewindowinevidentperturbation。Katharinewastooindignanttoattendtohim。Shewassweptawaybytheforceofherownanger。ClaspingRodney'sflowers，shestooduprightandmotionless。
　　Rodneyturnedawayfromthewindow。
　　“It'sallbeenamistake，“hesaid。“Iblamemyselfforit。Ishouldhaveknownbetter。Iletyoupersuademeinamomentofmadness。Ibegyoutoforgetmyinsanity，Katharine。“
　　“ShewishedeventopersecuteCassandra！“Katharineburstout，notlisteningtohim。“Shethreatenedtospeaktoher。She'scapableofit——she'scapableofanything！“
　　“Mrs。Milvainisnottactful，Iknow，butyouexaggerate，Katharine。
　　Peoplearetalkingaboutus。Shewasrighttotellus。Itonlyconfirmsmyownfeeling——thepositionismonstrous。“
　　AtlengthKatharinerealizedsomepartofwhathemeant。
　　“Youdon'tmeanthatthisinfluencesyou，William？“sheaskedinamazement。
　　“Itdoes，“hesaid，flushing。“It'sintenselydisagreeabletome。I
　　can'tendurethatpeopleshouldgossipaboutus。Andthenthere'syourcousin——Cassandra——“Hepausedinembarrassment。
　　“Icameherethismorning，Katharine，“heresumed，withachangeofvoice，“toaskyoutoforgetmyfolly，mybadtemper，myinconceivablebehavior。Icame，Katharine，toaskwhetherwecan'treturntothepositionwewereinbeforethis——thisseasonoflunacy。Willyoutakemeback，Katharine，oncemoreandforever？“
　　Nodoubtherbeauty，intensifiedbyemotionandenhancedbytheflowersofbrightcolorandstrangeshapewhichshecarriedwroughtuponRodney，andhaditsshareinbestowinguponhertheoldromance。
　　Butalessnoblepassionworkedinhim，too；hewasinflamedbyjealousy。Histentativeofferofaffectionhadbeenrudelyand，ashethought，completelyrepulsedbyCassandraontheprecedingday。
　　Denham'sconfessionwasinhismind。Andultimately，Katharine'sdominionoverhimwasofthesortthatthefeversofthenightcannotexorcise。
　　“Iwasasmuchtoblameasyouwereyesterday，“shesaidgently，disregardinghisquestion。“Iconfess，William，thesightofyouandCassandratogethermademejealous，andIcouldn'tcontrolmyself。I
　　laughedatyou，Iknow。“
　　“Youjealous！“Williamexclaimed。“lassureyou，Katharine，you'venottheslightestreasontobejealous。Cassandradislikesme，sofarasshefeelsaboutmeatall。Iwasfoolishenoughtotrytoexplainthenatureofourrelationship。Icouldn'tresisttellingherwhatI
　　supposedmyselftofeelforher。Sherefusedtolisten，veryrightly。
　　Butsheleftmeinnodoubtofherscorn。“
　　Katharinehesitated。Shewasconfused，agitated，physicallytired，andhadalreadytoreckonwiththeviolentfeelingofdislikearousedbyherauntwhichstillvibratedthroughalltherestofherfeelings。
　　Shesankintoachairanddroppedherflowersuponherlap。
　　“Shecharmedme，“Rodneycontinued。“IthoughtIlovedher。Butthat'sathingofthepast。It'sallover，Katharine。Itwasadream——anhallucination。Wewerebothequallytoblame，butnoharm'sdoneifyoubelievehowtrulyIcareforyou。Sayyoubelieveme！“
　　Hestoodoverher，asifinreadinesstoseizethefirstsignofherassent。Preciselyatthatmoment，owing，perhaps，tohervicissitudesoffeeling，allsenseoflovelefther，asinamomentamistliftsfromtheearth。Andwhenthemistdepartedaskeletonworldandblanknessaloneremained——aterribleprospectfortheeyesofthelivingtobehold。Hesawthelookofterrorinherface，andwithoutunderstandingitsorigin，tookherhandinhis。Withthesenseofcompanionshipreturnedadesire，likethatofachildforshelter，toacceptwhathehadtoofferher——andatthatmomentitseemedthatheofferedhertheonlythingthatcouldmakeittolerabletolive。Shelethimpresshislipstohercheek，andleantherheaduponhisarm。
　　Itwasthemomentofhistriumph。Itwastheonlymomentinwhichshebelongedtohimandwasdependentuponhisprotection。
　　“Yes，yes，yes，“hemurmured，“youacceptme，Katharine。Youloveme。“
　　Foramomentsheremainedsilent。Hethenheardhermurmur:
　　“CassandralovesyoumorethanIdo。“
　　“Cassandra？“hewhispered。
　　“Shelovesyou，“Katharinerepeated。Sheraisedherselfandrepeatedthesentenceyetathirdtime。“Shelovesyou。“
　　Williamslowlyraisedhimself。HebelievedinstinctivelywhatKatharinesaid，butwhatitmeanttohimhewasunabletounderstand。
　　CouldCassandralovehim？CouldshehavetoldKatharinethatshelovedhim？Thedesiretoknowthetruthofthiswasurgent，unknownthoughtheconsequencesmightbe。ThethrillofexcitementassociatedwiththethoughtofCassandraoncemoretookpossessionofhim。Nolongerwasittheexcitementofanticipationandignorance；itwastheexcitementofsomethinggreaterthanapossibility，fornowheknewherandhadmeasureofthesympathybetweenthem。Butwhocouldgivehimcertainty？CouldKatharine，Katharinewhohadlatelylaininhisarms，Katharineherselfthemostadmiredofwomen？Helookedather，withdoubt，andwithanxiety，butsaidnothing。
　　“Yes，yes，“shesaid，interpretinghiswishforassurance，“it'strue。
　　Iknowwhatshefeelsforyou。“
　　“Shelovesme？“
　　Katharinenodded。
　　“Ah，butwhoknowswhatIfeel？HowcanIbesureofmyfeelingmyself？TenminutesagoIaskedyoutomarryme。Istillwishit——I
　　don'tknowwhatIwish——“
　　Heclenchedhishandsandturnedaway。Hesuddenlyfacedheranddemanded:“TellmewhatyoufeelforDenham。“
　　“ForRalphDenham？“sheasked。“Yes！“sheexclaimed，asifshehadfoundtheanswertosomemomentarilyperplexingquestion。“You'rejealousofme，William；butyou'renotinlovewithme。I'mjealousofyou。Therefore，forbothoursakes，Isay，speaktoCassandraatonce。“
　　Hetriedtocomposehimself。Hewalkedupanddowntheroom；hepausedatthewindowandsurveyedtheflowersstrewnuponthefloor。
　　MeanwhilehisdesiretohaveKatharine'sassuranceconfirmedbecamesoinsistentthathecouldnolongerdenytheovermasteringstrengthofhisfeelingforCassandra。
　　“You'reright，“heexclaimed，comingtoastandstillandrappinghisknucklessharplyuponasmalltablecarryingoneslendervase。“IloveCassandra。“
　　Ashesaidthis，thecurtainshangingatthedoorofthelittleroomparted，andCassandraherselfsteppedforth。
　　“Ihaveoverheardeveryword！“sheexclaimed。
　　Apausesucceededthisannouncement。Rodneymadeastepforwardandsaid:
　　“ThenyouknowwhatIwishtoaskyou。Givemeyouranswer——“
　　Sheputherhandsbeforeherface；sheturnedawayandseemedtoshrinkfrombothofthem。
　　“WhatKatharinesaid，“shemurmured。“But，“sheadded，raisingherheadwithalookoffearfromthekisswithwhichhegreetedheradmission，“howfrightfullydifficultitallis！Ourfeelings，Imean——yoursandmineandKatharine's。Katharine，tellme，arewedoingright？“
　　“Right——ofcoursewe'redoingright，“Williamansweredher，“if，afterwhatyou'veheard，youcanmarryamanofsuchincomprehensibleconfusion，suchdeplorable——“
　　“Don't，William，“Katharineinterposed；“Cassandrahasheardus；shecanjudgewhatweare；sheknowsbetterthanwecouldtellher。“
　　But，stillholdingWilliam'shand，questionsanddesireswelledupinCassandra'sheart。Hadshedonewronginlistening？WhydidAuntCeliablameher？DidKatharinethinkherright？Aboveall，didWilliamreallyloveher，foreverandever，betterthananyone？
　　“Imustbefirstwithhim，Katharine！“sheexclaimed。“Ican'tsharehimevenwithyou。“
　　“Ishallneveraskthat，“saidKatharine。Shemovedalittleawayfromwheretheysatandbeganhalf-consciouslysortingherflowers。
　　“Butyou'vesharedwithme，“Cassandrasaid。“Whycan'tIsharewithyou？WhyamIsomean？Iknowwhyitis，“sheadded。“Weunderstandeachother，WilliamandI。You'veneverunderstoodeachother。You'retoodifferent。“
　　“I'veneveradmiredanybodymore，“Williaminterposed。
　　“It'snotthat“——Cassandratriedtoenlightenhim——“it'sunderstanding。“
　　“HaveIneverunderstoodyou，Katharine？HaveIbeenveryselfish？“
　　“Yes，“Cassandrainterposed。“You'veaskedherforsympathy，andshe'snotsympathetic；you'vewantedhertobepractical，andshe'snotpractical。You'vebeenselfish；you'vebeenexacting——andsohasKatharine——butitwasn'tanybody'sfault。“
　　Katharinehadlistenedtothisattemptatanalysiswithkeenattention。Cassandra'swordsseemedtorubtheoldblurredimageoflifeandfreshenitsomarvelouslythatitlookednewagain。SheturnedtoWilliam。
　　“It'squitetrue，“shesaid。“Itwasnobody'sfault。“
　　“Therearemanythingsthathe'llalwayscometoyoufor，“Cassandracontinued，stillreadingfromherinvisiblebook。“Iacceptthat，Katharine。Ishallneverdisputeit。Iwanttobegenerousasyou'vebeengenerous。Butbeinginlovemakesitmoredifficultforme。“
　　Theyweresilent。AtlengthWilliambrokethesilence。
　　“OnethingIbegofyouboth，hesaid，andtheoldnervousnessofmannerreturnedasheglancedatKatharine。“Wewillneverdiscussthesemattersagain。It'snotthatI'mtimidandconventional，asyouthink，Katharine。It'sthatitspoilsthingstodiscussthem；itunsettlespeople'sminds；andnowwe'reallsohappy——“
　　Cassandraratifiedthisconclusionsofarasshewasconcerned，andWilliam，afterreceivingtheexquisitepleasureofherglance，withitsabsoluteaffectionandtrust，lookedanxiouslyatKatharine。
　　“Yes，I'mhappy，“sheassuredhim。“AndIagree。Wewillnevertalkaboutitagain。“
　　“Oh，Katharine，Katharine！“Cassandracried，holdingoutherarmswhilethetearsrandownhercheeks。
　　CHAPTERXXX
　　Thedaywassodifferentfromotherdaystothreepeopleinthehousethatthecommonroutineofhouseholdlife——themaidwaitingattable，Mrs。Hilberywritingaletter，theclockstriking，andthedooropening，andalltheothersignsoflong-establishedcivilizationappearedsuddenlytohavenomeaningsaveastheylulledMr。andMrs。
　　Hilberyintothebeliefthatnothingunusualhadtakenplace。ItchancedthatMrs。Hilberywasdepressedwithoutvisiblecause，unlessacertaincrudenessverginguponcoarsenessinthetemperofherfavoriteElizabethanscouldbeheldresponsibleforthemood。Atanyrate，shehadshutup“TheDuchessofMalfi“withasigh，andwishedtoknow，soshetoldRodneyatdinner，whethertherewasn'tsomeyoungwriterwithatouchofthegreatspirit——somebodywhomadeyoubelievethatlifewasBEAUTIFUL？ShegotlittlehelpfromRodney，andaftersingingherplaintiverequiemforthedeathofpoetrybyherself，shecharmedherselfintogoodspiritsagainbyrememberingtheexistenceofMozart。ShebeggedCassandratoplaytoher，andwhentheywentupstairsCassandraopenedthepianodirectly，anddidherbesttocreateanatmosphereofunmixedbeauty。AtthesoundofthefirstnotesKatharineandRodneybothfeltanenormoussenseofreliefatthelicensewhichthemusicgavethemtoloosentheirholduponthemechanismofbehavior。Theylapsedintothedepthsofthought。Mrs。
　　Hilberywassoonspiritedawayintoaperfectlycongenialmood，thatwashalfreverieandhalfslumber，halfdeliciousmelancholyandhalfpurebliss。Mr。Hilberyaloneattended。Hewasextremelymusical，andmadeCassandraawarethathelistenedtoeverynote。Sheplayedherbest，andwonhisapproval。Leaningslightlyforwardinhischair，andturninghislittlegreenstone，heweighedtheintentionofherphrasesapprovingly，butstoppedhersuddenlytocomplainofanoisebehindhim。Thewindowwasunhasped。HesignedtoRodney，whocrossedtheroomimmediatelytoputthematterright。Hestayedamomentlongerbythewindowthanwas，perhaps，necessary，andhavingdonewhatwasneeded，drewhischairalittlecloserthanbeforetoKatharine'sside。Themusicwenton。Undercoverofsomeexquisiterunofmelody，heleanttowardsherandwhisperedsomething。Sheglancedatherfatherandmother，andamomentlaterlefttheroom，almostunobserved，withRodney。
　　“Whatisit？“sheasked，assoonasthedoorwasshut。
　　Rodneymadenoanswer，butledherdownstairsintothedining-roomonthegroundfloor。Evenwhenhehadshutthedoorhesaidnothing，butwentstraighttothewindowandpartedthecurtains。HebeckonedtoKatharine。
　　“Thereheisagain，“hesaid。“Look，there——underthelamp-post。“
　　Katharinelooked。ShehadnoideawhatRodneywastalkingabout。A
　　vaguefeelingofalarmandmysterypossessedher。Shesawamanstandingontheoppositesideoftheroadfacingthehousebeneathalamp-post。Astheylookedthefigureturned，walkedafewsteps，andcamebackagaintohisoldposition。Itseemedtoherthathewaslookingfixedlyather，andwasconsciousofhergazeonhim。Sheknew，inaflash，whothemanwaswhowaswatchingthem。Shedrewthecurtainabruptly。
　　“Denham，“saidRodney。“Hewastherelastnighttoo。“Hespokesternly。Hiswholemannerhadbecomefullofauthority。Katharinefeltalmostasifheaccusedherofsomecrime。Shewaspaleanduncomfortablyagitated，asmuchbythestrangenessofRodney'sbehaviorasbythesightofRalphDenham。
　　“Ifhechoosestocome——“shesaiddefiantly。
　　“Youcan'tlethimwaitoutthere。Ishalltellhimtocomein。“
　　RodneyspokewithsuchdecisionthatwhenheraisedhisarmKatharineexpectedhimtodrawthecurtaininstantly。Shecaughthishandwithalittleexclamation。
　　“Wait！“shecried。“Idon'tallowyou。“
　　“Youcan'twait，“hereplied。“You'vegonetoofar。“Hishandremaineduponthecurtain。“Whydon'tyouadmit，Katharine，“hebrokeout，lookingatherwithanexpressionofcontemptaswellasofanger，“thatyoulovehim？Areyougoingtotreathimasyoutreatedme？“
　　Shelookedathim，wondering，inspiteofallherperplexity，atthespiritthatpossessedhim。
　　“Iforbidyoutodrawthecurtain，“shesaid。
　　Hereflected，andthentookhishandaway。
　　“I'venorighttointerfere，“heconcluded。“I'llleaveyou。Or，ifyoulike，we'llgobacktothedrawing-room。“
　　“No。Ican'tgoback，“shesaid，shakingherhead。Shebentherheadinthought。
　　“Youlovehim，Katharine，“Rodneysaidsuddenly。Histonehadlostsomethingofitssternness，andmighthavebeenusedtourgeachildtoconfessitsfault。Sheraisedhereyesandfixedthemuponhim。
　　“Ilovehim？“sherepeated。Henodded。Shesearchedhisface，asifforfurtherconfirmationofhiswords，and，asheremainedsilentandexpectant，turnedawayoncemoreandcontinuedherthoughts。Heobservedherclosely，butwithoutstirring，asifhegavehertimetomakeuphermindtofulfilherobviousduty。ThestrainsofMozartreachedthemfromtheroomabove。