Estella,forherpart,likewisetreatedmeasbefore;exceptthatshedidnotcondescendtospeak。Whenwehadplayedsomehalfdozengames,adaywasappointedformyreturn,andIwastakendownintotheyardtobefedintheformerdog-likemanner。There,too,IwasagainlefttowanderaboutasIliked。
ItisnotmuchtothepurposewhetheragateinthatgardenwallwhichIhadscrambleduptopeepoveronthelastoccasionwas,onthatlastoccasion,openorshut。EnoughthatIsawnogatethem,andthatIsawonenow。Asitstoodopen,andasIknewthatEstellahadletthevisitorsout-for,shehadreturnedwiththekeysinherhand-Istrolledintothegardenandstrolledalloverit。Itwasquiteawilderness,andtherewereoldmelon-framesandcucumber-framesinit,whichseemedintheirdeclinetohaveproducedaspontaneousgrowthofweakattemptsatpiecesofoldhatsandboots,withnowandthenaweedyoffshootintothelikenessofabatteredsaucepan。
WhenIhadexhaustedthegarden,andagreenhousewithnothinginitbutafallen-downgrape-vineandsomebottles,IfoundmyselfinthedismalcorneruponwhichIhadlookedoutofwindow。Neverquestioningforamomentthatthehousewasnowempty,Ilookedinatanotherwindow,andfoundmyself,tomygreatsurprise,exchangingabroadstarewithapaleyounggentlemanwithredeyelidsandlighthair。
Thispaleyounggentlemanquicklydisappeared,andre-appearedbesideme。HehadbeenathisbookswhenIhadfoundmyselfstaringathim,andInowsawthathewasinky。
`Halloa!'saidhe,`youngfellow!'
HalloabeingageneralobservationwhichIhadusuallyobservedtobebestansweredbyitself,Isaid,`Halloa!'politelyomittingyoungfellow。
`Wholetyouin?'saidhe。
`MissEstella。'
`Whogaveyouleavetoprowlabout?'
`MissEstella。'
`Comeandfight,'saidthepaleyounggentleman。
WhatcouldIdobutfollowhim?Ihaveoftenaskedmyselfthequestionsince:but,whatelsecouldIdo?HismannerwassofinalandIwassoastonished,thatIfollowedwhereheled,asifIhadbeenunderaspell。
`Stopaminute,though,'hesaid,wheelingroundbeforewehadgonemanypaces。`Ioughttogiveyouareasonforfighting,too。Thereitis!'
Inamostirritatingmannerheinstantlyslappedhishandsagainstoneanother,daintilyflungoneofhislegsupbehindhim,pulledmyhair,slappedhishandsagain,dippedhishead,andbutteditintomystomach。
Thebull-likeproceedinglastmentioned,besidesthatitwasunquestionablytoberegardedinthelightofaliberty,wasparticularlydisagreeablejustafterbreadandmeat。Ithereforehitoutathimandwasgoingtohitoutagain,whenhesaid,`Aha!Wouldyou?'andbegandancingbackwardsandforwardsinamannerquiteunparalleledwithinmylimitedexperience。
`Lawsofthegame!'saidhe。Here,heskippedfromhisleftlegontohisright。`Regularrules!'Here,heskippedfromhisrightlegontohisleft。`Cometotheground,andgothroughthepreliminaries!'Here,hedodgedbackwardsandforwards,anddidallsortsofthingswhileIlookedhelplesslyathim。
IwassecretlyafraidofhimwhenIsawhimsodexterous;but,Ifeltmorallyandphysicallyconvincedthathislightheadofhaircouldhavehadnobusinessinthepitofmystomach,andthatIhadarighttoconsideritirrelevantwhensoobtrudedonmyattention。Therefore,Ifollowedhimwithoutaword,toaretirednookofthegarden,formedbythejunctionoftwowallsandscreenedbysomerubbish。OnhisaskingmeifIwassatisfiedwiththeground,andonmyreplyingYes,hebeggedmyleavetoabsenthimselfforamoment,andquicklyreturnedwithabottleofwaterandaspongedippedinvinegar。`Availableforboth,'hesaid,placingtheseagainstthewall。Andthenfelltopullingoff,notonlyhisjacketandwaistcoat,buthisshirttoo,inamanneratoncelight-hearted,businesslike,andbloodthirsty。
Althoughhedidnotlookveryhealthy-havingpimplesonhisface,andabreakingoutathismouth-thesedreadfulpreparationsquiteappalledme。Ijudgedhimtobeaboutmyownage,buthewasmuchtaller,andhehadawayofspinninghimselfaboutthatwasfullofappearance。Fortherest,hewasayounggentlemaninagreysuitwhennotdenudedforbattle,withhiselbows,knees,wrists,andheels,considerablyinadvanceoftherestofhimastodevelopment。
MyheartfailedmewhenIsawhimsquaringatmewitheverydemonstrationofmechanicalnicety,andeyeingmyanatomyasifhewereminutelychoosinghisbone。Ineverhavebeensosurprisedinmylife,asIwaswhenIletoutthefirstblow,andsawhimlyingonhisback,lookingupatmewithabloodynoseandhisfaceexceedinglyfore-shortened。
But,hewasonhisfeetdirectly,andaftersponginghimselfwithagreatshowofdexteritybegansquaringagain。ThesecondgreatestsurpriseIhaveeverhadinmylifewasseeinghimonhisbackagain,lookingupatmeoutofablackeye。
Hisspiritinspiredmewithgreatrespect。Heseemedtohavenostrength,andheneveroncehitmehard,andhewasalwaysknockeddown;but,hewouldbeupagaininamoment,sponginghimselfordrinkingoutofthewater-bottle,withthegreatestsatisfactioninsecondinghimselfaccordingtoform,andthencameatmewithanairandashowthatmademebelievehereallywasgoingtodoformeatlast。Hegotheavilybruised,forI
amsorrytorecordthatthemoreIhithim,theharderIhithim;but,hecameupagainandagainandagain,untilatlasthegotabadfallwiththebackofhisheadagainstthewall。Evenafterthatcrisisinouraffairs,hegotupandturnedroundandroundconfusedlyafewtimes,notknowingwhereIwas;butfinallywentonhiskneestohisspongeandthrewitup:
atthesametimepantingout,`Thatmeansyouhavewon。'
Heseemedtobraveandinnocent,thatalthoughIhadnotproposedthecontestIfeltbutagloomysatisfactioninmyvictory。Indeed,IgosofarastohopethatIregardedmyselfwhiledressing,asaspeciesofsavageyoungwolf,orotherwildbeast。However,Igotdressed,darklywipingmysanguinaryfaceatintervals,andIsaid,`CanIhelpyou?'andhesaid`Nothankee,'andIsaid`Goodafternoon,'andhesaid`Sametoyou。'
WhenIgotintothecourt-yard,IfoundEstellawaitingwiththekeys。
But,sheneitheraskedmewhereIhadbeen,norwhyIhadkeptherwaiting;
andtherewasabrightflushuponherface,asthoughsomethinghadhappenedtodelighther。Insteadofgoingstraighttothegate,too,shesteppedbackintothepassage,andbeckonedme。
`Comehere!Youmaykissme,ifyoulike。'
Ikissedhercheekassheturnedittome。IthinkIwouldhavegonethroughagreatdealtokisshercheek。But,Ifeltthatthekisswasgiventothecoarsecommonboyasapieceofmoneymighthavebeen,andthatitwasworthnothing。
Whatwiththebirthdayvisitors,andwhatwiththecards,andwhatwiththefight,mystayhadlastedsolong,thatwhenInearedhomethelightonthespitofsandoffthepointonthemarsheswasgleamingagainstablacknight-sky,andJoe'sfurnacewasflingingapathoffireacrosstheroad。
Chapter12
MYmindgrewveryuneasyonthesubjectofthepaleyounggentleman。
ThemoreIthoughtofthefight,andrecalledthepaleyounggentlemanonhisbackinvariousstagesofpuffyandincrimsonedcountenance,themorecertainitappearedthatsomethingwouldbedonetome。Ifeltthatthepaleyounggentleman'sbloodwasonmyhead,andthattheLawwouldavengeit。WithouthavinganydefiniteideaofthepenaltiesIhadincurred,itwascleartomethatvillageboyscouldnotgostalkingaboutthecountry,ravagingthehousesofgentlefolksandpitchingintothestudiousyouthofEngland,withoutlayingthemselvesopentoseverepunishment。Forsomedays,Ievenkeptcloseathome,andlookedoutatthekitchendoorwiththegreatestcautionandtrepidationbeforegoingonanerrand,lesttheofficersoftheCountyJailshouldpounceuponme。Thepaleyounggentleman'snosehadstainedmytrousers,andItriedtowashoutthatevidenceofmyguiltinthedeadofnight。Ihadcutmyknucklesagainstthepaleyounggentleman'steeth,andItwistedmyimaginationintoathousandtangles,asIdevisedincrediblewaysofaccountingforthatdamnatorycircumstancewhenIshouldbehaledbeforetheJudges。
Whenthedaycameroundformyreturntothesceneofthedeedofviolence,myterrorsreachedtheirheight。WhethermyrmidonsofJustice,speciallysentdownfromLondon,wouldbelyinginambushbehindthegate?WhetherMissHavisham,preferringtotakepersonalvengeanceforanoutragedonetoherhouse,mightriseinthosegrave-clothesofhers,drawapistol,andshootmedead?Whethersubornedboys-anumerousbandofmercenaries-mightbeengagedtofalluponmeinthebrewery,andcuffmeuntilI
wasnomore?Itwashightestimonytomyconfidenceinthespiritofthepaleyounggentleman,thatIneverimaginedhimaccessorytotheseretaliations;theyalwayscameintomymindastheactsofinjudiciousrelativesofhis,goadedonbythestateofhisvisageandanindignantsympathywiththefamilyfeatures。
However,gotoMissHavisham'sImust,andgoIdid。Andbehold!nothingcameofthelatestruggle。Itwasnotalludedtoinanyway,andnopaleyounggentlemanwastobediscoveredonthepremises。Ifoundthesamegateopen,andIexploredthegarden,andevenlookedinatthewindowsofthedetachedhouse;but,myviewwassuddenlystoppedbytheclosedshutterswithin,andallwaslifeless。Onlyinthecornerwherethecombathadtakenplace,couldIdetectanyevidenceoftheyounggentleman'sexistence。
Thereweretracesofhisgoreinthatspot,andIcoveredthemwithgarden-mouldfromtheeyeofman。
OnthebroadlandingbetweenMissHavisham'sownroomandthatotherroominwhichthelongtablewaslaidout,Isawagarden-chair-alightchaironwheels,thatyoupushedfrombehind。Ithadbeenplacedtheresincemylastvisit,andIentered,thatsameday,onaregularoccupationofpushingMissHavishaminthischairwhenshewastiredofwalkingwithherhanduponmyshoulderroundherownroom,andacrossthelanding,androundtheotherroom。Overandoverandoveragain,wewouldmakethesejourneys,andsometimestheywouldlastaslongasthreehoursatastretch。
Iinsensiblyfallintoageneralmentionofthesejourneysasnumerous,becauseitwasatoncesettledthatIshouldreturneveryalternatedayatnoonforthesepurposes,andbecauseIamnowgoingtosumupaperiodofatleasteightortenmonths。
Aswebegantobemoreusedtooneanother,MissHavishamtalkedmoretome,andaskedmesuchquestionsaswhathadIlearntandwhatwasI
goingtobe?ItoldherIwasgoingtobeapprenticedtoJoe,Ibelieved;
andIenlargeduponmyknowingnothingandwantingtoknoweverything,inthehopethatshemightoffersomehelptowardsthatdesirableend。
But,shedidnot;onthecontrary,sheseemedtoprefermybeingignorant。
Neitherdidsheevergivemeanymoney-oranythingbutmydailydinner-norevenstipulatethatIshouldbepaidformyservices。
Estellawasalwaysabout,andalwaysletmeinandout,butnevertoldmeImightkissheragain。Sometimes,shewouldcoldlytolerateme;sometimes,shewouldcondescendtome;sometimes,shewouldbequitefamiliarwithme;sometimes,shewouldtellmeenergeticallythatshehatedme。MissHavishamwouldoftenaskmeinawhisper,orwhenwewerealone,`Doesshegrowprettierandprettier,Pip?'AndwhenIsaidyesforindeedshedid,wouldseemtoenjoyitgreedily。Also,whenweplayedatcardsMissHavishamwouldlookon,withamiserlyrelishofEstella'smoods,whatevertheywere。Andsometimes,whenhermoodsweresomanyandsocontradictoryofoneanotherthatIwaspuzzledwhattosayordo,MissHavishamwouldembraceherwithlavishfondness,murmuringsomethinginherearthatsoundedlike`Breaktheirheartsmyprideandhope,breaktheirheartsandhavenomercy!'
TherewasasongJoeusedtohumfragmentsofattheforge,ofwhichtheburdenwasOldClem。Thiswasnotaveryceremoniouswayofrenderinghomagetoapatronsaint;but,IbelieveOldClemstoodinthatrelationtowardssmiths。Itwasasongthatimitatedthemeasureofbeatinguponiron,andwasamerelyricalexcusefortheintroductionofOldClem'srespectedname。Thus,youweretohammerboysround-OldClem!Withathumpandasound-OldClem!Beatitout,beatitout-OldClem!Withaclinkforthestout-OldClem!Blowthefire,blowthefire-OldClem!
Roaringdryer,soaringhigher-OldClem!Onedaysoonaftertheappearanceofthechair,MissHavishamsuddenlysayingtome,withtheimpatientmovementofherfingers,`There,there,there!Sing!'IwassurprisedintocrooningthisdittyasIpushedheroverthefloor。Ithappenedsotocatchherfancy,thatshetookitupinalowbroodingvoiceasifsheweresinginginhersleep。Afterthat,itbecamecustomarywithustohaveitaswemovedabout,andEstellawouldoftenjoinin;thoughthewholestrainwassosubdued,evenwhentherewerethreeofus,thatitmadelessnoiseinthegrimoldhousethanthelightestbreathofwind。
WhatcouldIbecomewiththesesurroundings?Howcouldmycharacterfailtobeinfluencedbythem?Isittobewonderedatifmythoughtsweredazed,asmyeyeswere,whenIcameoutintothenaturallightfromthemistyyellowrooms?
Perhaps,ImighthavetoldJoeaboutthepaleyounggentleman,ifI
hadnotpreviouslybeenbetrayedintothoseenormousinventionstowhichIhadconfessed。Underthecircumstances,IfeltthatJoecouldhardlyfailtodiscerninthepaleyounggentleman,anappropriatepassengertobeputintotheblackvelvetcoach;therefore,Isaidnothingofhim。Besides:
thatshrinkingfromhavingMissHavishamandEstelladiscussed,whichhadcomeuponmeinthebeginning,grewmuchmorepotentastimewenton。I
reposedcompleteconfidenceinnoonebutBiddy;but,ItoldpoorBiddyeverything。Whyitcamenaturaltometodoso,andwhyBiddyhadadeepconcernineverythingItoldher,Ididnotknowthen,thoughIthinkI
knownow。
Meanwhile,councilswentoninthekitchenathome,fraughtwithalmostinsupportableaggravationtomyexasperatedspirit。Thatass,Pumblechook,usedoftentocomeoveranightforthepurposeofdiscussingmyprospectswithmysister;andIreallydobelievetothishourwithlesspenitencethanIoughttofeel,thatifthesehandscouldhavetakenalinchpinoutofhischaise-cart,theywouldhavedoneit。Themiserablemanwasamanofthatconfinedstolidityofmind,thathecouldnotdiscussmyprospectswithouthavingmebeforehim-asitwere,tooperateupon-
andhewoulddragmeupfrommystoolusuallybythecollarwhereIwasquietinacorner,and,puttingmebeforethefireasifIweregoingtobecooked,wouldbeginbysaying,`Now,Mum,hereisthisboy!Hereisthisboywhichyoubroughtupbyhand。Holdupyourhead,boy,andbeforevergratefuluntothemwhichsodiddo。Now,Mum,withrespectionstothisboy!'Andthenhewouldrumplemyhairthewrongway-whichfrommyearliestremembrance,asalreadyhinted,Ihaveinmysouldeniedtherightofanyfellow-creaturetodo-andwouldholdmebeforehimbythesleeve:aspectacleofimbecilityonlytobeequalledbyhimself。
Then,heandmysisterwouldpairoffinsuchnonsensicalspeculationsaboutMissHavisham,andaboutwhatshewoulddowithmeandforme,thatIusedtowant-quitepainfully-toburstintospitefultears,flyatPumblechook,andpummelhimallover。Inthesedialogues,mysisterspoketomeasifsheweremorallywrenchingoneofmyteethoutateveryreference;
whilePumblechookhimself,self-constitutedmypatron,wouldsitsupervisingmewithadepreciatoryeye,likethearchitectofmyfortuneswhothoughthimselfengagedonaveryunremunerativejob。
Inthesediscussions,Joeborenopart。Buthewasoftentalkedat,whiletheywereinprogress,byreasonofMrsJoe'sperceivingthathewasnotfavourabletomybeingtakenfromtheforge。Iwasfullyoldenoughnow,tobeapprenticedtoJoe;andwhenJoesatwiththepokeronhiskneesthoughtfullyrakingouttheashesbetweenthelowerbars,mysisterwouldsodistinctlyconstruethatinnocentactionintooppositiononhispart,thatshewoulddiveathim,takethepokeroutofhishands,shakehim,andputitaway。Therewasamostirritatingendtoeveryoneofthesedebates。Allinamoment,withnothingtoleaduptoit,mysisterwouldstopherselfinayawn,andcatchingsightofmeasitwereincidentally,wouldswoopuponmewith,`Come!there'senoughofyou!Yougetalongtobed;you'vegiventroubleenoughforonenight,Ihope!'
AsifIhadbesoughtthemasafavourtobothermylifeout。
Wewentoninthiswayforalongtime,anditseemedlikelythatweshouldcontinuetogooninthiswayforalongtime,when,oneday,MissHavishamstoppedshortassheandIwerewalking,sheleaningonmyshoulder;
andsaidwithsomedispleasure:
`Youaregrowingtall,Pip!'
Ithoughtitbesttohint,throughthemediumofameditativelook,thatthismightbeoccasionedbycircumstancesoverwhichIhadnocontrol。
Shesaidnomoreatthetime;but,shepresentlystoppedandlookedatmeagain;andpresentlyagain;andafterthat,lookedfrowningandmoody。
Onthenextdayofmyattendancewhenourusualexercisewasover,andIhadlandedheratherdressingtable,shestayedmewithamovementofherimpatientfingers:
`Tellmethenameagainofthatblacksmithofyours。'
`JoeGargery,ma'am。'
`Meaningthemasteryouweretobeapprenticedto?'
`Yes,MissHavisham。'
`Youhadbetterbeapprenticedatonce。WouldGargerycomeherewithyou,andbringyourindentures,doyouthink?'
IsignifiedthatIhadnodoubthewouldtakeitasanhonourtobeasked。
`Thenlethimcome。'
`Atanyparticulartime,MissHavisham?'
`There,there!Iknownothingabouttimes。Lethimcomesoon,andcomealonewithyou。'
WhenIgothomeatnight,anddeliveredthismessageforJoe,mysister`wentontheRampage,'inamorealarmingdegreethanatanypreviousperiod。
SheaskedmeandJoewhetherwesupposedshewasdoor-matsunderourfeet,andhowwedaredtouseherso,andwhatcompanywegraciouslythoughtshewasfitfor?Whenshehadexhaustedatorrentofsuchinquiries,shethrewacandlestickatJoe,burstintoaloudsobbing,gotoutthedustpan-whichwasalwaysaverybadsign-putonhercoarseapron,andbegancleaninguptoaterribleextent。Notsatisfiedwithadrycleaning,shetooktoapailandscrubbing-brush,andcleanedusoutofhouseandhome,sothatwestoodshiveringintheback-yard。Itwasteno'clockatnightbeforeweventuredtocreepinagain,andthensheaskedJoewhyhehadn'tmarriedaNegressSlaveatonce?Joeofferednoanswer,poorfellow,butstoodfeelinghiswhiskerandlookingdejectedlyatme,asifhethoughtitreallymighthavebeenabetterspeculation。
Chapter13
ITwasatrialtomyfeelings,onthenextdaybutone,toseeJoearrayinghimselfinhisSundayclothestoaccompanymetoMissHavisham's。
However,ashethoughthiscourt-suitnecessarytotheoccasion,itwasnotformetellhimthathelookedfarbetterinhisworkingdress;therather,becauseIknewhemadehimselfsodreadfullyuncomfortable,entirelyonmyaccount,andthatitwasformehepulleduphisshirt-collarsoveryhighbehind,thatitmadethehaironthecrownofhisheadstanduplikeatuftoffeathers。
Atbreakfasttimemysisterdeclaredherintentionofgoingtotownwithus,andbeingleftatUnclePumblechook'sandcalledfor`whenwehaddonewithourfineladies'-awayofputtingthecase,fromwhichJoeappearedinclinedtoaugurtheworst。Theforgewasshutupfortheday,andJoeinscribedinchalkuponthedoorasitwashiscustomtodoontheveryrareoccasionswhenhewasnotatworkthemonosyllableHOUT,accompaniedbyasketchofanarrowsupposedtobeflyinginthedirectionhehadtaken。
Wewalkedtotown,mysisterleadingthewayinaverylargebeaverbonnet,andcarryingabasketliketheGreatSealofEnglandinplaitedstraw,apairofpattens,aspareshawl,andanumbrella,thoughitwasafinebrightday。Iamnotquiteclearwhetherthesearticleswerecarriedpenitentiallyorostentatiously;but,Iratherthinktheyweredisplayedasarticlesofproperty-muchasCleopatraoranyothersovereignladyontheRampagemightexhibitherwealthinapageantorprocession。
WhenwecametoPumblechook's,mysisterbouncedinandleftus。Asitwasalmostnoon,JoeandIheldstraightontoMissHavisham'shouse。
Estellaopenedthegateasusual,and,themomentsheappeared,Joetookhishatoffandstoodweighingitbythebriminbothhishands:asifhehadsomeurgentreasoninhismindforbeingparticulartohalfaquarterofanounce。
Estellatooknonoticeofeitherofus,butledusthewaythatIknewsowell。Ifollowednexttoher,andJoecamelast。WhenIlookedbackatJoeinthelongpassage,hewasstillweighinghishatwiththegreatestcare,andwascomingafterusinlongstridesonthetipsofhistoes。
Estellatoldmewewerebothtogoin,soItookJoebythecoat-cuffandconductedhimintoMissHavisham'spresence。Shewasseatedatherdressing-table,andlookedroundatusimmediately。
`Oh!'saidshetoJoe。`Youarethehusbandofthesisterofthisboy?'
IcouldhardlyhaveimagineddearoldJoelookingsounlikehimselforsolikesomeextraordinarybird;standing,ashedid,speechless,withhistuftoffeathersruffled,andhismouthopen,asifhewantedaworm。
`Youarethehusband,'repeatedMissHavisham,`ofthesisterofthisboy?'
Itwasveryaggravating;but,throughouttheinterviewJoepersistedinaddressingMeinsteadofMissHavisham。
`WhichImeantersay,Pip,'Joenowobservedinamannerthatwasatonceexpressiveofforcibleargumentation,strictconfidence,andgreatpoliteness,`asIhupandmarriedyoursister,andIwereatthetimewhatyoumightcallifyouwasanywaysinclinedasingleman。'
`Well!'saidMissHavisham。`Andyouhaverearedtheboy,withtheintentionoftakinghimforyourapprentice;isthatso,MrGargery?'
`Youknow,Pip,'repliedJoe,`asyouandmewereeverfriends,anditwerelookedfor'ardtobetwixtus,asbeingcalc'latedtoleadtolarks。
Notbutwhat,Pip,ifyouhadevermadeobjectionstothebusiness-suchasitsbeingopentoblackandsut,orsuch-like-notbutwhattheywouldhavebeenattendedto,don'tyousee?'
`Hastheboy,'saidMissHavisham,`evermadeanyobjection?Doeshelikethetrade?'
`Whichitiswellbeknowntoyourself,Pip,'returnedJoe,strengtheninghisformermixtureofargumentation,confidence,andpoliteness,`thatitwerethewishofyourownhart。'Isawtheideasuddenlybreakuponhimthathewouldadapthisepitaphtotheoccasion,beforehewentontosay`Andthereweren'tnoobjectiononyourpart,andPipitwerethegreatwishofyourhart!'
ItwasquiteinvainformetoendeavourtomakehimsensiblethatheoughttospeaktoMissHavisham。ThemoreImadefacesandgesturestohimtodoit,themoreconfidential,argumentative,andpolite,hepersistedinbeingtoMe。
`Haveyoubroughthisindentureswithyou?'askedMissHavisham。
`Well,Pip,youknow,'repliedJoe,asifthatwerealittleunreasonable,`youyourselfseemeput'eminmy'at,andthereforeyouknowastheyarehere。'Withwhichhetookthemout,andgavethem,nottoMissHavisham,buttome。IamafraidIwasashamedofthedeargoodfellow-IknowIwasashamedofhim-whenIsawthatEstellastoodatthebackofMissHavisham'schair,andthathereyeslaughedmischievously。ItooktheindenturesoutofhishandandgavethemtoMissHavisham。
`Youexpected,'saidMissHavisham,asshelookedthemover,`nopremiumwiththeboy?'
`Joe!'Iremonstrated;forhemadenoreplyatall。`Whydon'tyouanswer——'
`Pip,'returnedJoe,cuttingmeshortasifhewerehurt,`whichImeantersaythatwerenotaquestionrequiringaanswerbetwixtyourselfandme,andwhichyouknowtheanswertobefullwellNo。YouknowittobeNo,Pip,andwhereforeshouldIsayit?'
MissHavishamglancedathimasifsheunderstoodwhathereallywas,betterthanIhadthoughtpossible,seeingwhathewasthere;andtookupalittlebagfromthetablebesideher。
`Piphasearnedapremiumhere,'shesaid,`andhereitis。Therearefive-and-twentyguineasinthisbag。Giveittoyourmaster,Pip。'
Asifhewereabsolutelyoutofhismindwiththewonderawakenedinhimbyherstrangefigureandthestrangeroom,Joe,evenatthispass,persistedinaddressingme。
`Thisisweryliberalonyourpart,Pip,'saidJoe,`anditisassuchreceivedandgratefulwelcome,thoughneverlookedfor,farnornearnornowheres。Andnow,oldchap,'saidJoe,conveyingtomeasensation,firstofburningandthenoffreezing,forIfeltasifthatfamiliarexpressionwereappliedtoMissHavisham;`andnow,oldchap,maywedoourduty!
Mayyouandmedoourduty,bothonusbyoneandanother,andbythemwhichyourliberalpresent-have-conweyed-tobe-forthesatisfactionofmind-of-themasnever——'hereJoeshowedthathefelthehadfallenintofrightfuldifficulties,untilhetriumphantlyrescuedhimselfwiththewords,`andfrommyselffarbeit!'Thesewordshadsucharoundandconvincingsoundforhimthathesaidthemtwice。
`Good-bye,Pip!'saidMissHavisham。`Letthemout,Estella。'
`AmItocomeagain,MissHavisham?'Iasked。
`No。Gargeryisyourmasternow。Gargery!Oneword!'
ThuscallinghimbackasIwentoutofthedoor,IheardhersaytoJoe,inadistinctemphaticvoice,`Theboyhasbeenagoodboyhere,andthatishisreward。Ofcourse,asanhonestman,youwillexpectnootherandnomore。'
HowJoegotoutoftheroom,Ihaveneverbeenabletodetermine;but,Iknowthatwhenhedidgetouthewassteadilyproceedingup-stairsinsteadofcomingdown,andwasdeaftoallremonstrancesuntilIwentafterhimandlaidholdofhim。Inanotherminutewewereoutsidethegate,anditwaslocked,andEstellawasgone。
Whenwestoodinthedaylightaloneagain,Joebackedupagainstawall,andsaidtome,`Astonishing!'Andthereheremainedsolong,saying`Astonishing'
atintervals,sooften,thatIbegantothinkhissenseswerenevercomingback。Atlengthheprolongedhisremarkinto`Pip,Idoassureyouthisisas-TONishing!'andso,bydegrees,becameconversationalandabletowalkaway。
IhavereasontothinkthatJoe'sintellectswerebrightenedbytheencountertheyhadpassedthrough,andthatonourwaytoPumblechook'sheinventedasubtleanddeepdesign。MyreasonistobefoundinwhattookplaceinMrPumblechook'sparlour:where,onourpresentingourselves,mysistersatinconferencewiththatdetestedseedsman。
`Well?'criedmysister,addressingusbothatonce。`Andwhat'shappenedtoyou?Iwonderyoucondescendtocomebacktosuchpoorsocietyasthis,IamsureIdo!'
`MissHavisham,'saidJoe,withafixedlookatme,likeaneffortofremembrance,`madeitwerypartick'lerthatweshouldgiveher-wereitcomplimentsorrespects,Pip?'
`Compliments,'Isaid。
`Whichthatweremyownbelief,'answeredJoe-`hercomplimentstoMrsJ。Gargery——'
`Muchgoodthey'lldome!'observedmysister;butrathergratifiedtoo。
`Andwishing,'pursuedJoe,withanotherfixedlookatme,likeanotherefforttoremembrance,`thatthestateofMissHavisham'selthweresitchaswouldhave-allowed,wereit,Pip?'
`Ofherhavingthepleasure,'Iadded。
`Ofladies'company,'saidJoe。Anddrewalongbreath。
`Well!'criedmysister,withamollifiedglanceatMrPumblechook。
`Shemighthavehadthepolitenesstosendthatmessageatfirst,butit'sbetterlatethannever。AndwhatdidshegiveyoungRantipolehere?'
`Shegiv'him,'saidJoe,`nothing。'
MrsJoewasgoingtobreakout,butJoewenton。
`Whatshegiv','saidJoe,`shegiv'tohisfriends。"Andbyhisfriends,"
wereherexplanation,"ImeanintothehandsofhissisterMrsJ。Gargery。"
Themwereherwords;"MrsJ。Gargery。"Shemayn'thaveknow'd,'addedJoe,withanappearanceofreflection,`whetheritwereJoe,orJorge。'
MysisterlookedatPumblechook:whosmoothedtheelbowsofhiswoodenarmchair,andnoddedatherandatthefire,asifhehadknownallaboutitbeforehand。
`Andhowmuchhaveyougot?'askedmysister,laughing。Positively,laughing!
`Whatwouldpresentcompanysaytotenpound?'demandedJoe。
`They'dsay,'returnedmysister,curtly,`prettywell。Nottoomuch,butprettywell。'
`It'smorethanthat,then,'saidJoe。
ThatfearfulImpostor,Pumblechook,immediatelynodded,andsaid,asherubbedthearmsofhischair:`It'smorethanthat,Mum。'
`Why,youdon'tmeantosay——'beganmysister。
`YesIdo,Mum,'saidPumblechook;`butwaitabit。Goon,Joseph。Goodinyou!Goon!'
`Whatwouldpresentcompanysay,'proceededJoe,`totwentypound?'
`Handsomewouldbetheword,'returnedmysister。
`Well,then,'saidJoe,`It'smorethantwentypound。'
Thatabjecthypocrite,Pumblechook,noddedagain,andsaid,withapatronizinglaugh,`It'smorethanthat,Mum。Goodagain!Followherup,Joseph!'
`Thentomakeanendofit,'saidJoe,delightedlyhandingthebagtomysister;`it'sfive-and-twentypound。'
`It'sfive-and-twentypound,Mum,'echoedthatbasestofswindlers,Pumblechook,risingtoshakehandswithher;`andit'snomorethanyourmeritsasIsaidwhenmyopinionwasasked,andIwishyoujoyofthemoney!'
Ifthevillainhadstoppedhere,hiscasewouldhavebeensufficientlyawful,butheblackenedhisguiltbyproceedingtotakemeintocustody,witharightofpatronagethatleftallhisformercriminalityfarbehind。
`Nowyousee,Josephandwife,'saidPumblechook,ashetookmebythearmabovetheelbow,`Iamoneofthemthatalwaysgorightthroughwithwhatthey'vebegun。Thisboymustbebound,outofhand。That'smyway。Boundoutofhand。'
`Goodnessknows,UnclePumblechook,'saidmysistergraspingthemoney,`we'redeeplybeholdentoyou。'
`Nevermindme,Mum,returnedthatdiabolicalcorn-chandler。`Apleasure'sapleasure,alltheworldover。Butthisboy,youknow;wemusthavehimbound。IsaidI'dseetoit-totellyouthetruth。'
TheJusticesweresittingintheTownHallnearathand,andweatoncewentovertohavemeboundapprenticetoJoeintheMagisterialpresence。
Isay,wewentover,butIwaspushedoverbyPumblechook,exactlyasifIhadthatmomentpickedapocketorfiredarick;indeed,itwasthegeneralimpressioninCourtthatIhadbeentakenred-handed,for,asPumblechookshovedmebeforehimthroughthecrowd,Iheardsomepeoplesay,`What'shedone?'andothers,`He'sayoung'un,too,butlooksbad,don'the?
Onepersonofmildandbenevolentaspectevengavemeatractornamentedwithawoodcutofamalevolentyoungmanfittedupwithaperfectsausage-shopoffetters,andentitled,TOBEREADINMYCELL。
TheHallwasaqueerplace,Ithought,withhigherpewsinitthanachurch-andwithpeoplehangingoverthepewslookingon-andwithmightyJusticesonewithapowderedheadleaningbackinchairs,withfoldedarms,ortakingsnuff,orgoingtosleep,orwriting,orreadingthenewspapers-andwithsomeshiningblackportraitsonthewalls,whichmyunartisticeyeregardedasacompositionofhardbakeandsticking-plaister。Here,inacorner,myindenturesweredulysignedandattested,andIwas`bound;'
MrPumblechookholdingmeallthewhileasifwehadlookedinonourwaytothescaffold,tohavethoselittlepreliminariesdisposedof。
Whenwehadcomeoutagain,andhadgotridoftheboyswhohadbeenputintogreatspiritsbytheexpectationofseeingmepubliclytortured,andwhoweremuchdisappointedtofindthatmyfriendsweremerelyrallyingroundme,wewentbacktoPumblechook's。Andtheremysisterbecamesoexcitedbythetwenty-fiveguineas,thatnothingwouldserveherbutwemusthaveadinneroutofthatwindfall,attheBlueBoar,andthatPumblechookmustgooverinhischaise-cart,andbringtheHubblesandMrWopsle。
Itwasagreedtobedone;andamostmelancholydayIpassed。For,itinscrutablyappearedtostandtoreason,inthemindsofthewholecompany,thatIwasanexcrescenceontheentertainment。Andtomakeitworse,theyallaskedmefromtimetotime-inshort,whenevertheyhadnothingelsetodo-whyIdidn'tenjoymyself。AndwhatcouldIpossiblydothen,butsayIwasenjoyingmyself-whenIwasn't?
However,theyweregrownupandhadtheirownway,andtheymadethemostofit。ThatswindlingPumblechook,exaltedintothebeneficentcontriverofthewholeoccasion,actuallytookthetopofthetable;and,whenheaddressedthemonthesubjectofmybeingbound,andhadfiendishlycongratulatedthemonmybeingliabletoimprisonmentifIplayedatcards,drankstrongliquors,keptlatehoursorbadcompany,orindulgedinothervagarieswhichtheformofmyindenturesappearedtocontemplateasnexttoinevitable,heplacedmestandingonachairbesidehim,toillustratehisremarks。
Myonlyotherremembrancesofthegreatfestivalare,Thattheywouldn'tletmegotosleep,butwhenevertheysawmedroppingoff,wokemeupandtoldmetoenjoymyself。That,ratherlateintheeveningMrWopslegaveusCollins'sode,andthrewhisbloodstain'dswordinthunderdown,withsucheffect,thatawaitercameinandsaid,`TheCommercialsunderneathsentuptheircompliments,anditwasn'ttheTumblers'Arms。'That,theywereallinexcellentspiritsontheroadhome,andsangOLadyFair!MrWopsletakingthebass,andassertingwithatremendouslystrongvoiceinreplytotheinquisitiveborewholeadsthatpieceofmusicinamostimpertinentmanner,bywantingtoknowallabouteverybody'sprivateaffairs
thathewasthemanwithhiswhitelocksflowing,andthathewasuponthewholetheweakestpilgrimgoing。
Finally,IrememberthatwhenIgotintomylittlebedroomIwastrulywretched,andhadastrongconvictiononmethatIshouldneverlikeJoe'strade。Ihadlikeditonce,butoncewasnotnow。
Chapter14
ITisamostmiserablethingtofeelashamedofhome。Theremaybeblackingratitudeinthething,andthepunishmentmayberetributiveandwelldeserved;but,thatitisamiserablething,Icantestify。
Homehadneverbeenaverypleasantplacetome,becauseofmysister'stemper。But,Joehadsanctifiedit,andIhadbelievedinit。Ihadbelievedinthebestparlourasamostelegantsaloon;Ihadbelievedinthefrontdoor,asamysteriousportaloftheTempleofStatewhosesolemnopeningwasattendedwithasacrificeofroastfowls;Ihadbelievedinthekitchenasachastethoughnotmagnificentapartment;Ihadbelievedintheforgeastheglowingroadtomanhoodandindependence。Withinasingleyear,allthiswaschanged。Now,itwasallcoarseandcommon,andIwouldnothavehadMissHavishamandEstellaseeitonanyaccount。
Howmuchofmyungraciousconditionofmindmayhavebeenmyownfault,howmuchMissHavisham's,howmuchmysister's,isnowofnomomenttomeortoanyone。Thechangewasmadeinme;thethingwasdone。Wellorilldone,excusablyorinexcusably,itwasdone。
Once,ithadseemedtomethatwhenIshouldatlastrollupmyshirt-sleevesandgointotheforge,Joe's'prentice,Ishouldbedistinguishedandhappy。
Nowtherealitywasinmyhold,IonlyfeltthatIwasdustywiththedustofsmallcoal,andthatIhadaweightuponmydailyremembrancetowhichtheanvilwasafeather。TherehavebeenoccasionsinmylaterlifeI
supposeasinmostliveswhenIhavefeltforatimeasifathickcurtainhadfallenonallitsinterestandromance,toshutmeoutfromanythingsavedullenduranceanymore。Neverhasthatcurtaindroppedsoheavyandblank,aswhenmywayinlifelaystretchedoutstraightbeforemethroughthenewly-enteredroadofapprenticeshiptoJoe。
Irememberthatatalaterperiodofmy`time,'IusedtostandaboutthechurchyardonSundayeveningswhennightwasfalling,comparingmyownperspectivewiththewindymarshview,andmakingoutsomelikenessbetweenthembythinkinghowflatandlowbothwere,andhowonboththerecameanunknownwayandadarkmistandthenthesea。Iwasquiteasdejectedonthefirstworking-dayofmyapprenticeshipasinthatafter-time;butIamgladtoknowthatIneverbreathedamurmurtoJoewhilemyindentureslasted。ItisabouttheonlythingIamgladtoknowofmyselfinthatconnection。
For,thoughitincludeswhatIproceedtoadd,allthemeritofwhatIproceedtoaddwasJoe's。ItwasnotbecauseIwasfaithful,butbecauseJoewasfaithful,thatIneverranawayandwentforasoldierorasailor。
ItwasnotbecauseIhadastrongsenseofthevirtueofindustry,butbecauseJoehadastrongsenseofthevirtueofindustry,thatIworkedwithtolerablezealagainstthegrain。Itisnotpossibletoknowhowfartheinfluenceofanyamiablehonest-heartedduty-doingmanfliesoutintotheworld;butitisverypossibletoknowhowithastouchedone'sselfingoingby,andIknowrightwell,thatanygoodthatintermixeditselfwithmyapprenticeshipcameofplaincontentedJoe,andnotofrestlesslyaspiringdiscontentedme。
WhatIwanted,whocansay?HowcanIsay,whenIneverknew?
WhatIdreadedwas,thatinsomeunluckyhourI,beingatmygrimiestandcommonest,shouldliftupmyeyesandseeEstellalookinginatoneofthewoodenwindowsoftheforge。Iwashauntedbythefearthatshewould,soonerorlater,findmeout,withablackfaceandhands,doingthecoarsestpartofmywork,andwouldexultovermeanddespiseme。Oftenafterdark,whenIwaspullingthebellowsforJoe,andweweresingingOldClem,andwhenthethoughthowweusedtosingitatMissHavisham'swouldseemtoshowmeEstella'sfaceinthefire,withherprettyhairflutteringinthewindandhereyesscorningme,-oftenatsuchatimeIwouldlooktowardsthosepanelsofblacknightinthewallwhichthewoodenwindowsthenwere,andwouldfancythatIsawherjustdrawingherfaceaway,andwouldbelievethatshehadcomeatlast。
Afterthat,whenwewentintosupper,theplaceandthemealwouldhaveamorehomelylookthanever,andIwouldfeelmoreashamedofhomethanever,inmyownungraciousbreast。
Chapter15
ASIwasgettingtoobigforMrWopsle'sgreat-aunt'sroom,myeducationunderthatpreposterousfemaleterminated。Not,however,untilBiddyhadimpartedtomeeverythingsheknew,fromthelittlecatalogueofprices,toacomicsongshehadonceboughtforahalfpenny。Althoughtheonlycoherentpartofthelatterpieceofliteratureweretheopeninglines,WhenIwenttoLunnontownsirs,ToorulloorulToorulloorulWasn'tIdoneverybrownsirs?
ToorulloorulToorulloorul-still,inmydesiretobewiser,Igotthiscompositionbyheartwiththeutmostgravity;nordoIrecollectthatIquestioneditsmerit,exceptthatIthoughtasIstilldotheamountofToorulsomewhatinexcessofthepoetry。Inmyhungerforinformation,ImadeproposalstoMrWopsletobestowsomeintellectualcrumbsuponme;withwhichhekindlycomplied。
Asitturnedout,however,thatheonlywantedmeforadramaticlay-figure,tobecontradictedandembracedandweptoverandbulliedandclutchedandstabbedandknockedaboutinavarietyofways,Isoondeclinedthatcourseofinstruction;thoughnotuntilMrWopsleinhispoeticfuryhadseverelymauledme。
WhateverIacquired,ItriedtoimparttoJoe。Thisstatementsoundssowell,thatIcannotinmyconscienceletitpassunexplained。IwantedtomakeJoelessignorantandcommon,thathemightbeworthierofmysocietyandlessopentoEstella'sreproach。
TheoldBatteryoutonthemarsheswasourplaceofstudy,andabrokenslateandashortpieceofslatepencilwereoureducationalimplements:
towhichJoealwaysaddedapipeoftobacco。IneverknewJoetorememberanythingfromoneSundaytoanother,ortoacquire,undermytuition,anypieceofinformationwhatever。YethewouldsmokehispipeattheBatterywithafarmoresagaciousairthananywhereelse-evenwithalearnedair-asifheconsideredhimselftobeadvancingimmensely。Dearfellow,Ihopehedid。
Itwaspleasantandquiet,outtherewiththesailsontheriverpassingbeyondtheearthwork,andsometimes,whenthetidewaslow,lookingasiftheybelongedtosunkenshipsthatwerestillsailingonatthebottomofthewater。WheneverIwatchedthevesselsstandingouttoseawiththeirwhitesailsspread,IsomehowthoughtofMissHavishamandEstella;andwheneverthelightstruckaslant,afaroff,uponacloudorsailorgreenhill-sideorwater-line,itwasjustthesame-MissHavishamandEstellaandthestrangehouseandthestrangelifeappearedtohavesomethingtodowitheverythingthatwaspicturesque。
OneSundaywhenJoe,greatlyenjoyinghispipe,hadsoplumedhimselfonbeing`mostawfuldull,'thatIhadgivenhimupfortheday,Ilayontheearthworkforsometimewithmychinonmyhand,descryingtracesofMissHavishamandEstellaallovertheprospect,intheskyandinthewater,untilatlastIresolvedtomentionathoughtconcerningthemthathadbeenmuchinmyhead。
`Joe,'saidI;`don'tyouthinkIoughttomakeMissHavishamavisit?'
`Well,Pip,'returnedJoe,slowlyconsidering。`Whatfor?'
`Whatfor,Joe?Whatisanyvisitmadefor?'
`Thereissomewisits,p'r'aps,'saidJoe,`asforeverremainsopentothequestion,Pip。ButinregardtowisitingMissHavisham。Shemightthinkyouwantedsomething-expectedsomethingofher。'
`Don'tyouthinkImightsaythatIdidnot,Joe?'
`Youmight,oldchap,'saidJoe。`Andshemightcreditit。Similarlyshemightn't。'
Joefelt,asIdid,thathehadmadeapointthere,andhepulledhardathispipetokeephimselffromweakeningitbyrepetition。
`Yousee,Pip,'Joepursued,assoonashewaspastthatdanger,`MissHavishamdonethehandsomethingbyyou。WhenMissHavishamdonethehandsomethingbyyou,shecalledmebacktosaytomeasthatwereall。'
`Yes,Joe。Iheardher。'
`ALL,'Joerepeated,veryemphatically。
`Yes,Joe。Itellyou,Iheardher。'
`WhichImeantersay,Pip,itmightbethathermeaningwere-Makeaendonit!-Asyouwas!-MetotheNorth,andyoutotheSouth!-Keepinsunders!'
Ihadthoughtofthattoo,anditwasveryfarfromcomfortingtometofindthathehadthoughtofit;foritseemedtorenderitmoreprobable。
`But,Joe。'
`Yes,oldchap。'
`HereamI,gettingoninthefirstyearofmytime,and,sincethedayofmybeingbound,IhaveneverthankedMissHavisham,oraskedafterher,orshownthatIrememberher。'
`That'strue,Pip;andunlessyouwastoturnheroutasetofshoesallfourround-andwhichImeantersayasevenasetofshoesallfourroundmightnotactacceptableasapresent,inatotalwacancyofhoofs——'
`Idon'tmeanthatsortofremembrance,Joe;Idon'tmeanapresent。'
ButJoehadgottheideaofapresentinhisheadandmustharpuponit。`Oreven,'saidhe,`ifyouwashelpedtoknockingherupanewchainforthefrontdoor-orsayagrossortwoofsharkheadedscrewsforgeneraluse-orsomelightfancyarticle,suchasatoasting-forkwhenshetookhermuffins-oragridironwhenshetookaspratorsuchlike——'
`Idon'tmeananypresentatall,Joe,'Iinterposed。
`Well,'saidJoe,stillharpingonitasthoughIhadparticularlypressedit,`ifIwasyourself,Pip,Iwouldn't。No,Iwouldnot。Forwhat'sadoor-chainwhenshe'sgotonealwaysup?Andsharkheadersisopentomisrepresentations。Andifitwasatoasting-fork,you'dgointobrassanddoyourselfnocredit。Andtheoncommonestworkmancan'tshowhimselfoncommoninagridiron-foragridironISagridiron,'saidJoe,steadfastlyimpressingituponme,asifhewereendeavouringtorousemefromafixeddelusion,`andyoumayhaimatwhatyoulike,butagridironitwillcomeout,eitherbyyourleaveoragainyourleave,andyoucan'thelpyourself——'
`MydearJoe,'Icried,indesperation,takingholdofhiscoat,`don'tgooninthatway。IneverthoughtofmakingMissHavishamanypresent。'
`No,Pip,'Joeassented,asifhehadbeencontendingforthat,allalong;`andwhatIsaytoyouis,youareright,Pip。'
`Yes,Joe;butwhatIwantedtosay,was,thatasweareratherslackjustnow,ifyouwouldgivemeahalf-holidayto-morrow,IthinkIwouldgoup-townandmakeacallonMissEst-Havisham。'
`Whichhername,'saidJoe,gravely,`ain'tEstavisham,Pip,unlessshehavebeenrechris'ened。'
`Iknow,Joe,Iknow。Itwasslipofmine。Whatdoyouthinkofit,Joe?'
Inbrief,JoethoughtthatifIthoughtwellofit,hethoughtwellofit。But,hewasparticularinstipulatingthatifIwerenotreceivedwithcordiality,orifIwerenotencouragedtorepeatmyvisitasavisitwhichhadnoulteriorobjectbutwassimplyoneofgratitudeforafavourreceived,thenthisexperimentaltripshouldhavenosuccessor。BytheseconditionsIpromisedtoabide。
Now,JoekeptajourneymanatweeklywageswhosenamewasOrlick。HepretendedthathischristiannamewasDolge-aclearimpossibility-buthewasafellowofthatobstinatedispositionthatIbelievehimtohavebeenthepreyofnodelusioninthisparticular,butwilfullytohaveimposedthatnameuponthevillageasanaffronttoitsunderstanding。Hewasabroadshoulderedloose-limbedswarthyfellowofgreatstrength,neverinahurry,andalwaysslouching。Heneverevenseemedtocometohisworkonpurpose,butwouldslouchinasifbymereaccident;andwhenhewenttotheJollyBargementoeathisdinner,orwentawayatnight,hewouldslouchout,likeCainortheWanderingJew,asifhehadnoideawherehewasgoingandnointentionofevercomingback。Helodgedatasluice-keeper'soutonthemarshes,andonworkingdayswouldcomeslouchingfromhishermitage,withhishandsinhispocketsandhisdinnerlooselytiedinabundleroundhisneckanddanglingonhisback。OnSundayshemostlylayalldayonsluice-gates,orstoodagainstricksandbarns。Healwaysslouched,locomotively,withhiseyesontheground;and,whenaccostedorotherwiserequiredtoraisethem,helookedupinahalfresentful,halfpuzzledway,asthoughtheonlythoughtheeverhad,was,thatitwasratheranoddandinjuriousfactthatheshouldneverbethinking。
Thismorosejourneymanhadnolikingforme。WhenIwasverysmallandtimid,hegavemetounderstandthattheDevillivedinablackcorneroftheforge,andthatheknewthefiendverywell:alsothatitwasnecessarytomakeupthefire,onceinsevenyears,withaliveboy,andthatImightconsidermyselffuel。WhenIbecameJoe's'prentice,OrlickwasperhapsconfirmedinsomesuspicionthatIshoulddisplacehim;howbeit,helikedmestillless。Notthatheeversaidanything,ordidanything,openlyimportinghostility;Ionlynoticedthathealwaysbeathissparksinmydirection,andthatwheneverIsangOldClem,hecameinoutoftime。
DolgeOrlickwasatworkandpresent,nextday,whenIremindedJoeofmyhalf-holiday。Hesaidnothingatthemoment,forheandJoehadjustgotapieceofhotironbetweenthem,andIwasatthebellows;butby-and-byhesaid,leaningonhishammer:
`Now,master!Sureyou'renotagoingtofavouronlyoneofus。IfYoungPiphasahalf-holiday,doasmuchforOldOrlick。'Isupposehewasaboutfive-and-twenty,butheusuallyspokeofhimselfasanancientperson。
`Why,what'llyoudowithahalf-holiday,ifyougetit?'saidJoe。
`What'llIdowithit!What'llhedowithit?I'lldoasmuchwithitashim,'saidOrlick。
`AstoPip,he'sgoingup-town,'saidJoe。
`Wellthen,astoOldOrlick,he'sagoingup-town,'retortedthatworthy。`Twocangoup-town。Tan'tonlyonewotcangoup-town。
`Don'tloseyourtemper,'saidJoe。
`ShallifIlike,'growledOrlick。`Someandtheirup-towning!Now,master!
Come。Nofavouringinthisshop。Beaman!'
Themasterrefusingtoentertainthesubjectuntilthejourneymanwasinabettertemper,Orlickplungedatthefurnace,drewoutared-hotbar,madeatmewithitasifheweregoingtorunitthroughmybody,whiskeditroundmyhead,laiditontheanvil,hammereditout-asifitwereI,Ithought,andthesparksweremyspirtingblood-andfinallysaid,whenhehadhammeredhimselfhotandtheironcold,andheagainleanedonhishammer:
`Now,master!'
`Areyouallrightnow?'demandedJoe。
`Ah!Iamallright,'saidgruffOldOrlick。
`Then,asingeneralyousticktoyourworkaswellasmostmen,'saidJoe,`letitbeahalf-holidayforall。'
Mysisterhadbeenstandingsilentintheyard,withinhearing-shewasamostunscrupulousspyandlistener-andsheinstantlylookedinatoneofthewindows。
`Likeyou,youfool!'saidshetoJoe,`givingholidaystogreatidlehulkerslikethat。Youarearichman,uponmylife,towastewagesinthatway。IwishIwashismaster!'
`You'dbeeverybody'smaster,ifyoudurst,'retortedOrlick,withanill-favouredgrin。
`Letheralone,'saidJoe。
`I'dbeamatchforallnoodlesandallrogues,'returnedmysister,beginningtoworkherselfintoamightyrage。`AndIcouldn'tbeamatchforthenoodles,withoutbeingamatchforyourmaster,who'sthedunder-headedkingofthenoodles。AndIcouldn'tbeamatchfortherogues,withoutbeingamatchforyou,whoaretheblackest-lookingandtheworstroguebetweenthisandFrance。Now!'
`You'reafoulshrew,MotherGargery,growledthejourneyman。`Ifthatmakesajudgeofrogues,yououghttobeagood'un。'
`Letheralone,willyou?'saidJoe。
`Whatdidyousay?'criedmysister,beginningtoscream。`Whatdidyousay?WhatdidthatfellowOrlicksaytome,Pip?Whatdidhecallme,withmyhusbandstandingby?O!O!O!'Eachoftheseexclamationswasashriek;andImustremarkofmysister,whatisequallytrueofalltheviolentwomenIhaveeverseen,thatpassionwasnoexcuseforher,becauseitisundeniablethatinsteadoflapsingintopassion,sheconsciouslyanddeliberatelytookextraordinarypainstoforceherselfintoit,andbecameblindlyfuriousbyregularstages;`whatwasthenamehegavemebeforethebasemanwhosworetodefendme?O!Holdme!O!'
`Ah-h-h!'growledthejourneyman,betweenhisteeth,`I'dholdyou,ifyouwasmywife。I'dholdyouunderthepump,andchokeitoutofyou。'
`Itellyou,letheralone,'saidJoe。
`Oh!Tohearhim!'criedmysister,withaclapofherhandsandascreamtogether-whichwashernextstage。`Tohearthenameshe'sgivingme!
ThatOrlick!Inmyownhouse!Me,amarriedwoman!Withmyhusbandstandingby!O!O!'Heremysister,afterafitofclappingsandscreamings,beatherhandsuponherbosomanduponherknees,andthrewhercapoff,andpulledherhairdown-whichwerethelaststagesonherroadtofrenzy。
BeingbythistimeaperfectFuryandacompletesuccess,shemadeadashatthedoor,whichIhadfortunatelylocked。
WhatcouldthewretchedJoedonow,afterhisdisregardedparentheticalinterruptions,butstanduptohisjourneyman,andaskhimwhathemeantbyinterferingbetwixthimselfandMrsJoe;andfurtherwhetherhè;
wasmanenoughtocomeon?OldOrlickfeltthatthesituationadmittedofnothinglessthancomingon,andwasonhisdefencestraightway;so,withoutsomuchaspullingofftheirsingedandburntaprons,theywentatoneanother,liketwogiants。But,ifanymaninthatneighbourhoodcouldstanduplongagainstJoe,Ineversawtheman。Orlick,asifhehadbeenofnomoreaccountthanthepaleyounggentleman,wasverysoonamongthecoal-dust,andinnohurrytocomeoutofit。Then,Joeunlockedthedoorandpickedupmysister,whohaddroppedinsensibleatthewindowbutwhohadseenthefightfirst,Ithink,andwhowascarriedintothehouseandlaiddown,andwhowasrecommendedtorevive,andwoulddonothingbutstruggleandclenchherhandsinJoe'shair。Then,camethatsingularcalmandsilencewhichsucceedalluproars;andthen,withthevaguesensationwhichIhavealwaysconnectedwithsuchalull-namely,thatitwasSunday,andsomebodywasdead-Iwentup-stairstodressmyself。
WhenIcamedownagain,IfoundJoeandOrlicksweepingup,withoutanyothertracesofdiscomposurethanaslitinoneofOrlick'snostrils,whichwasneitherexpressivenorornamental。ApotofbeerhadappearedfromtheJollyBargemen,andtheyweresharingitbyturnsinapeaceablemanner。ThelullhadasedativeandphilosophicalinfluenceonJoe,whofollowedmeoutintotheroadtosay,asapartingobservationthatmightdomegood,`OntheRampage,Pip,andofftheRampage,Pip-suchisLife!'
Withwhatabsurdemotionsfor,wethinkthefeelingsthatareveryseriousinamanquitecomicalinaboyIfoundmyselfagaingoingtoMissHavisham's,matterslittlehere。Nor,howIpassedandrepassedthegatemanytimesbeforeIcouldmakeupmymindtoring。Nor,howIdebatedwhetherIshouldgoawaywithoutringing;nor,howIshouldundoubtedlyhavegone,ifmytimehadbeenmyown,tocomeback。
MissSarahPocketcametothegate。NoEstella。
`How,then?Youhereagain?'saidMissPocket。`Whatdoyouwant?'
WhenIsaidthatIonlycametoseehowMissHavishamwas,Sarahevidentlydeliberatedwhetherornosheshouldsendmeaboutmybusiness。But,unwillingtohazardtheresponsibility,sheletmein,andpresentlybroughtthesharpmessagethatIwasto`comeup。'
Everythingwasunchanged,andMissHavishamwasalone。
`Well?'saidshe,fixinghereyesuponme。`Ihopeyouwantnothing?
You'llgetnothing。'
`No,indeed,MissHavisham。IonlywantedyoutoknowthatIamdoingverywellinmyapprenticeship,andamalwaysmuchobligedtoyou。'
`There,there!'withtheoldrestlessfingers。`Comenowandthen;comeonyourbirthday-Ay!'shecriedsuddenly,turningherselfandherchairtowardsme,`YouarelookingroundforEstella?Hey?'
Ihadbeenlookinground-infact,forEstella-andIstammeredthatIhopedshewaswell。
`Abroad,'saidMissHavisham;`educatingforalady;faroutofreach;
prettierthanever;admiredbyallwhoseeher。Doyoufeelthatyouhavelosther?'
Therewassuchamalignantenjoymentinherutteranceofthelastwords,andshebrokeintosuchadisagreeablelaugh,thatIwasatalosswhattosay。Shesparedmethetroubleofconsidering,bydismissingme。WhenthegatewascloseduponmebySarahofthewalnut-shellcountenance,I
feltmorethaneverdissatisfiedwithmyhomeandwithmytradeandwitheverything;andthatwasallItookbythatmotion。
AsIwasloiteringalongtheHigh-street,lookingindisconsolatelyattheshopwindows,andthinkingwhatIwouldbuyifIwereagentleman,whoshouldcomeoutofthebookshopbutMrWopsle。MrWopslehadinhishandtheaffectingtragedyofGeorgeBarnwell,inwhichhehadthatmomentinvestedsixpence,withtheviewofheapingeverywordofitontheheadofPumblechook,withwhomhewasgoingtodrinktea。Nosoonerdidheseeme,thanheappearedtoconsiderthataspecialProvidencehadputa'prenticeinhiswaytobereadat;andhelaidholdofme,andinsistedonmyaccompanyinghimtothePumblechookianparlour。AsIknewitwouldbemiserableathome,andasthenightsweredarkandthewaywasdreary,andalmostanycompanionshipontheroadwasbetterthannone,Imadenogreatresistance;consequently,weturnedintoPumblechook'sjustasthestreetandtheshopswerelightingup。
AsIneverassistedatanyotherrepresentationofGeorgeBarnwell,Idon'tknowhowlongitmayusuallytake;butIknowverywellthatittookuntilhalf-pastnineo'clockthatnight,andthatwhenMrWopslegotintoNewgate,Ithoughtheneverwouldgotothescaffold,hebecamesomuchslowerthanatanyformerperiodofhisdisgracefulcareer。Ithoughtitalittletoomuchthatheshouldcomplainofbeingcutshortinhisflowerafterall,asifhehadnotbeenrunningtoseed,leafafterleaf,eversincehiscoursebegan。This,however,wasamerequestionoflengthandwearisomeness。Whatstungme,wastheidentificationofthewholeaffairwithmyunoffendingself。WhenBarnwellbegantogowrong,IdeclarethatIfeltpositivelyapologetic,Pumblechook'sindignantstaresotaxedmewithit。Wopsle,too,tookpainstopresentmeintheworstlight。Atonceferociousandmaudlin,Iwasmadetomurdermyunclewithnoextenuatingcircumstanceswhatever;Millwoodputmedowninargument,oneveryoccasion;
itbecamesheermonomaniainmymaster'sdaughtertocareabuttonforme;andallIcansayformygaspingandprocrastinatingconductonthefatalmorning,is,thatitwasworthyofthegeneralfeeblenessofmycharacter。
EvenafterIwashappilyhangedandWopslehadclosedthebook,Pumblechooksatstaringatme,andshakinghishead,andsaying,`Takewarning,boy,takewarning!'asifitwereawell-knownfactthatIcontemplatedmurderinganearrelation,providedIcouldonlyinduceonetohavetheweaknesstobecomemybenefactor。
Itwasaverydarknightwhenitwasallover,andwhenIsetoutwithMr。Wopsleonthewalkhome。Beyondtown,wefoundaheavymistout,anditfellwetandthick。Theturnpikelampwasablur,quiteoutofthelamp'susualplaceapparently,anditsrayslookedsolidsubstanceonthefog。
Wewerenoticingthis,andsayinghowthatthemistrosewithachangeofwindfromacertainquarterofourmarshes,whenwecameuponaman,slouchingundertheleeoftheturnpikehouse。
`Halloa!'wesaid,stopping。`Orlick,there?'
`Ah!'heanswered,slouchingout。`Iwasstandingby,aminute,onthechanceofcompany。'
`Youarelate,'Iremarked。
Orlicknotunnaturallyanswered,`Well?Andyou'relate。'
`Wehavebeen,'saidMrWopsle,exaltedwithhislateperformance,`wehavebeenindulging,MrOrlick,inanintellectualevening。'
OldOrlickgrowled,asifhehadnothingtosayaboutthat,andweallwentontogether。Iaskedhimpresentlywhetherhehadbeenspendinghishalf-holidayupanddowntown?
`Yes,'saidhe,`allofit。Icomeinbehindyourself。Ididn'tseeyou,butImusthavebeenprettyclosebehindyou。By-the-bye,thegunsisgoingagain。'
`AttheHulks?'saidI。
`Ay!There'ssomeofthebirdsflownfromthecages。Thegunshavebeengoingsincedark,about。You'llhearonepresently。'
Ineffect,wehadnotwalkedmanyyardsfurther,whenthewellrememberedboomcametowardsus,deadenedbythemist,andheavilyrolledawayalongthelowgroundsbytheriver,asifitwerepursuingandthreateningthefugitives。
`Agoodnightforcuttingoffin,'saidOrlick。`We'dbepuzzledhowtobringdownajail-birdonthewing,to-night。'
Thesubjectwasasuggestiveonetome,andIthoughtaboutitinsilence。
MrWopsle,astheill-requiteduncleoftheevening'stragedy,felltomeditatingaloudinhisgardenatCamberwell。Orlick,withhishandsinhispockets,slouchedheavilyatmyside。Itwasverydark,verywet,verymuddy,andsowesplashedalong。Nowandthen,thesoundofthesignalcannonbrokeuponusagain,andagainrolledsulkilyalongthecourseoftheriver。Ikeptmyselftomyselfandmythoughts。MrWopslediedamiablyatCamberwell,andexceedinglygameonBosworthField,andinthegreatestagoniesatGlastonbury。Orlicksometimesgrowled,`Beatitout,beatitout-OldClem!Withaclinkforthestout-OldClem!'Ithoughthehadbeendrinking,buthewasnotdrunk。
Thus,wecametothevillage。Thewaybywhichweapproachedit,tookuspasttheThreeJollyBargemen,whichweweresurprisedtofind-itbeingeleveno'clock-inastateofcommotion,withthedoorwideopen,andunwontedlightsthathadbeenhastilycaughtupandputdown,scatteredabout。MrWopsledroppedintoaskwhatwasthemattersurmisingthataconvicthadbeentaken,butcamerunningoutinagreathurry。
`There'ssomethingwrong,'saidhe,withoutstopping,`upatyourplace,Pip。Runall!'
`Whatisit?'Iasked,keepingupwithhim。SodidOrlick,atmyside。
`Ican'tquiteunderstand。ThehouseseemstohavebeenviolentlyenteredwhenJoeGargerywasout。Supposedbyconvicts。Somebodyhasbeenattackedandhurt。'
Wewererunningtoofasttoadmitofmorebeingsaid,andwemadenostopuntilwegotintoourkitchen。Itwasfullofpeople;thewholevillagewasthere,orintheyard;andtherewasasurgeon,andtherewasJoe,andtherewasagroupofwomen,allonthefloorinthemidstofthekitchen。
Theunemployedbystandersdrewbackwhentheysawme,andsoIbecameawareofmysister-lyingwithoutsenseormovementonthebareboardswhereshehadbeenknockeddownbyatremendousblowonthebackofthehead,dealtbysomeunknownhandwhenherfacewasturnedtowardsthefire-
destinednevertobeontheRampageagain,whileshewasthewifeofJoe。