YouthinkImighthavegotitoutofBoyne?PerhapsImight,butyouknowIhavemylittlescruples。Idon’tthinkitwouldhequitefair,orquitenice。"
"Youarescrupulous。AndIgiveyoucreditforhavingbeenmoredelicatethanI’vebeen。"
"Youdon’tmeanyou’vebeentryingtofinditout!"
"Ah,nowI’mnotsureaboutthesuperiordelicacy!"
"Oh,howgood!"saidMissRasmith。"Whatapityyoushouldbewastedinacallingthatlimitsyousomuch。"
"Youcallitlimiting?Ididn’tknowbutIhadgonetoofar。"
"Notatall!Youknowthere’snothingIlikesomuchasthoselittledigs。"
"Ihadforgotten。Thenyouwon’tmindmysayingthatthissurveillanceseemstomerathermorethanIhaveanyrighttofromyou。"
"Howexquisitelyyouputit!Whoelsecouldhavetoldmetomindmyownbusinesssodelightfully?Well,itisn’tmybusiness。Iacknowledgethat,andIspokeonlybecauseIknewyouwouldbesorryifyouhadgonetoofar。Irememberedourpromisetobefriends。"
Shethrewatouchofrealfeelingintohertone,andheresponded,"Yes,andIthankyouforit,thoughitisn’teasy。"
Sheputoutherhandtohim,and,ashequestioninglytookit,shepressedhiswithanimation。"Ofcourseitisn’t!Oritwouldn’tbeforanyotherman。Butdon’tyousupposeIappreciatethatsupremecourageofyours?Thereisnobodyelse-nobody!——whocouldstanduptoanimpertinenceandturnittopraisebysuchhumility。"
"Don’tgotoofar,orIshallbeturningyourpraisetoimpertinencebymyhumility。You’requiteright,though,aboutthemainmatter。I
needn’tsupposeanythingsopreposterousasyousuggest,tofeelthatpeoplearebestleftalonetooutlivetheirtroubles,unlesstheyareofthemostobviouskind。"
"Now,ifIthoughtIhaddoneanythingtostopyoufromofferingthatsortofhelpfulnesswhichmakesyouablessingtoeverybody,Ishouldneverforgivemyself。"
"Nothingsodireasthat,Ibelieve。Butifyou’vemademequestiontheproprietyofapplyingtheblessinginallcases,youhavedoneaverygoodthing。"
MissRasmithwassilentandapparentlyserious。Afteramomentshesaid,"AndI,formypart,promisetoletpoorlittleBoynealone。"
Breckonlaughed。"Don’tburlesqueit!Besides,Ihaven’tpromisedanything。"
"Thatisverytrue,"saidMissRasmith,andshelaughed,too。
XVI。
Inoneofthosedramaticreverieswhichweallholdwithourselveswhenfortunehaspressinglyplacedus,EllenKentonhadimagineditpossibleforhertotellherstorytothemanwhohadsogentlyandtrulytriedtobeherfriend。Itwasmostlyinthewayofexplainingtohimhowshewasunworthyofhisfriendshipthatthestorywastold,andshefanciedtellingitwithoutbeingscandalizedatviolatingtheconventionsthatshouldhavekeptherfromevendreamingofsuchathing。Itwasallexaltedtoaplanewheretherewasnoquestionoffitorunfitindoingit,butonlytheoccasion;andhewouldneverhearoftheunworthinesswhichshewishedtoascribetoherself。Sometimeshemournfullyleftherwhenshepersisted,leftherforever,andsometimesherefused,andretainedwithherinasublimekindness,anobleamity,loftyandserene,whichdidnotseektobecomeanythingelse。Inthiscaseshewouldbreakfromherreverieswithself-accusingcries,underherbreath,of"Silly,silly!Oh,howdisgusting!"andifatthatmomentBreckonwerereallycominguptositbyher,shewouldblushtoherhair,andwishtorunaway,andfailingtheforceforthis,wouldsitcoldandblanktohiscivilities,andhavetobeskilfullyandgraduallytalkedbacktoself-
respectandself-tolerance。
TherecurrenceofthesereveriesandtheirconsequenceinhermadeitdifficultforhimtoputineffectthepromisehehadgivenhimselfinMissRasmith’spresence。IfEllenhadbeeneagertowelcomehiscoming,itwouldhavebeenverysimpletokeepawayfromher,butassheappearedanxioustoescapehim,andhadtobeentreated,asitwere,tosufferhissociety,somethingbetterthanhiscuriositywaspiqued,thoughthatwaspiqued,too。Hebelievedthathesawherlapsingagainintothatmorbidstatefromwhichhehadseemedonceabletosaveher,andhecouldnothelptryingagain。HewasthemoreboundtodosobytheironicalobservanceofMissRasmith,whohadtobedefiedfirst,andthenpropitiated;certainly,whenshesawhimapparentlybreakingfaithwithher,shehadarighttosomesortofexplanation,butcertainlyalsoshehadnorighttoablindandunreasoningsubmissionfromhim。HisembarrassmentwasheightenedbyherinterestinMissKenton,whom,withanadmirableshowofnowfindinghersafefromBreckon’sattractions,shewasalwayswishingtostudyfromhisobservation。Whatwasshereallylike?Thegirlhadaperfectfascinationforher;sheenviedhimhisopportunitiesofknowingher,andhisprivilegesofmakingthatmelancholyfacelightupwiththatheart-breakingsmile,andofbanishingthatdeliciousshynesswithwhichshealwaysseemedtomeethim。MissRasmithhadnoticedit;howcouldshehelpnoticingit?
Breckonwishedtohimselfthatshehadbeenabletohelpnoticingit,orweremorecapableofmindingherownbusinessthansheshowedherself,andhisheartclosedaboutEllenwithatendernessthatwasdangerouslyindignant。AtthesametimehefelthimselfwithheldbyMissRasmith’switnessfrombeingalltothegirlthathewishedtobe,andthathenowseemedtohavebeeninthosefirstdaysofstorm,whileMissRasmithandhermotherwerestillkeepingtheircabin。HeforesawthatitwouldendinMissRasmith’ssympatheticnaturenotbeingabletowithholditselffromEllen’sneedofcheerfulcompanionship,andhewassurprised,aslittleashewaspleased,onemorning,whenhecametotakethechairbesidehertofindMissRasmithinit,talkingandlaughingtothegirl,whoperverselyshowedherselfamused。MissRasmithmadeasiftoofferhimtheseat,buthehadtogoawaydisappointed,afterstandinglongenoughbeforethemtobeawarethattheyweresuspendingsometopicwhilehestayed。
Henaturallysupposedthetopictobehimself,butitwasnotso,oratleastnotdirectlyso。ItwasonlyhimselfasrelatedtothescoldinghehadgivenMissRasmithfortriflingwiththeinnocenceofBoyne,whichshewishedMissKentontounderstandastheeffectofarealaffectionforherbrother。Shelovedallboys,andBoynewassimplythemostdelightfulcreatureintheworld。Shewentontoexplainhowdelightfulhewas,andshowedasuchanappreciationoftheinfantilesweetnessmingledwiththematureseverityofBoyne’scharacterthatEllencouldnothelpbeingpleasedandwon。ShetoldsomelittlestoriesofBoynethatthrewalightalsotheirhomelifeinTuskingum,andMissRasmithdeclaredherselfperfectlyfascinated,andwishedthatshecouldgoandliveinTuskingum。Sheprotestedthatsheshouldnotfinditdull;Boynealonewouldbeentertainmentenough;andshefiguredacircumstancesoidyllicfromthehintsshehadgathered,thatEllen’sbrowdarkenedinsilentdenial,andMissRasmithfeltherself,asthechildrensayinthegame,veryhotinherproximitytothegirl’ssecret。Shewouldhavelikedtoknowit,butwhethershefeltthatshecouldknowitwhenshelikedenough,orwhethersheshouldnotbesosafewithBreckoninknowingit,sheveeredsuddenlyaway,andsaidthatshewassogladtohaveBoyne’sfamilyknowthepeculiarnatureofherdevotion,whichdidnotnecessarilymeanrunningawaywithhim,thoughitmightcometothat。
ShesupposedshewasalittlemorbidaboutitfromwhatMr。Breckonhadbeensaying;hehadaconsciencethatwouldbreakthepeaceofawholecommunity,thoughhewasthegreatestpossiblefavorite,notonlywithhisowncongregation,whichsimplyworshippedhim,butwiththebestsociety,wherehewasinconstantrequest。
Itwasnotherfaultifshedidnotoverdothesehistory,butperhapsitwasalltrueaboutthenumberofgirlswhowerereadyandwillingtomarryhim。Itmightevenbetrue,thoughshehadnodirectauthorityforsayingit,thathehadmadeuphismindnevertomarry,andthatwasthereasonwhyhefelthimselfsosafeinbeingthenicestsortoffriend。
Hewassafe,MissRasmithphilosophized,butwhetherotherpeopleweresosafewasadifferentquestion。Thereweregirlswhoweresaidtobedyingforhim;butofcoursethosethingswerealwayssaidaboutahandsomeyoungminister。Shehadfranklytakenhimonhisownground,fromthebeginning,andshebelievedthatthiswaswhatheliked。Atanyrate,theyhadagreedthattheywerenevertobeanythingbutthebestoffriends,andtheyalwayshadbeen。
Mrs。KentoncameandshylytookthechaironMissRasmith’sotherside,andMissRasmithsaidtheyhadbeentalkingaboutMr。Breckon,andsherepeatedwhatshehadbeensayingtoEllen。Mrs。KentonassentedmoreopenlythanEllencouldtoherpraises,butwhenshewentaway,andherdaughtersatpassive,withoutcommentorapparentinterest,themotherdrewalong,involuntarysigh。
"Doyoulikeher,Ellen?"
"Shetriestobepleasant,Ithink。"
"DoyouthinkshereallyknowsmuchaboutMr。Breckon?"
"Ohyes。Whynot?Shebelongstohischurch。"
"Hedoesn’tseemtomelikeapersonwhowouldhaveaparcelofgirlstaggingafterhim。"
"ThatiswhattheydointheEast,Boynesays。"
"IwishshewouldletBoynealone。Sheismakingafoolofthechild。
He’sroundwithhereverymoment。Ithinksheoughttobeashamed,suchanoldthing!"
Ellenchosetoprotest,orthoughtitfairtodoso。"Idon’tbelievesheisdoinghimanyharm。Shejustletshimtalkout,andeverybodyelsecheckshimupso。Itwasniceofhertocomeandtalkwithme,whenwehadallbeenkeepingawayfromher。Perhapshesenther,though。Shesaystheyhavealwaysbeensuchgoodfriendsbecauseshewouldn’tbeanythingelsefromthebeginning。"
"Idon’tseewhysheneedhavetoldyouthat。"
"Oh,itwasjusttoshowhewasrunafter。Iwonderifhethinkswearerunningafterhim?Momma,Iamtiredofhim!Iwishhewouldn’tspeaktomeanymore。"
"Why!doyoureallydislikehim,Ellen?"
"No,notdislikehim。Butittiresmetohavehimtryingtoamuseme。
Don’tyouunderstand?"
Mrs。Kentonsaidyes,sheunderstood,butshewasclearonlyofthefactthatEllenseemedflushedandweakatthatmoment。ShebelievedthatitwasMissRasmithandnotMr。Breckonwhowastoblame,butshesaid:
"Well,youneedn’tworryaboutitlong。ItwillonlybeadayortwonowtillwegettoBoulogne,andthenhewillleaveus。Hadn’tyoubettergodownnow,andrestawhileinyourberth?Iwillbringyourthings。"
Ellenrose,pullingherwrapsfromherskirtstogivethemtohermother。
Avoicefrombehindsaidbetweentheirmeetingshoulders:"Oh,areyougoingdown?IwasjustcomingtobegMissKentontotakealittlewalkwithme,"andtheylookedroundtogetherandmetBreckon’ssmilingface。
"I’mafraid,"Mrs。Kentonbegan,andthen,likeawell-trainedAmericanmother,shestoppedandlefttheaffairtoherdaughter。
"Doyouthinkyoucangetdownwiththem,momma?"thegirlasked,andsomehowhermother’sheartwaslightenedbyherevasion,nottocallituncandor。Itwasatleastnotmorbid,itwasatleastlikeothergirls,andMrs。Kentonimpartedwhatcomforttherewasinittothejudge,whenheaskedwhereshehadleftEllen。
"Notthatit’sanyuse,"shesighed,whenshehadseenhimshareitwithacertainshamefacedness。"Thatwomanhasgothergriponhim,andshedoesn’tmeantoletgo。"
KentonunderstoodMissRasmithbythatwoman;buthewouldnotallowhimselftobesoeasilycastdown。ThiswasoneofthethingsthatprovokedMrs。Kentonwithhim;whenhehadoncetakenhopehewouldnotabandonitwithoutreason。"Idon’tseeanyevidenceofherhavinghergriponhim。I’venoticedhim,andhedoesn’tseemattentivetoher。
Ishouldsayhetriedtoavoidher。Hecertainlydoesn’tavoidEllen。"
"Whatareyouthinkingof,Rufus?"
"Whatareyou?Youknowwe’dbothbegladifhefanciedher。"
"Well,supposewewould?Idon’tdenyit。HeisoneofthemostagreeablegentlemenIeversaw;oneofthekindestandnicest。"
"He’smorethanthat,"saidthejudge。"I’vebeensoundinghimonvariouspoints,andIdon’tseewherehe’swrong。Ofcourse,Idon’tknowmuchabouthisreligiouspersuasion,ifitisone,butIthinkI’maprettyfairjudgeofcharacter,andthatyoungmanhascharacter。Heisn’talightperson,thoughhelikesjokingandlaughing,andheappreciatesEllen。"
"Yes,sodowe。Andthere’saboutasmuchprospectofhismarryingher。
Rufus,it’sprettyhard!She’sjustinthemoodtobetakenwithhim,butshewon’tletherself,becausesheknowsit’sofnouse。ThatMissRasmithhasbeentellingherhowmuchheisrunafter,andIcouldseethatthatsettleditforEllenasplainlyasifshesaidso。Moreplainly,forthere’senoughofthegirlinhertomakehersayonethingwhenshemeansanother。Shewasjustsayingshewassickofhim,andneverwantedtospeaktohimagain,whenhecameupandaskedhertowalk,andshewentwithhiminstantly。Iknewwhatshemeant。Shewasn’tgoingtolethimsupposethatanythingMissRasmithhadsaidwasgoingtochangeher。"
"Well,then,"saidthejudge,"Idon’tseewhatyou’rescaredat。"
I’mnotSCARED。But,oh,Rufus!Itcan’tcometoanything!Thereisn’ttime!"Anhystericalhopetrembledinherasseverationofdespairthatmadehimsmile。
"Iguessiftime’sallthat’swanted——"
"HeisgoingtogetoffatBoulogne。"
"Well,wecangetoffthere,too。"
"Rufus,ifyoudaretothinkofsuchathing!"
"Idon’t。ButEuropeisn’tsobigbutwhathecanfindusagainifhewantsto。"
"Ah,ifhewantsto!"
Ellenseemedtohavelethermothertakeherlanguorbelowalongwiththeshawlsshehadgivenher。Buttonedintoaclosejacket,andskirtedshortforthesea,shepushedagainstthebreezeatBreckon’selbowwithavigorthatmadehimlookhissurpriseather。Girl-like,shetookitthatsomethingwaswrongwithherdress,andranherselfoverwithanuneasyeye。
Thenheexplained:"IwasjustthinkinghowmuchyouwerelikeMissLottie-ifyou’llexcusemybeingsopersonal。Anditneverstruckmebefore。"
"Ididn’tsupposewelookedalike,"saidEllen。
"No,certainly。Ishouldn’thavetakenyouforsisters。Andyet,justnow,Ifeltthatyouwerelikeher。Youseemsomuchstrongerthismorning——perhapsit’sthatthevoyageisdoingyougood。Shallyoubesorrytohaveitend?"
"Shallyou?That’sthewayLottiewouldanswer。"
Breckonlaughed。"Yes,itis。Ishallbeverysorry。Ishouldbewillingtohaveitroughagain,itthatwouldmakeitlonger。Ilikedit’sbeingrough。Wehadittoourselves。"Hehadnotthoughthowthatsounded,butifitsoundedparticular,shedidnotnoticeit。
Shemerelysaid,"Iwassurprisednottobeseasick,too。"
"Andshouldyoubewillingtohaveitroughagain?"
"Youwouldn’tseeanythingmoreofyourfriends,then。"
"Ah,yes;MissRasmith。Sheisagreattalker,Didyoufindherinteresting?"
"Shewasveryinteresting。"
"Yes?Whatdidshetalkabout?"
Ellenrealizedthefacttoolatetowithhold"Why,aboutyou。"
"Andwasthatwhatmadeherinteresting?"
"Now,whatwouldLottiesaytosuchathingasthat?"askedEllen,gayly。
"Somethingterriblycutting,I’mafraid。Butdon’tyou!FromyouI
don’twanttobelieveIdeserveit,nomatterwhatMissRasmithsaidme。"
"Oh,shedidn’tsayanythingverybad。Unlessyoumindbeingauniversalfavorite。"
"Well,itmakesamanoutrathersilly。"
"Butyoucan’thelpthat。"
"NowyouremindmeofMissLottieagain!"
"ButIdidn’tmeanthat,"saidEllen,blushingandlaughing。"Ihopeyouwouldn’tthinkIcouldbesopert。"
"Iwouldn’tthinkanythingthatwasn’ttoyourpraise,"saidBreckon,andapauseensued,afterwhichthewordsheaddedseemedtameandflat。
"IsuspectMissRasmithhasbeenidealizingthesituation。Atanyrate,Ishouldn’tadviseyoutotrustherreportimplicitly。I’mattheheadofasociety,youknow,ethicalorsociological,oraltruistic,whateveryouchoosetocallit,whichhasn’tanyverydefiniteobjectofworship,andyetmeetseverySundayforasortofworship;andIhavetobeinthepulpit。Soyousee?"
Ellensaid,"IthinkIunderstand,"withatemptationtosmileattheruefulnessofhisappeal。
Breckonlaughedforher。"That’sthemischiefandtheabsurdityofit。
Butitisn’tsobadasitseems。They’rereallymostofthemhard-headedpeople;andthosethatarenotcouldn’tmakeafoolofamanthatnaturehadn’tbegunwith。Still,I’mnotverywellsatisfiedwithmyworkamongthem——thatis,I’mnotsatisfiedwithmyself。"Hewastalkingsoberlyenough,andhedidnotfindthatshewaslisteningtooseriously。"I’mgoingawaytoseewhetherIshallcomeback。"Helookedathertomakesurethatshehadtakenhismeaning,andseemedsatisfiedthatshehad。
"I’mnotsurethatI’mfitforanysortofministry,andImayfindthewinterinEnglandtryingtofindout。IwasatschoolinEngland,youknow。"
Ellenconfessedthatshehadnotknownthat。
"Yes;Isupposethat’swhatmademeseem’soEnglishy’thefirstdaytoMissLottie,asshecalledit。ButI’mstraightenoughAmericanasfarasparentagegoes。DoyouthinkyouwillbeinEngland-later?"
"Idon’tknow。Ifpoppagetstoohomesickwewillgobackinthefall。"
"MissKenton,"saidtheyoungman,abruptly,"willyouletmetellyouhowmuchIadmireandrevereyourfather?"
Tearscameintohereyesandherthroatswelled。"Butyoudon’tknow,"
shebegun;andthenshestopped。
"Ihavebeenwantingtosubmitsomethingtohisjudgment;butI’vebeenafraid。Imightseemtobefishingforhisfavor。"
"Poppawouldn’tthinkanythingthatwasunjust,"saidEllen,gravely。
"Ah,"Breckonlaughed,"IsuspectthatIshouldratherhavehimunjust。
Iwishyou’dtellmewhathewouldthink。"
"ButIdon’tknowwhatitis,"sheprotested,withareflectedsmile。
"IwasinhopesMissRasmithmighthavetoldyou。Well,itissimplythis,andyouwillseethatI’mnotquitetheuniversalfavoriteshe’sbeenmakingyoufancyme。Thereisariftinmylute,aschisminmylittlesociety,whichissolittlethatIcouldnothavesupposedtherewasenoughofittobreakintwo。Therearesomewhothinktheirlecturer——forthat’swhatIamountto——oughttobeanolder,ifnotagraverman。Theyareintheminority,butthey’reintheright,I’mafraid;andthat’swhyIhappentobeheretellingyouallthis。It’saquestionofwhetherIoughttogobacktoNewYorkorstayinLondon,wherethere’sbeenafaintcallforme。"Hesawthegirllisteningdevoutly,withthatflatteredlookwhichaseriousgirlcannotkeepoutofherfacewhenamanconfidesaseriousmattertoher。"Imightsafelypromisetobeolder,butcouldIkeepmywordifIpromisedtobegraver?
That’sthepoint。IfIwereaCalvinistImightholdfastbyfaith,andfightitoutwiththat;orifIwereaCatholicIcouldcastmyselfuponthestrengthoftheChurch,andtriumphinspiteoftemperament。Thenitwouldn’tmatterwhetherIwasgraveorgay;itmightbeevenbetterifI
weregay。But,"hewenton,intermswhich,doubtless,werenotthenforthefirsttimeformulatedinhismind,"beingmerelytheleaderofasortofforlornhopeintheDivineGoodness,perhapsIhavenorighttobesocheerful。"
ThenoteofasadironyinhiswordsappealedtosuchindignationforhiminEllenassheneverfeltforherself。Butsheonlysaid,"Idon’tbelievePoppacouldtakethatinthewrongwayifyoutoldhim。"
Breckonstared。"Yesyourfather!Whatwouldhesay?"
"Ican’ttellyou。ButI’msurehewouldknowwhatyoumeant。"
"Andyou,"hepursued,"whatshouldYOUsay?"
"I?Ineverthoughtaboutsuchathing。Youmustn’taskme,ifyou’reserious;andifyou’renot——"
"ButIam;Iamdeeplyserious。Iwouldlike,toknowhowthecasestrikesyou。Ishallbesogratefulifyouwilltellme。"
"I’msorryIcan’t,Mr。Breckon。Whydon’tyouaskpoppa?"
"No,IseenowIsha’n’tbeable。Ifeeltoomuch,aftertellingyou,asifIhadbeenposing。Therealityhasgoneoutofitall。AndI’mashamed。"
"Youmustn’tbe,"shesaid,quietly;andsheadded,"Isupposeitwouldbelikeakindofdefeatifyoudidn’tgoback?"
"Ishouldn’tcarefortheappearanceofdefeat,"hesaid,courageously。
"Thegreatquestionis,whethersomebodyelsewouldn’tbeofmoreuseinmyplace。"
"Nobodycouldbe,"saidshe,inasortofimpassionedabsence,andthencomingtoherself,"Imean,theywouldn’tthinkso,Idon’tbelieve。"
"Thenyouadvise——"
"No,no!Ican’t;Idon’t。I’mnotfittohaveanopinionaboutsuchathing;itwouldbecrazy。Butpoppa——"
Theywereatthedoorofthegangway,andsheslippedwithinandlefthim。Hisnervestingled,andtherewasaglowinhisbreast。Itwassweettohavesurprisedthatpraisefromher,thoughhecouldnothavesaidwhyheshouldvaluethepraiseoragirlofheropenignoranceandinexperienceineverythingthatwouldhavequalifiedhertojudgehim。
Buthefoundhimselfvaluingitsupremely,andwonderinglywishingtobeworthyofit。
XVII。
Ellendiscoveredherfatherwithabookinadistantcornerofthedining-saloon,whichhepreferredtothedeckorthelibraryforhisreading,insuchintervalsasthestewards,layingandcleaningthetables,lefthimunmolestedinit。Sheadvancedprecipitatelyuponhim,andstoodbeforehiminanexcitementwhich,thoughheliftedhisdazedeyestoitfromhispage,hewasnotentirelyawareoftillafterwards。
Thenherealizedthathercheekswerefullofcolor,andhereyesoflight,andthatshepantedasifshehadbeenrunningwhenshespoke。
"Poppa,"shesaid,"thereissomethingthatMr。Breckonwantstospeaktoyou——toaskyouabout。Hehasaskedme,butIwantyoutoseehim,forI
thinkhehadbettertellyouhimself。"
Whilehestillstaredathershewasassuddenlygoneasshehadcome,andheremainedwithhisbook,whichthemeaninghadassuddenlyleft。
Therewasnomeaninginherwords,exceptasheputitintothem,andafterhehadgotitinhestruggledwithitinasortofperfunctoryincredulity。Itwasnotimpossible;itchieflyseemedsobecauseitseemedtoogoodtobetrue;andthemorehepondereditthemorepossible,ifnotprobable,itbecame。Hecouldnotbesafewithittillhehadsubmittedittohiswife;andhewenttoherwhilehewassureofrepeatingEllen’swordswithoutvaryingfromthemasyllable。
Tohisastonishment,Mrs。Kentonwasinstantlyconvinced。"Why,ofcourse,"shesaid,"itcan’tpossiblymeananythingelse。Whyshoulditbesoverysurprising?Thetimehasn’tbeenverylong,butthey’vebeentogetheralmosteverymoment;andhewastakenwithherfromtheverybeginning——Icouldseethat。Putonyourothercoat,"shesaid,asshedustedthecollarofthecoatthejudgewaswearing。"He’llbelookingyouup,atonce。Ican’tsaythatit’sunexpected,"andsheclaimedaprescienceinthematterwhichallherwordshadhithertodenied。
Kentondidnotnoticeherinconsistency。"IfitwerenotsoexactlywhatIwished,"hesaid,"Idon’tknowthatIshouldbesurprisedatitmyself。Sarah,ifIhadbeentryingtoimagineanyoneforEllen,I
couldn’thavedreamedofapersonbettersuitedtoherthanthisyoungman。He’severythingthatIcouldwishhimtobe。I’veseenthepleasureandcomfortshetookinhiswayfromthefirstmoment。Heseemedtomakeherforget——DoyousupposeshehasforgottenthatmiserablewretchDoyouthink——"
"Ifshehadn’t,couldshebelettinghimcometospeaktoyou?Idon’tbelievesheeverreallycaredforBittridge——ornotafterhebeganflirtingwithMrs。Uphill。"ShehadnoshrinkingfromthenameswhichKentonavoidedwithdisgust。"TheonlyquestionforyouistoconsiderwhatyoushallsaytoMr。Breckon。"
"Saytohim?Why,ofcourse,ifEllenhasmadeuphermind,there’sonlyonethingIcansay。"
"Indeedthereis!HeoughttoknowallaboutthatdisgustingBittridgebusiness,andyouhavegottotellhim。"
"Sarah,Icouldn’t。Itistoohumiliating。Howwoulditdotoreferhimto——Youcouldmanagethatpartsomuchbetter。Idon’tseehowIcouldkeepitfromseeminganindelicatebetrayalofthepoorchild——"
"Perhapsshe’stoldhimherself,"Mrs。Kentonprovisionallysuggested。
Thejudgeeagerlycaughtatthenotion。"Doyouthinkso?Itwouldbelikeher!Ellenwouldwishhimtoknoweverything。"
Hestopped,andhiswifecouldseethathewastremblingwithexcitement。
"Wemustfindout。IwillspeaktoEllen——"
"And——youdon’tthinkI’dbetterhavethetalkwithhimfirst?"
"Certainlynot!"
"Why,Rufus!Youwerenotgoingtolookhimup?"
"No,"hehesitated;butshecouldseethatsomesuchthinghadbeenonhismind。
"Surely,"shesaid,"youmustbecrazy!"Butshehadnotthehearttoblighthisjoywithsarcasm,andperhapsnosarcasmwouldhaveblightedit。
"ImerelywonderedwhatIhadbettersayincasehespoketomebeforeyousawEllen——that’sall。Sarah!Icouldn’thavebelievedthatanythingcouldpleasemesomuch。ButitdoesseemasifitweretheassuranceofEllen’shappiness;andshehasdeservedit,poorchild!Ifevertherewasadutifulandlovingdaughter——atleastbeforethatwretchedaffair——shewasone。"
"Shehasbeenagoodgirl,"Mrs。Kentonstoicallyadmitted。
"Andtheyareverywellmatched。Ellenisacultivatedwoman。Henevercouldhavecausetoblushforher,eitherhermindorhermanners,inanycircleofsociety;shewoulddohimcreditunderanyandallcircumstances。IfitwereLottie——"
"Lottieisallright,"saidhermother,inresentmentofhispreference;
butshecouldnothelpsmilingatit。"Don’tyoubefoolishaboutEllen。
IapproveofMr。Breckonasmuchasyoudo。Butit’sherprettinessandsweetnessthat’stakenhisfancy,andnotherwisdom,ifshe’sgothim。"
"Ifshe’sgothim?"
"Well,youknowwhatImean。I’mnotsayingshehasn’t。Dearknows,I
don’twantto!Ifeeljustasyoudoaboutit。Ithinkit’sthegreatestpieceofgoodfortune,comingontopofallourtroublewithher。Icouldn’thaveimaginedsuchathing。"
Hewasinstantlyappeased。"AreyougoingtospeakwithEllen"heradiantlyinquired。
"Iwillsee。There’snoespecialhurry,isthere?"
"Only,ifheshouldhappentomeetme——"
"Youcankeepoutofhisway,Ireckon。OrYoucanputhimoff,somehow。"
"Yes,"Kentonreturned,doubtfully。"Don’t,"headded,"betoobluntwithEllen。Youknowshedidn’tsayanythingexplicittome。"
"IthinkIwillknowhowtomanage,Mr。Kenton。"
"Yes,ofcourse,Sarah。I’mnotsayingthat。"
Breckondidnotapparentlytrytofindthejudgebeforelunch,andattablehedidnotseemespeciallydevotedtoElleninherfather’sjealouseyes。HejokedLottie,andexchangedthosepassagesorreparteewithherinwhichshedidnotmindusingabludgeonwhenshehadnotarapierathand;itisdoubtfulifshewasverysensibleofthedifference。Ellensatbyinpassivecontent,smilingnowandthen,andBoynecarriedonadignifiedconversationwithMr。Pogis,whomhehadaskedtolunchathistable,andwholistenedwithoneeartothevigorousretortsofLottieinhercombatwithBreckon。
Thejudgewitnesseditallwithagravedispleasure,moreandmorepainfullyapparenttohiswife。Shecouldseetheimpatience,thegatheringmisgiving,inhisface,andsheperceivedthatshemustnotletthiscometoconsciousdissatisfactionwithBreckon;sheknewherhusbandcapableofindignationwithtriflingwhichwouldcomplicatethesituation,ifitcametothat。ShedecidedtospeakwithEllenassoonaspossible,andshemeanttofollowhertoherstate-roomwhentheyleftthetable。Butfateassortedthepiecesinthegamedifferently。BoynewalkedovertotheplacewhereMissRasmithwassittingwithhermother;
LottieandMr。Pogiswentofftopractiseduetstogether,terrible,four——
handedtormentsunderwhichthepianopresentlyclamored;andEllenstoodforamomenttalkedtobyMr。Breckon,whochallengedherthenforawalkondeck,andwithwhomshewentawaysmiling。
Mrs。Kentonappealedwiththereflectionofthegirl’shappinessinherfacetothefrowningcensureinherhusband’s;butKentonspokefirst。
"Whatdoeshemean?"hedemanded,darkly。"Ifheismakingafoolofherhe’llfindthatthatgamecan’tbeplayedtwice,withimpunity。
Sarah,IbelieveIshouldchokehim。"
"Mr。Kenton!"shegasped,andshetrembledinfearofhim,evenwhileshekeptherselfwithdifficultyfromshakinghimforhisfolly。"Don’tsaysuchathing!Can’tyouseethattheywanttotalkitover?Ifhehasn’tspokentoyouit’sbecausehewantstoknowhowyoutookwhatshesaid。"Seeingtheeffectofthesearguments,shepursued:"Willyouneverhaveanysense?IwillspeaktoEllentheveryminuteIgetheralone,andyouhavejustgottowait。Don’tyousupposeit’shardforme,too?HaveIgotnothingtobear?"
Kentonwentsilentlybacktohisbook,whichhetookwithhimtothereading-room,wherefromtimetotimehiswifecametohimandreportedthatEllenandBreckonwerestillwalkingupanddowntogether,orthattheyweresittingdowntalking,orwereforward,lookingoverattheprow,orwerewatchingthedeck-passengersdancing。Herhusbandreceivedhersuccessiveadviceswithrelaxinginterest,andwhenshehadbroughtthelastshewasawarethattheaffairwasentirelyinherhandswithalltheresponsibility。AfterthegaypartingbetweenEllenandBreckon,whichtookplacelateintheafternoon,shesufferedanintervaltoelapsebeforeshefollowedthegirldowntoherstate-room。Shefoundherlyinginherberth,withshiningeyesandglad,redcheeks;shewassmilingtoherself。
"Thatisright,Ellen,"hermothersaid。"Youneedrestafteryourlongtramp。"
"I’mnottired。Weweresittingdownagooddeal。Ididn’tthinkhowlateitwas。I’meversomuchbetter。Where’sLottie?"
"OffsomewherewiththatyoungEnglishman,"saidMrs。Kenton,asifthatwereofnosortofconsequence。"Ellen,"sheadded,abruptly,tryingwithinatremuloussmiletohidehereagerness,"whatisthisthatMr。
Breckonwantstotalkwithyourfatherabout?"
"Mr。Breckon?Withpoppa?"
"Yes,certainly。YoutoldhimthismorningthatMr。Breckon——"
"Oh!Ohyes!"saidEllen,asifrecollectingsomethingthathadslippedhermind。"HewantspoppatoadvisehimwhethertogobacktohiscongregationinNewYorkornot。"
Mrs。Kentonsatinthecornerofthesofanextthedoor,lookingintothegirl’sfaceonthepillowasshelaywithherarmsunderherhead。Tearsofdefeatandshamecameintohereyes,andshecouldnotseethegirl’slightnonchalanceinadding:
"Buthehasn’tgotuphiscourageyet。Hethinkshe’llaskhimafterdinner。Hesayshedoesn’twantpoppatothinkhe’sposing。Idon’tknowwhathemeans。"
Mrs。Kentondidnotspeakatonce。Herbitterestmortificationwasnotforherself,butforthesimpleandtenderfather-soulwhichhadbeensotriedalready。Shedidnotknowhowhewouldbearit,thedisappointment,andthecruelhurttohispride。Butshewantedtofallonherkneesinthankfulnessthathehadbetrayedhimselfonlytoher。
Shestartedinsuddenalarmwiththethought。"Whereishenow——
Mr。Breckon?"
"He’sgonewithBoynedownintothebaggage-room。"
Mrs。Kentonsankbackinhercorner,awarenowthatshewouldnothavehadthestrengthtogotoherhusbandeventosavehimfromtheawfuldisgraceofgivinghimselfawaytoBreckon。"Andwasthatall?"shefaltered。
"All?"
"Thathewantedtospeaktoyourfatherabout?"
Shemustmakeirrefragablysure,forKenton’ssake,thatshewasnotmisunderstanding。
"Why,ofcourse!Whatelse?Why,momma!whatareyoucryingabout?"
"I’mnotcrying,child。Justsomefoolishnessofyourfather’s。Heunderstood——hethought——"Mrs。Kentonbegantolaughhysterically。"Butyouknowhowridiculousheis;andhesupposed——No,Iwon’ttellyou!"
Itwasnotnecessary。Thegirl’smind,perhapsbecauseitwasimbuedalreadywiththesubject,hadpossesseditselfofwhatfilledhermother’s。Shedroppedfromtheelbowonwhichshehadliftedherself,andturnedherfaceintothepillow,withalongwailofshame。
XVIII。
Mrs。Kenton’sdifficultiesinsettingherhusbandrightwereindefinitelyheightenedbythesuspicionthatthemostunsuspiciousofmenfellintoconcerningBreckon。DidBreckonsupposethatthemattercouldbeturnedoffinthatway?hestupidlydemanded;andwhenhewasextricatedfromthiserrorbyhiswife’srepresentationthatBreckonhadnotchangedatall,buthadnevertoldEllenthathewishedtospeakwithhimofanythingbuthisreturningtohissociety,Kentonstillcouldnotacceptthefact。HewouldhavecontendedthatatleasttheothermattermusthavebeeninBreckon’smind;andwhenhewasbeatenfromthisposition,andconvincedthatthemeaningtheyhadtakenfromEllen’swordshadneverbeeninanymindbuttheirown,hefellintohumiliationsoabjectthathecouldhideitonlybythehauteurwithwhichhecarriedhimselftowardsBreckonwhentheymetatdinner。Hewouldscarcelyspeaktotheyoungman;Ellendidnotcometothetable;LottieandBoyneandtheirfriendMr。PogiswerediningwiththeRasmiths,andMrs。Kentonhadtobe,asshefelt,cringinglykindtoBreckoninexplainingjustthesortoftemporaryheadachethatkepthereldestdaughteraway。Hewasmorethanordinarilysympatheticandpolite,buthewasmanifestlybewilderedbyKenton’sbehavior。HerefusedanhilariousinvitationfromMrs。
Rasmith,whenherosefromtable,tostopandhavehiscoffeewithheronhiswayoutofthesaloon。HisoldadorerexplainedthatshehadorderedasmallbottleofchampagneinhonorofitsbeingthenightbeforetheyweretogetintoBoulogne,andthatheoughttositdownandhelpherkeeptheyoungpeoplestraight。Julia,shebrokenlysyllabled,withthegaybeveragebubblingbackintoherthroat,wasnottheleastuse;shewasworsethanany。Juliadidnotlookit,inthedemureregardwhichshebentuponheramusingmother,andBreckonpersistedinrefusing。HesaidhethoughthemightsafelyleavethemtoBoyne,andMrs。Rasmithsaidintoherhandkerchief,"Ohyes!Boyne!"andpressedBoyne’ssleevewithherknobbedandjewelledfingers。
Itwasevidentwheremostofthesmallbottlehadgone,butBreckonwasnonethecheerfullerforthespectacleofMrs。Rasmith。Hecouldnothaveamoment’sdoubtastothesortofworkhehadbeendoinginNewYorkifshewereaneffectofit,andheturnedhismindfromthesadcertaintybacktothemoreimportantinquiryastowhatoffencehiswishtoadvisewithJudgeKentoncouldhaveconveyed。Ellenhadtoldhimintheafternoonthatshehadspokenwithherfatheraboutit,andshehadnotintimatedanydispleasureorreluctanceonhim;butapparentlyhehaddecidednottosufferhimselftobeapproached。
Itmightbeaswell。BreckonhadnotbeenabletoconvincehimselfthathisproposaltoconsultJudgeKentonwasnotapose。HehadflashesofowningthatitwascontemplatedmerelyasameansofingratiatinghimselfwithEllen。Now,ashefoundhiswayupanddownamongtheemptysteamer-chairs,hewasaware,atthebottomofhisheart,ofnotcaringintheleastforJudgeKenton’srepellentbearing,exceptasitpossibly,orimpossibly,reflectedsomemoodofhers。Hecouldnotmakeouthernotcomingtodinner;theheadachewasclearlyanexcuse;forsomereasonshedidnotwishtoseehim,heargued,withtheegotismofhiscondition。
Thelogicofhisconclusionwasstrengthenedatbreakfastbyhercontinuedabsence;andthistimeMrs。Kentonmadenoapologiesforher。
Thejudgewasashadelesssevere;orelseBreckondidnotputhimselfsomuchinthewaytobewithheldashehadthenightbefore。BoyneandLottiecarriedonasortofmutedscrap,unrebukedbytheirmother,whoseemedtoomuchdistractedinsometacittroubletomindthem。FromtimetotimeBreckonfoundhereyesdwellinguponhimwonderingly,entreatingly;shedroppedthem,ifshecaughthis,andcolored。
IntheafternoonitwasearlyevidentthattheywereapproachingBoulogne。Thehatchwasopenedandthesailorsbegangettingupthebaggageofthepassengerswhoweregoingtodisembark。Itseemedalongtimeforeverybodytillthesteamergotin;thosegoingashoresatontheirhand-baggageforanhourbeforethetugcameuptotake,themoff。
Mr。Pogiswasamongthem;hehadbegunintheforenoontomarktheapproachingseparationbetweenLottieandhimselfbyintervalsofunmistakablewithdrawal。Anothergirlmighthavecared,butLottiedidnotcare,forherfailuretogetariseoutofhimbyhermockinglyvaried"Oh,Isay!"and"Well,rather!"InthegrowthofhisdignifiedreserveMr。Pogiswasindifferenttojeers。Bywhatevertraditionofwhatwouldorwouldnotdohewascontrolledinrelinquishingheracquaintance,orwhetheritwasinobediencetosomeimperativeideal,orsomefearfuldomesticinfluencesubtlymakingitselffeltfromthecoastsofhisnativeisland,orsomefinedespairofequallingtheimaginedgrandeurofLottie’ssocialstateinTuskingumbyanythinghecouldshowherinEngland,itwascertainthathewasendingwithLottiethenandthere。AtthesametimehewascarefullydefininghimselffromtheRasmiths,withwhomhemustland。Hehadhisstate-roomthingsputatanappreciabledistance,wherehedidnotescapeafinalstabfromLottie。
"Oh,dogivemearoseoutofthat,"sheentreated,intravestiedimploring,ashestoodlookingatawitheredbouquetwhichthestewardhadbroughtupwithhisrugs。
"I’mtakin’ithome,"heexplained,coldly。
"AndIwanttotakearosebacktoNewYork。Iwanttogiveittoafriendofminethere。"
Mr。Pogishesitated。Thenheasked,"Aman?""Well,rather!"saidLottie。
Heanswerednothing,butlookeddefinitivelydownattheflowersinhishand。
"Oh,Isay!"Lottieexulted。
BoyneremainedfixedinfealtytotheRasmiths,withwhomBreckonwasalsotalkingasMrs。Kentoncameupwiththejudge。SheexplainedhowsorryherdaughterEllenwasatnotbeingabletosaygoodbye;shewasstillnotatallwell;andtheladiesreceivedherexcuseswithpolitepatience。Mrs。RasmithsaidshedidnotknowwhattheyshoulddowithoutBoyne,andMissRasmithputherarmacrosshisshouldersandpulledhimuptoher,andimplored,"Oh,givehimtome,Mrs。Kenton!"
Boynestoleanashamedlookathismother,andhisfathersaid,withanunbendingtoBreckonwhichmusthavebeentheeffectofsevereexpostulationfromMrs。Kenton,"IsupposeyouandtheladieswillgotoParistogether。"
"Why,no,"Breckonsaid,andheadded,withmountingconfusion,"I——IhadarrangedtokeepontoRotterdam。Iwasgoingtomentionit。"
"KeepontoRotterdam!"Mrs。Rasmith’seyesexpressedthegreatestastonishment。
"Why,ofcourse,mother!"saidherdaughter。"Don’tyouknow?Boynetoldus。"
Boyne,aftertheirparting,seizedthefirstchanceofassuringhismotherthathehadnottoldMissRasmiththat,forhehadnotknownit,andhewentsofarinhercondemnationtowonderhowshecouldsaysuchathing。Hismothersaiditwasnotverynice,andthensuggestedthatperhapsshehadhearditfromsomeoneelse,andthoughtitwashe。SheacquittedhimofcomplicitywithMissRasmithinforbearingtocontradicther;anditseemedtoherafittingtimetofindoutfromBoynewhatshehonestlycouldabouttherelationoftheRasmithstoMr。Breckon。Itwasverylittlebeyondtheirsupposition,whicheveryoneelsehadshared,thathewasgoingtolandwiththematBoulogne,andhemusthavechangedhismindverysuddenly。BoynehadnotheardtheRasmithsspeakofit。
MissRasmithneverspokeofMr。Breckonatall;butsheseemedtowanttotalkofEllen;shewasalwaysaskingabouther,andwhatwasthematterwithher,andhowlongshehadbeensick。
"Boyne,"saidhismother,withapang,"youdidn’ttellheranythingaboutEllen?"
"Momma!"saidtheboy,insuchevidentabhorrenceoftheideathatsherestedtranquilconcerningit。ShepaidlittleattentiontowhatBoynetoldherotherwiseoftheRasmiths。HerownhorizonweresolimitedthatshecouldnothavebroughthometoherselfwithinthemthatwanderinglifetheRasmithsledfromclimatetoclimateandsensationtosensation,withnostaysolongastheannuallymadeinNewYork,wheretheysometimespassedmonthsenoughtoestablishthemselvesingivingandtakingteainacircleofkindrednomads。SheconjecturedasignorantlyasBoynehimselfthattheywereveryrich,anditwouldnothaveenlightenedhertoknowthatthemotherwasthewidowofaCaliforniapolitician,whomshehadmarriedinthesortofmiddleperiodfollowinguponherlessmortuarysurvivalofMissRasmith’sfather,whosenamewasnotRasmith。
WhatMrs。KentondivinedwasthattheyhadwantedtogetBreckon,andthatsofarasconcernedherowninterestinhimtheyhadwantedtogethimawayfromEllen。Inherinnermostself-confidencesshedidnotpermitherselfthenotionthatEllenhadanyrighttohim;butstillitwasarelieftohavethemofftheship,andtohavehimleft。Ofallthewitnessesofthefact,shealonedidnotfinditawkward。Breckonhimselffounditveryawkward。HedidnotwishtobewiththeRasmiths,buthefoundituncomfortablenotbeingwiththem,underthecircumstances,andhefollowedthemashoreintinglingreveriesofexplanationandapology。HehadcertainlymeanttogetoffatBoulogne,andwhenhehadsuddenlyandtardilymadeuphismindtokeepontoRotterdam,hehadmeanttotellthemassoonashehadthelabelsonhisbaggagechanged。Hehadnotmeanttotellthemwhyhehadchangedhismind,andhedidnottellthemnowinthesetinglingreveries。Hedidnotownthereasoninhissecretthoughts,foritnolongerseemedareason;itnolongerseemedacause。HeknewwhattheRasmithswouldthink;buthecouldeasilymakethatrightwithhisconscience,atleast,bypartingwiththeKentonsatRotterdam,andleavingthemtofindtheirunconductedwaytoanypointtheychosebeyond。Heseparatedhimselfuncomfortablyfromthemwhenthetenderhadputoffwithherpassengersandtheshiphadgotunderwayagain,andwenttothesmoking-room,whilethejudgereturnedtohisbookandMrs。KentonabandonedLottietoherowndevices,andtookBoyneasideforherapparentlyfruitlessinquiries。
Theywerenotreallysofruitlessbutthatattheendofthemshecouldgowithdueauthoritytolookupherhusband。Shegentlytookhisbookfromhimandshutitup。"Now,Mr。Kenton,"shebegan,"ifyoudon’tgorightstraightandfindMr。Breckonandtalkwithhim,I——Idon’tknowwhatIwilldo。Youmusttalktohim——"
"AboutEllen?"thejudgefrowned。
"No,certainlynot。Talkwithhimaboutanythingthatinterestsyou。Bepleasanttohim。Can’tyouseethathe’sgoingontoRotterdamonouraccount?"
"ThenIwishhewasn’t。There’snouseinit。"
"Nomatter!It’spoliteinhim,andIwantyoutoshowhimthatyouappreciateit。"
"Nowseehere,Sarah,"saidthejudge,"ifyouwanthimshownthatweappreciatehispolitenesswhydon’tyoudoityourself?"
"I?Becauseitwouldlookasifyouwereafraidto。Itwouldlookasifwemeantsomethingbyit。"
"Well,Iamafraid;andthat’sjustwhatI’mafraidof。Ideclare,myheartcomesintomymouthwheneverIthinkwhatanescapewehad。I
thinkofitwheneverIlookathim,andIcouldn’ttalktohimwithouthavingthatinmymindallthetime。No,womencanmanagethosethingsbetter。Ifyoubelieveheisgoingalongonouraccount,soastohelpusseeHolland,andtokeepusfromgettingintoscrapes,you’retheonetomakeituptohim。Idon’tcarewhatyousaytoshowhimourgratitude。Ireckonwewillgetintoallsortsoftroubleifwe’relefttoourselves。Butifyouthinkhe’sstayedbecausehewantstobewithEllen,and——"
"Oh,Idon’tKNOWwhatIthink!Andthat’ssillyIcan’ttalktohim。
I’mafraidit’llseemasifwewantedtoflatterhim,andgoodnessknowswedon’twantto。Or,yes,wedo!I’dgiveanythingifitwastrue。
Rufus,doyousupposehedidstayonheraccount?My,oh,my!IfI
couldonlythinkso!Wouldn’titbethebestthingintheworldforthepoorchild,andforallofus?IneversawanybodythatIlikedsomuch。
Butit’stoogoodtobetrue。"
"He’sanicefellow,butIdon’tthinkhe’sanytoogoodforEllen。"
"I’mnotsayingheis。Thegreatthingisthathe’sgoodenough,andgraciousknowswhatwillhappenifshemeetssomeotherworthlessfellow,andgetsbefooledwithhim!Orifshedoesn’ttakeafancytosomeone,andgoesbacktoTuskingumwithoutseeinganyoneelseshelikes,thereisthatawfulwretch,andwhenshehearswhatDickdidtohim——she’sjustwrong-headedenoughtotakeupwithhimagaintomakeamendstohim。Oh,dearoh,dear!IknowLottiewillletitouttoheryet!"
Thejudgebeganthreateningly,"YoutellLottiefromme——"
"What?"saidthegirlherself,whohadseenherfatherandmothertalkingtogetherinaremotecornerofthemusic-roomandhadstolenlight-footedlyuponthemjustatthismoment。
"Lottie,child,"saidhermother,undismayedatLottie’sarrivalinherlargeranxiety,"IwishyouwouldtryandbeagreeabletoMr。Breckon。
Nowthathe’sgoingonwithustoHolland,Idon’twanthimtothinkwe’reavoidinghim。"
"Why?"
"Oh,because。"
"BecauseyouwanttogethimforEllen?"
"Don’tbeimpudent,"saidherfather。"Youdoasyourmotherbidsyou。"
"BeagreeabletothatoldBreckon?IthinkIseemyself!I’dsoonerread!I’mgoingtogetabooknow。"Sheleftthemasabruptlyasshehadcomeuponthem,andranacrosstothebookcase,wheresheremainedtwosteppingandpeeringthroughtheglassdoorsattheliteraturewithin,inunaccustomedquestionconcerningit。
"She’sacase,"saidthejudge,lookingathernotonlywithrelenting,butwiththeprideinhersufficiencyforalltheexigenciesoflifewhichhecouldnotfeelinEllen。"Shecantakecareofherself。"
"Ohyes,"Mrs。Kentonsadlyassented,Idon’tthinkanybodywillevermakeafoolofLottie。"
"It’sagreatdealmorelikelytobetheotherway,"herfathersuggested。
"IthinkLottieisconscientious,"Mrs。Kentonprotested。"Shewouldn’treallyfoolwithaman。"
"No,she’sagoodgirl,"thejudgeowned。
"It’sgirlslikeEllenwhomakethetroubleandthecare。Theyaretoogood,andyouhavetothinksomeevilinthisworld。Well!"Sheroseandgaveherhusbandbackhisbook。
"DoyouknowwhereBoyneis?"
"No。DoyouwanthimtobepleasanttoMr。Breckon?"
"Somebodyhasgotto。ButitwouldberidiculousifnobodybutBoynewas。"
ShedidnotfindBoyne,afternoveryexhaustivesearch,andtheboywaslefttoformhisbearingtowardsBreckononthebehavioroftherestofhisfamily。Asthiscontinuedhelplesslyconstrainedbothinhisfatherandmother,andvoluntarilyrepellentinLottie,BoynedecideduponablendofconductwhichleftBreckoningreaterandgreaterdoubtofhiswisdominkeepingontoRotterdam。Therewasnogoodreasonwhichhewouldhavebeenwillingtogivehimself,fromthebeginning。Ithadbeenanimpulse,suddenlycominguponhiminthebaggage-roomwherehehadgonetogetsomethingoutofhistrunk,andwherehehaddecidedtohavethelabelofhisbaggagechangedfromtheoriginaldestinationatBoulognetothefinalportofthesteamer’sarrival。Whenthiswasoncedonehewassorry,buthewasashamedtohavethelabelchangedback。
ThemostassignablemotiveforhisactwashisreluctancetogoontoPariswiththeRasmiths,orratherwithMrs。Rasmith;forwithherdaughter,whowasnotabadfellow,onecouldalwaysmanage。HewasquiteawareofbeingsafelyinhisownhandsagainstanydesignofMrs。
Rasmith’s,buthermachinationshumiliatedhimforher;hehatedtoseehergoingthroughhermanoeuvres,andhecouldnothelpgrievingforherfailures,withasortofimpersonalsympathy,allthemorebecausehedislikedheraslittleasherespectedher。
Themotivewhichhedidnotassigntohimselfwasthatwhichprobablyprevailedwithhim,thoughinthelastanalysisitwasasselfish,nodoubt,astheoneheacknowledged。EllenKentonstillpiquedhiscuriosity,stilltouchedhiscompassion。Hehadsofarfromexhaustedhiswishorhispowertobefriendher,tohelpher,thathehadstillawhollyunsatisfiedlongingtoconsoleher,especiallywhenshedroopedintothatlistlessattitudeshewasapttotake,withherfacefallenandherhandsletlie,thebackofoneinthepalmoftheother,inherlap。
Itwaspossiblythevisionofthisfollowinghimtothebaggage-room,whenhewenttoopenhistrunk,thatasmuchasanythingdecidedhimtohavethelabelchangedonhisbaggage,buthedidnotownitthen,andstilllessdidheownitnow,whenhefoundhimselfquiteonhisownhandsforhispains。
HefeltthatforsomereasontheKentonswereallavoidinghim。Ellen,indeed,didnottakepart,againsthim,unlessnegatively,forshehadappearedneitheratlunchnoratdinnerasthevesselkeptonitswayafterleavingBoulogne;andwhenheventuredtoaskforherMrs。Kentonansweredwithembarrassmentthatshewasnotfeelingverywell。Heaskedforheratlunch,butnotatdinner,andwhenhehadfinishedthatmealhewentonthepromenade-deck,andwalkedforlornlyupanddown,feelingthathehadbeenafool。
Mrs。Kentonwentbelowtoherdaughter’sroom,andfoundEllenthereonthesofa,withherbookshutonherthumbattheplacewherethetwilighthadfailedher。
"Ellen,dear,"hermothersaid,"aren’tyoufeelingwell?"
"Yes,I’mwellenough,"saidthegirl,sensibleofaleadinginthequestion。"Why?"
"Oh,nothing。Only——onlyIcan’tmakeyourfatherbehavenaturallywithMr。Breckon。He’sgothismindsofullofthatmistakewebothcamesonearmakingthathecan’tthinkofanythingelse。He’ssosheepishaboutitthathecanhardlyspeaktohimorevenlookathim;andImustconfessthatIdon’tdomuchbetter。YouknowIdon’tliketoputmyselfforwardwhereyourfatheris,andifIdid,reallyIdon’tbelieveI
couldmakeupmymouthtosayanything。IdidwantLottietobenicetohim,butLottiedislikeshimso!AndevenBoyne——well,itwouldn’tmatteraboutBoyne,ifhedidn’tseemtobecarryingoutasortoffamilyplan——Boynebarelyanswershimwhenhespeakstohim。Idon’tknowwhathecanthink。"Ellenwasagoodlistener,andMrs。Kenton,havingbegun,didnotstoptillshehademptiedthebag。"Ijustknowthathedidn’tgetoffatBoulognebecausehewantedtostayonwithus,andthoughthecouldbeusefultousatTheHague,andeverywhere;andherewe’reactingasungratefully!Why,we’renotevencommonlypolitetohim,andIknowhefeelsit。Iknowthathe’shurt。"
Ellenroseandstoodbeforetheglass,intowhichheaskedofhermother’sreflectedface,whilesheknottedafallencoilofhairintoitsplace,"Whereishe?"
"Idon’tknow。Hewentondecksomewhere。"
Ellenputonherhatandpinnedit,andputonherjacketandbuttonedit。Thenshestartedtowardsthedoor。Hermothermadewayforher,faltering,"Whatareyougoingtodo,Ellen?"
"Iamgoingtodoright。"
"Don’t-catchcold!"hermothercalledafterherfigurevanishingdownthecorridor,butthewarningcouchedinthesetermshadreallynoreferencetotheweather。
Thegirl’simpulsewasoneofthoseeffectsoftheweakwillinherwhichwereapttoleavehershortofthefulfilmentofapurpose。Itcarriedherasherasthepromenade,whichshefoundempty,andshewentandleanedupontherail,andlookedoutoverthesorrowfulNorthSea,whichwaswashingdarklyawaytowardswherethegloomysunsethadbeen。
Stepsfromtheothersideoftheshipapproached,hesitatedtowardsher,andthenarrestedthemselves。Shelookedround。
"Why,MissKenton!"saidBreckon,stupidly。
"Thesunsetisover,isn’tit?"sheanswered。
"Thetwilightisn’t。"Breckonstopped;thenheasked,"Wouldn’tyouliketotakealittlewalk?"
"Yes,"sheanswered,andsmiledfullyuponhim。Hehadneverknownbeforehowradiantasmileshelead。
"Betterhavemyarm。It’sgettingratherdark。"
"Well。"Sheputherhandonhisarmandhefeltittremblethere,whileshepalpitated,"WeareallsogladyoucouldgoontoRotterdam。Mymotherwantedmetotellyou。"
"Oh,don’tspeakofthat,"saidBreckon,notveryappositely。Presentlyheforcedalaugh,inordertoadd,withlightness,"IwasafraidperhapsIhadgivenyouallsomereasontoregretit!"
Shesaid,"Iwasafraidyouwouldthinkthat——ormommawas——andI
couldn’tbeartohaveyou。"
"Well,then,Iwon’t。"
XIX。
Breckonhadansweredwithgayety,buthishappinesswassomethingbeyondgayety。HehadreallyfelttheexclusionfromtheKentonsinwhichhehadpassedtheday,andhehadfeltitthemorepainfullybecausehelikedthemall。ItmaybeownedthathelikedEllenbestfromthebeginning,andnowhelikedherbetterthanever,butevenintheday’sexilehehadnotceasedtolikeeachofthem。Theywere,intheirfamilyaffection,aslovableasthatsortofselfishnesscanmakepeople。Theywereveryunitedandgoodtooneanother。Lottieherself,exceptinhermostluridmoments,wasgoodtoherbrotherandsister,andalmostinvariablykindtoherparents。Shewouldnot,Breckonsaw,havebrookedmuchmeddlingwithherflirtationsfromthem,butastheydidnotoffertomeddle,shehadnooccasiontogrumbleonthatscore。ShegrumbledwhentheyaskedhertodothingsforEllen,butshedidthem,andthoughsheneverdidthemwithoutgrumbling,shesometimesdidthemwithoutbeingasked。ShewasreallyverywatchfulofEllenwhenitwouldleasthavebeenexpected,andsometimesshewassweet。SheneverwassweetwithBoyne,butshewasoftenhisfriend,thoughthisdidnotkeepherfromturninguponhimatthefirstchancetogivehimalittledig,oralargeone,forthatmatter。AsforBoyne,hewasamassofhelplesssweetness,thoughhedidnotknowit,andsometimestookhimselfforanicebergwhenhewasmerelyanice-creamofheroicmould。HewasashelplesslysweetwithLottieaswithanyone,andifhesufferedkeenlyfromhertreacheries,andseizedeveryoccasiontorepaytheminkind,itwasclearlyamatterofconsciencewithhim,andalwaysforthegood。
Theirfatherandmothertreatedtheirsquabblesverywisely,Breckonthought。Theyignoredthemasmuchaspossible,andtheyrecognizedthemwithoutattemptingtodothatjusticebetweenthemwhichwouldhaverankledinboththeirbreasts。
Toaspectatorwhohadbeencriticalatfirst,Mr。andMrs。KentonseemedanexemplaryfatherandmotherwithEllenaswellaswiththeirotherchildren。Itiseasytobeexemplarywithasickgirl,buttheyincreasinglyaffectedBreckonasexemplarywithEllen。Hefanciedthattheyacteduponeachotherbeneficiallytowardsher。Atfirsthehadforebodedsometiresomeboastingfromthefather’stenderness,andsomeweakindulgenceofthedaughter’swhimsfromhermother;buttherewaseitherneveranygroundforthis,orelseMrs。Kenton,inkeepingherhusbandfromboasting,hadbeenobligedinmereconsistencytosetaguarduponherownfondness。
Itwasnotthat。Ellen,hewasmoreandmoredecided,wouldhaveabusedtheweaknessofeither;iftherewasanythingmoreangelicthanherpatience,itwasherwishtobeacomforttothem,and,betweenthecapricesofherinvalidism,tobeaservice。ItwaspathetictoseeherrememberingtodothingsforthemwhichBoyneandLottiehadforgotten,orplainlyshirkeddoing,andtokeepthefactoutofsight。Shereallykeptitoutofsightwiththem,andifshedidnothideitfromsocloseanobserverasBreckon,thatwasmorehisfaultthanhers。Whenherfatherfirstlaunchedoutinherpraise,orthepraiseofherreading,theyoungmanhaddreadedarusticprig;yetshehadneverbeenaprig,butsimplygladofwhatbookshehadknown,andmeeklysubmissivetohisknowledgeifnothistaste。Heownedthatshehadarighttohertaste,whichhefoundalmostalwaysgood,andaccountedforasinstinctiveintheabsenceofanimaginablecultureinherimaginableambient。Sofarashehadglimpsesofthis,hefounditsodifferentfromanythinghehadknownthatthemodestadequacyofMrs。KentoninthepoliticalexperiencesofmodernEurope,aswellastheclearjudgmentsofKentonhimselfinmatterssometimesbeyondBreekonhimself,mystifiedhimnolessthanEllen’staste。
Evenwiththegrowthofhisrespectfortheirintelligenceandhisloveoftheirkindliness,hehadnotbeenabletokeepacertainpatronagefrommingling,anditwasnottilltheyevincednotonlyentireability,butanapparentwishtogetonwithouthisapproval,withouthisacquaintanceeven,thathehadconceivedajustsenseofthem。Thelikeisapttohappenwiththebestofus,whenwearealsothefinest,andBreckonwasnotsingularincomingtoadueconsciousnessofsomethingvaluableonlyinthehourofitsloss。Hedidnotknowthatthelosswasonlyapparent。Heknewthathehadmadeadistinctsacrificeforthesepeople,andthat,whenhehadpreparedhimselftobefriendthemlittleshortofself-devotion,theyshowedthemselvesindifferent,andalmostrepellent。Intherevulsionoffeeling,whenEllengavehimhermother’smessage,andfranklyofferedhimreparationonbehalfofherwholefamily,hemayhaveoverdonehisgratitude,buthedidnotoverdoittoherperception。TheywalkedupanddownthepromenadeoftheAmstel,inthewateryNorthSeamoon,whilebellsafterbellsnotedthehourunheeded,andwhentheypartedforthenightitwaswithaninvoluntarypressureofhands,fromwhichshesuddenlypulledhers,andrandownthecorridorofherstate-roomandLottie’s。
Hestoodwatchingthenarrowspaceinwhichshehadvanished,andthinkinghowgentleshewas,andhowshehadcontrivedsomehowtomakehimfeelthatnowitwasshewhohadbeenconsolinghim,andtryingtointeresthimandamusehim。Hehadnotrealizedthatbefore;hehadbeenusedtointerestingandamusingher,buthecouldnotresentit;hecouldnotresenttheimplicationofsuperiority,ifsuchathingwerepossible,whichherkindnessconveyed。ThequestionwithBreckonwaswhethershehadwalkedwithhimsolongbecauseshewished,inthehour,tomakeupasfullyaspossiblefortheday’sneglect,orbecauseshehadlikedtowalkupanddownwithhim。Itwasaquestionhefoundkeepingitselfpoignantly,yetpleasantly,inhismind,afterhehadgotintohisberthunderthesolidlyslumberousBoyne,andincliningnowtoonesolutionandnowtotheother,withadelicateoscillationthatwascharming。
TheAmsteltookhertimetogetintoRotterdam,andwhenherpassengershadgoneashorethenextforenoonthetrainthatcarriedBreckontoTheHagueinthesamecompartmentwiththeKentonswasinnogreaterhurry。
ItarrivedwithadeliberationwhichkeptitfromcarryingthemontoAmsterdambeforetheyknewit,andMrs。KentonhadtimetoplacesuchpartsofthewarsintheRiseoftheDutchRepublicasshecouldattachtothenamesofthestationsandthegeneralfeaturesofthelandscape。
Boynewasoccupiedwithimprovementsforthewindmillsandthecanal-
boats,whichdidnotseemtohimofthequalityoftheMichiganaerometers,orthecraftwithwhichhewasfamiliarontheHudsonRiverandonthecanalthatpassedthroughTuskingum。Lottie,withrespecttothecanals,offeredthefrankobservationthattheysmelt,andinrecognizingafactwhichtravelalmostuniversallyignoresinHolland,shewatchedherchanceofpoppingupthewindowbetweenherselfandBoyne,whichBoyneputdownwithmountingrage。Theagriculturewhichtriumphedeverywhereonthelittlehalf——acreplotsliftedfifteeninchesabovethewatersoftheenvironingditches,andtheblackandwhitecattleeverywhereattestingtheimmemorialDutchidealofacow,werewhatatfirstoccupiedKenton,andhewastardilywonfromthemtothequestionoffightingoveracountrylikethat。Itwasaconcessiontohiswife’simpassionedinterestintheoverthrowoftheSpaniardsinalandscapewhichhadevidentlynotchangedsince。ShesaiditwashardtorealizethatHollandwasnotstillarepublic,andshewasnotverypatientwithBreckon’sdefenceofthemonarchyonthegroundthattheyoungQueenwasaveryprettygirl。
"Andsheisonlysixteen,"Boyneurged。
"Thensheistwoyearstoooldforyou,"saidLottie。
"Nosuchthing!"Boyneretorted。"IwasfifteeninJune。"
"Dearme!Ishouldneverhavethoughtit,"saidhissister。
Ellenseemedhardlytolookoutofthewindowatanythingdirectly,butwhenherfatherbadeherseethisthingandthat,itseemedthatshehadseenitalready。Shesaidatlast,withaquietsigh,"Ineverwanttogoaway。"
第5章