butunabletoreachtheBeautiful，unlessheldupbysomebody（ETAYE）。Itissaidthat，inaspleneticmoment，hisSkeletonofanApollo[SQUELETTED’APOLLON，M。deVoltaire，whoisleanexceedingly]exclaimedonce，sometimeago，’Whenisit，then，thathewillhavedonesendingmehisdirtylinentowash？’
"TheKingisofasharpmockingtonguewithal；prickingintowhoeverdispleaseshim；oftencarelessofpolicyinthat。
UnderstandsnothingofFinance，orstilllessofTrade；
alwayslookingdirecttowardsmoremoney，whichhelovesmuch；
incapableofsowing[assomeofUSdo！]foradistantharvest。
Treats，almostalltheworldasslaves。Allhissubjectsareheldinhardshackles。Rigorousfortheleastshortcoming，wherehisinterestishurt:——neverpardonsanyfaultwhichtendstoinexactitudeintheMilitaryService。Spandauveryfull，"——thoughI
didnotmyselfcount。"Keepsinhispaynobodybutthoseusefultohim，andcapableofdoingemploymentswell[TRUE，ALWAYS]；andtheinstanthehasnomoreneedofthem，dismissingthemwithnothing[FALSE，GENERALLY]。TheSubsidiesimposedonhissubjectsareheavy；inconstantproportiontotheirFeudalProperties，andtheirLeasesofDomains（CONTRATSETBAUX）；and，whatisdreadful，areexactedwiththesamerigorifyourPropertygetsintodebt，"——noremissionbytheirongripofthisKinginthenameoftheState！
Sell，ifyoucanfindaPurchaser；orgetconfiscatedaltogether；
thatisyouronlyremedy。SurelyatyrantofaKing。
"PeoplewhogetnearesthimwilltellyouthathisPolitenessisnotnatural，butaremnantofoldhabit，whenhehadneedofeverybody，againstthepersecutionsofhisFather。HerespectshisMother；theonlyFemaleforwhomhehasasortofattention。
HeesteemshisWife，andcannotendureher；hasbeenmarriednineteenyears，andhasnotyetaddressedonewordtoher[howtrue！]。ItwasbutafewdaysagoshehandedhimaLetter，petitioningsomethingsofwhichshehadthemostpressingwant。
HetooktheLetter，withthatsmiling，politeandgraciousairwhichheassumesatpleasure；andwithoutbreakingtheseal，toretheLetterupbeforeherface，madeheraprofoundbow，andturnedhisbackonher。"WasthereeversuchaPlutovarnishedintoLiteraryRose—pink？VeryproperMajestyfortheTartarusthathereis……"TheQueen—Mother，"continuesourSmallDevil，"isagoodfatwoman，wholivesandmovesinherownway（RONDEMENT）。Shehasl6，000poundsayearforkeepingupherHouse。Itissaidshehoards。FourdaysintheweekshehasApartment[RoyalSoiree]；
towhichyoucannotgowithoutexpressinvitation。Thereissupper—
tableoftwenty—fourcovers；onlyeightdishes，servedinashabbymanner（INDECEMMENT）bysixlittlescoundrelsofPages。MenandwomenoftheCountry[shiveringNatives，cheeringtheirdullabode]
goandeatthere。StewardRoyalsendstheinvitations。Ateleven，everybodyhaswithdrawn。Otherdays，thisQueeneatsbyherself。
StewardessRoyalandthreeMaidsofHonorhavetheirseparatetable；twodishesthewhole。Sheisshabbilylodged[inmyopinion]，whenatthePalace。HerMonbijou，whichisclosetoBerlin[nowwellwithinit]，wouldbeprettyenough，foraprivateperson。
"TheQueenRegnantisthebestwomanintheworld。Alltheyear[NOTQUITE]shedinesalone。HasApartmentonThursdays；
everybodygoneatnineo’clock。Hermorselsarecutforher，herstepsarecounted，andherwordsaredictated；sheismiserable，anddoeswhatshecantohideit"——accordingtoourSmallDevil。
"Shehasscarcelythenecessariesoflifeallowedher，"——spendsregularlytwo—thirdsofherincomeincharitableobjects；
translatesFrench—CalvinistDevotionalWorks，forbenefitoftheGermanmind；andcomplainstonoSmallDevil，ofneversosympathizingnature。"AtCourtsheislodgedonthesecondfloor[scandalous]。SchonhausenherCountryHouse，withtheexceptionoftheGardenwhichisprettyenough，——ourShopkeepersoftheRueSt。
Honorewouldsniffatsuchalodging。
"PrincessAmeliaisratheramiable[thankyoufornothing，SmallDevil]；oftenoutoftemperbecause——thisissoshockingaplaceforLadies，especiallyformaidenLadies。LiveswithherMother；
specialincomeverysmall；——CoadjutressofQuedlinburg；willbeactualAbbess"inayearortwo。[11thApril，1756:Preuss，xxvii。
p。xxxiv（ofPREFACE）。]
"EldestPrince，Heir—Apparent，"——donotspeakofhim，SmallDevil，foryouaremisinformedineveryfeatureandparticular:——enough，"heisfac—simileofhisBrother。Hehasonly18，000poundsayear，forself，Wife，HouseholdandChildren[two，bothBoys]；——andissaid[falsely]tohoard，andtofollowTrade，extensiveTradewithhisBrother’sWoods。
"PrinceHenri，whoisjustgoingtobemarried，"——thankyou，Demon，forremindingusofthat。BrideisWilhelmina，PrincessofHessen—
Cassel。Marriage，25thJune，1752；——didnotprove，intheend，veryhappy。Asmallcontemporaryevent；whichwouldconcernVoltaireandothersthatconcernus。Threemonthsago，April14th，1752，theBerlinPowder—Magazineflewaloftwithhorriblecrash；[In
Helden—Geschichte（iii。531）thedetails。]——andwouldbeaudibletoVoltaire，inthishisSecondAct。Events，audibleornot，nevercease。
"PrinceHenri，"inDemon’sopinion，"istheamiablestoftheHouse。
Heispolite，generous，andlovesgoodcompany。Has12，000poundsayearlefthimbyPapa。"Notenough，asitproved。"If，onthisMarriage，hisBrother，whodetestshim[witnessReinsbergandotherevidences，nowandonward]，giveshimnothing，hewon’tbewelloff。TheyarefurnishingaHouseforhim，wherehewilllodgeafterwedding。Isreportedtobe——POTZDAMISTE[saysthescandalousSmallDevil，whomwearewearyofcontradicting]，——Potsdamite，incertainrespects。PoorPrincess，whatadestinyforyou！
"PrinceFerdinand，littlescrapingofacreature（PETITCHAFOUIN），crapuloustoexcess，niggardlyintheextreme，whomeverybodyavoids，"——muchmorewhosePortrait，byaMagic—lanternofthiskind:whichletushastilyshut，andflingintothecellar！——
"LittleFerdinand，besideshis15，000poundsayear，Papa’sbequest，getsconsiderablesumsgivenhim。HaslodgingintheKing’sHouse；goesshiftingandvisitingabout，whereverhecanlivegratis；andstrivesallhecantoamassmoney。Hastobeinbootsanduniformeverythreedays。Threemonthsoftheyearpracticallywithhisregiment:buttheshiftshehasforavoidingexpenseareastonishing。"……
Whatanilluminative"Idea"aretheWalpole—SelwynCirclespickingupfortheirmoney！——
ChapterXI。
THIRDACTANDCATASTROPHEOFTHEVOLTAIREVISIT。
MeantimetherehasafineControversyrisen，ofmathematical，philosophicalandatlengthofverymiscellaneousnature，concerningthatKonig—MaupertuisdissentienceontheLAWOFTHRIFT。
WonderfulControversy，muchoccupyingtheso—calledPhilosophicorScientificworld；especiallytheidlerpopulationthatinhabitthere。UponthisitemoftheInfinitelyLittle，——whichhasinourtimesunkintoNothing—at—all，andbutforVoltaire，andtheaccidentofhislivingnearit，wouldbeforgottenaltogether，——wemustnotenterintodetails；butafewwordstorenderVoltaire’sshareinitintelligiblewillbe，inthehighestdegree，necessary。
Here，inbriefform，roughandready，arethesuccessivestagesoftheBusiness；theoriginandfirststageofwhichhavebeenknowntousforsometimepast:——
"SEPTEMBER，1750，Konig，hiswell—meantvisittoBerlinprovingsofutile，hadleftMaupertuisinthehumorwesaw；——pirouettingroundhisApartment，intempestsofrageatsuchcontradictionofsinnersonhissublimeLawofThrift；andfulminatingpermissiontoKonig:
’NotimetoreadyourPaperofContradictions；publishitinLeipzig，inJericho；anywhereintheEarth，inHeaven，intheOtherPlace，whereyouhavetheopportunity！’Konig，returningontheseterms，hadnothingforitbuttopublishhisPaper；anddidpublishit，intheLeipzigActaEruditorumforMarch，1751。Thereitstands，legibletothisday:andifanyofthehumanspeciesshouldagainthinkofreadingit，Ibelieveitwillbefoundareasonable，solidanddecisivePaper；ofsteadfast，openlyarticulate，bynomeansinsolent，tone；considerablymodifyingMaupertuis’sLawofThrift，orMinimumofAction；——fataltotheclaimofitsbeinga’SublimeDiscovery，’orindeed，sofarasTRUE，anydiscoveryatall。[InActaEruditorum（Lipsiae，1751）:"DeuniversaliPrincipioAEquilibriietMotus。"BynomeansunciviltoMaupertuis；thoughobligedtocontroverthim。Forexample:
"QuoeitaquedeMinimaActionisinmodificationibusmodumobtinenteingenereproferunturvehementerlaudo；""continentnempefacundumlongequepulcherrimumDynamicessublimiorisprincipium，cujusvimindifficillimisquoestionibussoepeexpertusfui。"]
BywayoffinistothePaper，thereisgiven，whatprovesextremelyimportanttous，anExcerptfromanoldLETTEROFLEIBNITZ’S；whichperhapsitwillbebettertopresenthereINCORPORE，assomuchturnedonitafterwards。Konigthuswindsup:——
"Iaddonlyaword，infinishing；andthatis，thatitappearsMr。LeibnitzhadatheoryofAction，perhapsmuchmoreextensivethanonewouldsuspectatpresent。ThereisaLetterwrittenbyhimtoMr。Hermann[anancientmathematicalsageatBasel]，whereheusestheseexpressions:’Action，isnotwhatyouthink；
theconsiderationofTimeentersintoit；Actionisastheproductofthemassbythespaceandthevelocity，orasthetimebytheVISVIVA。Ihaveremarkedthatinthemodificationsofmotion，theactionbecomesusuallyamaximumoraminimum:——andfromthistheremightseveralpropositionsofgreatconsequencebededuced。
Itmightservetodeterminethecurvesdescribedbybodiesunderattractiontooneormorecentres。IhadmeanttotreatofthesethingsintheSecondPartofmyDYNAMIQUE；whichIsuppressed，thereceptionoftheFirst，byprejudiceinmanyquarters，havingdisgustedme。’"[MAUPERTUISIANA，No。ii。22（fromActaEruditorum，ubisupra）。InMAUPERTUISIANA，No。iv。
166，isthewholeLetter，"Hanover，16thOctober，1707；"noADDRESS
left，judgedtobetoHermann。MAUPERTUISIANA（Hamburg，1753）isamereBookseller’sorevenBookbinder’sFarrago，withprintedTITLE—
PAGEandLIST，ofthechiefPamphletswhichhadappearedonthisBusiness（sixteenbycount，varioustype，all8vosize，inmycopy）。OfwhichonlyNo。ii。（Konig’sAPPELAUPUBLIC）andNo。iv。
（2deditionofsaidAPPEL，withAPPENDIXOFCORRESPONDENCE）areilluminativetoread。]YourMinimumofAction，itwouldappear，then，isinsomecasesaMaximum；nothingcanbesaidbutthat，ineverycaseitisEITHERaMaximumorMinimum。WhatastrokeforourLAWOFTHRIFT，the"atlastconclusiveProof"ofanIntelligentCreator，asthePerpetualPresidenthadfanciedit！"So—ho，whatisthis！MyDiscoveryanError？AndLeibnitzdiscoveredit，sofarastrue？"——
"May28th—8thOCTOBER，1751。Maupertuis，compressinghimselfwhathecan，writestoKonig:’Verygood，Monsieur。ButpleaseinformmewhereisthatLetterofLeibnitz’s；Ihaveneverseenorheardofitbefore，——andIwanttomakeuseofitmyself。’TowhichKoniganswers:’Henzigaveitme，inCopy[unfortunateConspiratorHenzi，wholosthisheadthreeyearsago，bysentenceoftheOligarchGovernmentatBerne]:[Governmentby"TheTwoHundred；"ofSelect—
Vestrynature，verystiff，arbitraryandbecomerifeinabuses；
againstwhomhadrisenangrymutteringsmorethanonce，andin1749
aSelectPlot（notselectENOUGH，fortheydiscovereditintime）。
PoorEx—CaptainHenzi，"Clerk*oftheSalt—Office，"mostfrugal，studiousandquietofmen；averymiracle，Itwouldappear，ofgenius，solidlearning，philosophyandpiety，——notthechieforfirstoftheconspirators，butbyfarthemostdistinguished，——waslaidholdof，July2d，1749，andbeheaded，withanotherofthem，adayortwoafter。Muchbewailedinaprivateway，evenbythebetterkindsofpeople。（Copiousaccountofhimin
Adelung，vii。86—91。）]——he，poorfellow，hadnoendofPapersandExcerpts；had，asweknow，aboveahundredvolumesofthelatterkind；this，andsomeotherLettersofLeibnitz’s，amongthem，——IsendyouthewholeLetter，copiedfaithfullyfromhisCopy。’["TheHague，26thJune，"inMaupertuisiana，No。iv。130。]Tothateffect，stillinperfectgood—humor，wasKonig’sreplytohisMaupertuis。
"’Hm，Copy？ByHenzi？’grumblesMaupertuistohimself:——’SearchinBerne，then；itmustbethere，ifanywhere！’ToKonigMaupertuisanswersnothing:butsulkilyresolvesonhavingSearchmade；——and，togivesolemnitytothematter，requestshisExcellencyMarquisdePaulmy，theFrenchAmbassadoratBerne，toasktheGovernmentthere，——GovernmenthavingseizedallHenzi’sPapers，onbeheadinghim。ExcellencyPaulmydoes，accordingly，makeinquiryinthehighestquarter；someinquiriesupanddown。Nottheleastaccountofthis，orofanyLeibnitzLetter，tobehadfromamongHenzi’sPapers，——the’hundredvolumes，’seemingly，existnolonger；——
OriginalofthisLeibnitzPieceisnowhere。ForeightmonthsthehighestAuthoritieshavebeenlookingabout（withoneknowsnotwhatvivacityorskillinsearching），andhavefoundnothingwhatever。"StagesecondoftheBusinessfinishesinthismanner。
HowluckyforthePerpetualPresident，hadhestoppedhere！
ToKonigandthecommoncontradictionofsinnershecouldhaveopposed，asitwasapparentlyhispurposetodo，anOlympiansilence，"Pshaw！"Wherebythesmallmatter，interestingtofew，wouldhavedroppedgentlyintodubiety，intooblivion，andbeengotwellridof。ButthisofthegreatLeibnitz，touchingonone’sLAW
OFTHRIFT；andnotonly"discovering"it，halfacenturybeforehand，butdiscoveringthatitwasnottrue:toLeibnitzonemustspeak；——andtheabstrusequestionis，Whatisonetosay？
"Findmetheoriginal；letusbecertain，first:"thatyoucansay；
thatisonedearpoint；andprettymuchtheonlyone。Therest，atthistime，asIconjecture，mayhavebeennotalittleabstrusetothePerpetualPresident！
Andnow，hadthePerpetualPresidentbutstoppedhere，theremightstillhaverestedasavingshadowofsuspiciononKonig’sExcerpt，Thatitwasnotexact，thatitmightbewronginsomevitalpoint:
——"YounevershowedmetheOriginal，Monsieur！"Unluckily，thePerpetualPresidentdidnotstop。Onecannotwellfancyhimbelieving，noworever，thatKonighadforgedtheExcerpt。
MostlikelyhehadthefatalpersuasionthatthesewereLeibnitz’swords；andthequestion，Whatwastobesaidordone，iftheOriginalSHOULDturnup？mightjustlybealarmingtoaSonofthePureSciences。Butatthispointanewdoorofescapediscloseditself:"WhereistheOriginal，Isay！"——andherushed，fullspeed，intothat；gallopingtriumphantly，feelingallsafe。
"OCTOBER7th（1751），MaupertuissummonshisAcademy:’Messieurs，permitmetosubmitacaseperhapsrequiringyourattention。OneofournumberdissentsfromyourPresident’sDiscoveryoftheLawofThrift；whichsurelyheisfreetodo:butfurthermorehegivesanExcerptpurportingtobefromLeibnitz；wherebyitwouldappearthatyourPresident’sDiscovery，sanctionedinyourActsasnew，isnotnew，butLeibnitz’s（sofarasitisgoodforanything），——
possiblystolen，therefore；and，atanyrate，fifty—fouryearsold。
Inself—defence，IhavedemandedtoseetheOriginalofsaidExcerpt；andtheHonorableMemberinquestiondoesnotproduceit。
Whatsayyou？’’Shametohim！’saytheyall[thereseemtobebutfewScientificMembers，andmostofthem，itisinsinuated，havePensionsfromtheKingthroughtheirPerpetualPresident]；——anddeterminetomakeaStar—chambermatterofit！
"Accordingly，nextday，OCTOBER8th）SecretaryFormeywritesofficiallytoKonig，’ProducethatLetterwithinonemonth，’——andhasgothisMajestytoorder，ThatourPrussianMinisterattheHagueshalltakechargeofdeliveringsuchmessage，andshallmarkonwhatday。Thingserious，yousee！——PrussianMinisterattheHaguedelivers，anddocketsaccordingly。ToKonig’sastonishment；
whoisinasceneofdeeptroubleatthistime；RoyalHighnesstheStadtholdersuddenlydead，ordying:’diedOctober22d；leavingaveryyoungHeir，andaverysorrowfulWidowandCountry。’Muchtothinkof，thatliesapartfromtheMaupertuismatter！Whichlatter，however，issoveryserioustoo，hisPrussianMajesty’sMinisteratBerneisnowchargedtomakenewperquisitionfortheLeibnitzOriginalthere:Inshort，withinonemonththatDocumentisperemptorilywantedatBerlin。"
Highproceedingsthese；——andcalculatedtohaveoneresult，ifnoother。Namely，that，atthispoint，asreaderscanfancy，theidlerPublic，seeingastreet—quarrelinprogress，begantotakeinterestintheQuestionofMINIMUM；andquasi—scientificgentlementogatherround，andexpress，withcheerycapablelook，theiropinions，——stilllegibleinthevanishedJUGEMENSLIBRES（ofHamburg），GAZETTEDESAVANS（Leipzig），andotherpoorShadowsofJOURNALS，ifyoudaringlyevokethemfromtheothersideofStyx。
Which，thewholematterbeingnowsoindisputablyextinct，shadowy，Stygian，wewillnotherebeguiltyofdoing；buthastentothecatastrophes，thathavestillamemorability。
"Konig，havinginfactnothingmoretosayabouttheLeibnitzExcerpt，wasinnobreathlesshastetoobeyhissummons；hesatalmosttwomonthsbeforeansweringanything。Didthenwritehowever，inafriendlystraintoMaupertuis（December10th，1751）。
[Maupertuisiana，No。iv。132。]Almostonwhichsameday，asitchanced，theACADEMIE，aftertwomonths’
dignifiedwaiting，hadinbrieftermsrepeateditsorderonKonig。
[December11th，1751（Ib。137）。TowhichKonigmakesnospecialanswer（havingasgoodasansweredthedaybefore）；——butdoessilentlysendofftoSwitzerlandtomakeinquiries；anddoeswriteonceortwicemore，whenthereisoccasionforexplaining；——alwaysinaclear，sonorous，manfullyfirmandrespectfultone:’Thathehimselfhad，orhas，nokindofreasontodoubttheauthenticityoftheLeibnitzLetter；thattohimself（and，sofarashecanjudge，toMaupertuis）thequestionofitsauthenticityiswithoutspecialinterest；——he，Konig，havingthrownitinasameremarginalillustration，whichdecidesnothing，eitherfororagainsttheLawofThrift。Thathehas，inobediencetotheAcademy，causedsearchtobemadeinSwitzerland，especiallyatBasel，wherehejudgedthechancemightlie；butthatofthisparticularLetternothinghascometolight；thathehastwootherLeibnitzLetters，ofindifferenttenor，inthelateHenzi’shand，ifthesewillserveinaught，[Maupertuisiana，No。iv。155；andib。
172—192，thetwoLettersthemselves。]——butwhatfarthercanhedo？’
Inshort，Konigspeaksalwaysinaclearbusiness—likemanfultone；
theonepersonthatmakesareallyrespectfulandrespectablefigureinthisControversyoftheInfinitelyLittle。Amanwhom，viewedfromthisquietdistance，itseemsalmostinconceivablyabsurdtohavesuspectedofforgingforsosmallanobject。Oh，myPresident，thatDIRAREGNANDICUPIDO！——
"Questionis，however，WhattheAcademywilldo？OneMember，’thebestGeometeramongthem’[whosenameisnotgiven，butwhichtheBerlinAcademyshouldwriteinbiglettersacrossthissadPageoftheirAnnals，bywayoferasuretothesame]，dissentedfromthehighlineofprocedure；assertingKonig’sinnocenceinthismatter；
nay，hintingagreementwithKonig’sopinion。Butwasmetbysuchastorm，thathewithdrewfromthedeliberations；whichhenceforthwenttheirownbadcourse，unanimousthoughslow。AndsothematterpendulatesallthroughWinter，1751—52，andwasmuchthethemeofidlemen。"
Voltaireheardofitvaguelyallalong；butnotwithdistinctnesstilltheendofJulyfollowing。AsSpringadvanced，Maupertuishadfallenilloflungs，——threatenedwithspittingofblood（"owingtoexcessofbrandy，"hintsthemaliciousVoltaire，"whichisfashionableatSt。Malo，"birthplaceofMaupertuis），——andcouldnotfartherdirecttheAcademyinthisaffair。TheAcademyneedsnodirectionfarther。Here，verysoon，forasickPresident’sconsolation，iswhattheAcademydecideson，bywayofcatastrophe:——
THURSDAYEVENING，13thAPRIL，1752，TheAcademymet；CuratorMonsieurdeKeith，presiding；aboutascoreofactingMemberspresent。TowhomCuratordeKeith，asthefirstthing，readsamagnanimousbriefLetterfromourPerpetualPresident:"That，fortworeasons，hecannotattendonthisimportantoccasion:
First，becauseheistooill，whichwoulditselfbeconclusive；
butsecondly，andAFORTIORI，becauseheisinsomesenseapartytothecause，andoughtnotifhecould。"Whereupon，SecretaryFormeyhavingdonehisDocumentaryflourishings，CuratorEuler——
（greatinAlgebra，apparentlynotverygreatincommonsenseandtherulesofgoodtemper）——readsconsiderable"Report；"[IsNo。1
ofMaupertuisiana。]reciting，notinadishonest，butinadimwearisomeway，thevariousstepsoftheAffair，asreadersalreadyknowthem；andconcludeswiththisextraordinarypracticalresult:"Thingsbeingso（LESCHOSESETANT
TELLES）:theFragmentbeingofitselfsuspect[whatcouldLeibnitzknowofMaximaandMinima？TheywerenotdevelopedtilloneEulerdidit，quiteinlateyears！]，[Maupertuisians，No。i。22。]ofitselfsuspect；andMonsieurKonighavingfailedto"&c。&c。，——"itisassuredlymanifestthathiscauseisoneoftheworst（DESPLUSMAUVAISES），andthatthisFragmenthasbeenforged。"Singulartothink！"AndtheAcademy，allthingsdulyconsidered，willnothesitatetodeclareitfalse（SUPPOSE），andtherebydepriveitpubliclyofallauthoritywhichmayhavebeenascribedtoit"（HEAR，HEAR！fromallparts）。
CuratordeKeiththencollectsthevotes，——twenty—threeinall；
somesixteenareofworkingMembers；twoarefromaccidentalStrangers（"travellingstudents，"saytheenemy）；therestfromCuratorsofQuality:——Voteisunanimous，"AdopttheReport。
Fragmentevidentlyforged，andcannothavetheleastshadowofauthority（AUCUNEOMBRED’AUTHORITE）。Forgedbywhom，wedonotnowask；norwhattheAcademycould，onplaingrounds，nowdotoMonsieurKonig[NOTnailhisearstothepump，ohno！]；enough，itISforged，andsoremains。"Signed，"CuratordeKeith，"andSixotherOffice—bearers；"Formey，PerpetualSecretary"’closingthelist。
AtthenameKeith，aslightshadow（veryslight，forhowcouldKeithhelphimself？）crossesthemind:"Isthis，byillluck，theFeldmarschallKeith？"No，reader；thisisLieutenant—ColonelKeith；
heofWesel，with"EffigynailedtotheGallows"longsince；
whomnoneofuscaresfor。Sulzer，Inoticetoo，isofthislong—
earedSanhedrim。ACH，MEINLIEBERSULZER，youdon’tknow（doyou，then？）DIESEVERDAMMTERACE，towhatheightsanddepthsofstupidmalice，andmalignantlengthofear，theyarecapableofgoing。
"Thursday，13thApril，"thisisForgerKonig’sdoom:——and，whatisobservable，nextmorning，withacrashaudiblethroughNature，thePowder—Magazineflewaloft，killingseveralpersons！[Supra，p。203。]Hadnohand，he，Ihope，inthatlatteratrocity？
OnauthenticsightofthisSentence（forwhichKonighadatonce，onhearingofit，appliedtoFormey，andwhichcomestohim，withouthelpofFormey，throughthePublicNewspapers）Konig，inabrief，proudenough，butperfectlyquiet，mildandmanfulmanner，resignshisMembership。"Ceases，fromthisday（June18th，1752），tohavethehonorofbelongingtoyourAcademy；’anhonorIhadbeentheprouderof，asitcametomeunasked；’——andwillwish，you，fromtheoutsidehenceforth，successfulcampaignsinthefieldofScience。"[Maupertuisiana，No。iv。129。]
AndsetsaboutpreparinghisPamphlettoinstructmankindonthesubject。Maupertuis，itappears，didwrite，andmadeotherswritetoKonig’sSovereignLady，theDowagerPrincessofOrange，"Howextremelyhandsomeitwouldbe，couldherMostSereneHighness，afriendtoPureScience，bepleasedtoinduceMonsieurKonignottocontinuethispainfulControversy，buttositquietwithwhathehadgot。"[Voltaire（infra）。]WhichherMostSereneHighnessbynomeanthoughtthesuitablecourse。StilllessdidKonighimself；
whoseAPPEALTOTHEPUBLIC，withDEFENCEOFAPPEAL，——reasonablywelldone，asusual，andfollowedandaccompaniedbythemultitudeofCommentators，——appearedinduecourse。["September，1752，Konig’sAPPEL"（Preuss，inOEuvresdeFrederic，xv。60n。）。]Till，beforelong，thePublicwasthoroughlyinstructed；andnobody，hardlythesigningCurators，orthinEulerhimself，nottospeakofPerpetualFormey，whohadneverbeenstronginthematter，couldwellbelievein"forgery"orcaretospeakfartheronsuchasubject。SubjectgonewhollytotheStygianFens，longsince；"forgery"notnowimaginablebyanybody！
Therumorofthesethingsrosehighandwide；andthequantityofpublishinguponthem，quasi—scientificallyandotherwise，intheseriousveinandthejocose，wasgreaterthanweshouldfancy。
["LetterfromaMarquis；""LetterfromMr。T———toM。S———"（Mr。T。
livesinLondon；——"JETRAVERSELEQueen’sSquare，ETJERENCONTRE
NOTREAMID———:’AVEZ—VOUSLAl’AppelauPublic？’DIT—IL"——）；
"LetterbyEulerintheBerlinGazette，"&c。&c。（in
Maupertuisiana）。]Voltaire，foraboveamonthpast，hadbeenfullyawareofthecase（24thJuly，1752，writingtoNiece，"heardyesterday"）；notwithoutcommentarytooneselfandothers。Voltaire，withakindoflovetoKonig，andaveryrealhatredtoMaupertuisandtooppressiongenerally，tookpenhimself，amongtheothers（Konig’sAPPEALjustout），——couldnothelpdoingit，thoughhehadbetternot！ThefollowingsmallPieceisperhapstheone，iftherebeone，stillworthresuscitatingfromtheInaneKingdoms。AppearedintheBIBLIOTHEQUERAISONNEE（mild—shiningQuarterlyReviewofthosedays），JULY—SEPTEMBERNumber。
"ANSWERFROM[VERYPRIVATELYVOLTAIRE，CALLINGHIMSELF]A
BERLINACADEMICIANTOAPARISONE。
"BERLIN，18thSEPTEMBER，1752。Thisistheexacttruth，inreplytoyourinquiry。M。MoreaudeMaupertuisinaPamphletentitledESSAI
DECOSMOLOGIE，pretendedthattheonlyproofoftheExistenceofGodisthecircumstancethatARnRBisaMinimum。[ONLYproof:
^？？？？？？^（p。212BookXVI）
VOILA！]Heassertsthatinallpossiblecases，’ActionisaMinimum，’whathasbeendemonstratedfalse；andhesays，’HediscoveredthisLawofMinimum，’whatisnotlessfalse。
"M。Konig，aswellasotherMathematicians，wroteagainstthisstrangeassertion；and，amongotherthings，M。KonigcitedsomesentencesofaLetterbyLeibnitz，inwhichthatgreatmansays，Hehasobserved’that，inthemodificationsofmotion，theActionusuallybecomeseitheraMaximumorelseaMinimum。’
"M。MoreaudeMaupertuisimaginedthat，byproducingthisFragment，ithadbeenintendedtosnatchfromhimthegloryofhispretendeddiscovery，——thoughLeibnitzsayspreciselythecontraryofwhatheadvances。HeforcedsomepensionedmembersoftheAcademy，whoaredependentonhim，tosummonM。Koinig"——Asweknowtoowell；
andcannotbeartohaverepeatedtous，eveninthebriefestandspiciestform！"Sentence（JUGEMENT）onM。Konig，whichdeclareshimguiltyofhavingassaultedthegloryoftheSieurMoreauMaupertuisbyFORGINGaLeibnitzLetter。——Wrotethen，andmadewrite，toherSereneHighnessthePrincessofOrange，whowasindignantatsoinsolent"——……andinfine，"ThustheSieurMoreauMaupertuishasbeenconvicted，inthefaceofScientificEurope，notonlyofplagiarismandblunder，butofhavingabusedhisplacetosuppressfreediscussion，andtopersecuteanhonestmanwhohadnocrimebutthatofnotbeingofhisopinion。SeveralmembersofourAcademyhaveprotestedagainstsocryingaprocedure；andwouldleavetheAcademy，wereitnotforfearofdispleasingtheKing，whoisprotectorofit。"
[OEuvresdeVoltaire，lxiii。227（in
Maupertuisiana，No。xvi）。]
KingFriedrich’sposition，inthemiddleofallthis，wasbecominguncomfortable。Ofthecontroversyheunderstood，orcaredtounderstand，nothing；hadtobelievesteadilythathisAcademymustberight；thatKonigwassomeloosebird，enviousofaneagleMaupertuis，sittingaloftonhishighAcademicperch:
thisFriedrichtookforthetruthofthematter；——andcouldnotlethimselfimaginethathissublimePerpetualPresident，whowasusuallyveryprudentandJove—like，hadbeenled，byhistruculentvanity（whichFriedrichknewtobeimmenseintheman，thoughkeptwelloutofsight），intosuchplayingoffantastictricksbeforehighHeavenandotheron—lookers。ThisviewofthematterhadhithertobeenFriedrich’s；nordoIknowthatheeverinwardlydepartedfromit；——asoutwardlyhe，forcertain，neverdid；
standing，King—like，clearalwaysforhisPerpetualPresident，tillthishurricaneofPamphletsblewby。Voltaire’slittlePiece，therefore，wastheunwelcomestpossible。
Thisnewboltofelectricfire，launcheduponthestorm—tostPresidentfromBerlinitself，andevenfromtheKing’sHouseitself，——bywhom，tooclearlyrecognizable，——whatanirritatingthing！Unseemly，infact，onVoltaire’spart；butcouldnotbehelpedbyaVoltairechargedwithelectricity。Friedrichevidentlyinconsiderableindignation，findingthatpublicmeasureswouldbutworsentheuproar，tookpeninhand；wroterapidlytheindignantLETTERFROMANACADEMICIANOFBERLINTOANACADEMICIANOFPARIS:
[OEuvresdeFrederic，xv。59—64（notdated；
datable"October，1752"）。]whichPiece，ofsomelength，wecannotgivehere；butwillbrieflydescribeasmanifestingnorealknowledgeoftheLAW—OF—THRIFTControversy；butastakingtheabovelooseviewofit，andasdirectedprincipallyagainst"thepretendedMemberofourAcademy"（mischievousVoltaire，towit），whomitcharacterizesas"suchamanifestretaileroflies，"a"concocterofstupidlibels:""haveyoueverseenanactionmoremalicious，moredastardly，moreinfamous？"——andotherhardterms，thehardesthecanfind。Thisistheprivilegeofanonymity，onbothsidesofit。
ButimaginenowaKingandhisVoltairedoingwittydiscourseovertheirSupperofthegods（as，onthesetdays，isdulythecase）；
withsuchaconsciousness，burninglikeBudelight，thoughcloseveiled，onthepartofHostandGuest！TheFriedrich—Voltairerelationisevidentlyundersorestressofweather，inthosewinter—autumnmonthsof1752，——brownleaves，splashyrainsandwindsmoaningoutwardlywithal。And，alas，theirrepressiblyelectricVoltaire，stillfarfromhavingended，stillonlyjustbeginninghisAnti—Maupertuisdischarges，has，intheinterim，privatelygothisDOCTORAKAKIAready。Comparedtowhich，theformermissileisasapopguntoaparkofartilleryshottedwitholdnailsandbrokenglass！——Suchaconstraint，attheRoyaldinner—table，amidwineandwit，couldnotcontinue。Thecredibleaccountis，itsooncrackedasunder；and，aftertheconceivablesputterings，sparklingsandflashingsofvariouscomplexion，issuedinlambentairsof"tacitmutualunderstanding；andinreadingofAKAKIAtogether，——withpealsoflaughterfromtheKing，"asthecommonFrenchBiographersassert。
"ReadersknowAKAKIA，"[DIATRIBEDUDOCTEURAKAKIA（inVoltaire，OEuvres，lxi。19—62）。]saysSmelfungus:
"itisoneofthefamousfeatsofSatiricalPyrotechny；onlytoopleasanttothecorruptRaceofAdam！Thereisnotmuch，orindeedanything，oftruepoetichumorinit:butthereisagayetyofmalice，adexterity，felicity，inexhaustibilityoflaughingmockeryandlightbanter，capableofdrivingaPerpetualPresidentdelirious。WhatanExplosionofglass—crackers，fire—balls，flaming—serpents；——generally，ofsleepinggunpowder，initsmostartisticforms，——flamingoutsky—highoveralltheParish，onasudden！Thealmost—sublimeofMaupertuis，whichexistsinlargequantities，hereisanewartistwhoknowshowtotreatit。
TheengineeroftheSublime（alwayspainfullyengineeringthitherwardwithouteffect），——anengineeroftheComicstepsinonhim，blowshimupwithhisownpetardsinamostunexampledmanner。
NotanowleryhasthatpoorMaupertuis，inthestruggletobesublime（oftennearlysuccessful，butneveroncequite），happenedtodropfromhim，butVoltairepicksitup；manipulatesit，reducesittothesublimelyridiculous；lodgesit，intheformofburningdust，abouttheheadofMONPRESIDENT。NeedlesstosayoftheComicengineerthatheisunfair，perverselyexaggerative，reiterative，ontheowleriesofpoorMaupertuis；——itishisfunctiontoBEallthat。Clever，butwrong，doyousay？Well，yes:——andyettheridiculousdoesrequireridicule；wiseNaturehassilentlysoordered。AndifevertruculentPresidentinredwig，withhisabsurdtruculences，tyranniesandperpetualstrugglesafterthesublime，diddeservetobeexplodedinlaughter，itcouldnothavebeenmoreconsummatelydone；——thoughperverselyalways，asmustbeowned。
"’TheholeboredthroughtheEarth，’forinstance:really，onesometimesreflectsonsuchathing；Howyouwouldseedaylight，andtheantipodalgentleman（ifhebentalittleover）foottofoot；
howalittlestoneflungintoitwouldexactly（butforairandfriction）reachtheothersideoftheworld；wouldthen，inacomputablefewmoments，comebackquiescenttoyourhand，andsocontinueforevermore；——withotherthelikeuncriminalfancies。
"’TheLatinTown，’again:truly，iflearningtheAncientLanguagesbehumanEducation，itmight，withaGreekDitto，supersedetheUniversities，andproveexcellentlyserviceableinourstruggleHeavenwardbythatparticularroute。IcanassureM。deVoltaire，itwasoncepracticallyproposedtothisKing’sGreat—grandfather，theGrosseKurfurst；——wholookedintoit，withfacepuckeredtotheintensest，inhisgreatcareforfurtheranceoftheTerrestrialSciencesandWisdoms；butforboreforthattime。[MinutedetailsaboutitinStenzel，ii。234—238；whoquotes"Erman"（apooroldfriendofours）"SURLEPROJETD’UNEVILLESAVANTEDANSLE
BRANDEBOURG（Berlin，1792）:"dateoftheProjectwas1667。]Thenasto’DissectingtheBrainsofPatagonians；’whatharm，ifyoucangetthemgrossenough？Andastothatof（exaltingyourmindtopredictthefuture，’doesnot，infact，manlookBEFOREandAFTER；
arenotMemoryand（inasmalldegree）ProphecytheTwoFacultieshehas？
"Thesethings——whicharemostlytobefoundinthe’LETTRESDE
MAUPERTUIS’（Dresden，1752，thenabrand—newBook），butarenowcliptoutfromtheMaupertuisTreatises——wecanfancytobealmostsublimities。——Almost，unfortunatelynotaltogether。AndthenthereissuchaSisyphus—effortvisibleindraggingthemaloftsofar:
andthenimblewickedVoltairesoseizeshismoment，tripspoorSisyphus；andsendshimdown，heels—over—head，inatorrentofroaringdebris！’FromgradualtranspirationofourvitalforcecomesDeath；whichperhaps，byprecautions，mightbeindefinitelyretarded，’saysMaupertuis。’Yes，truly，’answerstheother:’ifwegotourselvesjapanned，coatedwithresinousvarnish（INDUITSDE
POIXRESINEUX）；whoknows！’Notasublimeowlerycanyoudrop，butitismanipulated，grounddown，putinrifledcannon，comesbackonyouastempestsofburningdust。"EnoughtosendMaupertuispirouettingthroughtheworld，withredwigunquenchablyonfire！
Pealsoflaughter（onceyouareallowedtobenon—official）couldnotfail，asanovation，fromtheKing；——soreporttheFrenchBiographers。Buttherewas，besides，strictpromisethatthePieceshouldbesuppressed:"NeverdotosendourPresidentpirouettingthroughtheworldinthismanner，withhiswigonfire；promiseme，onyourhonor！"Voltairepromised。But，alas，howcouldVoltaireperform！OncemoretheRhadamanthinefactis:Voltaire，asKing’sChamberlain，wasbound，withoutanypromise，toforbear，andrigidlysuppresssuchanAKAKIAagainsttheKing’sPerpetualPresident。Butwithalletcandidreadersconsiderhowdifficultitwastodo。TheabsurdblusterousTurkey—cock，whohas，everynowandthen，beentyrannizingoveryoufortwentyyears，hereyouhavehimfilledwithgunpowder，sotospeak，andthetrainlaid。
Therewantsbutonespark，——（editionprintedinHolland，editiondoneinBerlin，plentyofeditionsmadeormakablebyalittlesurreptitiouslegerdemain，——andIneverknewwhetheritwasAKAKIA
inprint，orAKAKIAinmanuscript，thatKingandKing’sChamberlainwerenowreadingtogether，nordoesitmattermuch）:——yourTurkeysurreptitiouslystuffedwithgunpowder，Isay；trainreadywaiting；
oneflint—sparkwillshoothimaloft，scatterhimasflamingruinonallthewinds:andyouare，onceandalways，towithholdsaidspark。Perhaps，hadAKAKIAnotyetbeenwritten——Butallliesreadythere；onesparkwilldoit，atanymoment；——andthereareunguardedmoments，andtheTemptermustprevail！——
OnwhatdayAKAKIAblazedoutatBerlin，surreptitiouslyforwardedfromHollandorotherwise，Icouldneveryetlearn（sostupidthesereporters）。But"onNovember2d"theKingmakesaVisittosickMaupertuis，whichispublishedinalltheNewspapers；[Rodenbeck，INDIE；Helden—Geschichte，iii。531，"2dNovember，1752，5P。M。"]——andonemightguesstheAKAKIA
conflagration，andcruelhaha—ingsofmankind，tohavebeentacitlythecause。Thenorlater，sureenough，AKAKIAdoesblazealoftaboutthattime；andallBerlin，andalltheworld，isinconversationoverMaupertuisandit，——30，000copiessoldinParis:
——andFriedrichnaturallywasinatoweringpassionathisChamberlain。NothingfortheChamberlainbuttoflyhispresence；
toshriek，piteously，"Accident，yourMajesty！Fataltreacheryandaccident；aftersuchprecautionstoo！"——andfallsicktodeath（whichisalwaysaresourceonehas）；andgetintoprivatelodgingsintheTAUBEN—STRASSE，[Ata"HofrathFrancheville’s"（kindofsubalternLiteraryCharacter，seeDenina，ii。67），"TAUBEN—STRASSE
（DoveStreet），No。20:"stayedtheretill"March，1753"（NotebyPreuss，OEuvresdeFrederic，xxii。306n。）。]
tilloneeitherdie，orgrowfittobeseenagain:"Ah，Sire"——letusgivetheVoltaireshriekofNOT—GUILTY，withtheFriedrichAnswer；bothdatelessunluckily:——
VOLTAIRE。"AH，MONDIEU，Sire，inthestateIamin！Isweartoyouagain，onmylife，whichIcouldrenouncewithoutpain，thatitisafrightfulcalumny。Iconjureyoutosummonallmypeople，andconfrontthem。What？Youwilljudgemewithouthearingme！Idemandjusticeordeath。"
FRIEDRICH。"Youreffronteryastonishesme。Afterwhatyouhavedone，andwhatisclearasday，youpersist，insteadofowningyourselfculpable。Donotimagineyouwillmakepeoplebelievethatblackiswhite；whenone[ON，meaning_I_]doesnotsee，thereason？ONEp。218，bookXVI
is，onedoesnotwanttoseeeverything。Butifyoudrivetheaffairtoextremity，——allshallbemadepublic；anditwillbeseenwhether，ifyourWorksdeservestatues，yourconductdoesnotdeservechains。"[OEuvresdeFrederic，xxii。
302，301。]
Mostdarkelement（notindateonly），withterrificthunder—and—
lightning。Nothingforitbuttokeepone’sroom，mostlyone’sbed，——"Ah，Sire，sicktodeath！"
December24th，1752，thereisonethingdismallydistinct，Voltairehimselflookingon（theysay），fromhiswindowsinDoveStreet:
thePublicBurningofAKAKIA，nearthere，bythecommonHangman。
Figureit；andVoltaire’sreflectionsonit:——haggardlyclearthatActThirdisculminating；andthatthefinalcatastropheisinevitableandnigh。Wemustbebrief。Ontheeighthdayafterthisdreadspectacle（New—year’s—day1753），Voltairesends，inaPackettothePalace，hisGoldKeyandCrossofMerit。OntheinteriorwrappageisanInscriptioninverse:"Ireceivedthemwithlovingemotion，Ireturnthemwithgrief；asabroken—heartedLoverreturnsthePortraitofhisMistress:——
Jelesrecusavectendresse，Jevouslesrendsavecdouleur；
C’estainsiqu’unamant，danssonextremeardeur，Rendleportraitdesamaitresse。"
And——inaLetterenclosed，tenderastheSongofSwans——hasonewish:PermissionforthewatersofPlonbieres，somealleviationsamidkindnursingfriendsthere；andtodiecravingblessingsonyourMajesty。[Collini，p。48；LETTER，inOEuvresdeFrederic，xxii。305。]
Friedrich，thoughinhotwrath，hasnotquitecomethatlength。
Friedrich，thesameday，towardsevening，sendsFredersdorftohim，withDecorationsback。AndalongdialogueensuesbetweenFredersdorfandVoltaire；inwhichCollini，noteavesdropping，"heardthevoiceofM。deVoltaireattimesveryloud。"
Preciseresultunknown。Afterwhich，forthreemonthsmore，followswaitingandhesitationandnegotiation，alsoquiteobscure。
ConfusedhitheringandthitheringaboutpermissionforPlombieres，aboutrepentance，sorrow，amendment，blame；intheend，reconciliation，orwhatistopassforsuch。RecordedforusinthatwhirlofmisdatedLetter—clippings；inthoseNarratives，ignorant，andpretendingtoknow:perhapsthedarkestSectioninHistory，SacredorProfane，——wereitofmomenttous，hereorelsewhere！
VoltairehasgotpermissiontoreturntoPotsdam；ApartmentinthePalacereadyagain:buthestilllingersinDoveStreet；tooill，inrealtruth，forPotsdamsocietyonthosenewterms。DoesnotquitFrancheville’s"tillMarch5th；"andthenonlyforanotherLodging，called"theBelvedere"，ofsuburbanorruralkind。
Hiscaseisintricatetoadegree。Heissickofbody；
spectre—hauntedwithal，morethanever；——oftenthinksFriedrich，provoked，willrefusehimleave。And，alas，hewouldsofainNOT
go，aswellasgo！LeaveforPlombieres，——leaveintheangrilycontemptuousshape，"Go，then，foreverandaday！"——Voltairecanatoncehave:buttogetitinthefriendlyshape，andasifforatimeonly？HisprospectsatParis，atVersailles，arenoneofthebest；toreturnasifdismissedwillneverdo！Wouldfainnotgo，withal；——andhastodiplomatizeatPotsdam，byD’Argens，DePrades，andatParissimultaneously，byRichelieu，D’Argensonandfriends。
Heisgreatlytobepitied；——evenFriedrichpitieshim，themartyrofbodilyailmentsandofspiritual；andsendshim"extractofquinquina"atonetime。[LetterofVoltaire’s。]Threemiserablemonths；whichonlyanOEdipuscouldread，andanOEdipuswhohadnothingelsetodo！Theissueiswellknown。Ofpreciseorindisputable，ontheroadthither，herearefractionsthatwillsuffice:——
VOLTAIRETOONEBAGIEUHISDOCTORATPARIS（"Berlin，19thDecember，"1752，weekBEFOREhisAKAKIAwasburnt）……"WishI
couldsetoutontheinstant，andputmyselfintoyourhandsandintothearmsofmyfamily！IbroughttoBerlinaboutascoreofteeth，thereremaintomesomethinglikesix；Ibroughttwoeyes，Ihavenearlylostoneofthem；Ibroughtnoerysipelas，andIhavegotone，whichItakeagreatdealofcareof……MeanwhileIhaveburiedalmostallmyDoctors；evenLaMettrie。RemainsonlythatI
buryCodenius[Cothenius]，wholookstoostiff，however，"——and，atanyrate，returntoyouinSpring，whenroadsandweatherimprove。
[OEuvresdeVoltaire，lxxxv。141。]
FRIEDRICHTOVOLTAIRE（Potsdam，uncertaindate）。"TherewasnoneedofthatpretextaboutthewatersofPlombieres，indemandingyourleave（CONGE）。Youcanquitmyservicewhenyoulike:but，beforegoing，besogoodasreturnmetheContractofyourEngagement，theKey[Chamberlain’s]，theCross[ofMerit]，andtheVolumeofVerseswhichIconfidedtoyou。
"IwishmyWorks，andonlythey，hadbeenwhatyouandKonigattacked。ThemIsacrifice，withagreatdealofwillingness，topersonswhothinkofincreasingtheirownreputationbylesseningthatofothers。IhavenotthefollynorvanityofcertainAuthors。
ThecabalsofliterarypeopleseemtomethedisgraceofLiterature。IdonotthelessesteemhonorablecultivatorsofLiterature；itisonlythecaballersandtheirleadersthataredegradedinmyeyes。Onthis，IprayGodtohaveyouinhisholyandworthykeeping。——FRIEDRICH。"[InDePrades’shand；
OEuvresdeFrederic，xxii。308，309:Friedrich’sownMinutetoDePradeshas，insteadoftheselastthreelines:"ThatI
havenotthefollyandvanityofauthors，andthatthecabalsofliterarypeopleseemtomethedepthofdegradation，"&c。]
VOLTAIRESPECTRALLYGIVEN（ColliniLOQUITUR）。"Oneeveningwalkinginthegarden[atruralBelvedere，——afterMarch5th]，talkingofoursituation，heaskedme，’Couldyoudriveacoach—and—two？’
Istaredathimamoment；butknowingthattheremustbenodirectcontradictionofhisideas，Isaid’Yes。’——’Well，then，listen；
Ihavethoughtofamethodforgettingaway。Youcouldbuytwohorses；achariotafterthat。Sosoonaswehavehorses，itwillnotappearstrangethatwelayinalittlehay。’——’Yes，Monsieur；
andwhatshouldwedowiththat？’saidI。’LEVOICI（thisisit）。
Wewillfillthechariotwithhay。Inthemiddleofthehaywewillputallourbaggage。Iwillplacemyself，disguised，onthetopofthehay；andgivemyselfoutforaCalvinistCurategoingtoseeoneofhisDaughtersmarriedinthenextTown。Youshalldrive:
wetaketheshortestroadfortheSaxonBorder；safethere，wesellchariot，horses，hay；thenstraighttoLeipzig，bypost。’Atwhichpoint，orsoonafter，heburstintolaughing。"[Collini，p。53。]
VOLTAIRETOFRIEDRICH（"Berlin，Belvedere，"rurallodging，["IntheSTRALAUERVORSTADT（HODIE，WoodmarketStreet）:"Preuss’sNotetothisLetter，OEuvresdeFrederic，xxii。
306n。]"12thMarch，"1753）。"Sire，IhavehadaLetterfromKonig，quiteopen，asmyheartis。IthinkitmydutytosendyourMajestyaduplicateofmyAnswer……Willsubmittoyoueverystepofmyconduct；ofmywholelife，inwhateverplaceIendit。IamKonig’sfriend；butassuredlyIammuchmoreattachedtoyourMajesty；
andifhewerecapabletheleastintheworldoffailinginrespect[asisrumored]，Iwould"——Enough！
FRIEDRICHRELENTS（ToVoltaire；DePradeswriting，Friedrichcovertlydictating:nodate）。"TheKinghasheldhisConsistory；
andithastherebeendiscussed，Whetheryourcasewasamortalsinoravenial？Intruth，alltheDoctorsownedthatitwasmortal，andevenexceedinglyconfirmedassuchbyrepeatedlapsesandrelapses。Nevertheless，bytheplenitudeofthegraceofBeelzebub，whichrestsinthesaidKing，hethinkshecanabsolveyou，ifnotinwhole，yetinpart。Thiswouldbe，ofcourse，invirtueofsomeactofcontritionandpenitenceimposedonyou:butas，intheEmpireofSatan，thereisagreatrespecthadofgenius，Ithink，onthewhole，that，forthesakeofyourtalents，onemightpardonagoodmanythingswhichdodiscredittoyourheart。ThesearetheSovereignPontiff’swords；whichIhavecarefullytakendown。TheyareaProphecyrather。"[OEuvresdeFrederic，
xxii。307。]
VOLTAIRETODEPRADES（"Belvedere，15thMarch，"1753）。"DearAbbe，——Yourstylehasnotappearedtomesoft。YouareafrankSecretaryofState:——neverthelessIgiveyouwarning，itistobeasettledpointthatIembraceyoubeforegoing。Ishallnotbeabletokissyou；mylipsaretoochoppyfrommydevilofadisorder[SCURVY，I
hear]。Youwilleasilydispensewithmykisses；butdon’tdispense，Iprayyou，withmywarmandtruefriendship。
"IownIamindespairatquittingyou，andquittingtheKing；
butitisathingindispensable。ConsiderwithourdearMarquis[D’Argens]，withFredersdorf，——PARBLEU，withtheKinghimself，HowyoucanmanagethatIhavetheconsolationofseeinghimbeforeI
go。Iabsolutelywillhaveit；IwillembracewithmytwoarmstheAbbeandtheMarquis。TheMarquissha’n’tbekissed，anymorethanyou；northeKingeither。ButIshallperhapsfallblubbering；
Iamweak，Iamadrenchedhen。Ishallmakeafoolishfigure:
nevermind；Imust，oncemore，havesightofyoutwo。IfIcannotthrowmyselfattheKing’sfeet，thePlombiereswaterswillkillme。Iawaityouranswer，toquitthisCountryasahappyorasamiserableman。Dependonmeforlife。——V。"[Ib。308。]——ThisisthelastoftheseobscureDocuments。
Threedaysafterwhich，"eveningofMarch18th"，[Collini，pp。55，56。]Voltaire，Colliniwithhimandallhispackages，setsoutforPotsdam；King’sguestoncemore。SeestheKinginperson"afterdinner，nextday；"stayswithhimalmostaweek，"quitegaytogether，""someprivatequizzingevenofMaupertuis"（ifwecouldbelieveColliniorhismasteronthatpoint）；means"toreturninOctober，whenquiterefitted，"——doesatleast（noteit，reader），onthatground，retainhisCrossandKey，andhisGiftoftheOEUVRE
DEPOESIES:whichhehadmuchbetterhaveleft！Andfinally，morningofMarch25th）1753，[Collini，p。56；seeRodenbeck，i。252。]drivesoff，——towardsDresden，wheretherearePrintingAffairstosettle，andwhichisthenearestsafeCity；——andFriedrichandhe，intendingsoornot，haveseenoneanotherforthelasttime。Notquiteintendingthatextremity，eitherofthem，Ishouldthink；butbothawarethatlivingtogetherwasathingtobeavoidedhenceforth。
"Takecareofyourhealth，aboveall；anddon’tforgetthatI
expecttoseeyouagainaftertheWaters！"suchwasFriedrich’sadieu，saytheFrenchBiographers，[Collini，p。57；Duvernet，p。186；OEuvresdeVoltaire，lxxv。187（"willreturninOctober"）。]"whoishimselfjustgoingofftotheSilesianReviews"，addthey；——whodoes，inreality，drivetoBerlinthatday；butnottotheSilesianReviewstillMayfollowing。
AsVoltairehimselfwillexperience，tohiscost！
ChapterXII。
OFTHEAFTERPIECE，WHICHPROVEDSTILLMORETRAGICAL。
Voltaire，oncesafeonSaxonground，wasinnoextremehasteforPlombieres。HedeliberatelysettledhisPrintingAffairsatDresden；thenatLeipzig；——andscatteredthroughNewspapers，orwhatport—holeshehad，variousfierydartsagainstMaupertuis；
aggravatingthehumorsinBerlin，andprovokingMaupertuistowritehimanexpressLetter。Letterwhichistoocurious，especiallytheAnsweritgets，tobequiteomitted:——
MAUPERTUISTOVOLTAIRE（atLeipzig）。
"BERLIN，3dAPRIL，1753。Ifitistruethatyoudesigntoattackmeagain[withyourLA—BEAUMELLEdoggeriesandscurrilousdiscussions]，IdeclaretoyouthatIhavestillhealthenoughtofindyouwhereveryouare，andtotakethemostsignalvengeanceonyou（VENGEANCELAPLUSECLATANTE）。Thanktherespectandtheobediencewhichhavehithertorestrainedmyarm，andsavedyoufromtheworstadventureyouhaveeveryethad。MAUPERTUIS。"
VOLTAIRE’SANSWER（fromLeipzig，afewdaysafter）。
"M。lePresident，——IhavehadthehonortoreceiveyourLetter。Youinformmethatyouarewell；thatyourstrengthisentirelyreturned；andthat，ifIpublishLaBeaumelle’sLetter[privateLetterofhis，lentmebyaFriend，whichprovesthatYOUsethimagainstme]，youwillcomeandassassinateme。WhatingratitudetoyourpoormedicalmanAkakia！……Ifyouexaltyoursoulsoastodiscernfuturity，youwillseethatifyoucomeonthaterrandtoLeipzig，whereyouarenobetterlikedthaninotherplaces，andwhereyourLetterisinsafeLegalhands，yourunsomeriskofbeinghanged。Poorme，indeed，youwillfindinbed；andIshallhavenothingforyoubutmysyringeandvesselofdishonor:butsosoonasIhavegainedalittlestrength，IwillhavemypistolschargedCUMPULVEREPYRIO；andmultiplyingthemassbythesquareofthevelocity，soastoreducetheactionandyoutozero，Iwillputsomeleadinyourhead；——itappearstohaveneedofit。ADIEU，MONPRESIDENT。AKAKIA。"[Duvernet，pp。186，187；
OEuvresdeVoltaire，lxi。55—60。]
Here，inthehistoryofDuelling，orchallengingtomortalcombat，isauniquearticle！Atwhichthewholeworldhaha’dagain；
perhapsKingFriedrichhimself；thoughhewasdreadfullyprovokedatit，too:"Nomendingofthatfellow！"——andtookaresolutioninconsequence，aswillbeseen。
DresdenandLeipzigdonewith，VoltaireacceptedaninvitationtotheCourtofSachsen—Gotha（mostpoliteSereneHighnessesthere，andespeciallyacharmingDuchess，——whosethimupondoingtheANNALESDEL’EMPIRE，decidedlyhisworstBook）。"AboutApril2lst"
Voltairearrived，stayedtillthelastdaysofMay；[
OEuvresdeVoltaire，lxxv。182n。Clogenson’sNote）。]
andhad，forfiveweeks，abeautifultimeatGotha；——Wilhelmina’sDaughterthere（youngDuchessofWurtemberg，onvisit，asitchanced），[Wilhelmina—FriedrichCorrespondence（OEuvresdeFrederic，xxvii。iii。258，249）。]andallmannerofgraces，melodiesandbeneficences；alittleworking，too，attheANNALES，inthebigLibrary，betweenwhiles。Fivedecidedlymelodiousweeks。Beautifulinterlude，orhalf—houroforchestralfiddlinginthisVoltaireDrama；half—hourwhichcouldnotlast！
OntheheelofwhichthereunhappilyfollowedanAfterpieceorcodiciltotheBerlinVisit；which，sotospeak，setthewholetheatreonfire，andfinishedbyexplosionworsethanAKAKIA
itself。Athingstillfamoustomankind；——ofwhichsomeintelligiblenotionmustbeleftwithreaders。
Theessenceofthestoryisbrieflythis。Voltaire，byhisfinedeportmentinpartingwithFriedrich，hadbeenallowedtoretainhisDecorations，hisLetterofAgreement，hisRoyalBOOKOFPOESIES
（oneofthose"TwelveCopies，"printedAUDONJONDUCHATEAU，inhappiertimes！）——andinshort，togohiswaysasafriend，notasarunawayoronedismissed。Butnow，byhislateproceduresatLeipzig，and"firingsoutofport—holes"inthatmanner，hehadawakenedFriedrich’sindignationagain，——Friedrich’sregretatallowinghimtotakethosearticleswithhim；andproducedaresolutioninFriedrichtohavethemback。Theyarenotgenerallyarticlesofmuchmoment；butasmarksoffriendship，theyarenowallfalsities。Oneofthearticlesmightbeoffrightfulimportance:thatBookofPoesies；thrice—privateOEUVREDEPOESIES，inwhicharesatiricalspurtsaffectingmorethanonecrownedhead:
oneshudderstothinkwhatfiresaspitefulVoltairemightcausebypublishingthese！ThiswasFriedrich’sidea；——andbynomeansachimericalone，astheFactproved；saidOEUVREbeingactuallyreprinteduponhim，atParisafterwards（notbyVoltaire），inthecrisisoftheSeven—YearsWar，toputhimoutwithhisUncleofEngland，whomitquizzedinpassages。[Titleofitis，
OEuvresduPhilosophedeSans—Souci（Paris，pretendingtobe"Potsdam，"1760），1vol。12mo:atParis，"inJanuary"this；
whereupon，atBerlin，withdespatch，"April9th，""therealedition"（properlycastrated）wassentforth，undertitle，POESIES
DIVERSES，1vol。big8vo（Preuss，inOEuvresdeFrederic，x。Preface，p。x。SeeFormey，ii。255，underdatemisprinted"1763"）。]"Wewillhavethosearticlesback，"thinksFriedrich；"thatOEUVREmostespecially！Nodifficulty:waitforhimatFrankfurt，ashepasseshome；demandthemofhimthere。"
Andhas（directlyonthosenew"firingsthroughport—holes"atLeipzig）biddenFredersdorftakemeasuresaccordingly。["FriedrichtoWilhelmina，12thApril，1753"（OEuvres，
xxvii。iii。227）。]
Fredersdorfdidso；earlyinAprilandonwardhadhisOfficialPersonwaitingatFrankfurt（oneFreytag，ourPrussianResidentthere，verycelebratedeversince），vigilantintheextremeforVoltaire’sarrival，——andwhodidnotmissthatevent。
Voltaire，arrivingatlast（May31st），did，withFreytag’shandlaidgentlyonhissleeve，atoncegiveupwhatofthearticleshehadabouthim；——theOEUVRE，unluckily，notoneofthem；andagreedtobeundermildarrest（"PAROLED’HONNEUR；intheLION—D’ORHotelhere！"）tillsaidOEUVREshouldcomeup。UnderFredersdorf’sguidance，allthis，andwhatfollows；KingFriedrich，afterthegeneralOrdergiven，hadnothingmoretodowithit，andwasgoneuponhisReviews。
InthecourseoftwoweeksormoretheOEUVREDEPOESIEdidcome。
Voltairewasimpatienttogo。Andhemightperhapshaveatoncegone，hadFreytagbeenclearlyinstructed，soastoknowtheessentialfromtheunessentialhere。Buthewasnot；——poorsubalternFreytaghadtosay，onVoltaire’surgencies:"IwillatoncereporttoBerlin；iftheanswerbe（aswehope），’Allright，’
youarethatmomentatliberty！"Thiswasathingunexpected，astonishingtoVoltaire；athingdemandingpatience，silence:
inthreedaysmore，withsilence，asturnsout，itwouldhavebeenallbeautifullyover，——buthewasnotstronginthosequalities！
Voltaire’sarresthithertohadbeenmerelyonhiswordofhonor，"Ipromise，onmyhonor，nottogobeyondtheGardenofthisInn。"
Buthenow，withoutwarninganybody，privatelyrevokedsaidwordofhonor；andColliniandhe，nextmorning，whiskedshiftilyintoahackney—coach，andwereontheedgeofbeingclearoff。
ToFreytag’sterrorandhorror；who，however，caughtthemintime:
andwasrigorousenoughnow，andloudenough；——street—mobgatheringroundthetransaction；Voltaireveryloud，andFreytagtoo，——themattertakingfirehere；andscenesoccurring，whichVoltairehaspaintedinahighlyflagrantmanner！
Onthethirdday，AnswerfromBerlinhadcome，asexpected；answer（astotheoldscore）:"Allright；lethimgo！"ButtopunctualFreytag’smind，hereisnowanewconsiderableitemofsundries:
insulttohisMajesty，towit；breakinghisMajesty’sarrest，insuchinsolentloudmanner:——andFreytagfindsthathemustwriteanew。Postisveryslow；and，thoughFredersdorfanswersconstantly，fromBerlin，"Lethimgo，lethimgo，"therehavetobewritingsandre—writings；anditisnottillJuly7th（afteradetention，notofnearlythreeweeks，asitmightandwouldhavebeen，butoffiveandaday）thatVoltairegetsoff，andthentooatfullgallop，andinaveryunseemlyway。
Thisisauthenticallytheworld—famousFrankfurtAffair；——donebyFredersdorf，aswesay；Friedrich，absentinSilesia，orinPreusseneven，havingnohandinit，excepttheoriginalOrderleftwithFredersdorf。Voltairehasusedhisflamingestcolorsonthisoccasion，beingindeeddreadfullyprovokedandchagrined；
paintingthethinginaveryflagrantmanner，——knowntoallreaders。Voltaire’sflagrantNarrativehadtheroundoftheworldtoitself，forahundredyears；anddiditsshareofexecutionagainstFriedrich。Tillatlength，recently，apreciseimpartialhand，theHerrVarnhagen，thoughtoflookingintotheArchives；
andhas，inadistinct，minuteandentertainingway，explainedthetruthofittoeverybody；——leavingtheVoltaireNarrativeinrathersadcondition。[VarnhagenvonEnse，VoltaireinFrankfurtamMayn，1753（separate，ashere，12mo，pp。92；orinBerlinerKalenderfor1846）。]Wehavelittleroom；butmustgive，compressed，fromVarnhagenandtheotherevidences，afewofthecharacteristicpoints。ThestoryfallsintotwoParts。
PARTI。FREDERSDORFSENDSINSTRUCTIONS；THE"OEUVREDE
POESIE"ISGOT；BUT——
APRIL11th，1753（fewdaysafterthatofMaupertuis’sCartel，Voltairehavingsettofiringthroughport—holesagain，andtheKingbeingswiftinhisresolutiononit），FactotumFredersdorf，whohasafree—flowingyetasteadyandcompactpen，directsHerrFreytag，ourResidentatFrankfurt—on—Mayn，ToprocurefromtheAuthoritiesthere，onMajesty’srequest，thenecessarypowers；
thenvigilantlytolookoutforVoltaire’sarrival；todetainthesaidVoltaire，and，ifnecessary，arresthim，tillhedelivercertainarticlesbelongingtohisMajesty:CrossofMerit，GoldKey，printedOEUVREDEPOESIESandWritings（SKRIPTUREN）ofhisMajesty’s；inshort，variousarticles，——thespecificationofwhichissomewhatindistinct。InFredersdorf’swriting，allthis；notsomathematicallyluminousandindisputableasinEichel’sitwouldhavebeen。Freytagputquestions，andtherepassedseveralLettersbetweenFredersdorfandhim；butitwasalwaysuncomfortablyhazytoFreytag，andheneverunderstoodorguessedthattheOEUVREDE
POESIESwasthevitalitem，andtherestformalincomparison。
Whichisjustlyconsideredtohavebeenanunluckycircumstance，asmattersturned。Forhelptohimself，FreytagistotakecounselwithoneHofrathSchmidt；asubstantialexperiencedBurgherofFrankfurt，whoserathshipisPrussian。
APRIL21st，Freytaganswers，ThatSchmidtandhereceivedhisMajesty’sAll—graciousOrdersthedaybeforeyesterday（Posttakeseightdays，itwouldseem）；thattheyhaveprocuredthenecessarypowers；andarenow，andwillbe，diligentlywatchfultoexecutethesame。Which，onemustsay，theyinrightearnestare；
patrollingabout，withlipsstrictlyclosed，eyesvividlyopen；
andhaveamanortwoprivatelyonwatchatthelikelystations，onthepossiblehighways；——andsocontinue，VoltairedoinghisANNALS
OFTHEEMPIRE，andenjoyinghimselfatGotha，forweeksafter，["LeftGotha25thMay"（Clog。inOEuvresdeVoltaire，xxv。192n。）。]——muchunconsciousoftheirpatrolling。
FreytagisinnorespectashiningDiplomatist；——probablysomeEMERITUSLieutenant，doinghisfunctionfor30poundsayear:butdoesitinapracticalsolidmanner。Writeswithstiffbrevity，stiffbutdistinct；withperfectobservanceofgrammarbothinFrenchandGerman；withgoodpracticalsense，andfaithfulefforttodoarightwhathisorderis:notraceof"MonSIR，"of"OEuvredePoesHie，"tobefoundinFreytag；andmost，orall，oftheridiculousbursstuckonhimbyVoltaire，aretobepulledoffagainas——asfibs，orfictions，solacingtotheafflictedWit。
Freytagisnotofquickorbrightintellect:andunluckily，justatthecrisisofVoltaire’sactualarrival，bothSchmidtandFredersdorfareofftoEmbden，wherethereis"GrandMeetingoftheEmbdenShippingCompany"（withcomfortabledividends，letushope），——andhaveleftFreytagtohisownresources，incaseofemergency。
THURSDAY，MAY31st，"abouteightintheevening，"Voltairedoesarrive，——mostprosperousjourneyhitherto，byCassel，Marburg，Warburg，andotherplacesfamousthenorsince；LandgrafofHessen（wiseWilhelm，whomweknew）honorablylodginghim；innkeeperscallinghim"YourExcellency，"or"M。leComte；"——andputsupattheGoldenLionatFrankfurt，whereroomshavebeenordered；
Freytagwellaware，thoughhesaysnothing。