CHAPTERII
TheAbbydelaVille——TheAbbyGaliani——TheNeapolitanDialect——ISetOutforDunkirkonaSecretMissionISucceed——IReturntoParisbyAmiens——MyAdventurebytheWay——M。delaBretonniere——MyReportGivesSatisfaction——IAmPaidFiveHundredLouis——Reflections。
Anewcareerwasopeningbeforeme。Fortunewasstillmyfriend,andIhadallthenecessaryqualitiestosecondtheeffortsoftheblindgoddessonmybehalfsaveone——perseverance。Myimmoderatelifeofpleasureannulledtheeffectofallmyotherqualities。
M。deBernisreceivedmeinhisusualmanner,thatismorelikeafriendthanaminister。HeaskedmeifIhadanyinclinationforasecretmission。
"HaveIthenecessarytalents?"
"Ithinkso。"
"Ihaveaninclinationforallhonestmeansofearningalivelihood,andasformytalentsIwilltakeyourexcellency’sopinionforgranted。"
Thislastobservationmadehimsmile,asIhadintended。
Afterafewwordsspokenatrandomonthememoriesofbygoneyearswhichtimehadnotentirelydefaced,theministertoldmetogototheAbbedelaVilleandusehisname。
Thisabbe,thechiefpermanentofficialoftheforeignoffice,wasamanofcoldtemperament,aprofounddiplomatist,andthesoulofthedepartment,andhighinfavourwithhisexcellencytheminister。HehadservedthestatewellasanagentatTheHague,andhisgratefulkingrewardedhimbygivinghimabishopriconthedayofhisdeath。
Itwasalittlelate,butkingshavenotalwayssufficientleisuretorememberthings。HisheirwasawealthymannamedGamier,whohadformerlybeenchiefcookatM。d’Argenson’s,andhadbecomerichbyprofitingbythefriendshiptheAbbedelaVillehadalwayshadforhim。Thesetwofriends,whowerenearlyofthesameage,haddepositedtheirwillsinthehandsofthesameattorney,andeachhadmadetheotherhisresiduarylegatee。
Aftertheabbehaddeliveredabriefdiscourseonthenatureofsecretmissionsandthediscretionnecessarytothosechargedwiththem,hetoldmethathewouldletmeknowwhenanythingsuitableformepresenteditself。
ImadetheacquaintanceoftheAbbeGaliani,thesecretaryoftheNeapolitanEmbassy。HewasabrothertotheMarquisdeGaliani,ofwhomIshallspeakwhenwecometomyItaliantravels。TheAbbeGalianiwasamanofwit。Hehadaknackofmakingthemostserioussubjectsappearcomic;andbeingagoodtalker,speakingFrenchwiththeineradicableNeapolitanaccent,hewasafavouriteineverycirclehecaredtoenter。TheAbbedelaVilletoldhimthatVoltairehadcomplainedthathisHenriadehadbeentranslatedintoNeapolitanverseinsuchsortthatitexcitedlaughter。
"Voltaireiswrong,"saidGaliani,"fortheNeapolitandialectisofsuchanaturethatitisimpossibletowriteversesinitthatarenotlaughable。Andwhyshouldhebevexed;hewhomakespeoplelaughissureofbeingbeloved。TheNeapolitandialectistrulyasingularone;wehaveitintranslationsoftheBibleandoftheIliad,andbotharecomic。"
"IcanimaginethattheBiblewouldbe,butIshouldnothavethoughtthatwouldhavebeenthecasewiththeIliad。"
"Itis,nevertheless。"
IdidnotreturntoParistillthedaybeforethedepartureofMdlle。
delaMeure,nowMadameP————。Ifeltindutyboundtogoandseeher,togivehermycongratulations,andtowishherapleasantjourney。Ifoundheringoodspiritsandquiteatherease,and,farfrombeingvexedatthis,Iwaspleased,acertainsignthatIwascured。Wetalkedwithouttheslightestconstraint,andIthoughtherhusbandaperfectgentleman。HeinvitedustovisithimatDunkirk,andIpromisedtogowithoutintendingtodoso,butthefateswilledotherwise。
Tirettawasnowleftalonewithhisdarling,whogrewmoreinfatuatedwithherStrephoneveryday,sowelldidheprovehisloveforher。
Withamindatease,InowsetmyselftosentimentalizewithMdlle。
Baletti,whogavemeeverydaysomenewmarkoftheprogressIwasmaking。
ThefriendshipandrespectIboreherfamilymadetheideaofseductionoutofthequestion,butasIgrewmoreandmoreinlovewithher,andhadnothoughtsofmarriage,IshouldhavebeenpuzzledtosayatwhatendIwasaiming,soIletmyselfglidealongthestreamwithoutthinkingwhereIwasgoing。
InthebeginningofMaytheAbbedeBernistoldmetocomeandcallonhimatVersailles,butfirsttoseetheAbbedelaVille。ThefirstquestiontheabbeaskedmewaswhetherIthoughtmyselfcapableofpayingavisittoeightortenmen—of—warintheroadsatDunkirk,ofmakingtheacquaintanceoftheofficers,andofcompletingaminuteandcircumstantialreportonthevictualling,thenumberofseamen,theguns,ammunition,discipline,etc。,etc。
"Iwillmaketheattempt,"Isaid,"andwillhandyouinmyreportonmyreturn,anditwillbeforyoutosayifIhavesucceededornot。"
"Asthisisasecretmission,Icannotgiveyoualetterofcommendation;Icanonlygiveyousomemoneyandwishyouapleasantjourney。"
"Idonotwishtobepaidinadvance——onmyreturnyoucangivemewhatyouthinkfit。Ishallwantthreeorfourdaysbeforesettingout,asImustprocuresomelettersofintroduction。"
"Verygood。Trytocomebackbeforetheendofthemonth。Ihavenofurtherinstructionstogiveyou。"
OnthesamedayIhadsomeconversationatthePalaisBourbonwithmypatron,whocouldnotadmiresufficientlymydelicacyinrefusingpaymentinadvance;andtakingadvantageofmyhavingdonesohemademeacceptapacketofahundredLouis。ThiswasthelastoccasiononwhichImadeuseofhispurse;IdidnotborrowfromhimatRomefourteenyearsafterwards。
"Asyouareonasecretmission,mydearCasanova,Icannotgiveyouapassport。Iamsorryforit,butifIdidsoyourobjectwouldbesuspected。However,youwilleasilybeabletogetonefromthefirstgentlemanofthechamber,onsomepretextorother。Silviawillbemoreusefultoyouinthatwaythananybodyelse。Youquiteunderstandhowdiscreetyourbehaviourmustbe。Aboveall,donotgetintoanytrouble;forIsupposeyouknowthat,ifanythinghappenedtoyou,itwouldbeofnousetotalkofyourmission。Weshouldbeobligedtoknownothingaboutyou,forambassadorsaretheonlyavowedspies。Rememberthatyoumustbeevenmorecarefulandreservedthanthey,andyet,ifyouwishtosucceed,allthismustbeconcealed,andyoumusthaveanairoffreedomfromconstraintthatyoumayinspireconfidence。If,onyourreturn,youliketoshewmeyourreportbeforehandingitin,Iwilltellyouwhatmayrequiretobeleftoutoradded。"
Fullofthisaffair,theimportanceofwhichIexaggeratedinproportiontomyinexperience,ItoldSilviathatIwantedtoaccompanysomeEnglishfriendsasfarasCalais,andthatshewouldobligemebygettingmeapassportfromtheDucdeGesvres。Alwaysreadytoobligeme,shesatdowndirectlyandwrotethedukealetter,tellingmetodeliveritmyselfsincemypersonaldescriptionwasnecessary。ThesepassportscarrylegalweightintheIsledeFranceonly,buttheyprocureonerespectinallthenorthernpartsofthekingdom。
FortifiedwithSilvia’sletter,andaccompaniedbyherhusband,I
wenttothedukewhowasathisestateatSt。Toro,andhehadscarcelyreadtheletterthroughbeforehegavemethepassport。
SatisfiedonthispointIwenttoVillette,andaskedMadameifshehadanythingIcouldtaketoherniece。"Youcantakehertheboxofchinastatuettes,"saidshe,"ifM。Cornemanhasnotsentthemalready。"Icalledonthebankerwhogavemethebox,andinreturnforahundredLouisaletterofcreditonaDunkirkhouse。Ibeggedhimtonamemeintheletterinaspecialmanner,asIwasgoingforthesakeofpleasure。Heseemedgladtoobligeme,andIstartedthesameevening,andthreedayslaterIwasatthe"HoteldelaConciergerie,"inDunkirk。
AnhouraftermyarrivalIgavethecharmingMadameP————anagreeablesurprisebyhandingherthebox,andgivingherheraunt’smessages。Justasshewaspraisingherhusband,andtellingmehowhappyshewas,hecamein,sayinghewasdelightedtoseemeandaskedmetostayinhishouse,withoutenquiringwhethermystayinDunkirkwouldbealongorshortone。Iofcoursethankedhim,andafterpromisingtodinenowandagainathishouseIbeggedhimtotakemetothebankeronwhomIhadaletter。
Thebankerreadmyletter,andgavemethehundredlouis,andaskedmetowaitforhimatmyinnwherehewouldcomeformewiththegovernor,aM。deBarail。Thisgentlemanwho,likemostFrenchmen,wasverypolite,aftermakingsomeordinaryenquiries,askedmetosupwithhimandhiswifewhowasstillattheplay。TheladygavemeaskindareceptionasIhadreceivedfromherhusband。Afterwehadpartakenofanexcellentsupperseveralpersonsarrived,andplaycommencedinwhichIdidnotjoin,asIwishedtostudythesocietyoftheplace,andaboveallcertainofficersofbothserviceswhowerepresent。Bymeansofspeakingwithanairofauthorityaboutnavalmatters,andbysayingthatIhadservedinthenavyoftheVenetianRepublic,inthreedaysInotonlyknewbutwasintimatewithallthecaptainsoftheDunkirkfleet。Italkedatrandomaboutnavalarchitecture,ontheVenetiansystemofmanoeuvres,andI
noticedthatthejollysailorswerebetterpleasedatmyblundersthanatmysensibleremarks。
FourdaysafterIhadbeenatDunkirk,oneofthecaptainsaskedmetodinneronhisship,andafterthatalltheothersdidthesame;
andoneveryoccasionIstayedintheshipfortherestoftheday。
Iwascuriousabouteverything——andJackissotrustful!Iwentintothehold,Iaskedquestionsinnumerable,andIfoundplentyofyoungofficersdelightedtoshewtheirownimportance,whogossippedwithoutneedinganyencouragementfromme。Itookcare,however,tolearneverythingwhichwouldbeofservicetome,andintheeveningsIputdownonpaperallthementalnotesIhadmadeduringtheday。
FourorfivehourswasallIallowedmyselfforsleep,andinfifteendaysIhadlearntenough。
Pleasure,gaming,andidleness——myusualcompanions——hadnopartinthisexpedition,andIdevotedallmyenergiestotheobjectofmymission。Idinedoncewiththebanker,oncewithMadameP————,inthetown,andonceinaprettycountryhousewhichherhusbandhad,ataboutaleague’sdistancefromDunkirk。Shetookmethereherself,andonfindingmyselfalonewiththewomanIhadlovedsowellIdelightedherbythedelicacyofmybehaviour,whichwasmarkedonlybyrespectandfriendship。AsIstillthoughthercharming,andasourconnectionhadonlyendedsixweeksago,Iwasastonishedtoseemyselfsoquiet,knowingmydispositiontoowelltoattributemyrestrainttovirtue。What,then,wasthereason?AnItalianproverb,speakingfornature,givesthetruesolutionoftheriddle。
’LaMonanonvuolpensieri’,andmyheadwasfullofthought。
Mytaskwasdone,andbiddinggood—byetoallmyfriends,Isetoutinmypost—chaiseforParis,goingbyanotherwayforthesakeofthechange。Aboutmidnight,onmyaskingforhorsesatsomestage,thenameofwhichIforget,theytoldmethatthenextstagewasthefortifiedtownofAire,whichweshouldnotbeallowedtopassthroughatmidnight。
"Getmethehorses,"saidI,"Iwillmakethemopenthegates。"
Iwasobeyed,andinduetimewereachedthegates。
Thepostillioncrackedhiswhipandthesentrycalledout,"Whogoesthere?"
"Expressmessenger。"
Aftermakingmewaitforanhourthegatewasopened,andIwastoldthatImustgoandspeaktothegovernor。Ididso,frettingandfumingonmywayasifIweresomegreatperson,andIwastakentoaroomwhereamaninanelegantnightcapwaslyingbesideaveryprettywoman。
"Whosemessengerareyou?"
"Nobody’s,butasIaminahurry。"
"Thatwilldo。Wewilltalkthematterovertomorrow。Inthemeanwhileyouwillacceptthehospitalityoftheguard—room。"
"But,sir……"
"Butmenobuts,ifyouplease;leavetheroom。"
Iwastakentotheguard—roomwhereIspentthenightseatedontheground。Thedaylightappeared。Ishouted,swore,madealltheracketIcould,saidIwantedtogoon,butnobodytookanynoticeofme。
Teno’clockstruck。MoreimpatientthanIcansay,Iraisedmyvoiceandspoketotheofficer,tellinghimthatthegovernormightassassinatemeifheliked,buthadnorighttodenymepenandpaper,ortodeprivemeofthepowerofsendingamessengertoParis。
"Yourname,sir?"
"Hereismypassport。"
Hetoldmethathewouldtakeittothegovernor,butIsnatcheditawayfromhim。
"Wouldyouliketoseethegovernor?"
"Yes,Ishould。"
Westartedforthegovernor’sapartments。Theofficerwasthefirsttoenter,andintwominutescameoutagainandbroughtmein。I
gaveupmypassportinproudsilence。Thegovernorreaditthrough,examiningmeallthewhiletoseeifIwasthepersondescribed;hethengaveitmeback,tellingmethatIwasfreetogowhereIliked。
"Notsofast,sir,Iamnotinsuchahurrynow。IshallsendamessengertoParisandwaithisreturn;forbystoppingmeonmyjourneyyouhaveviolatedalltherightsofthesubject。"
"Youviolatedthemyourselfincallingyourselfamessenger。"
"Notatall;ItoldyouthatIwasnotone。"
"Yes,butyoutoldyourpostillionthatyouwere,andthatcomestothesamething。"
"Thepostillionisaliar,Itoldhimnothingofthekind。"
"Whydidn’tyoushewyourpassport?"
"Whydidn’tyougivemetimetodoso?Inthecourseofthenextfewdaysweshallseewhoisright。"
"Justasyouplease。"
Iwentoutwiththeofficerwhotookmetotheposting—place,andaminuteafterwardsmycarriagedrewup。Theposting—placewasalsoaninn,andItoldthelandlordtohaveaspecialmessengerreadytocarryoutmyorders,togivemeagoodroomandagoodbed,andtoservemesomerichsoupimmediately;andIwarnedhimthatIwasaccustomedtogoodfare。Ihadmyportmanteauandallmybelongingstakenintomyroom,andhavingwashedandputonmydressing—gownI
satdowntowrite,towhomIdidnotknow,forIwasquitewronginmycontention。However,Ihadbegunbyplayingthegreatman,andI
thoughtmyselfboundinhonourtosustainthepart,withoutthinkingwhetherIstoodtohavetobackoutofitorno。AllthesameIwasvexedathavingtowaitinAiretillthereturnofthemessenger,whomIwasabouttosendtothe—moon!Inthemeanwhile,nothavingclosedaneyeallnight,Ideterminedtotakearest。Iwassittinginmyshirt—sleevesandeatingthesoupwhichhadbeenservedtome,whenthegovernorcameinunaccompanied。Iwasbothsurprisedanddelightedtoseehim。
"Iamsorryforwhathashappened,sir,andaboveallthatyouthinkyouhavegoodreasonforcomplaint,inasmuchasIonlydidmyduty,forhowwasItoimaginethatyourpostillionhadcalledyouamessengeronhisownresponsibility。"
"That’sallverywell,sir,butyoursenseofdutyneednothavemadeyoudrivemefromyourroom。"
"Iwasinneedofsleep。"
"Iaminthesamepositionatthepresentmoment,butafeelingofpolitenesspreventsmefromimitatingyourexample。"
"MayIaskifyouhaveeverbeenintheservice?"
"Ihaveservedbylandandsea,andhaveleftoffwhenmostpeopleareonlybeginning。"
"Inthatcaseyouwillbeawarethatthegatesofafortifiedtownareonlyopenedbynighttotheking’smessengersortomilitarysuperiors。"
"Yes,Iknow;butsincetheywereopenedthethingwasdone,andyoumightaswellhavebeenpolite。"
"Willyounotputonyourclothes,andwalkashortdistancewithme!"
Hisinvitationpleasedmeaswellashispridehaddispleasedme。I
hadbeenthinkingofaduelasapossiblesolutionofthedifficulty,butthepresentcoursetookalltroubleoutofmyhands。Iansweredquietlyandpolitelythatthehonourofwalkingwithhimwouldbeenoughtomakemeputoffallothercalls,andIaskedhimtobeseatedwhileImadehastetodressmyself。
Idrewonmybreeches,throwingthesplendidpistolsinmypocketsontothebed,calledupthebarber,andintenminuteswasready。I
putonmysword,andwewentout。
Wewalkedsilentlyenoughalongtwoorthreestreets,passedthroughagate,upacourt,tillwegottoadoorwheremyguidestoppedshort。Heaskedmetocomein,andIfoundmyselfinafineroomfullofpeople。Ididnotthinkofgoingback,butbehavedasifI
hadbeeninmyownhouse。
"Sir—mywife,"saidthegovernor;andturningtoherwithoutpausing,"hereisM。deCasanova,whohascometodinnerwithus。"
"Iamdelightedtohearit,sir,asotherwiseIshouldhavehadnochanceofforgivingyouforwakingmeuptheothernight。"
"Ipaiddearlyformyfault,madam,butafterthepurgatoryIhadenduredIamsureyouwillallowmetobehappyinthisparadise。"
Sheansweredwithacharmingsmile,andafteraskingmetositbesidehershecontinuedwhateverconversationwaspossibleinthemidstofagameatcards。
Ifoundmyselfcompletelyoutwitted,butthethingwasdonesopleasantlythatallIcoulddowastoputagoodfaceonit——afeatwhichIfoundsufficientlyeasyfromthereliefIfeltatnolongerbeingboundtosendamessengertoIdidnotknowwhom。
Thegovernorwellsatisfiedwithhisvictory,gotallatonceintohighspirits,andbegantotalkaboutmilitarymatters,theCourt,andongeneraltopics,oftenaddressingmewiththatfriendlyeasewhichgoodFrenchsocietyknowssowellhowtoreconcilewiththerulesofpoliteness;noonecouldhaveguessedthattherehadeverbeentheslightestdifferencebetweenus。Hehadmadehimselftheheroofthepiecebythedexterousmannerinwhichhehadleduptothesituation,butIhadafairclaimtothesecondplace,forI
hadmadeanexperiencedofficerhighincommandgivemethemostflatteringkindofsatisfaction,whichborewitnesstotheesteemwithwhichIhadinspiredhim。
Thedinnerwasserved。Thesuccessofmypartdependedonthemannerinwhichitwasplayed,andmywithasseldombeenkeenerthanduringthismeal。Thewholeconversationwasinapleasantvein,andItookgreatcaretogivethegovernor’swifeopportunitiesforshininginit。Shewasacharmingandprettywoman,stillquiteyouthful,forshewasatleastthirtyyearsyoungerthanthegovernor。Nothingwassaidaboutmysixhours’stayintheguard—room,butatdessertthegovernorescapedspeakingplainlybyajokethatwasnotworththetroubleofmaking。
"You’reaniceman,"saidhe,"tothinkIwasgoingtofightyou。
Ah!ha!Ihavecaughtyou,haven’tI?"
"WhotoldyouthatIwasmeditatingaduel?"
"Confessthatsuchwasthecase?"
"Iprotest;thereisagreatdifferencebetweenbelievingandsupposing;theoneispositive,theothermerelyhypothetical。I
mustconfess,however,thatyourinvitationtotakeawalkrousedmycuriosityastowhatwastocomenext,andIadmireyourwit。ButyoumustbelievemethatIdonotregardmyselfascaughtinatrap——
farfromthat,IamsowellpleasedthatIfeelgratefultoyou。"
Intheafternoonwealltookawalk,andIgavemyarmtothecharmingmistressofthehouse。IntheeveningItookmyleave,andsetoutearlythenextdayhavingmadeafaircopyofmyreport。
Atfiveo’clockinthemorningIwasfastasleepinmycarriage,whenIwassuddenlyawakened。WewereatthegateofAmiens。Thefellowatthedoorwasanexciseman——araceeverywheredetestedandwithgoodcause,forbesidestheinsolenceoftheirmannersnothingmakesamanfeelmorelikeaslavethantheinquisitorialsearchtheyareaccustomedtomakethroughone’sclothesandmostsecretpossessions。
HeaskedmeifIhadanythingcontraband;andbeinginabadtemperatbeingdeprivedofmysleeptoanswersuchaquestionIrepliedwithanoaththatIhadnothingofthesort,andthathewouldhavedonebettertoletmesleep。
"Asyoutalkinthatstyle,"saidthecreature,,"wewillseewhatwecansee。"
Heorderedthepostilliontopassonwiththecarriage。Hehadmyluggagehauleddown,andnotbeingabletohinderhimIfumedinsilence。
Isawmymistake,buttherewasnothingtobedone;andhavingnocontrabandgoodsIhadnothingtofear,butmybadtempercostmetwowearyhoursofdelay。Thejoysofvengeanceweredepictedonthefeaturesoftheexciseman。AtthetimeofwhichIamwritingthesegaugerswerethedregsofthepeople,butwouldbecometractableonbeingtreatedwithalittlepoliteness。Thesumoftwenty—foursousgivenwithgoodgracewouldmakethemassuppleasapairofgloves;
theywouldbowtothetravellers,wishthemapleasantjourney,andgivenotrouble。Iknewallthis,buttherearetimeswhenamanactsmechanicallyasIhaddone,unfortunately。
Thescoundrelsemptiedmyboxesandunfoldedeverythingeventomyshirts,betweenwhichtheysaidImighthaveconcealedEnglishlace。
Aftersearchingeverythingtheygavemebackmykeys,buttheyhadnotyetdonewithus;theybegantosearchmycarriage。Therascalwhowasattheheadofthembegantoshout"victory,"hehaddiscoveredtheremainderofapoundofsnuffwhichIhadboughtatSt。OmeronmywaytoDunkirk。
Withavoiceoftriumphthechiefexcisemangaveordersthatmycarriageshouldbeseized,andwarnedmethatIwouldhavetopayafineoftwelvehundredfrancs。
Forthenoncemypatiencewasexhausted,andIleavethenamesI
calledthemtotheimaginationofthereader;buttheywereproofagainstwords。Itoldthemtotakemetothesuperintendent’s。
"Youcangoifyoulike,"saidthey,"wearenotyourservants。"
Surroundedbyacuriouscrowd,whomthenoisehaddrawntogether,I
begantowalkhurriedlytowardsthetown,andenteringthefirstopenshopIcameto,Ibeggedtheshopkeepertotakemetothesuperintendent’s。AsIwastellingthecircumstancesofthecase,amanofgoodappearance,whohappenedtobeintheshop,saidthathewouldbegladtoshowmethewayhimself,thoughhedidnotthinkI
shouldfindthesuperintendentin,ashewoulddoubtlessbewarnedofmycoming。
"Withoutyourpayingeitherthefineorcautionmoney,"saidhe,"youwillfinditahardmattertogetyourselfoutofthedifficulty。"
Ientreatedhimtoshewmethewaytothesuperintendent’s,andnottotroubleaboutanythingelse。Headvisedmetogivetherabblealouistobuydrink,andthustoridmyselfofthem,onwhichIgavehimthelouis,begginghimtoseetoithimself,andthebargainwassoonstruck。Hewasaworthyattorney,andknewhismen。
Wegottothesuperintendent’s;but,asmyguidehadwarnedme,mygentlemanwasnottobeseen。Theportertoldusthathehadgoneoutalone,thathewouldnotbebackbeforenight,andthathedidnotknowwherehehadgone。
"There’sawholedaylost,then,"saidtheattorney。
"Letusgoandhunthimup;hemusthavewell—knownresortsandfriends,andwewillfindthemout。Iwillgiveyoualouisfortheday’swork;willthatbeenough?"
"Ample。"
Wespentinvainfourhoursinlookingforthesuperintendentintenortwelvehouses。Ispoketothemastersofallofthem,exaggeratingconsiderablytheinjurythathadbeendonetome。Iwaslistenedto,condoledwith,andcomfortedwiththeremarkthathewouldcertainlybeobligedtoreturntohishouseatnight,andthenhecouldnothelphearingwhatIhadtosay。Thatwouldnotsuitme,soIcontinuedthechase。
Atoneo’clocktheattorneytookmetoanoldlady,whowasthoughtagreatdealofinthetown。Shewasdiningallbyherself。Aftergivinggreatattentiontomystory,shesaidthatshedidnotthinkshecouldbedoingwrongintellingastrangerthewhereaboutsofanindividualwho,invirtueofhisoffice,oughtnevertobeinaccessible。
"Andso,sir,Imayrevealtoyouwhatafterallisnosecret。MydaughtertoldmeyesterdayeveningthatshewasgoingtodineatMadameN————’s,andthatthesuperintendentwastobethere。Doyougoafterhimnow,andyouwillfindhimattableinthebestsocietyinAmiens,but,"saidshe,withasmile,"Iadviseyounottogiveyournameatthedoor。Thenumerousservantswillshewyouthewaywithoutaskingforyourname。Youcanthenspeaktohimwhetherhelikesitornot,andthoughyoudon’tknowhimhewillhearallyousay。IamsorrythatIcannotbepresentatsofineasituation。"
Igratefullytookleaveoftheworthylady,andIsetoffinallhastetothehouseIhadbeentoldof,theattorney,whowasalmosttiredout,accompanyingme。WithouttheleastdifficultyheandI
slippedinbetweenthecrowdsofservantstillwegottoahallwherethereweremorethantwentypeoplesittingdowntoarichanddelicaterepast。
"Ladiesandgentlemen,youwillexcusemytroublingyourquietonthisfestiveoccasionwithataleofterror。"
Atthesewords,utteredinthevoiceofJupiterTonans,everybodyrose。Thesurpriseofthehigh—borncompanyofknightsandladiesatmyapparitioncaneasilybeimagined。
"Sinceseveno’clockthismorningIhavebeensearchingfromdoortodoorandfromstreettostreetforhishonourthesuperintendent,whomIhaveatlastbeenfortunateenoughtofindhere,forIknowperfectlywellthatheispresent,andthatifhehaveearshehearsmenow。Iamcometorequesthimtoorderhisscoundrellymyrmidonswhohaveseizedmycarriagetogiveitup,sothatImaycontinuemyjourney。Ifthelawsbidmepaytwelvehundredfrancsforsevenouncesofsnuffformyownprivateuse,IrenouncethoselawsanddeclarethatIwillnotpayafarthing。Ishallstayhereandsendamessengertomyambassador,whowillcomplainthatthe’jusgentium’
hasbeenviolatedintheIle—de—Franceinmyperson,andIwillhavereparation。LouisXV。isgreatenoughtorefusetobecomeanaccompliceinthisstrangeonslaught。Andifthatsatisfactionwhichismylawfulrightisnotgrantedme,Iwillmakethethinganaffairofstate,andmyRepublicwillnotrevengeitselfbyassaultingFrenchmenforafewpinchesofsnuff,butwillexpelthemallrootandbranch。IfyouwanttoknowwhomIam,readthis。"
Foamingwithrage,Ithrewmypassportonthetable。
Amanpickeditupandreadit,andIknewhimtobethesuperintendent。WhilemypaperswerebeinghandedroundIsawexpressedoneveryfacesurpriseandindignation,butthesuperintendentrepliedhaughtilythathewasatAmienstoadministerjustice,andthatIcouldnotleavethetownunlessIpaidthefineorgavesurety。
"Ifyouareheretodojustice,youwilllookuponmypassportasapositivecommandtospeedmeonmyway,andIbidyouyourselfbemysuretyifyouareagentleman。"
"Doeshighbirthgobailforbreachesofthelawinyourcountry?"
"Inmycountrymenofhighbirthdonotcondescendtotakedishonourableemployments。"
"Noserviceunderthekingcanbedishonourable。"
"Thehangmanwouldsaythesamething。"
"Takecarewhatyousay。"
"Takecarewhatyoudo。Know,sir,thatIamafreemanwhohasbeengrievouslyoutraged,andknow,too,thatIfearnoone。Throwmeoutofthewindow,ifyoudare。"
"Sir,"saidaladytomeinthevoiceofthemistressofthehouse,"inmyhousethereisnothrowingoutofwindows。"
"Madam,anangrymanmakesuseoftermswhichhisbetterreasondisowns。Iamwrongedbyamostcruelactofinjustice,andIhumblycraveyourpardonforhavingoffendedyou。PleasetoreflectthatforthefirsttimeinmylifeIhavebeenoppressedandinsulted,andthatinakingdomwhereIthoughtmyselfsafefromallbuthighwayrobbers。ForthemIhavemypistols,andfortheworthysuperintendentsIhaveapassport,butIfindthelatteruseless。
ForthesakeofsevenouncesofsnuffwhichIboughtatSt。Omerthreeweeksago,thisgentlemanrobsmeandinterruptsmyjourney,thoughtheking’smajestyismysuretythatnooneshallinterferewithme;hecallsonmetopayfiftylouis,hedeliversmetotherageofhisimpudentmenialsandtothederisionofthemob,fromwhomIhadtoridmyselfbymymoneyandtheaidofthisworthymanbesideme。Iamtreatedlikeascoundrel,andthemanwhoshouldhavebeenmydefenderanddelivererslinksawayandhideshimself,andaddstotheinsultsIhavereceived。Hismyrmidonshaveturnedmyclothesupsidedown,andpitchforkedmylinenatthefootofthetowngates,torevengethemselvesonmefornotgivingthemtwenty,foursous。To—morrowthemannerinwhichIhavebeentreatedwillbeknowntothediplomaticbodiesatVersaillesandParis,andinafewdaysitwillbeinallthenewspapers。IwillpaynotafarthingbecauseIowenotafarthing。Now,sir,amItosendacouriertotheDucdeGesvres?"
"Whatyouhavegottodoistopay,andifyoudonotcaretopay,youmaydowhateveryoulike。"
"Then,ladiesandgentlemen,good—bye。Asforyou,sir,weshallmeetagain。"
AsIwasrushingoutoftheroomlikeamadman,IheardsomebodycallingouttomeingoodItaliantowaitaminute。Iturnedround,andsawthevoicehadproceededfromamanpastmiddleage,whoaddressedthesuperintendentthus:——
"Letthisgentlemanproceedonhisjourney;Iwillgobailforhim。
Doyouunderstandme,superintendent?Iwillbehissurety。Youdon’tknowtheseItalians。IwentthroughthewholeofthelastwarinItaly,andIunderstandthenationalcharacter。Besides,Ithinkthegentlemanisintheright。"
"Verygood,"saidtheofficial,turningtome。"Allyouhavetodoistopayamatterofthirtyorfortyfrancsatthecustoms’officeastheaffairisalreadybooked。"
"IthoughtItoldyouthatIwouldnotpayasinglefarthing,andI
tellityouagain。Butwhoareyou,sir,"saidI,turningtotheworthyoldman,"whoaregoodenoughtobecomesuretyformewithoutknowingme?"
"Iamacommissaryofmusters,sir,andmynameisdelaBretonniere。
IliveinParisatthe’HoteldeSaxe,’RueColombien,whereIshallbegladtoseeyouafterto—morrow。WewillgotogethertoM。
Britard,who,afterhearingyourcase,willdischargemybail。"
AfterIhadexpressedmygratitude,andtoldhimthatIwouldwaituponhimwithoutfail,Imademyexcusestothemistressofthehouseandtheguests,andleftthem。
Itookmyworthyattorneytodinneratthebestinnintheplace,andIgavehimtwolouisforhistrouble。WithouthishelpandthatofthecommissaryIshouldhavebeeningreatdifficulty;itwouldhavebeenacaseoftheearthenpotandtheironpotoveragain;forwithjacks—in—officereasonisofnouse,andthoughIhadplentyofmoneyIwouldneverhaveletthewretchesrobmeoffiftylouis。
Mycarriagewasdrawnupatthedoorofthetavern;andjustasIwasgettingin,oneoftheexcisemenwhohadsearchedmyluggagecameandtoldmethatIshouldfindeverythingjustasIleftit:——
"Iwonderatthatsinceithasbeenleftinthehandsofmenofyourstamp;shallIfindthesnuff?"
"Thesnuffhasbeenconfiscated,mylord。"
"Iamsorryforyou,then;forifithadbeenthereIwouldhavegivenyoualouis。"
"Iwillgoandlookforitdirectly。"
"Ihavenotimetowaitforit。Driveon,postillion。"
IgottoParisthenextday,andfourdaysafterIwaitedonM。delaBretonniere,whogavemeaheartywelcome,andtookmetoM。
Britard,thefermier—general,whodischargedhisbail。ThisM。
Britardwasapleasantyoungman。HeblushedwhenheheardallIhadgonethrough。
ItookmyreporttoM。deBernis,atthe"HotelBourbon,"andhisexcellencespenttwohoursoverit,makingmetakeoutallunnecessarymatter。Ispentthetimeinmakingafaircopy,andthenextdayItookittoM。delaVille,whoreaditthroughinsilence,andtoldmethathewouldletmeknowtheresult。AmonthafterI
receivedfivehundredlouis,andIhadthepleasureofhearingthatM。deCremille,thefirstlordoftheadmiralty,hadpronouncedmyreporttobenotonlyperfectlyaccuratebutverysuggestive。
Certainreasonableapprehensionspreventedmefrommakingmyselfknowntohim——anhonourwhichM。deBerniswishedtoprocureforme。
WhenItoldhimmyadventuresonthewayback,helaughed,butsaidthatthehighestmeritofasecretagentwastokeepoutofdifficulties;forthoughhemighthavethetacttoextricatehimselffromthem,yethegottalkedof,whichitshouldbehischiefcaretoavoid。
Thismissioncosttheadmiraltytwelvethousandfrancs,andtheministermighteasilyhaveprocuredalltheinformationIgavehimwithoutspendingapenny。Anyintelligentyoungnavalofficerwouldhavedoneitjustaswell,andwouldhaveacquittedhimselfwithzealanddiscretion,togainthegoodopinionoftheministers。ButalltheFrenchministersarethesame。Theylavishedmoneywhichcameoutofotherpeople’spocketstoenrichtheircreatures,andtheywereabsolute;thedowntroddenpeoplecountedfornothing,andofthiscoursetheindebtednessofthestateandtheconfusionofthefinancesweretheinevitableresults。ItisquitetruethattheRevolutionwasanecessity,butitshouldhavebeenmarkedwithpatriotismandrightfeeling,notwithblood。However,thenobilityandclergywerenotmenofsufficientgenerositytomakethenecessarysacrificestotheking,thestate,andtothemselves。
SilviawasmuchamusedatmyadventuresatAireandAmiens,andhercharmingdaughtershewedmuchpityforthebadnightIhadpassedintheguard—room。ItoldherthatthehardshipwouldhavebeenmuchlessifIhadhadawifebesideme。Sherepliedthatawife,ifagoodone,wouldhavebeenonlytoohappytoalleviatemytroublesbysharinginthem,buthermotherobservedthatawomanofparts,afterseeingtothesafetyofmybaggageandmycoach,wouldhavebusiedherselfintakingthenecessarystepsforsettingmeatliberty,andIsupportedthisopinionasbestindicatingtherealdutyofagoodwife。
CHAPTERIII
TheCountdelaTourD’AuvergneandMadameD’Urfe——Camille——MyPassionfortheCount’sMistress——TheRidiculousIncidentWhichCuredMe——TheCountdeSt。GermainInspiteofmyloveforMdlle。Baletti,Ididnotomittopaymycourttothemostnotedladiesofthepavement;butIwaschieflyinterestedinkeptwomen,andthosewhoconsiderthemselvesasbelongingtothepubliconlyinplayingbeforethemnightbynight,queensorchamber—maids。
Inspiteofthisaffection,theyenjoywhattheycalltheirindependence,eitherbydevotingthemselvestoCupidortoPlutus,andmorefrequentlytobothtogether。Asitisnotverydifficulttomaketheacquaintanceofthesepriestessesofpleasureanddissipation,Isoongottoknowseveralofthem。
Thehallsofthetheatresarecapitalplacesforamateurstoexercisetheirtalentsinintriguing,andIhadprofitedtolerablywellbythelessonsIhadlearntinthisfineschool。
Ibeganbybecomingthefriendoftheirlovers,andIoftensucceededbypretendingtobeamanofwhomnobodyneedbeafraid。
Camille,anactressanddancerattheItalianplay,withwhomIhadfalleninloveatFontainebleusevenyearsago,wasoneofthoseofwhomIwasmostfond,likingthesocietyatherprettylittlehouse,whereshelivedwiththeCountd’Eigreville,whowasafriendofmine,andfondofmycompany。HewasabrotheroftheMarquisdeGamacheandoftheCountessduRumain,andwasafineyoungfellowofanexcellentdisposition。Hewasneversowellpleasedaswhenhesawhismistresssurroundedbypeople——atastewhichisrarelyfound,butwhichisveryconvenient,andthesignofatemperamentnotafflictedbyjealousy。Camillehadnootherlovers——anastonishingthinginanactressofthekind,butbeingfulloftactandwitshedrovenoneofheradmirerstodespair。Shewasneitheroversparingnorovergenerousinthedistributionofherfavours,andknewhowtomakethewholetownraveaboutherwithoutfearingtheresultsofindiscretionorsorrowsofbeingabandoned。
Thegentlemanofwhom,afterherlover,shetookmostnotice,wastheCountdelaTourd’Auvergne,anoblemanofanoldfamily,whoidolizedher,and,notbeingrichenoughtopossessherentirely,hadtobecontentwithwhatshegavehim。Camillehadgivenhimayounggirl,forwhosekeepshepaid,wholivedwithTourd’AuvergneinfurnishedapartmentsintheRuedeTaranne,andwhomhesaidhelovedasonelovesaportrait,becauseshecamefromCamille。ThecountoftentookherwithhimtoCamille’stosupper。Shewasfifteen,simpleinhermanners,andquitedevoidofambition。ShetoldherloverthatshewouldneverforgivehimanactofinfidelityexceptwithCamille,towhomshefeltboundtoyieldallsincetohersheowedall。
IbecamesomuchinlovewithherthatIoftenwenttoCamille’ssolelytoseeherandtoenjoythoseartlessspeecheswithwhichshedelightedthecompany。IstroveasbestIcouldtoconcealmyflame,butoftenIfoundmyselflookingquitesadatthethoughtoftheimpossibilityofmylovebeingcrownedwithsuccess。IfIhadletmypassionbesuspectedIshouldhavebeenlaughedat,andshouldhavemademyselfamarkforthepitilesssarcasmsofCamille。However,I
gotmycureinthefollowingridiculousmanner:——
CamillelivedattheBarriereBlanche,andonleavingherhouse,onerainyevening,Isoughtinvainforacoachtotakemehome。
"MydearCasanova,"saidTourd’Auvergne,"Icandropyouatyourowndoorwithoutgivingmyselftheslightestinconvenience,thoughmycarriageisonlyseatedfortwo;however,mysweetheartcansitonourknees。"
Iacceptedhisofferwithpleasure,andweseatedourselvesinthecarriage,thecountonmylefthandandBabetonbothourknees。
BurningwithamorouspassionIthoughtIwouldtaketheopportunity,and,tolosenotime,asthecoachmanwasdrivingfast,Itookherhandandpresseditsoftly。Thepressurewasreturned。Joy!I
carriedthehandtomylips,andcovereditwithaffectionatethoughnoiselesskisses。Longingtoconvinceheroftheardourofmypassion,andthinkingthatherhandwouldnotrefusetodomeasweetservice,I……butjustatcriticalmoment,"Iamreallyverymuchobligedtoyou,mydearfellow,"saidtheCountdelaTourd’Auvergne,"forapieceofpolitenessthoroughlyItalian,ofwhich,however,Idonotfeelworthy;atleast,Ihopeit’smeantaspolitenessandnotasasignofcontempt。"
AtthesedreadfulwordsIstretchedoutmyhandandfeltthesleeveofhiscoat。Presenceofmindwasnogoodinasituationlikethis,whenhiswordswerefollowedbyapealofloudlaughterwhichwouldhaveconfoundedthehardiestspirit。Asforme,Icouldneitherjoininhislaughternordenyhisaccusation;thesituationwasafearfulone,orwouldhavebeenifthefriendlyshadesofnighthadnotcoveredmyconfusion。Babetdidherbesttofindoutfromthecountwhyhelaughedsomuch,buthecouldnottellherforlaughing,forwhichIgavethankswithallmyheart。Atlastthecarriagestoppedatmyhouse,andassoonasmyservanthadopenedthedoorofmycarriageIgotdownasfastasIcould,andwishedthemgoodnight——acomplimentwhichTourd’Auvergnereturnedwithfreshpealsoflaughter。Ienteredmyhouseinastateofstupefaction,andhalfanhourelapsedbeforeI,too,begantolaughattheadventure。Whatvexedmemostwastheexpectationofhavingmaliciousjestspasseduponme,forIhadnottheleastrighttoreckononthecount’sdiscretion。However,IhadenoughsensetodeterminetojoininthelaughterifIcould,andifnot,totakeitwell,forthisis,andalwayswillbe,thebestwaytogetthelaughersonone’sownsideatParis。
ForthreedaysIsawnothingofthedelightfulcount,andonthefourthIresolvedtoaskhimtotakebreakfastwithme,asCamillehadsenttomyhousetoenquirehowIwas。Myadventurewouldnotpreventmevisitingherhouse,butIwasanxioustoknowhowithadbeentaken。
AssoonasTourd’Auvergnesawmehebegantoroarwithlaughter,andIjoinedin,andwegreetedeachotherinthefriendliestmannerpossible。"Mydearcount,"saidI,"letusforgetthisfoolishstory。Youhavenobusinesstoattackme,asIdonotknowhowtodefendmyself。"
"Whyshouldyoudefendyourself,mydearfellow。Welikeyouallthebetterforit,andthishumorousadventuremakesusmerryeveryevening。"
"Everybodyknowsit,then?"
"Ofcourse,whynot?ItmakesCamillechokewithlaughter。Comethisevening;IwillbringBabet,andshewillamuseyouasshemaintainsthatyouwerenotmistaken。"
"Sheisright。"
"Eh?what?Youdometoomuchhonour,andIdon’tbelieveyou;buthaveitasyoulike。"
"Ican’tdobetter,butImustconfesswhenall’ssaidthatyouwerenotthepersontowhommyfeveredimaginationofferedsuchardenthomage。"
AtsupperIjested,pretendedtobeastonishedatthecount’sindiscretion,andboastedofbeingcuredofmypassion。Babetcalledmeavillain,andmaintainedthatIwasfarfromcured;butshewaswrong,astheincidenthaddisgustedmewithher,andhadattachedmetothecount,who,indeed,wasamanofthemostamiablecharacter。
Nevertheless,ourfriendshipmighthavebeenafatalone,asthereaderwillseepresently。
Oneevening,whenIwasattheItaliantheatre,Tourd’Auvergnecameuptomeandaskedmetolendhimahundredlouis,promisingtorepaymenextSaturday。
"Ihaven’tgotthemoney,"Isaid,"butmypurseandallitcontainsisatyourservice。"
"Iwantahundredlouis,mydearfellow,andimmediately,asIlostthematplayyesterdayeveningatthePrincessofAnhalt’s。"
"ButIhaven’tgotthem。"
"Thereceiverofthelotteryoughtalwaystobeabletoputhishandonahundredlouis。"
"Yes,butIcan’ttouchmycash—box;Ihavetogiveitupthisdayweek。"
"Soyoucan;asIwillrepayyouonSaturday。Takeahundredlouisfromthebox,andputinmywordofhonourinstead;don’tyouthinkthatisworthahundredLouis?"
"Ihavenothingtosaytothat,waitformeaminute。"
Irantomyoffice,tookoutthemoneyandgaveittohim。Saturdaycamebutnocount,andasIhadnomoneyIpawnedmydiamondringandreplacedthehundredlouisIowedthetill。Threeorfourdaysafterwards,asIwasattheComedieFrancaise,theCountdelaTourd’Auvergnecameuptomeandbegantoapologize。Irepliedbyshewingmyhand,andtellinghimthatIhadpawnedmyringtosavemyhonour。Hesaid,withamelancholyair,thatamanhadfailedtokeephiswordwithhim,buthewouldbesuretogivemethehundredlouisontheSaturdayfollowing,adding,"Igiveyoumywordofhonour。"
"Yourwordofhonourisinmybox,solet’ssaynothingaboutthat。
Youcanrepaymewhenyoulike。"
Thecountgrewaspaleasdeath。
"Mywordofhonour,mydearCasanova,ismoreprecioustomethanmylife;andIwillgiveyouthehundredlouisatnineo’clockto—morrowmorningatahundredpacesfromthecaf?attheendoftheChamps—
Elysees。Iwillgiveyoutheminperson,andnobodywillseeus。I
hopeyouwillnotfailtobethere,andthatyouwillbringyoursword。Ishallhavemine。"
"Faith,count!that’smakingmepayratherdearformyjest。Youcertainlydomeagreathonour,butIwouldratherbegyourpardon,ifthatwouldpreventthistroublesomeaffairfromgoinganyfurther。"
"No,Iammoretoblamethanyou,andtheblamecanonlyberemovedbythesword’spoint。Willyoumeetme?
"IdonotseehowIcanrefuseyou,althoughIamverymuchaversetotheaffair。"
IlefthimandwenttoSilvia’s,andtookmysuppersadly,forI
reallylikedthisamiablenobleman,andinmyopinionthegameweweregoingtoplaywasnotworththecandle。IwouldnothavefoughtifIcouldhaveconvincedmyselfthatIwasinthewrong,butafterturningthematterwell—over,andlookingatitfromeverypointofview,Icouldnothelpseeingthatthefaultlayinthecount’sexcessivetouchiness,andIresolvedtogivehimsatisfaction。AtallhazardsIwouldnotfailtokeeptheappointment。
Ireachedthecaf?amomentafterhim。Wetookbreakfasttogetherandhepayed。WethenwentoutandwalkedtowardstheEtoile。Whenwegottoashelteredplacehedrewabundleofahundredlouisfromhispocket,gaveittomewiththegreatestcourtesy,andsaidthatonestrokeoftheswordwouldbesufficient。Icouldnotreply。
Hewentofffourpacesanddrewhissword。Ididthesamewithoutsayingaword,andsteppingforwardalmostassoonasourbladescrossedIthrustandhithim。Idrewbackmyswordandsummonedhimtokeephisword,feelingsurethatIhadwoundedhiminhischest。
Hegentlykissedhissword,andputtinghishandintohisbreasthedrewitoutcoveredwithblood,andsaidpleasantlytome,"Iamsatisfied。"
IsaidtohimallthatIcould,andallthatitwasmydutytosayinthewayofcompliment,whilehewasstanchingthebloodwithhishandkerchief,andonlookingatthepointofmyswordIwasdelightedtofindthatthewoundwasoftheslightest。Itoldhimsoofferingtoseehimhome。Hethankedmeandbeggedmetokeepmyowncounsel,andtoreckonhimhenceforthamongstmytruestfriends。AfterIhadembracedhim,minglingmytearswithmyembraces,Ireturnedhome,sadatheartbuthavinglearntamostusefullesson。Nooneeverknewofourmeeting,andaweekafterwardswesuppedtogetheratCamille’s。
Afewdaysafter,IreceivedfromM。delaVillethefivehundredlouisformyDunkirkmission。OnmygoingtoseeCamilleshetoldmethatTourd’Auvergnewaskeptinbedbyanattackofsciatica,andthatifIlikedwecouldpayhimavisitthenextday。Iagreed,andwewent。AfterbreakfastwasoverItoldhiminaseriousvoicethatifhewouldgivemeafreehandIcouldcurehim,ashewasnotsufferingfromsciaticabutfromamoistandwindyhumourwhichI
coulddispersemymeansoftheTalismanofSolomonandfivemysticwords。Hebegantolaugh,buttoldmetodowhatIliked。
"Verygood,thenIwillgooutandbuyabrush。"
"Iwillsendaservant。"
"No,Imustgetitmyself,asIwantsomedrugsaswell。"Iboughtsomenitre,mercury,flowerofsulphur,andasmallbrush,andonmyreturnsaid,"Imusthavealittleofyour—————,thisliquidisindispensable,anditmustbequitefresh。"
Camilleandhebegantolaugh,butIsucceededinkeepingtheseriousfacesuitabletomyoffice。Ihandedhimamugandmodestlyloweredthecurtains,andhethendidwhatIwanted。
Imadeamixtureofthevariousingredients,andItoldCamillethatshemustrubhisthighwhilstIspokethecharm,butIwarnedherthatifshelaughedwhileshewasaboutititwouldspoilall。Thisthreatonlyincreasedtheirgoodhumour,andtheylaughedwithoutcessation;forassoonastheythoughttheyhadgotoverit,theywouldlookatoneanother,andafterrepressingthemselvesaslongastheycouldwouldburstoutafresh,tillIbegantothinkthatIhadboundthemtoanimpossiblecondition。Atlast,afterholdingtheirsidesforhalfanhour,theysetthemselvestobeseriousinrealearnest,takingmyimperturbablegravityfortheirexample。DelaTourd’Auvergnewasthefirsttoregainaseriousface,andhethenofferedCamillehisthigh,andshe,fancyingherselfontheboards,begantorubthesickman,whilstImumbledinanundertonewordswhichtheywouldnothaveunderstoodhoweverclearlyIhadspoken,seeingthatIdidnotunderstandthemmyself。
IwasnearlyspoilingtheefficacyoftheoperationwhenIsawthegrimacestheymadeintryingtokeepserious。NothingcouldbemoreamusingthantheexpressiononCamille’sface。AtlastItoldherthatshehadrubbedenough,anddippingthebrushintothemixtureI
drewonhisthighthefive—pointedstarcalledSolomon’sseal。I
thenwrappedupthethighinthreenapkins,andItoldhimthatifhewouldkeepquietfortwenty—fourhourswithouttakingoff——hisnapkins,Iwouldguaranteeacure。
Themostamusingpartofitallwas,thatbythetimeIhaddonethecountandCamillelaughednomore,theirfacesworeabewilderedlook,andasforme……IcouldhaveswornIhadperformedthemostwonderfulworkintheworld。Ifonetellsalieasufficientnumberoftimes,oneendsbybelievingit。
Afewminutesafterthisoperation,whichIhadperformedasifbyinstinctandonthespurofthemoment,CamilleandIwentawayinacoach,andItoldhersomanywonderfultalesthatwhenshegotoutatherdoorshelookedquitemazed。
Fourorfivedaysafter,whenIhadalmostforgottenthefarce,I
heardacarriagestoppingatmydoor,andlookingoutofmywindowsawM。delaTourd’Auvergneskippingnimblyoutofthecarriage。
"Youweresureofsuccess,then,"saidhe,"asyoudidnotcometoseemethedayafteryourastoundingoperation。"
"OfcourseIwassure,butifIhadnotbeentoobusyyouwouldhaveseenme,forallthat。"
"MayItakeabath?"
"No,don’tbathetillyoufeelquitewell。"
"Verygood。Everybodyisinastateofastonishmentatyourfeat,asIcouldnothelptellingthemiracletoallmyacquaintances。Therearecertainlysomescepticswholaughatme,butIletthemtalk。"
"Youshouldhavekeptyourowncounsel;youknowwhatParisislike。
Everybodywillbeconsideringmeasamaster—quack。"
"Notatall,notatall。Ihavecometoaskafavourofyou。"
"What’sthat?"
"Ihaveanauntwhoenjoysagreatreputationforherskillintheoccultsciences,especiallyinalchemy。Sheisawomanofwit,very,rich,andsolemistressofherfortune;inshort,knowingherwilldoyounoharm。Shelongstoseeyou,forshepretendstoknowyou,andsaysthatyouarenotwhatyouseem。Shehasentreatedmetotakeyoutodinewithher,andIhopeyouwillaccepttheinvitation。HernameistheMarchionessd’Urfe"
Ididnotknowthislady,butthenameofd’Urfecaughtmyattentiondirectly,asIknewallaboutthefamousAnned’Urfewhoflourishedtowardstheendoftheseventeenthcentury。Theladywasthewidowofhisgreat—grandson,andonmarryingintothefamilybecameabelieverinthemysticaldoctrinesofascienceinwhichIwasmuchinterested,thoughIgaveitlittlecredit。IthereforerepliedthatIshouldbegladtogo,butontheconditionthatthepartyshouldnotexceedthecount,hisaunt,andmyself。
"Shehastwelvepeopleeverydaytodinner,andyouwillfindyourselfinthecompanyofthebestsocietyinParis。"
"Mydearfellow,that’sexactlywhatIdon’twant;forIhatetobethoughtamagician,whichmusthavebeentheeffectofthetalesyouhavetold。"
"Oh,no!notatall;yourcharacteriswellknown,andyouwillfindyourselfinthesocietyofpeoplewhohavethegreatestregardforyou。"
"Areyousureofthat?"
"TheDuchessdel’Oragnaistoldme,that,fourorfiveyearsago,youwereoftentobeseenatthePalaisRoyal,andthatyouusedtospendwholedayswiththeDuchessd’Orleans;MadamedeBouffers,MadamedeBlots,andMadamedeMelforthavealsotalkedtomeaboutyou。Youarewrongnottokeepupyouroldacquaintances。Iknowatleastahundredpeopleofthefirstrankwhoaresufferingfromthesamemaladyasthatofwhichyoucuredme,andwouldgivethehalfoftheirgoodstobecured。"
DelaTourd’Auvergnehadreasononhisside,butasIknewhiswonderfulcurehadbeenduetoasingularcoincidence,Ihadnodesiretoexposemyselftopublicridicule。IthereforetoldhimthatIdidnotwishtobecomeapubliccharacter,andthathemusttellMadamed’UrfethatIwouldhavethehonourofcallingonherinstrictprivacyonly,andthatshemighttellmethedayandhouronwhichIshouldkneelbeforeher。
ThesameeveningIhadaletterfromthecountmakinganappointmentattheTuileriesforthemorrow;hewastomeetmethere,andtakemetohisaunt’stodinner。Nooneelsewastobepresent。
Thenextdaywemeteachotherashadbeenarranged,andwenttoseeMadamed’Urfe,wholivedontheQuaidesTheatins,onthesamesideasthe"HotelBouillon。"
Madamed’Urfe,awomanadvancedinyears,butstillhandsome,receivedmewithallthecourtlygraceoftheCourtoftheRegency。
Wespentanhourandahalfinindifferentconversation,occupiedinstudyingeachother’scharacter。Eachwastryingtogetatthebottomoftheother。
Ihadnotmuchtroubleinplayingthepartoftheunenlightened,forsuch,inpointoffact,wasmystateofmind,andMadamed’Urfeunconsciouslybetrayedthedesireofshewingherlearning;thisputmeatmyease,forIfeltsureIcouldmakeherpleasedwithmeifI
succeededinmakingherpleasedwithherself。
Attwoo’clockthesamedinnerthatwaspreparedeverydayfortwelvewasservedforusthree。Nothingworthyofnote(sofarasconversationwent)wasdoneatdinner,aswetalkedcommonplaceafterthemannerofpeopleoffashion。
AfterthedessertTourd’AuvergneleftustogoandseethePrincedeTurenne,whowasinahighfever,andafterhewasgoneMadamed’Urfebegantodiscussalchemyandmagic,andalltheotherbranchesofherbelovedscience,orratherinfatuation。Whenwegotontothemagnumopus,andIaskedherifsheknewthenatureofthefirstmatter,itwasonlyherpolitenesswhichpreventedherfromlaughing;butcontrollingherself,sherepliedgraciouslythatshealreadypossessedthephilosopher’sstone,andthatshewasacquaintedwithalltheoperationsofthework。Shethenshewedmeacollectionofbookswhichhadbelongedtothegreatd’Urfe,andReneeofSavoy,hiswife;butshehadaddedtoitmanuscriptswhichhadcosthermorethanahundredthousandfrancs。Paracelsuswasherfavouriteauthor,andaccordingtoherhewasneitherman,woman,norhermaphrodite,andhadthemisfortunetopoisonhimselfwithanoverdoseofhispanacea,oruniversalmedicine。SheshewedmeashortmanuscriptinFrench,wherethegreatworkwasclearlyexplained。Shetoldmethatshedidnotkeepitunderlockandkey,becauseitwaswritteninacypher,thesecretofwhichwasknownonlytoherself。
"Youdonotbelieve,then,insteganography。"
"No,sir,andifyouwouldlikeit,Iwillgiveyouthiswhichhasbeencopiedfromtheoriginal。"
"Iacceptit,madam,withallthemoregratitudeinthatIknowitsworth。"
>Fromthelibrarywewentintothelaboratory,atwhichIwastrulyastonished。Sheshewedmematterthathadbeeninthefurnaceforfifteenyears,andwastobethereforfourorfiveyearsmore。Itwasapowderofprojectionwhichwastotransforminstantaneouslyallmetalsintothefinestgold。Sheshewedmeapipebywhichthecoaldescendedtothefurnace,keepingitalwaysatthesameheat。Thelumpsofcoalwereimpelledbytheirownweightatproperintervalsandinequalquantities,sothatshewasoftenthreemonthswithoutlookingatthefurnace,thetemperatureremainingthesamethewholetime。Thecinderswereremovedbyanotherpipe,mostingeniouslycontrived,whichalsoansweredthepurposeofaventilator。
Thecalcinationofmercurywasmerechild’splaytothiswonderfulwoman。Sheshewedmethecalcinedmatter,andsaidthatwheneverI
likedshewouldinstructmeastotheprocess。InextsawtheTreeofDianaofthefamousTaliamed,whosepupilshewas。HisrealnamewasMaillot,andaccordingtoMadamed’Urfehehadnot,aswassupposed,diedatMarseilles,butwasstillalive;"and,"addedshe,withaslightsmile,"Ioftengetlettersfromhim。IftheRegentofFrance,"saidshe,"hadlistenedtomehewouldbealivenow。Hewasmyfirstfriend;hegavemethenameofEgeria,andhemarriedmetoM。d’Urfe"
ShepossessedacommentaryonRaymondLully,whichclearedupalldifficultpointsinthecommentsofArnolddeVillanovaontheworksofRogerBaconandHeber,who,accordingtoher,werestillalive。
Thispreciousmanuscriptwasinanivorycasket,thekeyofwhichshekeptreligiously;indeedherlaboratorywasaclosedroomtoallbutmyself。Isawasmallcaskfullof’platinadelPinto’,whichshetoldmeshecouldtransmuteintogoldwhenshepleased。IthadbeengivenherbyM。Voodhimselfin1743。Sheshewedmethesamemetalinfourphials。Inthefirstthreetheplatinumremainedintactinsulphuric,nitric,andmuriaticacid,butinthefourth,whichcontained’aquaregia’,themetalhadnotbeenabletoresisttheactionoftheacid。Shemelteditwiththeburning—glass,andsaiditcouldbemeltedinnootherway,whichproved,inheropinion,itssuperioritytogold。Sheshewedmesomeprecipitatedbysalammoniac,whichwouldnotprecipitategold。
Herathanorhadbeenalightforfifteenyears。Thetopwasfullofblackcoal,whichmademeconcludethatshehadbeeninthelaboratorytwoorthreedaysbefore。StoppingbeforetheTreeofDiana,Iaskedher,inarespectfulvoice,ifsheagreedwiththosewhosaiditwasonlyfittoamusechildren。Shereplied,inadignifiedmanner,thatshehadmadeittodivertherselfwiththecrystallizationofthesilver,spiritofnitre,andmercury,andthatshelookeduponitasapieceofmetallicvegetation,representinginlittlewhatnatureperformedonalargerscale;butsheadded,veryseriously,thatshecouldmakeaTreeofDianawhichshouldbeaveryTreeoftheSun,whichwouldproducegoldenfruit,whichmightbegathered,andwhichwouldcontinuetobeproducedtillnomoreremainedofacertainingredient。IsaidmodestlythatIcouldnotbelievethethingpossiblewithoutthepowderofprojection,butheronlyanswerwasapleasedsmile。
Shethenpointedoutachinabasincontainingnitre,mercury,andsulphur,andafixedsaltonaplate。
"Youknowtheingredients,Isuppose?"saidshe。
"Yes;thisfixedsaltisasaltofurine。"
"Youareright。"
"Iadmireyoursagacity,madam。YouhavemadeananalysisofthemixturewithwhichItracedthepentacleonyournephew’sthigh,butinwhatwaycanyoudiscoverthewordswhichgivethepentacleitsefficacy?"
"Inthemanuscriptofanadept,whichIwillshewyou,andwhereyouwillfindtheverywordsyouused。"
Ibowedmyheadinreply,andweleftthiscuriouslaboratory。
WehadscarcelyarrivedinherroombeforeMadamed’Urfedrewfromahandsomecasketalittlebook,boundinblack,whichsheputonthetablewhileshesearchedforamatch。Whileshewaslookingabout,I
openedthebookbehindherback,andfoundittobefullofpentacles,andbygoodluckfoundthepentacleIhadtracedonthecount’sthigh。Itwassurroundedbythenamesofthespiritsoftheplanets,withtheexceptionofthoseofSaturnandMars。Ishutupthebookquickly。ThespiritsnamedwerethesameasthoseintheworksofAgrippa,withwhichIwasacquainted。WithanunmovedcountenanceIdrewnearher,andshesoonfoundthematch,andherappearancesurprisedmeagooddeal;butIwillspeakofthatanothertime。
Themarchionesssatdownonhersofa,andmakingmetodothelikesheaskedmeifIwasacquaintedwiththetalismansoftheCountdeTreves?
"Ihaveneverheardofthem,madam,butIknowthoseofPoliphilus:"
"Itissaidtheyarethesame。"
"Idon’tbelieveit。"
"Weshallsee。Ifyouwillwritethewordsyouuttered,asyoudrewthepentacleonmynephew’sthigh,andifIfindthesametalismanwiththesamewordsaroundit,theidentitywillbeproved。"
"Itwill,Iconfess。Iwillwritethewordsimmediately。"
Iwroteoutthenamesofthespirits。Madamed’Urfefoundthepentacleandreadoutthenames,whileIpretendingastonishment,gaveherthepaper,andmuchtoherdelightshefoundthenamestobethesame。
"Yousee,"saidshe,"thatPoliphilusandtheCountdeTrevespossessedthesameart。"
"Ishallbeconvincedthatitisso,ifyourbookcontainsthemannerofpronouncingtheineffablenames。Doyouknowthetheoryoftheplanetaryhours?"
"Ithinkso,buttheyarenotneededinthisoperation。"
"Theyareindispensable,madam,forwithoutthemonecannotworkwithanycertainty。IdrewSolomon’spentacleonthethighofCountdelaTourd’AuvergneinthehourofVenus,andifIhadnotbegunwithArael,thespiritofVenus,theoperationwouldhavehadnoeffect。"
"Ididnotknowthat。AndafterArael?"
"NextcomesMercury,thentheMoon,thenJupiter,andthentheSun。
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