BecauseItellyouthiswillyouthinkmesomelittlegirlwhocultivatesagarden—fullofillusions？You，whoarewittyandwise，haveyounotguessedthatwhenMademoiselled’Estereceivedyourpedanticlessonshesaidtoherself:"No，dearpoet，myfirstletterwasnotthepebblewhichavagabondchildflingsaboutthehighwaytofrightentheowneroftheadjacentfruit—trees，butanetcarefullyandprudentlythrownbyafishermanseatedonarockabovethesea，hopingandexpectingamiraculousdraught。"
　　Allthatyousaysobeautifullyaboutthefamilyhasmyapproval。
　　Themanwhoisabletopleaseme，andofwhomIbelievemyselfworthy，willhavemyheartandmylife，——withtheconsentofmyparents，forIwillneithergrievethem，nortakethemunawares:
　　happily，Iamcertainofreigningoverthem;and，besides，theyarewhollywithoutprejudice。Indeed，ineveryway，Ifeelmyselfprotectedagainstanydelusionsinmydream。Ihavebuiltthefortresswithmyownhands，andIhaveletitbefortifiedbytheboundlessdevotionofthosewhowatchovermeasifIwereatreasure，——notthatIamunabletodefendmyselfintheopen，ifneedbe;for，letmesay，circumstanceshavefurnishedmewitharmorofproofonwhichisengravedtheword"Disdain。"Ihavethedeepesthorrorofallthatiscalculating，——ofallthatisnotpure，disinterested，andwhollynoble。Iworshipthebeautiful，theideal，withoutbeingromantic;thoughIHAVEbeen，inmyheartofhearts，inmydreams。ButIrecognizethetruthofthevariousthings，justeventovulgarity，whichyouhavewrittenmeaboutSocietyandsociallife。
　　Forthetimebeingweare，andwecanonlybe，twofriends。Whyseekanunseenfriend？youask。Yourpersonmaybeunknowntome，butyourmind，yourheartIKNOW;theypleaseme，andIfeelaninfinitudeofthoughtswithinmysoulwhichneedamanofgeniusfortheirconfidant。Idonotwishthepoemofmyhearttobewasted;IwouldhaveitknowntoyouasitistoGod。Whatapreciousthingisatruecomrade，onetowhomwecantellall！Youwillsurelynotrejecttheunpublishedleafletsofayounggirl’sthoughtswhentheyflytoyouliketheprettyinsectsflutteringtothesun？Iamsureyouhaveneverbeforemetwiththisgoodfortuneofthesoul，——thehonestconfidencesofanhonestgirl。
　　Listentoherprattle;acceptthemusicthatshesingstoyouinherownheart。Later，ifoursoulsaresisters，ifourcharacterswarranttheattempt，awhite—hairedoldserving—manshallawaityoubythewaysideandleadyoutothecottage，thevilla，thecastle，thepalace——Idon’tknowyetwhatsortofboweritwillbe，norwhatitscolor，norwhetherthisconclusionwilleverbepossible;butyouwilladmit，willyounot？thatitispoetic，andthatMademoiselled’Estehasacomplyingdisposition。Hasshenotleftyoufree？HasshegonewithjealousfeettowatchyouinthesalonsofParis？Hassheimposeduponyouthelaborsofsomehighemprise，suchaspaladinssoughtvoluntarilyintheoldentime？
　　No，sheasksaperfectlyspiritualandmysticalliance。Cometomewhenyouareunhappy，wounded，weary。Tellmeall，hidenothing;I
　　havebalmsforallyourills。Iamtwentyyearsofage，dearfriend，butIhavethesenseoffifty，andunfortunatelyIhaveknownthroughtheexperienceofanotherallthehorrorsandthedelightsoflove。Iknowwhatbasenessthehumanheartcancontain，whatinfamy;yetImyselfamanhonestgirl。No，Ihavenoillusions;butIhavesomethingbetter，somethingreal，——Ihavebeliefsandareligion。See！Iopentheballofourconfidences。
　　WhoeverImarry——providedIchoosehimformyself——maysleepinpeaceorgototheEastIndiessurethathewillfindmeonhisreturnworkingatthetapestrywhichIbeganbeforeheleftme;
　　andineverystitchheshallreadaverseofthepoemofwhichhehasbeenthehero。Yes，Ihaveresolvedwithinmyheartnevertofollowmyhusbandwherehedoesnotwishmetogo。Iwillbethedivinityofhishearth。Thatismyreligionofhumanity。ButwhyshouldInottestandchoosethemantowhomIamtobelikethelifetothebody？Isamaneverimpededbylife？Whatcanthatwomanbewhothwartsthemansheloves？——anillness，adisease，notlife。Bylife，Imeanthatjoyoushealthwhichmakeseachhourapleasure。
　　Buttoreturntoyourletter，whichwillalwaysbeprecioustome。
　　Yes，jestingapart，itcontainsthatwhichIdesired，anexpressionofprosaicsentimentswhichareasnecessarytofamilylifeasairtothelungs;andwithoutwhichnohappinessispossible。Toactasanhonestman，tothinkasapoet，toloveaswomenlove，thatiswhatIlongedforinmyfriend，anditisnownolongerachimera。
　　Adieu，myfriend。Iampooratthismoment。ThatisoneofthereasonswhyIclingtomyconcealment，mymask，myimpregnablefortress。Ihavereadyourlastversesinthe"Revue，"——ah！withwhatdelight，nowthatIaminitiatedintheaustereloftinessofyoursecretsoul。
　　Willitmakeyouunhappytoknowthatayounggirlpraysforyou;
　　thatyouarehersolitarythought，——withoutarivalexceptinherfatherandmother？Cantherebeanyreasonwhyyoushouldrejectthesepagesfullofyou，writtenforyou，seenbynoeyebutyours？Sendmetheircounterpart。Iamsolittleofawomanyetthatyourconfidences——providedtheyarefullandtrue——willsufficeforthehappinessofyourO。d’EsteM。
　　"Goodheavens！canIbeinlovealready？"criedtheyoungsecretary，whenheperceivedthathehadheldtheaboveletterinhishandsmorethananhourafterreadingit。"WhatshallIdo？Shethinkssheiswritingtothegreatpoet！CanIcontinuethedeception？Issheawomanofforty，oragirloftwenty？"
　　Ernestwasnowfascinatedbythegreatgulfoftheunseen。Theunseenistheobscurityofinfinitude，andnothingismorealluring。Inthatsombrevastnessfiresflash，andfurrowandcolortheabysswithfancieslikethoseofMartin。ForabusymanlikeCanalis，anadventureofthiskindissweptawaylikeaharebellbyamountaintorrent，butinthemoreunoccupiedlifeoftheyoungsecretary，thischarminggirl，whomhisimaginationpersistentlyconnectedwiththeblondebeautyatthewindow，fasteneduponhisheart，anddidasmuchmischiefinhisregulatedlifeasafoxinapoultry—yard。LaBriereallowedhimselftobepreoccupiedbythismysteriouscorrespondent;
　　andheansweredherlastletterwithanother，apretentiousandcarefullystudiedepistle，inwhich，however，passionbeginstorevealitselfthroughpique。
　　Mademoiselle，——Isitquiteloyalinyoutoenthroneyourselfintheheartofapoorpoetwithalatentintentionofabandoninghimifheisnotexactlywhatyouwish，leavinghimtoendlessregrets，——showinghimforamomentanimageofperfection，wereitonlyassumed，andatanyrategivinghimaforetasteofhappiness？
　　Iwasveryshort—sightedinsolicitingthisletter，inwhichyouhavebeguntounfoldtheelegantfabricofyourthoughts。Amancaneasilybecomeenamoredwithamysteriousunknownwhocombinessuchfearlessnesswithsuchoriginality，somuchimaginationwithsomuchfeeling。Whowouldnotwishtoknowyouafterreadingyourfirstconfidence？Itrequiresastrongeffortonmyparttoretainmysensesinthinkingofyou，foryoucombineallthatcantroubletheheadortheheartofman。Ithereforemakethemostofthelittleself—possessionyouhaveleftmetoofferyoumyhumbleremonstrances。
　　Doyoureallybelieve，mademoiselle，thatletters，moreorlesstrueinrelationtothelifeofthewriters，moreorlessinsincere，——forthosewhichwewritetoeachotheraretheexpressionsofthemomentatwhichwepenthem，andnotofthegeneraltenorofourlives，——doyoubelieve，Isay，thatbeautifulastheymaybe，theycanatallreplacetherepresentationthatwecouldmakeofourselvestoeachotherbytherevelationsofdailyintercourse？Manisdual。Thereisalifeinvisible，thatoftheheart，towhichlettersmaysuffice;andthereisalifematerial，towhichmoreimportanceis，alas，attachedthanyouareawareofatyourage。Thesetwoexistencesmust，however，bemadetoharmonizeintheidealwhichyoucherish;andthis，Imayremarkinpassing，isveryrare。
　　Thepure，spontaneous，disinterestedhomageofasolitarysoulwhichisbotheducatedandchaste，isoneofthosecelestialflowerswhosecolorandfragranceconsoleforeverygrief，foreverywound，foreverybetrayalwhichmakesupthelifeofaliteraryman;andIthankyouwithanimpulseequaltoyourown。
　　Butafterthispoeticalexchangeofmygriefsforthepearlsofyourcharity，whatnext？whatdoyouexpect？IhaveneitherthegeniusnorthesplendidpositionofLordByron;aboveall，Ihavenotthehaloofhisfictitiousdamnationandhisfalsesocialwoes。Butwhatcouldyouhavehopedfromhiminlikecircumstances？Hisfriendship？Well，hewhooughttohavefeltonlypridewaseatenupbyvanityofeverykind，——sickly，irritablevanitywhichdiscouragedfriendship。I，athousand—foldmoreinsignificantthanhe，mayInothavediscordancesofcharacter，andmakefriendshipaburdenheavyindeedtobear？Inexchangeforyourreveries，whatwillyougain？Thedissatisfactionofalifewhichwillnotbewhollyyours。Thecompactismadness。Letmetellyouwhy。Inthefirstplace，yourprojectedpoemisaplagiarism。AyoungGermangirl，whowasnot，likeyou，semi—German，butaltogetherso，adoredGoethewiththerashintoxicationofgirlhood。Shemadehimherfriend，herreligion，hergod，knowingatthesametimethathewasmarried。
　　MadameGoethe，aworthyGermanwoman，lentherselftothisworshipwithaslygood—naturewhichdidnotcureBettina。Butwhatwastheendofitall？TheyoungecstaticmarriedamanwhowasyoungerandhandsomerthanGoethe。Now，betweenourselves，letusadmitthatayounggirlwhoshouldmakeherselfthehandmaidofamanofgenius，hisequalthroughcomprehension，andshouldpiouslyworshiphimtilldeath，likeoneofthosedivinefiguressketchedbythemastersontheshuttersoftheirmysticshrines，andwho，whenGermanylosthim，shouldhaveretiredtosomesolitudeawayfrommen，likethefriendofLordBolingbroke，——letusadmit，I
　　say，thattheyounggirlwouldhavelivedforever，inlaidinthegloryofthepoetasMaryMagdaleneinthecrossandtriumphofourLord。Ifthatissublime，whatsayyoutothereverseofthepicture？AsIamneitherGoethenorLordByron，thecolossiofpoetryandegotism，butsimplytheauthorofafewesteemedverses，Icannotexpectthehonorsofacult。NeitheramI
　　disposedtobeamartyr。Ihaveambition，andIhaveaheart;IamstillyoungandIhavemycareertomake。SeemeforwhatIam。
　　Thebountyofthekingandtheprotectionofhisministersgivemesufficientmeansofliving。Ihavetheoutwardbearingofaveryordinaryman。IgotothesoireesinParislikeanyotherempty—
　　headedfop;andifIdrive，thewheelsofmycarriagedonotrollonthesolidground，absolutelyindispensableinthesedays，ofpropertyinvestedinthefunds。ButifIamnotrich，neitherdoI
　　havethereliefsandconsolationsoflifeinagarret，thetoiluncomprehended，thefameinpenury，whichbelongtomenwhoareworthfarmorethanI，——D’Arthez，forinstance。
　　Ah！whatprosaicconclusionswillyouryoungenthusiasmfindtotheseenchantingvisions。Letusstophere。IfIhavehadthehappinessofseemingtoyouaterrestrialparagon，youhavebeentomeathingoflightandabeacon，likethosestarsthatshineforamomentanddisappear。Maynothingevertarnishthisepisodeofourlives。WerewetocontinueitImightloveyou;Imightconceiveoneofthosemadpassionswhichrendallobstacles，whichlightfiresintheheartwhoseviolenceisgreaterthantheirduration。AndsupposeIsucceededinpleasingyou？weshouldendourtaleinthecommonvulgarway，——marriage，ahousehold，children，BeliseandHenrietteChrysaletogether！——coulditbe？
　　Therefore，adieu。
　　CHAPTERX
　　THEMARRIAGEOFSOULS
　　ToMonsieurdeCanalis:
　　MyFriend，——Yourlettergivesmeasmuchpainaspleasure。Butperhapssomedayweshallfindnothingbutpleasureinwritingtoeachother。Understandmethoroughly。ThesoulspeakstoGodandaskshimformanythings;heismute。IseektoobtaininyoutheanswersthatGoddoesnotmaketome。CannotthefriendshipofMademoiselledeGournayandMontaigneberevivedinus？DoyounotrememberthehouseholdofSismondedeSismondiinGeneva？Themostlovelyhomeeverknown，asIhavebeentold;somethinglikethatoftheMarquisdePescaireandhiswife，——happytooldage。Ah！
　　friend，isitimpossiblethattwohearts，twoharps，shouldexistasinasymphony，answeringeachotherfromadistance，vibratingwithdeliciousmelodyinunison？Manaloneofallcreationisinhimselftheharp，themusician，andthelistener。Doyouthinktofindmeuneasyandjealouslikeordinarywomen？IknowthatyougointotheworldandmeetthehandsomestandthewittiestwomeninParis。MayInotsupposethatsomeoneofthosemermaidshasdeignedtoclaspyouinhercoldandscalyarms，andthatshehasinspiredtheanswerwhoseprosaicopinionssaddenme？ThereissomethinginlifemorebeautifulthanthegarlandsofParisiancoquetry;theregrowsaflowerfarupthoseAlpinepeakscalledmenofgenius，thegloryofhumanity，whichtheyfertilizewiththedewstheirloftyheadsdrawfromtheskies。Iseektocultivatethatflowerandmakeitbloom;foritswildyetgentlefragrancecanneverfail，——itiseternal。
　　Domethehonortobelievethatthereisnothingloworcommonplaceinme。WereIBettina，forIknowtowhomyouallude，IshouldneverhavebecomeMadamevonArnim;andhadIbeenoneofLordByron’smanyloves，Ishouldbeatthismomentinacloister。
　　Youhavetouchedmetothequick。Youdonotknowme，butyoushallknowme。Ifeelwithinmesomethingthatissublime，ofwhichIdarespeakwithoutvanity。GodhasputintomysoultherootsofthatAlpineflowerbornonthesummitsofwhichIspeak，andIcannotplantitinanearthenpotuponmywindow—sillandseeitdie。No，thatgloriousflower—cup，singleinitsbeauty，intoxicatinginitsfragrance，shallnotbedraggedthroughthevulgaritiesoflife！itisyours——yours，beforeanyeyehasblightedit，yoursforever！Yes，mypoet，toyoubelongmythoughts，——all，thosethataresecret，thosethataregayest;myheartisyourswithoutreserveandwithitsinfiniteaffection。Ifyoushouldpersonallynotpleaseme，Ishallnevermarry。Icanliveinthelifeoftheheart，Icanexistonyourmind，yoursentiments;theypleaseme，andIwillalwaysbewhatIam，yourfriend。Yoursisanoblemoralnature;Ihaverecognizedit，I
　　haveappreciatedit，andthatsufficesme。Inthatisallmyfuture。Donotlaughatayoungandprettyhandmaidenwhoshrinksnotfromthethoughtofbeingsomedaytheoldcompanionofapoet，——asortofmotherperhaps，orahousekeeper;theguideofhisjudgmentandasourceofhiswealth。Thishandmaiden——sodevoted，soprecioustothelivesofsuchasyou——isFriendship，pure，disinterestedfriendship，towhomyouwilltellall，wholistensandsometimesshakesherhead;whoknitsbythelightofthelampandwaitstobepresentwhenthepoetreturnshomesoakedwithrain，orvexedinmind。SuchshallbemydestinyifIdonotfindthatofahappywifeattachedforevertoherhusband;Ismilealikeatthethoughtofeitherfate。DoyoubelieveFrancewillbeanytheworseifMademoiselled’Estedoesnotgiveittwoorthreesons，andneverbecomesaMadameVilquin—something—or—other？Asforme，Ishallneverbeanoldmaid。Ishallmakemyselfamother，bytakingcareofothersandbymysecretco—operationintheexistenceofagreatman，towhomalsoIshallcarryallmythoughtsandallmyearthlyefforts。
　　Ihavethedeepesthorrorofcommonplaceness。IfIamfree，ifI
　　amrich（andIknowthatIamyoungandpretty），IwillneverbelongtoanyninnyjustbecauseheisthesonofapeerofFrance，nortoamerchantwhocouldruinhimselfandmeinaday，nortoahandsomecreaturewhowouldbeasortofwomaninthehousehold，nortoamanofanykindwhowouldmakemeblushtwentytimesadayforbeinghis。Makeyourselfeasyonthatpoint。Myfatheradoresmywishes;hewillneveropposethem。IfIpleasemypoet，andhepleasesme，thegloriousstructureofourloveshallbebuiltsohighastobeinaccessibletoanykindofmisfortune。
　　Iamaneaglet;andyouwillseeitinmyeyes。
　　IshallnotrepeatwhatIhavealreadysaid，butIwillputitssubstanceintheleastpossiblenumberofwords，andconfesstoyouthatIshouldbethehappiestofwomenifIwereimprisonedbyloveasIamnowimprisonedbythewishandwillofafather。Ah！
　　myfriend，maywebringtoarealendtheromancethathascometousthroughthefirstexerciseofmywill:listentoitsargument:——
　　Ayounggirlwithalivelyimagination，lockedupinatower，iswearywithlongingtorunlooseintheparkwherehereyesonlyareallowedtorove。Sheinventsawaytoloosenherbars;shejumpsfromthecasement;shescalestheparkwall;shefrolicsalongtheneighbor’ssward——itistheEverlastingcomedy。Well，thatyounggirlismysoul，theneighbor’sparkisyourgenius。Isitnotallverynatural？Wasthereeveraneighborthatdidnotcomplainthatunknownfeetbrokedownhistrellises？Ileaveittomypoettoanswer。
　　ButdoestheloftyreasonerafterthefashionofMolierewantstillbetterreasons？Well，heretheyare。MydearGeronte，marriagesareusuallymadeindefianceofcommon—sense。Parentsmakeinquiriesaboutayoungman。IftheLeander——whoissuppliedbysomefriend，orcaughtinaball—room——isnotathief，andhasnovisiblerentinhisreputation，ifhehasthenecessaryfortune，ifhecomesfromacollegeoralaw—schoolandsofulfilsthepopularideasofeducation，andifhewearshisclotheswithagentlemanlyair，heisallowedtomeettheyounglady，whosemotherhasorderedhertoguardhertongue，toletnosignofherheartorsoulappearonherface，whichmustwearthesmileofadanseusefinishingapirouette。Thesecommandsarecoupledwithinstructionsastothedangerofrevealingherrealcharacter，andtheadditionaladviceofnotseemingalarminglywelleducated。Ifthesettlementshaveallbeenagreedupon，theparentsaregood—
　　naturedenoughtoletthepairseeeachotherforafewmoments;
　　theyareallowedtotalkorwalktogether，butalwayswithouttheslightestfreedom，andknowingthattheyareboundbyrigidrules。
　　Themanisasmuchdressedupinsoulasheisinbody，andsoistheyounggirl。Thispitiablecomedy，mixedwithbouquets，jewels，andtheatre—partiesiscalled"payingyouraddresses。"Itrevoltsme:Idesirethatactualmarriageshallbetheresultofapreviousandlongmarriageofsouls。Ayounggirl，awoman，hasthroughoutherlifeonlythisonemomentwhenreflection，secondsight，andexperiencearenecessarytoher。Sheplaysherliberty，herhappiness，andsheisnotallowedtothrowthedice;sherisksherall，andisforcedtobeamerespectator。Ihavetheright，thewill，thepowertomakemyownunhappiness，andIusethem，asdidmymother，who，wonbybeautyandledbyinstinct，marriedthemostgenerous，themostliberal，themostlovingofmen。Iknowthatyouarefree，apoet，andnoble—looking。BesurethatI
　　shouldnothavechosenoneofyourbrothersinApollowhowasalreadymarried。Ifmymotherwaswonbybeauty，whichisperhapsthespiritofform，whyshouldInotbeattractedbythespiritandtheformunited？ShallInotknowyoubetterbystudyingyouinthiscorrespondencethanIcouldthroughthevulgarexperienceof"receivingyouraddresses"？Thisisthequestion，asHamletsays。
　　Butmyproceedings，dearChrysale，haveatleastthemeritofnotbindinguspersonally。Iknowthatlovehasitsillusions，andeveryillusionitsto—morrow。Thatiswhytherearesomanypartingsamongloversvowedtoeachotherforlife。Theproofofloveliesintwothings，——sufferingandhappiness。When，afterpassingthroughthesedoubletrialsoflifetwobeingshaveshowneachothertheirdefectsaswellastheirgoodqualities，whentheyhavereallyobservedeachother’scharacter，thentheymaygototheirgravehandinhand。MydearArgante，whotoldyouthatourlittledramathusbegunwastohavenofuture？Inanycaseshallwenothaveenjoyedthepleasuresofourcorrespondence？
　　Iawaityourorders，monseigneur，andIamwithallmyheart，Yourhandmaiden，O。d’EsteM。
　　ToMademoiselleO。d’EsteM。，——Youareawitch，aspirit，andI
　　loveyou！Isthatwhatyoudesireofme，mostoriginalofgirls？
　　Perhapsyouareonlyseekingtoamuseyourprovincialleisurewiththefollieswhichareyouabletomakeapoetcommit。Ifso，youhavedoneabaddeed。YourtwolettershaveenoughofthespiritofmischiefinthemtoforcethisdoubtintothemindofaParisian。ButIamnolongermasterofmyself;mylife，myfuturedependontheansweryouwillmakeme。Tellmeifthecertaintyofanunboundedaffection，obliviousofallsocialconventions，willtouchyou，——ifyouwillsuffermetoseekyou。ThereisanxietyenoughanduncertaintyenoughinthequestionastowhetherIcanpersonallypleaseyou。IfyourreplyisfavorableIchangemylife，Ibidadieutoalltheirksomepleasureswhichwehavethefollytocallhappiness。Happiness，mydearandbeautifulunknown，iswhatyoudreamittobe，——afusionoffeelings，aperfectaccordanceofsouls，theimprintofanobleideal（suchasGoddoespermitustoforminthislowworld）uponthetrivialroundofdailylifewhosehabitswemustneedsobey，aconstancyofheartmorepreciousfarthanwhatwecallfidelity。Canwesaythatwemakesacrificeswhentheendinviewisoureternalgood，thedreamofpoets，thedreamofmaidens，thepoemwhich，attheentranceoflifewhenthoughtessaysitswings，eachnobleintellecthasponderedandcaressedonlytoseeitshiveredtofragmentsonsomestoneofstumblingashardasitisvulgar？——fortothegreatmajorityofmen，thefootofrealitystepsinstantlyonthatmysteriouseggsoseldomhatched。
　　Icannotspeaktoyouanymoreofmyself;notofmypastlife，norofmycharacter，norofanaffectionalmostmaternalononeside，filialonmine，whichyouhavealreadyseriouslychanged——aneffectuponmylifewhichmustexplainmyuseoftheword"sacrifice。"Youhavealreadyrenderedmeforgetful，ifnotungrateful;doesthatsatisfyyou？Oh，speak！Saytomeoneword，andIwillloveyoutillmyeyescloseindeath，astheMarquisdePescairelovedhiswife，asRomeolovedJuliet，andfaithfully。
　　Ourlifewillbe，formeatleast，that"felicityuntroubled"
　　whichDantemadetheveryelementofhisParadiso，——apoemfarsuperiortohisInferno。Strange，itisnotmyselfthatIdoubtinthelongreveriethroughwhich，likeyou，Ifollowthewindingsofadreamedexistence;itisyou。Yes，dear，Ifeelwithinmethepowertolove，andtoloveendlessly，——tomarchtothegravewithgentleslownessandasmilingeye，withmybelovedonmyarm，andwithneveraclouduponthesunshineofoursouls。Yes，Idaretofaceourmutualoldage，toseeourselveswithwhiteningheads，likethevenerablehistorianofItaly，inspiredalwayswiththesameaffectionbuttransformedinsoulbyourlife’sseasons。Hearme，Icannolongerbeyourfriendonly。ThoughChrysale，Geronte，andArgantere—live，yousay，inme，Iamnotyetoldenoughtodrinkfromthecupheldtomylipsbythesweethandsofaveiledwomanwithoutapassionatedesiretotearoffthedominoandthemaskandseetheface。Eitherwritemenomore，orgivemehope。
　　Letmeseeyou，orletmego。MustIbidyouadieu？Willyoupermitmetosignmyself，YourFriend？
　　ToMonsieurdeCanalis，——Whatflattery！withwhatrapidityisthegraveAnselmetransformedintoahandsomeLeander！TowhatmustI
　　attributesuchachange？tothisblackwhichIputuponthiswhite？totheseideaswhicharetotheflowersofmysoulwhatarosedrawnincharcoalistotherosesinthegarden？Orisittoarecollectionoftheyounggirlwhomyoutookforme，andwhoispersonallyaslikemeasawaiting—womanislikehermistress？
　　Havewechangedroles？HaveIthesense？haveyouthefancy？Butatrucewithjesting。
　　Yourletterhasmademeknowtheelatingpleasuresofthesoul;
　　thefirstthatIhaveknownoutsideofmyfamilyaffections。What，saysapoet，arethetiesofbloodwhicharesostronginordinaryminds，comparedtothosedivinelyforgedwithinusbymysterioussympathies？Letmethankyou——no，wemustnotthankeachotherforsuchthings——butGodblessyouforthehappinessyouhavegivenme;behappyinthejoyyouhaveshedintomysoul。Youexplaintomesomeoftheapparentinjusticesinsociallife。Thereissomething，Iknownotwhat，sodazzling，sovirileinglory，thatitbelongsonlytoman;Godforbidsuswomentowearitshalo，buthemakesloveourportion，givingusthetendernesswhichsoothesthebrowscorchedbyhislightnings。Ihavefeltmymission，andyouhavenowconfirmedit。
　　Sometimes，myfriend，Iriseinthemorninginastateofinexpressiblesweetness;asortofpeace，tenderanddivine，givesmeanideaofheaven。Myfirstthoughtisthenlikeabenediction。
　　IcallthesemorningsmylittleGermanwakings，inoppositiontomySouthernsunsets，fullofheroicdeeds，battles，Romanfetesandardentpoems。Well，afterreadingyourletter，sofulloffeverishimpatience，Ifeltinmyheartallthefreshnessofmycelestialwakings，whenIlovetheairaboutmeandallnature，andfancythatIamdestinedtodieforoneIlove。Oneofyourpoems，"TheMaiden’sSong，"paintsthesedeliciousmoments，whengaietyistender，whenaspirationisaneed;itisoneofmyfavorites。Doyouwantmetoputallmyflatteriesintoone？——wellthen，IthinkyouworthytobeME！
　　Yourletter，thoughshort，enablesmetoreadwithinyou。Yes，I
　　haveguessedyourtumultuousstruggles，yourpiquedcuriosity，yourprojects;butIdonotyetknowyouwellenoughtosatisfyyourwishes。Hearme，dear;themysteryinwhichIamshroudedallowsmetousethatword，whichletsyouseetothebottomofmyheart。Hearme:ifweoncemeet，adieutoourmutualcomprehension！Willyoumakeacompactwithme？Wasthefirstdisadvantageoustoyou？Butrememberitwonyoumyesteem，anditisagreatdeal，myfriend，togainanadmirationlinedthroughoutwithesteem。Hereisthecompact:writemeyourlifeinafewwords;thentellmewhatyoudoinParis，daybyday，withnoreservations，andasifyouweretalkingtosomeoldfriend。Well，havingdonethat，Iwilltakeastepmyself——Iwillseeyou，I
　　promiseyouthat。Anditisagreatdeal。
　　This，dear，isnointrigue，noadventure;nogallantry，asyoumensay，cancomeofit，Iwarnyoufrankly。Itinvolvesmylife，andmorethanthat，——somethingthatcausesmeremorseforthemanythoughtsthatflytoyouinflocks——itinvolvesmyfather’sandmymother’slife。Iadorethem，andmychoicemustpleasethem;theymustfindasoninyou。
　　Tellme，towhatextentcanthesuperbspiritsofyourkind，towhomGodhasgiventhewingsofhisangels，withoutalwaysaddingtheiramiability，——howfarcantheybendunderafamilyyoke，andputupwithitslittlemiseries？ThatisatextIhavemeditatedupon。Ah！thoughIsaidtomyheartbeforeIcametoyou，Forward！
　　Onward！itdidnottrembleandpalpitateanythelessontheway;
　　andIdidnotconcealfrommyselfthestoninessofthepathnortheAlpinedifficultiesIhadtoencounter。Ithoughtofallinmylong，longmeditations。DoInotknowthateminentmenlikeyouhaveknownthelovetheyhaveinspiredquiteaswellasthatwhichtheythemselveshavefelt;thattheyhavehadmanyromancesintheirlives，——youparticularly，whosendforththoseairyvisionsofyoursoulthatwomenrushtobuy？YetstillIcriedtomyself，"Onward！"becauseIhavestudied，morethanyougivemecreditfor，thegeographyofthegreatsummitsofhumanity，whichyoutellmearesocold。DidyounotsaythatGoetheandByronwerethecolossiofegoismandpoetry？Ah，myfriend，thereyousharedamistakeintowhichsuperficialmindsareapttofall;butinyouperhapsitcamefromgenerosity，falsemodesty，orthedesiretoescapefromme。Vulgarmindsmaymistaketheeffectoftoilforthedevelopmentofpersonalcharacter，butyoumustnot。NeitherLordByron，norGoethe，norWalterScott，norCuvier，noranyinventor，belongstohimself，heistheslaveofhisidea。Andthismysteriouspowerismorejealousthanawoman;itsuckstheirblood，itmakesthemlive，itmakesthemdieforitssake。Thevisibledevelopmentsoftheirhiddenexistencedoseem，intheirresults，likeegotism;butwhoshalldaretosaythatthemanwhohasabnegatedselftogivepleasure，instruction，orgrandeurtohisepoch，isanegoist？Isamotherselfishwhensheimmolatesallthingstoherchild？Well，thedetractorsofgeniusdonotperceiveitsfecundmaternity，thatisall。Thelifeofapoetissoperpetualasacrificethatheneedsagiganticorganizationtobeareventheordinarypleasuresoflife。Therefore，intowhatsorrowsmayhenotfallwhen，likeMoliere，hewishestolivethelifeoffeelinginitsmostpoignantcrises;tome，rememberinghispersonallife，Moliere’scomedyishorrible。
　　Thegenerosityofgeniusseemstomehalfdivine;andIplaceyouinthisnoblefamilyofallegedegoists。Ah！ifIhadfoundself—
　　interest，ambition，asearednaturewhereInowcanseemybestlovedflowersofthesoul，youknownotwhatlonganguishIshouldhavehadtobear。ImetwithdisappointmentbeforeIwassixteen。
　　WhatwouldhavebecomeofmehadIlearnedattwentythatfameisalie，thathewhosebooksexpressthefeelingshiddeninmyheartwasincapableoffeelingthemhimself？Oh！myfriend，doyouknowwhatwouldhavebecomeofme？ShallItakeyouintotherecessesofmysoul？Ishouldhavegonetomyfatherandsaid，"Bringmetheson—in—lawwhomyoudesire;mywillabdicates，——marrymetowhomyouplease。"Andthemanmighthavebeenanotary，banker，miser，fool，dullard，wearisomeasarainyday，commonastheusherofaschool，amanufacturer，orsomebravesoldierwithouttwoideas，——hewouldhavehadaresignedandattentiveservantinme。Butwhatanawfulsuicide！nevercouldmysoulhaveexpandedinthelife—givingraysofabelovedsun。Nomurmurshouldhaverevealedtomyfather，ormymother，ormychildrenthesuicideofthecreaturewhoatthisinstantisshakingherfetters，castinglightningsfromhereyes，andflyingtowardsyouwitheagerwing。
　　See，sheisthere，attheangleofyourdesk，likePolyhymnia，breathingtheairofyourpresence，andglancingaboutherwithacuriouseye。Sometimesinthefieldswheremyhusbandwouldhavetakenmetowalk，Ishouldhavewept，apartandsecretly，atsightofagloriousmorning;andinmyheart，orhiddeninabureau—