LADYK。——Go！no，never！notwhilstIaminthishouse，Mrs。Prior。
　　Yourdaughterisawell—behavedyoungwoman:youhaveconfidedtomeherlongengagementtoLieutenant——LieutenantWhat—d’you—
　　call’im，intheIndianservice。Shehasbeenvery，verygoodtomygrandchildren——shebroughtthemoverfromNapleswhenmy——myangelofanArabelladiedthere，andIwillprotectMissPrior。
　　MRS。PRIOR。——Blessyou，blessyou，noble，admirablewoman！Don’ttakeitaway！Imust，IWILLkissyourdear，generoushand！Takeamother’s，awidow’sblessings，LadyKicklebury——theblessingsofonewhohasknownmisfortuneandseenbetterdays，andthanksheaven——yes，heaven！——fortheprotectorsshehasfound！
　　LADYK。——Yousaid——youhad——severalchildren，Ithink，mygoodMrs。
　　Prior？
　　MRS。PRIOR。——Threeboys——one，myeldestblessing，isinawine—
　　merchant’soffice——ah，ifMr。MillikenWOULDbutgivehimanorder！
　　anorderfromTHIShouse！anorderfromLadyKicklebury’sson—in—
　　law！——
　　LADYK。——Itshallbedone，mygoodPrior——wewillsee。
　　MRS。PRIOR。——Another，Adolphus，dearfellow！isinChrist’sHospital。Itwasdear，goodMr。Milliken’snomination。FrederickisatMerchantTaylor’s:mydarlingJuliapayshisschooling。
　　Besides，Ihavetwogirls——Amelia，quitealittletoddles，justthesize，thoughnotsobeautiful——butinamother’seyesallchildrenarelovely，dearLadyKicklebury——justthesizeofyourdeargranddaughter，whoseclotheswouldfither，Iamsure。Andmysecond，Charlotte，agirlastallasyourladyship，thoughnotwithsofineafigure。"Ah，no，Shatty！"Isaytoher，"youareastallasourdearpatroness，LadyKicklebury，whomyoulongsotosee;
　　butyouhavenotgotherladyship’scarriageandfigure，child。"
　　FivechildrenhaveI，leftfatherlessandpennilessbymypoordearhusband——butheaventakescareofthewidowandorphan，madam——andheaven’sBESTCREATURESfeedthem！——YOUknowwhomImean。
　　LADYK。——Shouldyounotlike，wouldyouobjecttotake——afrockortwooflittleArabella’stoyourchild？andifPinhorn，mymaid，willletme，Mrs。Prior，IwillseeifIcannotfindsomethingagainstwinterforyourseconddaughter，asyousayweareofasize。
　　MRS。PRIOR。——Thewidow’sandorphans’blessingsuponyou！IsaidmyCharlottewasastall，butIneversaidshehadsuchafigureasyours——whohas？
　　CHARLESannounces——
　　CHARLES。——Mrs。Bonnington！[EnterMRS。BONNINGTON。]
　　MRS。B。——Howdoyoudo，LadyKicklebury？
　　LADYK。——MydearMrs。Bonnington！andyoucometodinnerofcourse？
　　MRS。B。——Todinewithmyownson，Imaytaketheliberty。Howaremygrandchildren？mydarlinglittleEmily，isshewell，Mrs。Prior？
　　LADYK。[aside]。——Emily？whydoesshenotcallthechildbyherblessedmother’snameofArabella？[ToMRS。B。]ARABELLAisquitewell，Mrs。Bonnington。Mr。Squillingssaiditwasnothing;onlyhergrandmammaBonningtonspoilingher，asusual。Mr。Bonningtonandallyournumerousyoungfolkarewell，Ihope？
　　MRS。B。——Myfamilyareallinperfecthealth，Ithankyou。IsHoracecomehomefromthecity？
　　LADYK。——Goodness！there’sthedinner—bell，——Imustruntodress。
　　MRS。PRIOR。——ShallIcomewithyou，dearLadyKicklebury？
　　LADYK。——Notforworlds，mygoodMrs。Prior。[ExitLadyK。]
　　MRS。PRIOR。——Howdoyoudo，myDEARmadam？IsdearMr。BonningtonQUITEwell？Whatasweet，sweetsermonhegaveuslastSunday。I
　　oftensaytomygirl，ImustnotgotohearMr。Bonnington，I
　　reallymustnot，hemakesmecryso。Oh！heisagreatandgiftedman，andshallInothaveoneglimpseofhim？
　　MRS。B。——Saturdayevening，mygoodMrs。Prior。Don’tyouknowthatmyhusbandnevergoesoutonSaturday，havinghissermontocompose？
　　MRS。P。——Oh，thosedear，dearsermons！Doyouknow，madam，thatmylittleAdolphus，forwhomyourson’sbountyprocuredhisplaceatChrist’sHospital，wasverymuchtouchedindeed，thedearchild，withMr。Bonnington’sdiscourselastSundaythreeweeks，andrefusedtoplaymarblesafterwardsatschool？Thewicked，naughtyboysbeatthepoorchild;butAdolphushashisconsolation！IsMasterEdwardwell，ma’am，andMasterRobert，andMasterFrederick，anddearlittlefunnyMasterWilliam？
　　MRS。B。——Thankyou，Mrs。Prior;youhaveagoodheart，indeed！
　　MRS。P。——Ah，whatblessingsthosedearsaretoyou！IwishyourdearestlittleGRANDSON———
　　MRS。B。——Thelittlenaughtywretch！Doyouknow，Mrs。Prior，mygrandson，GeorgeMilliken，spilttheinkovermydearhusband’sbands，whichhekeepsinhisgreatdictionary;andfoughtwithmychild，Frederick，whoisthreeyearsolderthanGeorge——actuallybeathisownuncle！
　　MRS。P。——Graciousmercy！MasterFrederickwasnothurt，Ihope？
　　MRS。B。——No;hecriedagreatdeal;andthenRobertcameup，andthatgracelesslittleGeorgetookastick;andthenmyhusbandcameout，anddoyouknowGeorgeMillikenactuallykickedMr。Bonningtononhisshins，andbuttedhimlikealittlenaughtyram？
　　MRS。P。——Mercy！mercy！whatalittlerebel！Heisspoiled，dearmadam，andyouknowbyWHOM。
　　MRS。B。——ByhisgrandmammaKicklebury。Iknowit。Iwantmysontowhipthatchild，butherefuses。Hewillcometonogood;thatchild。
　　MRS。P。——Ah，madam，don’tsayso！Letushopeforthebest。
　　MasterGeorge’shightemperwillsubsidewhencertainpersonswhopethimaregoneaway。
　　MRS。B。——Goneaway！theyneverwillgoaway！No，markmywords，Mrs。Prior，thatwomanwillnevergoaway。Shehasmadethehouseherown:shecommandseverythingandeverybodyinit。Shehasdrivenme——me——Mr。Milliken’sownmother——almostoutofit。Shehassoannoyedmydearhusband，thatMr。Bonningtonwillscarcelycomehere。Isshenotalwayssneeringatprivatetutors，becauseMr。Bonningtonwasmyson’sprivatetutor，andgreatlyvaluedbythelateMr。Milliken？Isshenotmakingconstantallusionstooldwomenmarryingyoungmen，becauseMr。Bonningtonhappenstobeyoungerthanme？IhavenowordstoexpressmyindignationrespectingLadyKicklebury。Sheneverpaysanyone，andrunsupdebtsinthewholetown。HermanBulkeley’sconductintheneighborhoodisquite——quite——
　　MRS。P。——Graciousgoodness，ma’am，youdon’tsayso！Andthenwhatanappetitethegormandizingmonsterhas！Marytellsmethatwhatheeatsintheservants’hallissomethingperfectlyfrightful。
　　MRS。B。——Everybodyfeedsonmypoorson！Youarelookingatmycap，Mrs。Prior？[DuringthistimeMRS。PRIORhasbeenpeeringintoaparcelwhichMRS。BONNINGTONbroughtinherhand。]I
　　broughtitwithmeacrossthePark。IcouldnotwalkthroughtheParkinmycap。Isn’titaprettyribbon，Mrs。Prior？
　　MRS。P。——Beautiful！beautiful？Howbluebecomesyou！WhowouldthinkyouwerethemotherofMr。Millikenandsevenotherdarlingchildren？YoucanaffordwhatLadyKickleburycannot。
　　MRS。B。——Andwhatisthat，Prior？Apoorclergyman’swife，withalargefamily，cannotaffordmuch。
　　MRS。P。——He！he！Youcanaffordtobeseenasyouare，whichLadyK。cannot。DidyounotremarkhowafraidsheseemedlestIshouldenterherdressing—room？OnlyPinhorn，hermaid，goesthere，toarrangetheroses，andthelilies，andthefigure——he！he！Oh，whatasweet，sweetcap—ribbon！Whenyouhavewornit，andaretiredofit，youwillgiveitme，won’tyou？ItwillbegoodenoughforpooroldMarthaPrior！
　　MRS。B。——Doyoureallylikeit？CallatGreenwoodPlace，Mrs。
　　Prior，thenexttimeyoupayRichmondavisit，andbringyourlittlegirlwithyou，andwewillsee。
　　MRS。P。——Oh，thankyou！thankyou！Nay，don’tbeoffended！I
　　must！Imust！[KissesMRS。BONNINGTON。]
　　MRS。B。——There，there！Wemustnotstaychattering！Thebellhasrung。Imustgoandputthecapon，Mrs。Prior。
　　MRS。P。——AndImaycometoo？YOUarenotafraidofmyseeingyourhair，dearMrs。Bonnington！Mr。BonningtontooyoungforYOU！
　　Why，youdon’tlooktwenty！
　　MRS。B。——Oh，Mrs。Prior！
　　MRS。P。——Well，five—and—twenty，uponmyword——notmorethanfive—
　　and—twenty——andthatistheveryprimeoflife。[ExeuntMrs。B。
　　andMrs。P。，handinhand。AsCaptainTOUCHITenters，dressedfordinner，hebowsandpasseson。]
　　TOUCHIT。——So，wearetowearourwhitecravats，andourvarnishedboots，anddineinceremony。Whatistheuseofamanbeingawidower，ifhecan’tdineinhisshooting—jacket？PoorMill！Hehastheslaverynowwithoutthewife。[Hespeakssarcasticallytothepicture。]Well，well！Mrs。Milliken！YOU，atanyrate，aregone;andwiththeutmostrespectforyou，Ilikeyourpictureevenbetterthantheoriginal。MissPrior！
　　EnterMissPRIOR。
　　MISSPRIOR。——Ibegpardon。Ithoughtyouweregonetodinner。I
　　heardthesecondbellsometimesince。[Sheisdrawingback。]
　　TOUCHIT。——Stop！Isay，Julia！[Shereturns，helooksather，takesherhand。]Whydoyoudressyourselfinthisoddpokyway？Youusedtobeaverysmartlydressedgirl。Whydoyouhideyourhair，andwearsuchadowdy，highgown，Julia？
　　JULIA。——Youmustn’tcallmeJulia，CaptainTouchit。
　　TOUCHIT。——Why？whenIlivedinyourmother’slodging，IcalledyouJulia。Whenyoubroughtupthetea，youdidn’tmindbeingcalledJulia。WhenweusedtogototheplaywiththeticketstheEditorgaveus，wholivedonthesecondfloor——
　　JULIA。——Thewretch！——don’tspeakofhim！
　　TOUCHIT。——Ah！Iamafraidhewasasaddeceiver，thatEditor。Hewasaverycleverfellow。Whatdrollsongsheusedtosing！Whataheapofplay—tickets，diorama—tickets，concert—tickets，heusedtogiveyou！Didhetouchyourheart，Julia？
　　JULIA。——Fiddlededee！Nomanevertouchedmyheart，CaptainTouchit。
　　TOUCHIT。——What！notevenTomFlight，whohadthesecondflooraftertheEditorleftit——andwhocriedsobitterlyattheideaofgoingouttoIndiawithoutyou？Youhadatendreforhim——alittlepassion——youknowyouhad。Why，eventheladieshereknowit。
　　Mrs。BonningtontoldmethatyouwerewaitingforasweetheartinIndiatowhomyouwereengaged;andLadyKickleburythinksyouaredyinginlovefortheabsentswain。
　　JULIA。——Ihope——Ihope——youdidnotcontradictthem，CaptainTouchit。
　　TOUCHIT。——Whynot，mydear？
　　JULIA。——MayIbefrankwithyou？Youwereakind，verykindfriendtous——tome，inmyyouth。
　　TOUCHIT。——Ipaidmylodgingsregularly，andmybillswithoutaskingquestions。Ineverweighedtheteainthecaddy，orcountedthelumpsofsugar，orheededtherapidconsumptionofmyliqueur——
　　JULIA。——Hush，hush！Iknowtheyweretaken。Iknowyouwereverygoodtous。Youhelpedmypoorpapaoutofmanyadifficulty。
　　TOUCHIT[aside]。——Tipsyoldcoal—merchant！Idid，andhehelpedhimselftoo。
　　JULIA。——Andyouwerealwaysourbestfriend，CaptainTouchit。Whenourmisfortunescame，yougotmethissituationwithMrs。Milliken——
　　and，and——don’tyousee？——
　　TOUCHIT。——Well——what？
　　JULIA[laughing]。——Ithinkitisbest，underthecircumstances，thattheladieshereshouldsupposeIamengagedtobemarried——oror，theymightbe——mightbejealous，youunderstand。Womenaresometimesjealousofothers，——especiallymothersandmothers—in—
　　law。
　　TOUCHIT。——Oh，youarchschemer！Anditisforthatyoucoverupthatbeautifulhairofyours，andwearthatdemurecap？
　　JULIA[slyly]。——Iamsubjecttorheumatisminthehead，CaptainTouchit。
　　TOUCHIT。——Itisforthatyouputonthespectacles，andmakeyourselflookahundredyearsold？
　　JULIA。——Myeyesareweak，CaptainTouchit。
　　TOUCHIT。——WeakwithweepingforTomFlight。Youhypocrite！Showmeyoureyes！
　　MISSP。——Nonsense！
　　TOUCHIT。——Showmeyoureyes，Isay，orI’lltellaboutTomFlightandthathehasbeenmarriedatMadrasthesetwoyears。
　　MISSP。——Oh，youhorridman！[takesglassesoff。]There。
　　TOUCHIT。——Translucentorbs！beamsofflashinglight！lovelylashesveilingcelestialbrightness！No，theyhaven’tcriedmuchforTomFlight，thatfaithlesscaptain！norforLawrenceO’Reilly，thatkillingEditor。Itisluckyyoukeeptheglassesonthem，ortheywouldtransfixHoraceMilliken，myfriendthewidowerhere。DOyoualwayswearthemwhenyouarealonewithhim？
　　MISSP。——IneverAMalonewithhim。Blessme！IfLadyKickleburythoughtmyeyeswere——well，well——youknowwhatImean，——ifshethoughtherson—in—lawlookedatme，Ishouldbeturnedoutofdoorsthenextday，IamsureIshould。Andthen，poorMr。
　　Milliken！heneverlooksatME——heavenhelphim！Why，hecan’tseemeforherladyship’snoseandawfulcapsandribbons！Hesitsandlooksattheportraityonder，andsighsso。Hethinksthatheislostingriefforhiswifeatthisverymoment。
　　TOUCHIT。——Whatawomanthatwas——eh，Julia——thatdepartedangel！
　　Whatatempershehadbeforeherdeparture！
　　MISSP。——Butthewindwastemperedtothelamb。Ifshewasangry——
　　thelambwassoverylamblike，andmeek，andfleecy。
　　TOUCHIT。——Andwhatadesperateflirtthedepartedangelwas！I
　　knewhalfadozenfellows，beforehermarriage，whomshethrewover，becauseMillikenwassorich。
　　MISSP。——Shewasconsistentatleast，anddidnotchangeaftermarriage，assomeladiesdo;butflirted，asyoucallit，justasmuchasbefore。AtParis，youngMr。Verney，theattache，wasneveroutofthehouse:atRome，Mr。Beard，theartist，wasalwaysdrawingpicturesofher:atNaples，whenpoorMr。M。wentawaytolookafterhisaffairsatSt。Petersburg，littleCountPosilippowasforevercomingtolearnEnglishandpractiseduets。Shescarcelyeversawthepoorchildren——[changinghermannerasLadyKICKLEBURYenters]Hush——mylady！
　　TOUCHIT。——Youmaywellsay，"poorchildren，"deprivedofsuchawoman！MissPrior，whomIknewinveryearlydays——asyourladyshipknows——wasspeaking——wasspeakingofthelossourpoorfriendsustained。
　　LADYK。——Ah，sir，whataloss！[lookingatthepicture。]
　　TOUCHIT。——Whatawomanshewas——whatasuperiorcreature！
　　LADYK。——Acreature——anangel！
　　TOUCHIT。——Mercyuponus！howsheandmyladyusedtoquarrel！
　　[aside。]Whatatemper！
　　LADYK。——Hm——oh，yes——whatatemper[ratherdoubtfullyatfirst]。
　　TOUCHIT。——WhatalosstoMillikenandthedarlingchildren！
　　MISSPRIOR。——LuckilytheyhaveYOUwiththemmadam。
　　LADYK。——AndIwillstaywiththem，MissPrior;Iwillstaywiththem！IwillneverpartfromHorace，Iamdetermined。
　　MISSP。——Ah！Iamverygladyoustay，forifIhadnotYOUforaprotector，IthinkyouknowImustgo，LadyKicklebury。Ithinkyouknowtherearethosewhowouldforgetmyattachmenttothesedarlingchildren，myservicesto——toher——anddismissthepoorgoverness。ButwhileyoustayIcanstay，dearLadyKicklebury！
　　WithyoutodefendmefromjealousyIneednotQUITEbeafraid。
　　LADYK。——OfMrs。Bonnington？OfMr。Milliken’smother;oftheparson’swifewhowritesouthisstupidsermons，andhashalfadozenchildrenofherown？IshouldthinkNOTindeed！Iamthenaturalprotectorofthesechildren。Iamtheirmother。Ihavenohusband！YouSTAYinthishouse，MissPrior。Youareafaithful，attachedcreature——thoughyouweresentinbysomebodyIdon’tlikeverymuch[pointingtoTOUCHIT，whowentofflaughingwhenJULIA
　　beganherspeech，andisnowlookingatprints，&c。，innextroom]。
　　MISSP。——CaptainTouchitmaynotbeinallthingswhatonecouldwish。ButhiskindnesshasformedthehappinessofmylifeinmakingmeacquaintedwithYOU，ma’am:andIamsureyouwouldnothavemebeungratefultohim。
　　LADYK。——Amosthighlyprincipledyoungwoman。[GoesoutingardenandwalksupanddownwithCaptainTOUCHIT。]
　　EnterMrs。BONNINGTON。
　　MISSP。——Oh，howgladIamyouarecome，Mrs。Bonnington。Haveyoubroughtmethatprettyhymnyoupromisedme？Youalwayskeepyourpromises，eventopoorgovernesses。IreaddearMr。Bonnington’ssermon！ItwassointerestingthatIreallycouldnotthinkofgoingtosleepuntilIhadreaditallthrough;itwasdelightful，butoh！it’sstillbetterwhenhepreachesit！IhopeIdidnotdowrongincopyingapartofit？Iwishtoimpressitonthechildren。Therearesomeworldlyinfluencesatworkwiththem，dearmadam[lookingatLadyK。inthegarden]，whichIdomyfeebleeffortto——tomodify。IwishYOUcouldcomeoftener。
　　MRS。B。——Iwilltry，mydear——Iwilltry。Emilyhassweetdispositions。
　　MISSP。——Ah，shetakesafterhergrandmammaBonnington！
　　MRS。B。——ButGeorgewassadlyfractiousjustnowintheschool—roombecauseItriedhimwithatract。
　　MISSP。——Letushopeforbettertimes！Dobewithyourchildren，dearMrs。Bonnington，asconstantlyaseveryoucan，forMYsakeaswellastheirs！Iwantprotectionandadviceaswellastheydo。
　　TheGOVERNESS，dearlady，looksuptoyouaswellasthepupils;
　　SHEwantstheteachingwhichyouanddearMr。Bonningtoncangiveher！Ah，whycouldnotMr。andMrs。Bonningtoncomeandlivehere，Ioftenthink？Thechildrenwouldhavecompanionsintheirdearyoungunclesandaunts;sopleasantitwouldbe。Thehouseisquitelargeenough;thatis，ifherladyshipdidnotoccupythethreesouthroomsintheleftwing。Ah，why，WHYcouldn’tyoucome？
　　MRS。B。——Youareakind，affectionatecreature，MissPrior。IdonotverymuchlikethegentlemanwhorecommendedyoutoArabella，youknow。ButIdothinkhesentmysonagoodgovernessforhischildren。
　　TwoLadieswalkupanddowninfrontgarden。
　　TOUCHITenters。
　　TOUCHIT。——MissJuliaPrior，youareawonder！Iwatchyouwithrespectandsurprise。
　　MISSP。——Me！whathaveIdone？apoorfriendlessgoverness——respectME？
　　TOUCHIT。——IhaveamindtotellthosetwoladieswhatIthinkofMissJuliaPrior。IftheyknewyouasIknowyou，OJuliaPrior，whatashortreignyourswouldbe！
　　MISSP。——Ihavetomanagethemalittle。Eachseparatelyitisnotsodifficult。Butwhentheyaretogether，oh，itisveryhardsometimes。
　　EnterMILLIKENdressed，shakeshandswithMissP。
　　MILLIKEN。——MissPrior！areyouwell？Havethechildrenbeengood？
　　andlearnedalltheirlessons？
　　MISSP。——Thechildrenareprettygood，sir。
　　MILLIKEN。——Well，that’sagreatdealastimesgo。Donotbotherthemwithtoomuchlearning，MissPrior。Letthemhaveaneasylife。Timeenoughfortroublewhenagecomes。
　　EnterJohn。
　　JOHN。——Dinner，sir。[Andexit。]
　　MILLIKEN。——Dinner，ladies。MyLadyKicklebury（givesarmtoLadyK）。
　　LADYK。——MydearHorace，youSHOULDN’TshakehandswithMissPrior。
　　Youshouldkeeppeopleofthatclassatadistance，mydearcreature。[Theygointodinner，CaptainTOUCHITfollowingwithMrs。BONNINGTON。Astheygoout，enterMARYwithchildren’stea—
　　tray，&c。，childrenfollowing，andafterthemMrs。PRIOR。MARY
　　giveshertea。]
　　MRS。PRIOR。——Thankyou，Mary！Youaresoverykind！Oh，whatdelicioustea！
　　GEORGY。——Isay，Mrs。Prior，Idaresayyouwouldliketodinebest，wouldn’tyou？
　　MRS。P。——Blessyou，mydarlinglove，Ihadmydinneratoneo’clockwithmychildrenathome。
　　GEORGY。——Sohadwe:butwegointodessertveryoften;andthendon’twehavecakesandorangesandcandied—peelandmacaroonsandthings！Wearenottogointo—day;becauseBellaatesomanystrawberriesshemadeherselfill。
　　BELLA。——Sodidyou。
　　GEORGY。——I’maman，andmeneatmorethanwomen，twiceasmuchaswomen。WhenI’mamanI’lleatasmuchcakeaseverIlike。I
　　say，Mary，giveusthemarmalade。
　　MRS。P。——Oh，whatnicemarmalade！Iknowofsomepoorchildren——
　　MISSP。——Mamma！don’t，mamma[inanimploringtone]。
　　MRS。P。——Iknowoftwopoorchildrenathome，whohaveveryseldomnicemarmaladeandcake，youngpeople。
　　GEORGE。——YoumeanAdolphusandFrederickandAmelia，yourchildren。
　　Well，theyshallhavemarmaladeandcake。
　　BELLA。——Oh，yes！I’llgivethemmine。
　　MRS。P。——Darling，dearestchild！
　　GEORGE[hismouthfull]。——Iwon’tgive’emmine:buttheycanhaveanotherpot，youknow。Youhavealwaysgotabasketwithyou，Mrs。
　　Prior。Iknowyouhave。Youhaditthatdayyoutookthecoldfowl。
　　MRS。P。——Forthepoorblindblackman！oh，howthankfulhewas！
　　GEORGE。——Idon’tknowwhetheritwasforablackman。Mary，getusanotherpotofmarmalade。
　　MARY。——Idon’tknow，MasterGeorge。