首页 >出版文学> S022>第6章

第6章

  neverthelessthelightisallone。"
  AndIsawoverthebridgenearestme,whichwaswiderthantheother,countlessfootmarksgo。IaskedGodwhysomanywentoverit。
  Godsaid,"Itslopeslessdeeply,andleadstothefirstheaven。"
  AndIsawthatsomeofthefootmarkswereoffeetreturning。IaskedGodhowitwas。
  Hesaid,"NomanwhohasonceenteredHeaveneverleavesit;butsome,whentheyhavegonehalfway,turnback,becausetheyareafraidthereisnolandbeyond。"
  Isaid,"Hasnoneeverreturned?"
  Godsaid,"No;onceinHeavenalwaysinHeaven。"
  AndGodtookmeover。Andwhenwecametooneofthegreatdoors——forHeavenhasmoredoorsthanone,andtheyareallopen——thepostsroseupsohighoneithersideIcouldnotseethetop,norindeediftherewereany。
  AnditseemedtomesowidethatallHellcouldgointhroughit。
  IsaidtoGod,"Whichisthelarger,HeavenorHell?"
  Godsaid,"Hellisaswide,butHeavenisdeeper。AllHellcouldbeengulfedinHeaven,butallHeavencouldnotbeengulfedinHell。"
  Andweentered。Itwasastillgreatland。Themountainsroseoneveryhand,andtherewasapaleclearlight;andIsawitcamefromtherocksandstones。IaskedGodhowitwas。
  ButGoddidnotanswerme。
  Ilookedandwondered,forIhadthoughtHeavenwouldbeotherwise。Andafterawhileitbegantogrowbrighter,asifthedaywerebreaking,andI
  askedGodifthesunwerenotgoingtorise。
  Godsaid,"No;wearecomingtowherethepeopleare。"
  Andaswewentonitgrewbrighterandbrightertillitwasburningday;
  andontherockwereflowersblooming,andtreesblossomedattheroadside;
  andstreamsofwaterraneverywhere,andIheardthebirdssinging;IaskedGodwheretheywere。
  Godsaid,"Itisthepeoplecallingtooneanother。"
  AndwhenwecamenearerIsawthemwalking,andtheyshoneastheywalked。
  IaskedGodhowitwastheyworenocovering。
  Godsaid,"Becausealltheirbodygivesthelight;theydarenotcoveranypart。"
  AndIaskedGodwhattheyweredoing。
  Godsaid,"Shiningontheplantsthattheymaygrow。"
  AndIsawthatsomewereworkingincompanies,andsomealone,butmostwereintwos,sometimestwomenandsometimestwowomen;butgenerallytherewasonemanandonewoman;andIaskedGodhowitwas。
  Godsaid,"Whenonemanandonewomanshinetogether,itmakesthemostperfectlight。Manyplantsneedthatfortheirgrowing。Nevertheless,therearemorekindsofplantsinHeaventhanone,andtheyneedmanykindsoflight。"
  Andonefromamongthepeoplecamerunningtowardsme;andwhenhecamenearitseemedtomethatheandIhadplayedtogetherwhenwewerelittlechildren,andthatwehadbeenbornonthesameday。AndItoldGodwhatI
  felt;Godsaid,"AllmenfeelsoinHeavenwhenanothercomestowardsthem。"
  Andhewhorantowardsmeheldmyhand,andledmethroughthebrightlights。Andwhenwecameamongthetreeshesangaloud,andhiscompanionanswered,anditwasawoman,andheshowedmetoher。Shesaid,"Hemusthavewater";andshetooksomeinherhands,andfedme(IhadbeenafraidtodrinkofthewaterinHell),andtheygatheredfruitforme,andgaveitmetoeat。Theysaid,"Weshonelongtomakeitripen,"andtheylaughedtogetherastheysawmeeatit。
  Themansaid,"Heisveryweary;hemustsleep"(forIhadnotdaredtosleepinHell),andhelaidmyheadonhiscompanion’skneeandspreadherhairoutoverme。Islept,andallthewhileinmysleepIthoughtIheardthebirdscallingacrossme。AndwhenIwokeitwaslikeearlymorning,withthedewoneverything。
  Andthemantookmyhandandledmetoahiddenspotamongtherocks。Thegroundwasveryhard,butoutofitweresproutingtinyplants,andtherewasalittlestreamrunning。Hesaid,"Thisisagardenwearemaking,nooneelseknowsofit。Weshinehereeveryday;see,thegroundhascrackedwithourshining,andthislittlestreamisburstingout。See,theflowersaregrowing。"
  Andheclimbedontherocksandpickedfromabovetwolittleflowerswithdewonthem,andgavethemtome。AndItookoneineachhand;myhandsshoneasIheldthem。Hesaid,"Thisgardenisforallwhenitisfinished。"Andhewentawaytohiscompanion,andIwentoutintothegreatpathway。
  AndasIwalkedinthelightIheardaloudsoundofmuchsinging。AndwhenIcamenearerIsawonewithclosedeyes,singing,andhisfellowswerestandingroundhim;andthelightontheclosedeyeswasbrighterthananythingIhadseeninHeaven。Iaskedonewhoitwas。Andhesaid,"Hush!Oursingingbird。"
  AndIaskedwhytheeyesshoneso。
  Andhesaid,"Theycannotsee,andwehavekissedthemtilltheyshoneso。"
  Andthepeoplegatheredcloserroundhim。
  AndwhenIwentalittlefurtherIsawacrowdcrossingamongthetreesoflightwithgreatlaughter。WhentheycamecloseIsawtheycarriedonewithouthandsorfeet。AndalightcamefromthemaimedlimbssobrightthatIcouldnotlookatthem。
  AndIsaidtoone,"Whatisit?"
  Heanswered,"Thisisourbrotherwhooncefellandlosthishandsandfeet,andsincethenhecannothelphimself;butwehavetouchedthemaimedstumpssooftenthatnowtheyshinebrighterthananythinginHeaven。Wepasshimonthathemayshineonthingsthatneedmuchheat。Nooneisallowedtokeephimlong,hebelongstoall";andtheywentonamongthetrees。
  IsaidtoGod,"Thisisastrangeland。Ihadthoughtblindnessandmaimednessweregreatevils。Heremenmakethemtoarejoicing。"
  Godsaid,"Didstthouthenthinkthatlovehadneedofeyesandhands!"
  AndIwalkeddowntheshiningwaywithpalmsoneitherhand。IsaidtoGod,"EversinceIwasalittlechildandsataloneandcried,Ihavedreamedofthisland,andnowIwillnotgoawayagain。Iwillstayhereandshine。"AndIbegantotakeoffmygarments,thatImightshineasothersinthatland;butwhenIlookeddownIsawmybodygavenolight。I
  saidtoGod,"Howisit?"
  Godsaid,"Istherenodarkbloodinyourheart;isitbitteragainstnone?"
  AndIsaid,"Yes——";andIthought——"NowisthetimewhenIwilltellGod,thatwhichIhavebeen,meaningtotellhimallalong,howbadlymyfellow—
  menhavetreatedme。Howtheyhavemisunderstoodme。HowIhaveintendedtobemagnanimousandgeneroustothem,andthey——。"AndIbegantotellGod;butwhenIlookeddownalltheflowerswerewitheringundermybreath,andIwassilent。
  AndGodcalledmetocomeuphigher,andIgatheredmymantleaboutmeandfollowedhim。
  Andtherocksgrewhigherandsteeperoneveryside;andwecameatlasttoaplacewhereagreatmountainrose,whosetopwaslostintheclouds。AndonitssideIsawmenworking;andtheypickedattheearthwithhugepicks;andIsawthattheylabouredmightily。Andsomelabouredincompanies,butmostlabouredsingly。AndIsawthedropsofsweatfallfromtheirforeheads,andthemusclesoftheirarmsstandoutwithlabour。
  AndIsaid,"Ihadnotthoughtinheaventoseemenlabourso!"AndI
  thoughtofthegardenwheremensangandloved,andIwonderedthatanyshouldchoosetolabouronthatbaremountain—side。AndIsawupontheforeheadsofthemenastheyworkedalight,andthedropswhichfellfromthemastheyworkedhadlight。
  AndIaskedGodwhattheywereseekingfor。
  AndGodtouchedmyeyes,andIsawthatwhattheyfoundweresmallstones,whichhadbeentoobrightformetoseebefore;andIsawthatthelightofthestonesandthelightonthemen’sforeheadswasthesame。AndIsawthatwhenonefoundastonehepasseditontohisfellow,andhetoanother,andhetoanother。Nomankeptthestonehefound。Andattimestheygatheredingreatcompanyaboutwhenalargestonewasfound,andraisedagreatshoutsothattheskyrang;thentheyworkedonagain。
  AndIaskedGodwhattheydidwiththestonestheyfoundatlast。ThenGodtouchedmyeyesagaintomakethemstronger;andIlooked,andatmyveryfeetwasamightycrown。Thelightstreamedoutfromit。
  Godsaid,"Eachstoneastheyfinditissethere。"
  Andthecrownwaswroughtaccordingtoamarvellouspattern;onepatternranthroughall,yeteachpartwasdifferent。
  IsaidtoGod,"Howdoeseachmanknowwheretosethisstone,sothatthepatternisworkedout?"
  Godsaid,"Becauseinthelighthisforeheadshedseachmanseesfaintlyoutlinedthatfullcrown。"
  AndIsaid,"Buthowisitthateachstoneisjoinedalongitsedgestoitsfellows,sothatthereisnoseamanywhere?"
  Godsaid,"Thestonesarealive;theygrow。"
  AndIsaid,"Butwhatdoeseachmangainbyhisworking?"
  Godsaid,"Heseeshisoutlinefilled。"
  Isaid,"Butthosestoneswhicharelastsetcoverthosewhichwerefirst;
  andthosewillagainbecoveredbythosewhichcomelater。"
  Godsaid,"Theyarecovered,butnothid。Thelightisthelightofall。
  Withoutthefirst,nolast。"
  AndIsaidtoGod,"Whenwillthiscrownbeended?"
  AndGodsaid,"Lookup!"
  Ilookedup;andIsawthemountaintoweraboveme,butitssummitIcouldnotsee;itwaslostintheclouds。
  Godsaidnomore。
  AndIlookedatthecrown:thenalongingseizedme。Likethepassionofamotherforthechildwhomdeathhastaken;liketheyearningofafriendforthefriendwhomlifehasburied;likethehungerofdyingeyesforalifethatisslipping;likethethirstofasoulforloveatitsfirstspringwaking,so,butfiercerwasthelonginginme。
  IcriedtoGod,"Itoowillworkhere;Itoowillsetstonesinthewonderfulpattern;itshallgrowbeneathMYhand。Andifitbethat,labouringhereforyears,Ishouldnotfindonestone,atleastIwillbewiththementhatlabourhere。Ishallheartheirshoutofjoywheneachstoneisfound;Ishalljoinintheirtriumph,Ishallshoutamongthem;I
  shallseethecrowngrow。"SogreatwasmylongingasIlookedatthecrown,Ithoughtafaintlightfellfrommyforeheadalso。
  Godsaid,"Doyounothearthesinginginthegardens?"
  Isaid,"No,Ihearnothing;Iseeonlythecrown。"AndIwasdumbwithlonging;IforgotalltheflowersofthelowerHeavenandthesingingthere。AndIranforward,andthrewmymantleontheearthandbenttoseizeoneofthemightytoolswhichlaythere。Icouldnotliftitfromtheearth。
  Godsaid,"WherehastTHOUearnedthestrengthtoraiseit?Takeupthymantle。"
  AndItookupmymantleandfollowedwhereGodcalledme;butIlookedback,andIsawthecrownburning,mycrownthatIhadloved。
  Higherandhigherweclimbed,andtheairgrewthinner。Notatreeorplantwasonthebarerocks,andthestillnesswasunbroken。Mybreathcamehardandquick,andthebloodcreptwithinmyfinger—tips。IsaidtoGod,"IsthisHeaven?"
  Godsaid,"Yes;itisthehighest。"
  Andstillweclimbed。IsaidtoGod,"Icannotbreathesohigh。"
  Godsaid,"Becausetheairispure?"
  Andmyheadgrewdizzy,andasIclimbedthebloodburstfrommyfinger—
  tips。
  Thenwecameoutuponalonelymountain—top。
  Nolivingbeingmovedthere;butfaroffonasolitarypeakIsawalonelyfigurestanding。WhetheritweremanorwomanIcouldnottell;forpartlyitseemedthefigureofawoman,butitslimbswerethemightylimbsofaman。IaskedGodwhetheritwasmanorwoman。
  Godsaid,"IntheleastHeavensexreignssupreme;inthehigheritisnotnoticed;butinthehighestitdoesnotexist。"
  AndIsawthefigurebendoveritswork,andlabourmightily,butwhatitlabouredatIcouldnotsee。
  IsaidtoGod,"Howcameithere?"
  Godsaid,"Byabloodystair。StepbystepitmountedfromthelowestHell,anddaybydayasHellgrewfartherandHeavennonearer,ithungalonebetweentwoworlds。Hourbyhourinthatbitterstruggleitslimbsgrewlarger,tilltherefellfromitragbyragthegarmentswhichitstartedwith。Dropsfellfromitseyesasitstrainedthem;eachstepitclimbedwaswetwithblood。Thenitcameouthere。"
  AndIthoughtofthegardenwheremensangwiththeirarmsaroundoneanother;andthemountain—sidewheretheyworkedincompany。AndI
  shuddered。
  AndIsaid,"Isitnotterriblyalonehere?"
  Godsaid,"Itisneveralone!"
  Isaid,"Whathasitforallitslabour?Iseenothingreturntoit。"
  ThenGodtouchedmyeyes,andIsawstretchedoutbeneathustheplainsofHeavenandHell,andallthatwaswithinthem。
  Godsaid,"Fromthatloneheightonwhichhestands,allthingsareopen。
  Tohimiscleartheshininginthegarden,heseestheflowerbreakforthandthestreamssparkle;noshoutisraiseduponthemountain—sidebuthisearmayhearit。Heseesthecrowngrowandthelightshootfromit。AllHellisopentohim。Heseesthepathsmountupwards。Tohim,HellistheseedgroundfromwhichHeavensprings。Heseesthesapascending。"
  AndIsawthefigurebendoveritswork,andthelightfromitsfacefelluponit。
  AndIsaidtoGod,"Whatisitmaking?"
  AndGodsaid,"Music!"
  Andhetouchedmyears,andIheardit。
  AndafteralongwhileIwhisperedtoGod,"ThisisHeaven。"
  AndGodaskedmewhyIwascrying。ButIcouldnotanswerforjoy。
  Andthefaceturnedfromitswork,andthelightfelluponme。ThenitgrewsobrightIcouldnotseethingsseparately;andwhichwereGod,ortheman,orI,Icouldnottell;wewereallblended。IcriedtoGod,"Whereareyou?"buttherewasnoanswer,onlymusicandlight。
  Afterwards,whenithadgrownsodarkagainthatIcouldseethingsseparately,IfoundthatIwasstandingtherewrappedtightinmylittleold,brown,earthlycloak,andGodandthemanwereseparatedfromeachother,andfromme。
  IdidnotdaresayIwouldgoandmakemusicbesidetheman。IknewI
  couldnotreacheventohisknee,normovetheinstrumentheplayed。ButI
  thoughtIwouldstandthereonmylittlepeakandsinganaccompanimenttothatgreatmusic。AndItried;butmyvoicefailed。Itpipedandquavered。Icouldnotsingthattune。Iwassilent。
  ThenGodpointedtome,thatIshouldgooutofHeaven。
  AndIcriedtoGod,"Oh,letmestayhere!Ifindeeditbe,asIknowitis,thatIamnotgreatenoughtosinguponthemountain,norstrongenoughtolabouronitsside,norbrightenoughtoshineandlovewithinthegarden,atleastletmegodowntothegreatgateway;humblyIwillkneeltheresweeping;and,asthesavedpassin,Iwillseethelightupontheirfaces。Ishallhearthesinginginthegarden,andtheshoutuponthehillside——"
  Godsaid,"Itmaynotbe;"hepointed。
  AndIcried,"IfImaynotstayinHeaven,thenletmegodowntoHell,andIwillgraspthehandsofmenandwomenthere;andslowly,holdingoneanother’shands,wewillworkourwayupwards。"
  StillGodpointed。
  AndIthrewmyselfupontheearthandcried,"Earthissosmall,somean!
  ItisnotmeetasoulshouldseeHeavenandbecastoutagain!"
  AndGodlaidhishandonme,andsaid,"Gobacktoearth:thatwhichyouseekisthere。"
  Iawoke:itwasmorning。Thesilenceanddarknessofthenightweregone。
  ThroughmynarrowatticwindowIsawthelightofanotherday。Iclosedmyeyesandturnedtowardsthewall:Icouldnotlookuponthedullgreyworld。
  Inthestreetsbelow,menandwomenstreamedpastbyhundreds;Iheardthebeatoftheirfeetonthepavement。Menontheirwaytobusiness;servantsonerrands;boyshurryingtoschool;wearyprofessorspacingslowlytheoldstreet;prostitutes,menandwomen,draggingtheirfeetwearilyafterlastnight’sdebauch;artistswithquick,impatientfootsteps;tradesmenfororders;childrentoseekforbread。Iheardthestreambeatby。Andatthealley’smouth,atthestreetcorner,abrokenbarrel—organwasplaying;
  sometimesitquaveredandalmoststopped,thenwentonagain,likeabrokenhumanvoice。
  Ilistened:myheartscarcelymoved;itwasascoldaslead。Icouldnotbearthelongdaybeforeme;andItriedtosleepagain;yetstillIheardthefeetuponthepavement。AndsuddenlyIheardthemcryloudastheybeat,"Weareseeking!——weareseeking!——weareseeking!"andthebrokenbarrel—organatthestreetcornersobbed,"TheBeautiful!——theBeautiful!——
  theBeautiful!"Andmyheart,whichhadbeendead,criedoutwitheverythrob,"Love!——Truth!——theBeautiful!——theBeautiful!"ItwasthemusicI
  hadheardinHeaventhatIcouldnotsingthere。
  AndfullyIawoke。
  Uponthefadedquilt,acrossmybedalongyellowstreakofpaleLondonsunlightwaslying。Itfellthroughmynarrowatticwindow。
  Ilaughed。Irose。
  Iwasgladthelongdaywasbeforeme。
  ParisandLondon。