Shelookedathim，ashestoodneartheothersideofthebed。Hiscapwaspulledlowoverhisbrow，hisblackovercoatwasbuttonedcloseuptohischin。Hisfacewasstrangeandluminous。Hewasinevitableasasupernaturalbeing。Whenshehadseenhim，sheknew。Sheknewtherewassomethingfatalinthesituation，andshemustacceptit。Yetshemustchallengehim。
　　`Howdidyoucomeup？'sheasked。
　　`Iwalkedupthestairs——thedoorwasopen。'
　　Shelookedathim。
　　`Ihaven'tclosedthisdoor，either，'hesaid。Shewalkedswiftlyacrosstheroom，andclosedherdoor，softly，andlockedit。Thenshecameback。
　　Shewaswonderful，withstartledeyesandflushedcheeks，andherplaitofhairrathershortandthickdownherback，andherlong，finewhitenight—dressfallingtoherfeet。
　　Shesawthathisbootswereallclayey，evenhistrouserswereplasteredwithclay。Andshewonderedifhehadmadefootprintsallthewayup。Hewasaverystrangefigure，standinginherbedroom，nearthetossedbed。
　　`Whyhaveyoucome？'sheasked，almostquerulous。
　　`Iwantedto，'hereplied。
　　Andthisshecouldseefromhisface。Itwasfate。
　　`Youaresomuddy，'shesaid，indistaste，butgently。
　　Helookeddownathisfeet。
　　`Iwaswalkinginthedark，'hereplied。Buthefeltvividlyelated。
　　Therewasapause。Hestoodononesideofthetumbledbed，sheontheother。Hedidnoteventakehiscapfromhisbrows。
　　`Andwhatdoyouwantofme，'shechallenged。
　　Helookedaside，anddidnotanswer。Savefortheextremebeautyandmysticattractivenessofthisdistinct，strangeface，shewouldhavesenthimaway。Buthisfacewastoowonderfulandundiscoveredtoher。Itfascinatedherwiththefascinationofpurebeauty，castaspellonher，likenostalgia，anache。
　　`Whatdoyouwantofme？'sherepeatedinanestrangedvoice。
　　Hepulledoffhiscap，inamovementofdream—liberation，andwentacrosstoher。Buthecouldnottouchher，becauseshestoodbarefootinhernight—dress，andhewasmuddyanddamp。Hereyes，wideandlargeandwondering，watchedhim，andaskedhimtheultimatequestion。
　　`Icame——becauseImust，'hesaid。`Whydoyouask？'
　　Shelookedathimindoubtandwonder。
　　`Imustask，'shesaid。
　　Heshookhisheadslightly。
　　`Thereisnoanswer，'hereplied，withstrangevacancy。
　　Therewasabouthimacurious，andalmostgodlikeairofsimplicityandnativedirectness。Heremindedherofanapparition，theyoungHermes。
　　`Butwhydidyoucometome？'shepersisted。
　　`Because——ithastobeso。Ifthereweren'tyouintheworld，thenIshouldn'tbeintheworld，either。'
　　Shestoodlookingathim，withlarge，wide，wondering，strickeneyes。
　　Hiseyeswerelookingsteadilyintohersallthetime，andheseemedfixedinanoddsupernaturalsteadfastness。Shesighed。Shewaslostnow。Shehadnochoice。
　　`Won'tyoutakeoffyourboots，'shesaid。`Theymustbewet。'
　　Hedroppedhiscaponachair，unbuttonedhisovercoat，liftinguphischintounfastenthethroatbuttons。Hisshort，keenhairwasruffled。
　　Hewassobeautifullyblond，likewheat。Hepulledoffhisovercoat。
　　Quicklyhepulledoffhisjacket，pulledloosehisblacktie，andwasunfasteninghisstuds，whichwereheadedeachwithapearl。Shelistened，watching，hopingnoonewouldhearthestarchedlinencrackle。Itseemedtosnaplikepistolshots。
　　Hehadcomeforvindication。Shelethimholdherinhisarms，clasphercloseagainsthim。Hefoundinheraninfiniterelief。Intoherhepouredallhispent—updarknessandcorrosivedeath，andhewaswholeagain。
　　Itwaswonderful，marvellous，itwasamiracle。Thiswastheeverrecurrentmiracleofhislife，attheknowledgeofwhichhewaslostinanecstasyofreliefandwonder。Andshe，subject，receivedhimasavesselfilledwithhisbitterpotionofdeath。Shehadnopoweratthiscrisistoresist。
　　Theterriblefrictionalviolenceofdeathfilledher，andshereceiveditinanecstasyofsubjection，inthroesofacute，violentsensation。
　　Ashedrewnearertoher，heplungeddeeperintoherenvelopingsoftwarmth，awonderfulcreativeheatthatpenetratedhisveinsandgavehimlifeagain。Hefelthimselfdissolvingandsinkingtorestinthebathofherlivingstrength。Itseemedasifherheartinherbreastwereasecondunconquerablesun，intotheglowandcreativestrengthofwhichheplungedfurtherandfurther。Allhisveins，thatweremurderedandlacerated，healedsoftlyaslifecamepulsingin，stealinginvisiblyintohimasifitweretheall—powerfuleffluenceofthesun。Hisblood，whichseemedtohavebeendrawnbackintodeath，cameebbingonthereturn，surely，beautifully，powerfully。
　　Hefelthislimbsgrowingfullerandflexiblewithlife，hisbodygainedanunknownstrength。Hewasamanagain，strongandrounded。Andhewasachild，sosoothedandrestoredandfullofgratitude。
　　Andshe，shewasthegreatbathoflife，heworshippedher。Motherandsubstanceofalllifeshewas。Andhe，childandman，receivedofherandwasmadewhole。Hispurebodywasalmostkilled。Butthemiraculous，softeffluenceofherbreastsuffusedoverhim，overhisseared，damagedbrain，likeahealinglymph，likeasoft，soothingflowoflifeitself，perfectasifhewerebathedinthewombagain。
　　Hisbrainwashurt，seared，thetissuewasasifdestroyed。Hehadnotknownhowhurthewas，howhistissue，theverytissueofhisbrainwasdamagedbythecorrosivefloodofdeath。Now，asthehealinglymphofhereffluenceflowedthroughhim，heknewhowdestroyedhewas，likeaplantwhosetissueisburstfrominwardsbyafrost。
　　Heburiedhissmall，hardheadbetweenherbreasts，andpressedherbreastsagainsthimwithhishands。Andshewithquiveringhandspressedhisheadagainsther，ashelaysuffusedout，andshelayfullyconscious。
　　Thelovelycreativewarmthfloodedthroughhimlikeasleepoffecunditywithinthewomb。Ah，ifonlyshewouldgranthimtheflowofthislivingeffluence，hewouldberestored，hewouldbecompleteagain。Hewasafraidshewoulddenyhimbeforeitwasfinished。Likeachildatthebreast，hecleavedintenselytoher，andshecouldnotputhimaway。Andhisseared，ruinedmembranerelaxed，softened，thatwhichwassearedandstiffandblastedyieldedagain，becamesoftandflexible，palpitatingwithnewlife。
　　Hewasinfinitelygrateful，astoGod，orasaninfantisatitsmother'sbreast。Hewasgladandgratefullikeadelirium，ashefelthisownwholenesscomeoverhimagain，ashefeltthefull，unutterablesleepcomingoverhim，thesleepofcompleteexhaustionandrestoration。
　　ButGudrunlaywideawake，destroyedintoperfectconsciousness。Shelaymotionless，withwideeyesstaringmotionlessintothedarkness，whilsthewassunkawayinsleep，hisarmsroundher。
　　Sheseemedtobehearingwavesbreakonahiddenshore，long，slow，gloomywaves，breakingwiththerhythmoffate，somonotonouslythatitseemedeternal。Thisendlessbreakingofslow，sullenwavesoffateheldherlifeapossession，whilstshelaywithdark，wideeyeslookingintothedarkness。Shecouldseesofar，asfaraseternity——yetshesawnothing。
　　Shewassuspendedinperfectconsciousness——andofwhatwassheconscious？
　　Thismoodofextremity，whenshelaystaringintoeternity，utterlysuspended，andconsciousofeverything，tothelastlimits，passedandleftheruneasy。Shehadlainsolongmotionless。Shemoved，shebecameself—conscious。Shewantedtolookathim，toseehim。
　　Butshedarednotmakealight，becausesheknewhewouldwake，andshedidnotwanttobreakhisperfectsleep，thatsheknewhehadgotofher。
　　Shedisengagedherself，softly，androseupalittletolookathim。
　　Therewasafaintlight，itseemedtoher，intheroom。Shecouldjustdistinguishhisfeatures，asheslepttheperfectsleep。Inthisdarkness，sheseemedtoseehimsodistinctly。Buthewasfaroff，inanotherworld。
　　Ah，shecouldshriekwithtorment，hewassofaroff，andperfected，inanotherworld。Sheseemedtolookathimasatapebblefarawayundercleardarkwater。Andherewasshe，leftwithalltheanguishofconsciousness，whilsthewassunkdeepintotheotherelementofmindless，remote，livingshadow—gleam。Hewasbeautiful，far—off，andperfected。Theywouldneverbetogether。Ah，thisawful，inhumandistancewhichwouldalwaysbeinterposedbetweenherandtheotherbeing！
　　Therewasnothingtodobuttoliestillandendure。Shefeltanoverwhelmingtendernessforhim，andadark，under—stirringofjealoushatred，thatheshouldliesoperfectandimmune，inanother—world，whilstshewastormentedwithviolentwakefulness，castoutintheouterdarkness。
　　Shelayinintenseandvividconsciousness，anexhaustingsuperconsciousness。
　　Thechurchclockstruckthehours，itseemedtoher，inquicksuccession。
　　Sheheardthemdistinctlyinthetensionofhervividconsciousness。Andhesleptasiftimewereonemoment，unchangingandunmoving。
　　Shewasexhausted，wearied。Yetshemustcontinueinthisstateofviolentactivesuperconsciousness。Shewasconsciousofeverything——herchildhood，hergirlhood，alltheforgottenincidents，alltheunrealisedinfluencesandallthehappeningsshehadnotunderstood，pertainingtoherself，toherfamily，toherfriends，herlovers，heracquaintances，everybody。Itwasasifshedrewaglitteringropeofknowledgeoutoftheseaofdarkness，drewanddrewanddrewitoutofthefathomlessdepthsofthepast，andstillitdidnotcometoanend，therewasnoendtoit，shemusthaulandhaulattheropeofglitteringconsciousness，pullitoutphosphorescentfromtheendlessdepthsoftheunconsciousness，tillshewasweary，aching，exhausted，andfittobreak，andyetshehadnotdone。
　　Ah，ifonlyshemightwakehim！Sheturneduneasily。Whencouldsherousehimandsendhimaway？Whencouldshedisturbhim？Andsherelapsedintoheractivityofautomaticconsciousness，thatwouldneverend。
　　Butthetimewasdrawingnearwhenshecouldwakehim。Itwaslikearelease。Theclockhadstruckfour，outsideinthenight。ThankGodthenighthadpassedalmostaway。Atfivehemustgo，andshewouldbereleased。
　　Thenshecouldrelaxandfillherownplace。Nowshewasdrivenupagainsthisperfectsleepingmotionlikeaknifewhite—hotonagrindstone。Therewassomethingmonstrousabouthim，abouthisjuxtapositionagainsther。
　　Thelasthourwasthelongest。Andyet，atlastitpassed。Herheartleaptwithrelief——yes，therewastheslow，strongstrokeofthechurchclock——atlast，afterthisnightofeternity。Shewaitedtocatcheachslow，fatalreverberation。`Three——four——five！'There，itwasfinished。
　　Aweightrolledoffher。
　　Sheraisedherself，leanedoverhimtenderly，andkissedhim。Shewassadtowakehim。Afterafewmoments，shekissedhimagain。Buthedidnotstir。Thedarling，hewassodeepinsleep！Whatashametotakehimoutofit。Shelethimliealittlelonger。Buthemustgo——hemustreallygo。
　　Withfullover—tendernessshetookhisfacebetweenherhands，andkissedhiseyes。Theeyesopened，heremainedmotionless，lookingather。Herheartstoodstill。Tohideherfacefromhisdreadfulopenedeyes，inthedarkness，shebentdownandkissedhim，whispering:
　　`Youmustgo，mylove。'
　　Butshewassickwithterror，sick。
　　Heputhisarmsroundher。Herheartsank。
　　`Butyoumustgo，mylove。It'slate。'
　　`Whattimeisit？'hesaid。
　　Strange，hisman'svoice。Shequivered。Itwasanintolerableoppressiontoher。
　　`Pastfiveo'clock，'shesaid。
　　Butheonlyclosedhisarmsroundheragain。Herheartcriedwithinherintorture。Shedisengagedherselffirmly。
　　`Youreallymustgo，'shesaid。
　　`Notforaminute，'hesaid。
　　Shelaystill，nestlingagainsthim，butunyielding。
　　`Notforaminute，'herepeated，claspinghercloser。
　　`Yes，'shesaid，unyielding，`I'mafraidifyoustayanylonger。'
　　Therewasacertaincoldnessinhervoicethatmadehimreleaseher，andshebrokeaway，roseandlitthecandle。Thatthenwastheend。
　　Hegotup。Hewaswarmandfulloflifeanddesire。Yethefeltalittlebitashamed，humiliated，puttingonhisclothesbeforeher，inthecandle—light。
　　Forhefeltrevealed，exposedtoher，atatimewhenshewasinsomewayagainsthim。Itwasallverydifficulttounderstand。Hedressedhimselfquickly，withoutcollarortie。Stillhefeltfullandcomplete，perfected。
　　Shethoughtithumiliatingtoseeamandressing:theridiculousshirt，theridiculoustrousersandbraces。Butagainanideasavedher。
　　`Itislikeaworkmangettinguptogotowork，'thoughtGudrun。`AndIamlikeaworkman'swife。'Butanachelikenauseawasuponher:anauseaofhim。
　　Hepushedhiscollarandtieintohisovercoatpocket。Thenhesatdownandpulledonhisboots。Theyweresodden，aswerehissocksandtrouser—bottoms。
　　Buthehimselfwasquickandwarm。
　　`Perhapsyououghttohaveputyourbootsondownstairs，'shesaid。
　　Atonce，withoutanswering，hepulledthemoffagain，andstoodholdingtheminhishand。Shehadthrustherfeetintoslippers，andflungalooseroberoundher。Shewasready。Shelookedathimashestoodwaiting，hisblackcoatbuttonedtothechin，hiscappulleddown，hisbootsinhishand。Andthepassionatealmosthatefulfascinationrevivedinherforamoment。Itwasnotexhausted。Hisfacewassowarm—looking，wide—eyedandfullofnewness，soperfect。Shefeltold，old。Shewenttohimheavily，tobekissed。Hekissedherquickly。Shewishedhiswarm，expressionlessbeautydidnotsofatallyputaspellonher，compelherandsubjugateher。Itwasaburdenuponher，thatsheresented，butcouldnotescape。
　　Yetwhenshelookedathisstraightman'sbrows，andathisrathersmall，well—shapednose，andathisblue，indifferenteyes，sheknewherpassionforhimwasnotyetsatisfied，perhapsnevercouldbesatisfied。Onlynowshewasweary，withanachelikenausea。Shewantedhimgone。
　　Theywentdownstairsquickly。Itseemedtheymadeaprodigiousnoise。
　　Hefollowedheras，wrappedinhervividgreenwrap，sheprecededhimwiththelight。Shesufferedbadlywithfear，lestherpeopleshouldberoused。
　　Hehardlycared。Hedidnotcarenowwhoknew。Andshehatedthisinhim。
　　Onemustbecautious。Onemustpreserveoneself。
　　Sheledthewaytothekitchen。Itwasneatandtidy，asthewomanhadleftit。Helookedupattheclock——twentyminutespastfiveThenhesatdownonachairtoputonhisboots。Shewaited，watchinghiseverymovement。Shewantedittobeover，itwasagreatnervousstrainonher。
　　Hestoodup——sheunboltedthebackdoor，andlookedout。Acold，rawnight，notyetdawn，withapieceofamooninthevaguesky。Shewasgladsheneednotgoout。
　　`Good—byethen，'hemurmured。
　　`I'llcometothegate，'shesaid。
　　Andagainshehurriedoninfront，towarnhimofthesteps。Andatthegate，oncemoreshestoodonthestepwhilsthestoodbelowher。
　　`Good—bye，'shewhispered。
　　Hekissedherdutifully，andturnedaway。
　　Shesufferedtormentshearinghisfirmtreadgoingsodistinctlydowntheroad。Ah，theinsensitivenessofthatfirmtread！
　　Sheclosedthegate，andcreptquicklyandnoiselesslybacktobed。
　　Whenshewasinherroom，andthedoorclosed，andallsafe，shebreathedfreely，andagreatweightfelloffher。Shenestleddowninbed，inthegroovehisbodyhadmade，inthewarmthhehadleft。Andexcited，worn—out，yetstillsatisfied，shefellsoonintoadeep，heavysleep。
　　Geraldwalkedquicklythroughtherawdarknessofthecomingdawn。Hemetnobody。Hismindwasbeautifullystillandthoughtless，likeastillpool，andhisbodyfullandwarmandrich。HewentquicklyalongtowardsShortlands，inagratefulself—sufficiency。
　　WomenInLove:Chapter25CHAPTERXXVMarriageorNotTHEBRANGWENfamilywasgoingtomovefromBeldover。Itwasnecessarynowforthefathertobeintown。
　　Birkinhadtakenoutamarriagelicence，yetUrsuladeferredfromdaytoday。Shewouldnotfixanydefinitetime——shestillwavered。Hermonth'snoticetoleavetheGrammarSchoolwasinitsthirdweek。Christmaswasnotfaroff。
　　GeraldwaitedfortheUrsula—Birkinmarriage。Itwassomethingcrucialtohim。
　　`Shallwemakeitadouble—barrelledaffair？'hesaidtoBirkinoneday。
　　`Whoforthesecondshot？'askedBirkin。
　　`Gudrunandme，'saidGerald，theventuresometwinkleinhiseyes。
　　Birkinlookedathimsteadily，asifsomewhattakenaback。
　　`Serious——orjoking？'heasked。
　　`Oh，serious。ShallI？ShallGudrunandIrushinalongwithyou？'
　　`Dobyallmeans，'saidBirkin。`Ididn'tknowyou'dgotthatlength。'
　　`Whatlength？'saidGerald，lookingattheotherman，andlaughing。
　　`Ohyes，we'vegoneallthelengths。'
　　`Thereremainstoputitonabroadsocialbasis，andtoachieveahighmoralpurpose，'saidBirkin。
　　`Somethinglikethat:thelengthandbreadthandheightofit，'repliedGerald，smiling。
　　`Ohwell，'saidBirkin，'it'saveryadmirablesteptotake，Ishouldsay。'
　　Geraldlookedathimclosely。
　　`Whyaren'tyouenthusiastic？'heasked。`Ithoughtyouweresuchdeadnutsonmarriage。'
　　Birkinliftedhisshoulders。
　　`Onemightaswellbedeadnutsonnoses。Thereareallsortsofnoses，snubandotherwise——'
　　Geraldlaughed。
　　`Andallsortsofmarriage，alsosnubandotherwise？'hesaid。
　　`That'sit。'
　　`AndyouthinkifImarry，itwillbesnub？'askedGeraldquizzically，hisheadalittleononeside。
　　Birkinlaughedquickly。
　　`HowdoIknowwhatitwillbe！'hesaid。`Don'tlambastemewithmyownparallels——'
　　Geraldponderedawhile。
　　`ButIshouldliketoknowyouropinion，exactly，'hesaid。
　　`Onyourmarriage？——ormarrying？Whyshouldyouwantmyopinion？I'vegotnoopinions。I'mnotinterestedinlegalmarriage，onewayoranother。
　　It'samerequestionofconvenience。'
　　StillGeraldwatchedhimclosely。
　　`Morethanthat，Ithink，'hesaidseriously。`Howeveryoumaybeboredbytheethicsofmarriage，yetreallytomarry，inone'sownpersonalcase，issomethingcritical，final——'
　　`Youmeanthereissomethingfinalingoingtotheregistrarwithawoman？'
　　`Ifyou'recomingbackwithher，Ido，'saidGerald。`Itisinsomewayirrevocable。'
　　`Yes，Iagree，'saidBirkin。
　　`Nomatterhowoneregardslegalmarriage，yettoenterintothemarriedstate，inone'sownpersonalinstance，isfinal——'
　　`Ibelieveitis，'saidBirkin，`somewhere。'
　　`Thequestionremainsthen，shouldonedoit，'saidGerald。
　　Birkinwatchedhimnarrowly，withamusedeyes。
　　`YouarelikeLordBacon，Gerald，'hesaid。`Youargueitlikealawyer——orlikeHamlet'sto—be—or—not—to—be。IfIwereyouIwouldnotmarry:butaskGudrun，notme。You'renotmarryingme，areyou？'
　　Geralddidnotheedthelatterpartofthisspeech。
　　`Yes，'hesaid，`onemustconsideritcoldly。Itissomethingcritical。
　　Onecomestothepointwhereonemusttakeastepinonedirectionoranother。
　　Andmarriageisonedirection——'
　　`Andwhatistheother？'askedBirkinquickly。
　　Geraldlookedupathimwithhot，strangely—consciouseyes，thattheothermancouldnotunderstand。
　　`Ican'tsay，'hereplied。`IfIknewthat——'Hemoveduneasilyonhisfeet，anddidnotfinish。
　　`Youmeanifyouknewthealternative？'askedBirkin。`Andsinceyoudon'tknowit，marriageisapisaller。'
　　GeraldlookedupatBirkinwiththesamehot，constrainedeyes。
　　`Onedoeshavethefeelingthatmarriageisapisaller，'headmitted。
　　`Thendon'tdoit，'saidBirkin。`Itellyou，'hewenton，`thesameasI'vesaidbefore，marriageintheoldsenseseemstomerepulsive。Egoismeadeuxisnothingtoit。It'sasortoftacithuntingincouples:theworldallincouples，eachcoupleinitsownlittlehouse，watchingitsownlittleinterests，andstewinginitsownlittleprivacy——it'sthemostrepulsivethingonearth。'
　　`Iquiteagree，'saidGerald。`There'ssomethinginferioraboutit。
　　ButasIsay，what'sthealternative。'
　　`Oneshouldavoidthishomeinstinct。It'snotaninstinct，it'sahabitofcowardliness。Oneshouldneverhaveahome。'
　　`Iagreereally，'saidGerald。`Butthere'snoalternative。'
　　`We'vegottofindone。Idobelieveinapermanentunionbetweenamanandawoman。Choppingaboutismerelyanexhaustiveprocess。Butapermanentrelationbetweenamanandawomanisn'tthelastword——itcertainlyisn't。'
　　`Quite，'saidGerald。
　　`Infact，'saidBirkin，`becausetherelationbetweenmanandwomanismadethesupremeandexclusiverelationship，that'swhereallthetightnessandmeannessandinsufficiencycomesin。'
　　`Yes，Ibelieveyou，'saidGerald。
　　`You'vegottotakedownthelove—and—marriageidealfromitspedestal。
　　Wewantsomethingbroader。Ibelieveintheadditionalperfectrelationshipbetweenmanandman——additionaltomarriage。'
　　`Icanneverseehowtheycanbethesame，'saidGerald。
　　`Notthesame——butequallyimportant，equallycreative，equallysacred，ifyoulike。'
　　`Iknow，'saidGerald，`youbelievesomethinglikethat。OnlyIcan'tfeelit，yousee。'HeputhishandonBirkin'sarm，withasortofdeprecatingaffection。Andhesmiledasiftriumphantly。
　　Hewasreadytobedoomed。Marriagewaslikeadoomtohim。Hewaswillingtocondemnhimselfinmarriage，tobecomelikeaconvictcondemnedtotheminesoftheunderworld，livingnolifeinthesun，buthavingadreadfulsubterraneanactivity。Hewaswillingtoacceptthis。Andmarriagewasthesealofhiscondemnation。Hewaswillingtobesealedthusintheunderworld，likeasouldamnedbutlivingforeverindamnation。Buthewouldnotmakeanypurerelationshipwithanyothersoul。Hecouldnot。MarriagewasnotthecommittingofhimselfintoarelationshipwithGudrun。Itwasacommittingofhimselfinacceptanceoftheestablishedworld，hewouldaccepttheestablishedorder，inwhichhedidnotlivinglybelieve，andthenhewouldretreattotheunderworldforhislife。Thishewoulddo。
　　TheotherwaywastoacceptRupert'sofferofalliance，toenterintothebondofpuretrustandlovewiththeotherman，andthensubsequentlywiththewoman。Ifhepledgedhimselfwiththemanhewouldlaterbeabletopledgehimselfwiththewoman:notmerelyinlegalmarriage，butinabsolute，mysticmarriage。
　　Yethecouldnotaccepttheoffer。Therewasanumbnessuponhim，anumbnesseitherofunborn，absentvolition，orofatrophy。Perhapsitwastheabsenceofvolition。ForhewasstrangelyelatedatRupert'soffer。
　　Yethewasstillmoregladtorejectit，nottobecommitted。
　　WomenInLove:Chapter26CHAPTERXXVIAChairTHEREWASajumblemarketeveryMondayafternoonintheoldmarket—placeintown。UrsulaandBirkinstrayeddownthereoneafternoon。Theyhadbeentalkingoffurniture，andtheywantedtoseeiftherewasanyfragmenttheywouldliketobuy，amidtheheapsofrubbishcollectedonthecobble—stones。
　　Theoldmarket—squarewasnotverylarge，amerebarepatchofgranitesetts，usuallywithafewfruit—stallsunderawall。Itwasinapoorquarterofthetown。Meagrehousesstooddownoneside，therewasahosieryfactory，agreatblankwithmyriadoblongwindows，attheend，astreetoflittleshopswithflagstonepavementdowntheotherside，and，foracrowningmonument，thepublicbaths，ofnewredbrick，withaclock—tower。Thepeoplewhomovedaboutseemedstumpyandsordid，theairseemedtosmellratherdirty，therewasasenseofmanymeanstreetsramifyingoffintowarrensofmeanness。Nowandagainagreatchocolate—and—yellowtramcargroundroundadifficultbendunderthehosieryfactory。
　　Ursulawassuperficiallythrilledwhenshefoundherselfoutamongthecommonpeople，inthejumbledplacepiledwitholdbedding，heapsofoldiron，shabbycrockeryinpalelots，muffledlotsofunthinkableclothing。
　　SheandBirkinwentunwillinglydownthenarrowaislebetweentherustywares。Hewaslookingatthegoods，sheatthepeople。
　　Sheexcitedlywatchedayoungwoman，whowasgoingtohaveababy，andwhowasturningoveramattressandmakingayoungman，down—at—heelanddejected，feelitalso。Sosecretiveandactiveandanxioustheyoungwomanseemed，soreluctant，slinking，theyoungman。Hewasgoingtomarryherbecauseshewashavingachild。
　　Whentheyhadfeltthemattress，theyoungwomanaskedtheoldmanseatedonastoolamonghiswares，howmuchitwas。Hetoldher，andsheturnedtotheyoungman。Thelatterwasashamed，andselfconscious。Heturnedhisfaceaway，thoughhelefthisbodystandingthere，andmutteredaside。
　　Andagainthewomananxiouslyandactivelyfingeredthemattressandaddedupinhermindandbargainedwiththeold，uncleanman。Allthewhile，theyoungmanstoodby，shamefacedanddown—at—heel，submitting。
　　`Look，'saidBirkin，`thereisaprettychair。'
　　`Charming！'criedUrsula。`Oh，charming。'
　　Itwasanarm—chairofsimplewood，probablybirch，butofsuchfinedelicacyofgrace，standingthereonthesordidstones，italmostbroughttearstotheeyes。Itwassquareinshape，ofthepurest，slenderlines，andfourshortlinesofwoodintheback，thatremindedUrsulaofharpstrings。
　　`Itwasonce，'saidBirkin，`gilded——andithadacaneseat。Somebodyhasnailedthiswoodenseatin。Look，hereisatrifleoftheredthatunderlaythegilt。Therestisallblack，exceptwherethewoodiswornpureandglossy。Itisthefineunityofthelinesthatissoattractive。
　　Look，howtheyrunandmeetandcounteract。Butofcoursethewoodenseatiswrong——itdestroystheperfectlightnessandunityintensionthecanegave。Ilikeitthough——'
　　`Ahyes，'saidUrsula，`sodoI。'
　　`Howmuchisit？'Birkinaskedtheman。
　　`Tenshillings。'
　　`Andyouwillsendit——？'
　　Itwasbought。
　　`Sobeautiful，sopure！'Birkinsaid。`Italmostbreaksmyheart。'Theywalkedalongbetweentheheapsofrubbish。`Mybelovedcountry——ithadsomethingtoexpressevenwhenitmadethatchair。'