Timeisthenurseandbreederofallgood。
Hereifthoustay,thoucanstnotseethylove;
Besides,thystayingwillabridgethylife。
Hopeisalover'sstaff;walkhencewiththatAndmanageitagainstdespairingthoughts。
Thylettersmaybehere,thoughthouarthence;
Which,beingwrittome,shallbedeliver'dEveninthemilk—whitebosomofthylove。
Thetimenowservesnottoexpostulate:
Come,I'llconveytheethroughthecity—gate;
And,ereIpartwiththee,conferatlargeOfallthatmayconcernthylove—affairs。
AsthoulovestSilvia,thoughnotforthyself,Regardthydanger,andalongwithme!VALENTINEIpraythee,Launce,anifthouseestmyboy,BidhimmakehasteandmeetmeattheNorth—gate。PROTEUSGo,sirrah,findhimout。Come,Valentine。VALENTINEOmydearSilvia!HaplessValentine!
ExeuntVALENTINEandPROTEUSLAUNCEIambutafool,lookyou;andyetI
havethewittothinkmymasterisakindofaknave:butthat'sallone,ifhebebutoneknave。Helivesnotnowthatknowsmetobeinlove;yetIaminlove;
butateamofhorseshallnotpluckthatfromme;norwho'tisIlove;andyet'tisawoman;butwhatwoman,I
willnottellmyself;andyet'tisamilkmaid;
yet'tisnotamaid,forshehathhadgossips;yet'tisamaid,forsheishermaster'smaid,andservesforwages。Shehathmorequalitiesthanawater—spaniel;
whichismuchinabareChristian。
PullingoutapaperHereisthecate—logofhercondition。
'Imprimis:Shecanfetchandcarry。'Why,ahorsecandonomore:nay,ahorsecannotfetch,butonlycarry;thereforeisshebetterthanajade。'Item:
Shecanmilk;'lookyou,asweetvirtueinamaidwithcleanhands。
EnterSPEEDSPEEDHownow,SigniorLaunce!whatnewswithyourmastership?LAUNCEWithmymaster'sship?why,itisatsea。SPEEDWell,youroldvicestill;mistaketheword。Whatnews,then,inyourpaper?LAUNCETheblackestnewsthateverthouheardest。SPEEDWhy,man,howblack?LAUNCEWhy,asblackasink。SPEEDLetmereadthem。LAUNCEFieonthee,jolt—head!thoucanstnotread。SPEEDThouliest;Ican。LAUNCEIwilltrythee。Tellmethis:whobegotthee?SPEEDMarry,thesonofmygrandfather。LAUNCEOilliterateloiterer!itwasthesonofthygrandmother:thisprovesthatthoucanstnotread。SPEEDCome,fool,come;trymeinthypaper。LAUNCEThere;andSt。Nicholasbethyspeed!SPEED[Reads]'Imprimis:Shecanmilk。'LAUNCEAy,thatshecan。SPEED'Item:Shebrewsgoodale。'LAUNCEAndthereofcomestheproverb:'Blessingofyourheart,youbrewgoodale。'SPEED'Item:Shecansew。'LAUNCEThat'sasmuchastosay,Cansheso?SPEED'Item:Shecanknit。'LAUNCEWhatneedamancareforastockwithawench,whenshecanknithimastock?SPEED'Item:Shecanwashandscour。'LAUNCEAspecialvirtue:forthensheneednotbewashedandscoured。SPEED'Item:Shecanspin。'LAUNCEThe(丁香书院小说)nmayIsettheworldonwheels,whenshecanspinforherliving。SPEED'Item:Shehathmanynamelessvirtues。'LAUNCEThat'sasmuchastosay,bastardvirtues;
that,indeed,knownottheirfathersandthereforehavenonames。SPEED'Herefollowhervices。'LAUNCECloseattheheelsofhervirtues。SPEED'Item:Sheisnottobekissedfastinginrespectofherbreath。'LAUNCEWell,thatfaultmaybemendedwithabreakfast。Readon。SPEED'Item:Shehathasweetmouth。'LAUNCEThatmakesamendsforhersourbreath。SPEED'Item:Shedothtalkinhersleep。'LAUNCEIt'snomatterforthat,soshesleepnotinhertalk。SPEED'Item:Sheisslowinwords。'LAUNCEOvillain,thatsetthisdownamonghervices!Tobeslowinwordsisawoman'sonlyvirtue:I
praythee,outwith't,andplaceitforherchiefvirtue。SPEED'Item:Sheisproud。'LAUNCEOutwiththattoo;itwasEve'slegacy,andcannotbeta'enfromher。SPEED'Item:Shehathnoteeth。'LAUNCEIcarenotforthatneither,becauseIlovecrusts。SPEED'Item:Sheiscurst。'LAUNCEWell,thebestis,shehathnoteethtobite。SPEED'Item:Shewilloftenpraiseherliquor。'LAUNCEIfherliquorbegood,sheshall:ifshewillnot,I
will;forgoodthingsshouldbepraised。SPEED'Item:Sheistooliberal。'LAUNCEOfhertongueshecannot,forthat'swritdownsheisslowof;ofherpursesheshallnot,forthatI'llkeepshut:now,ofanotherthingshemay,andthatcannotIhelp。Well,proceed。SPEED'Item:Shehathmorehairthanwit,andmorefaultsthanhairs,andmorewealththanfaults。'LAUNCEStopthere;I'llhaveher:shewasmine,andnotmine,twiceorthriceinthatlastarticle。
Rehearsethatoncemore。SPEED'Item:Shehathmorehairthanwit,'——LAUNCEMorehairthanwit?Itmaybe;I'llproveit。Thecoverofthesalthidesthesalt,andthereforeitismorethanthesalt;thehairthatcoversthewitismorethanthewit,forthegreaterhidestheless。What'snext?SPEED'Andmorefaultsthanhairs,'——LAUNCEThat'smonstrous:O,thatthatwereout!SPEED'Andmorewealththanfaults。'LAUNCEWhy,thatwordmakesthefaultsgracious。
Well,I'llhaveher;andifitbeamatch,asnothingisimpossible,——SPEEDWhatthen?LAUNCEWhy,thenwillItellthee——thatthymasterstaysfortheeattheNorth—gate。SPEEDForme?LAUNCEForthee!ay,whoartthou?hehathstayedforabettermanthanthee。SPEEDAndmustIgotohim?LAUNCEThoumustruntohim,forthouhaststayedsolongthatgoingwillscarceservetheturn。SPEEDWhydidstnottellmesooner?poxofyourloveletters!
ExitLAUNCENowwillhebeswingedforreadingmyletter;anunmannerlyslave,thatwillthrusthimselfintosecrets!I'llafter,torejoiceintheboy'scorrection。
ExitSCENEII。Thesame。TheDUKE'spalace。EnterDUKEandTHURIODUKESirThurio,fearnotbutthatshewillloveyou,NowValentineisbanish'dfromhersight。THURIOSincehisexileshehathdespisedmemost,Forswornmycompanyandrail'datme,ThatIamdesperateofobtainingher。DUKEThisweakimpressofloveisasafigureTrenchedinice,whichwithanhour'sheatDissolvestowateranddothlosehisform。
AlittletimewillmeltherfrozenthoughtsAndworthlessValentineshallbeforgot。
EnterPROTEUS
Hownow,SirProteus!IsyourcountrymanAccordingtoourproclamationgone?PROTEUSGone,mygoodlord。DUKEMydaughtertakeshisgoinggrievously。PROTEUSAlittletime,mylord,willkillthatgrief。DUKESoIbelieve;butThuriothinksnotso。
Proteus,thegoodconceitIholdofthee——
Forthouhastshownsomesignofgooddesert——
Makesmethebettertoconferwiththee。PROTEUSLongerthanIproveloyaltoyourgraceLetmenotlivetolookuponyourgrace。DUKEThouknow'sthowwillinglyIwouldeffectThematchbetweenSirThurioandmydaughter。PROTEUSIdo,mylord。DUKEAndalso,Ithink,thouartnotignorantHowsheopposesheragainstmywillPROTEUSShedid,mylord,whenValentinewashere。DUKEAy,andperverselysheperseversso。
WhatmightwedotomakethegirlforgetTheloveofValentineandloveSirThurio?PROTEUSThebestwayistoslanderValentineWithfalsehood,cowardiceandpoordescent,Threethingsthatwomenhighlyholdinhate。DUKEAy,butshe'llthinkthatitisspokeinhate。PROTEUSAy,ifhisenemydeliverit:
ThereforeitmustwithcircumstancebespokenByonewhomsheesteemethashisfriend。DUKEThenyoumustundertaketoslanderhim。PROTEUSAndthat,mylord,Ishallbeloathtodo:
'Tisanillofficeforagentleman,Especiallyagainsthisveryfriend。DUKEWhereyourgoodwordcannotadvantagehim,Yourslandernevercanendamagehim;
Thereforetheofficeisindifferent,Beingentreatedtoitbyyourfriend。PROTEUSYouhaveprevail'd,mylord;ifIcandoitByoughtthatIcanspeakinhisdispraise,Sheshallnotlongcontinuelovetohim。