"byMichaelAngeloTitmarch。"
　　I。OntheDisintermentofNapoleonatSt。HelenaII。OntheVoyagefromSt。HelenatoParisIII。OntheFuneralCeremony
　　I。
　　ONTHEDISINTERMENTOFNAPOLEONATST。HELENA。
　　MYDEAR————，——Itisnoeasytaskinthisworldtodistinguishbetweenwhatisgreatinit，andwhatismean;andmanyandmanyisthepuzzlethatIhavehadinreadingHistory（ortheworksoffictionwhichgobythatname），toknowwhetherIshouldlauduptotheskies，andendeavor，tothebestofmysmallcapabilities，toimitatetheremarkablecharacteraboutwhomIwasreading，orwhetherIshouldflingasidethebookandtheheroofit，asthingsaltogetherbase，unworthy，laughable，andgetanovel，oragameofbilliards，orapipeoftobacco，orthereportofthelastdebateintheHouse，oranyotheremploymentwhichwouldleavethemindinastateofeasyvacuity，ratherthanpesteritwithavainsetofdatesrelatingtoactionswhichareinthemselvesnotworthafig，orwithaparcelofnamesofpeoplewhomitcandoonenoearthlygoodtoremember。
　　Itismorethanprobable，mylove，thatyouareacquaintedwithwhatiscalledGrecianandRomanhistory，chieflyfromperusing，inveryearlyyouth，thelittlesheepskin—boundvolumesoftheingeniousDr。
　　Goldsmith，andhavebeenindebtedforyourknowledgeoftheEnglishannalstoasubsequentstudyofthemorevoluminousworksofHumeandSmollett。Thefirstandthelast—namedauthors，dearMissSmith，havewritteneachanadmirablehistory，——thatoftheReverendDr。Primrose，VicarofWakefield，andthatofMr。RobertBramble，ofBrambleHall——inbothofwhichworksyouwillfindtrueandinstructivepicturesofhumanlife，andwhichyoumayalwaysthinkoverwithadvantage。Butletmecautionyouagainstputtinganyconsiderabletrustintheotherworksoftheseauthors，whichwereplacedinyourhandsatschoolandafterwards，andinwhichyouweretaughttobelieve。Modernhistorians，forthemostpart，knowverylittle，and，secondly，onlytellalittleofwhattheyknow。
　　AsforthoseGreeksandRomanswhomyouhavereadofin"sheepskin，"
　　wereyoutoknowreallywhatthosemonsterswere，youwouldblushalloverasredasahollyhock，andputdownthehistory—bookinafury。ManyofourEnglishworthiesarenobetter。Youarenotinasituationtoknowtherealcharactersofanyoneofthem。Theyappearbeforeyouintheirpubliccapacities，buttheindividualsyouknownot。Suppose，forinstance，yourmammahadpurchasedherteaintheBoroughfromagrocerlivingtherebythenameofGreenacre:supposeyouhadbeenaskedouttodinner，andthegentlemanofthehousehadsaid:"Ho！Francois！aglassofchampagneforMissSmith;"——Courvoisierwouldhaveservedyoujustasanyotherfootmanwould;youwouldneverhaveknownthattherewasanythingextraordinaryintheseindividuals，butwouldhavethoughtofthemonlyintheirrespectivepubliccharactersofGrocerandFootman。This，Madam，isHistory，inwhichamanalwaysappearsdealingwiththeworldinhisapron，orhislacedlivery，butwhichhasnotthepowerortheleisure，or，perhaps，istoohighandmightytocondescendtofollowandstudyhiminhisprivacy。Ah，mydear，whenbigandlittlemencometobemeasuredrightly，andgreatandsmallactionstobeweighedproperly，andpeopletobestrippedoftheirroyalrobes，beggars'rags，generals'uniforms，seedyout—
　　at—elbowedcoats，andthelike——orthecontrarysay，whensoulscometobestrippedoftheirwickeddeceivingbodies，andturnedoutstarknakedastheywerebeforetheywereborn——whatastrangestartlingsightshallwesee，andwhataprettyfigureshallsomeofuscut！FancyhowweshallseePride，withhisStultzclothesandpaddingpulledoff，anddwindleddowntoaforkedradish！FancysomeAngelicVirtue，whosewhiteraimentissuddenlywhiskedoverhishead，showingusclovenfeetandatail！FancyHumility，easedofitssadloadofcaresandwantandscorn，walkinguptotheveryhighestplaceofall，andblushingashetakesit！Fancy，——butwemustnotfancysuchasceneatall，whichwouldbeanoutrageonpublicdecency。Shouldwebeanybetterthanourneighbors？No，certainly。Andaswecan'tbevirtuous，letusbedecent。
　　Figleavesareaverydecent，becomingwear，andhavebeennowinfashionforfourthousandyears。Andso，mydear，historyiswrittenonfig—leaves。Wouldyouhaveanythingfurther？Ofie！
　　Yes，fourthousandyearsagothatfamoustreewasplanted。Attheirveryfirstlie，ourfirstparentsmadeforit，andthereitisstillthegreatHumbugPlant，stretchingitswidearms，andshelteringbeneathitsleaves，asbroadandgreenasever，allthegenerationsofmen。Thus，mydear，coquettesofyourfascinatingsexcovertheirpersonswithfiggery，fantasticallyarranged，andcalltheirmasquerading，modesty。Cowardsfigthemselvesoutfiercelyas"salvagemen，"andmakeusbelievethattheyarewarriors。Foolslookverysolemnlyoutfromtheduskoftheleaves，andwefancyinthegloomthattheyaresages。Andmanyamansetsagreatwreathabouthispateandstrutsabroadahero，whoseclaimswewouldallofuslaughat，couldwebutremovetheornamentandseehisnumskullbare。
　　Andsuch——（excusemysermonizing）——suchistheconstitutionofmankind，thatmenhave，asitwere，enteredintoacompactamongthemselvestopursuethefig—leafsystemal'outrance，andtocrydownallwhoopposeit。Humbugtheywillhave。Humbugsthemselves，theywillrespecthumbugs。Theirdailyvictualsoflifemustbeseasonedwithhumbug。Certainthingsarethereintheworldthattheywillnotallowtobecalledbytheirrightnames，andwillinsistuponouradmiring，whetherwewillorno。WoebetothemanwhowouldentertoofarintotherecessesofthatmagnificenttemplewhereourGoddessisenshrined，peepthroughthevastembroideredcurtainsindiscreetly，penetratethesecretofsecrets，andexposetheGammonofGammons！Andasyoumustnotpeertoocuriouslywithin，soneithermustyouremainscornfullywithout。Humbug—
　　worshippers，letuscomeintoourgreattempleregularlyanddecently:takeourseats，andsettleourclothesdecently;openourbooks，andgothroughtheservicewithdecentgravity;listen，andbedecentlyaffectedbytheexpositionsofthedecentpriestoftheplace;andifbychancesomestragglingvagabond，loiteringinthesunshineoutofdoors，darestolaughortosing，anddisturbthesanctifieddulnessofthefaithful;——quick！acoupleofbigbeadlesrushoutandbelaborthewretch，andhisyellsmakeourdevotionsmorecomfortable。
　　SomemagnificentreligiousceremoniesofthisnatureareatpresenttakingplaceinFrance;andthinkingthatyoumightperhapswhileawaysomelongwintereveningwithanaccountofthem，Ihavecompiledthefollowingpagesforyouruse。Newspapershavebeenfilled，forsomedayspast，withdetailsregardingtheSt。Helenaexpedition，manypamphletshavebeenpublished，mengoaboutcryinglittlebooksandbroadsheetsfilledwithrealorshamparticulars;
　　andfromthesescarceandvaluabledocumentsthefollowingpagesarechieflycompiled。
　　Wemustbeginatthebeginning;premising，inthefirstplace，thatMonsieurGuizot，whenFrenchAmbassadoratLondon，waiteduponLordPalmerstonwitharequestthatthebodyoftheEmperorNapoleonshouldbegivenuptotheFrenchnation，inorderthatitmightfindafinalresting—placeinFrenchearth。TothisdemandtheEnglishGovernmentgaveareadyassent;norwasthereanyparticularexplosionofsentimentuponeitherside，onlysomeprettycordialexpressionsofmutualgood—will。OrdersweresentouttoSt。Helenathatthecorpseshouldbedisinterredinduetime，whentheFrenchexpeditionhadarrivedinsearchofit，andthateveryrespectandattentionshouldhepaidtothosewhocametocarrybacktotheircountrythebodyofthefamousdeadwarriorandsovereign。
　　Thismatterbeingarrangedinveryfewwords（asinEngland，uponmostpoints，isthelaudablefashion），theFrenchChambersbegantodebateabouttheplaceinwhichtheyshouldburythebodywhentheygotit;andnumberlesspamphletsandnewspapersoutofdoorsjoinedinthetalk。SomepeopletherewerewhohadfoughtandconqueredandbeenbeatenwiththegreatNapoleon，andlovedhimandhismemory。Manymoreweretherewho，becauseofhisgreatgeniusandvalor，feltexcessivelyproudintheirownparticularpersons，andclamoredforthereturnoftheirhero。Andifthereweresomefewindividualsinthisgreathot—headed，gallant，boasting，sublime，absurdFrenchnation，whohadtakenacoolviewofthedeadEmperor'scharacter;if，perhaps，suchmenasLouisPhilippe，andMonsieurA。Thiers，MinisterandDeputy，andMonsieurFrancoisGuizot，DeputyandExcellency，had，frominterestorconviction，opinionsatalldifferingfromthoseofthemajority;why，theyknewwhatwaswhat，andkepttheiropinionstothemselves，comingwithatolerablygoodgraceandflingingafewhandfulsofincenseuponthealtarofthepopularidol。