Itlookedasifithadbeenbuiltofdiscardedthings,scrapsandfragmentsofotherbuildings,puttogetherwithcareandpains,bysomeonewhohadtriedtomakethemostofcast-offmaterial。
Therewassomethingpitifulandshamefacedaboutthehut。
Itshrankanddroopedandfadedinitsbarrenfield,andseemedtoclingonlybysufferancetotheedgeofthesplendidcity。
"This,"saidtheKeeperoftheGate,standingstillandspeakingwithalow,distinctvoice——"thisisyourmansion,JohnWeightman。"
Analmostintolerableshockofgrievedwonderandindignationchokedthemanforamomentsothathecouldnotsayaword。
Thenheturnedhisfaceawayfromthepoorlittlehutandbegantoremonstrateeagerlywithhiscompanion。
"Surely,sir,"hestammered,"youmustbeinerroraboutthis。
Thereissomethingwrong——someotherJohnWeightman——aconfusionofnames——thebookmustbemistaken。"
"Thereisnomistake,"saidtheKeeperoftheGate,verycalmly;
"hereisyourname,therecordofyourtitleandyourpossessionsinthisplace。"
"Buthowcouldsuchahousebepreparedforme,"criedtheman,witharesentfultremorinhisvoice——"forme,aftermylongandfaithfulservice?Isthisasuitablemansionforonesowellknownanddevoted?Whyisitsopitifullysmallandmean?
Whyhaveyounotbuiltitlargeandfair,liketheothers?"
"Thatisallthematerialyousentus。"
"What!"
"Wehaveusedallthematerialthatyousentus,"repeatedtheKeeperoftheGate。
"NowIknowthatyouaremistaken,"criedtheman,withgrowingearnestness,"forallmylifelongIhavebeendoingthingsthatmusthavesuppliedyouwithmaterial。HaveyounotheardthatIhavebuiltaschool-house;thewingofahospital;two——yes,three——smallchurches,andthegreaterpartofalargeone,thespireofSt。Petro——"
TheKeeperoftheGateliftedhishand。
"Wait,"hesaid;"weknowallthesethings。Theywerenotilldone。
ButtheywereallmarkedandusedasfoundationforthenameandmansionofJohnWeightmanintheworld。Didyounotplanthemforthat?"
"Yes,"answeredtheman,confusedandtakenaback,"IconfessthatIthoughtoftenoftheminthatway。Perhapsmyheartwassetuponthattoomuch。Butthereareotherthings——myendowmentforthecollege——mysteadyandliberalcontributionstoalltheestablishedcharities——mysupportofeveryrespectable——"
"Wait,"saidtheKeeperoftheGateagain。"Werenotallthesecarefullyrecordedonearthwheretheywouldaddtoyourcredit?
Theywerenotfoolishlydone。Verily,youhavehadyourrewardforthem。
Wouldyoubepaidtwice?"
"No,"criedtheman,withdeepeningdismay,"Idarenotclaimthat。
IacknowledgethatIconsideredmyowninteresttoomuch。Butsurelynotaltogether。Youhavesaidthatthesethingswerenotfoolishlydone。
Theyaccomplishedsomegoodintheworld。Doesnotthatcountforsomething?"
"Yes,"answeredheKeeperoftheGate,"itcountsintheworld——whereyoucountedit。Butitdoesnotbelongtoyouhere。Wehavesavedandusedeverythingthatyousentus。Thisisthemansionpreparedforyou。"
Ashespoke,hislookgrewdeeperandmoresearching,likeaflameoffire。
JohnWeightmancouldnotendureit。Itseemedtostriphimnakedandwitherhim。Hesanktothegroundunderacrushingweightofshame,coveringhiseyeswithhishandsandcoweringfacedownwarduponthestones。Dimlythroughthetroubleofhismindhefelttheirhardnessandcoldness。
"Tellme,then,"hecried,brokenly,"sincemylifehasbeensolittleworth,howcameIhereatall?"
"ThroughthemercyoftheKing"——theanswerwaslikethesofttollingofabell。
"AndhowhaveIearnedit?"hemurmured。
"Itisneverearned;itisonlygiven,"cametheclear,lowreply。
"ButhowhaveIfailedsowretchedly,"heasked,"inallthepurposeofmylife?WhatcouldIhavedonebetter?Whatisitthatcountshere?"
"Onlythatwhichistrulygiven,"answeredthebell-likevoice。
Onlythatgoodwhichisdonefortheloveofdoingit。
Onlythoseplansinwhichthewelfareofothersisthemasterthought。
Onlythoselaborsinwhichthesacrificeisgreaterthanthereward。
Onlythosegiftsinwhichthegiverforgetshimself。"
Themanlaysilent。Agreatweakness,anunspeakabledespondencyandhumiliationwereuponhim。ButthefaceoftheKeeperoftheGatewasinfinitelytenderashebentoverhim。
"Thinkagain,JohnWeightman。Hastherebeennothinglikethatinyourlife?"
"Nothing,"hesighed。"Ifthereeverweresuchthings,itmusthavebeenlongago——theywereallcrowdedout——Ihaveforgottenthem。"
TherewasanineffablesmileonthefaceoftheKeeperoftheGate,andhishandmadethesignofthecrossoverthebowedheadashespokegently:
"ThesearethethingsthattheKingneverforgets;andbecausetherewereafewoftheminyourlife,youhavealittleplacehere。"
ThesenseofcoldnessandhardnessunderJohnWeightman'shandsgrewsharperandmoredistinct。Thefeelingofbodilywearinessandlassitudeweigheduponhim,buttherewasacalm,almostalightness,inhisheartashelistenedtothefadingvibrationsofthesilverybell-tones。Thechimneyclockonthemantelhadjustendedthelaststrokeofsevenasheliftedhisheadfromthetable。
Thin,palestripsofthecitymorningwerefallingintotheroomthroughthenarrowpartingsoftheheavycurtains。
Whatwasitthathadhappenedtohim?Hadhebeenill?Hadhediedandcometolifeagain?Orhadheonlyslept,andhadhissoulgonevisitingindreams?Hesatforsometime,motionless,notlost,butfindinghimselfinthought。Thenhetookanarrowbookfromthetabledrawer,wroteacheck,andtoreitout。
Hewentslowlyupthestairs,knockedverysoftlyathisson'sdoor,and,hearingnoanswer,enteredwithoutnoise。Haroldwasasleep,hisbarearmthrownabovehishead,andhiseagerfacerelaxedinpeace。
Hisfatherlookedathimamomentwithstrangelyshiningeyes,andthentiptoedquietlytothewriting-desk,foundapencilandasheetofpaper,andwroterapidly:
"Mydearboy,hereiswhatyouaskedmefor;dowhatyoulikewithit,andaskformoreifyouneedit。IfyouarestillthinkingofthatworkwithGrenfell,we'lltalkitoverto-dayafterchurch。
Iwanttoknowyourheartbetter;andifIhavemademistakes——"
Aslightnoisemadehimturnhishead。Haroldwassittingupinbedwithwide-openeyes。
"Father!"hecried,"isthatyou?"
"Yes,myson,"answeredJohnWeightman;"I'vecomeback——ImeanI'vecomeup——no,Imeancomein——well,hereIam,andGodgiveusagoodChristmastogether。"
第7章