Butisn'titamistakenottoallowustomakeourownmistakes,tolearnforourselves,toliveourownlives?Mustwebealwaysworkingfor'thebalance,'inonethingoranother?
Iwanttobemyself——togetoutsideofthiseverlasting,profitable'plan'——toletmyselfgo,andlosemyselfforawhileatleast——todothethingsthatIwanttodo,justbecauseIwanttodothem。"
"Myboy,"saidhismother,anxiously,"youarenotgoingtodoanythingwrongorfoolish?Youknowthefalsehoodofthatoldproverbaboutwildoats。"
Hethrewbackhisheadandlaughed。"Yes,mother,"heanswered,"Iknowitwellenough。ButinCalifornia,youknow,thewildoatsareoneofthemostvaluablecrops。Theygrowalloverthehillsidesandkeepthecattleandthehorsesalive。Butthatwasn'twhatI
meant——tosowwildoats。Saytopickwildflowers,ifyoulike,oreventochasewildgeese——todosomethingthatseemsgoodtomejustforitsownsake,notforthesakeofwagesofonekindoranother。Ifeellikeahiredman,intheserviceofthismagnificentmansion——sayintrainingforfather'splaceasmajordomo。I'dliketogetoutsomeway,tofeelfree——perhapstodosomethingforothers。"
Theyoungman'svoicehesitatedalittle。"Yes,itsoundlikecant,Iknow,butsometimesIfeelasifI'dliketodosomegoodintheworld,iffatheronlywouldn'tinsistuponGod'sputtingitintotheledger。"
Hismothermoveduneasily,andaslightlookofbewildermentcameintoherface。
"Isn'tthatalmostirreverent?"sheasked。"Surelytherighteousmusthavetheirreward。Andyourfatherisgood。Seehowmuchhegivestoalltheestablishedcharities,howmanythingshehasfounded。
He'salwaysthinkingofothers,andplanningforthem。Andsurely,forus,hedoeseverything。HowwellhehasplannedthistriptoEuropeformeandthegirls——thecourt-presentationatBerlin,theseasonontheRiviera,thevisitsinEnglandwiththePlumptonsandtheHalverstones。HesaysLordHalverstonehasthefinestoldhouseinSussex,pureElizabethan,andalltheoldcustomsarekeptup,too——familyprayerseverymorningforallthedomestics。
By-the-way,youknowhissonBertie,Ibelieve。"
Haroldsmiledalittletohimselfasheanswered:"Yes,IfishedatCatalinaIslandlastJunewiththeHonorableEthelbert;
he'sratheradecentchap,inspiteofhisingrowingmind。
Butyou?——mother,youaresimplymagnificent!Youarefather'smasterpiece。"Theyoungmanleanedovertokissher,andwentuptotheRidingClubforhisafternooncanterinthePark。
Soitcametopass,earlyinDecember,thatMrs。WeightmanandhertwodaughterssailedforEurope,ontheirseriouspleasuretrip,evenasithadbeenwritteninthebookofProvidence;andJohnWeightman,whohadmadetheentry,waslefttopasstherestofthewinterwithhissonandheirinthebrownstonemansion。
Theywerecomfortableenough。Themachineryofthemassiveestablishmentranassmoothlyasagreatelectricdynamo。Theywerebusyenough,too。
JohnWeightman'splansandenterpriseswerecomplicated,thoughhisprincipleofactionwasalwayssimple——togetgoodvalueforeveryexpenditureandeffort。Thebanking-houseofwhichhewasthechief,thebrain,thewill,theabsolutelycontrollinghand,wassoadmirablyorganizedthatthedetailsofitsdirectiontookbutlittletime。
Butthescoresofotherintereststhatradiatedfromitandweredependentuponit——orperhapsitwouldbemoreaccuratetosay,thatcontributedtoitssolidityandsuccess——themanyinvestments,industrial,political,benevolent,reformatory,ecclesiastical,thathadmadethenameofWeightmanwellknownandpotentincity,church,andstate,demandedmuchattentionandcarefulsteering,inorderthateachmightproducethedesiredresult。Therewereboardmeetingsofcorporationsandhospitals,conferencesinWallStreetandatAlbany,consultationsandcommitteemeetingsinthebrownstonemansion。
ForashareinallthisbusinessanditsadjunctsJohnWeightmanhadhissonintraininginoneofthefamouslawfirmsofthecity;
forheheldthatbankingitselfisasimpleaffair,theonlyrealdifficultiesoffinanceareonitslegalside。Meantimehewishedtheyoungmantomeetandknowthemenwithwhomhewouldhavetodealwhenhebecameapartnerinthehouse。SoacoupleofdinnersweregiveninthemansionduringDecember,afterwhichthefathercalledtheson'sattentiontothefactthatoverahundredmilliondollarshadsataroundtheboard。
ButonChristmasEvefatherandsonwerediningtogetherwithoutguests,andtheirtalkacrossthebroadtable,glitteringwithsilverandcutglass,andsoftlylitbyshadedcandles,wasintimate,thoughalittleslowattimes。Theeldermanwasinratherararemood,moreexpansiveandconfidentialthanusual;and,whenthecoffeewasbroughtinandtheywereleftalone,hetalkedmorefreelyofhispersonalplansandhopesthanhehadeverdonebefore。
"Ifeelverygratefulto-night,"saidhe,atlast;"itmustbesomethingintheairofChristmasthatgivesmethisfeelingofthankfulnessforthemanydivinemerciesthathavebeenbestoweduponme。AlltheprinciplesbywhichIhavetriedtoguidemylifehavebeenjustified。
Ihavenevermadethevalueofthissaltedalmondbyanythingthatthecourtswouldnotuphold,atleastinthelongrun,andyet——orwouldn'titbetruertosayandtherefore?——myaffairshavebeenwonderfullyprospered。There'sagreatdealinthattext'Honestyisthebest'——butno,that'snotfromtheBible,afterall,isit?
Waitamoment;thereissomethingofthatkind,Iknow。"
"MayIlightacigar,father,"saidHarold,turningawaytohideasmile,"whileyouarerememberingthetext?"
"Yes,certainly,"answeredtheelderman,rathershortly;"youknowIdon'tdislikethesmell。Butitisawasteful,uselesshabit,andthereforeIhaveneverpractisedit。Nothinguselessisworthwhile,that'smymotto——nothingthatdoesnotbringthereward。
Oh,nowIrecallthetext,'VerilyIsayuntoyoutheyhavetheirreward。'
IshallaskDoctorSnodgrasstopreachasermononthatversesomeday。"
"Usingyouasanillustration?"
"Well,notexactlythat;butIcouldgivehimsomegoodmaterialsfrommyownexperiencetoprovethetruthofScripture。Icanhonestlysaythatthereisnotoneofmycharitiesthathasnotbroughtmeinagoodreturn,eitherintheincreaseofinfluence,thebuildingupofcredit,ortheassociationwithsubstantialpeople。Ofcourseyouhavetobecarefulhowyougive,inordertosecurethebestresults——noindiscriminategiving——nopenniesinbeggars'hats!IthasbeenoneofmyprinciplesalwaystousethesamekindofjudgmentincharitiesthatIuseinmyotheraffairs,andtheyhavenotdisappointedme。"
"EventhecheckthatyouputintheplatewhenyoutaketheoffertoryuptheaisleonSundaymorning?"
"Certainly;thoughtheretheinfluenceislessdirect;andImustconfessthatIhavemydoubtsinregardtothecollectionforForeignMissions。
第2章