Iknowthatyouaresincereinthinkingso。AndtheringingwelkinisallweshouldhaveheardinMichigan。Butthemoretrulyamanlovesagirl,thelesscanhebeartakingherfromaneasytoahardlife。Iamsurethatallthemenhereagreewithme。"
Therewasamurmurandanodfromthemen,andalsofromMrs。Davenport。
ButtheotherladiesgavenosignofassentingtoRichard'sproposition。
"Inthosedays,"saidhe,"Iwaswhatinthecurtparlanceofthestreetistermedasix-hundred-dollarclerk。Andthoughmyearshadgrownaccustomedtothisappellation,Inevercametofeelthatitcompletelydescribedme。InpassingTiffany'swindowtwiceeachday(formyhabitwastowalktoandfromNassauStreet)Irememberthatseeingathousand-dollarclockexposedforsalecausedmeannoyance。Ofcoursemysalaryasaclerkbroughtmeintonounfavourablecomparisonwiththeclock;andIdoubtifIcouldmakeyouunderstandmysometimesfeelingwhenIpassedTiffany'swindowthatIshouldliketosmashtheclock。"
"ImetEthelfrequentlyinsociety,dancingwithher,andsittingnextheratdinners。AndbythetimeIhaddinedatherownhouse,andwalkedseveralafternoonswithher,mylotasasix-hundred-dollarclerkbegantoseemverysadtome。Iwroteversesaboutit,andaboutothersubjectsalso。FromaneveningpassedwithEthel,Iwouldgonextmorningtotheofficeandlookattheotherclerks。Oneofthemwasfifty-five,andhestillreceivedsixhundreddollarshiswagesforthelastthirtyyears。I
wasthentwenty-one;andthoughIneverdespairedtotheextentofbelievingthatyearswouldfailtoincreasemyvaluetothefirmbyasinglecent,still,forwhatcouldIhope?Ifmysalarywerethereandthentobedoubled,whatkindofsupportwastwelvehundreddollarstoofferEthel,withherdresses,andherdinners,andherfather'scarriage?FortwoyearsIwaswretchedlyunhappybeneaththemanyhoursofgaietythatcametome,astoeveryyoungman。"
"ThosetwoyearswecouldhavebeeninMichigan,"saidEthel,"hadyouunderstood。"
"Iknow。Butunderstanding,IbelievethatIshoulddothesameagain。Attheoffice,whennotbusy,Iwrotemorepoetry,andbeganalsotowriteprose,whichIfoundattheoutsetlesseasy。Whenmyfirstwritingswereaccepted(theywerefoursetsofversesupontheSummerResort)IfeltthatIcouldsoonaddressEthel;forIhadmadetendollarsoutsidemysalary。HadshenotbeeninEuropethatJuly,IbelievethatIshouldhavespokentoheratonce。ButIsentherthepaper;andIhavetheletterthatshewroteinreply。"
"I"beganEthel。Butshestopped。
"Yes,Iknownowthatyoukepttheverses,"saidRichard。"Mynextmanuscript,however,wasrejected。Indeed,IwentonofferingmyliteraryproductionsnearlyeveryweekuntilthefollowingJanuarybeforeasecondacceptancecame。Itwastwentyfivedollarsthistime,andalmostmademefeelagainthatIcouldhandsomelysupportEthel。Butnotquite。Afterthefirstcharmingelationatearningmoneywithmypen,thoseweeksofrefusalhadcausedmetothinkmoresoberly。AndthoughIwasnowbentuponbecominganauthorandleavingNassauStreet,Iburnednobridgesbehindme,butmerelyfilledmysparehourswithwritingandwithshowingittoEthel。"
"Itwasnowthatthesecondareaofperturbationofmylifecametome。I
saythesecond,becausethefirsthadbeentherecentdawningbeliefthatEthelthoughtaboutmewhenIwasnottheretoremindherofmyself。Thisideahadstirredbutyouwillunderstand。Andnow,whatwasmyproper,myhonourablecourse?ItwasapositivereliefthatatthiscrisisshewenttoFlorida。Icouldthinkmorequietly。Mywritinghadcometobequiteoftenaccepted,sometimesevensolicited。ShouldIspeaktoher,andaskhertowaituntilIcouldputadecentroofoverherhead,orshouldIkeepawayfromheruntilIcouldoffersucharoof?Herfather,Isupposed,coulddosomethingforus。ButIwasnotwillingtobeapensioner。Hisbusinesswerehegenerouswouldbetoprovidecakeandbutter;butthebreadwastobemineandbreadwasstillalongwayoff,accordingtoNewYorkstandards。ThesethingsIthoughtoverwhileshewasinFlorida;yetwhenonceIshouldIfindmyselfwithheragain,I
begantofearthatIcouldnotholdmyselffrombutthesearecircumstanceswhichuniversalknowledgerendersitneedlesstomention,andIwillpasstothesecondperturbation。"
"Asumofmoneywassuddenlyleftme。ThenforthefirsttimeIunderstoodwhyIhadduringmyboyhoodbeensoperiodicallysenttoseeacrossoldbrotherofmymother's,wholivednearColdSpringontheHudson,andwhomwecalledUncleSnaggletoothwhennoonecouldhearus。UncleGodfrey(forIhavecalledhimbyhisrightnameeversince)diedandleftmewhatinthoseolddayssixyearsagowasstillalargeamount。To-dayweunderstandwhattruerichesmean。Butinthosebygonetimessixyearsago,amilliondollarswasasumconsiderableenoughtobestillseen,asitwere,withthenakedeye。ThatwasmybequestfromUncleGodfrey,andIfeltmyselftobethepossessorofafortune。"
AtthispointinRichard'snarrative,asighescapedfromEthel。
"Iknow,"heimmediatelysaid,"thatmoneyisalwayswelcome。Butitiscertainlysomeconsolationtoreflecthowslightalossamilliondollarsiscountedto-dayinNewYork。AndIdidnotloseallofit。"
"ImetEthelatthetrainonherreturnfromFlorida,andcrossedwithherontheferryfromJerseyCitytoDesbrossesStreet。ThereIwasobligedtoseeherdriveawayinthecarriagewithherfather。"
"Mr。Field,"saidMrs。Davenport,"whathourdidthattrainarriveatJerseyCity?"
Richardlookedsurprised。"Why,seven-fifteenP。M。,"hereplied。"ThetenthofMarch。"
"Dark!"Mrs。Davenportexclaimed。"Mr。Field,youandEthelwereengagedbeforetheferryboatlandedatDesbrossesStreet。"
RichardandEthelbothsatstraightup,butremainedspeechless。
"Pardonmyinterruption,"saidMrs。Davenport,smiling。"Ididn'twanttomissasinglepointinthisstorydogoon!"
Richardwasobligedtoburstoutlaughing,inwhichEthel,afteramoment,followedhim,thoughperhapslessheartily。Andashecontinued,hisblushsubsided。
"WithmyUncleGodfrey'slegacyIwasnolongerdependentuponmysalary,ormypen,ormyfather'spurse;andIdecidedthatwiththemoneyproperlyinvested,Icouldmaintainamodestestablishmentofmyown。
Ethelagreedwithmeentirely;and,afteralittle,wedisclosedourplanstoourfamilies,andtheymetwithapproval。ThiswasinApril,andwethoughtofOctoberorNovemberforthewedding。Itseemedlongtowait;butitcamenearbeingsomuchlonger,thatIgrowchillynowtothinkofit。"
"Ofcourse,IwentsteadilyonwithmyworkattheofficeinNassauStreet,nordidIneglectmywritingentirely。Myattention,however,wasnowturnedtothequestionofinvestingmyfortune。JustroundthecornerfromourofficewasthefirmofBlakeandBeverly,StocksandBonds。
Thithermystepsbeganfrequentlytoturn。Mr。Beverlyhadbusinesswhichbroughthimeveryweektotheroomofourpresident;andsohavingasortofacquaintancewithhim,Ifeltiteasiertoconsulthimthantoseekanyotheramongthebrokers,towhichclassIwasawellnightotalstranger。Heverykindlyconsentedtobemyadviser。IwaswellpleasedtofindhowmuchIhadunderratedtheinterest-bearingcapacityofmywindfall。'Fourpercent!'hecried,whenItoldhimthiswastheextentofmyexpectations。'Why,you'retalkinglikeatrustee。'Andthenseeingthathismeaningwasbeyondme,heexplainedinhisbluff,humorousmanner。'Allatrusteecaresforyouknow,ishisreputationforsafety。
第3章