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第5章

  XLII。
  Forachancetomakeyourlittlemuch,Togainaloverandloseafriend,Venturethetreeandamyriadsuch,Whennothingyoumarbuttheyearcanmend:
  Butalastleaf——feartotouch!
  XLIII。
  YetshoulditunfastenitselfandfallEddyingdowntillitfindyourfaceAtsomeslightwind——bestchanceofall!
  Beyourhearthenceforthitsdwelling-placeYoutrembledtoforestall!
  XLIV。
  Worthhowwell,thosedarkgreyeyes,Thathairsodarkanddear,howworthThatamanshouldstriveandagonize,AndtasteaveriesthellonearthForthehopeofsuchaprize!
  XIIV。
  Youmighthaveturnedandtriedaman,Sethimaspacetowearyandwear,Andprovewhichsuitedmoreyourplan,Hisbestofhopeorhisworstdespair,Yetendashebegan。
  XLVI。
  Butyousparedmethis,liketheheartyouare,Andfilledmyemptyheartataword。
  Iftwolivesjoin,thereisoftascar,Theyareoneandone,withashadowythird;
  Onenearoneistoofar。
  XLVII。
  Amomentafter,andhandsunseenWerehangingthenightaroundusfastButweknewthatabarwasbrokenbetweenLifeandlife:weweremixedatlastInspiteofthemortalscreen。
  XLVIII。
  Theforestshaddoneit;theretheystood;
  Wecaughtforamomentthepowersatplay:
  Theyhadmingledusso,foronceandgood,Theirworkwasdone——wemightgoorstay,Theyrelapsedtotheirancientmood。
  XLIX。
  Howtheworldismadeforeachofus!
  HowallweperceiveandknowinitTendstosomemoment'sproductthus,Whenasouldeclaresitself——towit,Byitsfruit,thethingitdoesL。
  Behatethatfruitorlovethatfruit,Itforwardsthegeneraldeedofman,AndeachoftheManyhelpstorecruitThelifeoftheracebyageneralplan;
  Eachlivinghisown,toboot。
  LI。
  Iamnamedandknownbythatmoment'sfeat;
  Theretookmystationanddegree;
  Sogrewmyownsmalllifecomplete,Asnatureobtainedherbestofme——
  Oneborntoloveyou,sweet!
  LII。
  Andtowatchyousinkbythefire-sidenowBackagain,asyoumutelysitMusingbyfire-light,thatgreatbrowAndthespirit-smallhandproppingit,Yonder,myheartknowshow!
  LIII。
  So,earthhasgainedbyonemanthemore,Andthegainofearthmustbeheaven'sgaintoo;
  Andthewholeiswellworththinkingo'erWhenautumncomes:whichImeantodoOneday,asIsaidbefore。
  ANYWIFETOANYHUSBAND。
  I。
  Mylove,thisisthebitterest,thatthou——
  Whoartalltruth,andwhodostlovemenowAsthineeyessay,asthyvoicebreakstosay——
  Shouldstlovesotruly,andcouldstlovemestillAwholelonglifethrough,hadbutloveitswill,Woulddeaththatleadsmefromtheebrookdelay。
  II。
  Ihavebuttobebythee,andthyhandWillneverletminego,norheartwithstandThebeatingofmyhearttoreachitsplace。
  WhenshallIlookfortheeandfeeltheegone?
  Whencryfortheoldcomfortandfindnone?
  Never,Iknow!Thysoulisinthyface。
  III。
  Oh,Ishouldfade——'tiswilledso!MightIsave,GladlyIwould,whateverbeautygaveJoytothysense,forthatwasprecioustoo。
  Itisnottobegranted。ButthesoulWhencethelovecomes,allravageleavesthatwhole;
  Vainlythefleshfades;soulmakesallthingsnew。
  IV。
  ItwouldnotbebecausemyeyegrewdimThoucouldstnotfindthelovethere,thankstoHimWhoneverisdishonouredinthesparkHegaveusfromhisfireoffires,andbadeRememberwhenceitsprang,norbeafraidWhilethatburnson,thoughalltherestgrowdark。
  V。
  So,howthouwouldstbeperfect,whiteandcleanOutsideasinside,soulandsoul'sdemesneAlike,thisbodygiventoshowitby!
  Oh,three-partsthroughtheworstoflife'sabyss,Whatplauditsfromthenextworldafterthis,Couldstthourepeatastrokeandgainthesky!
  VI。
  AndisitnotthebitterertothinkThat,disengageourhandsandthouwiltsinkAlthoughthylovewasloveinverydeed?
  Iknowthatnature!Passafestiveday,Thoudostnotthrowitsrelic-flowerawayNorbiditsmusic'sloiteringechospeed。
  VII。
  Thoulet'stthestranger'sgloveliewhereitfell;
  Ifoldthingsremainoldthingsalliswell,ForthouartgratefulasbecomesmanbestAndhadstthouonlyheardmeplayonetune,Orviewedmefromawindow,notsosoonWiththeewouldsuchthingsfadeaswiththerest。
  VIII。
  Iseemtosee!Wemeetandpart;'tisbrief;
  ThebookIopenedkeepsafoldedleaf,TheverychairIsaton,breakstherankThatisaportraitofmeonthewall——
  Threelines,myfacecomesatsoslightacall:
  Andforallthis,onelittlehourtothank!
  IX。
  Butnow,becausethehourthroughyearswasfixed,Becauseourinmostbeingsmetandmixed,Becausethouoncehastlovedme——wiltthoudareSaytothysoulandWhomaylistbeside,``Thereforesheisimmortallymybride;
  ``Chancecannotchangemylove,nortimeimpair。
  X。
  ``So,whatifintheduskoflifethat'sleft,``I,atiredtravellerofmysunbereft,Lookfrommypathwhen,mimickingthesame,``Thefire-flyglimpsespastme,comeandgone?
  ``——Wherewasittillthesunset?whereanon``Itwillbeatthesunrise!What'stoblame?''
  XI。
  Isitsohelpfultothee?CanstthoutakeThemimicup,nor,forthetruething'ssake,Putgentlybysucheffortsatabeam?
  Istheremainderofthewaysolong,Thouneed'stthelittlesolace,thouthestrongWatchoutthywatch,letweakonesdozeanddream!
  XII——
  Ah,butthefresherfaces!``Isittrue,''
  Thou'ltask,``someeyesarebeautifulandnew?
  ``Somehair,——howcanonechoosebutgraspsuchwealth?
  ``Andifamanwouldpresshislipstolips``Freshasthewildinghedge-rose-cupthereslips``Thedew-dropoutof,mustitbebystealth?
  XIII。
  ``ItcannotchangethelovestillkeptforHer,``MorethanifsuchapictureIprefer``Passingadaywith,toaroom'sbareside:
  Thepaintedformtakesnothingshepossessed,Yet,whiletheTitian'sVenusliesatrest,Amanlooks。Oncemore,whatistheretochide?''
  XIV。
  SomustIsee,fromwhereIsitandwatch,Myownselfsellmyself,myhandattachItswarranttotheverytheftsfromme——
  Thysinglenessofsoulthatmademeproud,ThypurityofheartIlovedaloud,Thyman's-truthIwasboldtobidGodsee!
  XV。
  Loveso,then,ifthouwilt!GiveallthoucanstAwaytothenewfaces——disentranced,(Sayitandthinkit)obduratenomore:
  Re-issuelooksandwordsfromtheoldmint,Passthemafresh,nomatterwhosetheprintImageandsuperscriptiononcetheyboreXVI。
  Re-cointhyselfandgiveitthemtospend,——
  Itallcomestothesamethingattheend,Sinceminethouwast,mineartandmineshaltbe,Faithfulorfaithless,scalingupthesumOrlavishofmytreasure,thoumustcomeBacktotheheart'splacehereIkeepforthee!
  XVII。
  Only,whyshoulditbewithstainatall?
  WhymustI,'twixttheleavesofcoronal,Putanykissofpardononthybrow?
  Whyneedtheotherwomenknowsomuch,Andtalktogether,``Suchthelookandsuch``Thesmileheusedtolovewith,thenasnow!''
  XVIII。
  MightIdielastandshowthee!ShouldIfindSuchhardshipinthefewyearsleftbehind,Iffreetotakeandlightmylamp,andgoIntothytomb,andshutthedoorandsit,SeeingthyfaceonthosefoursidesofitThebetterthattheyaresoblank,Iknow!
  XIX。
  Why,timewaswhatIwanted,toturno'erWithinmymindeachlook,getmoreandmoreByhearteachword,toomuchtolearnatfirst;
  Andjointheeallthefitterforthepause'Neaththelowdoorway'slintel。ThatwerecauseForlingering,thoughthoucalledst,ifIdurst!
  XX。
  AndyetthouartthenoblerofustwoWhatdareIdreamof,thatthoucanstnotdo,Outstrippingmytensmallstepswithonestride?
  I'llsaythen,here'satrialandatask——
  Isittobear?——ifeasy,I'llnotask:
  Thoughlovefail,Icantrustoninthypride。
  XXI。
  Pride?——whenthoseeyesforestallthelifebehindThedeathIhavetogothrough!——whenIfind,NowthatIwantthyhelpmost,allofthee!
  WhatdidIfear?ThyloveshallholdmefastUntilthelittleminute'ssleepispastAndIwakesaved——Andyetitwillnotbe!
  TWOINTHECAMPAGNA。
  I。
  Iwonderdoyoufeelto-dayAsIhavefeltsince,handinhand,Wesatdownonthegrass,tostrayInspiritbetterthroughtheland,ThismornofRomeandMay?
  II。
  Forme,Itouchedathought,Iknow,Hastantalizedmemanytimes,(LiketurnsofthreadthespidersthrowMockingacrossourpath)forrhymesTocatchatandletgo。
  III。
  Helpmetoholdit!FirstitleftTheyellowingfennel,runtoseedThere,branchingfromthebrickwork'scleft,Someoldtomb'sruin:yonderweedTookupthefloatingwet,IV。
  WhereonesmallorangecupamassedFivebeetles,——blindandgreentheygropeAmongthehoney-meal:andlast,EverywhereonthegrassyslopeItracedit。Holditfast!
  V。
  ThechampaignwithitsendlessfleeceOffeatherygrasseseverywhere!
  Silenceandpassion,joyandpeace,Aneverlastingwashofair——
  Rome'sghostsinceherdecease。
  VI。
  Suchlifehere,throughsuchlengthsofhours,Suchmiraclesperformedinplay,Suchprimalnakedformsofflowers,SuchlettingnaturehaveherwayWhileheavenlooksfromitstowers!
  VII。
  Howsayyou?Letus,Omydove,Letusbeunashamedofsoul,Asearthliesbaretoheavenabove!
  HowisitunderourcontrolToloveornottolove?
  VIII。
  Iwouldthatyouwerealltome,Youthatarejustsomuch,nomore。
  Noryoursnormine,norslavenorfree!
  Wheredoesthefaultlie?WhatthecoreO'thewound,sincewoundmustbe?
  IX。
  IwouldIcouldadoptyourwill,Seewithyoureyes,andsetmyheartBeatingbyyours,anddrinkmyfillAtyoursoul'ssprings,——yourpartmypartInlife,forgoodandill。
  X。
  No。Iyearnupward,touchyouclose,Thenstandaway。Ikissyourcheek,Catchyoursoul'swarmth,——IplucktheroseAndloveitmorethantonguecanspeak——
  Thenthegoodminutegoes。
  XI。
  AlreadyhowamIsofarOutofthatminute?MustIgoStilllikethethistle-ball,nobar,Onward,wheneverlightwindsblow,Fixedbynofriendlystar?
  XII。
  JustwhenIseemedabouttolearn!
  Whereisthethreadnow?Offagain!
  Theoldtrick!OnlyIdiscern——
  Infinitepassion,andthepainOffiniteheartsthatyearn。
  1Herbwithyellowflowersandseedssupposedtobemedicinal。
  MISCONCEPTIONS。
  I。
  ThisisaspraytheBirdclungto,Makingitblossomwithpleasure,Erethehightree-topshesprangto,Fitforhernestandhertreasure。
  Oh,whatahopebeyondmeasureWasthepoorspray's,whichtheflyingfeethungto,——
  Sotobesingledout,builtin,andsungto!
  II。
  ThisisahearttheQueenleanton,Thrilledinaminuteerratic,Erethetruebosomshebenton,Meetforlove'sregaldalmatic。
  Oh,whatafancyecstaticWasthepoorheart's,erethewandererwenton——
  Lovetobesavedforit,profferedto,spenton!
  1Avestmentusedbyecclesiastics,andformerlybysenatorsandpersonsofhighrank。
  ASERENADEATTHEVILLA。
  I。
  ThatwasI,youheardlastnight,Whenthererosenomoonatall,Nor,topiercethestrainedandtightTentofheaven,aplanetsmall:
  Lifewasdeadandsowaslight。
  II。
  Notatwinklefromthefly,Notaglimmerfromtheworm;
  Whenthecricketsstoppedtheircry,Whentheowlsforboreaterm,Youheardmusic;thatwasI。
  III。
  Earthturnedinhersleepwithpain,Sultrilysuspiredforproof:
  Inatheavenandoutagain,Lightning!——whereitbroketheroof,Bloodlike,somefewdropsofrain。
  IV。
  Whattheycouldmywordsexpressed,Omylove,myall,myone!
  Singinghelpedtheversesbest,Andwhensinging'sbestwasdone,TomyluteIlefttherest。
  V。
  Soworenight;theEastwasgray,Whitethebroad-facedhemlock-flowers:
  Therewouldbeanotherday;
  EreitsfirstofheavyhoursFoundme,Ihadpassedaway。
  VI。
  Whatbecameofallthehopes,Wordsandsongandluteaswell?
  Say,thisstruckyou——``Whenlifegropes``Feeblyforthepathwherefell``Lightlastontheeveningslopes,VII。
  ``Onefriendinthatpathshallbe,``Tosecuremystepfromwrong;
  ``Onetocountnightdayforme,``Patientthroughthewatcheslong,``Servingmostwithnonetosee。''
  VIII。
  Neversay——assomethingbodes——
  ``So,theworsthasyetaworse!
  ``Whenlifehalts'neathdoubleloads,``Betterthetaskmaster'scurse``Thansuchmusicontheroads!
  IX。
  ``Whennomoonsucceedsthesun,``Norcanpiercethemidnight'stent``Anystar,thesmallestone,``Whilesomedrops,wherelightningrent,``Showthefinalstormbegun——
  X。
  ``Whenthefire-flyhidesitsspot,``Whenthegarden-voicesfail``Inthedarknessthickandhot,——
  ``Shallanothervoiceavail,``Thatshapebewherethesearenot?
  XI。
  ``Hassomeplaguealongerlease,``Profferingitshelpuncouth?
  ``Can'toneevendieinpeace?
  ``Asoneshutsone'seyesonyouth,``Isthatfacethelastonesees?''
  XII。
  Ohhowdarkyourvillawas,Windowsfastandobdurate!
  HowthegardengrudgedmegrassWhereIstood——theirongateGrounditsteethtoletmepass!
  ONEWAYOFLOVE。
  I。
  AllJuneIboundtheroseinsheaves。
  Now,rosebyrose,IstriptheleavesAndstrewthemwherePaulinemaypass。
  Shewillnotturnaside?Alas!
  Letthemlie。Supposetheydie?
  Thechancewastheymighttakehereye。
  II。
  HowmanyamonthIstrovetosuitThesestubbornfingerstothelute!
  To-dayIventureallIknow。
  Shewillnothearmymusic?So!
  Breakthestring;foldmusic'swing:
  SupposePaulinehadbademesing!
  III。
  MywholelifelongIlearnedtolove。
  ThishourmyutmostartIproveAndspeakmypassion——heavenorhell?
  Shewillnotgivemeheaven?'Tiswell!
  Losewhomay——Istillcansay,Thosewhowinheaven,blestarethey!
  ANOTHERWAYOFLOVE。
  I。
  JunewasnotoverThoughpastthefall,AndthebestofherrosesHadyettoblow,WhenamanIknow(Butshallnotdiscover,Sinceearsaredull,Andtimediscloses)
  Turnedhimandsaidwithaman'strueair,Halfsighingasmileinayawn,as'twere,——
  ``IfItireofyourJune,willshegreatlycare?''
  II。
  Well,dear,in-doorswithyou!
  True!serenedeadnessTriesaman'stemper。
  What'sintheblossomJunewearsonherbosom?
  Canitclearscoreswithyou?
  Sweetnessandredness。
  _Eademsemper!_
  Go,letmecareforitgreatlyorslightly!
  IfJunemendherbowernow,yourhandleftunsightlyBypluckingtheroses,——myJunewilldorightly。
  III。
  Andafter,forpastime,IfJuneberefulgentWithflowersincompleteness,Allpetals,noprickles,DeliciousastricklesOfwinepouredatmass-time,——
  AndchooseOneindulgentTorednessandsweetness:
  Orif,withexperienceofmanandofspider,JuneusemyJune-lightning,thestronginsect-ridder,Andstopthefreshfilm-work,——why,Junewillconsider。
  APRETTYWOMAN。
  I。
  Thatfawn-skin-dappledhairofhers,AndtheblueeyeDearanddewy,Andthatinfantinefreshairofhers!
  II。
  Tothinkmencannottakeyou,Sweet,Andenfoldyou,Ay,andholdyou,Andsokeepyouwhattheymakeyou,Sweet!
  III
  Youlikeusforaglance,youknow——
  Foraword'ssakeOrasword'ssake,All'sthesame,whate'erthechance,youknow。
  IV。
  Andinturnwemakeyouours,wesay——
  Youandyouthtoo,Eyesandmouthtoo,Allthefacecomposedofflowers,wesay。
  V。
  All'sourown,tomakethemostof,Sweet——
  Singandsayfor,Watchandprayfor,Keepasecretorgoboastof,Sweet!
  VI。
  Butforloving,why,youwouldnot,Sweet,Thoughweprayedyou,Paidyou,brayedyouinamortar——foryoucouldnot,Sweet!
  VII。
  So,weleavethesweetfacefondlythere:
  BeitsbeautyItssoleduty!
  Letallhopeofgracebeyond,liethere!
  VIII。
  Andwhilethefaceliesquietthere,WhoshallwonderThatIponderAconclusion?Iwilltryitthere。
  IX。
  As,——whymustone,fortheloveforegone,Scoutmereliking?
  Thunder-strikingEarth,——theheaven,welookedabovefor,gone!
  X。
  Why,withbeauty,needstheremoneybe,Lovewithliking?
  Crushthefly-kingInhisgauze,becausenohoney-bee?
  XI。
  Maynotlikingbesosimple-sweet,Iflovegrewthere'TwouldundothereAllthatbreaksthecheektodimplessweet?
  XII。
  Isthecreaturetooimperfect,WouldyoumenditAndsoendit?
  Sincenotalladditionperfectsaye!
  XIII。
  Orisitofitskind,perhaps,Justperfection——
  Whence,rejectionOfagracenottoitsmind,perhaps?
  XIV。
  Shallweburnup,treadthatfaceatonceIntotinder,AndsohinderSparksfromkindlingalltheplaceatonce?
  XV。
  Orelsekissawayone'ssoulonher?
  Yourlove-fancies!——
  AsickmanseesTruer,whenhishoteyesrollonher!
  XVI。
  Thusthecraftsmanthinkstogracetherose,——
  Plucksamould-flowerForhisgoldflower,Usesfinethingsthateffacetherose:
  XVII。
  Rosyrubiesmakeitscupmorerose,PreciousmetalsApethepetals,——
  Last,someoldkinglocksitup,morose!
  XVIII。
  Thenhowgracearose?Iknowaway!
  Leaveit,rather。
  Mustyougather?
  Smell,kiss,wearit——atlast,throwaway!
  RESPECTABILITY。
  I。
  Dear,hadtheworldinitscapriceDeignedtoproclaim``Iknowyouboth,``Haverecognizedyourplightedtroth,Amsponsorforyou:liveinpeace!''——
  HowmanypreciousmonthsandyearsOfyouthhadpassed,thatspeedsofast,Beforewefounditoutatlast,Theworld,andwhatitfears?
  II。
  HowmuchofpricelesslifewerespentWithmenthateveryvirtuedecks,Andwomenmodelsoftheirsex,Society'strueornament,——
  Erewedaredwander,nightslikethis,Thro'windandrain,andwatchtheSeine,AndfeeltheBoulevartbreakagainTowarmthandlightandbliss?
  III。
  Iknow!theworldproscribesnotlove;
  AllowsmyfingertocaressYourlips'contouranddowniness,Provideditsupplyaglove。
  Theworld'sgoodword!——theInstitute!
  GuizotreceivesMontalembert!
  Eh?Downthecourtthreelampionsflare:
  Putforwardyourbestfoot!
  LOVEINALIFE。
  I。
  Roomafterroom,IhuntthehousethroughWeinhabittogether。
  Heart,fearnothing,for,heart,thoushaltfindher——
  Nexttime,herself!——notthetroublebehindherLeftinthecurtain,thecouch'sperfume!
  Asshebrushedit,thecornice-wreathblossomedanew:
  Yonlooking-glassgleanedatthewaveofherfeather。
  II。
  Yetthedaywears,Anddoorsucceedsdoor;
  Itrythefreshfortune——
  Rangethewidehousefromthewingtothecentre。
  Stillthesamechance!ShegoesoutasIenter。
  Spendmywholedayinthequest,——whocares?
  But'tistwilight,yousee,——withsuchsuitestoexplore,Suchclosetstosearch,suchalcovestoimportune!
  LIFEINALOVE。
  Escapeme?
  Never——
  Beloved!
  WhileIamI,andyouareyou,Solongastheworldcontainsusboth,MethelovingandyouthelothWhiletheoneeludes,musttheotherpursue。
  Mylifeisafaultatlast,Ifear:
  Itseemstoomuchlikeafate,indeed!
  ThoughIdomybestIshallscarcesucceed。
  ButwhatifIfailofmypurposehere?
  Itisbuttokeepthenervesatstrain,Todryone'seyesandlaughatafall,And,baffled,getupandbeginagain,——
  Sothechacetakesupone'slife'that'sall。
  While,lookbutoncefromyourfarthestboundAtmesodeepinthedustanddark,NosoonertheoldhopegoestogroundThananewone,straighttotheself-samemark,Ishapeme——
  EverRemoved!
  INTHREEDAYS
  I。
  So,IshallseeherinthreedaysAndjustonenight,butnightsareshort,Thentwolonghours,andthatismorn。
  SeehowIcome,unchanged,unworn!
  Feel,wheremylifebrokeofffromthine,Howfreshthesplinterskeepandfine,——
  Onlyatouchandwecombine!
  II。
  Toolong,thistimeofyear,thedays!
  Butnights,atleastthenightsareshort。
  Asnightshowswheregeronemoonis,Ahand's-breadthofpurelightandbliss,Solife'snightgivesmyladybirthAndmyeyesholdher!WhatisworthTherestofheaven,therestofearth?
  III。
  Oloadedcurls,releaseyourstoreOfwarmthandscent,asoncebeforeThetinglinghairdid,lightsanddarksOutbreakingintofairysparks,WhenundercurlandcurlIpriedAfterthewarmthandscentinside,Thro'lightsanddarkshowmanifold——
  Thedarkinspired,thelightcontrolledAsearlyArtembrownsthegold。
  IV。
  Whatgreatfear,shouldonesay,``Threedays``Thatchangetheworldmightchangeaswell``Yourfortune;andifjoydelays,``Behappythatnoworsebefell!''
  Whatsmallfear,ifanothersays,``Threedaysandoneshortnightbeside``Maythrownoshadowonyourways;
  ``Butyearsmustteemwithchangeuntried,``Withchancenoteasilydefied,``Withanendsomewhereundescried。''
  Nofear!——orifafearbebornThisminute,itdiesoutinscorn。
  Fear?IshallseeherinthreedaysAndonenight,nowthenightsareshort,Thenjusttwohours,andthatismorn。
  INAYEAR。
  I。
  Neveranymore,WhileIlive,NeedIhopetoseehisfaceAsbefore。
  Oncehislovegrownchill,Minemaystrive:
  Bitterlywere-embrace,Singlestill。
  II。
  Wasitsomethingsaid,Somethingdone,Vexedhim?wasittouchofhand,Turnofhead?
  Strange!thatverywayLovebegun:
  IaslittleunderstandLove'sdecay。
  III。
  WhenIsewedordrew,IrecallHowhelookedasifIsung,——Sweetlytoo。
  IfIspokeaword,FirstofallUphischeekthecoloursprang,Thenheheard。