thatothersecondhasinformedM。Noir。"
　　"H'm!Imighthaveknownit。ItisjustlikethatFourtou，whoalwayswantstomakeadisplay。"
　　AthalfpastnineinthemorningtheprocessionapproachedthefieldofPlessis-Piquetinthefollowingorder:firstcameourcarriage——nobodyinitbutM。Gambettaandmyself；
　　thenacarriagecontainingM。Fourtouandhissecond；
　　thenacarriagecontainingtwopoet-oratorswhodidnotbelieveinGod，andthesehadMS。funeralorationsprojectingfromtheirbreastpockets；thenacarriagecontainingtheheadsurgeonsandtheircasesofinstruments；
　　theneightprivatecarriagescontainingconsultingsurgeons；
　　thenahackcontainingacoroner；thenthetwohearses；
　　thenacarriagecontainingtheheadundertakers；
　　thenatrainofassistantsandmutesonfoot；andafterthesecameploddingthroughthefogalongprocessionofcampfollowers，police，andcitizensgenerally。
　　Itwasanobleturnout，andwouldhavemadeafinedisplayifwehadhadthinnerweather。
　　Therewasnoconversation。Ispokeseveraltimestomyprincipal，butIjudgehewasnotawareofit，forhealwaysreferredtohisnote-bookandmutteredabsently，"IdiethatFrancemightlive。"
　　"Arrivedonthefield，myfellow-secondandIpacedoffthethirty-fiveyards，andthendrewlotsforchoiceofposition。Thislatterwasbutanornamentalceremony，forallthechoiceswerealikeinsuchweather。
　　Thesepreliminariesbeingended，Iwenttomyprincipalandaskedhimifhewasready。Hespreadhimselfouttohisfullwidth，andsaidinasternvoice，"Ready!Letthebatteriesbecharged。"
　　Theloadingprocesswasdoneinthepresenceofdulyconstitutedwitnesses。Weconsidereditbesttoperformthisdelicateservicewiththeassistanceofalantern，onaccountofthestateoftheweather。Wenowplacedourmen。
　　Atthispointthepolicenoticedthatthepublichadmassedthemselvestogetherontherightandleftofthefield；
　　theythereforebeggedadelay，whiletheyshouldputthesepoorpeopleinaplaceofsafety。
　　Therequestwasgranted。
　　Thepolicehavingorderedthetwomultitudestotakepositionsbehindtheduelists，wewereoncemoreready。
　　Theweathergrowingstillmoreopaque，itwasagreedbetweenmyselfandtheothersecondthatbeforegivingthefatalsignalweshouldeachdeliveraloudwhooptoenablethecombatantstoascertaineachother'swhereabouts。
　　Inowreturnedtomyprincipal，andwasdistressedtoobservethathehadlostagooddealofhisspirit。
　　Itriedmybesttoheartenhim。Isaid，"Indeed，sir，thingsarenotasbadastheyseem。Consideringthecharacteroftheweapons，thelimitednumberofshotsallowed，thegenerousdistance，theimpenetrablesolidityofthefog，andtheaddedfactthatoneofthecombatantsisone-eyedandtheothercross-eyedandnear-sighted，itseemstomethatthisconflictneednotnecessarilybefatal。Therearechancesthatbothofyoumaysurvive。Therefore，cheerup；
　　donotbedownhearted。"
　　Thisspeechhadsogoodaneffectthatmyprincipalimmediatelystretchedforthhishandandsaid，"Iammyselfagain；givemetheweapon。"
　　Ilaidit，alllonelyandforlorn，inthecenterofthevastsolitudeofhispalm。Hegazedatitandshuddered。
　　Andstillmournfullycontemplatingit，hemurmuredinabrokenvoice:
　　"Alas，itisnotdeathIdread，butmutilation。"
　　Iheartenedhimoncemore，andwithsuchsuccessthathepresentlysaid，"Letthetragedybegin。Standatmyback；
　　donotdesertmeinthissolemnhour，myfriend。"
　　Igavehimmypromise。InowassistedhimtopointhispistoltowardthespotwhereIjudgedhisadversarytobestanding，andcautionedhimtolistenwellandfurtherguidehimselfbymyfellow-second'swhoop。
　　ThenIproppedmyselfagainstM。Gambetta'sback，andraisedarousing"Whoop-ee!"Thiswasansweredfromoutthefardistancesofthefog，andIimmediatelyshouted:
　　"One——two——three——FIRE!"
　　TwolittlesoundslikeSPIT!SPIT!brokeuponmyear，andinthesameinstantIwascrushedtotheearthunderamountainofflesh。BruisedasIwas，Iwasstillabletocatchafaintaccentfromabove，tothiseffect:
　　"Idiefor……for……perditiontakeit，whatISitIdiefor?……oh，yes——FRANCE!IdiethatFrancemaylive!"
　　Thesurgeonsswarmedaroundwiththeirprobesintheirhands，andappliedtheirmicroscopestothewholeareaofM。Gambetta'sperson，withthehappyresultoffindingnothinginthenatureofawound。Thenasceneensuedwhichwasineverywaygratifyingandinspiriting。
　　Thetwogladiatorsfelluponeachother'sneck，withfloodsofproudandhappytears；thatothersecondembracedme；
　　thesurgeons，theorators，theundertakers，thepolice，everybodyembraced，everybodycongratulated，everybodycried，andthewholeatmospherewasfilledwithpraiseandwithjoyunspeakable。
　　ItseemstomethenthatIwouldratherbeaheroofaFrenchduelthanacrownedandscepteredmonarch。
　　Whenthecommotionhadsomewhatsubsided，thebodyofsurgeonsheldaconsultation，andafteragooddealofdebatedecidedthatwithpropercareandnursingtherewasreasontobelievethatIwouldsurvivemyinjuries。
　　Myinternalhurtsweredeemedthemostserious，sinceitwasapparentthatabrokenribhadpenetratedmyleftlung，andthatmanyofmyorganshadbeenpressedoutsofartoonesideortheotherofwheretheybelonged，thatitwasdoubtfuliftheywouldeverlearntoperformtheirfunctionsinsuchremoteandunaccustomedlocalities。
　　Theythensetmyleftarmintwoplaces，pulledmyrighthipintoitssocketagain，andre-elevatedmynose。
　　Iwasanobjectofgreatinterest，andevenadmiration；
　　andmanysincereandwarm-heartedpersonshadthemselvesintroducedtome，andsaidtheywereproudtoknowtheonlymanwhohadbeenhurtinaFrenchduelinfortyyears。
　　Iwasplacedinanambulanceattheveryheadoftheprocession；
　　andthuswithgratifying'ECLATIwasmarchedintoParis，themostconspicuousfigureinthatgreatspectacle，anddepositedatthehospital。
　　ThecrossoftheLegionofHonorhasbeenconferreduponme。However，fewescapethatdistinction。
　　Suchisthetrueversionofthemostmemorableprivateconflictoftheage。
　　Ihavenocomplaintstomakeagainstanyone。Iactedformyself，andIcanstandtheconsequences。
　　Withoutboasting，IthinkImaysayIamnotafraidtostandbeforeamodernFrenchduelist，butaslongasIkeepinmyrightmindIwillneverconsenttostandbehindoneagain。
　　CHAPTERIX
　　[WhattheBeautifulMaidenSaid]
　　OnedaywetookthetrainandwentdowntoMannheimtosee"KingLear"playedinGerman。Itwasamistake。
　　Wesatinourseatsthreewholehoursandneverunderstoodanythingbutthethunderandlightning；andeventhatwasreversedtosuitGermanideas，forthethundercamefirstandthelightningfollowedafter。
　　Thebehavioroftheaudiencewasperfect。Therewerenorustlings，orwhisperings，orotherlittledisturbances；
　　eachactwaslistenedtoinsilence，andtheapplaudingwasdoneafterthecurtainwasdown。Thedoorsopenedathalfpastfour，theplaybeganpromptlyathalfpastfive，andwithintwominutesafterwardallwhowerecomingwereintheirseats，andquietreigned。AGermangentlemaninthetrainhadsaidthataShakespearianplaywasanappreciatedtreatinGermanyandthatweshouldfindthehousefilled。Itwastrue；allthesixtierswerefilled，andremainedsototheend——whichsuggestedthatitisnotonlybalconypeoplewholikeShakespeareinGermany，butthoseofthepitandgallery，too。
　　Anothertime，wewenttoMannheimandattendedashivaree——
　　otherwiseanopera——theonecalled"Lohengrin。"Thebangingandslammingandboomingandcrashingweresomethingbeyondbelief。TherackingandpitilesspainofitremainsstoredupinmymemoryalongsidethememoryofthetimethatIhadmyteethfixed。
　　Therewerecircumstanceswhichmadeitnecessaryformetostaythroughthehourhourstotheend，andIstayed；
　　buttherecollectionofthatlong，dragging，relentlessseasonofsufferingisindestructible。Tohavetoendureitinsilence，andsittingstill，madeitalltheharder。
　　Iwasinarailedcompartmentwitheightortenstrangers，ofthetwosexes，andthiscompelledrepression；
　　yetattimesthepainwassoexquisitethatIcouldhardlykeepthetearsback。Atthosetimes，asthehowlingsandwailingsandshriekingofthesingers，andtheragingsandroaringsandexplosionsofthevastorchestrarosehigherandhigher，andwilderandwilder，andfiercerandfiercer，IcouldhavecriedifIhadbeenalone。
　　Thosestrangerswouldnothavebeensurprisedtoseeamandosuchathingwhowasbeinggraduallyskinned，buttheywouldhavemarveledatithere，andmaderemarksaboutitnodoubt，whereastherewasnothinginthepresentcasewhichwasanadvantageoverbeingskinned。
　　Therewasawaitofhalfanhourattheendofthefirstact，andIcouldnottrustmyselftodoit，forIfeltthatI
　　shoulddeserttostayout。Therewasanotherwaitofhalfanhourtowardnineo'clock，butIhadgonethroughsomuchbythattimethatIhadnospiritleft，andsohadnodesirebuttobeletalone。
　　Idonotwishtosuggestthattherestofthepeopletherewerelikeme，for，indeed，theywerenot。Whetheritwasthattheynaturallylikedthatnoise，orwhetheritwasthattheyhadlearnedtolikeitbygettingusedtoit，Ididnotatthetimeknow；buttheydidlike——thiswasplainenough。Whileitwasgoingontheysatandlookedasraptandgratefulascatsdowhenonestrokestheirbacks；
　　andwheneverthecurtainfelltheyrosetotheirfeet，inonesolidmightymultitude，andtheairwassnowedthickwithwavinghandkerchiefs，andhurricanesofapplauseswepttheplace。Thiswasnotcomprehensibletome。
　　Ofcourse，thereweremanypeopletherewhowerenotundercompulsiontostay；yetthetierswereasfullatthecloseastheyhadbeenatthebeginning。Thisshowedthatthepeoplelikedit。
　　Itwasacurioussortofaplay。Inthemannerofcostumesandsceneryitwasfineandshowyenough；
　　buttherewasnotmuchaction。Thatistosay，therewasnotmuchreallydone，itwasonlytalkedabout；
　　andalwaysviolently。Itwaswhatonemightcallanarrativeplay。Everybodyhadanarrativeandagrievance，andnonewerereasonableaboutit，butallinanoffensiveandungovernablestate。Therewaslittleofthatsortofcustomarythingwherethetenorandthesopranostanddownbythefootlights，warbling，withblendedvoices，andkeepholdingouttheirarmstowardeachotheranddrawingthembackandspreadingbothhandsoverfirstonebreastandthentheotherwithashakeandapressure——no，itwaseveryrioterforhimselfandnoblending。
　　Eachsanghisindictivenarrativeinturn，accompaniedbythewholeorchestraofsixtyinstruments，andwhenthishadcontinuedforsometime，andonewashopingtheymightcometoanunderstandingandmodifythenoise，agreatchoruscomposedentirelyofmaniacswouldsuddenlybreakforth，andthenduringtwominutes，andsometimesthree，IlivedoveragainallthatIsufferedthetimetheorphanasylumburneddown。
　　Weonlyhadonebrieflittleseasonofheavenandheaven'ssweetecstasyandpeaceduringallthislonganddiligentandacrimoniousreproductionoftheotherplace。
　　Thiswaswhileagorgeousprocessionofpeoplemarchedaroundandaround，inthethirdact，andsangtheWeddingChorus。
　　Tomyuntutoredearthatwasmusic——almostdivinemusic。
　　Whilemysearedsoulwassteepedinthehealingbalmofthosegracioussounds，itseemedtomethatIcouldalmostresufferthetormentswhichhadgonebefore，inordertobesohealedagain。Thereiswherethedeepingenuityoftheoperaticideaisbetrayed。Itdealssolargelyinpainthatitsscattereddelightsareprodigiouslyaugmentedbythecontrasts。Aprettyairinanoperaisprettiertherethanitcouldbeanywhereelse，Isuppose，justasanhonestmaninpoliticsshinesmorethanhewouldelsewhere。
　　IhavesincefoundoutthatthereisnothingtheGermanslikesomuchasanopera。Theylikeit，notinamildandmoderateway，butwiththeirwholehearts。
　　Thisisalegitimateresultofhabitandeducation。
　　Ournationwillliketheopera，too，byandby，nodoubt。
　　Oneinfiftyofthosewhoattendouroperaslikesitalready，perhaps，butIthinkagoodmanyoftheotherforty-ninegoinordertolearntolikeit，andtherestinordertobeabletotalkknowinglyaboutit。
　　Thelatterusuallyhumtheairswhiletheyarebeingsung，sothattheirneighborsmayperceivethattheyhavebeentooperasbefore。Thefuneralsofthesedonotoccuroftenenough。
　　Agentle，old-maidishpersonandasweetyounggirlofseventeensatrightinfrontofusthatnightattheMannheimopera。Thesepeopletalked，betweentheacts，andIunderstoodthem，thoughIunderstoodnothingthatwasutteredonthedistantstage。Atfirsttheywereguardedintheirtalk，butaftertheyhadheardmyagentandmeconversinginEnglishtheydroppedtheirreserveandIpickedupmanyoftheirlittleconfidences；
　　no，ImeanmanyofHERlittleconfidences——meaningtheelderparty——fortheyounggirlonlylistened，andgaveassentingnods，butneversaidaword。Howprettyshewas，andhowsweetshewas!Iwishedshewouldspeak。
　　Butevidentlyshewasabsorbedinherownthoughts，herownyoung-girldreams，andfoundadearerpleasureinsilence。Butshewasnotdreamingsleepydreams——no，shewasawake，alive，alert，shecouldnotsitstillamoment。Shewasanenchantingstudy。Hergownwasofasoftwhitesilkystuffthatclungtoherroundyoungfigurelikeafish'sskin，anditwasrippledoverwiththegracefulestlittlefringyfilmsoflace；
　　shehaddeep，tendereyes，withlong，curvedlashes；
　　andshehadpeachycheeks，andadimpledchin，andsuchadearlittlerosebudofamouth；andshewassodovelike，sopure，andsogracious，sosweetandsobewitching。
　　ForlonghoursIdidmightilywishshewouldspeak。
　　Andatlastshedid；theredlipsparted，andoutleapsherthought——andwithsuchaguilelessandprettyenthusiasm，too:"Auntie，IjustKNOWI'vegotfivehundredfleasonme!"
　　Thatwasprobablyovertheaverage。Yes，itmusthavebeenverymuchovertheaverage。TheaverageatthattimeintheGrandDuchyofBadenwasforty-fivetoayoungpersonwhenalone，accordingtotheofficialestimateofthehomesecretaryforthatyear；theaverageforolderpeoplewasshiftyandindeterminable，forwheneverawholesomeyounggirlcameintothepresenceofherelderssheimmediatelyloweredtheiraverageandraisedherown。
　　Shebecameasortofcontribution-box。Thisdearyoungthinginthetheaterhadbeensittingthereunconsciouslytakingupacollection。Manyaskinnyoldbeinginourneighborhoodwasthehappierandtherestfulerforhercoming。
　　Inthatlargeaudience，thatnight，therewereeightveryconspicuouspeople。Thesewereladieswhohadtheirhatsorbonnetson。Whatablessedthingitwouldbeifaladycouldmakeherselfconspicuousinourtheatersbywearingherhat。ItisnotusualinEuropetoallowladiesandgentlementotakebonnets，hats，overcoats，canes，orumbrellasintotheauditorium，butinMannheimthisrulewasnotenforcedbecausetheaudienceswerelargelymadeupofpeoplefromadistance，andamongthesewerealwaysafewtimidladieswhowereafraidthatiftheyhadtogointoananteroomtogettheirthingswhentheplaywasover，theywouldmisstheirtrain。Butthegreatmassofthosewhocamefromadistancealwaysrantheriskandtookthechances，preferringthelossofatraintoabreachofgoodmannersandthediscomfortofbeingunpleasantlyconspicuousduringastretchofthreeorfourhours。
　　[HowWagnerOperasBangAlong]
　　Threeorfourhours。Thatisalongtimetositinoneplace，whetheronebeconspicuousornot，yetsomeofWagner'soperasbangalongforsixwholehoursonastretch!
　　Butthepeoplesitthereandenjoyitall，andwishitwouldlastlonger。AGermanladyinMunichtoldmethatapersoncouldnotlikeWagner'smusicatfirst，butmustgothroughthedeliberateprocessoflearningtolikeit——thenhewouldhavehissurereward；
　　forwhenhehadlearnedtolikeithewouldhungerforitandneverbeabletogetenoughofit。ShesaidthatsixhoursofWagnerwasbynomeanstoomuch。
　　Shesaidthatthiscomposerhadmadeacompleterevolutioninmusicandwasburyingtheoldmastersonebyone。
　　AndshesaidthatWagner'soperasdifferedfromallothersinonenotablerespect，andthatwasthattheywerenotmerelyspottedwithmusichereandthere，butwereALLmusic，fromthefirststraintothelast。Thissurprisedme。
　　IsaidIhadattendedoneofhisinsurrections，andfoundhardlyANYmusicinitexcepttheWeddingChorus。
　　Shesaid"Lohengrin"wasnoisierthanWagner'sotheroperas，butthatifIwouldkeepongoingtoseeitIwouldfindbyandbythatitwasallmusic，andthereforewouldthenenjoyit。ICOULDhavesaid，"Butwouldyouadviseapersontodeliberatelypracticehavingatoothacheinthepitofhisstomachforacoupleofyearsinorderthathemightthencometoenjoyit?"ButIreservedthatremark。
　　Thisladywasfullofthepraisesofthehead-tenorwhohadperformedinaWagneroperathenightbefore，andwentontoenlargeuponhisoldandprodigiousfame，andhowmanyhonorshadbeenlavisheduponhimbytheprincelyhousesofGermany。Herewasanothersurprise。
　　Ihadattendedthatveryopera，inthepersonofmyagent，andhadmadecloseandaccurateobservations。SoI
　　said:
　　"Why，madam，MYexperiencewarrantsmeinstatingthatthattenor'svoiceisnotavoiceatall，butonlyashriek——theshriekofahyena。"
　　"Thatisverytrue，"shesaid；"hecannotsingnow；
　　itisalreadymanyyearsthathehaslosthisvoice，butinothertimeshesang，yes，divinely!Sowheneverhecomesnow，youshallsee，yes，thatthetheaterwillnotholdthepeople。JAWOHLBEIGOTT!hisvoiceisWUNDERSCHO"Ninthatpasttime。"
　　IsaidshewasdiscoveringtomeakindlytraitintheGermanswhichwasworthemulating。Isaidthatoverthewaterwewerenotquitesogenerous；thatwithus，whenasingerhadlosthisvoiceandajumperhadlosthislegs，thesepartiesceasedtodraw。IsaidIhadbeentotheoperainHanover，once，andinMannheimonce，andinMunichthroughmyauthorizedagentonce，andthislargeexperiencehadnearlypersuadedmethattheGermansPREFERREDsingerswhocouldn'tsing。Thiswasnotsuchaveryextravagantspeech，either，forthatburlyMannheimtenor'spraiseshadbeenthetalkofallHeidelbergforaweekbeforehisperformancetookplace——yethisvoicewaslikethedistressingnoisewhichanailmakeswhenyouscreechitacrossawindow-pane。IsaidsotoHeidelbergfriendsthenextday，andtheysaid，inthecalmestandsimplestway，thatthatwasverytrue，butthatinearliertimeshisvoiceHADbeenwonderfullyfine。AndthetenorinHanoverwasjustanotherexampleofthissort。
　　TheEnglish-speakingGermangentlemanwhowentwithmetotheoperatherewasbrimmingwithenthusiasmoverthattenor。
　　Hesaid:
　　"ACHGOTT!agreatman!Youshallseehim。HeissocelebrateinallGermany——andhehasapension，yes，fromthegovernment。
　　Henotobligedtosingnow，onlytwiceeveryyear；
　　butifhenotsingtwiceeachyeartheytakehimhispensionaway。"
　　Verywell，wewent。Whentherenownedoldtenorappeared，Igotanudgeandanexcitedwhisper:
　　"Nowyouseehim!"
　　Butthe"celebrate"wasanastonishingdisappointmenttome。
　　IfhehadbeenbehindascreenIshouldhavesupposedtheywereperformingasurgicaloperationonhim。
　　Ilookedatmyfriend——tomygreatsurpriseheseemedintoxicatedwithpleasure，hiseyesweredancingwitheagerdelight。Whenthecurtainatlastfell，heburstintothestormiestapplause，andkeptitup——asdidthewholehouse——untiltheafflictivetenorhadcomethreetimesbeforethecurtaintomakehisbow。
　　Whiletheglowingenthusiastwasswabbingtheperspirationfromhisface，Isaid:
　　"Idon'tmeantheleastharm，butreally，now，doyouthinkhecansing?"
　　"Him?NO!GOTTIMHIMMEL，ABER，howhehasbeenabletosingtwenty-fiveyearsago?"[Thenpensively。]"ACH，no，NOWhenotsinganymore，heonlycry。Whenhethinkhesing，now，henotsingatall，no，heonlymakelikeacatwhichisunwell。"
　　WhereandhowdidwegettheideathattheGermansareastolid，phlegmaticrace?Intruth，theyarewidelyremovedfromthat。Theyarewarm-hearted，emotional，impulsive，enthusiastic，theirtearscomeatthemildesttouch，anditisnothardtomovethemtolaughter。Theyaretheverychildrenofimpulse。
　　Wearecoldandself-contained，comparedtotheGermans。
　　Theyhugandkissandcryandshoutanddanceandsing；
　　andwhereweuseoneloving，pettingexpressionstheypouroutascore。Theirlanguageisfullofendearingdiminutives；
　　nothingthattheyloveescapestheapplicationofapettingdiminutive——neitherthehouse，northedog，northehorse，northegrandmother，noranyothercreature，animateorinanimate。
　　InthetheatersatHanover，Hamburg，andMannheim，theyhadawisecustom。Themomentthecurtainwentup，thelightinthebodyofthehousewentdown。
　　Theaudiencesatinthecoolgloomofadeeptwilight，whichgreatlyenhancedtheglowingsplendorsofthestage。
　　Itsavedgas，too，andpeoplewerenotsweatedtodeath。
　　WhenIsaw"KingLear"played，nobodywasallowedtoseeasceneshifted；iftherewasnothingtobedonebutslideaforestoutofthewayandexposeatemplebeyond，onedidnotseethatforestsplititselfinthemiddleandgoshriekingaway，withtheaccompanyingdisenchantingspectacleofthehandsandheelsoftheimpellingimpulse——no，thecurtainwasalwaysdroppedforaninstant——oneheardnottheleastmovementbehindit——butwhenitwentup，thenextinstant，theforestwasgone。Evenwhenthestagewasbeingentirelyreset，oneheardnonoise。
　　Duringthewholetimethat"KingLear"wasplayingthecurtainwasneverdowntwominutesatanyonetime。
　　Theorchestraplayeduntilthecurtainwasreadytogoupforthefirsttime，thentheydepartedfortheevening。
　　Wherethestagewaitsnevereachtwominutesthereisnooccasionformusic。Ihadneverseenthistwo-minutebusinessbetweenactsbutoncebefore，andthatwaswhenthe"Shaughraun"wasplayedatWallack's。
　　IwasataconcertinMunichonenight，thepeoplewerestreamingin，theclock-handpointedtoseven，themusicstruckup，andinstantlyallmovementinthebodyofthehouseceased——nobodywasstanding，orwalkinguptheaisles，orfumblingwithaseat，thestreamofincomershadsuddenlydriedupatitssource。
　　Ilistenedundisturbedtoapieceofmusicthatwasfifteenminuteslong——alwaysexpectingsometardyticket-holderstocomecrowdingpastmyknees，andbeingcontinuouslyandpleasantlydisappointed——butwhenthelastnotewasstruck，herecamethestreamagain。Yousee，theyhadmadethoselatecomerswaitinthecomfortablewaiting-parlorfromthetimethemusichadbeginuntilitwasended。
　　ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverseenthissortofcriminalsdeniedtheprivilegeofdestroyingthecomfortofahousefulloftheirbetters。Someofthesewereprettyfinebirds，butnomatter，theyhadtotarryoutsideinthelongparlorundertheinspectionofadoublerankofliveriedfootmenandwaiting-maidswhosupportedthetwowallswiththeirbacksandheldthewrapsandtrapsoftheirmastersandmistressesontheirarms。
　　Wehadnofootmentoholdourthings，anditwasnotpermissibletotakethemintotheconcert-room；butthereweresomemenandwomentotakechargeofthemforus。
　　Theygaveuschecksforthemandchargedafixedprice，payableinadvance——fivecents。
　　InGermanytheyalwayshearonethingatanoperawhichhasneveryetbeenheardinAmerica，perhaps——I
　　meantheclosingstrainofafinesoloorduet。
　　Wealwayssmashintoitwithanearthquakeofapplause。
　　Theresultisthatwerobourselvesofthesweetestpartofthetreat；wegetthewhiskey，butwedon'tgetthesugarinthebottomoftheglass。
　　OurwayofscatteringapplausealongthroughanactseemstometobebetterthantheMannheimwayofsavingitalluptilltheactisended。Idonotseehowanactorcanforgethimselfandportrayhotpassionbeforeacoldstillaudience。Ishouldthinkhewouldfeelfoolish。
　　Itisapaintometothisday，torememberhowthatoldGermanLearragedandweptandhowledaroundthestage，withneveraresponsefromthathushedhouse，neverasingleoutbursttilltheactwasended。Tometherewassomethingunspeakablyuncomfortableinthesolemndeadsilencesthatalwaysfollowedthisoldperson'stremendousoutpouringsofhisfeelings。Icouldnothelpputtingmyselfinhisplace——IthoughtIknewhowsickandflathefeltduringthosesilences，becauseIrememberedacasewhichcameundermyobservationonce，andwhich——butI
　　willtelltheincident:
　　OneeveningonboardaMississippisteamboat，aboyoftenyearslayasleepinaberth——along，slim-leggedboy，hewas，encasedinquiteashortshirt；itwasthefirsttimehehadevermadeatriponasteamboat，andsohewastroubled，andscared，andhadgonetobedwithhisheadfilledwithimpendingsnaggings，andexplosions，andconflagrations，andsuddendeath。Aboutteno'clocksometwentyladiesweresittingaroundabouttheladies'
　　saloon，quietlyreading，sewing，embroidering，andsoon，andamongthemsatasweet，benignantolddamewithroundspectaclesonhernoseandherbusyknitting-needlesinherhands。Nowallofasudden，intothemidstofthispeacefulsceneburstthatslim-shankedboyinthebriefshirt，wild-eyed，erect-haired，andshouting，"Fire，fire!
　　JUMPANDRUN，THEBOAT'SAFIREANDTHEREAIN'TAMINUTE
　　TOLOSE!"Allthoseladieslookedsweetlyupandsmiled，nobodystirred，theoldladypulledherspectaclesdown，lookedoverthem，andsaid，gently:
　　"Butyoumustn'tcatchcold，child。Runandputonyourbreastpin，andthencomeandtellusallaboutit。"
　　Itwasacruelchilltogivetoapoorlittledevil'sgushingvehemence。Hewasexpectingtobeasortofhero——thecreatorofawildpanic——andhereeverybodysatandsmiledamockingsmile，andanoldwomanmadefunofhisbugbear。Iturnedandcreptaway——forI
　　wasthatboy——andneverevencaredtodiscoverwhetherIhaddreamedthefireoractuallyseenit。
　　IamtoldthatinaGermanconcertoropera，theyhardlyeverencoreasong；thatthoughtheymaybedyingtohearitagain，theirgoodbreedingusuallypreservesthemagainstrequiringtherepetition。
　　Kingsmayencore；thatisquiteanothermatter；
　　itdelightseverybodytoseethattheKingispleased；
　　andastotheactorencored，hisprideandgratificationaresimplyboundless。Still，therearecircumstancesinwhichevenaroyalencore——
　　Butitisbettertoillustrate。TheKingofBavariaisapoet，andhasapoet'seccentricities——withtheadvantageoverallotherpoetsofbeingabletogratifythem，nomatterwhatformtheymaytake。Heisfondofopera，butnotfondofsittinginthepresenceofanaudience；
　　therefore，ithassometimesoccurred，inMunich，thatwhenanoperahasbeenconcludedandtheplayersweregettingofftheirpaintandfinery，acommandhascometothemtogettheirpaintandfineryonagain。
　　PresentlytheKingwouldarrive，solitaryandalone，andtheplayerswouldbeingatthebeginninganddotheentireoperaoveragainwithonlythatoneindividualinthevastsolemntheaterforaudience。Oncehetookanoddfreakintohishead。Highupandoutofsight，overtheprodigiousstageofthecourttheaterisamazeofinterlacingwater-pipes，sopiercedthatincaseoffire，innumerablelittlethread-likestreamsofwatercanbecausedtodescend；andincaseofneed，thisdischargecanbeaugmentedtoapouringflood。
　　Americanmanagersmightwanttomakeanoteofthat。
　　TheKingwassoleaudience。Theoperaproceeded，itwasapiecewithastorminit；themimicthunderbegantomutter，themimicwindbegantowailandsough，andthemimicraintopatter。TheKing'sinterestrosehigherandhigher；itdevelopedintoenthusiasm。Hecriedout:
　　"Itisvery，verygood，indeed!ButIwillhaverealrain!Turnonthewater!"
　　Themanagerpleadedforareversalofthecommand；saiditwouldruinthecostlysceneryandthesplendidcostumes，buttheKingcried:
　　"Nomatter，nomatter，Iwillhaverealrain!Turnonthewater!"
　　Sotherealrainwasturnedonandbegantodescendingossamerlancestothemimicflower-bedsandgravelwalksofthestage。Therichlydressedactressesandactorstrippedaboutsingingbravelyandpretendingnottomindit。
　　TheKingwasdelighted——hisenthusiasmgrewhigher。
　　Hecriedout:
　　"Bravo，bravo!Morethunder!morelightning!turnonmorerain!"