Falconsawdeathinhisface；gaveashriek，drewhisrevolver，andfiredathimwithaslittleaimashehadatthelioness；thenmadefortheopenwindow。Stainesseizedachair，followedhim，andhurleditathim；andthechairandthemanwentthroughthewindowtogether，andthentherewasastrangethudheardoutside。
　　Rosagavealoudscream，andswoonedaway。
　　Staineslaidhiswifeflatonthefloor，gotthewomenabouther，andatlastshebegantogivetheusualsignsofreturninglife。
　　Stainessaidtotheoldestwomanthere，"Ifsheseesme，shewillgooffagain。Carryhertoherroom；andtellher，bydegrees，thatIamalive。"
　　AllthistimePapaLusignanhadsattremblingandwhimperinginachair，moaning，"Thisisapainfulscene——verypainful。"Butatlastanideastruckhim——"WHY，YOUHAVEROBBEDTHEOFFICE!"
　　ScarcelywasMrs。Stainesoutoftheroom，whenaflydroveup，andthiswasimmediatelyfollowedbyviolentandcontinuousscreamingcloseunderthewindow。
　　"Oh，dear!"sighedPapaLusignan。
　　Theyrandown，andfoundFalconimpaledatfulllengthonthespikesofthevilla，andPhoebescreamingoverhim，andtryinginvaintolifthimoffthem。Hehadstruggledalittle，insilentterror，buthadthenfaintedfromfearandlossofblood，andlyingratherinsidetherails，whichwerehigh，hecouldnotbeextricatedfromtheoutside。
　　Assoonashismiserableconditionwasdiscovered，theservantsrandownintothekitchen，andsouptotherailsbytheareasteps。
　　Theserailshadcaughthim；onehadgonecleanthroughhisarm，theotherhadpenetratedthefleshypartofthethigh，andathirdpiercedhisear。
　　Theygothimoff；buthewasinsensible，andtheplacedrenchedwithhisblood。
　　PhoebeclutchedStainesbythearm。"Letmeknowtheworst，"saidshe。"Ishedead?"
　　Stainesexaminedhim，andsaid"No。"
　　"Canyousavehim?"
　　"I?"
　　"Yes。Whocan，ifyoucannot?Oh，havemercyonme!"andshewentonherkneestohim，andputherforeheadonhisknees。
　　Hewastouchedbyhersimplefaith；andthenobletraditionsofhisprofessionsidedwithhisgratitudetothisinjuredwoman。"Mypoorfriend，"saidhe，"Iwilldomybest，forYOURsake。"
　　Hetookimmediatestepsforstanchingtheblood；andtheflycarriedPhoebeandhervillaintotheinnatGravesend。
　　Falconcametoontheroad；butfindinghimselfalonewithPhoebe，shammedunconsciousnessofeverythingbutpain。
　　Staines，beingthoroughlyenragedwithRosa，yetrememberinghissolemnvownevertoabuseheragain，sawherfather，andtoldhimtotellherheshouldthinkoverherconductquietly，notwishingtobeharderuponherthanshedeserved。
　　Rosa，whohadbeenscreaming，andcryingforjoy，eversinceshecametohersenses，wasnotsomuchafflictedatthismessageasonemighthaveexpected。Hewasalive，andallthingselseweretrifles。
　　Nevertheless，whendayafterdaywentby，andnotevenalinefromChristopher，shebegantofearhewouldcastheroffentirely；themoresoassheheardhewasnowandthenatGravesendtovisitMrs。
　　Falconattheinn。
　　Whilematterswerethus，UnclePhilipburstonherlikeabomb。
　　"Heisalive!heisalive!heisalive!"Andtheyhadacuddleoverit。
　　"Oh，UnclePhilip!Haveyouseenhim?"
　　"Seenhim?Yes。Hecaughtmeonthehop，justasIcameinfromItaly。Itookhimforaghost。"
　　"Oh，weren'tyoufrightened?"
　　"Notabit。Idon'tmindghosts。I'dhavehalfadozentodinnereveryday，ifImightchoose'em。Icouldn'tstandstupidones。
　　ButIsay，histemperisn'timprovedbyallthisdying:heisinanawfulragewithyou；andwhatfor?"
　　"Ouncle!whatfor?BecauseI'mthevilestofwomen!"
　　"Vilestoffiddlesticks!It'shisfault，notyours。Shouldn'thavedied。It'salwaysadangerousexperiment。"
　　"Ishalldieifhewillnotforgiveme。Hekeepsawayfrommeandfromhischild。"
　　"I'lltellyou。Heheard，inGravesend，yourbannshadbeencried:
　　thathasmovedthepeevishfellow'sbile。"
　　"Itwasdonewithoutmyconsent。Papawilltellyouso；and，O
　　uncle，ifyouknewthearts，theforgedletterinmydarling'shand，thewayhewroughtonme!Ovillain!villain!Uncle，forgiveyourpoorsillyniece，thattheworldistoowickedandtoocleverforhertolivein。"
　　"Becauseyouaretoogoodandinnocent，"saidUnclePhilip。
　　"There，don'tyoubedown-hearted。I'llsoonbringyoutwotogetheragain——acoupleofninnies。I'lltellyouwhatisthefirstthing:youmustcomeandlivewithme。Comeatonce，bagandbaggage。Hewon'tshowhere，thesulkybrute。"
　　PhilipStaineshadalargehouseinCavendishSquare，acrustyoldpatient，likehimself，hadlefthim。Itwashishumortoliveinacornerofthismansion，thoughthewholewascapitallyfurnishedbyhisjudiciouspurchasesatauctions。
　　HegaveRosaandherboyandhisnursetheentirefirstfloor，andtoldhershewasthereforlife。"Lookhere，"saidhe，"thislastaffairhasopenedmyeyes。Suchwomenasyouarethesweetenersofexistence。Youleavemyroofnomore。Yourhusbandwillmakethesamediscovery。Lethimrunabout，andbemiserableabit。Hewillhavetocometobook。"
　　Sheshookherheadsadly。
　　"MyChristopherwillneversayaharshwordtome。Alltheworseforme。Hewillquietlyabandonacreaturesoinferiortohim。"
　　"Stuff!"
　　Now，shewasalwaysrunningtothewindow，inhopethatChristopherwouldcallonhisuncle，andthatshemightseehim；andonedayshegaveascreamsoeloquent，Philipknewwhatitmeant。"Getyoubehindthatscreen，youandyourboy，"saidhe，"andbeasstillasmice。Stop!givemethatletterthescoundrelforged，andthering。"
　　Thiswashardlydone，andRosaoutofsight，andtremblingfromheadtofoot，whenChristopherwasannounced。Philipreceivedhimveryaffectionately，butwastednotime。
　　"BeentoKentVillayet?"
　　"No，"wasthegrimreply。
　　"Whynot?"
　　"BecauseIhaveswornnevertosayanangrywordtoheragain；and，ifIwastogothere，Ishouldsayagoodmanyangryones。Oh，whenIthinkthatherfollydrovemetosea，todomybestforher，andthatIwasnearerdeathforthatwomanthanevermanwas，andlostmyreasonforher，andwentthroughtoilandprivations，hunger，exile，mainlyforher，andthentofindthebannscriedinopenchurch，withthatscoundrel!——saynomore，uncle。Ishallneverreproachher，andneverforgiveher。"
　　"Shewasdeceived。"
　　"Idon'tdoubtthat；butnobodyhasarighttobesogreatafoolasallthat。"
　　"Itwasnotherfolly，butherinnocence，thatwasimposedon。Youaphilosopher，andnotknowthatwisdomitselfissometimesimposedon，anddeceivedbycunningfolly!HaveyouforgottenyourMilton?——
　　"'AtWisdom'sgate，Suspicionsleeps，Anddeemsnoillwherenoillseems。'
　　Come，come!areyousureyouarenotalittletoblame?Didyouwritehomethemomentyoufoundyouwerenotdead?"
　　Christophercoloredhigh。
　　"Evidentlynot，"saidthekeenoldman。"Ah，myfinefellow!haveIfoundtheflawinyourownarmor?"
　　"Ididwrong，butitwasforher。Isinnedforher。Icouldnotbearhertobewithoutmoney，andIknewtheinsurance——Isinnedforher。ShehassinnedAGAINSTme。"
　　"AndshehadmuchbetterhavesinnedagainstGod，hadn'tshe?Heismoreforgivingthanweperfectcreaturesthatcheatinsurancecompanies。Andso，myfinefellow，youhidthetruthfromherfortwoorthreemonths。"
　　Noanswer。
　　"Strikeoffthosetwoorthreemonths；wouldthebannshaveeverbeencried?"
　　"Well，uncle，"saidChristopher，hardpressed，"Iamgladshehasgotachampion；andIhopeyouwillalwayskeepyoureyeonher。"
　　"Imeanto。"
　　"Good-morning。"
　　"No；don'tbeinahurry。Ihavesomethingelsetosay，notsoprovoking。Doyouknowtheartsbywhichshewasmadetobelieveyouwishedhertomarryagain?"
　　"Iwishedhertomarryagain!Areyoumad，uncle?"
　　"Whosehandwritingisonthisenvelope?"
　　"Mine，tobesure。"
　　"Now，readtheletter。"
　　Christopherreadtheforgedletter。
　　"Oh，monstrous!"
　　"Thiswasgivenherwithyourrubyring，andatalesoartfulthatnothingwereadaboutthedevilcomesnearit。Thiswaswhatdidit。TheEarlofTadcasterbroughthertitle，andwealth，andlove。"
　　"What，hetoo!ThelittlecubIsaved，andlostmyselffor——blankhim!blankhim!"
　　"Why，youstupidninny!youforgetyouweredead；andhecouldnothelplovingher。Howcouldhe?Well，butyouseesherefusedhim。
　　Andwhy?becausehecamewithoutaforgedletterfromYOU。Doyoudoubtherloveforyou?"
　　"OfcourseIdo。SheneverlovedmeasIlovedher。"
　　"Christopher，don'tyousaythatbeforeme，oryouandIshallquarrel。Poorgirl!shelay，inmysight，asneardeathforyouasyouwereforher。I'llshowyousomething。"
　　Hewenttoacabinet，andtookoutasilverpaper；heunpinnedit，andlaidRosa'sbeautifulblackhairuponherhusband'sknees。
　　"Lookatthat，youhard-heartedbrute!"heroaredtoChristopher，whosat，anythingbuthard-hearted，hiseyesfillingfast，atthesadproofofhiswife'sloveandsuffering。
　　Rosacouldbearnomore。Shecameoutwithherboyinherhand。
　　"Ouncle，donotspeakharshlytohim，oryouwillkillmequite!"
　　Shecameacrosstheroom，apictureoftimidityandpenitence，withherwholeeloquentbodybentforwardatanangle。Shekneeledathisknees，withstreamingeyes，andheldherboyuptohim:"Pleadforyourpoormother，mydarling。Shemournsherfault，andwillneverexcuseit。"
　　Thecausewassoondecided。AllPhilip'slogicwasnothing，comparedwithmightynature。Christophergaveonegreatsob，andtookhisdarlingtohisheart，withoutoneword；andheandRosaclungtogether，andcriedovereachother。Philipslippedoutoftheroom，andlefttherestoredonestogether。
　　Ihavesomethingmoretosayaboutmyheroandheroine，butmustfirstdealwithothercharacters，notwhollyuninterestingtothereader，Ihope。
　　Dr。StainesdirectedPhoebeFalconhowtotreatherhusband。Nomedicine，nostimulants；verywholesomefood，inmoderation，andthetemperatureofthebodyregulatedbytepidwater。Undertheseinstructions，theinjuredbutstilldevotedwifewastherealhealer。Hepulledthrough，butwaslameforlife，andridiculouslylame，forhewentwithaspringhalt，——asortofhop-and-go-onethatmadethegirlslaugh，andvexedAdonis。
　　Phoebefoundthediamonds，andofferedthemalltoStaines，inexpiationofhisvillany。"See，"shesaid，"hehasonlyspentone。"
　　Stainessaidhewasgladofit，forhersake，forhemustbejusttohisownfamily。Hesoldthemforthreethousandtwohundredpounds；butforthebigdiamondhegottwelvethousandpounds，andIbelieveitwasworthdoublethemoney。
　　Countingthetwosums，anddeductingsixhundredforthestoneMr。
　　Falconhadembezzled，hegaveheroverseventhousandpounds。
　　Shestaredathim，andchangedcoloratsolargeasum。"ButI
　　havenoclaimonthat，sir。"
　　"Thatisagoodjoke，"saidhe。"Why，youandIarepartnersinthewholething——youandIandDick。WasitnotwithhishorseandrifleIboughtthebigdiamond?Poordear，honest，manlyDick!
　　No，themoneyishonestlyyours，Mrs。Falcon；butdon'ttrustapennytoyourhusband。"
　　"Hewillneverseeit，sir。Ishalltakehimback，andgivehimallhisheartcanaskfor，withthis；buthewillbelittlemorethanaservantinthehousenow，aslongasDickissingle；Iknowthat；"andshecouldstillcryatthehumiliationofhervillain。
　　Stainesmadeherpromisetowritetohim；andshedidwritehimasweet，womanlyletter，tosaythattheyweremakinganenormousfortune，andhopedtoendtheirdaysinEngland。Dicksenthiskindloveandthanks。
　　Iwilladd，whatsheonlysaidbyimplication，thatshewashappyafterall。Shestillcontrivedtolovethethingshecouldnotrespect。Once，whenanofficiousfriendpitiedherforherhusband'slameness，shesaid，"Findmeafacelikehis。Thelamerthebetter；hecan'trunafterthegirls，likeSOME。"
　　Dr。StainescalledonLadyCicelyTreherne；thefootmanstared。Helefthiscard。
　　Aweekafterwards，shecalledonhim。Shehadapinktingeinhercheeks，ageneralanimation，andherfacefullofbrightnessandarchness。
　　"Blessme!"saidhebluntly，"isthisyou?Howyouareimproved!"
　　"Yes，"saidshe；"andIamcometothankyouforyourpwescwiption:
　　Ifollowedittothelettaa。"
　　"Woeisme!Ihaveforgottenit。"
　　"Youdiwectedmetomawwyaniceman。"
　　"Never:Ihateaniceman。"
　　"No，no——anIwishman:andIhavedoneit。"
　　"Goodgracious!youdon'tmeanthat!Imustbemorecautiousinmyprescriptions。Afterall，itseemstoagree。"
　　"Admiwably。"
　　"Helovesyou?"
　　"Todistwaction。"
　　"Heamusesyou?"
　　"Pwodigiously。Comeandsee。"
　　Dr。andMrs。StaineslivewithUnclePhilip。Theinsurancemoneyisreturned，butthediamondmoneymakesthemveryeasy。Stainesfollowshisprofessionnowundergreatadvantages:anoblehouse，rentfree；thecuriositythatattachestoamanwhohasbeencantedoutofashipinmid-ocean，andlivestotellit；andthenLordTadcaster，marriedintoanothernoblehouse，swearsbyhim，andtalksofhim；sodoesLadyCicelyMunster，lateTreherne；andwhensuchfriendsasthesearewarm，itmakesaphysicianthecentreofanimportantclientele；buthisbestfriendofallishisunflaggingindustry，andhistrulywonderfuldiagnosis，whichresemblesdivination。Hehastheballathisfeet，andaboveall，thatwithoutwhichworldlysuccesssoonpalls，ahappyhome，afiresidewarmwithsympathy。
　　Mrs。Stainesisanadmiring，sympathizingwife，andanadmirablehousekeeper。Shestilluttersinadvertenciesnowandthen，commitsnewerrorsatoddtimes，butneverrepeatsthemwhenexposed。
　　Observingwhichdocility，UnclePhiliphasbeenheardtoexpressafearthat，intwentyyears，shewillbethewisestwomaninEngland。"But，thankheaven!"headds，"Ishallbegonebeforethat。"
　　Herconductandconversationaffordthiscynicconstantfoodforobservation；andhehasdeliveredhimselforacularlyatvariousstagesofthestudy:butIcannotsaythathisobservations，takenasawhole，presentthatconsistencywhichentitlesthemtoberegardedasabodyofphilosophy。Examples:InthesecondmonthafterMrs。Stainescametolivewithhim，hedeliveredhimselfthus:"MynieceRosaisananomaly。Shegivesyoutheimpressionsheisshallow。Mindyoureye:inonemomentshewilltakeyououtofyourdepthoranyman'sdepth。SheislikethosecountrystreamsIusedtofishforpikewhenIwasyoung；yougoalong，seeingthebottomeverywhere；butpresentlyyoucometoacorner，anditisfifteendeepallinamoment，andsouseyougooverheadandears:that'smynieceRosa。"
　　Insixmonthshehadgottothis——and，mindyou，eachsuccessivedogmawasdeliveredinaloud，aggressivetone，andinsublimeoblivionoftheprecedingoracle——"MynieceRosaisthemostartfulwoman。Youmayhaw!haw!haw!asmuchasyoulike。Youhavenotfoundoutherlittlegame——Ihave。Whatistheaimofallwomen?
　　Tobebelovedbyanunconscionablenumberofpeople。Well，shesetsupforasimpleton，andsodisarmsallthebrilliantpeople，andtheyloveher。Everybodylovesher。Justyouputherdowninaroomwithsixcleverwomen，andyouwillseewhoisthefavorite。
　　Shelooksasshallowasapond，andsheisasdeepastheocean。"
　　Attheendoftheyearhethrewoffthemaskaltogether。"Thegreatsweetenerofaman'slife，"saidhe，"is'asimpleton。'I
　　shallnotgoabroadanymore；myhousehasbecomeattractive:I'vegotasimpleton。WhenIhaveaheadache，hereyesfillwithtenderconcern，andshehoversaboutmeandpestersmewithpillows:whenIamcrosswithher，sheisafraidIamill。WhenIdie，andleaveheralotofmoney，shewillhowlformonths，andsayIdon'twanthismoney:'Iwaw-waw-waw-waw-wantmyUnclePhilip，toloveme，andscoldme。'Onedayshetoldme，withasigh，Ihadn'tlecturedherforamonth。'IamafraidIhaveoffendedyou，'saysshe，'orelsewornyouout，dear。'WhenIamwell，givemeasimpleton，tomakemelaugh。WhenIamill，givemeasimpletontosoothemewithherinnocenttenderness。Asimpletonshallwipethedewsofdeath，andclosemyeyes:andwhenIcrosstheriverofdeath，letmebemetbyabandoftheheavenlyhost，whowereallsimpletonshereonearth，andtoogoodforsuchahole，sonowtheyareinheaven，andtheirgarmentsalwayswhite——becausetherearenolaundressesthere。"
　　Arrivedatthispoint，theAnglo-Saxonracewillretire，grinning，tofreshpastures，andleavethischampionof"aSimpleton，"tothunderparadoxesinadesert。