首页 >出版文学> A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN>第4章
  Thefellowsathistablestoodup。Hestoodupandpassedoutamongtheminthefile。Hehadtodecide。Hewascomingnearthedoor。Ifhewentonwiththefellowshecouldnevergouptotherectorbecausehecouldnotleavetheplaygroundforthat。AndifhewentandwaspandiedallthesameallthefellowswouldmakefunandtalkaboutyoungDedalusgoinguptotherectortotellontheprefectofstudies。
  Hewaswalkingdownalongthemattingandhesawthedoorbeforehim。
  Itwasimpossible:hecouldnot。Hethoughtofthebaldyheadoftheprefectofstudieswiththecruelno-colouredeyeslookingathimandheheardthevoiceoftheprefectofstudiesaskinghimtwicewhathisnamewas。
  Whycouldhenotrememberthenamewhenhewastoldthefirsttime?Washenotlisteningthefirsttimeorwasittomakefunoutofthename?
  Thegreatmeninthehistoryhadnameslikethatandnobodymadefunofthem。Itwashisownnamethatheshouldhavemadefunofifhewantedtomakefun。Dolan:itwaslikethenameofawomanwhowashedclothes。
  Hehadreachedthedoorand,turningquicklyuptotheright,walkedupthestairsand,beforehecouldmakeuphismindtocomeback,hehadenteredthelowdarknarrowcorridorthatledtothecastle。Andashecrossedthethresholdofthedoorofthecorridorhesaw,withoutturninghisheadtolook,thatallthefellowswerelookingafterhimastheywentfilingby。
  Hepassedalongthenarrowdarkcorridor,passinglittledoorsthatwerethedoorsoftheroomsofthecommunity。Hepeeredinfrontofhimandrightandleftthroughthegloomandthoughtthatthosemustbeportraits。
  Itwasdarkandsilentandhiseyeswereweakandtiredwithtearssothathecouldnotsee。Buthethoughttheyweretheportraitsofthesaintsandgreatmenoftheorderwhowerelookingdownonhimsilentlyashepassed:saintIgnatiusLoyolaholdinganopenbookandpointingtothewordsAdMajoremDeiGloriaminit;saintFrancisXavierpointingtohischest;LorenzoRicciwithhisberrettaonhisheadlikeoneoftheprefectsofthelines,thethreepatronsofholyyouth-saintStanislausKostka,saintAloysiusGonzago,andBlessedJohnBerchmans,allwithyoungfacesbecausetheydiedwhentheywereyoung,andFatherPeterKennysittinginachairwrappedinabigcloak。
  Hecameoutonthelandingabovetheentrancehallandlookedabouthim。ThatwaswhereHamiltonRowanhadpassedandthemarksofthesoldiers'
  slugswerethere。Anditwastherethattheoldservantshadseentheghostinthewhitecloakofamarshal。
  Anoldservantwassweepingattheendofthelanding。Heaskedhimwherewastherector'sroomandtheoldservantpointedtothedooratthefarendandlookedafterhimashewentontoitandknocked。
  Therewasnoanswer。Heknockedagainmoreloudlyandhisheartjumpedwhenheheardamuffledvoicesay:——
  Comein!
  Heturnedthehandleandopenedthedoorandfumbledforthehandleofthegreenbaizedoorinside。Hefounditandpusheditopenandwentin。
  Hesawtherectorsittingatadeskwriting。Therewasaskullonthedeskandastrangesolemnsmellintheroomliketheoldleatherofchairs。
  Hisheartwasbeatingfastonaccountofthesolemnplacehewasinandthesilenceoftheroom:andhelookedattheskullandattherector'skind-lookingface——
  Well,mylittleman,saidtherector,whatisit?
  Stephenswalloweddownthethinginhisthroatandsaid:——
  Ibrokemyglasses,sir。
  Therectoropenedhismouthandsaid:——
  O!
  Thenhesmiledandsaid:——
  Well,ifwebrokeourglasseswemustwritehomeforanewpair——
  Iwrotehome,sir,saidStephen,andFatherArnallsaidIamnottostudytilltheycome——
  Quiteright!saidtherector。
  Stephenswalloweddownthethingagainandtriedtokeephislegsandhisvoicefromshaking——
  But,sir——
  Yes?——
  FatherDolancameintodayandpandiedmebecauseIwasnotwritingmytheme。
  Therectorlookedathiminsilenceandhecouldfeelthebloodrisingtohisfaceandthetearsabouttorisetohiseyes。
  Therectorsaid:——
  YournameisDedalus,isn'tit?——
  Yes,sir——Andwheredidyoubreakyourglasses?——
  Onthecinder-path,sir。AfellowwascomingoutofthebicyclehouseandIfellandtheygotbroken。Idon'tknowthefellow'sname。
  Therectorlookedathimagaininsilence。Thenhesmiledandsaid:——
  O,well,itwasamistake;IamsureFatherDolandidnotknow——
  ButItoldhimIbrokethem,sir,andhepandiedme——
  Didyoutellhimthatyouhadwrittenhomeforanewpair?therectorasked——
  No,sir——
  Owellthen,saidtherector,FatherDolandidnotunderstand。YoucansaythatIexcuseyoufromyourlessonsforafewdays。
  Stephensaidquicklyforfearhistremblingwouldpreventhim:——
  Yes,sir,butFatherDolansaidhewillcomeintomorrowtopandymeagainforit——
  Verywell,therectorsaid,itisamistakeandIshallspeaktoFatherDolanmyself。Willthatdonow?
  Stephenfeltthetearswettinghiseyesandmurmured:——
  Oyessir,thanks。
  TherectorheldhishandacrossthesideofthedeskwheretheskullwasandStephen,placinghishandinitforamoment,feltacoolmoistpalm——
  Gooddaynow,saidtherector,withdrawinghishandandbowing——
  Goodday,sir,saidStephen。
  Hebowedandwalkedquietlyoutoftheroom,closingthedoorscarefullyandslowly。
  Butwhenhehadpassedtheoldservantonthelandingandwasagaininthelownarrowdarkcorridorhebegantowalkfasterandfaster。Fasterandfasterhehurriedonthroughthegloomexcitedly。Hebumpedhiselbowagainstthedoorattheendand,hurryingdownthestaircase,walkedquicklythroughthetwocorridorsandoutintotheair。
  Hecouldhearthecriesofthefellowsontheplaygrounds。Hebrokeintoarunand,runningquickerandquicker,ranacrossthecinderpathandreachedthethirdlineplayground,panting。
  Thefellowshadseenhimrunning。Theyclosedroundhiminaring,pushingoneagainstanothertohear——
  Tellus!Tellus!——
  Whatdidhesay?——
  Didyougoin?
  Whatdidhesay?——
  Tellus!Tellus!
  Hetoldthemwhathehadsaidandwhattherectorhadsaidand,whenhehadtoldthem,allthefellowsflungtheircapsspinningupintotheairandcried:——
  Hurroo!
  Theycaughttheircapsandsentthemupagainspinningsky-highandcriedagain:——
  Hurroo!Hurroo!
  Theymadeacradleoftheirlockedhandsandhoistedhimupamongthemandcarriedhimalongtillhestruggledtogetfree。Andwhenhehadescapedfromthemtheybrokeawayinalldirections,flingingtheircapsagainintotheairandwhistlingastheywentspinningupandcrying:——
  Hurroo!
  AndtheygavethreegroansforBaldyheadDolanandthreecheersforConmeeandtheysaidhewasthedecentestrectorthatwaseverinClongowes。
  Thecheersdiedawayinthesoftgreyair。Hewasalone。Hewashappyandfree;buthewouldnotbeanywayproudwithFatherDolan。Hewouldbeveryquietandobedient:andhewishedthathecoulddosomethingkindforhimtoshowhimthathewasnotproud。
  Theairwassoftandgreyandmildandeveningwascoming。Therewasthesmellofeveningintheair,thesmellofthefieldsinthecountrywheretheydiggedupturnipstopeelthemandeatthemwhentheywentoutforawalktoMajorBarton's,thesmelltherewasinthelittlewoodbeyondthepavilionwherethegallnutswere。
  Thefellowswerepractisinglongshiesandbowlinglobsandslowtwisters。
  Inthesoftgreysilencehecouldhearthebumpoftheballs:andfromhereandfromtherethroughthequietairthesoundofthecricketbats:
  pick,pack,pock,puck:likedropsofwaterinafountainfallingsoftlyinthebrimmingbowl。
  Chapter2UncleCharlessmokedsuchblacktwistthatatlasthisnephewsuggestedtohimtoenjoyhismorningsmokeinalittleouthouseattheendofthegarden——
  Verygood,Simon。Allserene,Simon,saidtheoldmantranquilly。
  Anywhereyoulike。Theouthousewilldomenicely:itwillbemoresalubrious——
  Damnme,saidMrDedalusfrankly,ifIknowhowyoucansmokesuchvillainousawfultobacco。It'slikegunpowder,byGod——
  It'sverynice,Simon,repliedtheoldman。Verycoolandmollifying。
  Everymorning,therefore,uncleCharlesrepairedtohisouthousebutnotbeforehehadgreasedandbrushedscrupulouslyhisbackhairandbrushedandputonhistallhat。Whilehesmokedthebrimofhistallhatandthebowlofhispipewerejustvisiblebeyondthejambsoftheouthousedoor。
  Hisarbour,ashecalledthereekingouthousewhichhesharedwiththecatandthegardentools,servedhimalsoasasounding-box:andeverymorninghehummedcontentedlyoneofhisfavouritesongs:O,twinemeabowerorBlueEyesandGoldenHairorTheGrovesofBlarneywhilethegreyandbluecoilsofsmokeroseslowlyfromhispipeandvanishedinthepureair。
  DuringthefirstpartofthesummerinBlackrockuncleCharleswasStephen'sconstantcompanion。UncleCharleswasahaleoldmanwithawelltannedskin,ruggedfeaturesandwhitesidewhiskers。OnweekdayshedidmessagesbetweenthehouseinCarysfortAvenueandthoseshopsinthemainstreetofthetownwithwhichthefamilydealt。StephenwasgladtogowithhimontheseerrandsforuncleCharleshelpedhimveryliberallytohandfulsofwhateverwasexposedinopenboxesandbarrelsoutsidethecounter。
  HewouldseizeahandfulofgrapesandsawdustorthreeorfourAmericanapplesandthrustthemgenerouslyintohisgrandnephew'shandwhiletheshopmansmileduneasily;and,onStephen'sfeigningreluctancetotakethem,hewouldfrownandsay:——
  Takethem,sir。Doyouhearme,sir?They'regoodforyourbowels。
  WhentheorderlisthadbeenbookedthetwowouldgoontotheparkwhereanoldfriendofStephen'sfather,MikeFlynn,wouldbefoundseatedonabench,waitingforthem。ThenwouldbeginStephen'srunroundthepark。MikeFlynnwouldstandatthegateneartherailwaystation,watchinhand,whileStephenranroundthetrackinthestyleMikeFlynnfavoured,hisheadhighlifted,hiskneeswellliftedandhishandsheldstraightdownbyhissides。Whenthemorningpracticewasoverthetrainerwouldmakehiscommentsandsometimesillustratethembyshufflingalongforayardorsocomicallyinanoldpairofbluecanvasshoes。AsmallringofwonderstruckchildrenandnursemaidswouldgathertowatchhimandlingerevenwhenheanduncleCharleshadsatdownagainandweretalkingathleticsandpolitics。ThoughhehadheardhisfathersaythatMikeFlynnhadputsomeofthebestrunnersofmoderntimesthroughhishandsStephenoftenglancedathistrainer'sflabbystubble-coveredface,asitbentoverthelongstainedfingersthroughwhichherolledhiscigarette,andwithpityatthemildlustrelessblueeyeswhichwouldlookupsuddenlyfromthetaskandgazevaguelyintothebluedistancewhilethelongswollenfingersceasedtheirrollingandgrainsandfibresoftobaccofellbackintothepouch。
  OnthewayhomeuncleCharleswouldoftenpayavisittothechapeland,asthefontwasaboveStephen'sreach,theoldmanwoulddiphishandandthensprinklethewaterbrisklyaboutStephen'sclothesandontheflooroftheporch。Whileheprayedhekneltonhisredhandkerchiefandreadabovehisbreathfromathumbblackenedprayerbookwhereincatchwordswereprintedatthefootofeverypage。Stephenkneltathissiderespecting,thoughhedidnotshare,hispiety。Heoftenwonderedwhathisgrand-uncleprayedforsoseriously。PerhapsheprayedforthesoulsinpurgatoryorforthegraceofahappydeathorperhapsheprayedthatGodmightsendhimbackapartofthebigfortunehehadsquanderedinCork。
  OnSundaysStephenwithhisfatherandhisgrand-uncletooktheirconstitutional。
  Theoldmanwasanimblewalkerinspiteofhiscornsandoftentenortwelvemilesoftheroadwerecovered。ThelittlevillageofStillorganwasthepartingoftheways。EithertheywenttothelefttowardstheDublinmountainsoralongtheGoatstownroadandthenceintoDundrum,cominghomebySandyford。Trudgingalongtheroadorstandinginsomegrimywaysidepublichousehiseldersspokeconstantlyofthesubjectsnearertheirhearts,ofIrishpolitics,ofMunsterandofthelegendsoftheirownfamily,toallofwhichStephenlentanavidear。Wordswhichhedidnotunderstandhesaidoverandovertohimselftillhehadlearntthembyheart:andthroughthemhehadglimpsesoftherealworldaboutthem。Thehourwhenhetoowouldtakepartinthelifeofthatworldseemeddrawingnearandinsecrethebegantomakereadyforthegreatpartwhichhefeltawaitedhimthenatureofwhichheonlydimlyapprehended。
  Hiseveningswerehisown;andheporedoveraraggedtranslationofTheCountofMonteCristo。Thefigureofthatdarkavengerstoodforthinhismindforwhateverhehadheardordivinedinchildhoodofthestrangeandterrible。Atnighthebuiltupontheparlourtableanimageofthewonderfulislandcaveoutoftransfersandpaperflowersandcolouredtissuepaperandstripsofthesilverandgoldenpaperinwhichchocolateiswrapped。Whenhehadbrokenupthisscenery,wearyofitstinsel,therewouldcometohismindthebrightpictureofMarseille,ofsunnytrellises,andofMercedes。
  OutsideBlackrock,ontheroadthatledtothemountains,stoodasmallwhitewashedhouseinthegardenofwhichgrewmanyrosebushes:andinthishouse,hetoldhimself,anotherMercedeslived。Bothontheoutwardandonthehomewardjourneyhemeasureddistancebythislandmark:andinhisimaginationhelivedthroughalongtrainofadventures,marvellousasthoseinthebookitself,towardsthecloseofwhichthereappearedanimageofhimself,grownolderandsadder,standinginamoonlitgardenwithMercedeswhohadsomanyyearsbeforeslightedhislove,andwithasadlyproudgestureofrefusal,saying:——
  Madam,Inevereatmuscatelgrapes。
  HebecametheallyofaboynamedAubreyMillsandfoundedwithhimagangofadventurersintheavenue。Aubreycarriedawhistledanglingfromhisbuttonholeandabicyclelampattachedtohisbeltwhiletheothershadshortsticksthrustdaggerwisethroughtheirs。Stephen,whohadreadofNapoleon'splainstyleofdress,chosetoremainunadornedandtherebyheightenedforhimselfthepleasureoftakingcounselwithhislieutenantbeforegivingorders。Thegangmadeforaysintothegardensofoldmaidsorwentdowntothecastleandfoughtabattleontheshaggyweed-grownrocks,cominghomeafteritwearystragglerswiththestaleodoursoftheforeshoreintheirnostrilsandtherankoilsoftheseawrackupontheirhandsandintheirhair。
  AubreyandStephenhadacommonmilkmanandoftentheydroveoutinthemilk-cartoCarrickmineswherethecowswereatgrass。Whilethemenweremilkingtheboyswouldtaketurnsinridingthetractablemareroundthefield。Butwhenautumncamethecowsweredrivenhomefromthegrass:
  andthefirstsightofthefilthycowyardatStradbrookwithitsfoulgreenpuddlesandclotsofliquiddungandsteamingbrantroughs,sickenedStephen'sheart。Thecattlewhichhadseemedsobeautifulinthecountryonsunnydaysrevoltedhimandhecouldnotevenlookatthemilktheyyielded。
  ThecomingofSeptemberdidnottroublehimthisyearforhewasnottobesentbacktoClongowes。ThepracticeintheparkcametoanendwhenMikeFlynnwentintohospital。Aubreywasatschoolandhadonlyanhourortwofreeintheevening。Thegangfellasunderandtherewerenomorenightlyforaysorbattlesontherocks。Stephensometimeswentroundwiththecarwhichdeliveredtheeveningmilkandthesechillydrivesblewawayhismemoryofthefilthofthecowyardandhefeltnorepugnanceatseeingthecowhairsandhayseedsonthemilkman'scoat。Wheneverthecardrewupbeforeahousehewaitedtocatchaglimpseofawellscrubbedkitchenorofasoftlylightedhallandtoseehowtheservantwouldholdthejugandhowshewouldclosethedoor。Hethoughtitshouldbeapleasantlifeenough,drivingalongtheroadseveryeveningtodelivermilk,ifhehadwarmglovesandafatbagofgingernutsinhispockettoeatfrom。Butthesameforeknowledgewhichhadsickenedhisheartandmadehislegssagsuddenlyasheracedroundthepark,thesameintuitionwhichhadmadehimglancewithmistrustathistrainer'sflabbystubble-coveredfaceasitbentheavilyoverhislongstainedfingers,dissipatedanyvisionofthefuture。InavaguewayheunderstoodthathisfatherwasintroubleandthatthiswasthereasonwhyhehimselfhadnotbeensentbacktoClongowes。
  Forsometimehehadfelttheslightchangeinhishouse;andthosechangesinwhathehaddeemedunchangeableweresomanyslightshockstohisboyishconceptionoftheworld。Theambitionwhichhefeltastirattimesinthedarknessofhissoulsoughtnooutlet。Adusklikethatoftheouterworldobscuredhismindasheheardthemare'shoofsclatteringalongthetramtrackontheRockRoadandthegreatcanswayingandrattlingbehindhim。
  HereturnedtoMercedesand,ashebroodeduponherimage,astrangeunrestcreptintohisblood。Sometimesafevergatheredwithinhimandledhimtorovealoneintheeveningalongthequietavenue。Thepeaceofthegardensandthekindlylightsinthewindowspouredatenderinfluenceintohisrestlessheart。Thenoiseofchildrenatplayannoyedhimandtheirsillyvoicesmadehimfeel,evenmorekeenlythanhehadfeltatClongowes,thathewasdifferentfromothers。Hedidnotwanttoplay。
  Hewantedtomeetintherealworldtheunsubstantialimagewhichhissoulsoconstantlybeheld。Hedidnotknowwheretoseekitorhow,butapremonitionwhichledhimontoldhimthatthisimagewould,withoutanyovertactofhis,encounterhim。Theywouldmeetquietlyasiftheyhadknowneachotherandhadmadetheirtryst,perhapsatoneofthegatesorinsomemoresecretplace。Theywouldbealone,surroundedbydarknessandsilence:
  andinthatmomentofsupremetendernesshewouldbetransfigured。
  Hewouldfadeintosomethingimpalpableunderhereyesandtheninamomenthewouldbetransfigured。Weaknessandtimidityandinexperiencewouldfallfromhiminthatmagicmoment。
  Twogreatyellowcaravanshadhaltedonemorningbeforethedoorandmenhadcometrampingintothehousetodismantleit。Thefurniturehadbeenhustledoutthroughthefrontgardenwhichwasstrewnwithwispsofstrawandropeendsandintothehugevansatthegate。Whenallhadbeensafelystowedthevanshadsetoffnoisilydowntheavenue:andfromthewindowoftherailwaycarriage,inwhichhehadsatwithhisred-eyedmother,StephenhadseenthemlumberingalongtheMerrionRoad。
  TheparlourfirewouldnotdrawthateveningandMrDedalusrestedthepokeragainstthebarsofthegratetoattracttheflame。UncleCharlesdozedinacornerofthehalffurnisheduncarpetedroomandnearhimthefamilyportraitsleanedagainstthewall。Thelamponthetableshedaweaklightovertheboardedfloor,muddiedbythefeetofthevan-men。
  Stephensatonafootstoolbesidehisfatherlisteningtoalongandincoherentmonologue。Heunderstoodlittleornothingofitatfirstbuthebecameslowlyawarethathisfatherhadenemiesandthatsomefightwasgoingtotakeplace。Hefelt,too,thathewasbeingenlistedforthefight,thatsomedutywasbeinglaiduponhisshoulders。ThesuddenflightfromthecomfortandreveryofBlackrock,thepassagethroughthegloomyfoggycity,thethoughtofthebarecheerlesshouseinwhichtheywerenowtolivemadehisheartheavy,andagainanintuition,aforeknowledgeofthefuturecametohim。Heunderstoodalsowhytheservantshadoftenwhisperedtogetherinthehallandwhyhisfatherhadoftenstoodonthehearthrugwithhisbacktothefire,talkingloudlytouncleCharleswhourgedhimtositdownandeathisdinner——
  There'sacrackofthewhipleftinmeyet,Stephen,oldchap,saidMrDedalus,pokingatthedullfirewithfierceenergy。We'renotdeadyet,sonny。No,bytheLordJesusGodforgivemenothalfdead。
  Dublinwasanewandcomplexsensation。UncleCharleshadgrownsowitlessthathecouldnolongerbesentoutonerrandsandthedisorderinsettlinginthenewhouseleftStephenfreerthanhehadbeeninBlackrock。Inthebeginninghecontentedhimselfwithcirclingtimidlyroundtheneighbouringsquareor,atmost,goinghalfwaydownoneofthesidestreetsbutwhenhehadmadeaskeletonmapofthecityinhismindhefollowedboldlyoneofitscentrallinesuntilhereachedthecustomhouse。Hepassedunchallengedamongthedocksandalongthequayswonderingatthemultitudeofcorksthatlaybobbingonthesurfaceofthewaterinathickyellowscum,atthecrowdsofquayportersandtherumblingcartsandtheill-dressedbeardedpoliceman。ThevastnessandstrangenessofthelifesuggestedtohimbythebalesofmerchandisestockedalongthewallsorswungaloftoutoftheholdsofsteamerswakenedagaininhimtheunrestwhichhadsenthimwanderingintheeveningfromgardentogardeninsearchofMercedes。AndamidthisnewbustlinglifehemighthavefanciedhimselfinanotherMarseillebutthathemissedthebrightskyandthesum-warmedtrellisesofthewineshops。
  Avaguedissatisfactiongrewupwithinhimashelookedonthequaysandontheriverandontheloweringskiesandyethecontinuedtowanderupanddowndayafterdayasifhereallysoughtsomeonethateludedhim。
  Hewentonceortwicewithhismothertovisittheirrelatives:andthoughtheypassedajovialarrayofshopslitupandadornedforChristmashismoodofembitteredsilencedidnotleavehim。Thecausesofhisembittermentweremany,remoteandnear。Hewasangrywithhimselfforbeingyoungandthepreyofrestlessfoolishimpulses,angryalsowiththechangeoffortunewhichwasreshapingtheworldabouthimintoavisionofsqualorandinsincerity。
  Yethisangerlentnothingtothevision。Hechronicledwithpatiencewhathesaw,detachinghimselffromitandtastingitsmortifyingflavourinsecret。
  Hewassittingonthebacklesschairinhisaunt'skitchen。Alampwithareflectorhungonthejapannedwallofthefireplaceandbyitslighthisauntwasreadingtheeveningpaperthatlayonherknees。Shelookedalongtimeatasmilingpicturethatwassetinitandsaidmusingly:——
  ThebeautifulMabelHunter!
  Aringlettedgirlstoodontiptoetopeeratthepictureandsaidsoftly:——
  Whatisshein,mud?——
  Inapantomime,love。
  Thechildleanedherringlettedheadagainsthermother'ssleeve,gazingonthepicture,andmurmuredasiffascinated:——
  ThebeautifulMabelHunter!
  Asiffascinated,hereyesrestedlonguponthosedemurelytauntingeyesandshemurmureddevotedly:——
  Isn'tsheanexquisitecreature?
  Andtheboywhocameinfromthestreet,stampingcrookedlyunderhisstoneofcoal,heardherwords。Hedroppedhisloadpromptlyonthefloorandhurriedtohersidetosee。Hemauledtheedgesofthepaperwithhisreddenedandblackenedhands,shoulderingherasideandcomplainingthathecouldnotsee。
  Hewassittinginthenarrowbreakfastroomhighupintheolddark-windowedhouse。Thefirelightflickeredonthewallandbeyondthewindowaspectralduskwasgatheringupontheriver。Beforethefireanoldwomanwasbusymakingteaand,asshebustledatthetask,shetoldinalowvoiceofwhatthepriestandthedoctorhadsaid。Shetoldtooofcertainchangestheyhadseeninheroflateandofheroddwaysandsayings。Hesatlisteningtothewordsandfollowingthewaysofadventurethatlayopeninthecoals,archesandvaultsandwindinggalleriesandjaggedcaverns。
  Suddenlyhebecameawareofsomethinginthedoorway。Askullappearedsuspendedinthegloomofthedoorway。Afeeblecreaturelikeamonkeywasthere,drawnthitherbythesoundofvoicesatthefire。Awhiningvoicecamefromthedoorasking:——
  IsthatJosephine?
  Theoldbustlingwomanansweredcheerilyfromthefireplace:——
  No,Ellen,it'sStephen——
  OO,goodevening,Stephen。
  Heansweredthegreetingandsawasillysmilebreakoverthefaceinthedoorway——
  Doyouwantanything,Ellen?askedtheoldwomanatthefire。
  Butshedidnotanswerthequestionandsaid:——
  IthoughtitwasJosephine。IthoughtyouwereJosephine,Stephen。
  And,repeatingthisseveraltimes,shefelltolaughingfeebly。
  Hewassittinginthemidstofachildren'spartyatHarold'sCross。
  Hissilentwatchfulmannerhadgrownuponhimandhetooklittlepartinthegames。Thechildren,wearingthespoilsoftheircrackers,dancedandrompednoisilyand,thoughhetriedtosharetheirmerriment,hefelthimselfagloomyfigureamidthegaycockedhatsandsunbonnets。
  Butwhenhehadsunghissongandwithdrawnintoasnugcorneroftheroomhebegantotastethejoyofhisloneliness。Themirth,whichinthebeginningoftheeveninghadseemedtohimfalseandtrivial,waslikeasoothingairtohim,passinggailybyhissenses,hidingfromothereyesthefeverishagitationofhisbloodwhilethroughthecirclingofthedancersandamidthemusicandlaughterherglancetravelledtohiscorner,flattering,taunting,searching,excitinghisheart。
  Inthehallthechildrenwhohadstayedlatestwereputtingontheirthings:thepartywasover。Shehadthrownashawlaboutherand,astheywenttogethertowardsthetram,spraysofherfreshwarmbreathflewgailyabovehercowledheadandhershoestappedblithelyontheglassyroad。
  Itwasthelasttram。Thelankbrownhorsesknewitandshooktheirbellstotheclearnightinadmonition。Theconductortalkedwiththedriver,bothnoddingofteninthegreenlightofthelamp。Ontheemptyseatsofthetramwerescatteredafewcolouredtickets。Nosoundoffootstepscameupordowntheroad。Nosoundbrokethepeaceofthenightsavewhenthelankbrownhorsesrubbedtheirnosestogetherandshooktheirbells。
  Theyseemedtolisten,heontheupperstepandsheonthelower。Shecameuptohisstepmanytimesandwentdowntohersagainbetweentheirphrasesandonceortwicestoodclosebesidehimforsomemomentsontheupperstep,forgettingtogodown,andthenwentdown。Hisheartdanceduponhermovementslikeacorkuponatide。Heheardwhathereyessaidtohimfrombeneaththeircowlandknewthatinsomedimpast,whetherinlifeorrevery,hehadheardtheirtalebefore。Hesawherurgehervanities,herfinedressandsashandlongblackstockings,andknewthathehadyieldedtothemathousandtimes。Yetavoicewithinhimspokeabovethenoiseofhisdancingheart,askinghimwouldhetakehergifttowhichhehadonlytostretchouthishand。AndherememberedthedaywhenheandEileenhadstoodlookingintothehotelgrounds,watchingthewaitersrunningupatrailofbuntingontheflagstaffandthefoxterrierscamperingtoandfroonthesunnylawnandhow,allofasudden,shehadbrokenoutintoapealoflaughterandhadrundowntheslopingcurveofthepath。
  Now,asthen,hestoodlistlesslyinhisplace,seeminglyatranquilwatcherofthescenebeforehim——
  Shetoowantsmetocatchholdofher,hethought。That'swhyshecamewithmetothetram。IcouldeasilycatchholdOfherwhenshecomesuptomystep:nobodyislooking。Icouldholdherandkissher。
  Buthedidneither:and,whenhewassittingaloneinthedesertedtram,hetorehisticketintoshredsandstaredgloomilyatthecorrugatedfootboard。
  Thenextdayhesatathistableinthebareupperroomformanyhours。
  Beforehimlayanewpen,anewbottleofinkandanewemeraldexercise。
  Fromforceofhabithehadwrittenatthetopofthefirstpagetheinitiallettersofthejesuitmotto:A。M。D。G。Onthefirstlineofthepageappearedthetitleoftheverseshewastryingtowrite:ToE-C。HeknewitwasrighttobeginsoforhehadseensimilartitlesinthecollectedpoemsofLordByron。Whenhehadwrittenthistitleanddrawnanornamentallineunderneathhefellintoadaydreamandbegantodrawdiagramsonthecoverofthebook。HesawhimselfsittingathistableinBraythemorningafterthediscussionattheChristmasdinnertable,tryingtowriteapoemaboutParnellonthebackofoneofhisfather'ssecondmoietynotices。Buthisbrainhadthenrefusedtograpplewiththethemeand,desisting,hehadcoveredthepagewiththenamesandaddressesofcertainofhisclassmates:RoderickKickhamJohnLawtonAnthonyMacSwineySimonMoonanNowitseemedasifhewouldfailagainbut,bydintofbroodingontheincident,hethoughthimselfintoconfidence。Duringthisprocessallthoseelementswhichhedeemedcommonandinsignificantfelloutofthescene。
  Thereremainednotraceofthetramitselfnorofthetram-mennorofthehorses:nordidheandsheappearvividly。Theversestoldonlyofthenightandthebalmybreezeandthemaidenlustreofthemoon。Someundefinedsorrowwashiddenintheheartsoftheprotagonistsastheystoodinsilencebeneaththeleaflesstreesandwhenthemomentoffarewellhadcomethekiss,whichhadbeenwithheldbyone,wasgivenbyboth。AfterthisthelettersL。D。S。werewrittenatthefootofthepage,and,havinghiddenthebook,hewentintohismother'sbedroomandgazedathisfaceforalongtimeinthemirrorofherdressing-table。
  Buthislongspellofleisureandlibertywasdrawingtoitsend。Oneeveninghisfathercamehomefullofnewswhichkepthistonguebusyallthroughdinner。Stephenhadbeenawaitinghisfather'sreturnfortherehadbeenmuttonhashthatdayandheknewthathisfatherwouldmakehimdiphisbreadinthegravy。ButhedidnotrelishthehashforthementionofClongoweshadcoatedhispalatewithascumofdisgust——
  Iwalkedbangintohim,saidMrDedalusforthefourthtime,justatthecornerofthesquare——
  ThenIsuppose,saidMrsDedalus,hewillbeabletoarrangeit。
  ImeanaboutBelvedere——
  Ofcoursehewill,saidMrDedalus。Don'tItellyouhe'sprovincialoftheordernow?——
  Ineverlikedtheideaofsendinghimtothechristianbrothersmyself,saidMrsDedalus——
  Christianbrothersbedamned!saidMrDedalus。IsitwithPaddyStinkandMickyMud?No,lethimsticktothejesuitsinGod'snamesincehebeganwiththem。They'llbeofservicetohiminafteryears。Thosearethefellowsthatcangetyouaposition——
  Andthey'reaveryrichorder,aren'tthey,Simon?——
  Rather。Theylivewell,Itellyou。YousawtheirtableatClongowes。
  Fedup,byGod,likegamecocks。
  MrDedaluspushedhisplateovertoStephenandbadehimfinishwhatwasonit——
  Nowthen,Stephen,hesaid,youmustputyourshouldertothewheel,oldchap。You'vehadafinelongholiday——
  O,I'msurehe'llworkveryhardnow,saidMrsDedalus,especiallywhenhehasMauricewithhim——
  O,HolyPaul,IforgotaboutMaurice,saidMrDedalus。Here,Maurice!
  Comehere,youthick-headedruffian!DoyouknowI'mgoingtosendyoutoacollegewherethey'llteachyoutospellc。a。t。cat。AndI'llbuyyouanicelittlepennyhandkerchieftokeepyournosedry。Won'tthatbegrandfun?
  Mauricegrinnedathisfatherandthenathisbrother。
  MrDedalusscrewedhisglassintohiseyeandstaredhardatbothhissons。Stephenmumbledhisbreadwithoutansweringhisfather'sgaze——
  Bythebye,saidMrDedalusatlength,therector,orprovincialrather,wastellingmethatstoryaboutyouandFatherDolan。You'reanimpudentthief,hesaid——
  O,hedidn't,Simon!——
  Nothe!saidMrDedalus。Buthegavemeagreataccountofthewholeaffair。Wewerechatting,youknow,andonewordborrowedanother。And,bytheway,whodoyouthinkhetoldmewillgetthatjobinthecorporation?
  ButI`Iltellyouthatafter。Well,asIwassaying,wewerechattingawayquitefriendlyandheaskedmedidourfriendherewearglassesstill,andthenhetoldmethewholestory——
  Andwasheannoyed,Simon?——
  Annoyed?Nothe!Manlylittlechap!hesaid。
  MrDedalusimitatedthemincingnasaltoneoftheprovincial。
  FatherDolanandI,whenItoldthemallatdinneraboutit,FatherDolanandIhadagreatlaughoverit。YoubettermindyourselfFatherDolan,saidI,oryoungDedaluswillsendyouupfortwicenine。