首页 >出版文学> A Mountain Woman>第4章
  minginblackmolassesandporkgravy。
  Hendersonlookedatitamoment;thenoverhisfacecamealookofutterdespair。
  Hedroppedhisheadinhisarmsandbrokeintouncontrolledcrying。
  "Oh,myGod,Gillispie,"hesobbed,"I
  shalldieouthereinthiswretchedhole!I
  wantmymother。GreatGod,Gillispie,amIgoingtodiewithouteverseeingmymother?"
  Gillispie,maddenedatthisanguish,whichhecouldinnowayalleviate,soughtcomfortbyfirstlightinghispipeandthentakinghisrevolveroutofhiship-pocketandplayingwithit。Hendersoncontinuedtoshakewithsobs,andCatherine,whohadneverbeforeinherlifeheardamancry,leanedagainstthedoorforamomenttogathercourage。
  Thensheranintothehousequickly,laugh-
  ingasshecame。ShetookHenderson'sarmsawayfromhisfaceandlaidhimbackonthepillow,andshestoopedoverhimandkissedhisforeheadinthemostmatter-
  of-factway。
  "That'swhatyourmotherwoulddoifshewerehere,"shecried,merrily。"Where'sthewater?"
  Shewashedhisfaceandhandsalongtime,tilltheywerecoolandhisconvulsivesobshadceased。Thenshetookasliceofthinbreadfromherbasketandaspoonfulofamberjelly。Shebeataneggintosomemilkanddroppedalittleliquorwithinit,andservedthemtogetheronthefirstcleannapkinthathadbeeninthecabinofthethreeJohnssinceitwasbuiltAtthisthegreatfoolonthebedcriedagain,onlyquietly,tearsofweakhappi-
  nessrunningfromhisfeverisheyes。AndCatherinestraightenedthedisorderlycabin。
  Shecameeverydayfortwoweeks,andbythattimeHenderson,veryuncertainastothestrengthofhislegs,butoncemoreaccoutredinhisnativepluck,satupinachair,forwhichshehadmadecleansoftcushions,writingalettertohismother。Thefloorwasscrubbed;thecabinhadtakentoitselfcupboardsmadeofpacking-boxes;ithadclothes-pressesandshelves;curtainsatthewindows;boxesforallsortofnecessaries,fromflourtotobacco;andacook-bookonthewall,withaninscriptionwithinwhichwasmoreappropriatethanrespectful。
  Thedaythatsheannouncedthatshewouldhavenofurthercalltocomeback,Waite,whowaslookingafterthehousewhileGillispiewasafield,madealittlespeech。
  "Afterthishere,"hesaid,"wefourstandserfallstogether。Nowlookhere,there'slotsofthingscanhappentoapersononthiscussedpraira,andnoonebenoneth'wiser。Soseehere,Mis'Ford,everynightoneofusisa-goin'toth'roofofthisshack。Fromtherewecanseeyourplace。
  Ifanythingisth'matter——itdon'tsignifyhowlittleerhowbig——youhangalanternonth'stickthatI'llputalongsideth'houseto-morrow。Yehcanh'istth'lightupwithastring,andeverymornin'beforewegooutwe'lllooktoo,andawhiterag'llbringusquickaswecangitthere。Wedon'tsaynothin'aboutwhatweoweyeh,furthatain'tourway,butwestickstoeachotherfromthison。”
  Catherine'seyesweremoist。ShelookedatHenderson。Hisfacehadnoexpressioninitatall。Hedidnotevensaygood-bytoher,andsheturned,withthetearssud-
  denlydriedunderherlids,andwalkeddowntheroadinthetwilight。
  Weekswentby,andthoughGillispieandWaitewereoftenatCatherine's,Hendersonnevercame。GillispiegaveitoutashisopinionthatHendersonwasanungratefulpuppy;butWaitesaidnothing。Thisstrangeman,whoseemedlikeamereunto-
  wardaccidentofnature,hadchangeddur-
  ingthesummer。Hisbigill-shapedbodyhadgrownmoregaunt;hisdeep-setgrayeyeshadsunkdeeper;thegentlenesswhichhaddistinguishedhimevenonthewildrangesofMontanabecamemoremarked。
  LateinAugusthevolunteeredtotakeonhimselftheentirechargeofthenightwatch。
  "It'snicertobeoutatnight,"hesaidtoCatherine。"Thenyoudon'tkeeplook-
  ingoffatthings;youcanlookinside;"andhestruckhisbreastwithhissplayhand。
  Cattlearetimorousunderthestars。Thevastnessoftheplains,thesweepofthewindundertheunbrokenarch,frightenthem;
  theyaremadefortheclosecomfortsofthebarn-yard;andtheapprehensioniscon-
  tagious,aseveryranchmanknows。Waiterealizedtheneedofbecominggoodfriendswithhisanimals。Nightafternight,ridingupanddowninthetwilightofthestars,ordozing,rolledinhisblanket,intheshelterofaknoll,hewouldhearalowroar;itwasthecryofthealarmist。Thenfromeverydirectionthecattlewouldrisewithtremblingawkwardnessontheirknees,andanswer,givingoutsullenbellowings。Someofthemwouldbegintomovefromplacetoplace,spreadingthebaselessalarm,andthencamethetimeforaction,elseovertheplaininmerefruitlessfrenzywouldgothewholefranticband,lashedtomadnessbytheirownfears,tramplingeachother,heed-
  lessofanyobstacle,inpitiable,deadlyrout。
  Waiteknewthepremonitorysignswell,andatthefirstwarningbellowhewasonhisfeet,alertanddetermined,hisenergynervedforastruggleinwhichhealwaysconquered。
  Waitehadasecretwhichhetoldtonone,knowing,inhisunanalyticalfashion,thatitwouldnotbebelievedin。Butsoonaseverthedarkheadsofthecattlebegantoliftthemselves,hesentaresonantvoiceoutintothestillness。Thesongshesangwerehymns,andhemadethemintoasortofimperativelullaby。Waitelethislungsandsoulfillwiththebreathofthenight;
  hegavehimselfuptotheexaltationofmasteringthosetremblingbrutes。Mount-
  ing,melodious,withevenandpowerfulswinghelethisfullnotesfallontheairintheconfidenceofpower,andonebyonethereassuredcattlewouldliedownagain,lowinginsoftcontentment,andsofallasleepwithnosesstretchedoutinmuteattention,tilltheirpresencecouldhardlybeguessedexceptforthesweetaromaoftheircuds。
  Onenightintheearlydusk,hesawCath-
  erineFordhasteningacrosstheprairiewithBillDeems。Hesentahallooouttothem,whichtheybothansweredastheyranon。
  WaiteknewonwhaterrandofmercyCath-
  erinewasbent,andhethoughtofthechil-
  drenoveratthecabinalone。Thecattlewerequiet,thenightbeautiful,andhecon-
  cludedthatitwassafeenough,sincehewasonhispony,toridedownthereaboutmid-
  nightandseethatthelittleonesweresafe。
  Thedarksky,prickedwithpointsofin-
  tensestlight,hungoverhimsobeneficentlythatinhisheartthereleapedajoywhichevenhisever-presentsorrowcouldnotdis-
  turb。ThissorrowWaiteopenlyadmittednotonlytohimself,buttoothers。HehadsaidtoCatherine:"Yousee,I'llalwayshevtoloveyeh。An'yeh'llnotgitcrosswithme;I'mnotgoin'tobeinth'way。”AndCatherinehadtoldhim,withtearsinhereyes,thathislovecouldneverbebutacom-
  forttoanywoman。Andthesewords,whichthepoorfellowhadinnosensemistaken,comfortedhimalways,becamepartofhisjoyasherodethere,underthosepiercingstars,tolookafterherlittleones。Hefoundthemsleepingintheirbunks,thebabytightinKitty'sarms,thelittleboyabovethemintheupperbunk,withhishandinthelonghairofhisbrownspaniel。Waitesoftlykissedeachofthem,soKitty,whowashalfwaking,toldhermotherafterwards,andthen,bethinkinghimthatCatherinemightnotbeabletoreturnintimefortheirbreak-
  fast,foundthemilkandbread,andsetitforthemonthetable。Catherinehadbeenwriting,andherunfinishedletterlayopenbesidetheink。Hetookupthepenandwrote,"Thechilddrenwasallasleepattwelv。
  "J。W。”
  Hehadnotmorethangotonhisponyagainbeforeheheardanominoussoundthatmadehisheartleap。Itwasafranticdullpoundingofhoofs。Heknewinasecondwhatitmeant。Therewasastam-
  pedeamongthecattle。Iftheanimalshadallbeenhis,hewouldnothavelosthissenseofjudgment。Buttherealizationthathehadvoluntarilyundertakenthecareofthem,andthatthelargerpartofthembelongedtohisfriends,puthiminapassionofappre-
  hensionthat,asaranchman,wasalmostin-
  explicable。Hedidtheverythingofallothersthatnocattle-maninhisrightsenseswouldthinkofdoing。GillispieandHender-
  son,talkingitoverafterward,wereneverabletounderstandit。Itispossible——justbarelypossible——thatWaite,stilldrunkonhissolitarydreams,knewwhathewasdoing,andchosetobringhislittlechaptertoanendwhilethelineswerepleasant。Atanyrate,herodestraightforward,shoutingandwavinghisarmsinaninsaneendeavortoheadoffthatfranticmob。Thenoisewokethechildren,andtheypeeredfromthewindowasthepawingandbellowingherdplungedby,tramplingtheyoungsteersundertheirfeet。
  Intheearlymorning,CatherineFord,spentbothinmindandbody,camewalkingslowlyhome。Inherheartwasaprayerofthanks-
  giving。MaryDeemslaysleepingbackinhercomfortlessshack,withherlittlesonbyherside。
  "ThewonderofGodisinit,"saidCath-
  erinetoherselfasshewalkedhome。"AlltheministersofalltheworldcouldnothavepreachedmesuchasermonasI'vehadto-night。”
  Sodimhadbeenthelightandsoper-
  turbedhermindthatshehadnotnoticedhowtornandtrampledwastheroad。Butsuddenlyabulkinherpathwaystartledher。
  Itwasthedeadandmangledbodyofasteer。
  Shestoopedoverittoreadthebrandonitsflank。"It'soneofthethreeJohns',"shecriedout,lookinganxiouslyabouther。
  "Howcouldthathavehappened?"
  Thedirectionwhichthecattlehadtakenwastowardherhouse,andshehastenedhomeward。AndnotaquarterofamilefromherdoorshefoundthebodyofWaitebesidethatofhispony,crushedoutofitsfamiliarformintosomethingunspeakablyshapeless。Inherexcitementshehalfdragged,halfcarriedthatmutilatedbodyhome,andthenranuphersignalofalarmonthestickthatWaitehimselfhaderectedforherconvenience。Shethoughtitwouldbealongtimebeforeanyonereachedher,butshehadhardlyhadtimetobathethedisfiguredfaceandstraightenthedisfiguredbodybeforeHendersonwaspoundingatherdoor。Outsidestoodhisponypantingfromitsterrificexertions。Hendersonhadnotseenherbeforeforsixweeks。Nowhestaredatherwithfrightenedeyes。
  "Whatisit?Whatisit?"hecried。
  "Whathashappenedtoyou,my——mylove?"
  Atleastafterward,thinkingitoverassheworkedbydayortossedinhernarrowbunkatnight,itseemedtoCatherinethatthosewerethewordshespoke。Yetshecouldneverfeelsure;nothinginhismannerafterthatjustifiedtheimpassionedanxietyofhismannerinthosefirstfewuncertainmoments;
  forasecondlaterhesawthebodyofhisfriendandlearnedthelittlethatCatherineknew。Theyburiedhimthenextdayinalittlehollowwheretherewasaspringandsomewildaspens。
  "Heneverlikedtheprairie,"Catherinesaid,whensheselectedthespot。"AndI
  wanthimtolieasshelteredaspossible。”
  Afterhehadbeenlaidatrest,andshewasback,busywithtidyingherneglectedshack,shefelltocryingsothatthechildrenwerescared。
  "There'snoonelefttocarewhatbecomesofus,"shetoldthem,bitterly。"Wemightstarveouthereforallthatanyonecares。”
  Andallthroughthenighthertearsfell,andshetoldherselfthattheywereallforthemanwhoselastthoughtwasforherandherbabies;shetoldherselfoverandoveragainthathertearswereallforhim。Afterthistheautumnbegantohurryon,andthesnowfellcapriciously,daysofbitingcoldgivingplacetoretrospectiveglancesatsummer。
  Thelastofthevegetablesweretakenoutofthegardenandburiedinthecellar;andafewtonsofcoal——dearalmostasdiamonds——werebroughtouttoprovideagainsttheseverestweather。Ordinarilybuffalochipswerethefuel。Catherinewasalarmedatthewayherwretchedlittlestoreofmoneybegantovanish。Thebabywasfretfulwithitsteething,andwasreallymorecarethanwhenshenursedit。Thedaysshortened,anditseemedtoherthatshewasforeverworkingbylamp-lightTheprairieswerebrownandforbidding,theskyoftenameregraypall。Themonotonyofthelifebegantoseemterrible。Sometimesherearsachedforasound。Foratimeinthesummersomanyhadseemedtoneedherthatshehadbeenhappyinspiteofherpovertyandherloneliness。Now,suddenly,noonewantedher。Shecouldfindnosourceofinspiration。
  Shewonderedhowshewasgoingtolivethroughthewinter,andkeepherpatienceandhergood-nature。
  "You'llloveme,"shesaid,almostfiercely,onenighttothechildren——"you'lllovemamma,nomatterhowcrossandhomelyshegets,won'tyou?"
  Thecoldgrewdaybyday。Astrongwinterwassettingin。Catherinetookupherstudyofmedicineagain,andsatoverherbookstillmidnight。Itoccurredtoherthatshemightfitherselffornursingbyspring,andthatthechildrencouldbeputwithsomeone——shedidnotdaretothinkwithwhom。Butthiswastheonlysolutionshecouldfindtoherproblemofexistence。
  Novembersettleddowndrearily。Fewpassedtheshack。Catherine,whohadnoonetospeakwithexceptingthechildren,continuallydevisedamusementsforthem。
  Theygottolivinginaworldoffantasy,andwereneverthemselves,butalwayswildIndians,orarcticexplorers,orRobinsonCrusoes。KittyandRoderick,youngastheywere,foundanever-endingsourceofamusementintheselittlegrotesquedreamsanddramas。Thefundofmoneywasget-
  tingsolowthatCatherinewasobligedtoeconomizeeveninthenecessities。Ifithadnotbeenforhertwocows,shewouldhardlyhaveknownhowtofindfoodforherlittleones。Butshehadawonderfulwayofmak-
  ingthingswitheggsandmilk,andshekeptherlittletablealwaysinviting。ThedaybeforeThanksgivingshedeterminedthattheyshouldallhaveafrolic。
  "ByChristmas,"shesaidtoKitty,"thesnowmaybesobadthatIcannotgettotown。We'llhaveourhigholdtimenow。”
  ThereisnodenyingthatCatherineusedslangevenintalkingtothechildren。Thelittleponyhadbeensoldlongago,andgoingtotownmeantawalkoftwelvemiles。
  ButCatherinestartedoutearlyinthemorning,andwasbackbynightfall,notsoverymuchtheworse,andcarryinginherarmsbundleswhichmighthavefatiguedabronco。
  Thenextmorningshewasupearly,andwasashappyandridiculouslyexcitedovertheprospectoftheday'smerrymakingasifshehadbeenKitty。Busyasshewas,shenoticedapeculiaroppressionintheair,whichintensifiedasthedaywenton。Theskyseemedtohangbutalittlewayabovetherollingstretchoffrost-bittengrass。ButKittylaughingoverhernewdoll,Roderickstartlingthesullensilencewithhisdrum,thesmellofthechicken,slaughteredtomakeaprairieholiday,browningintheoven,droveallapprehensionsfromCath-
  erine'smind。Shewasacommoncreature。
  Suchverylittlethingscouldmakeherhappy。
  Shesangassheworked;andwhatwiththedrummingofherboy,andthelittleexultingshrieksofherbaby,theshackwasfilledwithadeafeningandexhilaratingdin。
  Itwasalittlepastnoon,whenshebecameconsciousthattherewassweepingdownonheragraysheetofsnowandice,andnottillthendidsherealizewhatthoseloweringcloudshadsignified。Foronemomentshestoodhalfparalyzed。Shethoughtofevery-
  thing,——ofthecattle,ofthechanceforbeingburiedinthisdrift,ofthestockofprovi-
  sions,ofthepowerofenduranceofthechildren。Whileshewasstillthinking,thefirstice-needlesoftheblizzardcamepepper-
  ingthewindows。Thecattleranbellowingtotheleesideofthehouseandcrouchedthere,andthechickensscurriedforthecoop。
  Catherineseizedsuchblanketsandbitsofcarpetasshecouldfind,andcrammedthematwindowsanddoors。Thenshepiledcoalonthefire,andclothedthechildreninalltheyhadthatwaswarmest,theirout-doorgar-
  mentsincluded;andwiththemcloseabouther,shesatandwaited。Thewindseemedtopushsteadilyatthewallsofthehouse。
  Thehowlingbecamehorrible。Shecouldseethatthechildrenwerecryingwithfright,butshecouldnothearthem。Theairwasdusky;thecold,inspiteofthefire,intol-
  erable。Ineverycreviceofthewretchedstructuretheiceandsnowmadetheirway。
  Itcamethroughtheroof,andbeganpilingupinlittlepointedstripsunderthecrevices。
  Catherineputthechildrenalltogetherinonebunk,coveredthemwithallthebed-
  clothesshehad,andthenstoodbeforethemdefiantly,facingthewest,fromwhencethewindwasdriving。Notsuddenly,butbysteadypressure,atlengththewindow-sashyielded,andthenextmomentthatwhirlwindwasinthehouse,——amaddeningtumultoficeandwind,leavingnoroomforresistance;
  akillingcold,againstwhichitwasfutiletofight。Catherinethrewthebedclothesovertheheadsofthechildren,andthenthrewherselfacrossthebunk,gaspingandchok-
  ingforbreath。Herbodywouldnothaveyieldedtothesufferingyet,sostronglymadeandsustainedwasit;butherdismaystifledher。Shesawinonehorrifiedmomentthefrozenformsofherbabies,nowsopinkandpleasanttothesense;andoblivioncametosaveherfromfurthermisery。
  Shewasalive——justbarelyalive——whenGillispieandHendersongotthere,threehourslater,theveryballsoftheireyesalmostfrozenintoblindness。Butforaninstinctstrongerthanreasontheywouldneverhavebeenabletohavefoundtheirwayacrossthattracklessstretch。Thechil-
  drenlyingunconsciousundertheircoveringswereneitherdeadnoractuallyfrozen,al-
  thoughthemenputtingtheirhandsontheirlittleheartscouldnotatfirstdiscoverthebeating。Stiffandsufferingastheseyoungfellowswere,itwasnoeasymattertogetthewindowbackintoplaceandre-lightthefire。Theyhadtiedflasksofliquorabouttheirwaists;andthisbeneficentfluidtheyusedwiththatsenseofappreciationwhichonlyapioneercanfeeltowardwhiskey。ItwashoursbeforeCatherinerewardedthemwithagleamofconsciousness。Herbodyhadbeenfrozeninmanyplaces。Herarms,outstretchedoverherchildrenandholdingtheclothesdownaboutthem,wererigid。
  Butconsciousnesscameatlength,dimlystrugglingupthroughherbrain;andoverhershesawherfriendsrubbingandrubbingthosestrongfirmarmsofherswithsnow。
  Shehalfraisedherhead,withahorrorofcomprehensioninhereyes,andlistened。A
  cryansweredher,——acryofdullpainfromthebaby。Hendersondroppedonhiskneesbesideher。
  "Theyareallsafe,"hesaid。"Andwewillneverleaveyouagain。IhavebeenafraidtotellyouhowIloveyou。IthoughtImightoffendyou。IthoughtIoughttowait——youknowwhy。ButIwillneverletyouruntherisksofthisawfullifealoneagain。Youmustrenamethebaby。FromthisdayhisnameisJohn。AndwewillhavethethreeJohnsagainbackattheoldranch。Itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoulovemeornot,Catherine,Iamgoingtotakecareofyoujustthesame。Gillispieagreeswithme。”
  "Damme,yes,"mutteredGillispie,feelingofhiship-pocketforconsolationinhisoldmanner。
  Catherinestruggledtofindhervoice,butitwouldnotcome。
  "Donotspeak,"whisperedJohn。"Tellmewithyoureyeswhetheryouwillcomeasmywifeoronlyasoursister。”
  Catherinetoldhim。
  "ThisisThanksgivingday,"saidhe。
  "Andwedon'tknowmuchaboutpraying,butIguessweallhavesomethinginourheartsthatdoesjustaswell。”
  "Damme,yes,"saidGillispie,again,ashepensivelycockedanduncockedhisre-
  volver。
  AResuscitationAFTERbeingdeadtwentyyears,hewalkedoutintothesunshine。
  Itwasasifthebonesofableachedskele-
  tonshouldjointhemselvesonsomeforgottenplain,andlookaboutthemforthevanishedflesh。
  Tobedeaditisnotnecessarytobeinthegrave。Thereareplaceswherethewormscreepabouttheheartinsteadofthebody。
  Thepenitentiaryisoneofthese。
  DavidCulrosshadbeeninthepenitentiarytwentyyears。Now,withthatworm-eatenheart,hecameoutintolibertyandlookedabouthimforthehabilimentswithwhichhehadformerlyclothedhimself,——forhope,self-respect,courage,pugnacity,andindustry。
  Buttheyhadvanishedandleftnotrace,likethefleshofthedeadmenontheplains,andso,morallyunapparelled,inthehideousskeletonofhismanhood,hewalkedondownthestreetunderthemid-Junesunshine。
  Youcanunderstand,canyounot,howaskeletonmightwishtogetbackintoitscomfortablegrave?DavidCulrosshadnotwalkedtwoblocksbeforehewasseizedwithanalmostuncontrollabledesiretobegtobeshieldedoncemoreinthatsafeandshamefulretreatfromwhichhehadjustbeenreleased。Ahorribleperceptionofthelargenessoftheworldsweptoverhim。
  Spaceandeternitycouldseemnolargertotheusualmanthanearth——thatsnugandinsignificantplanet——lookedtoDavidCulross。
  "IfIgoback,"hecried,despairingly,lookinguptothegreatbuildingthataroseabovethestonyhills,"theywillnottakemein。”Hewasabsolutelywithoutarefuge,utterlywithoutadestination;hedidnothaveahope。Therewasnothinghedesiredexceptthesurroundingofthosefournarrowwallsbetweenwhichhehadlainatnightanddreamedthoseever-recurringdreams,——
  dreamswhichwereneverpropheciesorpromises,butalwaysthehackneyedhistoryofwhathehadsacrificedbyhiscrime,andrelinquishedbyhispride。
  Themenwhopassedhimlookedathimwithmingledamusementandpity。Theyknewthe"prisonlook,"andtheyknewtheprisonclothes。ForthoughtheStategivestoitsdischargedconvictsclotheswhicharelikethoseofothermen,itmakesahundredsuitsfromthesamesortofcloth。Thepoliceknowthefabric,andeventhecitizensrecognizeit。But,then,wereeachmandressedindifferentgarbhecouldnotbedisguised。Everyoneknowsinwhatdullschoolthatsidelongglanceislearned,thataimlessdroopingoftheshoulders,thatrhythmicliftingoftheheavyfoot。
  DavidCulrosswonderedifhiswillweredead。Heputittothetest。Helifteduphisheadtoapositionwhichithadnotheldformanymiserableyears。Heputhishandsinhispocketsinapitifulattemptatnon-
  chalance,andwalkeddownthestreetwithastepwhichwasmeanttobebrisk,butwhichwasinfactonlyuncertain。Inhispocketweretendollars。ThismuchtheStateequipsamanwithwhenitsendshimoutofitspenalhalls。Itgiveshimalsotransportationtoanypointwithinreasonabledistancethathemaydesiretoreach。Cul-
  rosshadrequestedatickettoChicago。HenaturallysaidChicago。Inthelongcolor-
  lessdaysithadbeeninChicagothatallthoseendlesslyrepeatedsceneshadbeenlaid。Walkingupthestreetnowwiththatwaveringineffectualgait,thesescenescamebacktosurgeinhisbrainlikewaterscease-
  lesslytossedinawind-sweptbasin。
  Therewastheoffice,bareandclean,wheretheyoungstoop-shoulderedclerkssatwrit-
  ing。Intheirfaceswasastrangeresem-
  blance,justastherewasinthebacksoftheledgers,andintheendlessbillsonthespindles。Ifoneofthemlaughed,itwasnotwithgayety,butwithgratificationatthediscomfitureofanother。Noneofthematewell。Noneofthemwererestedaftersleep。Allofthemrodeonthestuffyone-
  horsecarstoandfromtheirwork。Sun-
  daystheylayinbedverylate,andatemoredinnerthantheycoulddigest。Therewasacertainfellowshipamongthem,——suchfel-
  lowshipasabandofcaptivesamongcanni-
  balsmightfeel,eachofthemwaitingwithvitalcuriositytoseewhowasthenexttobeeaten。Butofthatfellowshipthatplansinunison,suffersinsympathy,enjoysvicari-
  ously,strengthensintofriendshipandcom-
  munionofsoultheyknewnothing。Indeed,suchcamaraderiewouldhavebeendisap-
  provedofbytheHeadClerk。Hewouldhavelookedonanemotionwithexactlythesamedispleasurethathewouldonanerrorinthefootingoftheyear'saccounts。ItwastacitlyunderstoodthatonereachedtheproudpositionofHeadClerkbyhavingnoemotionswhatever。
  Culrossdidnotrememberhavingbeenbornwithapeninhishand,orevenwithonebehindhisear;butcertainlyfromthedayhehadbeenletoutofknickerbockershiscon-
  stantcompanionhadbeenthatgreatlyover-
  estimatedarticle。HisfatherdyingatatimethatcutshortDavid'sschool-days,hewentoutarmedwithhisnewknowledgeofdouble-
  entry,determinedtomakeafortuneandacommercialname。Meantime,helivedinasuiteofthreeroomsonWestMadisonStreetwithhismother,whowasagoodwoman,andlivedwhereshedidthatshemightbenearherfavoritemeeting-house。Sheprayed,andcookedbaddinners,principallycomposedofdispiritingpastry。Herideaofhouse-keepingwastokeeptheshadesdown,whateverhappened;andwhenDavidlefthomeintheeveningforanypurposeofpleasure,shewept。Davidpersuadedhim-
  selfthathedespisedamusement,andwenttobedeachnightathalf-pastnineinafoldingbedsteadinthefrontroom,and,bybecomingabsolutelystolidfrommerevege-
  tation,imaginedthathewasalmostfittobeaHeadClerk。
  Walkingdownthestreetnowafterthetwentyyears,thinkingofthesedeadbutinno-
  centdays,thiswasthepicturehesaw;andashereflecteduponit,eventhedespoiledanddesolateyearsjustpassedseemedricherbycontrast。
  Hereachedthestationthusdreaming,andfound,ashehadbeentoldwhenthewardenbadehimgood-by,thatatrainwastobeathanddirectlyboundtothecity。Afewmomentslaterhewasonthattrain。Wellbackintheshadow,andoutofsightoftheotherpassengers,hegavehimselfuptotheenjoymentofthecomfortablecushion。Hewouldwillinglyhavelookedfromthewin-
  dow,——greenfieldswerenewandwonderful;
  driftingcloudsamarvel;men,houses,horses,farms,allarevelation,——butthosehauntingvisionswereathimagain,andwouldnotleavebrainoreyefreeforotherthings。
  Butthenextscenehadwarmertints。Itwastheinteriorofarichroom,——crimsonandamberfabrics,flowers,thegleamofastatuebeyondthedrapings;thesoundofatenderpianounflingingafamiliarmelody,andawoman。Shewasjustapartofalltheluxury。
  Hehimself,verytimidandconsciousofhisawkwardness,satnear,tryingbarrenlytogetsomeofhisthoughtsoutofhisbrainontohistongue。
  "Strange,isn'tit,"thewomanbrokeinonherownmusic,"thatwehaveseeneachothersoveryoftenandneverspoken?I'veoftenthoughtintroductionswereridiculous。
  Fancyseeingapersonyearinandyearout,andreallyknowingallabouthim,andbeingperfectlyacquaintedwithhisname——atleasthisorhername,youknow——andthenneverspeaking!Someonecomesalong,andsays,'MissLeBaron,thisisMr。
  Culross,'justasifonedidn'tknowthatallthetime!Andthereyouare!Youceasetobedumbfolks,andfalltotalking,andsayalotofthingsneitherofyoucareabout,andafterfiveorsixweeksoftimeandsun-
  drymeetings,getdowntohonestlysayingwhatyoumean。I'msogladwe'vegotthroughwiththatfirststage,andcansaywhatwethinkandtellwhatwereallylike。”
  Thentheplayingbeganagain,——aharp-
  likeinterminglingofsoftsounds。ZoeLeBaron'shandswereverygirlish。Every-
  thingaboutherwasunformed。Evenhermindwasso。Butallpromisedafullcom-
  pletion。Thevoice,theshoulders,thesmile,thewords,thelips,thearms,thewholemindandbody,wereroundingtomaturity。
  "Whydoyounevercometochurchinthemorning?"asksMissLeBaron,wheel-
  ingaroundonherpiano-stoolsuddenly。
  "Youareonlythereatnight,withyourmother。”
  "Igoonlyonheraccount,"repliesDavid,truthfully。"InthemorningIamsotiredwiththeweek'sworkthatIrestathome。
  Ioughttogo,Iknow。”
  "Yes,youought,"returnstheyoungwoman,gravely。"Itdoesn'treallyrestonetolieinbedlikethat。I'vetrieditatboarding-school。Itwasnogoodwhatever。”
  "Shouldyouadviseme,"asksDavid,inaconfidingtone,"toariseearlyonSunday?"
  Thegirlblushesalittle。"Byallmeans!"
  shecries,hereyestwinkling,"and——andcometochurch。Ourmorningsermonsarereallyverymuchbetterthanthoseintheevening。”Andsheplaysawaltz,andwhatwiththemusicandthewarmthoftheroomandtheperfumeoftheroses,asomethingnamelessandmysticalstealsoverthepoorclerk,andswatheshimaboutlikethefumesofopium。Theyarealone。Thesilenceismadedeeperbythatrhythmicunswellingofsound。Asthepainterflushesthebarewallintosplendor,theseemotionsillumi-
  natedhissoul,andgavetoitthathighcour-
  agethatcomeswhenmenorwomensuddenlyrealizethateachlifehasitssignificance,——
  theirownlivesnolessthanthelivesofothers。
  Themansittingthereintheshadowinthatnoisytrainsawinhisvisionhowtheladaroseandmoved,likeoneunderaspell,towardthepiano。Hefeltagaintheen-
  chantmentofthemusic-riddenquiet,oftheperfume,andthepresenceofthewoman。
  "Knowingyouandspeakingwithyouhavenotmademuchdifferencewithme,"
  hewhispers,drunkonthenewwineofpassion,"forIhavelovedyousinceIsawyoufirst。Andthoughitissosweettohearyouspeak,yourvoiceisnomorebeautifulthanIthoughtitwouldbe。Ihavelovedyoualongtime,andIwanttoknow——"
  Thebrokenmanintheshadowremem-
  beredhowtheladstopped,astonishedathisboldnessandhisfluency,overcomesuddenlyatthethoughtofwhathewassaying。Themusicstoppedwithadiscord。Thegirlarose,tremblingandscarlet。
  "Iwouldnothavebelieveditofyou,"
  shecries,"totakeadvantageofmelikethis,whenIamalone——and——everything。
  Youknowverywellthatnothingbuttroublecouldcometoeitherofusfromyourtellingmeathinglikethat。”
  Heputshishandsuptohisfacetokeepoffheranger。Heistremblingwithconfusion。
  Thenshebrokeinpenitently,tryingtopullhishandsawayfromhishotface:
  "Nevermind!Iknowyoudidn'tmeananything。Begood,do,anddon'tspoilthelovelytimeswehavetogether。Youknowverywellfatherandmotherwouldn'tletusseeeachotheratallifthey——iftheythoughtyouweresayinganythingsuchasyousaidjustnow。”
  "Oh,butIcan'thelpit!"criestheboy,despairingly。"Ihaveneverlovedanybodyatalltillnow。Idon'tmeannotanothergirl,youknow。ButyouarethefirstbeingIevercaredfor。IsometimesthinkmothercaresformebecauseIpaytherent。Andtheoffice——youcan'timaginewhatthatislike。Themeninitaremovingcorpses。
  They'reproudtobethatway,andsowasI
  tillIknewyouandlearnedwhatlifewaslike。
  AllthehappymomentsIhavehadhavebeenhere。Now,ifyoutellmethatwearenottocareforeachother——"
  Therewassomeonecomingdownthehall。Thecurtainlifted。Amiddle-agedmanstoodtherelookingathim。
  "Culross,"saidhe,"I'mdisappointedinyou。Ididn'tmeantolisten,butIcouldn'thelphearingwhatyousaidjustnow。I
  don'tblameyouparticularly。Youngmenwillbefools。AndIdonotinanywaymeantoinsultyouwhenItellyoutostopyourcominghere。Idon'twanttoseeyouinsidethisdooragain,andafterawhileyouwillthankmeforit。Youhavetakenaveryunfairadvantageofmyinvitation。I
  makeallowancesforyouryouth。”
  Heheldbackthecurtainfortheladtopassout。Davidthrewamiserableglanceatthegirl。ShewasstandinglookingatherfatherwithanexpressionthatDavidcouldnotfathom。Hewentintothehall,pickeduphishat,andwalkedoutinsilence。
  Davidwonderedthatnight,walkingthechillystreetsafterhequittedthehouse,andoften,oftenafterward,ifthatcomfortableandprosperousgentleman,safebeyondtheperturbationsofyouth,hadanyideaofwhathehaddone。HowCOULDheknowanythingoftheblackmonotonyofthelifeofthemanheturnedfromhisdoor?The"desk'sdeadwood"andallitshatefulslavery,thedulldarkenedroomswherehismotherprosedthroughendlessevenings,thebookless,joyless,hopelessexistencethathadcrampedhimallhisdaysroseupbeforehim,asastretchofunbrokenplainmayrisebeforealostmantillitmaddenshim。
  Thebowedmaninthecar-seatremem-
  beredwithaflushofreminiscentmiseryhowtheladturnedsuddenlyinhiswalkandenteredthedoorofadrinking-roomthatstoodopen。Itwasverycomfortablewithin。Thescreenskeptoutthechilloftheautumnnight,thesawdust-sprinkledfloorwasclean,thetablesplacedneartogether,thebarglittering,theattendantswhite-apronedandbrisk。
  Davidlikedtheplace,andhelikedbetterstillthelaughterthatcamefromaroomwithin。Ithadanoteinitalittledifferentfromanythinghehadeverheardbeforeinhislife,andonethatechoedhismood。Heventuredtoaskifhemightgointothefartherroom。
  Itdoesnotmeanmuchwhenmostyoungmengotoaplacelikethis。Theytaketheirbitofunwholesomedissipationquietlyenough,andarealittlecoarserandmorecarelesseachtimetheyindulgeinit,perhaps。
  Butcertainlytheiracts,whatevergradualdeteriorationtheymayindicate,bespeaknosuddenmoralrevolution。Withthisyoungclerkitwasdifferent。Hewasaworsemanfromthemomentheenteredthedoor,forhedidviolencetohisprinciples;hekilledhisself-respect。
  Hehadbeenpaidattheofficethatnight,andhehadthemoney——aweek'smiserablepittance——inhispocket。Hiseveryactionrevealedthefactthathewasanoviceinrecklessness。Hisinnocentfacepiquedthemenwithin。Theygavehimawelcomethatamazedhim。Ofcoursetherestoftheeveningwasachaostohim。Thethroatdownwhichhepouredtheliquorwasastenderasachild's。Thementurnedhisheadwiththeirironicalcompliments。Theirboisterousgood-fellowshipwasasintoxicat-
  ingtothispooryoungrecluseastheliquor。
  Itwastherevulsionfromthisfeeling,whenhecametoaconsciousnessthatthemenwerelaughingathimandnotwithhim,thatwreckedhislife。Hehadgonefrombeertowhiskey,andfromwhiskeytobrandy,bythistime,atthesuggestionofthemen,andwasmakingawkwardlungeswithabilliardcue,spurredonbythemock-
  ingapplauseoftheothers。Oneyoungfellowwasparticularlyhilariousathisexpense。Hisjokesbecameinsults,orsotheyseemedtoDavid。
  Aquarrelfollowed,halfajestonthepartoftheother,allseriousasfarasDavidwasconcerned。Andthen——Well,whocouldtellhowithappened?ThebilliardcuewasinDavid'shand,andtheskullofthejesterwassplit,ahorriblegapingthing,revolt-
  inglyanimal。
  Davidneversawhishomeagain。Hismothergaveitoutinchurchthatherheartwasbroken,andshewrotealettertoDavidbegginghimtoreform。Shesaidshewouldneverceasetoprayforhim,thathemightreturntograce。Hehadanattorney,animpecuniousandveryagedgentleman,whoselifewasavenerablefailure,andwhotalkedsomuchabouthispersonalinconveniencesfromindigestionthatheforgottotakeaverykeeninterestintheconcernsofhisclient。David'strialmadenosensation。Hedidnotevenhavethecheapsympathyofthemorbid。Thecourt-roomwasalmostemptythedullspringdaywhentheeastwindbeatagainstthewindow,janglingtheloosepanesallthroughthereadingoftheverdict。
  Twentyyears!