"Allthiswithaneasygood-humorfittogiveavirtuouscitizenthecolic。
"'Youarewrong，MonsieurleComte，'retortedCerizet，inaslightlyperemptorytone。'Wewillbepaidinfull，andthatinawaywhichyoumaynotlike。ThatiswhyIcametoyoufirstinafriendlyspirit，asisrightandfitbetweengentlemen——'
"'Oh!sothatishowyouunderstandit？'beganMaxime，enragedbythislastpieceofpresumption。TherewassomethingofTalleyrand'switintheinsolentretort，ifyouhavequitegraspedthecontrastbetweenthetwomenandtheircostumes。Maximescowledandlookedfullattheintruder；Cerizetnotmerelyenduredtheglareofcoldfury，butevenreturnedit，withanicy，cat-likemalignanceandfixityofgaze。
"'Verygood，sir，goout——'
"'Verywell，good-day，MonsieurleComte。Weshallbequitsbeforesixmonthsareout。'
"'Ifyoucanstealtheamountofyourbill，whichislegallydueI
own，Ishallbeindebtedtoyou，sir，'repliedMaxime。'Youwillhavetaughtmeanewprecautiontotake。Iamverymuchyourservant。'
"'MonsieurleComte，'saidCerizet，'itisI，onthecontrary，whoamyours。'
"Herewasanexplicit，forcible，confidentdeclarationoneitherside。
Acoupleoftigersconfabulating，withthepreybeforethem，andafightimpending，wouldhavebeennofinerandnoshrewderthanthispair；theinsolentfinegentlemanasgreatablackguardastheotherinhissoiledandmud-stainedclothes。
"Whichwillyoulayyourmoneyon？"askedDesroches，lookingroundatanaudience，surprisedtofindhowdeeplyitwasinterested。
"Aprettystory!"criedMalaga。"Mydearboy，goon，Ibegofyou。
Thisgoestoone'sheart。”
"Nothingcommonplacecouldhappenbetweentwofighting-cocksofthatcalibre，"addedLaPalferine。
"Pooh!"criedMalaga。"Iwillwagermycabinet-maker'sinvoicethefellowisdunningmethatthelittletoadwastoomanyforMaxime。”
"IbetonMaxime，"saidCardot。"Nobodyevercaughthimnapping。”
DesrochesdrankoffaglassthatMalagahandedtohim。
"Mlle。Chocardelle'sreading-room，"hecontinued，afterapause，"wasintheRueCoquenard，justasteportwofromtheRuePigallewhereMaximewasliving。ThesaidMlle。Chocardellelivedatthebackonthegardensideofthehouse，beyondabigdarkplacewherethebookswerekept。Antonialeftheraunttolookafterthebusiness——"
"Hadsheanaunteventhen？"exclaimedMalaga。"Hangitall，Maximedidthingshandsomely。”
"Alas!itwasarealaunt，"saidDesroches；"hernamewas——letmesee——"
"IdaBonamy，"saidBixiou。
"SoasAntonia'saunttookagooddealoftheworkoffherhands，shewenttobedlateandlaylateofamorning，nevershowingherfaceatthedeskuntiltheafternoon，sometimebetweentwoandfour。Fromtheveryfirstherappearancewasenoughtodrawcustom。Severalelderlymeninthequarterusedtocome，amongthemaretiredcoach-builder，oneCroizeau。Beholdingthismiracleoffemalelovelinessthroughthewindow-panes，hetookitintohisheadtoreadthenewspapersinthebeauty'sreading-room；andasometimecustom-houseofficer，namedDenisart，witharibboninhisbutton-hole，followedtheexample。
CroizeauchosetolookuponDenisartasarival。'/Monsieur/，'hesaidafterwards，'
Ididnotknowwhattobuyforyou!'
"Thatspeechshouldgiveyouanideaoftheman。TheSieurCroizeauhappenstobelongtoaparticularclassofoldmanwhichshouldbeknownas'Coquerels'sinceHenriMonnier'stime；sowelldidMonnierrenderthepipingvoice，thelittlemannerisms，littlequeue，littlesprinklingofpowder，littlemovementsofthehead，primlittlemanner，andtrippinggaitinthepartofCoquerelin/LaFamilleImprovisee/。ThisCroizeauusedtohandoverhishalfpencewithaflourishanda'There，fairlady!'
"Mme。IdaBonamytheauntwasnotlonginfindingoutthroughaservantthatCroizeau，bypopularreportoftheneighborhoodoftheRuedeBuffault，wherehelived，wasamanofexceedingstinginess，possessedoffortythousandfrancsperannum。Aweekaftertheinstalmentofthecharminglibrarianhewasdeliveredofapun:
"'Youlendmebookslivres，butIgiveyouplentyoffrancsinreturn，'saidhe。
"Afewdayslaterheputonaknowinglittleair，asmuchastosay，'Iknowyouareengaged，butmyturnwillcomeoneday；Iamawidower。'
"Healwayscamearrayedinfinelinen，acornflowerbluecoat，apaduasoywaistcoat，blacktrousers，andblackribbonbowsonthedoublesoledshoesthatcreakedlikeanabbe's；healwaysheldafourteenfrancsilkhatinhishand。
"'IamoldandIhavenochildren，'hetookoccasiontoconfidetotheyoungladysomefewdaysafterCerizet'svisittoMaxime。'Iholdmyrelationsinhorror。Theyarepeasantsborntoworkinthefields。
Justimagineit，Icameupfromthecountrywithsixfrancsinmypocket，andmademyfortunehere。Iamnotproud。Aprettywomanismyequal。NowwoulditnotbenicertobeMme。CroizeauforsomeyearstocomethantodoaCount'spleasureforatwelvemonth？Hewillgooffandleaveyousometimeorother；andwhenthatdaycomes，youwillthinkofme……yourservant，myprettylady!'
"Allthiswassimmeringbelowthesurface。Theslightestapproachatlove-makingwasmadequiteonthesly。NotasoulsuspectedthatthetrimlittleoldfogywassmittenwithAntonia；andsoprudentwastheelderlylover，thatnorivalcouldhaveguessedanythingfromhisbehaviorinthereading-room。ForacoupleofmonthsCroizeauwatchedtheretiredcustom-houseofficial；butbeforethethirdmonthwasouthehadgoodreasontobelievethathissuspicionsweregroundless。HeexertedhisingenuitytoscrapeanacquaintancewithDenisart，cameupwithhiminthestreet，andatlengthseizedhisopportunitytoremark，'Itisafineday，sir!'
"Whereupontheretiredofficialrespondedwith，'Austerlitzweather，sir。Iwastheremyself——Iwaswoundedindeed，IwonmyCrossonthatgloriousday。'
"AndsofromonethingtoanotherthetwodriftedwrecksoftheEmpirestruckupanacquaintance。LittleCroizeauwasattachedtotheEmpirethroughhisconnectionwithNapoleon'ssisters。Hehadbeentheircoach-builder，andhadfrequentlydunnedthemformoney；sohegaveoutthathe'hadhadrelationswiththeImperialfamily。'Maxime，dulyinformedbyAntoniaofthe'niceoldman's'proposalsforsotheauntcalledCroizeau，wishedtoseehim。Cerizet'sdeclarationofwarhadsofartakeneffectthatheoftheyellowkidgloveswasstudyingthepositionofeverypiece，howeverinsignificant，upontheboard；anditsohappenedthatatthementionofthat'niceoldman，'anominoustinklingsoundedinhisears。Oneevening，therefore，Maximeseatedhimselfamongthebook-shelvesinthedimlylightedbackroom，reconnoitredthesevenoreightcustomersthroughthechinkbetweenthegreencurtains，andtookthelittlecoach-builder'smeasure。Hegaugedtheman'sinfatuation，andwasverywellsatisfiedtofindthatthevarnisheddoorsofatolerablysumptuousfuturewerereadytoturnatawordfromAntoniasosoonashisownfancyhadpassedoff。
"'Andthatotheroneyonder？'askedhe，pointingoutthestoutfine-
lookingelderlymanwiththeCrossoftheLegionofHonor。'Whoishe？'
"'Aretiredcustom-houseofficer。'
"'Thecutofhiscountenanceisnotreassuring，'saidMaxime，beholdingtheSieurDenisart。
"Andindeedtheoldsoldierheldhimselfuprightasasteeple。Hisheadwasremarkablefortheamountofpowderandpomatumbestoweduponit；helookedalmostlikeapostilionatafancyball。Underneaththatfeltedcovering，mouldedtothetopofthewearer'scranium，appearedanelderlyprofile，half-official，half-soldierly，withacomicaladmixtureofarrogance，——altogethersomethinglikecaricaturesofthe/Constitutionnel/。Thesometimeofficialfindingthatage，andhair-
powder，andtheconformationofhisspinemadeitimpossibletoreadawordwithoutspectacles，satdisplayingaverycreditableexpanseofchestwithalltheprideofanoldmanwithamistress。LikeoldGeneralMontcornet，thatpillaroftheVaudeville，heworeearrings。
Denisartwaspartialtoblue；hisroomytrousersandwell-worngreatcoatwerebothofbluecloth。
"'Howlongisitsincethatoldfogycamehere？'inquiredMaxime，thinkingthathesawdangerinthespectacles。
"'Oh，fromthebeginning，'returnedAntonia，'prettynearlytwomonthsagonow。'
"'Good，"saidMaximetohimself，'Cerizetonlycametomeamonthago——Justgethimtotalk，'headdedinAntonia'sear；'Iwanttohearhisvoice。'
"'Pshaw，'saidshe，'thatisnotsoeasy。Heneversaysawordtome。'
"'Thenwhydoeshecomehere？'demandedMaxime。
"'Foraqueerreason，'returnedthefairAntonia。'Inthefirstplace，althoughheissixty-nine，hehasafancy；andbecauseheissixty-nine，heisasmethodicalasaclockface。Everydayatfiveo'clocktheoldgentlemangoestodinewith/her/intheRuedelaVictoire。Iamsorryforher。Thenatsixo'clock，hecomeshere，readssteadilyatthepapersforfourhours，andgoesbackatteno'clock。DaddyCroizeausaysthatheknowsM。Denisart'smotives，andapproveshisconduct；andinhisplace，hewoulddothesame。SoI
knowexactlywhattoexpect。IfeverIamMme。Croizeau，Ishallhavefourhourstomyselfbetweensixandteno'clock。'
"Maximelookedthroughthedirectory，andfoundthefollowingreassuringitem:
"DENISART，*retiredcustom-houseofficer，RuedelaVictoire。
"Hisuneasinessvanished。
"GraduallytheSieurDenisartandtheSieurCroizeaubegantoexchangeconfidences。Nothingsobindstwomentogetherasasimilarityofviewsinthematterofwomankind。DaddyCroizeauwenttodinewith'M。
Denisart'sfairlady，'ashecalledher。AndhereImustmakeasomewhatimportantobservation。
"Thereading-roomhadbeenpaidforhalfincash，halfinbillssignedbythesaidMlle。Chocardelle。The/quartd'heuredeRabelais/
arrived；theCounthadnomoney。Sothefirstbillofthreethousandfrancswasmetbytheamiablecoach-builder；thatoldscoundrelDenisarthavingrecommendedhimtosecurehimselfwithamortgageonthereading-room。
"'Formyownpart，'saidDenisart，'Ihaveseenprettydoingsfromprettywomen。Soinallcases，evenwhenIhavelostmyhead，Iamalwaysonmyguardwithawoman。Thereisthiscreature，forinstance；
Iammadlyinlovewithher；butthisisnotherfurniture；no，itbelongstome。Theleaseistakenoutinmyname。'
"YouknowMaxime!Hethoughtthecoach-builderuncommonlygreen。
Croizeaumightpayallthreebills，andgetnothingforalongwhile；
forMaximefeltmoreinfatuatedwithAntoniathanever。”
"Icanwellbelieveit，"saidLaPalferine。"Sheisthe/bellaImperia/ofourday。”
"Withherroughskin!"exclaimedMalaga；"sorough，thatsheruinsherselfinbranbaths!"
"Croizeauspokewithacoach-builder'sadmirationofthesumptuousfurnitureprovidedbytheamorousDenisartasasettingforhisfairone，describingitallindetailwithdiabolicalcomplacencyforAntonia'sbenefit，"continuedDesroches。"Theebonychestsinlaidwithmother-of-pearlandgoldwire，theBrusselscarpets，amediaevalbedsteadworththreethousandfrancs，aBouleclock，candelabrainthefourcornersofthedining-room，silkcurtains，onwhichChinesepatiencehadwroughtpicturesofbirds，andhangingsoverthedoors，worthmorethantheportressthatopenedthem。
"'Andthatiswhat/you/oughttohave，myprettylady——AndthatiswhatIshouldliketoofferyou，'hewouldconclude。'Iamquiteawarethatyouscarcelycareabitaboutme；but，atmyage，wecannotexpecttoomuch。JudgehowmuchIloveyou；Ihavelentyouathousandfrancs。Imustconfessthat，inallmyborndays，Ihavenotlentanybody/that/much——'
"Heheldouthispennyashespoke，withtheimportantairofamanthatgivesalearneddemonstration。
"ThateveningattheVarietes，AntoniaspoketotheCount。
"'Areading-roomisverydull，allthesame，'saidshe；'IfeelthatIhavenosortoftasteforthatkindoflife，andIseenofutureinit。Itisonlyfitforawidowthatwishestokeepbodyandsoultogether，orforsomehideouslyuglythingthatfanciesshecancatchahusbandwithalittlefinery。'
"'Itwasyourownchoice，'returnedtheCount。Justatthatmoment，incameNucingen，ofwhomMaxime，kingoflionsthe'yellowkidgloves'werethelionsofthatdayhadwonthreethousandfrancstheeveningbefore。Nucingenhadcometopayhisgamingdebt。
"'EinwritofattachmenthafshoostpeenservedonmebyderorderofdotteufelGlabaron，'hesaid，seeingMaxime'sastonishment。
"'Oh，sothatishowtheyaregoingtowork，isit？'criedMaxime。
'Theyarenotuptomuch，thatpair——'
"'Itmakesnot，'saidthebanker，'baydem，fordeymayapplydemselfstooderspesides，unddoyouharm。IdakedeesbrettyvomantovitnessdotIhafbaidyoudeesmorning，longpeforedatwritvasserfed。'"
"Queenoftheboards，"smiledLaPalferine，lookingatMalaga，"thouartabouttolosethybet。”
"Once，alongtimeago，inasimilarcase，"resumedDesroches，"atoohonestdebtortookfrightattheideaofasolemndeclarationinacourtoflaw，anddeclinedtopayMaximeafternoticewasgiven。Thattimewemadeithotforthecreditorbypilingonwritsofattachment，soastoabsorbthewholeamountincosts——"
"Oh，whatisthat？"criedMalaga；"itallsoundslikegibberishtome。
Asyouthoughtthesturgeonsoexcellentatdinner，letmetakeoutthevalueofthesauceinlessonsinchicanery。”
"Verywell，"saidDesroches。"Supposethatamanowesyoumoney，andyourcreditorsserveawritofattachmentuponhim；thereisnothingtopreventallyourothercreditorsfromdoingthesamething。Andnowwhatdoesthecourtdowhenallthecreditorsmakeapplicationfororderstopay？/Thecourtdividesthewholesumattached，proportionatelyamongthemall。/Thatdivision，madeundertheeyeofamagistrate，iswhatwecalla/contribution/。Ifyouowetenthousandfrancs，andyourcreditorsissuewritsofattachmentonadebtduetoyouofathousandfrancs，eachoneofthemgetssomuchpercent，'somuchinthepound，'inlegalphrase；somuchthatmeansinproportiontotheamountsseverallyclaimedbythecreditors。But——thecreditorscannottouchthemoneywithoutaspecialorderfromtheclerkofthecourt。Doyouguesswhatallthisworkdrawnupbyajudgeandpreparedbyattorneysmustmean？Itmeansaquantityofstampedpaperfullofdiffuselinesandblanks，thefiguresalmostlostinvastspacesofcompletelyemptyruledcolumns。
Thefirstproceedingistodeductthecosts。Now，asthecostsarepreciselythesamewhethertheamountattachedisonethousandoronemillionfrancs，itisnotdifficulttoeatupthreethousandfrancsforinstanceincosts，especiallyifyoucanmanagetoraisecounterapplications。”
"Andanattorneyalwaysmanagestodoit，"saidCardot。"Howmanyatimeoneofyouhascometomewith，'Whatistheretobegotoutofthecase？'"
"Itisparticularlyeasytomanageitifthedebtoreggsyouontorunupcoststilltheyeatuptheamount。And，asarule，theCount'screditorstooknothingbythatmove，andwereoutofpocketinlawandpersonalexpenses。TogetmoneyoutofsoexperiencedadebtorastheCount，acreditorshouldreallybeinapositionuncommonlydifficulttoreach；itisaquestionofbeingcreditoranddebtorboth，forthenyouarelegallyentitledtoworktheconfusionofrights，inlawlanguage——"
"Totheconfusionofthedebtor？"askedMalaga，lendinganattentiveeartothisdiscourse。
"No，theconfusionofrightsofdebtorandcreditor，andpayyourselfthroughyourownhands。SoClaparon'sinnocenceinmerelyissuingwritsofattachmenteasedtheCount'smind。AshecamebackfromtheVarieteswithAntonia，hewassomuchthemoretakenwiththeideaofsellingthereading-roomtopayoffthelasttwothousandfrancsofthepurchase-money，becausehedidnotcaretohavehisnamemadepublicasapartnerinsuchaconcern。SoheadoptedAntonia'splan。
Antoniawishedtoreachthehigherranksofhercalling，withsplendidrooms，amaid，andacarriage；inshort，shewantedtorivalourcharminghostess，forinstance——"
"Shewasnotwomanenoughforthat，"criedthefamousbeautyoftheCircus；"still，sheruinedyoungd'Esgrignonveryneatly。”
"Tendaysafterwards，littleCroizeau，perchedonhisdignity，saidalmostexactlythesamething，forthefairAntonia'sbenefit，"
continuedDesroches。
"'Child，'saidhe，'yourreading-roomisaholeofaplace。Youwillloseyourcomplexion；thegaswillruinyoureyesight。Yououghttocomeoutofit；and，lookhere，letustakeadvantageofanopportunity。Ihavefoundayoungladyforyouthatasksnobetterthantobuyyourreading-room。Sheisaruinedwomanwithnothingbeforeherbutaplungeintotheriver；butshehadfourthousandfrancsincash，andthebestthingtodoistoturnthemtoaccount，soastofeedandeducateacoupleofchildren。'
"'Verywell。Itiskindofyou，DaddyCroizeau，'saidAntonia。
"'Oh，IshallbemuchkinderbeforeIhavedone。Justimagineit，poorM。Denisarthasbeenworriedintothejaundice!Yes，ithasgonetotheliver，asitusuallydoeswithsusceptibleoldmen。Itisapityhefeelsthingsso。Itoldhimsomyself；Isaid，"Bepassionate，thereisnoharminthat，butasfortakingthingstoheart——drawthelineatthat!Itisthewaytokillyourself。”——Really，Iwouldnothaveexpectedhimtotakeonsoaboutit；amanthathassenseenoughandexperienceenoughtokeepawayashedoeswhilehedigestshisdinner——'
"'Butwhatisthematter？'inquiredMlle。Chocardelle。
"'ThatlittlebaggagewithwhomIdinedhasclearedoutandlefthim!……Yes。Gavehimtheslipwithoutanywarningbutaletter，inwhichthespellingwasalltoseek。'
"'There，DaddyCroizeau，youseewhatcomesofboringawoman——'
"'Itisindeedalesson，myprettylady，'saidtheguilefulCroizeau。
'Meanwhile，Ihaveneverseenamaninsuchastate。OurfriendDenisartcannottellhislefthandfromhisright；hewillnotgobacktolookatthe"sceneofhishappiness，"ashecallsit。Hehassothoroughlylosthiswits，thatheproposesthatIshouldbuyallHortense'sfurnitureHortensewashernameforfourthousandfrancs。'
"'Aprettyname，'saidAntonia。
"Yes。Napoleon'sstepdaughterwascalledHortense。Ibuiltcarriagesforher，asyouknow。'
"'Verywell，Iwillsee，'saidcunningAntonia；'beginbysendingthisyoungwomantome。'
"Antoniahurriedofftoseethefurniture，andcamebackfascinated。
ShebroughtMaximeunderthespellofantiquarianenthusiasm。ThatveryeveningtheCountagreedtothesaleofthereading-room。Theestablishment，yousee，nominallybelongedtoMlle。Chocardelle。
MaximeburstoutlaughingattheideaoflittleCroizeau'sfindinghimabuyer。ThefirmofMaximeandChocardellewaslosingtwothousandfrancs，itistrue，butwhatwasthelosscomparedwithfourgloriousthousand-francnotesinhand？'Fourthousandfrancsoflivecoin!——
therearemomentsinone'slifewhenonewouldsignbillsforeightthousandtogetthem，'astheCountsaidtome。
"TwodayslatertheCountmustseethefurniturehimself，andtookthefourthousandfrancsuponhim。Thesalehadbeenarranged；thankstolittleCroizeau'sdiligence，hepushedmatterson；hehad'comeround'
thewidow，asheexpressedit。ItwasMaxime'sintentiontohaveallthefurnitureremovedatoncetoalodginginanewhouseintheRueTronchet，takeninthenameofMme。IdaBonamy；hedidnottroublehimselfmuchabouttheniceoldmanthatwasabouttolosehisthousandfrancs。Buthehadsentbeforehandforseveralbigfurniturevans。
"Onceagainhewasfascinatedbythebeautifulfurniturewhichawholesaledealerwouldhavevaluedatsixthousandfrancs。Bythefiresidesatthewretchedowner，yellowwithjaundice，hisheadtiedupinacoupleofprintedhandkerchiefs，andacottonnight-capontopofthem；hewashuddledupinwrappingslikeachandelier，exhausted，unabletospeak，andaltogethersoknockedtopiecesthattheCountwasobligedtotransacthisbusinesswiththeman-servant。Whenhehadpaiddownthefourthousandfrancs，andtheservanthadtakenthemoneytohismasterforareceipt，Maximeturnedtotellthemantocallupthevanstothedoor；butevenashespoke，avoicelikearattlesoundedinhisears。
"'Itisnotworthwhile，MonsieurleComte。YouandIarequits；I
havesixhundredandthirtyfrancsfifteencentimestogiveyou!'
"Tohisutterconsternation，hesawCerizet，emergedfromhiswrappingslikeabutterflyfromthechrysalis，holdingouttheaccursedbundleofdocuments。
"'WhenIwasdownonmyluck，Ilearnedtoactonthestage，'addedCerizet。'IamasgoodasBouffeatoldmen。'
"'Ihavefallenamongthieves!'shoutedMaxime。
"'No，MonsieurleComte，youareinMlle。Hortense'shouse。SheisafriendofoldLordDudley's；hekeepsherhiddenawayhere；butshehasthebadtastetolikeyourhumbleservant。'
"'IfeverIlongedtokillaman，'sotheCounttoldmeafterwards，'itwasatthatmoment；butwhatcouldonedo？Hortenseshowedherprettyface，onehadtolaugh。Tokeepmydignity，Iflungherthesixhundredfrancs。"There'sforthegirl，"saidI。'"
"ThatisMaximeallover!"criedLaPalferine。
"MoreespeciallyasitwaslittleCroizeau'smoney，"addedCardottheprofound。
"Maximescoredatriumph，"continuedDesroches，"forHortenseexclaimed，'Oh，ifIhadonlyknownthatitwasyou!'"
"Apretty'confusion'indeed!"putinMalaga。"Youhavelost，milord，"
sheaddedturningtothenotary。
Andinthiswaythecabinetmaker，towhomMalagaowedahundredcrowns，waspaid。