首页 >出版文学> The Sorrows of Young Werther>第5章
  AUGUST21.
  Mysensationsareconstantlychanging.Sometimesahappyprospectopensbeforeme;butalas!itisonlyforamoment;andthen,whenIamlostinreverie,Icannothelpsayingtomyself,"IfAlbertweretodie?——Yes,shewouldbecome——andIshouldbe"——andsoIpursueachimera,tillitleadsmetotheedgeofaprecipiceatwhichIshudder.
  WhenIpassthroughthesamegate,andwalkalongthesameroadwhichfirstconductedmetoCharlotte,myheartsinkswithinmeatthechangethathassincetakenplace.All,all,isaltered!Nosentiment,nopulsationofmyheart,isthesame.Mysensationsaresuchaswouldoccurtosomedepartedprincewhosespiritshouldreturntovisitthesuperbpalacewhichhehadbuiltinhappytimes,adornedwithcostlymagnificence,andlefttoabelovedson,butwhosegloryheshouldfinddeparted,anditshallsdesertedandinruins.
  SEPTEMBER3.
  Isometimescannotunderstandhowshecanloveanother,howshedaresloveanother,whenIlovenothinginthisworldsocompletely,sodevotedly,asIloveher,whenIknowonlyher,andhavenootherpossession.
  SEPTEMBER4.
  Itisevenso!Asnatureputsonherautumntintsitbecomesautumnwithmeandaroundme.Myleavesaresereandyellow,andtheneighbouringtreesaredivestedoftheirfoliage.Doyouremembermywritingtoyouaboutapeasantboyshortlyaftermyarrivalhere?IhavejustmadeinquiriesabouthiminWalheim.Theysayhehasbeendismissedfromhisservice,andisnowavoidedbyeveryone.Imethimyesterdayontheroad,goingtoaneighbouringvillage.Ispoketohim,andhetoldmehisstory.Itinterestedmeexceedingly,asyouwilleasilyunderstandwhenIrepeatittoyou.ButwhyshouldItroubleyou?WhyshouldInotreserveallmysorrowformyself?WhyshouldIcontinuetogiveyouoccasiontopityandblameme?Butnomatter:thisalsoispartofmydestiny.
  Atfirstthepeasantladansweredmyinquirieswithasortofsubduedmelancholy,whichseemedtomethemarkofatimiddisposition;but,aswegrewtounderstandeachother,hespokewithlessreserve,andopenlyconfessedhisfaults,andlamentedhismisfortune.Iwish,mydearfriend,Icouldgiveproperexpressiontohislanguage.Hetoldmewithasortofpleasurablerecollection,that,aftermydeparture,hispassionforhismistressincreaseddaily,untilatlastheneitherknewwhathedidnorwhathesaid,norwhatwastobecomeofhim.Hecouldneithereatnordrinknorsleep:hefeltasenseofsuffocation;hedisobeyedallorders,andforgotallcommandsinvoluntarily;heseemedasifpursuedbyanevilspirit,tilloneday,knowingthathismistresshadgonetoanupperchamber,hehadfollowed,or,rather,beendrawnafterher.Assheproveddeaftohisentreaties,hehadrecoursetoviolence.
  Heknowsnotwhathappened;buthecalledGodtowitnessthathisintentionstoherwerehonourable,andthathedesirednothingmoresincerelythanthattheyshouldmarry,andpasstheirlivestogether.Whenhehadcometothispoint,hebegantohesitate,asiftherewassomethingwhichhehadnotcouragetoutter,tillatlengthheacknowledgedwithsomeconfusioncertainlittleconfidencesshehadencouraged,andlibertiesshehadallowed.Hebrokeofftwoorthreetimesinhisnarration,andassuredmemostearnestlythathehadnowishtomakeherbad,ashetermedit,forhelovedherstillassincerelyasever;thatthetalehadneverbeforeescapedhislips,andwasonlynowtoldtoconvincemethathewasnotutterlylostandabandoned.Andhere,mydearfriend,ImustcommencetheoldsongwhichyouknowIuttereternally.IfIcouldonlyrepresentthemanashestood,andstandsnowbeforeme,couldIonlygivehistrueexpressions,youwouldfeelcompelledtosympathiseinhisfate.Butenough:you,whoknowmymisfortuneandmydisposition,caneasilycomprehendtheattractionwhichdrawsmetowardeveryunfortunatebeing,butparticularlytowardhimwhosestoryIhaverecounted.
  Onperusingthisletterasecondtime,IfindIhaveomittedtheconclusionofmytale;butitiseasilysupplied.Shebecamereservedtowardhim,attheinstigationofherbrotherwhohadlonghatedhim,anddesiredhisexpulsionfromthehouse,fearingthathissister'ssecondmarriagemightdeprivehischildrenofthehandsomefortunetheyexpectedfromher;assheischildless.Hewasdismissedatlength;andthewholeaffairoccasionedsomuchscandal,thatthemistressdarednottakehimback,evenifshehadwishedit.Shehassincehiredanotherservant,withwhom,theysay,herbrotherisequallydispleased,andwhomsheislikelytomarry;butmyinformantassuresmethathehimselfisdeterminednottosurvivesuchacatastrophe.
  Thisstoryisneitherexaggeratednorembellished:indeed,Ihaveweakenedandimpaireditinthenarration,bythenecessityofusingthemorerefinedexpressionsofsociety.
  Thislove,then,thisconstancy,thispassion,isnopoeticalfiction.Itisactual,anddwellsinitsgreatestpurityamongstthatclassofmankindwhomwetermrude,uneducated.Wearetheeducated,nottheperverted.Butreadthisstorywithattention,Iimploreyou.Iamtranquilto-day,forIhavebeenemployeduponthisnarration:youseebymywritingthatIamnotsoagitatedasusual.Ireadandre-readthistale,Wilhelm:itisthehistoryofyourfriend!Myfortunehasbeenandwillbesimilar;andIamneitherhalfsobravenorhalfsodeterminedasthepoorwretchwithwhomIhesitatetocomparemyself.
  SEPTEMBER5.
  Charlottehadwrittenalettertoherhusbandinthecountry,wherehewasdetainedbybusiness.Itcommenced,"Mydearestlove,returnassoonaspossible:Iawaityouwithathousandraptures."Afriendwhoarrived,broughtword,that,forcertainreasons,hecouldnotreturnimmediately.Charlotte'sletterwasnotforwarded,andthesameeveningitfellintomyhands.Ireadit,andsmiled.Sheaskedthereason."Whataheavenlytreasureisimagination:"Iexclaimed;"Ifanciedforamomentthatthiswaswrittentome."Shepaused,andseemeddispleased.Iwassilent.
  SEPTEMBER6.
  ItcostmemuchtopartwiththebluecoatwhichIworethefirsttimeIdancedwithCharlotte.ButIcouldnotpossiblywearitanylonger.ButIhaveorderedanewone,preciselysimilar,eventothecollarandsleeves,aswellasanewwaistcoatandpantaloons.
  Butitdoesnotproducethesameeffectuponme.Iknownothowitis,butIhopeintimeIshalllikeitbetter.
  SEPTEMBER12.
  Shehasbeenabsentforsomedays.ShewenttomeetAlbert.To-dayIvisitedher:sherosetoreceiveme,andIkissedherhandmosttenderly.
  Acanaryatthemomentflewfromamirror,andsettleduponhershoulder."Hereisanewfriend,"sheobserved,whileshemadehimperchuponherhand:"heisapresentforthechildren.Whatadearheis!Lookathim!WhenIfeedhim,heflutterswithhiswings,andpeckssonicely.Hekissesme,too,onlylook!"
  Sheheldthebirdtohermouth;andhepressedhersweetlipswithsomuchfervourthatheseemedtofeeltheexcessofblisswhichheenjoyed.
  "Heshallkissyoutoo,"sheadded;andthensheheldthebirdtowardme.Hislittlebeakmovedfromhermouthtomine,andthedelightfulsensationseemedliketheforerunnerofthesweetestbliss.
  "Akiss,"Iobserved,"doesnotseemtosatisfyhim:hewishesforfood,andseemsdisappointedbytheseunsatisfactoryendearments."
  "Butheeatsoutofmymouth,"shecontinued,andextendedherlipstohimcontainingseed;andshesmiledwithallthecharmofabeingwhohasallowedaninnocentparticipationofherlove.
  Iturnedmyfaceaway.Sheshouldnotactthus.Sheoughtnottoexcitemyimaginationwithsuchdisplaysofheavenlyinnocenceandhappiness,norawakenmyheartfromitsslumbers,inwhichitdreamsoftheworthlessnessoflife!Andwhynot?BecausesheknowshowmuchIloveher.
  SEPTEMBER15.
  Itmakesmewretched,Wilhelm,tothinkthatthereshouldbemenincapableofappreciatingthefewthingswhichpossessarealvalueinlife.YourememberthewalnuttreesatS——,underwhichIusedtositwithCharlotte,duringmyvisitstotheworthyoldvicar.Thoseglorioustrees,theverysightofwhichhassooftenfilledmyheartwithjoy,howtheyadornedandrefreshedtheparsonageyard,withtheirwide-extendedbranches!andhowpleasingwasourremembranceofthegoodoldpastor,bywhosehandstheywereplantedsomanyyearsago:Theschoolmasterhasfrequentlymentionedhisname.Hehaditfromhisgrandfather.Hemusthavebeenamostexcellentman;and,undertheshadeofthoseoldtrees,hismemorywaseverveneratedbyme.Theschoolmasterinformedusyesterday,withtearsinhiseyes,thatthosetreeshadbeenfelled.Yes,cuttotheground!Icould,inmywrath,haveslainthemonsterwhostruckthefirststroke.AndImustendurethis!——I,who,ifIhadhadtwosuchtreesinmyowncourt,andonehaddiedfromoldage,shouldhaveweptwithrealaffliction.Butthereissomecomfortleft,suchathingissentiment,thewholevillagemurmursatthemisfortune;andIhopethevicar'swifewillsoonfind,bythecessationofthevillagers'presents,howmuchshehaswoundedthefeelingsoftheneighborhhood.Itwasshewhodidit,thewifeofthepresentincumbentourgoodoldmanisdead,atall,sicklycreaturewhoissofarrighttodisregardtheworld,astheworldtotallydisregardsher.Thesillybeingaffectstobelearned,pretendstoexaminethecanonicalbooks,lendsheraidtowardthenew-fashionedreformationofChristendom,moralandcritical,andshrugsuphershouldersatthementionofLavater'senthusiasm.Herhealthisdestroyed,onaccountofwhichsheispreventedfromhavinganyenjoymentherebelow.Onlysuchacreaturecouldhavecutdownmywalnuttrees!Icanneverpardonit.Hearherreasons.Thefallingleavesmadethecourtwetanddirty;thebranchesobstructedthelight;boysthrewstonesatthenutswhentheywereripe,andthenoiseaffectedhernerves;anddisturbedherprofoundmeditations,whenshewasweighingthediffcultiesofKennicot,Semler,andMichaelis.Findingthatalltheparish,particularlytheoldpeople,weredispleased,Iasked"whytheyallowedit?""Ah,sir!"theyreplied,"whenthestewardorders,whatcanwepoorpeasantsdo?"Butonethinghashappenedwell.Thestewardandthevicarwho,foronce,thoughttoreapsomeadvantagefromthecapricesofhiswifeintendedtodividethetreesbetweenthem.Therevenue-office,beinginformedofit,revivedanoldclaimtothegroundwherethetreeshadstood,andsoldthemtothebestbidder.Theretheystilllieontheground.IfIwerethesovereign,Ishouldknowhowtodealwiththemall,vicar,steward,andrevenue-office.Sovereign,didIsay?Ishould,inthatcase,carelittleaboutthetreesthatgrewinthecountry.
  OCTOBER10.
  Onlytogazeuponherdarkeyesistomeasourceofhappiness!Andwhatgrievesme,is,thatAlbertdoesnotseemsohappyashe——hopedtobe——asIshouldhavebeen——if——Iamnofriendtothesepauses,buthereIcannotexpressitotherwise;andprobablyIamexplicitenough.
  OCTOBER12.
  OssianhassupersededHomerinmyheart.Towhataworlddoestheillustriousbardcarryme!Towanderoverpathlesswilds,surroundedbyimpetuouswhirlwinds,where,bythefeeblelightofthemoon,weseethespiritsofourancestors;tohearfromthemountain-tops,midtheroaroftorrents,theirplaintivesoundsissuingfromdeepcaverns,andthesorrowfullamentationsofamaidenwhosighsandexpiresonthemossytombofthewarriorbywhomshewasadored.Imeetthisbardwithsilverhair;hewandersinthevalley;heseeksthefootstepsofhisfathers,and,alas!hefindsonlytheirtombs.Then,contemplatingthepalemoon,asshesinksbeneaththewavesoftherollingsea,thememoryofbygonedaysstrikesthemindofthehero,dayswhenapproachingdangerinvigoratedthebrave,andthemoonshoneuponhisbarkladenwithspoils,andreturningintriumph.WhenIreadinhiscountenancedeepsorrow,whenIseehisdyingglorysinkexhaustedintothegrave,asheinhalesnewandheart-thrillingdelightfromhisapproachingunionwithhisbeloved,andhecastsalookonthecoldearthandthetallgrasswhichissosoontocoverhim,andthenexclaims,"Thetravellerwillcome,——hewillcomewhohasseenmybeauty,andhewillask,'Whereisthebard,whereistheillustrioussonofFingal?'Hewillwalkovermytomb,andwillseekmeinvain!"Then,Omyfriend,Icouldinstantly,likeatrueandnobleknight,drawmysword,anddelivermyprincefromthelongandpainfullanguorofalivingdeath,anddismissmyownsoultofollowthedemigodwhommyhandhadsetfree!
  OCTOBER19.
  Alas!thevoidthefearfulvoid,whichIfeelinmybosom!SometimesIthink,ifIcouldonlyoncebutonce,presshertomyheart,thisdreadfulvoidwouldbefilled.
  OCTOBER26.
  Yes,Ifeelcertain,Wilhelm,andeverydayIbecomemorecertain,thattheexistenceofanybeingwhateverisofverylittleconsequence.AfriendofCharlotte'scalledtoseeherjustnow.Iwithdrewintoaneighbouringapartment,andtookupabook;but,findingIcouldnotread,Isatdowntowrite.Iheardthemconverseinanundertone:theyspokeuponindifferenttopics,andretailedthenewsofthetown.Onewasgoingtobemarried;anotherwasill,veryill,shehadadrycough,herfacewasgrowingthinnerdaily,andshehadoccasionalfits."N——isveryunwelltoo,"saidCharlotte."Hislimbsbegintoswellalready,"answeredtheother;andmylivelyimaginationcarriedmeatoncetothebedsoftheinfirm.ThereIseethemstrugglingagainstdeath,withalltheagoniesofpainandhorror;andthesewomen,Wilhelm,talkofallthiswithasmuchindifferenceasonewouldmentionthedeathofastranger.AndwhenIlookaroundtheapartmentwhereInowam——whenIseeCharlotte'sapparellyingbeforeme,andAlbert'swritings,andallthosearticlesoffurniturewhicharesofamiliartome,eventotheveryinkstandwhichIamusing,——whenIthinkwhatIamtothisfamily——everything.Myfriendsesteemme;Ioftencontributetotheirhappiness,andmyheartseemsasifitcouldnotbeatwithoutthem;andyet——ifIweretodie,ifIweretobesummonedfromthemidstofthiscircle,wouldtheyfeel——orhowlongwouldtheyfeelthevoidwhichmylosswouldmakeintheirexistence?Howlong!Yes,suchisthefrailtyofman,thateventhere,wherehehasthegreatestconsciousnessofhisownbeing,wherehemakesthestrongestandmostforcibleimpression,eveninthememory,intheheart,ofhisbeloved,therealsohemustperish,——vanish,——andthatquickly.
  OCTOBER27.
  Icouldtearopenmybosomwithvexationtothinkhowlittlewearecapableofinfluencingthefeelingsofeachother.Noonecancommunicatetomethosesensationsoflove,joy,rapture,anddelightwhichIdonotnaturallypossess;and,thoughmyheartmayglowwiththemostlivelyaffection,Icannotmakethehappinessofoneinwhomthesamewarmthisnotinherent.
  OCTOBER27:Evening.
  Ipossesssomuch,butmyloveforherabsorbsitall.Ipossesssomuch,butwithoutherIhavenothing.
  OCTOBER30.
  OnehundredtimeshaveIbeenonthepointofembracingher.Heavens!whatatormentitistoseesomuchlovelinesspassingandrepassingbeforeus,andyetnotdaretolayholdofit!Andlayingholdisthemostnaturalofhumaninstincts.Donotchildrentoucheverythingtheysee?AndI!
  NOVEMBER3.
  Witness,Heaven,howoftenIliedowninmybedwithawish,andevenahope,thatImayneverawakenagain.Andinthemorning,whenIopenmyeyes,Ibeholdthesunoncemore,andamwretched.IfIwerewhimsical,Imightblametheweather,oranacquaintance,orsomepersonaldisappointment,formydiscontentedmind;andthenthisinsupportableloadoftroublewouldnotrestentirelyuponmyself.But,alas!Ifeelittoosadly.Iamalonethecauseofmyownwoe,amInot?Truly,myownbosomcontainsthesourceofallmysorrow,asitpreviouslycontainedthesourceofallmypleasure.AmInotthesamebeingwhoonceenjoyedanexcessofhappiness,who,ateverystep,sawparadiseopenbeforehim,andwhoseheartwaseverexpandedtowardthewholeworld?Andthisheartisnowdead,nosentimentcanreviveit;myeyesaredry;andmysenses,nomorerefreshedbytheinfluenceofsofttears,witherandconsumemybrain.Isuffermuch,forIhavelosttheonlycharmoflife:thatactive,sacredpowerwhichcreatedworldsaroundme,——itisnomore.WhenIlookfrommywindowatthedistanthills,andbeholdthemorningsunbreakingthroughthemists,andilluminatingthecountryaround,whichisstillwrappedinsilence,whilstthesoftstreamwindsgentlythroughthewillows,whichhaveshedtheirleaves;whengloriousnaturedisplaysallherbeautiesbeforeme,andherwondrousprospectsareineffectualtoextractonetearofjoyfrommywitheredheart,IfeelthatinsuchamomentIstandlikeareprobatebeforeheaven,hardened,insensible,andunmoved.OftentimesdoIthenbendmykneetotheearth,andimploreGodfortheblessingoftears,asthedespondinglabourerinsomescorchingclimatepraysforthedewsofheaventomoistenhisparchedcorn.ButIfeelthatGoddoesnotgrantsunshineorraintoourimportunateentreaties.Andoh,thosebygonedays,whosememorynowtormentsme!whyweretheysofortunate?BecauseIthenwaitedwithpatiencefortheblessingsoftheEternal,andreceivedhisgiftswiththegratefulfeelingsofathankfulheart.
  NOVEMBER8.
  Charlottehasreprovedmeformyexcesses,withsomuchtendernessandgoodness!Ihavelatelybeeninthehabitofdrinkingmorewinethanheretofore."Don'tdoit,"shesaid."ThinkofCharlotte!""Thinkofyou!"Ianswered;"needyoubidmedoso?Thinkofyou——Idonotthinkofyou:youareeverbeforemysoul!ThisverymorningIsatonthespotwhere,afewdaysago,youdescendedfromthecarriage,and——"Sheimmediatelychangedthesubjecttopreventmefrompursuingitfarther.Mydearfriend,myenergiesareallprostrated:shecandowithmewhatshepleases.
  NOVEMBER15.
  Ithankyou,Wilhelm,foryourcordialsympathy,foryourexcellentadvice;andIimploreyoutobequiet.Leavemetomysufferings.Inspiteofmywretchedness,Ihavestillstrengthenoughforendurance.Ireverereligion——youknowIdo.Ifeelthatitcanimpartstrengthtothefeebleandcomforttotheafflicted,butdoesitaffectallmenequally?Considerthisvastuniverse:youwillseethousandsforwhomithasneverexisted,thousandsforwhomitwillneverexist,whetheritbepreachedtothem,ornot;andmustit,then,necessarilyexistforme?DoesnottheSonofGodhimselfsaythattheyarehiswhomtheFatherhasgiventohim?HaveIbeengiventohim?WhatiftheFatherwillretainmeforhimself,asmyheartsometimessuggests?Iprayyou,donotmisinterpretthis.Donotextractderisionfrommyharmlesswords.Ipouroutmywholesoulbeforeyou.Silencewereotherwisepreferabletome,butIneednotshrinkfromasubjectofwhichfewknowmorethanIdomyself.Whatisthedestinyofman,buttofillupthemeasureofhissufferings,andtodrinkhisallottedcupofbitterness?AndifthatsamecupprovedbittertotheGodofheaven,underahumanform,whyshouldIaffectafoolishpride,andcallitsweet?WhyshouldIbeashamedofshrinkingatthatfearfulmoment,whenmywholebeingwilltremblebetweenexistenceandannihilation,whenaremembranceofthepast,likeaflashoflightning,willilluminatethedarkgulfoffuturity,wheneverythingshalldissolvearoundme,andthewholeworldvanishaway?Isnotthisthevoiceofacreatureoppressedbeyondallresource,self-deficient,abouttoplungeintoinevitabledestruction,andgroaningdeeplyatitsinadequatestrength,"MyGod!myGod!whyhastthouforsakenme?"AndshouldIfeelashamedtoutterthesameexpression?ShouldInotshudderataprospectwhichhaditsfears,evenforhimwhofoldsuptheheavenslikeagarment?
  NOVEMBER21.
  Shedoesnotfeel,shedoesnotknow,thatsheispreparingapoisonwhichwilldestroyusboth;andIdrinkdeeplyofthedraughtwhichistoprovemydestruction.Whatmeanthoselooksofkindnesswithwhichsheoften——often?no,notoften,butsometimes,regardsme,thatcomplacencywithwhichshehearstheinvoluntarysentimentswhichfrequentlyescapeme,andthetenderpityformysufferingswhichappearsinhercountenance?
  Yesterday,whenItookleavesheseizedmebythehand,andsaid,"Adieu,dearWerther."DearWerther!Itwasthefirsttimesheevercalledmedear:thesoundsunkdeepintomyheart.Ihaverepeateditahundredtimes;andlastnight,ongoingtobed,andtalkingtomyselfofvariousthings,Isuddenlysaid,"Goodnight,dearWerther!"andthencouldnotbutlaughatmyself.
  NOVEMBER22.
  Icannotpray,"Leavehertome!"andyetsheoftenseemstobelongtome.Icannotpray,"Givehertome!"forsheisanother's.InthiswayIaffectmirthovermytroubles;and,ifIhadtime,Icouldcomposeawholelitanyofantitheses.
  NOVEMBER24.
  Sheissensibleofmysufferings.Thismorningherlookpiercedmyverysoul.Ifoundheralone,andshewassilent:shesteadfastlysurveyedme.Inolongersawinherfacethecharmsofbeautyorthefireofgenius:thesehaddisappeared.ButIwasaffectedbyanexpressionmuchmoretouching,alookofthedeepestsympathyandofthesoftestpity.WhywasIafraidtothrowmyselfatherfeet?WhydidInotdaretotakeherinmyarms,andanswerherbyathousandkisses?Shehadrecoursetoherpianoforrelief,andinalowandsweetvoiceaccompaniedthemusicwithdelicioussounds.Herlipsneverappearedsolovely:theyseemedbutjusttoopen,thattheymightimbibethesweettoneswhichissuedfromtheinstrument,andreturntheheavenlyvibrationfromherlovelymouth.Oh!whocanexpressmysensations?Iwasquiteovercome,and,bendingdown,pronouncedthisvow:"Beautifullips,whichtheangelsguard,neverwillIseektoprofaneyourpuritywithakiss."Andyet,myfriend,oh,Iwish——butmyheartisdarkenedbydoubtandindecision——couldIbuttastefelicity,andthendietoexpiatethesin!Whatsin?
  NOVEMBER26.
  OftentimesIsaytomyself,"Thoualoneartwretched:allothermortalsarehappy,nonearedistressedlikethee!"ThenIreadapassageinanancientpoet,andIseemtounderstandmyownheart.Ihavesomuchtoendure!Havemenbeforemeeverbeensowretched?
  NOVEMBER30.
  Ishallneverbemyselfagain!WhereverIgo,somefatalityoccurstodistractme.Evento-dayalas——forourdestiny!alasforhumannature!
  Aboutdinner-timeIwenttowalkbytheriver-side,forIhadnoappetite.Everythingaroundseemedgloomy:acoldanddampeasterlywindblewfromthemountains,andblack,heavycloudsspreadovertheplain.Iobservedatadistanceamaninatatteredcoat:hewaswanderingamongtherocks,andseemedtobelookingforplants.WhenIapproached,heturnedroundatthenoise;andIsawthathehadaninterestingcountenanceinwhichasettledmelancholy,stronglymarkedbybenevolence,formedtheprincipalfeature.Hislongblackhairwasdivided,andflowedoverhisshoulders.Ashisgarbbetokenedapersonofthelowerorder,IthoughthewouldnottakeitillifIinquiredabouthisbusiness;andIthereforeaskedwhathewasseeking.Hereplied,withadeepsigh,thathewaslookingforflowers,andcouldfindnone."Butitisnottheseason,"Iobserved,withasmile."Oh,therearesomanyflowers!"heanswered,ashecamenearertome."Inmygardentherearerosesandhoneysucklesoftwosorts:onesortwasgiventomebymyfather!theygrowasplentifullyasweeds;Ihavebeenlookingforthemthesetwodays,andcannotfindthem.Thereareflowersoutthere,yellow,blue,andred;andthatcentauryhasaveryprettyblossom:butIcanfindnoneofthem."Iobservedhispeculiarity,andthereforeaskedhim,withanairofindifference,whatheintendedtodowithhisflowers.Astrangesmileoverspreadhiscountenance.Holdinghisfingertohismouth,heexpressedahopethatIwouldnotbetrayhim;andhetheninformedmethathehadpromisedtogatheranosegayforhismistress."Thatisright,"saidI."Oh!"hereplied,"shepossessesmanyotherthingsaswell:sheisveryrich.""Andyet,"Icontinued,"shelikesyournosegays.""Oh,shehasjewelsandcrowns!"heexclaimed.Iaskedwhoshewas."Ifthestates-generalwouldbutpayme,"headded,"Ishouldbequiteanotherman.Alas!therewasatimewhenIwassohappy;butthatispast,andIamnow——"Heraisedhisswimmingeyestoheaven."Andyouwerehappyonce?"Iobserved."Ah,wouldIweresostill!"washisreply."Iwasthenasgayandcontentedasamancanbe."Anoldwoman,whowascomingtowardus,nowcalledout,"Henry,Henry!whereareyou?Wehavebeenlookingforyoueverywhere:cometodinner.""Isheyourson?"Iinquired,asIwenttowardher."Yes,"shesaid:"heismypoor,unfortunateson.TheLordhassentmeaheavyaffliction."Iaskedwhetherhehadbeenlonginthisstate.Sheanswered,"Hehasbeenascalmasheisatpresentforaboutsixmonths.IthankHeaventhathehassofarrecovered:hewasforonewholeyearquiteraving,andchaineddowninamadhouse.Nowheinjuresnoone,buttalksofnothingelsethankingsandqueens.Heusedtobeaverygood,quietyouth,andhelpedtomaintainme;hewroteaveryfinehand;butallatoncehebecamemelancholy,wasseizedwithaviolentfever,grewdistracted,andisnowasyousee.IfIwereonlytotellyou,sir——"Iinterruptedherbyaskingwhatperioditwasinwhichheboastedofhavingbeensohappy."Poorboy!"sheexclaimed,withasmileofcormpassion,"hemeansthetimewhenhewascompletelyderanged,atimeheneverceasestoregret,whenhewasinthemadhouse,andunconsciousofeverything."Iwasthunderstruck:Iplacedapieceofmoneyinherhand,andhastenedaway.
  "Youwerehappy!"Iexclaimed,asIreturnedquicklytothetown,"'asgayandcontentedasamancanbe!'"Godofheaven!andisthisthedestinyofman?Isheonlyhappybeforehehasacquiredhisreason,orafterhehaslostit?Unfortunatebeing!AndyetIenvyyourfate:Ienvythedelusiontowhichyouareavictim.Yougoforthwithjoytogatherflowersforyourprincess,——inwinter,——andgrievewhenyoucanfindnone,andcannotunderstandwhytheydonotgrow.ButIwanderforthwithoutjoy,withouthope,withoutdesign;andIreturnasIcame.Youfancywhatamanyouwouldbeifthestatesgeneralpaidyou.Happymortal,whocanascribeyourwretchednesstoanearthlycause!Youdonotknow,youdonotfeel,thatinyourowndistractedheartanddisorderedbraindwellsthesourceofthatunhappinesswhichallthepotentatesonearthcannotrelieve.
  Letthatmandieunconsoledwhocanderidetheinvalidforundertakingajourneytodistant,healthfulsprings,whereheoftenfindsonlyaheavierdiseaseandamorepainfuldeath,orwhocanexultoverthedespairingmindofasinner,who,toobtainpeaceofconscienceandanalleviationofmisery,makesapilgrimagetotheHolySepulchre.Eachlaboriousstepwhichgallshiswoundedfeetinroughanduntroddenpathspoursadropofbalmintohistroubledsoul,andthejourneyofmanyawearydaybringsanightlyrelieftohisanguishedheart.Willyoudarecallthisenthusiasm,yecrowdofpompousdeclaimers?Enthusiasm!0God!thouseestmytears.Thouhastallottedusourportionofmisery:mustwealsohavebrethrentopersecuteus,todepriveusofourconsolation,ofourtrustinthee,andinthyloveandmercy?Forourtrustinthevirtueofthehealingroot,orinthestrengthofthevine,whatisitelsethanabeliefintheefromwhomallthatsurroundsusderivesitshealingandrestoringpowers?Father,whomIknownot,——whowertoncewonttofillmysoul,butwhonowhidestthyfacefromme,——callmebacktothee;besilentnolonger;thysilenceshallnotdelayasoulwhichthirstsafterthee.Whatman,whatfather,couldbeangrywithasonforreturningtohimsuddenly,forfallingonhisneck,andexclaiming,"Iamhereagain,myfather!forgivemeifIhaveanticipatedmyjourney,andreturnedbeforetheappointedtime!Theworldiseverywherethesame,——asceneoflabourandpain,ofpleasureandreward;butwhatdoesitallavail?Iamhappyonlywherethouart,andinthypresenceamIcontenttosufferorenjoy."Andwouldstthou,heavenlyFather,banishsuchachildfromthypresence?
  DECEMBER1.
  Wilhelm,themanaboutwhomIwrotetoyou——thatmansoenviableinhismisfortunes——wassecretarytoCharlotte'sfather;andanunhappypassionforherwhichhecherished,concealed,andatlengthdiscovered,causedhimtobedismissedfromhissituation.Thismadehimmad.Think,whilstyouperusethisplainnarration,whatanimpressionthecircumstancehasmadeuponme!ButitwasrelatedtomebyAlbertwithasmuchcalmnessasyouwillprobablyperuseit.
  DECEMBER4.
  Iimploreyourattention.Itisalloverwithme.Icansupportthisstatenolonger.To-dayIwassittingbyCharlotte.Shewasplayinguponherpianoasuccessionofdelightfulmelodies,withsuchintenseexpression!Herlittlesisterwasdressingherdolluponmylap.Thetearscameintomyeyes.Ileaneddown,andlookedintentlyatherwedding-ring:mytearsfell——immediatelyshebegantoplaythatfavourite,thatdivine,airwhichhassooftenenchantedme.Ifeltcomfortfromarecollectionofthepast,ofthosebygonedayswhenthatairwasfamiliartome;andthenIrecalledallthesorrowsandthedisappointmentswhichIhadsinceendured.Ipacedwithhastystridesthroughtheroom,myheartbecameconvulsedwithpainfulemotions.AtlengthIwentuptoher,andexclaimedWitheagerness,"ForHeaven'ssake,playthatairnolonger!"Shestopped,andlookedsteadfastlyatme.Shethensaid,withasmilewhichsunkdeepintomyheart,"Werther,youareill:yourdearestfoodisdistastefultoyou.Butgo,Ientreatyou,andendeavourtocomposeyourself."Itoremyselfaway.God,thouseestmytorments,andwiltendthem!
  DECEMBER6.
  Howherimagehauntsme!Wakingorasleep,shefillsmyentiresoul!SoonasIclosemyeyes,here,inmybrain,whereallthenervesofvisionareconcentrated,herdarkeyesareimprinted.Here——Idonotknowhowtodescribeit;but,ifIshutmyeyes,hersareimmediatelybeforeme:darkasanabysstheyopenuponme,andabsorbmysenses.
  Andwhatisman——thatboasteddemigod?Donothispowersfailwhenhemostrequirestheiruse?Andwhetherhesoarinjoy,orsinkinsorrow,isnothiscareerinbothinevitablyarrested?And,whilsthefondlydreamsthatheisgraspingatinfinity,doeshenotfeelcompelledtoreturntoaconsciousnessofhiscold,monotonousexistence?
  THEEDITORTOTHEREADER.
  Itisamatterofextremeregretthatwewantoriginalevidenceofthelastremarkabledaysofourfriend;andweare,therefore,obligedtointerrupttheprogressofhiscorrespondence,andtosupplythedeficiencybyaconnectednarration.
  Ihavefeltitmydutytocollectaccurateinformationfromthemouthsofpersonswellacquaintedwithhishistory.Thestoryissimple;andalltheaccountsagree,exceptinsomeunimportantparticulars.Itistrue,that,withrespecttothecharactersofthepersonsspokenof,opinionsandjudgmentsvary.
  Wehaveonly,then,torelateconscientiouslythefactswhichourdiligentlabourhasenabledustocollect,togivethelettersofthedeceased,andtopayparticularattentiontotheslightestfragmentfromhispen,moreespeciallyasitissodifficulttodiscovertherealandcorrectmotivesofmenwhoarenotofthecommonorder.
  SorrowanddiscontenthadtakendeeprootinWerther'ssoul,andgraduallyimpartedtheircharactertohiswholebeing.Theharmonyofhismindbecamecompletelydisturbed;aperpetualexcitementandmentalirritation,whichweakenedhisnaturalpowers,producedthesaddestetfectsuponhim,andrenderedhimatlengththevictimofanexhaustionagainstwhichhestruggledwithstillmorepainfuleffortsthanhehaddisplayed,evenincontendingwithhisothermisfortunes.Hismentalanxietyweakenedhisvariousgoodqualities;andhewassoonconvertedintoagloomycompanion,alwaysunhappyandunjustinhisideas,themorewretchedhebecame.Thiswas,atleast,theopinionofAlbert'sfriends.Theyassert,moreover,thatthecharacterofAlberthimselfhadundergonenochangeinthemeantime:hewasstillthesamebeingwhomWertherhadloved,honoured,andrespectedfromthecommencement.HisloveforCharlottewasunbounded:hewasproudofher,anddesiredthatsheshouldberecognisedbyeveryoneasthenoblestofcreatedbeings.Washe,however,toblameforwishingtoavertfromhereveryappearanceofsuspicion?orforhisunwillingnesstosharehisrichprizewithanother,evenforamoment,andinthemostinnocentmanner?ItisassertedthatAlbertfrequentlyretiredfromhiswife'sapartmentduringWerther'svisits;butthisdidnotarisefromhatredoraversiontohisfriend,butonlyfromafeelingthathispresencewasoppressivetoWerther.