Lifeisnotagameofchess,thevictorytothemostknowing;itisagameofcards,one’shandbyskilltobemadethebestof。Isitthewisestwhoisalwaysthemostsuccessful?Ithinknot。Theluckiestwhist-playerIevercameacrosswasamanwhowasneverQUITEcertainwhatweretrumps,andwhosemostfrequentobservationduringthegamewas"Ireallybegyourpardon,"addressedtohispartner;aremarkwhichgenerallyelicitedthereply,"Oh,don’tapologize。All’swellthatendswell。"ThemanIknewwhomadethemostrapidfortunewasabuilderintheoutskirtsofBirmingham,whocouldnotwritehisname,andwho,forthirtyyearsofhislife,neverwenttobedsober。Idonotsaythatforgetfulnessoftrumpsshouldbecultivatedbywhist-players。Ithinkmybuilderfriendmighthavebeenevenmoresuccessfulhadhelearnedtowritehisname,andhadheoccasionally——notoverdoingit——enjoyedasoberevening。AllIwishtoimpressis,thatvirtueisnottheroadtosuccess——ofthekindwearedealingwith。Wemustfindotherreasonsforbeingvirtuous;maybe,therearesome。Thetruthis,lifeisagamblepureandsimple,andtheruleswelaydownforsuccessareakintotheinfalliblesystemswithwhichacertainclassofidiotgoesarmedeachseasontoMonteCarlo。Wecanplaythegamewithcoolnessandjudgment,decidewhentoplungeandwhentostakesmall;buttothinkthatwisdomwilldecideit,istoimaginethatwehavediscoveredthelawofchance。Letusplaythegameoflifeassportsmen,pocketingourwinningswithasmile,leavingourlosingswithashrug。Perhapsthatiswhywehavebeensummonedtotheboardandthecardsdealtround:thatwemaylearnsomeofthevirtuesofthegoodgambler;hisself-control,hiscourageundermisfortune,hismodestyunderthestrainofsuccess,hisfirmness,hisalertness,hisgeneralindifferencetofate。Goodlessonsthese,allofthem。Ifbythegamewelearnsomeofthemourtimeonthegreenearthhasnotbeenwasted。Ifwerisefromthetablehavinglearnedonlyfretfulnessandself-pityIfearithasbeen。
ThegrimHallPortertapsatthedoor:"NumberFivehundredbillionandtwenty-eight,yourboatmaniswaiting,sir。"
So!isittimealready?Wepickupourcounters。Ofwhatusearethey?Inthecountrytheothersideoftherivertheyarenotender。Theblood-redforgold,andthepale-greenforlove,towhomshallweflingthem?Hereissomepoorbeggarlongingtoplay,letusgivethemtohimaswepassout。Poordevil!thegamewillamusehim——forawhile。
Keepyourpowderdry,andtrustinProvidence,isthemottoofthewise。Wetpowdercouldneverbeofanypossibleusetoyou。Dry,itmaybe,WITHthehelpofProvidence。WewillcallitProvidence,itisaprettiernamethanChance——perhapsalsoatruer。
Anothermistakewemakewhenwereasonoutourlivesisthis:wereasonasthoughwewereplanningforreasonablecreatures。Itisabigmistake。Well-meaningladiesandgentlemenmakeitwhentheypicturetheiridealworlds。Whenmarriageisreformed,andthesocialproblemsolved,whenpovertyandwarhavebeenabolishedbyacclamation,andsinandsorrowrescindedbyanoverwhelmingparliamentarymajority!Ah,thentheworldwillbeworthyofourlivinginit。Youneednotwait,ladiesandgentlemen,solongasyouthinkforthattime。Nosocialrevolutionisneeded,nosloweducationofthepeopleisnecessary。Itwouldallcomeaboutto-morrow,IFONLYWEWEREREASONABLECREATURES。
Imagineaworldofreasonablebeings!TheTenCommandmentswouldbeunnecessary:noreasoningbeingsins,noreasoningcreaturemakesmistakes。Therewouldbenorichmen,forwhatreasonablemancaresforluxuryandostentation?Therewouldbenopoor:thatIshouldeatenoughfortwowhilemybrotherinthenextstreet,asgoodamanasI,starves,isnotreasonable。Therewouldbenodifferenceofopiniononanytwopoints:thereisonlyonereason。You,dearReader,wouldfind,thatonallsubjectsyouwereofthesameopinionasI。Nonovelswouldbewritten,noplaysperformed;thelivesofreasonablecreaturesdonotafforddrama。Nomadloves,nomadlaughter,noscaldingtears,nofierceunreasoning,brief-livedjoys,nosorrows,nowilddreams——onlyreason,reasoneverywhere。
Butforthepresentweremainunreasonable。IfIeatthismayonnaise,drinkthischampagne,Ishallsufferinmyliver。Then,whydoIeatit?Juliaisacharminggirl,amiable,wise,andwitty;alsoshehasashareinabrewery。Then,whydoesJohnmarryAnn?whoisshort-tempered,tosaytheleastofit,who,hefeels,willnotmakehimsogoodahouse-wife,whohasextravagantnotions,whohasnolittlefortune。ThereissomethingaboutAnn’schinthatfascinateshim——hecouldnotexplaintoyouwhat。Onthewhole,Juliaisthebetter-lookingofthetwo。ButthemorehethinksofJulia,themoreheisdrawntowardsAnn。SoTommarriesJuliaandthebreweryfails,andJulia,onaholiday,contractsrheumaticfever,andisahelplessinvalidforlife;whileAnncomesinfortenthousandpoundslefttoherbyanAustralianunclenoonehadeverheardof,Ihavebeentoldofayoungman,whochosehiswifewithexcellentcare。Saidhetohimself,verywisely,"Intheselectionofawifeamancannotbetoocircumspect。"Heconvincedhimselfthatthegirlwaseverythingahelpmateshouldbe。Shehadeveryvirtuethatcouldbeexpectedinawoman,nofaults,butsuchasareinseparablefromawoman。Speakingpractically,shewasperfection。Hemarriedher,andfoundshewasallhehadthoughther。Onlyonethingcouldheurgeagainsther——thathedidnotlikeher。Andthat,ofcourse,wasnotherfault。
Howeasylifewouldbedidweknowourselves。Couldwealwaysbesurethattomorrowweshouldthinkaswedotoday。Wefallinloveduringasummerholiday;sheisfresh,delightful,altogethercharming;thebloodrushestoourheadeverytimewethinkofher。
Ouridealcareerisoneofperpetualserviceatherfeet。ItseemsimpossiblethatFatecouldbestowuponusanygreaterhappinessthantheprivilegeofcleaningherboots,andkissingthehemofhergarment——ifthehembealittlemuddythatwillpleaseusthemore。
Wetellherourambition,andatthatmomenteverywordweutterissincere。Butthesummerholidaypasses,andwithittheholidaymood,andwinterfindsuswonderinghowwearegoingtogetoutofthedifficultyintowhichwehavelandedourselves。Orworsestill,perhaps,themoodlastslongerthanisusual。Webecomeformallyengaged。Wemarry——Iwonderhowmanymarriagesaretheresultofapassionthatisburntoutbeforethealtar-railsarereached?——andthreemonthsafterwardsthelittlelassisbroken-heartedtofindthatweconsiderthelacingofherbootsabore。Herfeetseemtohavegrownbigger。Thereisnoexcuseforus,savethatwearesillychildren,neversureofwhatwearecryingfor,hurtingoneanotherinourplay,cryingveryloudlywhenhurtourselves。
IknewanAmericanladyoncewhousedtoboremewithlongaccountsofthebrutalitiesexerciseduponherbyherhusband。Shehadinstituteddivorceproceedingsagainsthim。Thetrialcameon,andshewashighlysuccessful。Weallcongratulatedher,andthenforsomemonthsshedroppedoutofmylife。Buttherecameadaywhenweagainfoundourselvestogether。Oneoftheproblemsofsociallifeistoknowwhattosaytooneanotherwhenwemeet;everymanandwoman’sdesireistoappearsympatheticandclever,andthismakesconversationdifficult,because,takingusallround,weareneithersympatheticnorclever——butthisbytheway。
Ofcourse,Ibegantotalktoheraboutherformerhusband。Iaskedherhowhewasgettingon。Sherepliedthatshethoughthewasverycomfortable。
"Marriedagain?"Isuggested。
"Yes,"sheanswered。
"Servehimright,"Iexclaimed,"andhiswifetoo。"Shewasapretty,bright-eyedlittlewoman,myAmericanfriend,andIwishedtoingratiatemyself。"Awomanwhowouldmarrysuchaman,knowingwhatshemusthaveknownofhim,issuretomakehimwretched,andwemaytrusthimtobeacursetoher。"
Myfriendseemedinclinedtodefendhim。
"Ithinkheisgreatlyimproved,"sheargued。
"Nonsense!"Ireturned,"amanneverimproves。Onceavillain,alwaysavillain。"
"Oh,hush!"shepleaded,"youmustn’tcallhimthat。"
"Whynot?"Ianswered。"Ihaveheardyoucallhimavillainyourself。"
"Itwaswrongofme,"shesaid,flushing。"I’mafraidhewasnottheonlyonetobeblamed;wewerebothfoolishinthosedays,butI
thinkwehavebothlearnedalesson。"
Iremainedsilent,waitingforthenecessaryexplanation。
"Youhadbettercomeandseehimforyourself,"sheadded,withalittlelaugh;"totellthetruth,Iamthewomanwhohasmarriedhim。Tuesdayismyday,Number2,K————Mansions,"andsheranoff,leavingmestaringafterher。
IbelieveanenterprisingclergymanwhowouldsetupalittlechurchintheStrand,justoutsidetheLawCourts,mightdoquiteatrade,re-marryingcoupleswhohadjustbeendivorced。Afriendofmine,arespondent,toldmehehadneverlovedhiswifemorethanontwooccasions——thefirstwhensherefusedhim,thesecondwhenshecameintothewitness-boxtogiveevidenceagainsthim。
"Youarecuriouscreatures,youmen,"remarkedaladyoncetoanothermaninmypresence。"Youneverseemtoknowyourownmind。"
Shewasfeelingannoyedwithmengenerally。Idonotblameher,I
feelannoyedwiththemmyselfsometimes。ThereisonemaninparticularIamalwaysfeelingintenselyirritatedagainst。Hesaysonething,andactsanother。Hewilltalklikeasaintandbehavelikeafool,knowswhatisrightanddoeswhatiswrong。Butwewillnotspeakfurtherofhim。Hewillbeallheshouldbeoneday,andthenwewillpackhimintoanice,comfortably-linedbox,andscrewtheliddowntightuponhim,andputhimawayinaquietlittlespotnearachurchIknowof,lestheshouldgetupandmisbehavehimselfagain。
Theotherman,whoisawisemanasmengo,lookedathisfaircriticwithasmile。
"Mydearmadam,"hereplied,"youareblamingthewrongperson。I
confessIdonotknowmymind,andwhatlittleIdoknowofitIdonotlike。Ididnotmakeit,Ididnotselectit。Iammoredissatisfiedwithitthanyoucanpossiblybe。Itisagreatermysterytomethanitistoyou,andIhavetolivewithit。Youshouldpitynotblameme。"
TherearemoodsinwhichIfalltoenvyingthoseoldhermitswhofrankly,andwithcourageouscowardice,shirkedtheproblemoflife。
TherearedayswhenIdreamofanexistenceunfetteredbythethousandpettystringswithwhichoursoulslieboundtoLilliputialand。IpicturemyselflivinginsomeNorwegiansater,highabovetheblackwatersofarockboundfiord。Nootherhumancreaturedisputeswithmemykingdom。Iamalonewiththewhisperingfirforestsandthestars。HowIliveIamnotquitesure。OnceamonthIcouldjourneydownintothevillagesandreturnladen。I
shouldnotneedmuch。Fortherest,mygunandfishing-rodwouldsupplyme。Iwouldhavewithmeacoupleofbigdogs,whowouldtalktomewiththeireyes,sofullofdumbthought,andtogetherwewouldwanderovertheuplands,seekingourdinner,aftertheoldprimitivefashionofthemenwhodreamtnotoften-coursedinnersandSavoysuppers。Iwouldcookthefoodmyself,andsitdowntothemealwithabottleofgoodwine,suchasstartsaman’sthoughts(forIaminconsistent,asIacknowledge,andthatgiftofcivilizationIwouldbearwithmeintomyhermitage)。Thenintheevening,withpipeinmouth,besidemylog-woodfire,Iwouldsitandthink,untilnewknowledgecametome。StrengthenedbythosesilentvoicesthataredrownedintheroarofStreetland,Imight,perhaps,growintosomethingnearertowhatitwasintendedthatamanshouldbe——mightcatchaglimpse,perhaps,ofthemeaningoflife。
No,no,mydearlady,intothislifeofrenunciationIwouldnottakeacompanion,certainlynotofthesexyouarethinkingof,evenwouldshecaretocome,whichIdoubt。Therearetimeswhenamanisbetterwithoutthewoman,whenawomanisbetterwithouttheman。
Lovedragsusfromthedepths,makesmenandwomenofus,butifwewouldclimbalittlenearertothestarswemustsaygood-byetoit。
Wemenandwomendonotshowourselvestoeachotheratourbest;
toooften,Ifear,atourworst。Thewoman’shighestidealofmanisthelover;toamanthewomanisalwaysthepossiblebeloved。Weseeeachother’shearts,butnoteachother’ssouls。Ineachother’spresencewenevershakeourselvesfreefromtheearth。
Match-makingmotherNatureisalwaysathandtopromptus。Awomanliftsusupintomanhood,butthereshewouldhaveusstay。"Climbuptome,"shecriestothelad,walkingwithsoiledfeetinmuddyways;"beatruemanthatyoumaybeworthytowalkbymyside;bebravetoprotectme,kindandtender,andtrue;butclimbnohigher,stayherebymyside。"Themartyr,theprophet,theleaderoftheworld’sforlornhopes,shewouldwakefromhisdream。Herarmsshewouldflingabouthisneckholdinghimdown。
Tothewomanthemansays,"Youaremywife。HereisyourAmerica,withinthesewalls,hereisyourwork,yourduty。"True,inninehundredandninety-ninecasesoutofeverythousand,butmenandwomenarenotmadeinmoulds,andtheworld’sworkisvarious。
Sometimestohersorrow,awoman’sworkliesbeyondthehome。ThedutyofMarywasnottoJoseph。
Theherointhepopularnovelistheyoungmanwhosays,"Iloveyoubetterthanmysoul。"Ourfavouriteheroineinfictionisthewomanwhocriestoherlover,"IwouldgodownintoHelltobewithyou。"
Therearemenandwomenwhocannotanswerthus——themenwhodreamdreams,thewomenwhoseevisions——impracticablepeoplefromtheBayswaterpointofview。ButBayswaterwouldnotbetheabodeofpeaceitishaditnotbeenforsuch。
Havewenotplacedsexualloveonapedestalhigherthanitdeserves?Itisanoblepassion,butitisnotthenoblest。Thereisawiderlovebythesideofwhichitisbutasthelampilluminingthecottage,tothemoonlightbathingthehillsandvalleys。Thereweretwowomenonce。ThisisaplayIsawactedinthedaylight。Theyhadbeenfriendsfromgirlhood,tilltherecamebetweenthemtheusualtrouble——aman。Aweak,prettycreaturenotworthathoughtfromeitherofthem;butwomenlovetheunworthy;
therewouldbenoover-populationproblemdidtheynot;andthispoorspecimen,ill-luckhadordainedtheyshouldcontendfor。
Theirrivalrybroughtoutallthatwasworstinbothofthem。Itisamistaketosupposeloveonlyelevates;itcandebase。Itwasameanstruggleforwhattoanonlookermusthaveappearedaremarkablyunsatisfyingprize。Thelosermightwellhavelefttheconquerortoherpoortriumph,evengrantingithadbeengainedunfairly。Buttheold,ugly,primevalpassionshadbeenstirredinthesewomen,andthewedding-bellsclosedonlythefirstact。
Thesecondisnotdifficulttoguess。ItwouldhaveendedintheDivorceCourthadnotthedesertedwifefeltthatafinerrevengewouldbesecuredtoherbysilence。
Inthethird,afteranintervalofonlyeighteenmonths,themandied——thefirstpieceofgoodfortunethatseemstohaveoccurredtohimpersonallythroughouttheplay。Hispositionmusthavebeenanexceedinglyanxiousonefromthebeginning。Notwithstandinghisflabbiness,onecannotbutregardhimwithacertainamountofpity——
notunmixedwithamusement。Mostoflife’sdramascanbeviewedaseitherfarceortragedyaccordingtothewhimofthespectator。Theactorsinvariablyplaythemastragedy;butthenthatistheessenceofgoodfarceacting。
Thuswassecuredthetriumphoflegalvirtueandthepunishmentofirregularity,andtheplaymightbedismissedasuninterestinglyorthodoxwereitnotforthefourthact,showinghowthewrongedwifecametothewomanshehadoncewrongedtoaskandgrantforgiveness。Strangelyasitmaysound,theyfoundtheirloveforoneanotherunchanged。Theyhadbeenlongparted:itwassweettoholdeachother’shandsagain。Twolonelywomen,theyagreedtolivetogether。Thosewhoknewthemwellinthislatertimesaythattheirlifewasverybeautiful,filledwithgraciousnessandnobility。
Idonotsaythatsuchastorycouldeverbecommon,butitismoreprobablethantheworldmightcredit。Sometimesthemanisbetterwithoutthewoman,thewomanwithouttheman。
ONTHENOBILITYOFOURSELVES
ANoldAnglicizedFrenchman,Iusedtomeetofteninmyearlierjournalisticdays,heldatheory,concerningman’sfuturestate,thathassincecometoaffordmemorefoodforreflectionthan,atthetime,Ishouldhavedeemedpossible。Hewasabright-eyed,eagerlittleman。OnefeltnoLotuslandcouldbeParadisetohim。
Webuildourheavenofthestonesofourdesires:totheold,red-beardedNorseman,afoetofightandacuptodrain;totheartisticGreek,agroveofanimatedstatuary;totheRedIndian,hishappyhuntingground;totheTurk,hisharem;totheJew,hisNewJerusalem,pavedwithgold;toothers,accordingtotheirtaste,limitedbytherangeoftheirimagination。
Fewthingshadmoreterrorsforme,whenachild,thanHeaven——aspicturedformebycertainofthegoodfolksroundaboutme。IwastoldthatifIwereagoodlad,keptmyhairtidy,anddidnotteasethecat,Iwouldprobably,whenIdied,gotoaplacewherealldaylongIwouldsitstillandsinghymns。(Thinkofit!asrewardtoahealthyboyforbeinggood。)Therewouldbenobreakfastandnodinner,noteaandnosupper。Oneoldladycheeredmealittlewithahintthatthemonotonymightbebrokenbyalittlemanna;buttheideaofeverlastingmannapalleduponme,andmysuggestions,concerningthepossibilitiesofsherbetorjumbles,werescoutedasirreverent。Therewouldbenoschool,butalsotherewouldbenocricketandnorounders。Ishouldfeelnodesire,soIwasassured,todoanotherangel’s"dags"byslidingdowntheheavenlybanisters。
Myonlyjoywouldbetosing。
"Shallwestartsingingthemomentwegetupinthemorning?"I
asked。
"Therewon’tbeanymorning,"wastheanswer。"Therewillbenodayandnonight。Itwillallbeonelongdaywithoutend。"
"Andshallwealwaysbesinging?"Ipersisted。
"Yes,youwillbesohappy,youwillalwayswanttosing。"
"Shan’tIevergettired?"
"No,youwillnevergettired,andyouwillnevergetsleepyorhungryorthirsty。"
"Anddoesitgoonlikethatforever?"
"Yes,foreverandever。"
"Willitgoonforamillionyears?"
"Yes,amillionyears,andthenanothermillionyears,andthenanothermillionyearsafterthat。Therewillneverbeanyendtoit。"
Icanremembertothisdaytheagonyofthosenights,whenIwouldlieawake,thinkingofthisendlessheaven,fromwhichthereseemedtobenopossibleescape。Fortheotherplacewasequallyeternal,orImighthavebeentemptedtoseekrefugethere。
Wegrown-upfolk,ourbrainsdulledbytheslowlyacquiredhabitofnotthinking,dowrongtotorturechildrenwiththeseawfulthemes。
Eternity,Heaven,Hellaremeaninglesswordstous。Werepeatthem,aswegabbleourprayers,tellingoursmug,self-satisfiedselvesthatwearemiserablesinners。Buttothechild,the"intelligentstranger"intheland,seekingtoknow,theyarefearfulrealities。
Ifyoudoubtme,Reader,standbyyourself,beneaththestars,onenight,andSOLVEthisthought,Eternity。YournextaddressshallbetheCountyLunaticAsylum。
MyactivelyinclinedFrenchfriendheldcheerierviewsthanarecommonofman’slifebeyondthegrave。Hisbeliefwasthatweweredestinedtoconstantchange,toeverlastingwork。Weweretopassthroughtheolderplanets,tolabourinthegreatersuns。
Butforsuchadvancedcareeramorecapablebeingwasneeded。Nooneofuswassufficient,heargued,tobegrantedafutureexistencealltohimself。Hisideawasthattwoorthreeorfourofus,accordingtoourintrinsicvalue,wouldbecombinedtomakeanewandmoreimportantindividuality,fittedforahigherexistence。
Man,hepointedout,wasalreadyacollectionofthebeasts。"YouandI,"hewouldsay,tappingfirstmychestandthenhisown,"wehavethemallhere——theape,thetiger,thepig,themotherlyhen,thegamecock,thegoodant;weareall,rolledintoone。Sothemanofthefuture,hewillbemadeupofmanymen——thecourageofone,thewisdomofanother,thekindlinessofathird。"
"TakeaCityman,"hewouldcontinue,"saytheLordMayor;addtohimapoet,saySwinburne;mixthemwithareligiousenthusiast,sayGeneralBooth。Thereyouwillhavethemanfitforthehigherlife。"
GaribaldiandBismarck,heheld,shouldmakeaveryfinemixture,correctingoneanother;ifneedful,extractofIbsenmightbeadded,asseasoning。HethoughtthatIrishpoliticianswouldmixadmirablywithScotchdivines;thatOxfordDonswouldgowellwithladynovelists。HewasconvincedthatCountTolstoi,afewGaietyJohnnies(wecalledthem"mashers"inthosedays),togetherwithahumourist——hewaskindenoughtosuggestmyself——wouldproducesomethingverychoice。QueenElizabeth,hefancied,wasprobablybeingreservedtogo——letushopeinthelongdistantfuture——withOuida。Itsoundsawhimsicaltheory,setdownhereinmywords,nothis;buttheoldfellowwassomuchinearnestthatfewofuseverthoughttolaughashetalked。Indeed,thereweremomentsonstarrynights,aswalkinghomefromtheoffice,wewouldpauseonWaterlooBridgetoenjoythewitcheryofthelonglineoftheEmbankmentlights,whenIcouldalmostbelieve,asIlistenedtohim,inthenotimpossibilityofhisdreams。
Evenasregardsthisworld,itwouldoftenbeagain,onethinks,andnoloss,ifsomehalf-dozenofuswererolledtogether,orboileddown,orwhatevertheprocessnecessarymightbe,andsomethingmadeoutofusinthatway。
Havenotyou,myfairReader,sometimesthoughttoyourselfwhatadelightfulhusbandTomthis,plusHarrythat,plusDicktheother,wouldmake?Tomisalwayssocheerfulandgood-tempered,yetyoufeelthatintheseriousmomentsoflifehewouldbelacking。A
delightfulhubbywhenyoufeltmerry,yes;butyouwouldnotgotohimforcomfortandstrengthinyourtroubles,nowwouldyou?No,inyourhourofsorrow,howgooditwouldbetohavenearyougrave,earnestHarry。Heisa"goodsort,"Harry。Perhaps,afterall,heisthebestofthethree——solid,staunch,andtrue。Whatapityheisjustatriflecommonplaceandunambitious。Yourfriends,notknowinghissterlinghiddenqualities,wouldhardlyenvyyou;andahusbandthatnoothergirlenviesyou——well,thatwouldhardlybesatisfactory,wouldit?Dick,ontheotherhand,iscleverandbrilliant。Hewillmakehisway;therewillcomeaday,youareconvinced,whenawomanwillbeproudtobearhisname。Ifonlyhewerenotsoself-centred,ifonlyheweremoresympathetic。
Butacombinationofthethree,orratherofthebestqualitiesofthethree——Tom’sgoodtemper,Harry’stenderstrength,Dick’sbrilliantmasterfulness:thatisthemanwhowouldbeworthyofyou。
ThewomanDavidCopperfieldwantedwasAgnesandDorarolledintoone。Hehadtotakethemoneaftertheother,whichwasnotsonice。AnddidhereallyloveAgnes,Mr。Dickens;ormerelyfeelheoughtto?Forgiveme,butIamdoubtfulconcerningthatsecondmarriageofCopperfield’s。Come,strictlybetweenourselves,Mr。
Dickens,wasnotDavid,goodhumansoul!nowandagainaweebitboredbytheimmaculateAgnes?Shemadehimanexcellentwife,Iamsure。SHEneverorderedoystersbythebarrel,unopened。Itwould,onanyday,havebeensafetoaskTraddleshometodinner;infact,Sophieandthewholerose-gardenmighthaveaccompaniedhim,Agneswouldhavebeenequaltotheoccasion。Thedinnerwouldhavebeenperfectlycookedandserved,andAgnes’sweetsmilewouldhavepervadedthemeal。ButAFTERthedinner,whenDavidandTraddlessatsmokingalone,whilefromthedrawing-roomdrifteddownthenotesofhigh-class,elevatingmusic,playedbythesaintlyAgnes,didtheynever,glancingcovertlytowardstheemptychairbetweenthem,seethelaughing,curl-framedfaceofaveryfoolishlittlewoman——oneofthosefoolishlittlewomenthatawisemanthanksGodformaking——andwish,inspiteofall,thatitwerefleshandblood,notshadow?
Oh,youfoolishwisefolk,whowouldremodelhumannature!Cannotyouseehowgreatistheworkgivenuntochildishhands?Thinkyouthatinwell-orderedhousekeepingandhigh-classconversationliesthewholemakingofaman?FoolishDora,fashionedbycleveroldmagicianNature,whoknowsthatweaknessandhelplessnessareasatalismancallingforthstrengthandtendernessinman,troubleyourselfnotundulyaboutthoseoystersnortheunderdonemutton,littlewoman。Goodplaincooksattwentypoundsayearwillseetothesethingsforus;and,nowandthen,whenawindfallcomesourway,wewilldinetogetheratamoderate-pricedrestaurantwherethesethingsaremanagedevenbetter。Yourwork,Dear,istoteachusgentlenessandkindliness。Layyourcurlshere,child。Itisfromsuchasyouthatwelearnwisdom。Foolishwisefolksneeratyou;foolishwisefolkwouldpulluptheuselesslilies,theneedlessroses,fromthegarden,wouldplantintheirplacesonlyserviceablewholesomecabbage。ButtheGardenerknowingbetter,plantsthesillyshort-livedflowers;foolishwisefolk,askingforwhatpurpose。
AsforAgnes,Mr。Dickens,doyouknowwhatshealwaysmakesmethinkof?Youwillnotmindmysaying?——thewomanonereadsabout。
Frankly,Idon’tbelieveinher。IdonotrefertoAgnesinparticular,butthewomanofwhomsheisatype,thefaultlesswomanwereadof。Womenhavemanyfaults,but,thankGod,theyhaveoneredeemingvirtue——theyarenoneofthemfaultless。
Buttheheroineoffiction!oh,aterribledragonofvirtueisshe。
Mayheavenpreserveuspoormen,undeservingthoughwebe,fromalifewiththeheroineoffiction。Sheisallsoul,andheart,andintellect,withneverabitofhumannaturetocatchholdofherby。
Herbeauty,itappalsone,itissopainfullyindescribable。Whencecomesshe,whithergoesshe,whydowenevermeetherlike?OfwomenIknowagoodishfew,andIlookamongthemforherprototype;
butIfinditnot。Theyarecharming,theyarebeautiful,allthesewomenthatIknow。Itwouldnotberightformetotellyou,Ladies,theesteemandvenerationwithwhichIregardyouall。Youyourselves,blushing,wouldbethefirsttocheekmyardour。Butyet,dearLadies,seeneventhroughmyeyes,youcomenotneartheladiesthatIreadabout。Youarenot——ifImaybepermittedanexpressivevulgarism——inthesamestreetwiththem。YourbeautyI
canlookupon,andretainmyreason——forwhatevervaluethatmaybetome。Yourconversation,Iadmit,iscleverandbrilliantintheextreme;yourknowledgevastandvarious;yourculturequiteBostonian;yetyoudonot——Ihardlyknowhowtoexpressit——youdonotshinewiththesixteenfull-moon-poweroftheheroineoffiction。Youdonot——andIthankyouforit——impressmewiththeideathatyouaretheonlywomenonearth。You,evenyou,possesstempersofyourown。Iaminclinedtothinkyoutakeaninterestinyourclothes。Iwouldnotbesure,even,thatyoudonotminglealittleof"yourownhair"(youknowwhatImean)withthehairofyourhead。Thereisinyourtemperamentaveinofvanity,asuggestionofselfishness,aspiceoflaziness。Ihaveknownyouatrifleunreasonable,alittleinconsiderate,slightlyexacting。
Unliketheheroineoffiction,youhaveacertainnumberofhumanappetitesandinstincts;afewhumanfollies,perhaps,ahumanfault,orshallwesaytwo?Inshort,dearLadies,youalso,evenaswemen,arethechildrenofAdamandEve。Tellme,ifyouknow,whereImaymeetwiththissupernaturalsisterofyours,thiswomanthatonereadsabout。Sheneverkeepsanyonewaitingwhileshedoesherbackhair,sheisneverindignantwitheverybodyelseinthehousebecauseshecannotfindherownboots,sheneverscoldstheservants,sheisnevercrosswiththechildren,sheneverslamsthedoor,sheisneverjealousofheryoungersister,sheneverlingersatthegatewithanycousinbuttherightone。
Dearme,whereDOtheykeepthem,thesewomenthatonereadsabout?
IsupposewheretheykeeptheprettygirlofArt。Youhaveseenher,haveyounot,Reader,theprettygirlinthepicture?Sheleapsthesix-barredgatewithayardandahalftospare,turningroundinhersaddlethewhiletomakesomesmilingremarktothecomicmanbehind,who,ofcourse,isstandingonhisheadintheditch。ShefloatsgracefullyoffDieppeonstormymornings。Herbaigneuse——generallyofchiffonandoldpointlace——hasnotlostacurve。Theolderladies,bathingroundher,lookwet。Theirdressclingsdamplytotheirlimbs。ButtheprettygirlofArtdives,andneveracurlofherhairisdisarranged。TheprettygirlofArtstandslightlyontip-toeandvolleysatennis-ballsixfeetaboveherhead。TheprettygirlofArtkeepstheheadofthepuntstraightagainstastiffcurrentandastrongwind。SHEnevergetsthewateruphersleeve,anddownherback,andalloverthecushions。HERpoleneversticksinthemud,withthesteamlaunchtenyardsoffandthemanlookingtheotherway。TheprettygirlofArtskatesinhigh-heeledFrenchshoesatanangleofforty-fivetothesurfaceoftheice,bothhandsinhermuff。SHEneversitsdownplump,withherfeetayardapart,andsays"Ough。"TheprettygirlofArtdrivestandemdownPiccadilly,duringtheheightoftheseason,ateighteenmilesanhour。ItneveroccurstoHERleaderthatthetimehasnowarrivedforhimtoturnroundandgetintothecart。TheprettygirlofArtridesherbicyclethroughthetownonmarketday,carryingabasketofeggs,andsmilingrightandleft。
SHEneverthrowsawaybothherhandlesandrunsintoacow。TheprettygirlofArtgoestroutfishinginopen-workstockings,underablazingsun,withabunchofdew-bespangledprimrosesinherhair;
andeverytimeshegracefullyflicksherrodshehaulsoutasalmon。
SHEnevertiesherselfuptoatree,orhooksthedog。SHEnevercomeshome,soakedanddisagreeable,totellyouthatshecaughtsix,butputthemallbackagain,becausetheyweremerelytwoorthree-pounders,andnotworththetroubleofcarrying。TheprettygirlofArtplayscroquetwithonehand,andlooksasifsheenjoyedthegame。SHEnevertriestoaccidentallykickherballintopositionwhennobodyisnoticing,orstandsitoutthatsheisthroughahoopthatsheknowssheisn’t。
Sheisagood,all-roundsportswoman,istheprettygirlinthepicture。TheonlythingIhavetosayagainstheristhatshemakesonedissatisfiedwiththegirloutofthepicture——thegirlwhomistakesapuntforateetotum,sothatyoulandfeelingasifyouhadhadadayintheBayofBiscay;andwho,everynowandagain,stunsyouwiththethickendofthepole:thegirlwhodoesnotskatewithherhandsinhermuff;butwho,throwingthemuptoheaven,says,"I’mgoing,"andwhogoes,takingcarethatyougowithher:thegirlwho,asyoubrushherdown,andtrytocomforther,explainstoyouindignantlythatthehorsetookthecornertoosharplyandnevernoticedthemile-stone;thegirlwhosehairseawaterdoesNOTimprove。
Therecanbenodoubtaboutit:thatiswheretheykeepthegoodwomanofFiction,wheretheykeeptheprettygirlofArt。
Doesitnotoccurtoyou,MessieurslesAuteurs,thatyouaresadlydisturbingus?ThesewomenthatareacombinationofVenus,St。
Cecilia,andElizabethFry!youpaintthemforusinyourglowingpages:itisnotkindofyou,knowing,asyoumust,thewomenwehavetoputupwith。
Wouldwenotbehappier,wemenandwomen,werewetoidealizeoneanotherless?Mydearyounglady,youhavenothingwhatevertocomplaintoFateabout,Iassureyou。Unclaspthoseprettyhandsofyours,andcomeawayfromthedarkeningwindow。Jackisasgoodafellowasyoudeserve;don’tyearnsomuch。SirGalahad,mydear——
SirGalahadridesandfightsinthelandthatliesbeyondthesunset,farenoughawayfromthisnoisylittleearthwhereyouandI
spendmuchofourtimetittle-tattling,flirting,wearingfineclothes,andgoingtoshows。Andbesides,youmustremember,SirGalahadwasabachelor:asanidealisthewaswise。YourJackisbynomeansabadsortofknight,asknightsgonowadaysinthisun-
idyllicworld。Thereismuchsolidhonestyabouthim,andhedoesnotpose。Heisnotexceptional,Igrantyou;but,mydear,haveyouevertriedtheexceptionalman?Yes,heisveryniceinadrawing-room,anditisinterestingtoreadabouthimintheSocietypapers:youwillfindmostofhisgoodqualitiesthere:takemyadvice,don’tlookintohimtooclosely。YoubecontentwithJack,andthankheavenheisnoworse。Wearenotsaints,wemen——noneofus,andourbeautifulthoughts,Ifear,wewriteinpoetrynotaction。TheWhiteKnight,mydearyounglady,withhispuresoul,hisheroicheart,hislife’sdevotiontoanobleendeavour,doesnotlivedownheretoanygreatextent。Theyhavetriedit,oneortwoofthem,andtheworld——youandI:theworldismadeupofyouandI——hasgenerallystarved,andhootedthem。Therearenotmanyofthemleftnow:doyouthinkyouwouldcaretobethewifeofone,supposingoneweretobefoundforyou?WouldyoucaretolivewithhimintwofurnishedroomsinClerkenwell,diewithhimonachairbedstead?Acenturyhencetheywillputupastatuetohim,andyoumaybehonouredasthewifewhosharedwithhimhissufferings。Doyouthinkyouarewomanenoughforthat?Ifnot,thankyourstarsyouhavesecured,foryourownexclusiveuse,oneofusUNexceptionalmen,whoknowsnobetterthantoadmireyou。YOUarenotexceptional。
Andinusordinarymenthereissomegood。Itwantsfinding,thatisall。Wearenotsocommonplaceasyouthinkus。EvenyourJack,fondofhisdinner,hisconversationfour-corneredbytheSportingPress——yes,Iagreeheisnotinteresting,ashesitssnoringintheeasy-chair;but,believeitornot,therearethemakingsofagreatheroinJack,ifFatewouldbutbekindertohim,andshakehimoutofhisease。
Dr。Jekyllcontainedbeneathhisamplewaist-coatnottwoegos,butthree——notonlyHydebutanother,agreaterthanJekyll——amanasneartotheangelsasHydewastothedemons。Thesewell-fedCitymen,theseGaietyJohnnies,theseplough-boys,apothecaries,thieves!withineachonelieshiddenthehero,didFate,thesculptor,choosetousehischisel。Thatlittledrabwehavenoticednowandthen,ourwaytakingusoftenpasttheendofthecourt,therewasnothingbywhichtodistinguishher。Shewasnotover-clean,couldusecoarselanguageonoccasion——justthespawnofthestreets:takecarelestthecloakofourchildshouldbrushher。
OnemorningthedistrictCoroner,not,generallyspeaking,apoethimself,butanadeptatdiscoveringpoetryburiedunderunlikelyrubbish-heaps,tellsusmoreabouther。Sheearnedsixshillingsaweek,anduponitsupportedabed-riddenmotherandthreeyoungerchildren。Shewashousewife,nurse,mother,breadwinner,rolledintoone。Yes,thereareheroinesOUToffiction。
SoloutishTomhaswontheVictoriaCross——dashedoutunderastormofbulletsandrescuedtheriddledflag。WhowouldhavethoughtitofloutishTom?Thevillagealehouseonealwaysdeemedthegoalofhisendeavours。ChancecomestoTomandwefindhimout。ToHarrytheFateswerelesskind。Ane’er-do-wellwasHarry——drank,knockedhiswifeabout,theysay。Buryhim,wearewellridofhim,hewasgoodfornothing。Arewesure?
Letusacknowledgewearesinners。Weknow,thoseofuswhodaretoexamineourselves,thatwearecapableofeverymeanness,ofeverywrongunderthesun。Itisbytheaccidentofcircumstance,aidedbythehelpfulwatchfulnessofthepoliceman,thatourpossibilitiesofcrimeareknownonlytoourselves。Buthavingacknowledgedourevil,letusalsoacknowledgethatwearecapableofgreatness。Themartyrswhofaceddeathandtortureunflinchinglyforconscience’
sake,weremenandwomenlikeourselves。Theyhadtheirwrongside。
Beforethesmalltrialsofdailylifetheynodoubtfellaswefall。
Bynomeansweretheythepickofhumanity。Thievesmanyofthemhadbeen,andmurderers,evil-livers,andevil-doers。Butthenobilitywastherealso,lyingdormant,andtheirdaycame。Amongthemmusthavebeenmenwhohadcheatedtheirneighboursoverthecounter;menwhohadbeencrueltotheirwivesandchildren;
selfish,scandal-mongeringwomen。IneasiertimestheirvirtuemightneverhavebeenknowntoanybuttheirMaker。
Ineveryageandineveryperiod,whenandwhereFatehascalleduponmenandwomentoplaytheman,humannaturehasnotbeenfoundwanting。Theywereapoorlot,thoseFrencharistocratsthattheTerrorseized:cowardly,selfish,greedyhadbeentheirlives。Yettheremusthavebeengood,eveninthem。Whenthelittlethingsthatintheirlittlelivestheyhadthoughtsogreatweresweptawayfromthem,whentheyfoundthemselvesfacetofacewiththerealities;theneventheyplayedtheman。PoorshufflingCharlestheFirst,crustedoverwithweaknessandfolly,deepdowninhimatlastwefindthegreatgentleman。
Iliketohearstoriesofthelittlenessofgreatmen。IliketothinkthatShakespearewasfondofhisglass。IevenclingtothetaleofthatdisgracefulfinalorgiewithfriendBenJonson。
Possiblythestorymaynotbetrue,butIhopeitwas。Iliketothinkofhimaspoacher,asvillagene’er-do-well,denouncedbythelocalgrammar-schoolmaster,preachedatbythelocalJ。P。oftheperiod。IliketoreflectthatCromwellhadawartonhisnose;thethoughtmakesmemorecontentedwithmyownfeatures。Iliketothinkthatheputsweetsuponthechairs,toseefinely-dressedladiesspoiltheirfrocks;totellmyselfthatheroaredwithlaughteratthesillyjest,likeanyEastEnd’ArrywithhisBankHolidaysquirtofdirtywater。IliketoreadthatCarlylethrewbaconathiswifeandoccasionallymadehimselfhighlyridiculousoversmallannoyances,thatwouldhavebeensmiledatbyamanofwell-balancedmind。Ithinkofthefiftyfoolishthingsaweek_I_
do,andsaytomyself,"I,too,amaliteraryman。"
IliketothinkthatevenJudashadhismomentsofnobility,hisgoodhourswhenhewouldwillinglyhavelaiddownhislifeforhisMaster。Perhapseventohimtherecame,beforethejourney’send,thememoryofavoicesaying——"Thysinsbeforgiventhee。"Theremusthavebeengood,eveninJudas。
Virtuelieslikethegoldinquartz,thereisnotverymuchofit,andmuchpainshastobespentontheextractingofit。ButNatureseemstothinkitworthherwhiletofashionthesehugeuselessstones,ifinthemshemayhideawayherpreciousmetals。Perhaps,also,inhumannature,shecareslittleforthemassofdross,providedthatbycrushingandcleansingshecanextractfromitalittlegold,sufficienttorepayherforthelabouroftheworld。
Wewonderwhyshetroublestomakethestone。Whycannotthegoldlieinnuggetsonthesurface?Buthermethodsaresecretstous。
Perchancethereisareasonforthequartz。Perchancethereisareasonfortheevilandfolly,throughwhichrun,unseentothecarelesseye,thetinyveinsofvirtue。
Aye,thestonepredominates,butthegoldisthere。Weclaimtohaveitvalued。Theevilthatthereisinmannotonguecantell。
Wearevileamongthevile,alittleevilpeople。Butwearegreat。
PileupthebricksofoursinstillthetowerknocksatHeaven’sgate,callingforvengeance,yetwearegreat——withagreatnessandavirtuethattheuntemptedangelsmaynotreachto。Thewrittenhistoryofthehumanrace,itisonelongrecordofcruelty,offalsehood,ofoppression。Thinkyoutheworldwouldbespinningroundthesununtothisday,ifthatwrittenrecordwereall?
Sodom,Godwouldhavesparedhadtherebeenfoundtenrighteousmenwithinitswalls。Theworldissavedbyitsjustmen。Historyseesthemnot;sheisbutthenewspaper,areportofaccidents。Judgeyoulifebythat?ThenyoushallbelievethatthetrueTempleofHymenistheDivorceCourt;thatmenareoftwoclassesonly,thethiefandthepoliceman;thatallnoblethoughtisbutapolitician’scatchword。Historyseesonlythedestroyingconflagrations,shetakesnothoughtofthesweetfire-sides。
Historynotesthewrong;butthepatientsuffering,theheroicendeavour,that,slowlyandsilently,asthesoftprocessesofNaturere-clothingwithverdurethepassion-wastedland,obliteratethatwrong,shehasnoeyesfor。Inthedaysofcrueltyandoppression——notaltogetheryetofthepast,onefears——musthavelivedgentle-heartedmenandwomen,healingwiththeirhelpandsympathythewoundsthatelsetheworldhaddiedof。Afterthethief,ridingwithjingleofswordandspur,comes,mountedonhisass,thegoodSamaritan。Thepyramidoftheworld’sevil——Godhelpus!itriseshigh,shuttingoutalmostthesun。Buttherecordofman’sgooddeeds,itlieswritteninthelaughterofthechildren,inthelightoflovers’eyes,inthedreamsoftheyoungmen;itshallnotbeforgotten。ThefiresofpersecutionservedastorchestoshowHeaventheheroismthatwasinman。Fromthesoiloftyrannysprangself-sacrifice,anddaringfortheRight。Cruelty!
whatisitbutthevilemanure,makingthegroundreadyfortheflowersoftendernessandpity?HateandAngershriektooneanotheracrosstheages,butthevoicesofLoveandComfortarenonethelessexistentthattheyspeakinwhispers,lipstoear。
Wehavedonewrong,oh,yewitnessingHeavens,butwehavedonegood。Weclaimjustice。Wehavelaiddownourlivesforourfriends:greaterlovehathnomanthanthis。WehavefoughtfortheRight。WehavediedfortheTruth——astheTruthseemedtous。
Wehavedonenobledeeds;wehavelivednoblelives;wehavecomfortedthesorrowful;wehavesuccouredtheweak。Failing,falling,makinginourblindnessmanyafalsestep,yetwehavestriven。Forthesakeofthearmyofjustmenandtrue,forthesakeofthemyriadsofpatient,lovingwomen,forthesakeofthepitifulandhelpful,forthesakeofthegoodthatlieshiddenwithinus,——spareus,OLord。
ONTHEMOTHERLINESSOFMAN
Itwasonlyapieceofbrokenglass。Fromitsshapeandcolour,I
shouldsayithad,initshappierdays,formedportionofacheapscent-bottle。Lyingisolatedonthegrass,shoneuponbytheearlymorningsun,itcertainlyappearedatitsbest。Itattractedhim。
Hecockedhishead,andlookedatitwithhisrighteye。Thenhehoppedroundtotheotherside,andlookedatitwithhislefteye。
Witheitheropticitseemedequallydesirable。
Thathewasaninexperiencedyoungrookgoeswithoutsaying。Anolderbirdwouldnothavegivenasecondglancetothething。
Indeed,onewouldhavethoughthisowninstinctmighthavetoldhimthatbrokenglasswouldbeamistakeinabird’snest。Butitsglitterdrewhimtoostronglyforresistance。Iaminclinedtosuspectthatatsometime,duringthegrowthofhisfamilytree,theremusthaveoccurredamesalliance,perhapsworse。Possiblyastrainofmagpieblood?——oneknowsthecharacterofmagpies,orrathertheirlackofcharacter——andsuchthingshavehappened。ButIwillnotpursuefurthersopainfulatrain:Ithrowoutthesuggestionasapossibleexplanation,thatisall。
Hehoppednearer。Wasitasweetillusion,thisflashingfragmentofrainbow;abeautifulvisiontofadeuponapproach,typicalofsomuchthatisun-understandableinrooklife?Hemadeadartforwardandtappeditwithhisbeak。No,itwasreal——asfinealumpofjaggedgreenglassasanynewly-marriedrookcoulddesire,andtobehadforthetaking。SHEwouldbepleasedwithit。Hewasawell-
meaningbird;themereupwardinclinationofhistailsuggestedearnestthoughpossiblyill-directedendeavour。
Heturneditover。Itwasanawkwardthingtocarry;ithadsoverymanycorners。Buthesucceededatlastingettingitfirmlybetweenhisbeak,andinhaste,lestsomeotherbirdshouldseektodisputewithhimitspossession,atonceflewoffwithit。
Asecondrookwhohadbeenwatchingtheproceedingsfromthelimetree,calledtoathirdwhowaspassing。EvenwithmylimitedknowledgeofthelanguageIfounditeasytofollowtheconversation:itwassoobvious。
"Issachar!"
"Hallo!"
"Whatdoyouthink?Zebulan’sfoundapieceofbrokenbottle。He’sgoingtolinehisnestwithit。"
"No!"
"God’struth。Lookathim。Therehegoes,he’sgotitinhisbeak。"
"Well,I’m——!"
Andtheybothburstintoalaugh。
ButZebulanheededthemnot。Ifheoverheard,heprobablyputdownthewholedialoguetojealousy。Hemadestraightforhistree。Bystandingwithmyleftcheekpressedcloseagainstthewindow-pane,I
wasabletofollowhim。HeisbuildinginwhatwecallthePaddockelms——asuburbcommencedonlylastseason,butrapidlygrowing。I
wantedtoseewhathiswifewouldsay。
Atfirstshesaidnothing。Helaiditcarefullydownonthebranchnearthehalf-finishednest,andshestretchedupherheadandlookedatit。
Thenshelookedathim。Foraboutaminuteneitherspoke。Icouldseethatthesituationwasbecomingstrained。Whenshedidopenherbeak,itwaswithasubduedtone,thathadaveinofwearinessrunningthroughit。
"Whatisit?"sheasked。
Hewasevidentlychilledbyhermanner。AsIhaveexplained,heisaninexperiencedyoungrook。Thisisclearlyhisfirstwife,andhestandssomewhatinaweofher。
"Well,Idon’texactlyknowwhatit’sCALLED,"heanswered。
"Oh。"
"No。Butit’spretty,isn’tit?"headded。Hemovedit,tryingtogetitwherethesunmightreachit。Itwasevidenthewasadmittingtohimselfthat,seenintheshade,itlostmuchofitscharm。
"Oh,yes;verypretty,"wastherejoinder;"perhapsyou’lltellmewhatyou’regoingtodowithit。"
Thequestionfurtherdiscomfortedhim。Itwasgrowinguponhimthatthisthingwasnotgoingtobethesuccesshehadanticipated。Itwouldbenecessarytoproceedwarily。
"Ofcourse,it’snotatwig,"hebegan。
"Iseeitisn’t。"
"No。Yousee,thenestisnearlyalltwigsasitis,andIthought——
"
"Oh,youdidthink。"
"Yes,mydear。Ithought——unlessyouareofopinionthatit’stooshowy——Ithoughtwemightworkitinsomewhere。"
Thensheflaredout。