"Youdon’tunderstand?"whisperedFatherGrigory,steppingbackinastonishmentandclaspinghishands。"Whathaveyougotonyourshoulders,aheadorsomeotherobject?Yousendanoteuptothealtar,andwriteawordinitwhichitwouldbeunseemlyeventoutterinthestreet!Whyareyourollingyoureyes?
Surelyyouknowthemeaningoftheword?"
"Areyoureferringtothewordharlot?"mutteredtheshopkeeper,flushingcrimsonandblinking。"Butyouknow,theLordinHismercy……forgavethisverything,……forgaveaharlot……Hehaspreparedaplaceforher,andindeedfromthelifeoftheholysaint,MariyaofEgypt,onemayseeinwhatsensethewordisused——excuseme……"
Theshopkeeperwantedtobringforwardsomeotherargumentinhisjustification,buttookfrightandwipedhislipswithhissleeve"Sothat’swhatyoumakeofit!"criedFatherGrigory,claspinghishands。"ButyouseeGodhasforgivenher——doyouunderstand?Hehasforgiven,butyoujudgeher,youslanderher,callherbyanunseemlyname,andwhom!Yourowndeceaseddaughter!NotonlyinHolyScripture,buteveninworldlyliteratureyouwon’treadofsuchasin!Itellyouagain,Andrey,youmustn’tbeover-subtle!No,no,youmustn’tbeover-subtle,brother!IfGodhasgivenyouaninquiringmind,andifyoucannotdirectit,betternotgointothings……Don’tgointothings,andholdyourpeace!"
"Butyouknow,she,……excusemymentioningit,wasanactress!"articulatedAndreyAndreyitch,overwhelmed。
"Anactress!Butwhatevershewas,yououghttoforgetitallnowsheisdead,insteadofwritingitonthenote。"
"Justso,……"theshopkeeperassented。
"Yououghttodopenance,"boomedthedeaconfromthedepthsofthealtar,lookingcontemptuouslyatAndreyAndreyitch’sembarrassedface,"thatwouldteachyoutoleaveoffbeingsoclever!Yourdaughterwasawell-knownactress。Therewereevennoticesofherdeathinthenewspapers……Philosopher!"
"Tobesure,……certainly,"mutteredtheshopkeeper,"thewordisnotaseemlyone;butIdidnotsayittojudgeher,FatherGrigory,Ionlymeanttospeakspiritually,……thatitmightbeclearertoyouforwhomyouwerepraying。Theywriteinthememorialnotesthevariouscallings,suchastheinfantJohn,thedrownedwomanPelagea,thewarriorYegor,themurderedPavel,andsoon……Imeanttodothesame。"
"Itwasfoolish,Andrey!Godwillforgiveyou,butbewareanothertime。Aboveall,don’tbesubtle,butthinklikeotherpeople。
Maketenbowsandgoyourway。"
"Iobey,"saidtheshopkeeper,relievedthatthelecturewasover,andallowinghisfacetoresumeitsexpressionofimportanceanddignity。"Tenbows?Verygood,Iunderstand。Butnow,Father,allowmetoaskyouafavor……SeeingthatIam,anyway,herfather,……youknowyourself,whatevershewas,shewasstillmydaughter,soIwas,……excuseme,meaningtoaskyoutosingtherequiemtoday。Andallowmetoaskyou,FatherDeacon!"
"Well,that’sgood,"saidFatherGrigory,takingoffhisvestments。"ThatIcommend。Icanapproveofthat!Well,goyourway。Wewillcomeoutimmediately。"
AndreyAndreyitchwalkedwithdignityfromthealtar,andwithasolemn,requiem-likeexpressiononhisredfacetookhisstandinthemiddleofthechurch。ThevergerMatveysetbeforehimalittletablewiththememorialfooduponit,andalittlelatertherequiemservicebegan。
Therewasperfectstillnessinthechurch。Nothingcouldbeheardbutthemetallicclickofthecenserandslowsinging……NearAndreyAndreyitchstoodthevergerMatvey,themidwifeMakaryevna,andherone-armedsonMitka。Therewasnooneelse。
Thesacristansangbadlyinanunpleasant,hollowbass,butthetuneandthewordsweresomournfulthattheshopkeeperlittlebylittlelosttheexpressionofdignityandwasplungedinsadness。
HethoughtofhisMashutka,……herememberedshehadbeenbornwhenhewasstillalackeyintheserviceoftheownerofVerhnyZaprudy。Inhisbusylifeasalackeyhehadnotnoticedhowhisgirlhadgrownup。Thatlongperiodduringwhichshewasbeingshapedintoagracefulcreature,withalittleflaxenheadanddreamyeyesasbigaskopeck-piecespassedunnoticedbyhim。Shehadbeenbroughtuplikeallthechildrenoffavoritelackeys,ineaseandcomfortinthecompanyoftheyoungladies。Thegentry,tofilluptheiridletime,hadtaughthertoread,towrite,todance;hehadhadnohandinherbringingup。Onlyfromtimetotimecasuallymeetingheratthegateoronthelandingofthestairs,hewouldrememberthatshewashisdaughter,andwould,sofarashehadleisureforit,beginteachinghertheprayersandthescripture。Oh,eventhenhehadthereputationofanauthorityonthechurchrulesandtheholyscriptures!Forbiddingandstolidasherfather’sfacewas,yetthegirllistenedreadily。Sherepeatedtheprayersafterhimyawning,butontheotherhand,whenhe,hesitatingandtryingtoexpresshimselfelaborately,begantellingherstories,shewasallattention。Esau’spottage,thepunishmentofSodom,andthetroublesoftheboyJosephmadeherturnpaleandopenherblueeyeswide。
Afterwardswhenhegaveupbeingalackey,andwiththemoneyhehadsavedopenedashopinthevillage,MashutkahadgoneawaytoMoscowwithhismaster’sfamily……
Threeyearsbeforeherdeathshehadcometoseeherfather。Hehadscarcelyrecognizedher。Shewasagracefulyoungwomanwiththemannersofayounglady,anddressedlikeone。Shetalkedcleverly,asthoughfromabook,smoked,andslepttillmidday。
WhenAndreyAndreyitchaskedherwhatshewasdoing,shehadannounced,lookinghimboldlystraightintheface:"Iamanactress。"Suchfranknessstrucktheformerflunkeyastheacmeofcynicism。Mashutkahadbegunboastingofhersuccessesandherstagelife;butseeingthatherfatheronlyturnedcrimsonandthrewuphishands,sheceased。Andtheyspentafortnighttogetherwithoutspeakingorlookingatoneanothertillthedayshewentaway。Beforeshewentawaysheaskedherfathertocomeforawalkonthebankoftheriver。Painfulasitwasforhimtowalkinthelightofday,inthesightofallhonestpeople,withadaughterwhowasanactress,heyieldedtoherrequest。
"Whatalovelyplaceyoulivein!"shesaidenthusiastically。
"Whatravinesandmarshes!Goodheavens,howlovelymynativeplaceis!"
Andshehadburstintotears。
"Theplaceissimplytakinguproom,……"AndreyAndreyvitchhadthought,lookingblanklyattheravines,notunderstandinghisdaughter’senthusiasm。"Thereisnomoreprofitfromthemthanmilkfromabilly-goat。"
Andshehadcriedandcried,drawingherbreathgreedilywithherwholechest,asthoughshefeltshehadnotalongtimelefttobreathe。
AndreyAndreyitchshookhisheadlikeahorsethathasbeenbitten,andtostiflepainfulmemoriesbeganrapidlycrossinghimself……
"Bemindful,OLord,"hemuttered,"ofThydepartedservant,theharlotMariya,andforgivehersins,voluntaryorinvoluntary……"
Theunseemlyworddroppedfromhislipsagain,buthedidnotnoticeit:whatisfirmlyimbeddedintheconsciousnesscannotbedrivenoutbyFatherGrigory’sexhortationsorevenknockedoutbyanail。Makaryevnasighedandwhisperedsomething,drawinginadeepbreath,whileone-armedMitkawasbroodingoversomething……
"Wherethereisnosickness,norgrief,norsighing,"dronedthesacristan,coveringhisrightcheekwithhishand。
Bluishsmokecoiledupfromthecenserandbathedinthebroad,slantingpatchofsunshinewhichcutacrossthegloomy,lifelessemptinessofthechurch。Anditseemedasthoughthesoulofthedeadwomanweresoaringintothesunlighttogetherwiththesmoke。Thecoilsofsmokelikeachild’scurlseddiedroundandround,floatingupwardstothewindowand,asitwere,holdingalooffromthewoesandtribulationsofwhichthatpoorsoulwasfull。
INTHECOACH-HOUSE
ITwasbetweennineandteno’clockintheevening。Stepanthecoachman,Mihailothehouse-porter,Alyoshkathecoachman’sgrandson,whohadcomeupfromthevillagetostaywithhisgrandfather,andNikandr,anoldmanofseventy,whousedtocomeintotheyardeveryeveningtosellsaltherrings,weresittingroundalanterninthebigcoach-house,playing"kings。"Throughthewide-opendoorcouldbeseenthewholeyard,thebighouse,wherethemaster’sfamilylived,thegates,thecellars,andtheporter’slodge。Itwasallshroudedinthedarknessofnight,andonlythefourwindowsofoneofthelodgeswhichwasletwerebrightlylitup。Theshadowsofthecoachesandsledgeswiththeirshaftstippedupwardsstretchedfromthewallstothedoors,quiveringandcuttingacrosstheshadowscastbythelanternandtheplayers……Ontheothersideofthethinpartitionthatdividedthecoach-housefromthestablewerethehorses。Therewasascentofhay,andadisagreeablesmellofsaltherringscomingfromoldNikandr。
Theporterwonandwasking;heassumedanattitudesuchaswasinhisopinionbefittingaking,andblewhisnoseloudlyonared-checkedhandkerchief。
"NowifIlikeIcanchopoffanybody’shead,"hesaid。Alyoshka,aboyofeightwithaheadofflaxenhair,leftlonguncut,whohadonlymissedbeingkingbytwotricks,lookedangrilyandwithenvyattheporter。Hepoutedandfrowned。
"Ishallgiveyouthetrick,grandfather,"hesaid,ponderingoverhiscards;"Iknowyouhavegotthequeenofdiamonds。"
"Well,well,littlesilly,youhavethoughtenough!"
Alyoshkatimidlyplayedtheknaveofdiamonds。Atthatmomentaringwasheardfromtheyard。
"Oh,hangyou!"mutteredtheporter,gettingup。"Goandopenthegate,Oking!"
Whenhecamebackalittlelater,Alyoshkawasalreadyaprince,thefish-hawkerasoldier,andthecoachmanapeasant。
"It’sanastybusiness,"saidtheporter,sittingdowntothecardsagain。"Ihavejustletthedoctorsout。Theyhavenotextractedit。"
"Howcouldthey?Justthink,theywouldhavetopickopenthebrains。Ifthereisabulletinthehead,ofwhatusearedoctors?"
"Heislyingunconscious,"theporterwenton。"Heisboundtodie。Alyoshka,don’tlookatthecards,youlittlepuppy,orI
willpullyourears!Yes,Iletthedoctorsout,andthefatherandmotherin……Theyhaveonlyjustarrived。Suchcryingandwailing,Lordpreserveus!Theysayheistheonlyson……
It’sagrief!"
AllexceptAlyoshka,whowasabsorbedinthegame,lookedroundatthebrightlylightedwindowsofthelodge。
"Ihaveorderstogotothepolicestationtomorrow,"saidtheporter。"Therewillbeaninquiry……ButwhatdoIknowaboutit?Isawnothingofit。Hecalledmethismorning,gavemealetter,andsaid:’Putitintheletter-boxforme。’Andhiseyeswereredwithcrying。Hiswifeandchildrenwerenotathome。Theyhadgoneoutforawalk。SowhenIhadgonewiththeletter,heputabulletintohisforeheadfromarevolver。WhenI
camebackhiscookwaswailingforthewholeyardtohear。"
"It’sagreatsin,"saidthefish-hawkerinahuskyvoice,andheshookhishead,"agreatsin!"
"Fromtoomuchlearning,"saidtheporter,takingatrick;"hiswitsoutstrippedhiswisdom。Sometimeshewouldsitwritingpapersallnight……Play,peasant!……Buthewasanicegentleman。Andsowhiteskinned,black-hairedandtall!……
Hewasagoodlodger。"
"Itseemsthefairsexisatthebottomofit,"saidthecoachman,slappingthenineoftrumpsonthekingofdiamonds。
"Itseemshewasfondofanotherman’swifeanddislikedhisown;
itdoeshappen。"
"Thekingrebels,"saidtheporter。
Atthatmomenttherewasagainaringfromtheyard。Therebelliouskingspatwithvexationandwentout。Shadowslikedancingcouplesflittedacrossthewindowsofthelodge。Therewasthesoundofvoicesandhurriedfootstepsintheyard。
"Isupposethedoctorshavecomeagain,"saidthecoachman。"OurMihailoisrunoffhislegs……"
Astrangewailingvoicerangoutforamomentintheair。
Alyoshkalookedinalarmathisgrandfather,thecoachman;thenatthewindows,andsaid:
"Hestrokedmeontheheadatthegateyesterday,andsaid,’Whatdistrictdoyoucomefrom,boy?’Grandfather,whowasthathowledjustnow?"
Hisgrandfathertrimmedthelightinthelanternandmadenoanswer。
"Themanislost,"hesaidalittlelater,withayawn。"Heislost,andhischildrenareruined,too。It’sadisgraceforhischildrenfortherestoftheirlivesnow。"
Theportercamebackandsatdownbythelantern。
"Heisdead,"hesaid。"Theyhavesenttothealmshousefortheoldwomentolayhimout。"
"Thekingdomofheavenandeternalpeacetohim!"whisperedthecoachman,andhecrossedhimself。
Lookingathim,Alyoshkacrossedhimselftoo。
"Youcan’tprayforsuchashim,"saidthefish-hawker。
"Whynot?"
"It’sasin。"
"That’strue,"theporterassented。"Nowhissoulhasgonestraighttohell,tothedevil……"
"It’sasin,"repeatedthefish-hawker;"suchashehavenofuneral,norequiem,butareburiedlikecarrionwithnorespect。"
Theoldmanputonhiscapandgotup。
"Itwasthesamethingatourlady’s,"hesaid,pullinghiscaponfurther。"Wewereserfsinthosedays;theyoungersonofourmistress,theGeneral’slady,shothimselfthroughthemouthwithapistol,fromtoomuchlearning,too。Itseemsthatbylawsuchhavetobeburiedoutsidethecemetery,withoutpriests,withoutarequiemservice;buttosavedisgraceourlady,youknow,bribedthepoliceandthedoctors,andtheygaveherapapertosayhersonhaddoneitwhendelirious,notknowingwhathewasdoing。Youcandoanythingwithmoney。Sohehadafuneralwithpriestsandeveryhonor,themusicplayed,andhewasburiedinthechurch;forthedeceasedGeneralhadbuiltthatchurchwithhisownmoney,andallhisfamilywereburiedthere。Onlythisiswhathappened,friends。Onemonthpassed,andthenanother,anditwasallright。InthethirdmonththeyinformedtheGeneral’sladythatthewatchmenhadcomefromthatsamechurch。
Whatdidtheywant?Theywerebroughttoher,theyfellatherfeet。’Wecan’tgoonserving,yourexcellency,’theysaid。’Lookoutforotherwatchmenandgraciouslydismissus。’’Whatfor?’
’No,’theysaid,’wecan’tpossibly;yoursonhowlsunderthechurchallnight。’"
Alyoshkashuddered,andpressedhisfacetothecoachman’sbacksoasnottoseethewindows。
"AtfirsttheGeneral’sladywouldnotlisten,"continuedtheoldman。"’Allthisisyourfancy,yousimplefolkhavesuchnotions,’shesaid。’Adeadmancannothowl。’Sometimeafterwardsthewatchmencametoheragain,andwiththemthesacristan。Sothesacristan,too,hadheardhimhowling。TheGeneral’sladysawthatitwasabadjob;shelockedherselfinherbedroomwiththewatchmen。’Here,myfriends,herearetwenty-fiveroublesforyou,andforthatgobynightinsecret,sothatnooneshouldhearorseeyou,digupmyunhappyson,andburyhim,’shesaid,’outsidethecemetery。’AndIsupposeshestoodthemaglass……Andthewatchmendidso。Thestonewiththeinscriptiononitistheretothisday,buthehimself,theGeneral’sson,isoutsidethecemetery……OLord,forgiveusourtransgressions!"sighedthefish-hawker。"Thereisonlyonedayintheyearwhenonemayprayforsuchpeople:theSaturdaybeforeTrinity……Youmustn’tgivealmstobeggarsfortheirsake,itisasin,butyoumayfeedthebirdsfortherestoftheirsouls。TheGeneral’sladyusedtogoouttothecrossroadseverythreedaystofeedthebirds。Onceatthecross-roadsablackdogsuddenlyappeared;itranuptothebread,andwassucha……weallknowwhatthatdogwas。TheGeneral’sladywaslikeahalf-crazycreatureforfivedaysafterwards,sheneitheratenordrank……Allatonceshefellonherkneesinthegarden,andprayedandprayed……Well,good-by,friends,theblessingofGodandtheHeavenlyMotherbewithyou。Letusgo,Mihailo,you’llopenthegateforme。"
Thefish-hawkerandtheporterwentout。ThecoachmanandAlyoshkawentouttoo,soasnottobeleftinthecoach-house。
"Themanwaslivingandisdead!"saidthecoachman,lookingtowardsthewindowswhereshadowswerestillflittingtoandfro。
"Onlythismorninghewaswalkingabouttheyard,andnowheislyingdead。"
"Thetimewillcomeandweshalldietoo,"saidtheporter,walkingawaywiththefish-hawker,andatoncetheybothvanishedfromsightinthedarkness。
Thecoachman,andAlyoshkaafterhim,somewhattimidlywentuptothelightedwindows。Averypaleladywithlargetearstainedeyes,andafine-lookinggrayheadedmanweremovingtwocard-tablesintothemiddleoftheroom,probablywiththeintentionoflayingthedeadmanuponthem,andonthegreenclothofthetablenumberscouldstillbeseenwritteninchalk。
Thecookwhohadrunabouttheyardwailinginthemorningwasnowstandingonachair,stretchinguptotryandcoverthelookingglasswithatowel。
"Grandfatherwhataretheydoing?"askedAlyoshkainawhisper。
"Theyarejustgoingtolayhimonthetables,"answeredhisgrandfather。"Letusgo,child,itisbedtime。"
ThecoachmanandAlyoshkawentbacktothecoach-house。Theysaidtheirprayers,andtookofftheirboots。Stepanlaydowninacorneronthefloor,Alyoshkainasledge。Thedoorsofthecoachhousewereshut,therewasahorriblestenchfromtheextinguishedlantern。AlittlelaterAlyoshkasatupandlookedabouthim;throughthecrackofthedoorhecouldstillseealightfromthoselightedwindows。
"Grandfather,Iamfrightened!"hesaid。
"Come,gotosleep,gotosleep!……"
"ItellyouIamfrightened!"
"Whatareyoufrightenedof?Whatababy!"
Theyweresilent。
Alyoshkasuddenlyjumpedoutofthesledgeand,loudlyweeping,rantohisgrandfather。
"Whatisit?What’sthematter?"criedthecoachmaninafright,gettingupalso。
"He’showling!"
"Whoishowling?"
"Iamfrightened,grandfather,doyouhear?"
Thecoachmanlistened。
"It’stheircrying,"hesaid。"Come!there,littlesilly!Theyaresad,sotheyarecrying。"
"Iwanttogohome,……"hisgrandsonwentonsobbingandtremblingallover。"Grandfather,letusgobacktothevillage,tomammy;come,grandfatherdear,Godwillgiveyoutheheavenlykingdomforit……"
"Whatasilly,ah!Come,bequiet,bequiet!Bequiet,Iwilllightthelantern,……silly!"
Thecoachmanfumbledforthematchesandlightedthelantern。ButthelightdidnotcomfortAlyoshka。
"GrandfatherStepan,let’sgotothevillage!"hebesoughthim,weeping。"Iamfrightenedhere;oh,oh,howfrightenedIam!Andwhydidyoubringmefromthevillage,accursedman?"
"Who’sanaccursedman?Youmustn’tusesuchdisrespectablewordstoyourlawfulgrandfather。Ishallwhipyou。"
"Dowhipme,grandfather,do;beatmelikeSidor’sgoat,butonlytakemetomammy,forGod’smercy!……"
"Come,come,grandson,come!"thecoachmansaidkindly。"It’sallright,don’tbefrightened……Iamfrightenedmyself……
Sayyourprayers!"
Thedoorcreakedandtheporter’sheadappeared。"Aren’tyouasleep,Stepan?"heasked。"Ishan’tgetanysleepallnight,"hesaid,comingin。"Ishallbeopeningandshuttingthegatesallnight……Whatareyoucryingfor,Alyoshka?"
"Heisfrightened,"thecoachmanansweredforhisgrandson。
Againtherewasthesoundofawailingvoiceintheair。Theportersaid:
"Theyarecrying。Themothercan’tbelievehereyes……It’sdreadfulhowupsetsheis。"
"Andisthefatherthere?"
"Yes……Thefatherisallright。Hesitsinthecornerandsaysnothing。Theyhavetakenthechildrentorelations……
Well,Stepan,shallwehaveagameoftrumps?"
"Yes,"thecoachmanagreed,scratchinghimself,"andyou,Alyoshka,gotosleep。Almostbigenoughtobemarried,andblubbering,yourascal。Come,goalong,grandson,goalong……
ThepresenceoftheporterreassuredAlyoshka。Hewent,notveryresolutely,towardsthesledgeandlaydown。Andwhilehewasfallingasleepheheardahalf-whisper。
"Ibeatandcover,"saidhisgrandfather。
"Ibeatandcover,"repeatedtheporter。
Thebellrangintheyard,thedoorcreakedandseemedalsosaying:"Ibeatandcover。"WhenAlyoshkadreamedofthegentlemanand,frightenedbyhiseyes,jumpedupandburstoutcrying,itwasmorning,hisgrandfatherwassnoring,andthecoach-housenolongerseemedterrible。
PANICFEARS
DURINGalltheyearsIhavebeenlivinginthisworldIhaveonlythreetimesbeenterrified。
Thefirstrealterror,whichmademyhairstandonendandmadeshiversrunalloverme,wascausedbyatrivialbutstrangephenomenon。Ithappenedthat,havingnothingtodooneJulyevening,Idrovetothestationforthenewspapers。Itwasastill,warm,almostsultryevening,likeallthosemonotonouseveningsinJulywhich,whenoncetheyhavesetin,goonforaweek,afortnight,orsometimeslonger,inregularunbrokensuccession,andaresuddenlycutshortbyaviolentthunderstormandalavishdownpourofrainthatrefresheseverythingforalongtime。
Thesunhadsetsometimebefore,andanunbrokengraydusklayallovertheland。Themawkishlysweetscentsofthegrassandflowerswereheavyinthemotionless,stagnantair。
Iwasdrivinginaroughtrolley。Behindmybackthegardener’ssonPashka,aboyofeightyearsold,whomIhadtakenwithmetolookafterthehorseincaseofnecessity,wasgentlysnoring,withhisheadonasackofoats。Ourwaylayalonganarrowby-road,straightasaruler,whichlayhidlikeagreatsnakeinthetallthickrye。Therewasapalelightfromtheafterglowofsunset;astreakoflightcutitswaythroughanarrow,uncouth-lookingcloud,whichseemedsometimeslikeaboatandsometimeslikeamanwrappedinaquilt……
Ihaddrivenamileandahalf,ortwomiles,whenagainstthepalebackgroundoftheeveningglowtherecameintosightoneafteranothersomegracefultallpoplars;ariverglimmeredbeyondthem,andagorgeouspicturesuddenly,asthoughbymagic,laystretchedbeforeme。Ihadtostopthehorse,forourstraightroadbrokeoffabruptlyandrandownasteepinclineovergrownwithbushes。Wewerestandingonthehillsideandbeneathusatthebottomlayahugeholefulloftwilight,offantasticshapes,andofspace。Atthebottomofthishole,inawideplainguardedbythepoplarsandcaressedbythegleamingriver,nestledavillage。Itwasnowsleeping……Itshuts,itschurchwiththebelfry,itstrees,stoodoutagainstthegraytwilightandwerereflecteddarklyinthesmoothsurfaceoftheriver。
IwakedPashkaforfearheshouldfalloutandbegancautiouslygoingdown。
"HavewegottoLukovo?"askedPashka,liftinghisheadlazily。
"Yes。Holdthereins!……"
Iledthehorsedownthehillandlookedatthevillage。Atthefirstglanceonestrangecircumstancecaughtmyattention:attheverytopofthebelfry,inthetinywindowbetweenthecupolaandthebells,alightwastwinkling。Thislightwaslikethatofasmolderinglamp,atonemomentdyingdown,atanotherflickeringup。Whatcoulditcomefrom?
Itssourcewasbeyondmycomprehension。Itcouldnotbeburningatthewindow,fortherewereneitherikonsnorlampsinthetopturretofthebelfry;therewasnothingthere,asIknew,butbeams,dust,andspiders’webs。Itwashardtoclimbupintothatturret,forthepassagetoitfromthebelfrywascloselyblockedup。
Itwasmorelikelythananythingelsetobethereflectionofsomeoutsidelight,butthoughIstrainedmyeyestotheutmost,Icouldnotseeoneotherspeckoflightinthevastexpansethatlaybeforeme。Therewasnomoon。Thepaleand,bynow,quitedimstreakoftheafterglowcouldnothavebeenreflected,forthewindowlookednottothewest,buttotheeast。TheseandothersimilarconsiderationswerestrayingthroughmymindallthewhilethatIwasgoingdowntheslopewiththehorse。AtthebottomIsatdownbytheroadsideandlookedagainatthelight。
Asbeforeitwasglimmeringandflaringup。
"Strange,"Ithought,lostinconjecture。"Verystrange。"
AndlittlebylittleIwasovercomebyanunpleasantfeeling。AtfirstIthoughtthatthiswasvexationatnotbeingabletoexplainasimplephenomenon;butafterwards,whenIsuddenlyturnedawayfromthelightinhorrorandcaughtholdofPashkawithonehand,itbecameclearthatIwasovercomewithterror……
Iwasseizedwithafeelingofloneliness,misery,andhorror,asthoughIhadbeenflungdownagainstmywillintothisgreatholefullofshadows,whereIwasstandingallalonewiththebelfrylookingatmewithitsredeye。
"Pashka!"Icried,closingmyeyesinhorror。
"Well?"
"Pashka,what’sthatgleamingonthebelfry?"
Pashkalookedovermyshoulderatthebelfryandgaveayawn。
"Whocantell?"
Thisbriefconversationwiththeboyreassuredmeforalittle,butnotforlong。Pashka,seeingmyuneasiness,fastenedhisbigeyesuponthelight,lookedatmeagain,thenagainatthelight……
"Iamfrightened,"hewhispered。
Atthispoint,besidemyselfwithterror,Iclutchedtheboywithonehand,huddleduptohim,andgavethehorseaviolentlash。
"It’sstupid!"Isaidtomyself。"ThatphenomenonisonlyterriblebecauseIdon’tunderstandit;everythingwedon’tunderstandismysterious。"
Itriedtopersuademyself,butatthesametimeIdidnotleaveofflashingthehorse。WhenwereachedthepostingstationI
purposelystayedforafullhourchattingwiththeoverseer,andreadthroughtwoorthreenewspapers,butthefeelingofuneasinessdidnotleaveme。Onthewaybackthelightwasnottobeseen,butontheotherhandthesilhouettesofthehuts,ofthepoplars,andofthehillupwhichIhadtodrive,seemedtomeasthoughanimated。AndwhythelightwasthereIdon’tknowtothisday。
ThesecondterrorIexperiencedwasexcitedbyacircumstancenolesstrivial……Iwasreturningfromaromanticinterview。Itwasoneo’clockatnight,thetimewhennatureisburiedinthesoundest,sweetestsleepbeforethedawn。Thattimenaturewasnotsleeping,andonecouldnotcallthenightastillone。
Corncrakes,quails,nightingales,andwoodcockswerecalling,cricketsandgrasshopperswerechirruping。Therewasalightmistoverthegrass,andcloudswerescurryingstraightaheadacrosstheskynearthemoon。Naturewasawake,asthoughafraidofmissingthebestmomentsofherlife。
Iwalkedalonganarrowpathattheveryedgeofarailwayembankment。Themoonlightglidedoverthelineswhichwerealreadycoveredwithdew。Greatshadowsfromthecloudskeptflittingovertheembankment。Farahead,adimgreenlightwasglimmeringpeacefully。
"Soeverythingiswell,"Ithought,lookingatthem。
Ihadaquiet,peaceful,comfortablefeelinginmyheart。Iwasreturningfromatryst,Ihadnoneedtohurry;Iwasnotsleepy,andIwasconsciousofyouthandhealthineverysigh,everystepItook,rousingadullechointhemonotonoushumofthenight。Idon’tknowwhatIwasfeelingthen,butIrememberIwashappy,veryhappy。
Ihadgonenotmorethanthree-quartersofamilewhenIsuddenlyheardbehindmeamonotonoussound,arumbling,ratherliketheroarofagreatstream。Itgrewlouderandloudereverysecond,andsoundednearerandnearer。Ilookedround;ahundredpacesfrommewasthedarkcopsefromwhichIhadonlyjustcome;theretheembankmentturnedtotherightinagracefulcurveandvanishedamongthetrees。Istoodstillinperplexityandwaited。
Ahugeblackbodyappearedatonceattheturn,noisilydartedtowardsme,andwiththeswiftnessofabirdflewpastmealongtherails。Lessthanhalfaminutepassedandtheblurhadvanished,therumblemeltedawayintothenoiseofthenight。
Itwasanordinarygoodstruck。Therewasnothingpeculiaraboutitinitself,butitsappearancewithoutanengineandinthenightpuzzledme。Wherecouldithavecomefromandwhatforcesentitflyingsorapidlyalongtherails?Wherediditcomefromandwherewasitflyingto?
IfIhadbeensuperstitiousIshouldhavemadeupmyminditwasapartyofdemonsandwitchesjourneyingtoadevils’sabbath,andshouldhavegoneonmyway;butasitwas,thephenomenonwasabsolutelyinexplicabletome。Ididnotbelievemyeyes,andwasentangledinconjectureslikeaflyinaspider’sweb……
IsuddenlyrealizedthatIwasutterlyaloneonthewholevastplain;thatthenight,whichbynowseemedinhospitable,waspeepingintomyfaceanddoggingmyfootsteps;allthesounds,thecriesofthebirds,thewhisperingsofthetrees,seemedsinister,andexistingsimplytoalarmmyimagination。Idashedonlikeamadman,andwithoutrealizingwhatIwasdoingIran,tryingtorunfasterandfaster。AndatonceIheardsomethingtowhichIhadpaidnoattentionbefore:thatis,theplaintivewhiningofthetelegraphwires。
"Thisisbeyondeverything,"Isaid,tryingtoshamemyself。
"It’scowardice!it’ssilly!"
Butcowardicewasstrongerthancommonsense。IonlyslackenedmypacewhenIreachedthegreenlight,whereIsawadarksignal-box,andnearitontheembankmentthefigureofaman,probablythesignalman。
"Didyouseeit?"Iaskedbreathlessly。
"Seewhom?What?"
"Why,atruckranby。"
"Isawit,……"thepeasantsaidreluctantly。"Itbrokeawayfromthegoodstrain。Thereisaninclineattheninetiethmile……;thetrainisdraggeduphill。Thecouplingonthelasttruckgaveway,soitbrokeoffandranback……Thereisnocatchingitnow!……"
Thestrangephenomenonwasexplainedanditsfantasticcharactervanished。MypanicwasoverandIwasabletogoonmyway。
MythirdfrightcameuponmeasIwasgoinghomefromstandshootinginearlyspring。Itwasintheduskofevening。Theforestroadwascoveredwithpoolsfromarecentshowerofrain,andtheearthsquelchedunderone’sfeet。Thecrimsonglowofsunsetfloodedthewholeforest,coloringthewhitestemsofthebirchesandtheyoungleaves。Iwasexhaustedandcouldhardlymove。
Fourorfivemilesfromhome,walkingalongtheforestroad,I
suddenlymetabigblackdogofthewaterspanielbreed。Asheranby,thedoglookedintentlyatme,straightinmyface,andranon。
"Anicedog!"Ithought。"Whoseisit?"
Ilookedround。Thedogwasstandingtenpacesoffwithhiseyesfixedonme。Foraminutewescannedeachotherinsilence,thenthedog,probablyflatteredbymyattention,cameslowlyuptomeandwaggedhistail。
Iwalkedon,thedogfollowingme。
"Whosedogcanitbe?"Ikeptaskingmyself。"Wheredoeshecomefrom?"
Iknewallthecountrygentryfortwentyorthirtymilesround,andknewalltheirdogs。Notoneofthemhadaspaniellikethat。
Howdidhecometobeinthedepthsoftheforest,onatrackusedfornothingbutcartingtimber?Hecouldhardlyhavedroppedbehindsomeonepassingthrough,fortherewasnowhereforthegentrytodrivetoalongthatroad。
Isatdownonastumptorest,andbeganscrutinizingmycompanion。He,too,satdown,raisedhishead,andfasteneduponmeanintentstare。Hegazedatmewithoutblinking。Idon’tknowwhetheritwastheinfluenceofthestillness,theshadowsandsoundsoftheforest,orperhapsaresultofexhaustion,butI
suddenlyfeltuneasyunderthesteadygazeofhisordinarydoggyeyes。IthoughtofFaustandhisbulldog,andofthefactthatnervouspeoplesometimeswhenexhaustedhavehallucinations。
Thatwasenoughtomakemegetuphurriedlyandhurriedlywalkon。Thedogfollowedme。
"Goaway!"Ishouted。
Thedogprobablylikedmyvoice,forhegaveagleefuljumpandranaboutinfrontofme。
"Goaway!"Ishoutedagain。
Thedoglookedround,staredatmeintently,andwaggedhistailgood-humoredly。Evidentlymythreateningtoneamusedhim。Ioughttohavepattedhim,butIcouldnotgetFaust’sdogoutofmyhead,andthefeelingofpanicgrewmoreandmoreacute……
Darknesswascomingon,whichcompletedmyconfusion,andeverytimethedogranuptomeandhitmewithhistail,likeacowardIshutmyeyes。Thesamethinghappenedaswiththelightinthebelfryandthetruckontherailway:Icouldnotstanditandrushedaway。
AthomeIfoundavisitor,anoldfriend,who,aftergreetingme,begantocomplainthatashewasdrivingtomehehadlosthiswayintheforest,andasplendidvaluabledogofhishaddroppedbehind。
THEBET
ITWASadarkautumnnight。Theoldbankerwaswalkingupanddownhisstudyandrememberinghow,fifteenyearsbefore,hehadgivenapartyoneautumnevening。Therehadbeenmanyclevermenthere,andtherehadbeeninterestingconversations。Amongotherthingstheyhadtalkedofcapitalpunishment。Themajorityoftheguests,amongwhomweremanyjournalistsandintellectualmen,disapprovedofthedeathpenalty。Theyconsideredthatformofpunishmentoutofdate,immoral,andunsuitableforChristianStates。Intheopinionofsomeofthemthedeathpenaltyoughttobereplacedeverywherebyimprisonmentforlife。
"Idon’tagreewithyou,"saidtheirhostthebanker。"Ihavenottriedeitherthedeathpenaltyorimprisonmentforlife,butifonemayjudge_apriori_,thedeathpenaltyismoremoralandmorehumanethanimprisonmentforlife。Capitalpunishmentkillsamanatonce,butlifelongimprisonmentkillshimslowly。Whichexecutioneristhemorehumane,hewhokillsyouinafewminutesorhewhodragsthelifeoutofyouinthecourseofmanyyears?"
"Bothareequallyimmoral,"observedoneoftheguests,"fortheybothhavethesameobject——totakeawaylife。TheStateisnotGod。Ithasnottherighttotakeawaywhatitcannotrestorewhenitwantsto。"
Amongtheguestswasayounglawyer,ayoungmanoffive-and-twenty。Whenhewasaskedhisopinion,hesaid:
"Thedeathsentenceandthelifesentenceareequallyimmoral,butifIhadtochoosebetweenthedeathpenaltyandimprisonmentforlife,Iwouldcertainlychoosethesecond。Toliveanyhowisbetterthannotatall。"
Alivelydiscussionarose。Thebanker,whowasyoungerandmorenervousinthosedays,wassuddenlycarriedawaybyexcitement;
hestruckthetablewithhisfistandshoutedattheyoungman:
"It’snottrue!I’llbetyoutwomillionsyouwouldn’tstayinsolitaryconfinementforfiveyears。"
"Ifyoumeanthatinearnest,"saidtheyoungman,"I’lltakethebet,butIwouldstaynotfivebutfifteenyears。"
"Fifteen?Done!"criedthebanker。"Gentlemen,Istaketwomillions!"
"Agreed!YoustakeyourmillionsandIstakemyfreedom!"saidtheyoungman。
Andthiswild,senselessbetwascarriedout!Thebanker,spoiltandfrivolous,withmillionsbeyondhisreckoning,wasdelightedatthebet。Atsupperhemadefunoftheyoungman,andsaid:
"Thinkbetterofit,youngman,whilethereisstilltime。Tometwomillionsareatrifle,butyouarelosingthreeorfourofthebestyearsofyourlife。Isaythreeorfour,becauseyouwon’tstaylonger。Don’tforgeteither,youunhappyman,thatvoluntaryconfinementisagreatdealhardertobearthancompulsory。Thethoughtthatyouhavetherighttostepoutinlibertyatanymomentwillpoisonyourwholeexistenceinprison。
Iamsorryforyou。"
Andnowthebanker,walkingtoandfro,rememberedallthis,andaskedhimself:"Whatwastheobjectofthatbet?Whatisthegoodofthatman’slosingfifteenyearsofhislifeandmythrowingawaytwomillions?Canitprovethatthedeathpenaltyisbetterorworsethanimprisonmentforlife?No,no。Itwasallnonsensicalandmeaningless。Onmypartitwasthecapriceofapamperedman,andonhispartsimplegreedformoney……"
Thenherememberedwhatfollowedthatevening。Itwasdecidedthattheyoungmanshouldspendtheyearsofhiscaptivityunderthestrictestsupervisioninoneofthelodgesinthebanker’sgarden。Itwasagreedthatforfifteenyearsheshouldnotbefreetocrossthethresholdofthelodge,toseehumanbeings,tohearthehumanvoice,ortoreceivelettersandnewspapers。Hewasallowedtohaveamusicalinstrumentandbooks,andwasallowedtowriteletters,todrinkwine,andtosmoke。Bythetermsoftheagreement,theonlyrelationshecouldhavewiththeouterworldwerebyalittlewindowmadepurposelyforthatobject。Hemighthaveanythinghewanted——
books,music,wine,andsoon——inanyquantityhedesiredbywritinganorder,butcouldonlyreceivethemthroughthewindow。Theagreementprovidedforeverydetailandeverytriflethatwouldmakehisimprisonmentstrictlysolitary,andboundtheyoungmantostaythere_exactly_fifteenyears,beginningfromtwelveo’clockofNovember14,1870,andendingattwelveo’clockofNovember14,1885。Theslightestattemptonhisparttobreaktheconditions,ifonlytwominutesbeforetheend,releasedthebankerfromtheobligationtopayhimtwomillions。
Forthefirstyearofhisconfinement,asfarasonecouldjudgefromhisbriefnotes,theprisonersufferedseverelyfromlonelinessanddepression。Thesoundsofthepianocouldbeheardcontinuallydayandnightfromhislodge。Herefusedwineandtobacco。Wine,hewrote,excitesthedesires,anddesiresaretheworstfoesoftheprisoner;andbesides,nothingcouldbemoredrearythandrinkinggoodwineandseeingnoone。Andtobaccospoilttheairofhisroom。Inthefirstyearthebookshesentforwereprincipallyofalightcharacter;novelswithacomplicatedloveplot,sensationalandfantasticstories,andsoon。