首页 >出版文学> The Schoolmistress and Other Stories>第2章
  Vassilyevwentintothedrawing-roomandsatdown。Therewereanumberofvisitorsintheroombesideshimandhisfriends:twoinfantryofficers,abald,gray-hairedgentlemaninspectacles,twobeardlessyouthsfromtheinstituteofland-surveying,andaverytipsymanwholookedlikeanactor。AlltheyoungladiesweretakenupwiththesevisitorsandpaidnoattentiontoVassilyev。
  Onlyoneofthem,dressed_alaAida,_glancedsidewaysathim,smiled,andsaid,yawning:"Adarkonehascome……"
  Vassilyev’sheartwasthrobbingandhisfaceburned。Hefeltashamedbeforethesevisitorsofhispresencehere,andhefeltdisgustedandmiserable。Hewastormentedbythethoughtthathe,adecentandlovingman(suchashehadhithertoconsideredhimself),hatedthesewomenandfeltnothingbutrepulsiontowardsthem。Hefeltpityneitherforthewomennorthemusiciansnortheflunkeys。
  "ItisbecauseIamnottryingtounderstandthem,"hethought。
  "Theyareallmorelikeanimalsthanhumanbeings,butofcoursetheyarehumanbeingsallthesame,theyhavesouls。Onemustunderstandthemandthenjudge……"
  "Grisha,don’tgo,waitforus,"theartistshoutedtohimanddisappeared。
  Themedicalstudentdisappearedsoonafter。
  "Yes,onemustmakeanefforttounderstand,onemustn’tbelikethis……"Vassilyevwentonthinking。
  Andhebegangazingateachofthewomenwithstrainedattention,lookingforaguiltysmile。Buteitherhedidnotknowhowtoreadtheirfaces,ornotoneofthesewomenfeltherselftobeguilty;hereadoneveryfacenothingbutablankexpressionofeverydayvulgarboredomandcomplacency。Stupidfaces,stupidsmiles,harsh,stupidvoices,insolentmovements,andnothingelse。Apparentlyeachofthemhadinthepastaromancewithanaccountantbasedonunderclothesforfiftyroubles,andlookedfornoothercharminthepresentbutcoffee,adinnerofthreecourses,wines,quadrilles,sleepingtilltwointheafternoon……
  Findingnoguiltysmile,Vassilyevbegantolookwhethertherewasnotoneintelligentface。Andhisattentionwascaughtbyonepale,rathersleepy,exhausted-lookingface……Itwasadarkwoman,notveryyoung,wearingadresscoveredwithspangles;
  shewassittinginaneasy-chair,lookingatthefloorlostinthought。Vassilyevwalkedfromonecorneroftheroomtotheother,and,asthoughcasually,satdownbesideher。
  "Imustbeginwithsomethingtrivial,"hethought,"andpasstowhatisserious……"
  "Whataprettydressyouhave,"andwithhisfingerhetouchedthegoldfringeofherfichu。
  "Oh,isit?……"saidthedarkwomanlistlessly。
  "Whatprovincedoyoucomefrom?"
  "I?Fromadistance……FromTchernigov。"
  "Afineprovince。It’snicethere。"
  "Anyplaceseemsnicewhenoneisnotinit。"
  "It’sapityIcannotdescribenature,"thoughtVassilyev。"I
  mighttouchherbyadescriptionofnatureinTchernigov。Nodoubtshelovestheplaceifshehasbeenbornthere。"
  "Areyoudullhere?"heasked。
  "OfcourseIamdull。"
  "Whydon’tyougoawayfromhereifyouaredull?"
  "WhereshouldIgoto?Gobeggingorwhat?"
  "Beggingwouldbeeasierthanlivinghere。"
  Howdoyouknowthat?Haveyoubegged?"
  "Yes,whenIhadn’tthemoneytostudy。EvenifIhadn’tanyonecouldunderstandthat。Abeggarisanywayafreeman,andyouareaslave。"
  Thedarkwomanstretched,andwatchedwithsleepyeyesthefootmanwhowasbringingatrayfulofglassesandseltzerwater。
  "Standmeaglassofporter,"shesaid,andyawnedagain。
  "Porter,"thoughtVassilyev。"Andwhatifyourbrotherormotherwalkedinatthismoment?Whatwouldyousay?Andwhatwouldtheysay?Therewouldbeporterthen,Iimagine……"
  Allatoncetherewasthesoundofweeping。Fromtheadjoiningroom,fromwhichthefootmanhadbroughttheseltzerwater,afairmanwitharedfaceandangryeyesraninquickly。Hewasfollowedbythetall,stout"madam,"whowasshoutinginashrillvoice:
  "Nobodyhasgivenyouleavetoslapgirlsonthecheeks!Wehavevisitorsbetterthanyou,andtheydon’tfight!Impostor!"
  Ahubbubarose。Vassilyevwasfrightenedandturnedpale。Inthenextroomtherewasthesoundofbitter,genuineweeping,asthoughofsomeoneinsulted。Andherealizedthattherewererealpeoplelivingherewho,likepeopleeverywhereelse,feltinsulted,suffered,wept,andcriedforhelp。Thefeelingofoppressivehateanddisgustgavewaytoanacutefeelingofpityandangeragainsttheaggressor。Herushedintotheroomwheretherewasweeping。Acrossrowsofbottlesonamarble-toptablehedistinguishedasufferingface,wetwithtears,stretchedouthishandstowardsthatface,tookasteptowardsthetable,butatoncedrewbackinhorror。Theweepinggirlwasdrunk。
  Ashemadehiswaythoughthenoisycrowdgatheredaboutthefairman,hisheartsankandhefeltfrightenedlikeachild;anditseemedtohimthatinthisalien,incomprehensibleworldpeoplewantedtopursuehim,tobeathim,topelthimwithfilthywords……Hetoredownhiscoatfromthehatstandandranheadlongdownstairs。
  V
  Leaningagainstthefence,hestoodnearthehousewaitingforhisfriendstocomeout。Thesoundsofthepianosandviolins,gay,reckless,insolent,andmournful,mingledintheairinasortofchaos,andthistangleofsoundsseemedagainlikeanunseenorchestratuningupontheroofs。Ifonelookedupwardsintothedarkness,theblackbackgroundwasallspangledwithwhite,movingspots:itwassnowfalling。Asthesnowflakescameintothelighttheyfloatedroundlazilyintheairlikedown,andstillmorelazilyfelltotheground。ThesnowflakeswhirledthicklyroundVassilyevandhunguponhisbeard,hiseyelashes,hiseyebrows……Thecabmen,thehorses,andthepassers-bywerewhite。
  "Andhowcanthesnowfallinthisstreet!"thoughtVassilyev。
  "Damnationtakethesehouses!"
  Hislegsseemedtobegivingwayfromfatigue,simplyfromhavingrundownthestairs;hegaspedforbreathasthoughhehadbeenclimbinguphill,hisheartbeatsoloudlythathecouldhearit。
  Hewasconsumedbyadesiretogetoutofthestreetasquicklyaspossibleandtogohome,butevenstrongerwashisdesiretowaitforhiscompanionsandventuponthemhisoppressivefeeling。
  Therewasmuchhedidnotunderstandinthesehouses,thesoulsofruinedwomenwereamysterytohimasbefore;butitwascleartohimthatthethingwasfarworsethancouldhavebeenbelieved。Ifthatsinfulwomanwhohadpoisonedherselfwascalledfallen,itwasdifficulttofindafittingnameforallthesewhoweredancingnowtothistangleofsoundandutteringlong,loathsomesentences。Theywerenotontheroadtoruin,butruined。
  "Thereisvice,"hethought,"butneitherconsciousnessofsinnorhopeofsalvation。Theyaresoldandbought,steepedinwineandabominations,whilethey,likesheep,arestupid,indifferent,anddon’tunderstand。MyGod!MyGod!"
  Itwascleartohim,too,thateverythingthatiscalledhumandignity,personalrights,theDivineimageandsemblance,weredefiledtotheirveryfoundations——"totheverymarrow,"asdrunkardssay——andthatnotonlythestreetandthestupidwomenwereresponsibleforit。
  Agroupofstudents,whitewithsnow,passedhimlaughingandtalkinggaily;one,atallthinfellow,stopped,glancedintoVassilyev’sface,andsaidinadrunkenvoice:
  "Oneofus!Abiton,oldman?Aha-ha!Nevermind,haveagoodtime!Don’tbedown-hearted,oldchap!"
  HetookVassilyevbytheshoulderandpressedhiscoldwetmustacheagainsthischeek,thenheslipped,staggered,and,wavingbothhands,cried:
  "Holdon!Don’tupset!"
  Andlaughing,herantoovertakehiscompanions。
  Throughthenoisecamethesoundoftheartist’svoice:
  "Don’tyoudaretohitthewomen!Iwon’tletyou,damnationtakeyou!Youscoundrels!"
  Themedicalstudentappearedinthedoorway。Helookedfromsidetoside,andseeingVassilyev,saidinanagitatedvoice:
  "Youhere!Itellyouit’sreallyimpossibletogoanywherewithYegor!Whatafellowheis!Idon’tunderstandhim!Hehasgotupascene!Doyouhear?Yegor!"heshoutedatthedoor。Yegor!"
  "Iwon’tallowyoutohitwomen!"theartist’spiercingvoicesoundedfromabove。Somethingheavyandlumberingrolleddownthestairs。Itwastheartistfallingheadlong。Evidentlyhehadbeenpusheddownstairs。
  Hepickedhimselfupfromtheground,shookhishat,and,withanangryandindignantface,brandishedhisfisttowardsthetopofthestairsandshouted:
  "Scoundrels!Torturers!Bloodsuckers!Iwon’tallowyoutohitthem!Tohitaweak,drunkenwoman!Oh,youbrutes!……"
  "Yegor!……Come,Yegor!……"themedicalstudentbeganimploringhim。"IgiveyoumywordofhonorI’llnevercomewithyouagain。OnmywordofhonorIwon’t!"
  Littlebylittletheartistwaspacifiedandthefriendswenthomewards。
  "Againstmywillanunknownforce,"hummedthemedicalstudent,"hasledmetothesemournfulshores。"
  "Beholdthemill,"theartistchimedinalittlelater,"inruinsnow。Whatalotofsnow,HolyMother!Grisha,whydidyougo?Youareafunk,aregularoldwoman。"
  Vassilyevwalkedbehindhiscompanions,lookedattheirbacks,andthought:
  "Oneoftwothings:eitherweonlyfancyprostitutionisanevil,andweexaggerateit;or,ifprostitutionreallyisasgreatanevilasisgenerallyassumed,thesedearfriendsofmineareasmuchslaveowners,violators,andmurderers,astheinhabitantsofSyriaandCairo,thataredescribedinthe’Neva。’Nowtheyaresinging,laughing,talkingsense,buthaven’ttheyjustbeenexploitinghunger,ignorance,andstupidity?Theyhave——Ihavebeenawitnessofit。Whatistheuseoftheirhumanity,theirmedicine,theirpainting?Thescience,art,andloftysentimentsofthesesoul-destroyersremindmeofthepieceofbaconinthestory。Twobrigandsmurderedabeggarinaforest;theybegansharinghisclothesbetweenthem,andfoundinhiswalletapieceofbacon。’Wellfound,’saidoneofthem,’letushaveabit。’
  ’Whatdoyoumean?Howcanyou?’criedtheotherinhorror。’Haveyouforgottenthatto-dayisWednesday?’Andtheywouldnoteatit。Aftermurderingaman,theycameoutoftheforestinthefirmconvictionthattheywerekeepingthefast。Inthesamewaythesemen,afterbuyingwomen,gotheirwayimaginingthattheyareartistsandmenofscience……"
  "Listen!"hesaidsharplyandangrily。"Whydoyoucomehere?Isitpossible——isitpossibleyoudon’tunderstandhowhorribleitis?Yourmedicalbookstellyouthateveryoneofthesewomendiesprematurelyofconsumptionorsomething;arttellsyouthatmorallytheyaredeadevenearlier。Everyoneofthemdiesbecauseshehasinhertimetoentertainfivehundredmenonanaverage,letussay。Eachoneofthemiskilledbyfivehundredmen。Youareamongthosefivehundred!Ifeachofyouinthecourseofyourlivesvisitsthisplaceorotherslikeittwohundredandfiftytimes,itfollowsthatonewomaniskilledforeverytwoofyou!Can’tyouunderstandthat?Isn’tithorribletomurder,twoofyou,threeofyou,fiveofyou,afoolish,hungrywoman!Ah!isn’titawful,myGod!"
  "Iknewitwouldendlikethat,"theartistsaidfrowning。"Weoughtnottohavegonewiththisfoolandass!Youimagineyouhavegrandnotionsinyourheadnow,ideas,don’tyou?No,it’sthedevilknowswhat,butnotideas。Youarelookingatmenowwithhatredandrepulsion,butItellyouit’sbetteryoushouldsetuptwentymorehouseslikethosethanlooklikethat。
  There’smoreviceinyourexpressionthaninthewholestreet!
  Comealong,Volodya,lethimgotothedevil!He’safoolandanass,andthat’sall……"
  "Wehumanbeingsdomurdereachother,"saidthemedicalstudent。
  "It’simmoral,ofcourse,butphilosophizingdoesn’thelpit。
  Good-by!"
  AtTrubnoySquarethefriendssaidgood-byandparted。Whenhewasleftalone,Vassilyevstroderapidlyalongtheboulevard。Hefeltfrightenedofthedarkness,ofthesnowwhichwasfallinginheavyflakesontheground,andseemedasthoughitwouldcoverupthewholeworld;hefeltfrightenedofthestreetlampsshiningwithpalelightthroughthecloudsofsnow。Hissoulwaspossessedbyanunaccountable,faint-heartedterror。Passers-bycametowardshimfromtimetotime,buthetimidlymovedtooneside;itseemedtohimthatwomen,nonebutwomen,werecomingfromallsidesandstaringathim……
  "It’sbeginning,"hethought,"Iamgoingtohaveabreakdown。"
  VI
  Athomehelayonhisbedandsaid,shudderingallover:"Theyarealive!Alive!MyGod,thosewomenarealive!"
  Heencouragedhisimaginationinallsortsofwaystopicturehimselfthebrotherofafallenwoman,orherfather;thenafallenwomanherself,withherpaintedcheeks;anditallmovedhimtohorror。
  Itseemedtohimthathemustsettlethequestionatonceatallcosts,andthatthisquestionwasnotonethatdidnotconcernhim,butwashisownpersonalproblem。Hemadeanimmenseeffort,repressedhisdespair,and,sittingonthebed,holdinghisheadinhishands,beganthinkinghowonecouldsaveallthewomenhehadseenthatday。Themethodforattackingproblemsofallkindswas,ashewasaneducatedman,wellknowntohim。And,howeverexcitedhewas,hestrictlyadheredtothatmethod。Herecalledthehistoryoftheproblemanditsliterature,andforaquarterofanhourhepacedfromoneendoftheroomtotheothertryingtorememberallthemethodspracticedatthepresenttimeforsavingwomen。HehadverymanygoodfriendsandacquaintanceswholivedinlodgingsinPetersburg……Amongthemwereagoodmanyhonestandself-sacrificingmen。Someofthemhadattemptedtosavewomen……
  "Allthesenotverynumerousattempts,"thoughtVassilyev,"canbedividedintothreegroups。Some,afterbuyingthewomanoutofthebrothel,tookaroomforher,boughtherasewing-machine,andshebecameasemptress。Andwhetherhewantedtoornot,afterhavingboughtherouthemadeherhismistress;thenwhenhehadtakenhisdegree,hewentawayandhandedherintothekeepingofsomeotherdecentmanasthoughshewereathing。
  Andthefallenwomanremainedafallenwoman。Others,afterbuyingherout,tookalodgingapartforher,boughttheinevitablesewing-machine,andtriedteachinghertoread,preachingatherandgivingherbooks。Thewomanlivedandsewedaslongasitwasinterestingandanoveltytoher,thengettingbored,beganreceivingmenonthesly,orranawayandwentbackwhereshecouldsleeptillthreeo’clock,drinkcoffee,andhavegooddinners。Thethirdclass,themostardentandself-sacrificing,hadtakenabold,resolutestep。Theyhadmarriedthem。Andwhentheinsolentandspoilt,orstupidandcrushedanimalbecameawife,theheadofahousehold,andafterwardsamother,itturnedherwholeexistenceandattitudetolifeupsidedown,sothatitwashardtorecognizethefallenwomanafterwardsinthewifeandthemother。Yes,marriagewasthebestandperhapstheonlymeans。"
  "Butitisimpossible!"Vassilyevsaidaloud,andhesankuponhisbed。"I,tobeginwith,couldnotmarryone!Todothatonemustbeasaintandbeunabletofeelhatredorrepulsion。ButsupposingthatI,themedicalstudent,andtheartistmasteredourselvesanddidmarrythem——supposetheywereallmarried。
  Whatwouldbetheresult?TheresultwouldbethatwhilehereinMoscowtheywerebeingmarried,someSmolenskaccountantwouldbedebauchinganotherlot,andthatlotwouldbestreamingheretofillthevacantplaces,togetherwithothersfromSaratov,Nizhni-Novgorod,Warsaw……AndwhatisonetodowiththehundredthousandinLondon?What’sonetodowiththoseinHamburg?"
  Thelampinwhichtheoilhadburntdownbegantosmoke。
  Vassilyevdidnotnoticeit。Hebeganpacingtoandfroagain,stillthinking。Nowheputthequestiondifferently:whatmustbedonethatfallenwomenshouldnotbeneeded?Forthat,itwasessentialthatthemenwhobuythemanddothemtodeathshouldfeelalltheimmoralityoftheirshareinenslavingthemandshouldbehorrified。Onemustsavethemen。
  "Onewon’tdoanythingbyartandscience,thatisclear……"
  thoughtVassilyev。"Theonlywayoutofitismissionarywork。"
  Andhebegantodreamhowhewouldthenexteveningstandatthecornerofthestreetandsaytoeverypasser-by:"Whereareyougoingandwhatfor?HavesomefearofGod!"
  Hewouldturntotheapatheticcabmenandsaytothem:"Whyareyoustayinghere?Whyaren’tyourevolted?Whyaren’tyouindignant?IsupposeyoubelieveinGodandknowthatitisasin,thatpeoplegotohellforit?Whydon’tyouspeak?Itistruethattheyarestrangerstoyou,butyouknoweventheyhavefathers,brotherslikeyourselves……"
  OneofVassilyev’sfriendshadoncesaidofhimthathewasatalentedman。Thereareallsortsoftalents——talentforwriting,talentforthestage,talentforart;buthehadapeculiartalent——atalentfor_humanity_。Hepossessedanextraordinarilyfinedelicatescentforpainingeneral。Asagoodactorreflectsinhimselfthemovementsandvoiceofothers,soVassilyevcouldreflectinhissoulthesufferingsofothers。
  Whenhesawtears,hewept;besideasickman,hefeltsickhimselfandmoaned;ifhesawanactofviolence,hefeltasthoughhehimselfwerethevictimofit,hewasfrightenedasachild,andinhisfrightrantohelp。Thepainofothersworkedonhisnerves,excitedhim,rousedhimtoastateoffrenzy,andsoon。
  WhetherthisfriendwererightIdon’tknow,butwhatVassilyevexperiencedwhenhethoughtthisquestionwassettledwassomethinglikeinspiration。Hecriedandlaughed,spokealoudthewordsthatheshouldsaynextday,feltaferventloveforthosewhowouldlistentohimandwouldstandbesidehimatthecornerofthestreettopreach;hesatdowntowriteletters,madevowstohimself……
  Allthiswaslikeinspirationalsofromthefactthatitdidnotlastlong。Vassilyevwassoontired。ThecasesinLondon,inHamburg,inWarsaw,weigheduponhimbytheirmassasamountainweighsupontheearth;hefeltdispirited,bewildered,inthefaceofthismass;herememberedthathehadnotagiftforwords,thathewascowardlyandtimid,thatindifferentpeoplewouldnotbewillingtolistenandunderstandhim,alawstudentinhisthirdyear,atimidandinsignificantperson;thatgenuinemissionaryworkincludednotonlyteachingbutdeeds……
  Whenitwasdaylightandcarriageswerealreadybeginningtorumbleinthestreet,Vassilyevwaslyingmotionlessonthesofa,staringintospace。Hewasnolongerthinkingofthewomen,norofthemen,norofmissionarywork。Hiswholeattentionwasturneduponthespiritualagonywhichwastorturinghim。Itwasadull,vague,undefinedanguishakintomisery,toanextremeformofterrorandtodespair。Hecouldpointtotheplacewherethepainwas,inhisbreastunderhisheart;buthecouldnotcompareitwithanything。Inthepasthehadhadacutetoothache,hehadhadpleurisyandneuralgia,butallthatwasinsignificantcomparedwiththisspiritualanguish。Inthepresenceofthatpainlifeseemedloathsome。Thedissertation,theexcellentworkhehadwrittenalready,thepeopleheloved,thesalvationoffallenwomen——everythingthatonlythedaybeforehehadcaredaboutorbeenindifferentto,nowwhenhethoughtofthemirritatedhiminthesamewayasthenoiseofthecarriages,thescurryingfootstepsofthewaitersinthepassage,thedaylight……Ifatthatmomentsomeonehadperformedagreatdeedofmercyorhadcommittedarevoltingoutrage,hewouldhavefeltthesamerepulsionforbothactions。
  Ofallthethoughtsthatstrayedthroughhismindonlytwodidnotirritatehim:onewasthatateverymomenthehadthepowertokillhimself,theotherthatthisagonywouldnotlastmorethanthreedays。Thislastheknewbyexperience。
  Afterlyingforawhilehegotupand,wringinghishands,walkedabouttheroom,notasusualfromcornertocorner,butroundtheroombesidethewalls。Ashepassedheglancedathimselfinthelooking-glass。Hisfacelookedpaleandsunken,histempleslookedhollow,hiseyeswerebigger,darker,morestaring,asthoughtheybelongedtosomeoneelse,andtheyhadanexpressionofinsufferablementalagony。
  Atmiddaytheartistknockedatthedoor。
  "Grigory,areyouathome?"heasked。
  Gettingnoanswer,hestoodforaminute,pondered,andansweredhimselfinLittleRussian:"Nay。TheconfoundedfellowhasgonetotheUniversity。"
  Andhewentaway。Vassilyevlaydownonthebedand,thrustinghisheadunderthepillow,begancryingwithagony,andthemorefreelyhistearsflowedthemoreterriblehismentalanguishbecame。Asitbegantogetdark,hethoughtoftheagonizingnightawaitinghim,andwasovercomebyahorribledespair。Hedressedquickly,ranoutofhisroom,and,leavinghisdoorwideopen,fornoobjectorreason,wentoutintothestreet。Withoutaskinghimselfwhereheshouldgo,hewalkedquicklyalongSadovoyStreet。
  Snowwasfallingasheavilyasthedaybefore;itwasthawing。
  Thrustinghishandsintohissleeves,shudderingandfrightenedatthenoises,atthetrambells,andatthepassers-by,VassilyevwalkedalongSadovoyStreetasfarasSuharevTower;thentotheRedGate;fromthereheturnedofftoBasmannyaStreet。Hewentintoatavernanddrankoffabigglassofvodka,butthatdidnotmakehimfeelbetter。WhenhereachedRazgulyaheturnedtotheright,andstrodealongsidestreetsinwhichhehadneverbeenbeforeinhislife。HereachedtheoldbridgebywhichtheYauzarunsgurgling,andfromwhichonecanseelongrowsoflightsinthewindowsoftheRedBarracks。Todistracthisspiritualanguishbysomenewsensationorsomeotherpain,Vassilyev,notknowingwhattodo,cryingandshuddering,undidhisgreatcoatandjacketandexposedhisbarechesttothewetsnowandthewind。Butthatdidnotlessenhissufferingeither。
  Thenhebentdownovertherailofthebridgeandlookeddownintotheblack,yeastyYauza,andhelongedtoplungedownheadforemost;notfromloathingforlife,notforthesakeofsuicide,butinordertobruisehimselfatleast,andbyonepaintoeasetheother。Buttheblackwater,thedarkness,thedesertedbankscoveredwithsnowwereterrifying。Heshiveredandwalkedon。HewalkedupanddownbytheRedBarracks,thenturnedbackandwentdowntoacopse,fromthecopsebacktothebridgeagain"No,home,home!"hethought。"AthomeIbelieveit’sbetter……"
  Andhewentback。Whenhereachedhomehepulledoffhiswetcoatandcap,beganpacingroundtheroom,andwentonpacingroundandroundwithoutstoppingtillmorning。
  VII
  Whennextmorningtheartistandthemedicalstudentwentintohim,hewasmovingabouttheroomwithhisshirttorn,bitinghishandsandmoaningwithpain。
  "ForGod’ssake!"hesobbedwhenhesawhisfriends,"takemewhereyouplease,dowhatyoucan;butforGod’ssake,savemequickly!Ishallkillmyself!"
  Theartistturnedpaleandwashelpless。Themedicalstudent,too,almostshedtears,butconsideringthatdoctorsoughttobecoolandcomposedineveryemergencysaidcoldly:
  "It’sanervousbreakdown。Butit’snothing。Letusgoatoncetothedoctor。"
  "Whereveryoulike,onlyforGod’ssake,makehaste"
  "Don’texciteyourself。Youmusttryandcontrolyourself。"
  TheartistandthemedicalstudentwithtremblinghandsputVassilyev’scoatandhatonandledhimoutintothestreet。
  "MihailSergeyitchhasbeenwantingtomakeyouracquaintanceforalongtime,"themedicalstudentsaidontheway。"Heisaverynicemanandthoroughlygoodathiswork。Hetookhisdegreein1882,andhehasanimmensepracticealready。Hetreatsstudentsasthoughhewereonehimself。"
  "Makehaste,makehaste!……"Vassilyevurged。
  MihailSergeyitch,astout,fair-haireddoctor,receivedthefriendswithpolitenessandfrigiddignity,andsmiledonlyononesideofhisface。
  "RybnikovandMayerhavespokentomeofyourillnessalready,"
  hesaid。"Verygladtobeofservicetoyou。Well?Sitdown,I
  beg……"
  HemadeVassilyevsitdowninabigarmchairnearthetable,andmovedaboxofcigarettestowardshim。
  "Nowthen!"hebegan,strokinghisknees。"Letusgettowork……Howoldareyou?"
  Heaskedquestionsandthemedicalstudentansweredthem。HeaskedwhetherVassilyev’sfatherhadsufferedfromcertainspecialdiseases,whetherhedranktoexcess,whetherhewereremarkableforcrueltyoranypeculiarities。Hemadesimilarinquiriesabouthisgrandfather,mother,sisters,andbrothers。
  Onlearningthathismotherhadabeautifulvoiceandsometimesactedonthestage,hegrewmoreanimatedatonce,andasked:
  "Excuseme,butdon’tyouremember,perhaps,yourmotherhadapassionforthestage?"
  Twentyminutespassed。Vassilyevwasannoyedbythewaythedoctorkeptstrokinghiskneesandtalkingofthesamething。
  "SofarasIunderstandyourquestions,doctor,"hesaid,"youwanttoknowwhethermyillnessishereditaryornot。Itisnot。"
  ThedoctorproceededtoaskVassilyevwhetherhehadhadanysecretvicesasaboy,orhadreceivedinjuriestohishead;
  whetherhehadhadanyaberrations,anypeculiarities,orexceptionalpropensities。Halfthequestionsusuallyaskedbydoctorsoftheirpatientscanbeleftunansweredwithouttheslightestilleffectonthehealth,butMihailSergeyitch,themedicalstudent,andtheartistalllookedasthoughifVassilyevfailedtoansweronequestionallwouldbelost。Ashereceivedanswers,thedoctorforsomereasonnotedthemdownonaslipofpaper。OnlearningthatVassilyevhadtakenhisdegreeinnaturalscience,andwasnowstudyinglaw,thedoctorpondered。
  "Hewroteafirst-ratepieceoforiginalworklastyear,……"
  saidthemedicalstudent。
  "Ibegyourpardon,butdon’tinterruptme;youpreventmefromconcentrating,"saidthedoctor,andhesmiledononesideofhisface。"Though,ofcourse,thatdoesenterintothediagnosis。
  Intenseintellectualwork,nervousexhaustion……Yes,yes……Anddoyoudrinkvodka?"hesaid,addressingVassilyev。
  "Veryrarely。"
  Anothertwentyminutespassed。Themedicalstudentbegantellingthedoctorinalowvoicehisopinionastotheimmediatecauseoftheattack,anddescribedhowthedaybeforeyesterdaytheartist,Vassilyev,andhehadvisitedS。Street。
  Theindifferent,reserved,andfrigidtoneinwhichhisfriendsandthedoctorspokeofthewomenandthatmiserablestreetstruckVassilyevasstrangeintheextreme……
  "Doctor,tellmeonethingonly,"hesaid,controllinghimselfsoasnottospeakrudely。"Isprostitutionanevilornot?"
  "Mydearfellow,whodisputesit?"saidthedoctor,withanexpressionthatsuggestedthathehadsettledallsuchquestionsforhimselflongago。"Whodisputesit?"
  "Youareamentaldoctor,aren’tyou?"Vassilyevaskedcurtly。
  "Yes,amentaldoctor。"
  "Perhapsallofyouareright!"saidVassilyev,gettingupandbeginningtowalkfromoneendoftheroomtotheother。
  "Perhaps!Butitallseemsmarveloustome!ThatIshouldhavetakenmydegreeintwofacultiesyoulookuponasagreatachievement;becauseIhavewrittenaworkwhichinthreeyearswillbethrownasideandforgotten,Iampraiseduptotheskies;
  butbecauseIcannotspeakoffallenwomenasunconcernedlyasofthesechairs,Iambeingexaminedbyadoctor,Iamcalledmad,Iampitied!"
  Vassilyevforsomereasonfeltallatonceunutterablysorryforhimself,andhiscompanions,andallthepeoplehehadseentwodaysbefore,andforthedoctor;heburstintotearsandsankintoachair。
  Hisfriendslookedinquiringlyatthedoctor。Thelatter,withtheairofcompletelycomprehendingthetearsandthedespair,offeelinghimselfaspecialistinthatline,wentuptoVassilyevand,withoutaword,gavehimsomemedicinetodrink;andthen,whenhewascalmer,undressedhimandbegantoinvestigatethedegreeofsensibilityoftheskin,thereflexactionoftheknees,andsoon。
  AndVassilyevfelteasier。Whenhecameoutfromthedoctor’shewasbeginningtofeelashamed;therattleofthecarriagesnolongerirritatedhim,andtheloadathisheartgrewlighterandlighterasthoughitweremeltingaway。Hehadtwoprescriptionsinhishand:onewasforbromide,onewasformorphia……Hehadtakenalltheseremediesbefore。
  Inthestreethestoodstilland,sayinggood-bytohisfriends,draggedhimselflanguidlytotheUniversity。
  MISERY
  "TowhomshallItellmygrief?"
  THEtwilightofevening。Bigflakesofwetsnowarewhirlinglazilyaboutthestreetlamps,whichhavejustbeenlighted,andlyinginathinsoftlayeronroofs,horses’backs,shoulders,caps。IonaPotapov,thesledge-driver,isallwhitelikeaghost。Hesitsontheboxwithoutstirring,bentasdoubleasthelivingbodycanbebent。Ifaregularsnowdriftfellonhimitseemsasthougheventhenhewouldnotthinkitnecessarytoshakeitoff……Hislittlemareiswhiteandmotionlesstoo。Herstillness,theangularityofherlines,andthestick-likestraightnessofherlegsmakeherlooklikeahalfpennygingerbreadhorse。Sheisprobablylostinthought。
  Anyonewhohasbeentornawayfromtheplough,fromthefamiliargraylandscapes,andcastintothisslough,fullofmonstrouslights,ofunceasinguproarandhurryingpeople,isboundtothink。
  ItisalongtimesinceIonaandhisnaghavebudged。Theycameoutoftheyardbeforedinnertimeandnotasinglefareyet。Butnowtheshadesofeveningarefallingonthetown。Thepalelightofthestreetlampschangestoavividcolor,andthebustleofthestreetgrowsnoisier。
  "SledgetoVyborgskaya!"Ionahears。"Sledge!"
  Ionastarts,andthroughhissnow-plasteredeyelashesseesanofficerinamilitaryovercoatwithahoodoverhishead。
  "ToVyborgskaya,"repeatstheofficer。"Areyouasleep?ToVyborgskaya!"
  IntokenofassentIonagivesatugatthereinswhichsendscakesofsnowflyingfromthehorse’sbackandshoulders。Theofficergetsintothesledge。Thesledge-driverclickstothehorse,craneshisnecklikeaswan,risesinhisseat,andmorefromhabitthannecessitybrandisheshiswhip。Themarecranesherneck,too,crooksherstick-likelegs,andhesitatinglysetsof……
  "Whereareyoushoving,youdevil?"Ionaimmediatelyhearsshoutsfromthedarkmassshiftingtoandfrobeforehim。"Wherethedevilareyougoing?Keeptother-right!"
  "Youdon’tknowhowtodrive!Keeptotheright,"saystheofficerangrily。
  Acoachmandrivingacarriageswearsathim;apedestriancrossingtheroadandbrushingthehorse’snosewithhisshoulderlooksathimangrilyandshakesthesnowoffhissleeve。Ionafidgetsontheboxasthoughheweresittingonthorns,jerkshiselbows,andturnshiseyesaboutlikeonepossessedasthoughhedidnotknowwherehewasorwhyhewasthere。
  "Whatrascalstheyallare!"saystheofficerjocosely。"Theyaresimplydoingtheirbesttorunupagainstyouorfallunderthehorse’sfeet。Theymustbedoingitonpurpose。"
  Ionalooksashisfareandmoveshislips……Apparentlyhemeanstosaysomething,butnothingcomesbutasniff。
  "What?"inquirestheofficer。
  Ionagivesawrysmile,andstraininghisthroat,bringsouthuskily:"Myson……er……mysondiedthisweek,sir。"
  "H’m!Whatdidhedieof?"
  Ionaturnshiswholebodyroundtohisfare,andsays:
  "Whocantell!Itmusthavebeenfromfever……Helaythreedaysinthehospitalandthenhedied……God’swill。"
  "Turnround,youdevil!"comesoutofthedarkness。"Haveyougonecracked,youolddog?Lookwhereyouaregoing!"
  "Driveon!driveon!……"saystheofficer。"Weshan’tgettheretillto-morrowgoingonlikethis。Hurryup!"
  Thesledge-drivercraneshisneckagain,risesinhisseat,andwithheavygraceswingshiswhip。Severaltimeshelooksroundattheofficer,butthelatterkeepshiseyesshutandisapparentlydisinclinedtolisten。PuttinghisfaredownatVyborgskaya,Ionastopsbyarestaurant,andagainsitshuddleduponthebox……Againthewetsnowpaintshimandhishorsewhite。Onehourpasses,andthenanother……
  Threeyoungmen,twotallandthin,oneshortandhunchbacked,comeup,railingateachotherandloudlystampingonthepavementwiththeirgoloshes。
  "Cabby,tothePoliceBridge!"thehunchbackcriesinacrackedvoice。"Thethreeofus,……twentykopecks!"
  Ionatugsatthereinsandclickstohishorse。Twentykopecksisnotafairprice,buthehasnothoughtsforthat。Whetheritisaroubleorwhetheritisfivekopecksdoesnotmattertohimnowsolongashehasafare……Thethreeyoungmen,shovingeachotherandusingbadlanguage,gouptothesledge,andallthreetrytositdownatonce。Thequestionremainstobesettled:Whicharetositdownandwhichoneistostand?Afteralongaltercation,ill-temper,andabuse,theycometotheconclusionthatthehunchbackmuststandbecauseheistheshortest。
  "Well,driveon,"saysthehunchbackinhiscrackedvoice,settlinghimselfandbreathingdownIona’sneck。"Cutalong!Whatacapyou’vegot,myfriend!Youwouldn’tfindaworseoneinallPetersburg……"
  "He-he!……he-he!……"laughsIona。"It’snothingtoboastof!"
  "Well,then,nothingtoboastof,driveon!Areyougoingtodrivelikethisalltheway?Eh?ShallIgiveyouoneintheneck?"
  "Myheadaches,"saysoneofthetallones。"AttheDukmasovs’
  yesterdayVaskaandIdrankfourbottlesofbrandybetweenus。"
  "Ican’tmakeoutwhyyoutalksuchstuff,"saystheothertalloneangrily。"Youlielikeabrute。"
  "Strikemedead,it’sthetruth!……"
  "It’saboutastrueasthatalousecoughs。"
  "He-he!"grinsIona。"Me-er-rygentlemen!"
  "Tfoo!thedeviltakeyou!"criesthehunchbackindignantly。
  "Willyougeton,youoldplague,orwon’tyou?Isthatthewaytodrive?Giveheronewiththewhip。Hangitall,giveitherwell。"
  Ionafeelsbehindhisbackthejoltingpersonandquiveringvoiceofthehunchback。Hehearsabuseaddressedtohim,heseespeople,andthefeelingoflonelinessbeginslittlebylittletobelessheavyonhisheart。Thehunchbackswearsathim,tillhechokesoversomeelaboratelywhimsicalstringofepithetsandisoverpoweredbyhiscough。HistallcompanionsbegintalkingofacertainNadyezhdaPetrovna。Ionalooksroundatthem。Waitingtillthereisabriefpause,helooksroundoncemoreandsays:
  "Thisweek……er……my……er……sondied!"
  "Weshallalldie,……"saysthehunchbackwithasigh,wipinghislipsaftercoughing。"Come,driveon!driveon!Myfriends,I
  simplycannotstandcrawlinglikethis!Whenwillhegetusthere?"
  "Well,yougivehimalittleencouragement……oneintheneck!"
  "Doyouhear,youoldplague?I’llmakeyousmart。Ifonestandsonceremonywithfellowslikeyouonemayaswellwalk。Doyouhear,youolddragon?Ordon’tyoucareahangwhatwesay?"
  AndIonahearsratherthanfeelsaslaponthebackofhisneck。
  "He-he!……"helaughs。"Merrygentlemen……Godgiveyouhealth!"
  "Cabman,areyoumarried?"asksoneofthetallones。
  "I?Hehe!Me-er-rygentlemen。Theonlywifeformenowisthedampearth……He-ho-ho!……Thegravethatis!……Heremyson’sdeadandIamalive……It’sastrangething,deathhascomeinatthewrongdoor……Insteadofcomingformeitwentformyson……"
  AndIonaturnsroundtotellthemhowhissondied,butatthatpointthehunchbackgivesafaintsighandannouncesthat,thankGod!theyhavearrivedatlast。Aftertakinghistwentykopecks,Ionagazesforalongwhileaftertherevelers,whodisappearintoadarkentry。Againheisaloneandagainthereissilenceforhim……Themiserywhichhasbeenforabriefspaceeasedcomesbackagainandtearshisheartmorecruellythanever。WithalookofanxietyandsufferingIona’seyesstrayrestlesslyamongthecrowdsmovingtoandfroonbothsidesofthestreet:
  canhenotfindamongthosethousandssomeonewhowilllistentohim?Butthecrowdsflitbyheedlessofhimandhismisery……
  Hismiseryisimmense,beyondallbounds。IfIona’sheartweretoburstandhismiserytoflowout,itwouldfloodthewholeworld,itseems,butyetitisnotseen。Ithasfoundahiding-placeinsuchaninsignificantshellthatonewouldnothavefounditwithacandlebydaylight……
  Ionaseesahouse-porterwithaparcelandmakesuphismindtoaddresshim。
  "Whattimewillitbe,friend?"heasks。
  "Goingonforten……Whyhaveyoustoppedhere?Driveon!"
  Ionadrivesafewpacesaway,bendshimselfdouble,andgiveshimselfuptohismisery。Hefeelsitisnogoodtoappealtopeople。Butbeforefiveminuteshavepassedhedrawshimselfup,shakeshisheadasthoughhefeelsasharppain,andtugsatthereins……Hecanbearitnolonger。
  "Backtotheyard!"hethinks。"Totheyard!"
  Andhislittlemare,asthoughsheknewhisthoughts,fallstotrotting。AnhourandahalflaterIonaissittingbyabigdirtystove。Onthestove,onthefloor,andonthebenchesarepeoplesnoring。Theairisfullofsmellsandstuffiness。Ionalooksatthesleepingfigures,scratcheshimself,andregretsthathehascomehomesoearly……
  "Ihavenotearnedenoughtopayfortheoats,even,"hethinks。
  "That’swhyIamsomiserable。Amanwhoknowshowtodohiswork,……whohashadenoughtoeat,andwhosehorsehashadenoughtoeat,isalwaysatease……"
  Inoneofthecornersayoungcabmangetsup,clearshisthroatsleepily,andmakesforthewater-bucket。
  "Wantadrink?"Ionaaskshim。
  "Seemsso。"
  "Mayitdoyougood……Butmysonisdead,mate……Doyouhear?Thisweekinthehospital……It’saqueerbusiness……"
  Ionalookstoseetheeffectproducedbyhiswords,butheseesnothing。Theyoungmanhascoveredhisheadoverandisalreadyasleep。Theoldmansighsandscratcheshimself……Justastheyoungmanhadbeenthirstyforwater,hethirstsforspeech。
  Hissonwillsoonhavebeendeadaweek,andhehasnotreallytalkedtoanybodyyet……Hewantstotalkofitproperly,withdeliberation……Hewantstotellhowhissonwastakenill,howhesuffered,whathesaidbeforehedied,howhedied……Hewantstodescribethefuneral,andhowhewenttothehospitaltogethisson’sclothes。HestillhashisdaughterAnisyainthecountry……Andhewantstotalkabouthertoo……Yes,hehasplentytotalkaboutnow。Hislisteneroughttosighandexclaimandlament……Itwouldbeevenbettertotalktowomen。Thoughtheyaresillycreatures,theyblubberatthefirstword。
  "Let’sgooutandhavealookatthemare,"Ionathinks。"Thereisalwaystimeforsleep……You’llhavesleepenough,nofear……"
  Heputsonhiscoatandgoesintothestableswherehismareisstanding。Hethinksaboutoats,abouthay,abouttheweather……Hecannotthinkabouthissonwhenheisalone……Totalkabouthimwithsomeoneispossible,buttothinkofhimandpicturehimisinsufferableanguish……
  "Areyoumunching?"Ionaaskshismare,seeinghershiningeyes。
  "There,munchaway,munchaway……Sincewehavenotearnedenoughforoats,wewilleathay……Yes,……Ihavegrowntoooldtodrive……Mysonoughttobedriving,notI……
  Hewasarealcabman……Heoughttohavelived……"
  Ionaissilentforawhile,andthenhegoeson:
  "That’showitis,oldgirl……KuzmaIonitchisgone……
  Hesaidgood-bytome……Hewentanddiedfornoreason……Now,supposeyouhadalittlecolt,andyouwereownmothertothatlittlecolt……Andallatoncethatsamelittlecoltwentanddied……You’dbesorry,wouldn’tyou?……"
  Thelittlemaremunches,listens,andbreathesonhermaster’shands。Ionaiscarriedawayandtellsherallaboutit。
  CHAMPAGNE
  AWAYFARER’SSTORY
  INtheyearinwhichmystorybeginsIhadajobatalittlestationononeofoursouthwesternrailways。WhetherIhadagayoradulllifeatthestationyoucanjudgefromthefactthatforfifteenmilesroundtherewasnotonehumanhabitation,notonewoman,notonedecenttavern;andinthosedaysIwasyoung,strong,hot-headed,giddy,andfoolish。TheonlydistractionIcouldpossiblyfindwasinthewindowsofthepassengertrains,andinthevilevodkawhichtheJewsdruggedwiththorn-apple。Sometimestherewouldbeaglimpseofawoman’sheadatacarriagewindow,andonewouldstandlikeastatuewithoutbreathingandstareatituntilthetrainturnedintoanalmostinvisiblespeck;oronewoulddrinkallonecouldoftheloathsomevodkatillonewasstupefiedanddidnotfeelthepassingofthelonghoursanddays。Uponme,anativeofthenorth,thesteppeproducedtheeffectofadesertedTatarcemetery。Inthesummerthesteppewithitssolemncalm,themonotonouschurofthegrasshoppers,thetransparentmoonlightfromwhichonecouldnothide,reducedmetolistlessmelancholy;
  andinthewintertheirreproachablewhitenessofthesteppe,itscolddistance,longnights,andhowlingwolvesoppressedmelikeaheavynightmare。Therewereseveralpeoplelivingatthestation:mywifeandI,adeafandscrofuloustelegraphclerk,andthreewatchmen。Myassistant,ayoungmanwhowasinconsumption,usedtogofortreatmenttothetown,wherehestayedformonthsatatime,leavinghisdutiestometogetherwiththerightofpocketinghissalary。Ihadnochildren,nocakewouldhavetemptedvisitorstocomeandseeme,andIcouldonlyvisitotherofficialsontheline,andthatnooftenerthanonceamonth。