Vassilyevwentintothedrawing-roomandsatdown。Therewereanumberofvisitorsintheroombesideshimandhisfriends:twoinfantryofficers,abald,gray-hairedgentlemaninspectacles,twobeardlessyouthsfromtheinstituteofland-surveying,andaverytipsymanwholookedlikeanactor。AlltheyoungladiesweretakenupwiththesevisitorsandpaidnoattentiontoVassilyev。
Onlyoneofthem,dressed_alaAida,_glancedsidewaysathim,smiled,andsaid,yawning:"Adarkonehascome……"
Vassilyev’sheartwasthrobbingandhisfaceburned。Hefeltashamedbeforethesevisitorsofhispresencehere,andhefeltdisgustedandmiserable。Hewastormentedbythethoughtthathe,adecentandlovingman(suchashehadhithertoconsideredhimself),hatedthesewomenandfeltnothingbutrepulsiontowardsthem。Hefeltpityneitherforthewomennorthemusiciansnortheflunkeys。
"ItisbecauseIamnottryingtounderstandthem,"hethought。
"Theyareallmorelikeanimalsthanhumanbeings,butofcoursetheyarehumanbeingsallthesame,theyhavesouls。Onemustunderstandthemandthenjudge……"
"Grisha,don’tgo,waitforus,"theartistshoutedtohimanddisappeared。
Themedicalstudentdisappearedsoonafter。
"Yes,onemustmakeanefforttounderstand,onemustn’tbelikethis……"Vassilyevwentonthinking。
Andhebegangazingateachofthewomenwithstrainedattention,lookingforaguiltysmile。Buteitherhedidnotknowhowtoreadtheirfaces,ornotoneofthesewomenfeltherselftobeguilty;hereadoneveryfacenothingbutablankexpressionofeverydayvulgarboredomandcomplacency。Stupidfaces,stupidsmiles,harsh,stupidvoices,insolentmovements,andnothingelse。Apparentlyeachofthemhadinthepastaromancewithanaccountantbasedonunderclothesforfiftyroubles,andlookedfornoothercharminthepresentbutcoffee,adinnerofthreecourses,wines,quadrilles,sleepingtilltwointheafternoon……
Findingnoguiltysmile,Vassilyevbegantolookwhethertherewasnotoneintelligentface。Andhisattentionwascaughtbyonepale,rathersleepy,exhausted-lookingface……Itwasadarkwoman,notveryyoung,wearingadresscoveredwithspangles;
shewassittinginaneasy-chair,lookingatthefloorlostinthought。Vassilyevwalkedfromonecorneroftheroomtotheother,and,asthoughcasually,satdownbesideher。
"Imustbeginwithsomethingtrivial,"hethought,"andpasstowhatisserious……"
"Whataprettydressyouhave,"andwithhisfingerhetouchedthegoldfringeofherfichu。
"Oh,isit?……"saidthedarkwomanlistlessly。
"Whatprovincedoyoucomefrom?"
"I?Fromadistance……FromTchernigov。"
"Afineprovince。It’snicethere。"
"Anyplaceseemsnicewhenoneisnotinit。"
"It’sapityIcannotdescribenature,"thoughtVassilyev。"I
mighttouchherbyadescriptionofnatureinTchernigov。Nodoubtshelovestheplaceifshehasbeenbornthere。"
"Areyoudullhere?"heasked。
"OfcourseIamdull。"
"Whydon’tyougoawayfromhereifyouaredull?"
"WhereshouldIgoto?Gobeggingorwhat?"
"Beggingwouldbeeasierthanlivinghere。"
Howdoyouknowthat?Haveyoubegged?"
"Yes,whenIhadn’tthemoneytostudy。EvenifIhadn’tanyonecouldunderstandthat。Abeggarisanywayafreeman,andyouareaslave。"
Thedarkwomanstretched,andwatchedwithsleepyeyesthefootmanwhowasbringingatrayfulofglassesandseltzerwater。
"Standmeaglassofporter,"shesaid,andyawnedagain。
"Porter,"thoughtVassilyev。"Andwhatifyourbrotherormotherwalkedinatthismoment?Whatwouldyousay?Andwhatwouldtheysay?Therewouldbeporterthen,Iimagine……"
Allatoncetherewasthesoundofweeping。Fromtheadjoiningroom,fromwhichthefootmanhadbroughttheseltzerwater,afairmanwitharedfaceandangryeyesraninquickly。Hewasfollowedbythetall,stout"madam,"whowasshoutinginashrillvoice:
"Nobodyhasgivenyouleavetoslapgirlsonthecheeks!Wehavevisitorsbetterthanyou,andtheydon’tfight!Impostor!"
Ahubbubarose。Vassilyevwasfrightenedandturnedpale。Inthenextroomtherewasthesoundofbitter,genuineweeping,asthoughofsomeoneinsulted。Andherealizedthattherewererealpeoplelivingherewho,likepeopleeverywhereelse,feltinsulted,suffered,wept,andcriedforhelp。Thefeelingofoppressivehateanddisgustgavewaytoanacutefeelingofpityandangeragainsttheaggressor。Herushedintotheroomwheretherewasweeping。Acrossrowsofbottlesonamarble-toptablehedistinguishedasufferingface,wetwithtears,stretchedouthishandstowardsthatface,tookasteptowardsthetable,butatoncedrewbackinhorror。Theweepinggirlwasdrunk。
Ashemadehiswaythoughthenoisycrowdgatheredaboutthefairman,hisheartsankandhefeltfrightenedlikeachild;anditseemedtohimthatinthisalien,incomprehensibleworldpeoplewantedtopursuehim,tobeathim,topelthimwithfilthywords……Hetoredownhiscoatfromthehatstandandranheadlongdownstairs。
V
Leaningagainstthefence,hestoodnearthehousewaitingforhisfriendstocomeout。Thesoundsofthepianosandviolins,gay,reckless,insolent,andmournful,mingledintheairinasortofchaos,andthistangleofsoundsseemedagainlikeanunseenorchestratuningupontheroofs。Ifonelookedupwardsintothedarkness,theblackbackgroundwasallspangledwithwhite,movingspots:itwassnowfalling。Asthesnowflakescameintothelighttheyfloatedroundlazilyintheairlikedown,andstillmorelazilyfelltotheground。ThesnowflakeswhirledthicklyroundVassilyevandhunguponhisbeard,hiseyelashes,hiseyebrows……Thecabmen,thehorses,andthepassers-bywerewhite。
"Andhowcanthesnowfallinthisstreet!"thoughtVassilyev。
"Damnationtakethesehouses!"
Hislegsseemedtobegivingwayfromfatigue,simplyfromhavingrundownthestairs;hegaspedforbreathasthoughhehadbeenclimbinguphill,hisheartbeatsoloudlythathecouldhearit。
Hewasconsumedbyadesiretogetoutofthestreetasquicklyaspossibleandtogohome,butevenstrongerwashisdesiretowaitforhiscompanionsandventuponthemhisoppressivefeeling。
Therewasmuchhedidnotunderstandinthesehouses,thesoulsofruinedwomenwereamysterytohimasbefore;butitwascleartohimthatthethingwasfarworsethancouldhavebeenbelieved。Ifthatsinfulwomanwhohadpoisonedherselfwascalledfallen,itwasdifficulttofindafittingnameforallthesewhoweredancingnowtothistangleofsoundandutteringlong,loathsomesentences。Theywerenotontheroadtoruin,butruined。
"Thereisvice,"hethought,"butneitherconsciousnessofsinnorhopeofsalvation。Theyaresoldandbought,steepedinwineandabominations,whilethey,likesheep,arestupid,indifferent,anddon’tunderstand。MyGod!MyGod!"
Itwascleartohim,too,thateverythingthatiscalledhumandignity,personalrights,theDivineimageandsemblance,weredefiledtotheirveryfoundations——"totheverymarrow,"asdrunkardssay——andthatnotonlythestreetandthestupidwomenwereresponsibleforit。
Agroupofstudents,whitewithsnow,passedhimlaughingandtalkinggaily;one,atallthinfellow,stopped,glancedintoVassilyev’sface,andsaidinadrunkenvoice:
"Oneofus!Abiton,oldman?Aha-ha!Nevermind,haveagoodtime!Don’tbedown-hearted,oldchap!"
HetookVassilyevbytheshoulderandpressedhiscoldwetmustacheagainsthischeek,thenheslipped,staggered,and,wavingbothhands,cried:
"Holdon!Don’tupset!"
Andlaughing,herantoovertakehiscompanions。
Throughthenoisecamethesoundoftheartist’svoice:
"Don’tyoudaretohitthewomen!Iwon’tletyou,damnationtakeyou!Youscoundrels!"
Themedicalstudentappearedinthedoorway。Helookedfromsidetoside,andseeingVassilyev,saidinanagitatedvoice:
"Youhere!Itellyouit’sreallyimpossibletogoanywherewithYegor!Whatafellowheis!Idon’tunderstandhim!Hehasgotupascene!Doyouhear?Yegor!"heshoutedatthedoor。Yegor!"
"Iwon’tallowyoutohitwomen!"theartist’spiercingvoicesoundedfromabove。Somethingheavyandlumberingrolleddownthestairs。Itwastheartistfallingheadlong。Evidentlyhehadbeenpusheddownstairs。
Hepickedhimselfupfromtheground,shookhishat,and,withanangryandindignantface,brandishedhisfisttowardsthetopofthestairsandshouted:
"Scoundrels!Torturers!Bloodsuckers!Iwon’tallowyoutohitthem!Tohitaweak,drunkenwoman!Oh,youbrutes!……"
"Yegor!……Come,Yegor!……"themedicalstudentbeganimploringhim。"IgiveyoumywordofhonorI’llnevercomewithyouagain。OnmywordofhonorIwon’t!"
Littlebylittletheartistwaspacifiedandthefriendswenthomewards。
"Againstmywillanunknownforce,"hummedthemedicalstudent,"hasledmetothesemournfulshores。"
"Beholdthemill,"theartistchimedinalittlelater,"inruinsnow。Whatalotofsnow,HolyMother!Grisha,whydidyougo?Youareafunk,aregularoldwoman。"
Vassilyevwalkedbehindhiscompanions,lookedattheirbacks,andthought:
"Oneoftwothings:eitherweonlyfancyprostitutionisanevil,andweexaggerateit;or,ifprostitutionreallyisasgreatanevilasisgenerallyassumed,thesedearfriendsofmineareasmuchslaveowners,violators,andmurderers,astheinhabitantsofSyriaandCairo,thataredescribedinthe’Neva。’Nowtheyaresinging,laughing,talkingsense,buthaven’ttheyjustbeenexploitinghunger,ignorance,andstupidity?Theyhave——Ihavebeenawitnessofit。Whatistheuseoftheirhumanity,theirmedicine,theirpainting?Thescience,art,andloftysentimentsofthesesoul-destroyersremindmeofthepieceofbaconinthestory。Twobrigandsmurderedabeggarinaforest;theybegansharinghisclothesbetweenthem,andfoundinhiswalletapieceofbacon。’Wellfound,’saidoneofthem,’letushaveabit。’
’Whatdoyoumean?Howcanyou?’criedtheotherinhorror。’Haveyouforgottenthatto-dayisWednesday?’Andtheywouldnoteatit。Aftermurderingaman,theycameoutoftheforestinthefirmconvictionthattheywerekeepingthefast。Inthesamewaythesemen,afterbuyingwomen,gotheirwayimaginingthattheyareartistsandmenofscience……"
"Listen!"hesaidsharplyandangrily。"Whydoyoucomehere?Isitpossible——isitpossibleyoudon’tunderstandhowhorribleitis?Yourmedicalbookstellyouthateveryoneofthesewomendiesprematurelyofconsumptionorsomething;arttellsyouthatmorallytheyaredeadevenearlier。Everyoneofthemdiesbecauseshehasinhertimetoentertainfivehundredmenonanaverage,letussay。Eachoneofthemiskilledbyfivehundredmen。Youareamongthosefivehundred!Ifeachofyouinthecourseofyourlivesvisitsthisplaceorotherslikeittwohundredandfiftytimes,itfollowsthatonewomaniskilledforeverytwoofyou!Can’tyouunderstandthat?Isn’tithorribletomurder,twoofyou,threeofyou,fiveofyou,afoolish,hungrywoman!Ah!isn’titawful,myGod!"
"Iknewitwouldendlikethat,"theartistsaidfrowning。"Weoughtnottohavegonewiththisfoolandass!Youimagineyouhavegrandnotionsinyourheadnow,ideas,don’tyou?No,it’sthedevilknowswhat,butnotideas。Youarelookingatmenowwithhatredandrepulsion,butItellyouit’sbetteryoushouldsetuptwentymorehouseslikethosethanlooklikethat。
There’smoreviceinyourexpressionthaninthewholestreet!
Comealong,Volodya,lethimgotothedevil!He’safoolandanass,andthat’sall……"
"Wehumanbeingsdomurdereachother,"saidthemedicalstudent。
"It’simmoral,ofcourse,butphilosophizingdoesn’thelpit。
Good-by!"
AtTrubnoySquarethefriendssaidgood-byandparted。Whenhewasleftalone,Vassilyevstroderapidlyalongtheboulevard。Hefeltfrightenedofthedarkness,ofthesnowwhichwasfallinginheavyflakesontheground,andseemedasthoughitwouldcoverupthewholeworld;hefeltfrightenedofthestreetlampsshiningwithpalelightthroughthecloudsofsnow。Hissoulwaspossessedbyanunaccountable,faint-heartedterror。Passers-bycametowardshimfromtimetotime,buthetimidlymovedtooneside;itseemedtohimthatwomen,nonebutwomen,werecomingfromallsidesandstaringathim……
"It’sbeginning,"hethought,"Iamgoingtohaveabreakdown。"
VI
Athomehelayonhisbedandsaid,shudderingallover:"Theyarealive!Alive!MyGod,thosewomenarealive!"
Heencouragedhisimaginationinallsortsofwaystopicturehimselfthebrotherofafallenwoman,orherfather;thenafallenwomanherself,withherpaintedcheeks;anditallmovedhimtohorror。
Itseemedtohimthathemustsettlethequestionatonceatallcosts,andthatthisquestionwasnotonethatdidnotconcernhim,butwashisownpersonalproblem。Hemadeanimmenseeffort,repressedhisdespair,and,sittingonthebed,holdinghisheadinhishands,beganthinkinghowonecouldsaveallthewomenhehadseenthatday。Themethodforattackingproblemsofallkindswas,ashewasaneducatedman,wellknowntohim。And,howeverexcitedhewas,hestrictlyadheredtothatmethod。Herecalledthehistoryoftheproblemanditsliterature,andforaquarterofanhourhepacedfromoneendoftheroomtotheothertryingtorememberallthemethodspracticedatthepresenttimeforsavingwomen。HehadverymanygoodfriendsandacquaintanceswholivedinlodgingsinPetersburg……Amongthemwereagoodmanyhonestandself-sacrificingmen。Someofthemhadattemptedtosavewomen……
"Allthesenotverynumerousattempts,"thoughtVassilyev,"canbedividedintothreegroups。Some,afterbuyingthewomanoutofthebrothel,tookaroomforher,boughtherasewing-machine,andshebecameasemptress。Andwhetherhewantedtoornot,afterhavingboughtherouthemadeherhismistress;thenwhenhehadtakenhisdegree,hewentawayandhandedherintothekeepingofsomeotherdecentmanasthoughshewereathing。
Andthefallenwomanremainedafallenwoman。Others,afterbuyingherout,tookalodgingapartforher,boughttheinevitablesewing-machine,andtriedteachinghertoread,preachingatherandgivingherbooks。Thewomanlivedandsewedaslongasitwasinterestingandanoveltytoher,thengettingbored,beganreceivingmenonthesly,orranawayandwentbackwhereshecouldsleeptillthreeo’clock,drinkcoffee,andhavegooddinners。Thethirdclass,themostardentandself-sacrificing,hadtakenabold,resolutestep。Theyhadmarriedthem。Andwhentheinsolentandspoilt,orstupidandcrushedanimalbecameawife,theheadofahousehold,andafterwardsamother,itturnedherwholeexistenceandattitudetolifeupsidedown,sothatitwashardtorecognizethefallenwomanafterwardsinthewifeandthemother。Yes,marriagewasthebestandperhapstheonlymeans。"
"Butitisimpossible!"Vassilyevsaidaloud,andhesankuponhisbed。"I,tobeginwith,couldnotmarryone!Todothatonemustbeasaintandbeunabletofeelhatredorrepulsion。ButsupposingthatI,themedicalstudent,andtheartistmasteredourselvesanddidmarrythem——supposetheywereallmarried。
Whatwouldbetheresult?TheresultwouldbethatwhilehereinMoscowtheywerebeingmarried,someSmolenskaccountantwouldbedebauchinganotherlot,andthatlotwouldbestreamingheretofillthevacantplaces,togetherwithothersfromSaratov,Nizhni-Novgorod,Warsaw……AndwhatisonetodowiththehundredthousandinLondon?What’sonetodowiththoseinHamburg?"
Thelampinwhichtheoilhadburntdownbegantosmoke。
Vassilyevdidnotnoticeit。Hebeganpacingtoandfroagain,stillthinking。Nowheputthequestiondifferently:whatmustbedonethatfallenwomenshouldnotbeneeded?Forthat,itwasessentialthatthemenwhobuythemanddothemtodeathshouldfeelalltheimmoralityoftheirshareinenslavingthemandshouldbehorrified。Onemustsavethemen。
"Onewon’tdoanythingbyartandscience,thatisclear……"
thoughtVassilyev。"Theonlywayoutofitismissionarywork。"
Andhebegantodreamhowhewouldthenexteveningstandatthecornerofthestreetandsaytoeverypasser-by:"Whereareyougoingandwhatfor?HavesomefearofGod!"
Hewouldturntotheapatheticcabmenandsaytothem:"Whyareyoustayinghere?Whyaren’tyourevolted?Whyaren’tyouindignant?IsupposeyoubelieveinGodandknowthatitisasin,thatpeoplegotohellforit?Whydon’tyouspeak?Itistruethattheyarestrangerstoyou,butyouknoweventheyhavefathers,brotherslikeyourselves……"
OneofVassilyev’sfriendshadoncesaidofhimthathewasatalentedman。Thereareallsortsoftalents——talentforwriting,talentforthestage,talentforart;buthehadapeculiartalent——atalentfor_humanity_。Hepossessedanextraordinarilyfinedelicatescentforpainingeneral。Asagoodactorreflectsinhimselfthemovementsandvoiceofothers,soVassilyevcouldreflectinhissoulthesufferingsofothers。
Whenhesawtears,hewept;besideasickman,hefeltsickhimselfandmoaned;ifhesawanactofviolence,hefeltasthoughhehimselfwerethevictimofit,hewasfrightenedasachild,andinhisfrightrantohelp。Thepainofothersworkedonhisnerves,excitedhim,rousedhimtoastateoffrenzy,andsoon。
WhetherthisfriendwererightIdon’tknow,butwhatVassilyevexperiencedwhenhethoughtthisquestionwassettledwassomethinglikeinspiration。Hecriedandlaughed,spokealoudthewordsthatheshouldsaynextday,feltaferventloveforthosewhowouldlistentohimandwouldstandbesidehimatthecornerofthestreettopreach;hesatdowntowriteletters,madevowstohimself……
Allthiswaslikeinspirationalsofromthefactthatitdidnotlastlong。Vassilyevwassoontired。ThecasesinLondon,inHamburg,inWarsaw,weigheduponhimbytheirmassasamountainweighsupontheearth;hefeltdispirited,bewildered,inthefaceofthismass;herememberedthathehadnotagiftforwords,thathewascowardlyandtimid,thatindifferentpeoplewouldnotbewillingtolistenandunderstandhim,alawstudentinhisthirdyear,atimidandinsignificantperson;thatgenuinemissionaryworkincludednotonlyteachingbutdeeds……
Whenitwasdaylightandcarriageswerealreadybeginningtorumbleinthestreet,Vassilyevwaslyingmotionlessonthesofa,staringintospace。Hewasnolongerthinkingofthewomen,norofthemen,norofmissionarywork。Hiswholeattentionwasturneduponthespiritualagonywhichwastorturinghim。Itwasadull,vague,undefinedanguishakintomisery,toanextremeformofterrorandtodespair。Hecouldpointtotheplacewherethepainwas,inhisbreastunderhisheart;buthecouldnotcompareitwithanything。Inthepasthehadhadacutetoothache,hehadhadpleurisyandneuralgia,butallthatwasinsignificantcomparedwiththisspiritualanguish。Inthepresenceofthatpainlifeseemedloathsome。Thedissertation,theexcellentworkhehadwrittenalready,thepeopleheloved,thesalvationoffallenwomen——everythingthatonlythedaybeforehehadcaredaboutorbeenindifferentto,nowwhenhethoughtofthemirritatedhiminthesamewayasthenoiseofthecarriages,thescurryingfootstepsofthewaitersinthepassage,thedaylight……Ifatthatmomentsomeonehadperformedagreatdeedofmercyorhadcommittedarevoltingoutrage,hewouldhavefeltthesamerepulsionforbothactions。
Ofallthethoughtsthatstrayedthroughhismindonlytwodidnotirritatehim:onewasthatateverymomenthehadthepowertokillhimself,theotherthatthisagonywouldnotlastmorethanthreedays。Thislastheknewbyexperience。
Afterlyingforawhilehegotupand,wringinghishands,walkedabouttheroom,notasusualfromcornertocorner,butroundtheroombesidethewalls。Ashepassedheglancedathimselfinthelooking-glass。Hisfacelookedpaleandsunken,histempleslookedhollow,hiseyeswerebigger,darker,morestaring,asthoughtheybelongedtosomeoneelse,andtheyhadanexpressionofinsufferablementalagony。
Atmiddaytheartistknockedatthedoor。
"Grigory,areyouathome?"heasked。
Gettingnoanswer,hestoodforaminute,pondered,andansweredhimselfinLittleRussian:"Nay。TheconfoundedfellowhasgonetotheUniversity。"
Andhewentaway。Vassilyevlaydownonthebedand,thrustinghisheadunderthepillow,begancryingwithagony,andthemorefreelyhistearsflowedthemoreterriblehismentalanguishbecame。Asitbegantogetdark,hethoughtoftheagonizingnightawaitinghim,andwasovercomebyahorribledespair。Hedressedquickly,ranoutofhisroom,and,leavinghisdoorwideopen,fornoobjectorreason,wentoutintothestreet。Withoutaskinghimselfwhereheshouldgo,hewalkedquicklyalongSadovoyStreet。
Snowwasfallingasheavilyasthedaybefore;itwasthawing。
Thrustinghishandsintohissleeves,shudderingandfrightenedatthenoises,atthetrambells,andatthepassers-by,VassilyevwalkedalongSadovoyStreetasfarasSuharevTower;thentotheRedGate;fromthereheturnedofftoBasmannyaStreet。Hewentintoatavernanddrankoffabigglassofvodka,butthatdidnotmakehimfeelbetter。WhenhereachedRazgulyaheturnedtotheright,andstrodealongsidestreetsinwhichhehadneverbeenbeforeinhislife。HereachedtheoldbridgebywhichtheYauzarunsgurgling,andfromwhichonecanseelongrowsoflightsinthewindowsoftheRedBarracks。Todistracthisspiritualanguishbysomenewsensationorsomeotherpain,Vassilyev,notknowingwhattodo,cryingandshuddering,undidhisgreatcoatandjacketandexposedhisbarechesttothewetsnowandthewind。Butthatdidnotlessenhissufferingeither。
Thenhebentdownovertherailofthebridgeandlookeddownintotheblack,yeastyYauza,andhelongedtoplungedownheadforemost;notfromloathingforlife,notforthesakeofsuicide,butinordertobruisehimselfatleast,andbyonepaintoeasetheother。Buttheblackwater,thedarkness,thedesertedbankscoveredwithsnowwereterrifying。Heshiveredandwalkedon。HewalkedupanddownbytheRedBarracks,thenturnedbackandwentdowntoacopse,fromthecopsebacktothebridgeagain"No,home,home!"hethought。"AthomeIbelieveit’sbetter……"
Andhewentback。Whenhereachedhomehepulledoffhiswetcoatandcap,beganpacingroundtheroom,andwentonpacingroundandroundwithoutstoppingtillmorning。
VII
Whennextmorningtheartistandthemedicalstudentwentintohim,hewasmovingabouttheroomwithhisshirttorn,bitinghishandsandmoaningwithpain。
"ForGod’ssake!"hesobbedwhenhesawhisfriends,"takemewhereyouplease,dowhatyoucan;butforGod’ssake,savemequickly!Ishallkillmyself!"
Theartistturnedpaleandwashelpless。Themedicalstudent,too,almostshedtears,butconsideringthatdoctorsoughttobecoolandcomposedineveryemergencysaidcoldly:
"It’sanervousbreakdown。Butit’snothing。Letusgoatoncetothedoctor。"
"Whereveryoulike,onlyforGod’ssake,makehaste"
"Don’texciteyourself。Youmusttryandcontrolyourself。"
TheartistandthemedicalstudentwithtremblinghandsputVassilyev’scoatandhatonandledhimoutintothestreet。
"MihailSergeyitchhasbeenwantingtomakeyouracquaintanceforalongtime,"themedicalstudentsaidontheway。"Heisaverynicemanandthoroughlygoodathiswork。Hetookhisdegreein1882,andhehasanimmensepracticealready。Hetreatsstudentsasthoughhewereonehimself。"
"Makehaste,makehaste!……"Vassilyevurged。
MihailSergeyitch,astout,fair-haireddoctor,receivedthefriendswithpolitenessandfrigiddignity,andsmiledonlyononesideofhisface。
"RybnikovandMayerhavespokentomeofyourillnessalready,"
hesaid。"Verygladtobeofservicetoyou。Well?Sitdown,I
beg……"
HemadeVassilyevsitdowninabigarmchairnearthetable,andmovedaboxofcigarettestowardshim。
"Nowthen!"hebegan,strokinghisknees。"Letusgettowork……Howoldareyou?"
Heaskedquestionsandthemedicalstudentansweredthem。HeaskedwhetherVassilyev’sfatherhadsufferedfromcertainspecialdiseases,whetherhedranktoexcess,whetherhewereremarkableforcrueltyoranypeculiarities。Hemadesimilarinquiriesabouthisgrandfather,mother,sisters,andbrothers。
Onlearningthathismotherhadabeautifulvoiceandsometimesactedonthestage,hegrewmoreanimatedatonce,andasked:
"Excuseme,butdon’tyouremember,perhaps,yourmotherhadapassionforthestage?"
Twentyminutespassed。Vassilyevwasannoyedbythewaythedoctorkeptstrokinghiskneesandtalkingofthesamething。
"SofarasIunderstandyourquestions,doctor,"hesaid,"youwanttoknowwhethermyillnessishereditaryornot。Itisnot。"
ThedoctorproceededtoaskVassilyevwhetherhehadhadanysecretvicesasaboy,orhadreceivedinjuriestohishead;
whetherhehadhadanyaberrations,anypeculiarities,orexceptionalpropensities。Halfthequestionsusuallyaskedbydoctorsoftheirpatientscanbeleftunansweredwithouttheslightestilleffectonthehealth,butMihailSergeyitch,themedicalstudent,andtheartistalllookedasthoughifVassilyevfailedtoansweronequestionallwouldbelost。Ashereceivedanswers,thedoctorforsomereasonnotedthemdownonaslipofpaper。OnlearningthatVassilyevhadtakenhisdegreeinnaturalscience,andwasnowstudyinglaw,thedoctorpondered。
"Hewroteafirst-ratepieceoforiginalworklastyear,……"
saidthemedicalstudent。
"Ibegyourpardon,butdon’tinterruptme;youpreventmefromconcentrating,"saidthedoctor,andhesmiledononesideofhisface。"Though,ofcourse,thatdoesenterintothediagnosis。
Intenseintellectualwork,nervousexhaustion……Yes,yes……Anddoyoudrinkvodka?"hesaid,addressingVassilyev。
"Veryrarely。"
Anothertwentyminutespassed。Themedicalstudentbegantellingthedoctorinalowvoicehisopinionastotheimmediatecauseoftheattack,anddescribedhowthedaybeforeyesterdaytheartist,Vassilyev,andhehadvisitedS。Street。
Theindifferent,reserved,andfrigidtoneinwhichhisfriendsandthedoctorspokeofthewomenandthatmiserablestreetstruckVassilyevasstrangeintheextreme……
"Doctor,tellmeonethingonly,"hesaid,controllinghimselfsoasnottospeakrudely。"Isprostitutionanevilornot?"
"Mydearfellow,whodisputesit?"saidthedoctor,withanexpressionthatsuggestedthathehadsettledallsuchquestionsforhimselflongago。"Whodisputesit?"
"Youareamentaldoctor,aren’tyou?"Vassilyevaskedcurtly。
"Yes,amentaldoctor。"
"Perhapsallofyouareright!"saidVassilyev,gettingupandbeginningtowalkfromoneendoftheroomtotheother。
"Perhaps!Butitallseemsmarveloustome!ThatIshouldhavetakenmydegreeintwofacultiesyoulookuponasagreatachievement;becauseIhavewrittenaworkwhichinthreeyearswillbethrownasideandforgotten,Iampraiseduptotheskies;
butbecauseIcannotspeakoffallenwomenasunconcernedlyasofthesechairs,Iambeingexaminedbyadoctor,Iamcalledmad,Iampitied!"
Vassilyevforsomereasonfeltallatonceunutterablysorryforhimself,andhiscompanions,andallthepeoplehehadseentwodaysbefore,andforthedoctor;heburstintotearsandsankintoachair。
Hisfriendslookedinquiringlyatthedoctor。Thelatter,withtheairofcompletelycomprehendingthetearsandthedespair,offeelinghimselfaspecialistinthatline,wentuptoVassilyevand,withoutaword,gavehimsomemedicinetodrink;andthen,whenhewascalmer,undressedhimandbegantoinvestigatethedegreeofsensibilityoftheskin,thereflexactionoftheknees,andsoon。
AndVassilyevfelteasier。Whenhecameoutfromthedoctor’shewasbeginningtofeelashamed;therattleofthecarriagesnolongerirritatedhim,andtheloadathisheartgrewlighterandlighterasthoughitweremeltingaway。Hehadtwoprescriptionsinhishand:onewasforbromide,onewasformorphia……Hehadtakenalltheseremediesbefore。
Inthestreethestoodstilland,sayinggood-bytohisfriends,draggedhimselflanguidlytotheUniversity。
MISERY
"TowhomshallItellmygrief?"
THEtwilightofevening。Bigflakesofwetsnowarewhirlinglazilyaboutthestreetlamps,whichhavejustbeenlighted,andlyinginathinsoftlayeronroofs,horses’backs,shoulders,caps。IonaPotapov,thesledge-driver,isallwhitelikeaghost。Hesitsontheboxwithoutstirring,bentasdoubleasthelivingbodycanbebent。Ifaregularsnowdriftfellonhimitseemsasthougheventhenhewouldnotthinkitnecessarytoshakeitoff……Hislittlemareiswhiteandmotionlesstoo。Herstillness,theangularityofherlines,andthestick-likestraightnessofherlegsmakeherlooklikeahalfpennygingerbreadhorse。Sheisprobablylostinthought。
Anyonewhohasbeentornawayfromtheplough,fromthefamiliargraylandscapes,andcastintothisslough,fullofmonstrouslights,ofunceasinguproarandhurryingpeople,isboundtothink。
ItisalongtimesinceIonaandhisnaghavebudged。Theycameoutoftheyardbeforedinnertimeandnotasinglefareyet。Butnowtheshadesofeveningarefallingonthetown。Thepalelightofthestreetlampschangestoavividcolor,andthebustleofthestreetgrowsnoisier。
"SledgetoVyborgskaya!"Ionahears。"Sledge!"
Ionastarts,andthroughhissnow-plasteredeyelashesseesanofficerinamilitaryovercoatwithahoodoverhishead。
"ToVyborgskaya,"repeatstheofficer。"Areyouasleep?ToVyborgskaya!"
IntokenofassentIonagivesatugatthereinswhichsendscakesofsnowflyingfromthehorse’sbackandshoulders。Theofficergetsintothesledge。Thesledge-driverclickstothehorse,craneshisnecklikeaswan,risesinhisseat,andmorefromhabitthannecessitybrandisheshiswhip。Themarecranesherneck,too,crooksherstick-likelegs,andhesitatinglysetsof……
"Whereareyoushoving,youdevil?"Ionaimmediatelyhearsshoutsfromthedarkmassshiftingtoandfrobeforehim。"Wherethedevilareyougoing?Keeptother-right!"
"Youdon’tknowhowtodrive!Keeptotheright,"saystheofficerangrily。
Acoachmandrivingacarriageswearsathim;apedestriancrossingtheroadandbrushingthehorse’snosewithhisshoulderlooksathimangrilyandshakesthesnowoffhissleeve。Ionafidgetsontheboxasthoughheweresittingonthorns,jerkshiselbows,andturnshiseyesaboutlikeonepossessedasthoughhedidnotknowwherehewasorwhyhewasthere。
"Whatrascalstheyallare!"saystheofficerjocosely。"Theyaresimplydoingtheirbesttorunupagainstyouorfallunderthehorse’sfeet。Theymustbedoingitonpurpose。"
Ionalooksashisfareandmoveshislips……Apparentlyhemeanstosaysomething,butnothingcomesbutasniff。
"What?"inquirestheofficer。
Ionagivesawrysmile,andstraininghisthroat,bringsouthuskily:"Myson……er……mysondiedthisweek,sir。"
"H’m!Whatdidhedieof?"
Ionaturnshiswholebodyroundtohisfare,andsays:
"Whocantell!Itmusthavebeenfromfever……Helaythreedaysinthehospitalandthenhedied……God’swill。"
"Turnround,youdevil!"comesoutofthedarkness。"Haveyougonecracked,youolddog?Lookwhereyouaregoing!"
"Driveon!driveon!……"saystheofficer。"Weshan’tgettheretillto-morrowgoingonlikethis。Hurryup!"
Thesledge-drivercraneshisneckagain,risesinhisseat,andwithheavygraceswingshiswhip。Severaltimeshelooksroundattheofficer,butthelatterkeepshiseyesshutandisapparentlydisinclinedtolisten。PuttinghisfaredownatVyborgskaya,Ionastopsbyarestaurant,andagainsitshuddleduponthebox……Againthewetsnowpaintshimandhishorsewhite。Onehourpasses,andthenanother……
Threeyoungmen,twotallandthin,oneshortandhunchbacked,comeup,railingateachotherandloudlystampingonthepavementwiththeirgoloshes。
"Cabby,tothePoliceBridge!"thehunchbackcriesinacrackedvoice。"Thethreeofus,……twentykopecks!"
Ionatugsatthereinsandclickstohishorse。Twentykopecksisnotafairprice,buthehasnothoughtsforthat。Whetheritisaroubleorwhetheritisfivekopecksdoesnotmattertohimnowsolongashehasafare……Thethreeyoungmen,shovingeachotherandusingbadlanguage,gouptothesledge,andallthreetrytositdownatonce。Thequestionremainstobesettled:Whicharetositdownandwhichoneistostand?Afteralongaltercation,ill-temper,andabuse,theycometotheconclusionthatthehunchbackmuststandbecauseheistheshortest。
"Well,driveon,"saysthehunchbackinhiscrackedvoice,settlinghimselfandbreathingdownIona’sneck。"Cutalong!Whatacapyou’vegot,myfriend!Youwouldn’tfindaworseoneinallPetersburg……"
"He-he!……he-he!……"laughsIona。"It’snothingtoboastof!"
"Well,then,nothingtoboastof,driveon!Areyougoingtodrivelikethisalltheway?Eh?ShallIgiveyouoneintheneck?"
"Myheadaches,"saysoneofthetallones。"AttheDukmasovs’
yesterdayVaskaandIdrankfourbottlesofbrandybetweenus。"
"Ican’tmakeoutwhyyoutalksuchstuff,"saystheothertalloneangrily。"Youlielikeabrute。"
"Strikemedead,it’sthetruth!……"
"It’saboutastrueasthatalousecoughs。"
"He-he!"grinsIona。"Me-er-rygentlemen!"
"Tfoo!thedeviltakeyou!"criesthehunchbackindignantly。
"Willyougeton,youoldplague,orwon’tyou?Isthatthewaytodrive?Giveheronewiththewhip。Hangitall,giveitherwell。"
Ionafeelsbehindhisbackthejoltingpersonandquiveringvoiceofthehunchback。Hehearsabuseaddressedtohim,heseespeople,andthefeelingoflonelinessbeginslittlebylittletobelessheavyonhisheart。Thehunchbackswearsathim,tillhechokesoversomeelaboratelywhimsicalstringofepithetsandisoverpoweredbyhiscough。HistallcompanionsbegintalkingofacertainNadyezhdaPetrovna。Ionalooksroundatthem。Waitingtillthereisabriefpause,helooksroundoncemoreandsays:
"Thisweek……er……my……er……sondied!"
"Weshallalldie,……"saysthehunchbackwithasigh,wipinghislipsaftercoughing。"Come,driveon!driveon!Myfriends,I
simplycannotstandcrawlinglikethis!Whenwillhegetusthere?"
"Well,yougivehimalittleencouragement……oneintheneck!"
"Doyouhear,youoldplague?I’llmakeyousmart。Ifonestandsonceremonywithfellowslikeyouonemayaswellwalk。Doyouhear,youolddragon?Ordon’tyoucareahangwhatwesay?"
AndIonahearsratherthanfeelsaslaponthebackofhisneck。
"He-he!……"helaughs。"Merrygentlemen……Godgiveyouhealth!"
"Cabman,areyoumarried?"asksoneofthetallones。
"I?Hehe!Me-er-rygentlemen。Theonlywifeformenowisthedampearth……He-ho-ho!……Thegravethatis!……Heremyson’sdeadandIamalive……It’sastrangething,deathhascomeinatthewrongdoor……Insteadofcomingformeitwentformyson……"
AndIonaturnsroundtotellthemhowhissondied,butatthatpointthehunchbackgivesafaintsighandannouncesthat,thankGod!theyhavearrivedatlast。Aftertakinghistwentykopecks,Ionagazesforalongwhileaftertherevelers,whodisappearintoadarkentry。Againheisaloneandagainthereissilenceforhim……Themiserywhichhasbeenforabriefspaceeasedcomesbackagainandtearshisheartmorecruellythanever。WithalookofanxietyandsufferingIona’seyesstrayrestlesslyamongthecrowdsmovingtoandfroonbothsidesofthestreet:
canhenotfindamongthosethousandssomeonewhowilllistentohim?Butthecrowdsflitbyheedlessofhimandhismisery……
Hismiseryisimmense,beyondallbounds。IfIona’sheartweretoburstandhismiserytoflowout,itwouldfloodthewholeworld,itseems,butyetitisnotseen。Ithasfoundahiding-placeinsuchaninsignificantshellthatonewouldnothavefounditwithacandlebydaylight……
Ionaseesahouse-porterwithaparcelandmakesuphismindtoaddresshim。
"Whattimewillitbe,friend?"heasks。
"Goingonforten……Whyhaveyoustoppedhere?Driveon!"
Ionadrivesafewpacesaway,bendshimselfdouble,andgiveshimselfuptohismisery。Hefeelsitisnogoodtoappealtopeople。Butbeforefiveminuteshavepassedhedrawshimselfup,shakeshisheadasthoughhefeelsasharppain,andtugsatthereins……Hecanbearitnolonger。
"Backtotheyard!"hethinks。"Totheyard!"
Andhislittlemare,asthoughsheknewhisthoughts,fallstotrotting。AnhourandahalflaterIonaissittingbyabigdirtystove。Onthestove,onthefloor,andonthebenchesarepeoplesnoring。Theairisfullofsmellsandstuffiness。Ionalooksatthesleepingfigures,scratcheshimself,andregretsthathehascomehomesoearly……
"Ihavenotearnedenoughtopayfortheoats,even,"hethinks。
"That’swhyIamsomiserable。Amanwhoknowshowtodohiswork,……whohashadenoughtoeat,andwhosehorsehashadenoughtoeat,isalwaysatease……"
Inoneofthecornersayoungcabmangetsup,clearshisthroatsleepily,andmakesforthewater-bucket。
"Wantadrink?"Ionaaskshim。
"Seemsso。"
"Mayitdoyougood……Butmysonisdead,mate……Doyouhear?Thisweekinthehospital……It’saqueerbusiness……"
Ionalookstoseetheeffectproducedbyhiswords,butheseesnothing。Theyoungmanhascoveredhisheadoverandisalreadyasleep。Theoldmansighsandscratcheshimself……Justastheyoungmanhadbeenthirstyforwater,hethirstsforspeech。
Hissonwillsoonhavebeendeadaweek,andhehasnotreallytalkedtoanybodyyet……Hewantstotalkofitproperly,withdeliberation……Hewantstotellhowhissonwastakenill,howhesuffered,whathesaidbeforehedied,howhedied……Hewantstodescribethefuneral,andhowhewenttothehospitaltogethisson’sclothes。HestillhashisdaughterAnisyainthecountry……Andhewantstotalkabouthertoo……Yes,hehasplentytotalkaboutnow。Hislisteneroughttosighandexclaimandlament……Itwouldbeevenbettertotalktowomen。Thoughtheyaresillycreatures,theyblubberatthefirstword。
"Let’sgooutandhavealookatthemare,"Ionathinks。"Thereisalwaystimeforsleep……You’llhavesleepenough,nofear……"
Heputsonhiscoatandgoesintothestableswherehismareisstanding。Hethinksaboutoats,abouthay,abouttheweather……Hecannotthinkabouthissonwhenheisalone……Totalkabouthimwithsomeoneispossible,buttothinkofhimandpicturehimisinsufferableanguish……
"Areyoumunching?"Ionaaskshismare,seeinghershiningeyes。
"There,munchaway,munchaway……Sincewehavenotearnedenoughforoats,wewilleathay……Yes,……Ihavegrowntoooldtodrive……Mysonoughttobedriving,notI……
Hewasarealcabman……Heoughttohavelived……"
Ionaissilentforawhile,andthenhegoeson:
"That’showitis,oldgirl……KuzmaIonitchisgone……
Hesaidgood-bytome……Hewentanddiedfornoreason……Now,supposeyouhadalittlecolt,andyouwereownmothertothatlittlecolt……Andallatoncethatsamelittlecoltwentanddied……You’dbesorry,wouldn’tyou?……"
Thelittlemaremunches,listens,andbreathesonhermaster’shands。Ionaiscarriedawayandtellsherallaboutit。
CHAMPAGNE
AWAYFARER’SSTORY
INtheyearinwhichmystorybeginsIhadajobatalittlestationononeofoursouthwesternrailways。WhetherIhadagayoradulllifeatthestationyoucanjudgefromthefactthatforfifteenmilesroundtherewasnotonehumanhabitation,notonewoman,notonedecenttavern;andinthosedaysIwasyoung,strong,hot-headed,giddy,andfoolish。TheonlydistractionIcouldpossiblyfindwasinthewindowsofthepassengertrains,andinthevilevodkawhichtheJewsdruggedwiththorn-apple。Sometimestherewouldbeaglimpseofawoman’sheadatacarriagewindow,andonewouldstandlikeastatuewithoutbreathingandstareatituntilthetrainturnedintoanalmostinvisiblespeck;oronewoulddrinkallonecouldoftheloathsomevodkatillonewasstupefiedanddidnotfeelthepassingofthelonghoursanddays。Uponme,anativeofthenorth,thesteppeproducedtheeffectofadesertedTatarcemetery。Inthesummerthesteppewithitssolemncalm,themonotonouschurofthegrasshoppers,thetransparentmoonlightfromwhichonecouldnothide,reducedmetolistlessmelancholy;
andinthewintertheirreproachablewhitenessofthesteppe,itscolddistance,longnights,andhowlingwolvesoppressedmelikeaheavynightmare。Therewereseveralpeoplelivingatthestation:mywifeandI,adeafandscrofuloustelegraphclerk,andthreewatchmen。Myassistant,ayoungmanwhowasinconsumption,usedtogofortreatmenttothetown,wherehestayedformonthsatatime,leavinghisdutiestometogetherwiththerightofpocketinghissalary。Ihadnochildren,nocakewouldhavetemptedvisitorstocomeandseeme,andIcouldonlyvisitotherofficialsontheline,andthatnooftenerthanonceamonth。