首页 >出版文学> Miss Billy>第4章

第4章

  "AndnowI’mreadytoseemyfriends,"sheannounced.
  "AndIthinkyourfriendswillbereadytoseeyou,"Bertramassuredher.
  Andtheywere——atleast,soitappeared.ForatoncethelittlehouseperchedonthehillsidebecametheMeccaformanyoftheHenshaws’friendswhohadknownBillyasWilliam’smerry,eighteen—
  year—oldnamesake.Therewereothers,too,whomBillyhadmetabroad;andthereweresoft—stepping,sweet—facedoldwomenandanoccasionalwhite—whiskeredoldman——AuntHannah’sfriends——whofoundthattheyoungmistressofHillsidewasacharminghostess.
  TherewerealsotheHenshaw"boys,"andtherewasalwaysCalderwell——atleast,soBertramdeclaredtohimselfsometimes.
  Bertramcamefrequentlytothelittlehouseonthehill,evenmorefrequentlythanWilliam;butCyrilwasnotseentheresooften.Hecameonceatfirst,itistrue,andfollowedBillyfromroomtoroomassheproudlydisplayedhernewhome.Heshowedpoliteinterestinherview,andaperfunctoryenjoymentoftheteashepreparedforhim.Buthedidnotcomeagainforsometime,andwhenhedidcome,hesatstifflysilent,whilehisbrothersdidmostofthetalking.
  AstoCalderwell——Calderwellseemedsuddenlytohavelosthisinterestinimpenetrableforestsandunclimbablemountains.
  NothingmoreintricatethanthelongBeaconStreetboulevard,ormoreinaccessiblethanCoreyHillseemedworthexploring,apparently.AccordingtoCalderwell’sownversionofit,hehad"settleddown";hewasgoingto"besomethingthatwassomething."
  AndhedidspendsundryofhismorninghoursinaBostonlawofficewithponderous,calf—boundvolumesspreadinimposingarrayonthedeskbeforehim.Otherhours——manyhours——hespentwithBilly.
  Oneday,verysoon,infact,aftershearrivedinBoston,BillyaskedCalderwellabouttheHenshaws.
  "Tellmeaboutthem,"shesaid."Tellmewhattheyhavebeendoingalltheseyears."
  "Tellyouaboutthem!Why,don’tyouknow?"
  Sheshookherhead.
  "No.Cyrilsaysnothing.Williamlittlemore——aboutthemselves;
  andyouknowwhatBertramis.Onecanhardlyseparatesensefromnonsensewithhim."
  "Youdon’tknow,then,howsplendidlyBertramhasdonewithhisart?"
  "No;onlyfromthemostcasualhearsay.Hashedonewellthen?"
  "Finely!Thepublichasbeenhisforyears,andnowthecriticsaretumblingovereachothertodohimhonor.Theyraveabouthis’sensitive,brilliant,nervoustouch,’——whateverthatmaybe;his’marvelouscolorsense’;his’beautyoflineandpose.’Andtheyquarreloverwhetherit’srealismoridealismthatconstituteshischarm."
  "I’msoglad!Andisitstillthe’FaceofaGirl’?"
  "Yes;onlyhe’sdoingstraightportraiturenowaswell.It’sgottobequitethethingtobe’done’byHenshaw;andthere’smanyafairladythathasgraciouslycommissionedhimtopaintherportrait.He’safinefellow,too——amightyfinefellow.Youmaynotknow,perhaps,butthreeorfouryearsagohewas——well,notwild,but’frolicsome,’hewouldprobablyhavecalledit.Hegotinwithalotoffellowsthat——well,thatweren’tgoodforachapofBertram’stemperament."
  "Like——Mr.Seaver?"
  Calderwellturnedsharply.
  "DidYOUknowSeaver?"hedemandedinobvioussurprise.
  "IusedtoSEEhim——withBertram."
  "Oh!Well,heWASoneofthem,unfortunately.ButBertramshippedhimyearsago."
  Billygaveasuddenradiantsmile——butshechangedthesubjectatonce.
  "AndMr.Williamstillcollects,Isuppose,"sheobserved.
  "Jove!Ishouldsayhedid!I’veforgottenthelatest;buthe’safinefellow,too,likeBertram."
  "And——Mr.Cyril?"
  Calderwellfrowned.
  "Thatchap’saposerforme,Billy,andnomistake.Ican’tmakehimout!"
  "What’sthematter?"
  "Idon’tknow.ProbablyI’mnot’tunedtohispitch.’BertramtoldmeoncethatCyrilwasverysensitivelystrung,andneverrespondeduntilacertainnotewasstruck.Well,Ihaven’teverfoundthatnote,Ireckon."
  Billylaughed.
  "IneverheardBertramsaythat,butIthinkIknowwhathemeans;
  andhe’sright,too.IbegintorealizenowwhatajanglingdiscordImusthavecreatedwhenItriedtoharmonizewithhimthreeyearsago!Butwhatishedoinginhismusic?"
  Theothershruggedhisshoulders.
  "Samething.Playsoccasionally,andplayswell,too;buthe’ssoerraticit’sdifficulttogethimtodoit.Everythingmustbejustso,youknow——air,light,piano,andaudience.He’sgotanotherbookout,I’mtold——aprofoundtreatiseonsomebody’ssomethingorother——musical,ofcourse."
  "Andheusedtowritemusic;doesn’thedothatanymore?"
  "Ibelieveso.Ihearofitoccasionallythroughmusicalfriendsofmine.Theyevenplayittomesometimes.ButIcan’tstandformuchofit——hisstuff——really,Billy."
  "’Stuff’indeed!Andwhynot?"AnoddhostilityshowedinBilly’seyes.
  AgainCalderwellshruggedhisshoulders.
  "Don’taskme.Idon’tknow.Butthey’realwaysdeadslow,somberthings,withthewailofalostspiritshriekingthroughthem."
  "ButIjustlovelostspiritsthatwail,"avowedBilly,withmorethanashadeofreproachinhervoice.
  Calderwellstared;thenheshookhishead.
  "Notinmine,thankyou;"heretortedwhimsically."Iprefermyspiritsofamoresaneandcheerfulsort."
  Thegirllaughed,butalmostinstantlyshefellsilent.
  "I’vebeenwondering,"shebeganmusingly,afteratime,"whysomeoneofthosethreemendoesnot——marry."
  "Youwouldn’twonder——ifyouknewthembetter,"declaredCalderwell.
  "Nowthink.Let’sbeginatthetopoftheStrata——bytheway,Bertram’snameforthatestablishmentismightyclever!First,Cyril:accordingtoBertramCyrilhates’allkindsofwomenandotherconfusion’;andIfancyBertramhitsitaboutright.SothatsettlesCyril.Thenthere’sWilliam——youknowWilliam.AnygirlwouldsayWilliamwasadear;butWilliamisn’taMARRYINGman.Dadsays,"——Calderwell’svoicesoftenedalittle——"dadsaysthatWilliamandhisyoungwifewerethemostdevotedcouplethatheeversaw;
  andthatwhenshediedsheseemedtotakewithherthewholeofWilliam’sheart——thatis,whathadn’tgonewiththebabyafewyearsbefore.Therewasaboy,youknow,thatdied."
  "Yes,Iknow,"noddedBilly,quicktearsinhereyes."AuntHannahtoldme."
  "Well,thatcountsoutWilliam,then,"saidCalderwell,withanairoffinality.
  "ButhowaboutBertram?Youhaven’tsettledBertram,"laughedBilly,archly.
  "Bertram!"Calderwell’seyeswidened."Billy,canyouimagineBertram’smakingloveinrealearnesttoagirl?"
  "Why,I——don’t——know;maybe!"Billytippedherheadfromsidetosideasifshewereviewingapicturesetupforherinspection.
  "Well,Ican’t.Inthefirstplace,nogirlwouldthinkhewasserious;orifbyanychanceshedid,she’dsoondiscoverthatitwastheturnofherheadorthetiltofherchinthatheadmired——
  TOPAINT.Nowisn’tthatso?"
  Billylaughed,butshedidnotanswer.
  "Itis,andyouknowit,"declaredCalderwell."Andthatsettleshim.Nowyoucansee,perhaps,whynoneofthesemen——willmarry."
  ItwasalongminutebeforeBillyspoke.
  "Notabitofit.Idon’tseeitatall,"shedeclaredwithroguishmerriment."Moreover,Ithinkthatsomeday,someoneofthem——willmarry,SirDoubtful!"
  Calderwellthrewaquickglanceintohereyes.Evidentlysomethinghesawtheresentaswiftshadowtohisown.Hewaitedamoment,thenaskedabruptly:
  "Billy,WON’Tyoumarryme?"
  Billyfrowned,thoughhereyesstilllaughed.
  "Hugh,Itoldyounottoaskmethatagain,"shedemurred.
  "AndItoldyounottoaskimpossibilitiesofme,"heretortedimperturbably."Billy,won’tyou,now——seriously?"
  "Seriously,no,Hugh.Pleasedon’tletusgoalloverthatagainwhenwe’vedoneitsomanytimes."
  "No,let’sdon’t,"agreedtheman,cheerfully."Andwedon’thaveto,either,ifyou’llonlysay’yes,’nowrightaway,withoutanymorefuss."
  Billysighedimpatiently.
  "Hugh,won’tyouunderstandthatI’mserious?"shecried;thensheturnedsuddenly,withapeculiarflashinhereyes.
  "Hugh,Idon’tbelieveBertramhimselfcouldmakeloveanymorenonsensicallythanyoucan!"
  Calderwelllaughed,buthefrowned,too;andagainhethrewintoBilly’sfacethatkeenlyquestioningglance.Hesaidsomething——alightsomething——thatbroughtthelaughtoBilly’slipsinspiteofherself;buthewasstillfrowningwhenheleftthehousesomeminuteslater,andtheshadowwasnotgonefromhiseyes.
  CHAPTERXXIII
  BERTRAMDOESSOMEQUESTIONING
  Billy’stimewaswelloccupied.Thereweresomany,manythingsshewishedtodo,andsofew,fewhoursinwhichtodothem.Firsttherewashermusic.ShemadearrangementsatoncetostudywithoneofBoston’sbestpianoteachers,andshealsomadeplanstocontinueherFrenchandGerman.Shejoinedamusicalclub,aliteraryclub,andamorestrictlysocialclub;andtonumerouschurchcharitiesandphilanthropicenterprisesshelentmorethanhername,givingfreelyofbothtimeandmoney.
  Fridayafternoons,ofcourse,weretobeheldsacredtotheSymphonyconcerts;andoncertainWednesdaymorningstherewastobeaseriesofrecitals,inwhichshewasgreatlyinterested.
  ForSocietywithacapitalS,Billycaredlittle;butforsociabilitywithasmalls,shecaredmuch;andverywidesheopenedherdoorstoherfriends,lavishinguponthemawealthofhospitality.Nordidtheyallcomeincarriagesorautomobiles——
  thesefriends.Acertainpale—facedlittlewidowoverattheSouthEndknewjusthowgoodMissNeilson’steatastedonacrispOctoberafternoonandMarieHawthorn,afrailyoungwomanwhogavemusiclessons,knewjusthowrestfulwasMissNeilson’scouchafterawearydayoflongwalksandfretfulpupils.
  "Buthowintheworlddoyoudiscoverthemall——theseforlornspecimensofhumanity?"queriedBertramoneevening,whenhehadfoundBillyentertainingafreckled—facedmessenger—boywithaplateoficecreamandabigsquareofcake.
  "Anywhere——everywhere,"smiledBilly.
  "Well,thislastcandidateforyourfavor,whohasjustgone——who’she?"
  "Idon’tknow,beyondthathisnameis’Tom,’andthathelikesicecream."
  "Andyouneversawhimbefore?"
  "Never."
  "Humph!Onewouldn’tthinkit,toseehischarmingairofnonchalantaccustomedness."
  "Oh,butitdoesn’ttakemuchtomakealittlefellowlikethatfeelathome,"laughedBilly.
  "Andareyouinthehabitoffeedingeveryonewhocomestoyourhouse,onicecreamandchocolatecake?Ithoughtthatstonedoorstepofyourswaslookingalittleworn."
  "Notabitofit,"retortedBilly."ThislittlechapcamewithamessagejustasIwasfinishingdinner.Theicecreamwasparticularlygoodto—night,anditoccurredtomethathemightlikeataste;soIgaveittohim."
  Bertramraisedhiseyebrowsquizzically.
  "Verykind,ofcourse;but——whyicecream?"hequestioned."I
  thoughtitwasroastbeefandboiledpotatoesthatwassupposedtobehandedouttogaunt—eyedhunger."
  "Itis,"noddedBilly,"andthat’swhyIthinksometimesthey’dlikeicecreamandchocolatefrosting.Besides,togivesugarplumsonedoesn’thavetounwindyardsofredtape,orworryabout’pauperizingthepoor.’Togiveredflannelsandatonofcoal,onemustbeproperlycircumspectandconsultrecordsandcitymissionaries,ofcourse;andthat’swhyit’ssuchareliefsometimesjusttohandoverasimplelittlesugarplumandseethemsmile."
  ForaminuteBertramwassilent,thenheaskedabruptly:
  "Billy,whydidyouleavetheStrata?"
  Billywastakenquitebysurprise.Apinkflushspreadtoherforehead,andhertonguestumbledatfirstoverherreply.
  "Why,I——itseemed——you——why,IlefttogotoHampdenFalls,tobesure.Don’tyouremember?"shefinishedgaily.
  "Oh,yes,IrememberTHAT,"concededBertramwithdisdainfulemphasis."ButwhydidyougotoHampdenFalls?"
  "Why,it——itwastheonlyplacetogo——thatis,IWANTEDtogothere,"shecorrectedhastily."Didn’tAuntHannahtellyouthatI——Iwashomesicktogetbackthere?"
  "Oh,yes,AuntHannahSAIDthat,"observedtheman;"butwasn’tthathomesicknessalittle——sudden?"
  Billyblushedpinkagain.
  "Why,maybe;but——well,homesicknessisalwaysmoreorlesssudden;
  isn’tit?"sheparried.
  Bertramlaughed,buthiseyesgrewsuddenlyalmosttender.
  "Seehere,Billy,youcan’tbluffworthacent,"hedeclared."Youaremuchtoorefreshinglyfrankforthat.Somethingwasthetrouble.Nowwhatwasit?Won’tyoutellme,please?"
  Billypouted.Shehesitatedandgazedanywherebutintothechallengingeyesbeforeher.Thenverysuddenlyshelookedstraightintothem.
  "Verywell,thereWASareasonformyleaving,"sheconfessedalittlebreathlessly."I——didn’twantto——botheryouanymore——allofyou."
  "Botherus!"
  "No.Ifoundout.Youcouldn’tpaint;Mr.Cyrilcouldn’tplayorwrite;and——andeverythingwasdifferentbecauseIwasthere.ButIdidn’tblameyou——no,no!"sheassuredhimhastily."ItwasonlythatI——foundout."
  "AndmayIaskHOWyouobtainedthismostextraordinaryinformation?"
  demandedBertram,savagely.
  Billyshookherhead.Herroundlittlechinlookedsuddenlysquareanddetermined.
  "Youmayask,butIshallnottell,"shedeclaredfirmly.
  IfBertramhadknownBillyjustalittlebetterhewouldhaveletthematterdropthere;buthedidnotknowBilly,soheasked:
  "WasitanythingIdid——orsaid?"
  Thegirldidnotanswer.
  "Billy,wasit?"Bertram’svoiceshowedterrornow.
  Billylaughedunexpectedly.
  "DoyouthinkI’mgoingtosay’no’toaseriesofquestions,andthengivethewholethingawaybymysilencewhenyoucometotherightone?"shedemandedmerrily."No,sir!"
  "Well,anyhow,itwasn’tI,then,"sighedthemaninrelief;"foryoujustobservedthatyouwerenotgoingtosay’notoaseriesofquestions’——andthatwasthefirstone.SoI’vefoundoutthatmuch,anyhow,"heconcludedtriumphantly.
  Thegirleyedhimforamomentinsilence;thensheshookherhead.
  "I’mnotgoingtobecaughtthatway,either,"shesmiled."Youknow——justwhatyoudidinthefirstplaceaboutit:nothing."
  Themanstirredrestlesslyandpondered.Afteralongpauseheadoptednewtactics.Withasearchingstudyofherfacetonotetheslightestchange,heenumerated:
  "WasitCyril,then?Will?AuntHannah?Kate?Itcouldn’thavebeenPete,orDongLing!"
  Billystillsmiledinscrutably.AtnonamehadBertramdetectedsomuchastheflickerofaneyelid;andwithaglancehalf—admiring,half—chagrined,hefellbackintohischair.
  "I’llgiveitup.You’vewon,"heacknowledged."But,Billy,"——
  hismannerchangedsuddenly——"IwonderifyouknowjustwhataholeyouleftintheStratawhenyouwentaway."
  "ButIcouldn’thave——inthewholeStrata,"objectedBilly."I
  occupiedonlyonestratum,andastratumdoesn’tgoupanddown,youknow,onlyacross;andminewasthesecondfloor."
  Bertramgaveaslowshakeofhishead.
  "Iknow;butyourswasafreakformation,"hemaintainedgravely.
  "ItDIDgoupanddown.Honestly,Billy,wedidcare——lots.WillandIwereinconsolable,andevenCyrilplayeddirgesforaweek."
  "Didhe?"gurgledBilly,withsuddenjoyousness."I’msoglad!"
  "Thankyou,"murmuredBertram,disapprovingly."Wehadn’tconsidereditasubjectforexultation."
  "What?Oh,Ididn’tmeanthat!Thatis——"shestoppedhelplessly.
  "Oh,nevermindabouttryingtoexplain,"interposedBertram."I
  fancytheremedywouldbeworsethanthedisease,inthiscase."
  "Nonsense!IonlymeantthatIliketobemissed——sometimes,"
  retortedBilly,alittlenettled.
  "Andyourejoicethentohavememope,Cyrilplaydirges,andWillwandermournfullyaboutthehousewithSpunkieinhisarms!YoushouldhaveseenWilliam.Ifhisforlornnessdidnotbringtearstoyoureyes,thegraceofthepinkbowthatloppedbehindSpunkie’sleftearwouldsurelyhavebroughtacopiousflow."
  Billylaughed,buthereyesgrewtender.
  "DidUncleWilliamdo——that?"sheasked.
  "Hedid——andhedidmore.Petetoldmeafteratimethatyouhadnotleftonethinginthehouse,anywhere;butoneday,overbehindWilliam’smosttreasuredLowestoft,Ifoundasmallshellhairpin,andaflatbrownsilkbuttonthatIrecognizedascomingfromoneofyourdresses."
  "Oh!"saidBilly,softly."DearUncleWilliam——andhowgoodhewastome!"
  CHAPTERXXIV
  CYRIL,THEENIGMA
  PerhapsitwasbecauseBillysawsolittleofCyrilthatitwasCyrilwhomshewishedparticularlytosee.William,Bertram,Calderwell——allherotherfriendscamefrequentlytothelittlehouseonthehill,Billytoldherself;onlyCyrilheldaloof——anditwasCyrilthatshewanted.
  Billysaidthatitwashismusic;thatshewantedtohearhimplay,andthatshewantedhimtohearher.Shefeltgrievedandchagrined.Notoncesinceshehadcomehadheseemedinterested——
  reallyinterestedinhermusic.Hehadaskedher,itistrue,inaperfunctorywaywhatshehaddone,andwhoherteachershadbeen.
  Butallthewhileshewasansweringshehadfeltthathewasnotlistening;thathedidnotcare.Andshecaredsomuch!Sheknewnowthatallherpractisingthroughthelonghardmonthsofstudy,hadbeenforCyril.Everyscalehadbeensmoothedforhisears,andeveryphrasehadbeeninterpretedwithhisapprobationinview.
  Acrossthewidewasteofwatershisfacehadshonelikeastarofpromise,beckoningheronandontoheightsunknownAndnowshewashereinBoston,butshecouldnotevenplaythescale,norinterpretthephrasefortheeartowhichtheyhadbeensolaboriouslyattuned;andCyril’sface,intheflesh,wasnobeckoningstarofpromise,butwasathingascoldandrelentlessaswasthewasteofwatersacrosswhichithadshoneinthepast.
  Billydidnotunderstandit.Sheknew,itistrue,ofCyril’sreputedaversiontowomeningeneralandtonoise;butshewasneitherwomeningeneralnornoise,shetoldherselfindignantly.
  Shewasonlythelittlemaid,grownthreeyearsolder,whohadsatathisfeetandadoringlylistenedtoallthathehadbeenpleasedtosayintheolddaysatthetopoftheStrata.Andhehadbeenkindthen——verykind,Billydeclaredstoutly.Hehadbeenpatientandinterested,too,andhehadseemednotonlywilling,butgladtoteachher,whilenow——
  SometimesBillythoughtshewouldaskhimcandidlywhatwasthematter.Butitwasalwaystheold,frankBillythatthoughtthis;
  theimpulsiveBilly,thathadgoneuptoCyril’sroomsyearsbeforeandcheerfullyannouncedthatshehadcometogetacquainted.Itwasneverthesensible,circumspectBillythatAuntHannahhadforthreeyearsbeenshapingandcoaxingintobeing.ButeventhisBillyfrownedrebelliously,anddeclaredthatsometimesomethingshouldbesaidthatwouldatleastgivehimachancetoexplain.
  InalltheweekssinceBilly’spurchaseofHillside,Cyrilhadbeenthereonlytwice,anditwasnearlyThanksgivingnow.Billyhadseenhimonceortwice,also,attheBeaconStreethouse,whensheandAuntHannahhaddinedthere;butonalltheseoccasionshehadbeeneitherthecoldlyreservedguestorthepainfullypunctilioushost.Neverhadhebeenintheleastapproachable.
  "HetreatsmeexactlyashetreatedpoorlittleSpunkthatfirstnight,"Billydeclaredhotlytoherself.
  OnlyoncesinceshecamehadBillyheardCyrilplay,andthatwaswhenshehadsharedtheprivilegewithhundredsofothersatapublicconcert.Shehadsatthenentranced,withhereyesontheclean—cuthandsomeprofileofthemanwhoplayedwithsosureaskillandpower,yetwithoutanotebeforehim.Afterwardshehadmethimfacetoface,andhadtriedtotellhimhowmovedshewas;
  butinheragitation,andbecauseofastrangeshynessthathadsuddenlycometoher,shehadendedonlyinstammeringoutsomeflippantbanalitythathadbroughttohisfacemerelyaboredsmileofacknowledgment.
  Twiceshehadaskedhimtoplayforher;buteachtimehehadbeggedtobeexcused,courteously,butdecidedly.
  "It’snousetotease,"Bertramhadinterposedonce,withanairywaveofhishands."Thislionalwaysdidrefusetoroartoorder.
  Ifyoureallymusthearhim,you’llhavetoslipup—stairsandcampoutsidehisdoor,waitingpatientlyforsuchcrumbsasmayfallfromhistable."
  "Aren’tyourmetaphorsalittlemixed?"questionedCyrilirritably.
  "Yes,sir,"acknowledgedBertramwithunruffledtemper."butI
  don’tmindifBillydoesn’t.Ionlymeanthertounderstandthatshe’dhavetodoassheusedtodo——listenoutsideyourdoor."
  Billy’scheeksreddened.
  "ButthatiswhatIsha’n’tdo,"sheretortedwithspirit."And,moreover,Istillhavehopesthatsomedayhe’llplaytome."
  "Maybe,"concededBertram,doubtfully;"ifthestoolandthepianoandthepedalsandtheweatherandhisfingersandyourearsandmywatcharealljustright——thenhe’llplay."
  "Nonsense!"scowledCyril."I’llplay,ofcourse,someday.ButI’drathernottoday."Andtherethematterhadended.SincethenBillyhadnotaskedhimtoplay.
  CHAPTERXXV
  THEOLDROOM——ANDBILLY
  ThanksgivingwastobeagreatdayintheHenshawfamily.TheHenshawbrothersweretoentertain.BillyandAuntHannahhadbeeninvitedtodinner;andsojoyouslyhospitablewasWilliam’sinvitationthatitwouldhaveincludedthenewkittenandthecanaryifBillywouldhaveconsentedtobringthem.
  OncemorePetesweptandgarnishedthehouse,andoncemoreDongLingspoileduncountedsquaresofchocolatetryingtomakethebafflingfudge.BertramsaidthattheentireStratawasa—quiver.
  NotbutthatBillyandAuntHannahhadvisitedtherebefore,butthatthiswasdifferent.Theyweretocomeatnoonthistime.
  Thisvisitwasnottobeatantalizinglittlepieceofstiffnessanhourandahalflong.Itwastobeasatisfying,whole—souledmatterofhalfaday’scomradeship,almostlikeoldtimes.Sooncemoretherosesgracedtherooms,andaflaringpinkbowadornedSpunkie’sfatneck;andoncemoreBertramplacedhislatest"FaceofaGirl"inthebestpossiblelight.Therewasstilladifference,however,forthistimeCyrildidnotbringanymusicdowntothepiano,nordisplayanywhereacopyofhisnewestbook.
  Thedinnerwastobeatthreeo’clock,butbyspecialinvitationtheguestsweretoarriveattwelve;andpromptlyattheappointedhourtheycame.
  "There,thisissomethinglike,"exultedBertram,whentheladies,divestedoftheirwraps,toastedtheirfeetbeforetheopenfireinhisden.
  "Indeeditis,fornowI’vetimetoseeeverything——everythingyou’vedonesinceI’vebeengone,"criedBilly,gazingeagerlyabouther.
  "Hm—m;well,THATwasn’twhatImeant,"shruggedBertram.
  "Ofcoursenot;butit’swhatImeant,"retortedBilly."Andthereareotherthings,too.Iexpecttherearehalfadozennew’OldBlues’andblackbasaltsthatIwanttosee;eh,UncleWilliam?"
  shefinished,smilingintotheeyesofthemanwhohadbeengazingatherwithdotingprideforthelastfiveminutes.
  "Ho!Willisn’tonteapotsnow,"quothBertram,beforehisbrotherhadachancetoreply."Youmightdangletheoldest’OldBlue’
  thateverwasbeforehimnow,andhe’dpayscantattentionifhehappenedatthesametimetogethiseyesonsomeoldpewterchainwithagreenstoneinit."
  Billylaughed;butatthelookofgenuinedistressthatcameintoWilliam’sface,shesoberedatonce.
  "Don’tyoulethimteaseyou,UncleWilliam,"shesaidquickly.
  "I’msurepewterchainswithgreenstonesinthemsoundjustawfullyinteresting,andIwanttoseethemrightawaynow.Come,"
  shefinished,springingtoherfeet,"takemeup—stairs,please,andshowthemtome."
  Williamshookhisheadandsaid,"No,no!"protestingthatwhathehadwerescarcelyworthherattention;butevenwhilehetalkedherosetohisfeetandadvancedhalfeagerly,halfreluctantly,towardthedoor.
  "Nonsense,"saidBilly,fondly,asshelaidherhandonhisarm.
  "Iknowtheyareverymuchworthseeing.Come!"Andsheledthewayfromtheroom."Oh,oh!"sheexclaimedafewmomentslater,asshestoodbeforeasmallcabinetinoneofWilliam’srooms."Oh,oh,howpretty!"
  "Doyoulikethem?Ithoughtyouwould,"triumphedWilliam,quickjoydrivingawaytheanxiousfearinhiseyes."Yousee,I——I
  thoughtofyouwhenIgotthem——everyoneofthem.Ithoughtyou’dlikethem.ButIhaven’tverymany,yet,ofcourse.Thisisthelatestone."Andhetenderlyliftedfromitsblackvelvetmatacurioussilvernecklacemadeofsmall,flat,chain—linkeddisks,heavilychased,andsetatregularintervalswithastrange,blue—
  greenstone.
  Billyhungaboveitenraptured.
  "Oh,whatabeauty!Andthis,Isuppose,isBertram’s’pewterchain’!’Pewter,’indeed!"shescoffed."Tellme,UncleWilliam,wheredidyougetit?"
  AnduncleWilliamtold,happily,thirstily,drinkinginBilly’sevidentinterestwithdelight.Therewere,too,aquaintly—setringandacat’s—eyebrooch;andtoeachbelongedastorywhichWilliamwasequallygladtotell.Therewereothertreasures,also:buckles,rings,brooches,andnecklaces,someofdullgold,someofequallydullsilver;butallofodddesignandcuriousworkmanship,studdedhereandtherewithbitsofred,green,yellow,blue,andflame—coloredstones.VerylearnedlythenfromWilliam’slipsfellthenewvocabularythathadcometohimwithhislatesttreasures:chrysoprase,carnelian,girasol,onyx,plasma,sardonyx,lapislazuli,tourmaline,chrysolite,hyacinth,andcarbuncle.
  "Theyarelovely,perfectlylovely!"breathedBilly,whenthelastchainhadslippedthroughherfingersintoWilliam’shand."I
  thinktheyaretheverynicestthingsyouevercollected."
  "SodoI,"agreedtheman,emphatically."Andtheyare——different,too."
  "Theyare,"saidBilly,"very——different."Butshewasnotlookingatthejewelry:hereyeswereonasmallshellhairpinandabrownsilkbuttonhalfhiddenbehindaLowestoftteapot.
  Onthewaydown—stairsWilliamstoppedamomentatBilly’soldrooms.
  "Iwishyouwereherenow,"hesaidwistfully."They’reallreadyforyou——theserooms."
  "Oh,butwhydon’tyouusethem?——suchprettyrooms!"criedBilly,quickly.
  Williamgaveagestureofdissent.
  "Wehavenouseforthem;besides,theybelongtoyouandAuntHannah.Youleftyourimprintlongago,mydear——weshouldnotfeelathomeinthem."
  "Oh,butyoushould!Youmustn’tfeellikethat!"objectedBilly,hurriedlycrossingtheroomtothewindowtohideasuddennervousnessthathadassailedher."Andhere’smypiano,too,andopen!"shefinishedgaily,droppingherselfuponthepianostoolanddashingintoabrilliantmazourka.
  Billy,likeCyril,hadawayofworkingoffhermoodsatherfingertips;andto—daythetrippingnotesandcrashingchordstoldofanervousexcitementthatwasnotalljoy.FromthedoorwayWilliamwatchedherflyingfingerswithfondpride,anditwasveryreluctantlythatheaccededtoPete’srequesttogodown—stairsforamomenttosettleavexedquestionconcerningthetabledecorations.
  Billy,leftalone,stillplayed,butwithadifference.Thetrippingnotesslowedintoaweirdmelodythatroseandfellandlostitselfintheexquisiteharmonythathadbeenbornofthecrashingchords.Billywasimprovisingnow,andintohermusichadcreptsomethingofherold—timelongingwhenshehadcometothathousealonely,orphangirl,insearchofahome.Onandonsheplayed;thenwithadiscordantnote,shesuddenlyrosefromthepiano.ShewasthinkingofKate,andwonderingif,hadKatenot"managed"thelittleroomwouldstillbehome.
  SoswiftlydidBillycrosstothedoorthatthemanonthestairsoutsidehadnottimetogetquiteoutofsight.Billydidnotseehisface,however;shesawonlyapairofgray—trouseredlegsdisappearingaroundthecurveofthelandingabove.Shethoughtnothingofituntillaterwhendinnerwasannounced,andCyrilcamedown—stairs;thenshesawthathe,andheonly,thatafternoonworetrousersofthatparticularshadeofgray.
  Thedinnerwasagreatsuccess.Eventhechocolatefudgeinthelittlecutglassbonbondisheswasperfect;anditwasaquestionwhetherPeteorDongLingtriedthehardertoplease.
  Afterdinnerthefamilygatheredinthedrawing—roomandchattedpleasantly.Bertramdisplayedhisprettiestandnewestpictures,andBillyplayedandsung——bright,tunefullittlethingsthatsheknewAuntHannahandUncleWilliamliked.IfCyrilwaspleasedordispleased,hedidnotshowit——butBillyhadceasedtoplayforCyril’sears.Shetoldherselfthatshedidnotcare;butshedidwonder:wasthatCyrilonthestairs,andifso——whatwashedoingthere?
  CHAPTERXXVI
  "MUSICHATHCHARMS"
  TwodaysafterThanksgivingCyrilcalledatHillside.
  "I’vecometohearyouplay,"heannouncedabruptly.
  Billy’sheartsungwithinher——buthertemperrose.Didhethinkthenthathehadbuttobeckonandshewouldcome——andatthislateday,sheaskedherself.Aloudshesaid:
  "Play?Butthisis’sosudden’!Besides,youhaveheardme."
  Themanmadeadisdainfulgesture.
  "Notthat.Imeanplay——reallyplay.Billy,whyhaven’tyouplayedtomebefore?"
  Billy’schinroseperceptibly.
  "Whyhaven’tyouaskedme?"sheparried.
  ToBilly’ssurprisethemanansweredthiswithcalmdirectness.
  "BecauseCalderwellsaidthatyouwereadandyplayer,andIdon’tcarefordandyplayers."
  Billylaughednow.
  "AndhowdoyouknowI’mnotadandyplayer,SirImpertinent?"shedemanded.
  "BecauseI’veheardyou——whenyouweren’t."
  "Thankyou,"murmuredBilly.
  Cyrilshruggedhisshoulders.
  "Oh,youknowverywellwhatImean,"hedefended."I’veheardyou;that’sall."
  "When?"
  "Thatdoesn’tsignify."
  Billywassilentforamoment,hereyesgravelystudyinghisface.
  Thensheasked:
  "Wereyoulong——onthatstairway?"
  "Eh?What?Oh!"Cyril’sforeheadgrewsuddenlypink."Well?"hefinishedalittleaggressively.
  "Oh,nothing,"smiledthegirl."Ofcoursepeoplewholiveinglasshousesmustnotthrowstones."
  "Verywellthen,Ididlisten,"acknowledgedtheman,testily."I
  likedwhatyouwereplaying.Ihoped,down—stairslater,thatyou’dplayitagain;butyoudidn’t.Icameto—daytohearit."
  AgainBilly’sheartsungwithinher——butagainhertemperrose,too.
  "Idon’tthinkIfeellikeit,"shesaidsweetly,withashakeofherhead."Notto—day."
  ForabriefmomentCyrilstaredfrowningly;thenhisfacelightedwithhisraresmile.
  "I’mfairlycheckmated,"hesaid,risingtohisfeetandgoingstraighttothepiano.
  Forlongminutesheplayed,modulatingfromoneenchantingcompositiontoanother,andfinishingwiththeone"allchordswithbigbassnotes"thatmarchedonandon——theoneBillyhadsatlongagoonthestairstohear.
  "There!Nowwillyouplayforme?"heasked,risingtohisfeet,andturningreproachfuleyesuponher.
  Billy,too,rosetoherfeet.Herfacewasflushedandhereyeswereshining.Herlipsquiveredwithemotion.Aswasalwaysthecase,Cyril’smusichadcarriedherquiteoutofherself.
  "Oh,thankyou,thankyou,"shesighed."Youdon’tknow——youcan’tknowhowbeautifulitallis——tome!"
  "Thankyou.Thensurelynowyou’llplaytome,"hereturned.
  AlookofrealdistresscametoBilly’sface.
  "ButIcan’t——notwhatyouheardtheotherday,"shecriedremorsefully."Yousee,Iwas——onlyimprovising."
  Cyrilturnedquickly.
  "Onlyimprovising!Billy,didyoueverwriteitdown——anyofyourimprovising?"
  AnembarrassedredflewtoBilly’sface.
  "Not——notthatamountedto——well,thatis,some——alittle,"shestammered.
  "Letmeseeit."
  "No,no,Icouldn’t——notYOU!"
  AgaintheraresmilelightedCyril’seyes.
  "Billy,letmeseethatpaper——please."
  Veryslowlythegirlturnedtowardthemusiccabinet.Shehesitated,glancedoncemoreappealinglyintoCyril’sface,thenwithnervoushasteopenedthelittlemahoganydoorandtookfromoneoftheshelvesasheetofmanuscriptmusic.But,likeashychildwithherfirstcopybook,sheheldithalfbehindherbackasshecametowardthepiano.
  "Thankyou,"saidCyrilashereachedfaroutforthemusic.Thenextmomentheseatedhimselfagainatthepiano.
  Twiceheplayedthelittlesongthroughcarefully,slowly.
  "Now,singit,"hedirected.
  Falteringly,inaveryfaintvoice,andwithverymanybreathstakenwheretheyshouldnothavebeentaken,Billyobeyed.
  "Whenwewanttoshowoffyoursong,Billy,wewon’taskyoutosingit,"observedtheman,dryly,whenshehadfinished.
  Billylaughedanddimpledintoablush.
  "WhenIwanttoshowoffmysongIsha’n’tbesingingittoyouforthefirsttime,"shepouted.
  Cyrildidnotanswer.Hewasplayingoverandovercertainharmoniesinthemusicbeforehim.
  "Hm—m;Iseeyou’vestudiedyourcounterpointtosomepurpose,"hevouchsafed,finally;then:"Wheredidyougetthewords?"
  Thegirlhesitated.Theflushhaddeepenedonherface.
  "Well,I——"shestoppedandgaveanembarrassedlaugh."I’mlikethesmallboywhomadethetoys.’Igotthemalloutofmyownhead,andthere’swoodenoughtomakeanother.’"
  "Hm—m;indeed!"gruntedtheman."Well,haveyoumadeanyothers?"
  "One——ortwo,maybe."
  "Letmeseethem,please."
  "Ithink——we’vehadenough——fortoday,"shefaltered.
  "Ihaven’t.Besides,ifIcouldhaveacouplemoretogowiththis,itwouldmakeaveryprettylittlegroupofsongs."
  "’Togowiththis’!Whatdoyoumean?"
  "Tothepublishers,ofcourse."
  "ThePUBLISHERS!"
  "Certainly.Didyouthinkyouweregoingtokeepthesesongstoyourself?"
  "Buttheyaren’tworthit!Theycan’tbe——goodenough!"
  UnbelievingjoywasinBilly’svoice.
  "No?Well,we’llletothersdecidethat,"observedCyril,withashrug."Allis,ifyou’vegotanymorewood——likethis——Iadviseyoutomakeituprightaway."
  "ButIhavealready!"criedthegirl,excitedly."TherearelotsoflittlethingsthatI’ve——thatis,thereare——some,"shecorrectedhastily,atthelookthatsprangintoCyril’seyes.
  "Oh,thereare,"laughedCyril."Well,we’llseewhat——"Buthedidnotsee.Hedidnotevenfinishhissentence;forBilly’smaid,Rosa,appearedjustthenwithacard.
  "ShowMr.Calderwellinhere,"saidBilly.Cyrilsaidnothing——
  aloud;whichwaswell.Histhoughts,justthen,werebetterleftunspoken.
  CHAPTERXXVII
  MARIE,WHOLONGSTOMAKEPUDDINGS
  WonderfuldayscamethentoBilly.Foursongs,itseemed,hadbeenpronouncedbycompetentcriticsdecidedly"worthit"——unmistakably"goodenough";andtheyweretobebroughtoutassoonaspossible.
  "Ofcourseyouunderstand,"explainedCyril,"thatthere’sno’hit’
  expected.Thankheaventheyaren’tthatsort!Andthere’snogreatmoneyinit,either.You’dhavetowriteamasterpiecelike’She’smyJu—JuBaby’orsomesuchgemtogetthe’hit’andthemoney.Butthesongsarefine,andthey’lltakewithculturedhearers.We’llgetthemintroducedbygoodsingers,ofcourse,andthey’llbefavoritessoonfortheconcertstage,andforparlors."
  BillysawagooddealofCyrilnow.Alreadyshewasatworkrewritingandpolishingsomeofherhalf—completedmelodies,andCyrilwashelpingher,byhisinterestaswellasbyhiscriticism.
  Hewas,infact,atthehouseveryfrequently——toofrequently,indeed,tosuiteitherBertramorCalderwell.EvenWilliamfrownedsometimeswhenhiscozychatswithBillywereinterruptedbyCyril’sappearingwitharollofnewmusicforherto"try";thoughWilliamtoldhimselfthatheoughttobethankfuliftherewasanythingthatcouldmakeCyrilmorecompanionable,lessreservedandmorose.AndCyrilWASdifferent——therewasnodisputingthat.
  Calderwellsaidthathehadcome"outofhisshell";andBertramtoldBillythatshemusthave"foundhisnoteandstruckitgoodandhard."
  Billywasveryhappy.Tothelittlemusicteacher,MarieHawthorn,shetalkedmorefreely,perhaps,thanshedidtoanyoneelse.
  "It’ssowonderful,Marie——sowonderfullywonderful,"shesaidoneday,"tosithereinmyownroomandsingalittlesongthatcomesfromsomewhere,anywhere,outoftheskyitself.Thenbyandby,thatlittlesongwillflyaway,away,overlandandsea;andsomedayitwilltouchsomebody’sheartjustasithastouchedmine.
  Oh,Marie,isitnotwonderful?"
  "Itis,dear——anditisnot.Yoursongscouldnothelpreachingsomebody’sheart.There’snothingwonderfulinthat."
  "Sweetflatterer!"
  "ButImeanit.Theyarebeautiful;andsois——Mr.Henshaw’smusic."
  "Yes,itis,"murmuredBilly,abstractedly.
  Therewasalongpause,thenMarieaskedwithshyhesitation:
  "Doyouthink,MissBilly——thathewouldcare?Ilistenedyesterdaywhenhewasplayingtoyou.Iwasuphereinyourroom,butwhenIheardthemusicI——Iwentout,onthestairsandsatdown.Wasitvery——badofme?"
  Billylaughedhappily.
  "Ifitwas,hecan’tsayanything,"shereassuredher."He’sdonethesamethinghimself——andsohaveI."
  "HEhasdoneit!"
  "Yes.ItwasathishomelastThanksgiving.Itwasthenthathefoundout——aboutmyimprovising."
  "Oh—h!"Marie’seyeswerewistful."Andhecaressomuchnowforyourmusic!"
  "Doeshe?Doyouthinkhedoes?"demandedBilly.
  "Iknowhedoes——andfortheonewhomakesit,too."
  "Nonsense!"laughedBilly,withpinkercheeks."It’sthemusic,notthemusician,thatpleaseshim.Mr.Cyrildoesn’tlikewomen."
  "Hedoesn’tlikewomen!"
  "No.Butdon’tlooksoshocked,mydear.EveryonewhoknowsMr.
  Cyrilknowsthat."
  "ButIdon’tthink——Ibelieveit,"demurredMarie,gazingstraightintoBilly’seyes."I’msureIdon’tbelieveit."
  Underthelittlemusicteacher’ssteadygazeBillyflushedagain.
  Thelaughshegavewasanembarrassedone,butthroughitvibratedapleasedring.
  "Nonsense!"sheexclaimed,springingtoherfeetandmovingrestlesslyabouttheroom.WiththenextbreathshehadchangedthesubjecttoonefarremovedfromMr.Cyrilandhislikesanddislikes.
  SometimelaterBillyplayed,anditwasthenthatMariedrewalongsigh.
  "Howbeautifulitmustbetoplay——likethat,"shebreathed.
  "Asifyou,amusicteacher,couldnotplay!"laughedBilly.
  "Notlikethat,dear.Youknowitisnotlikethat."
  Billyfrowned.
  "Butyouaresoaccurate,Marie,andyoucanreadatsightsorapidly!"
  "Oh,yes,likealittlemachine,Iknow!"scornedtheusuallygentleMarie,bitterly."Don’ttheyhaveathingofmetalthataddsfigureslikemagic?Well,I’mlikethat.IseegandIplayg;IseedandIplayd;IseefandIplayf;andafterI’veseenenoughg’sandd’sandf’sandplayedthemall,thethingisdone.
  I’veplayed."
  "Why,Marie!Marie,mydear!"Thesecondexclamationwasverytender,forMariewascrying.
  "There!IknewIshouldsomedayhaveitout——allout,"sobbedMarie."Ifeltitcoming."
  "Thenperhapsyou’ll——you’llfeelbetternow,"stammeredBilly.
  Shetriedtosaymore——otherwordsthatwouldhavebeenarealcomfort;buthertonguerefusedtospeakthem.Sheknewsowell,sowoefullywell,howverywoodenandmechanicalthelittlemusicteacher’splayingalwayshadbeen.ButthatMarieshouldrealizeitherselflikethis——thetragedyofitmadeBilly’sheartache.
  AtMarie’snextwords,however,Billycaughtherbreathinsurprise.
  "Butyouseeitwasn’tmusic——itwasn’tevermusicthatIwanted——
  todo,"sheconfessed.
  "Itwasn’tmusic!Butwhat——Idon’tunderstand,"murmuredBilly.
  "No,Isupposenot,"sighedtheother."Youplaysobeautifullyyourself."
  "ButIthoughtyoulovedmusic."
  "Ido.Iloveitdearly——inothers.ButIcan’t——Idon’twanttomakeitmyself."
  "Butwhatdoyouwanttodo?"
  Marielaughedsuddenly.
  "Doyouknow,mydear,IhavehalfamindtotellyouwhatIdoliketodo——justtomakeyoustare."
  "Well?"Billy’seyeswerewidewithinterest.
  "Ilikebestofanythingto——darnstockingsandmakepuddings."
  "Marie!"
  "Rankheresy,isn’tit?"smiledMarie,tearfully."ButIdo,truly.Ilovetoweavethethreadsevenlyinandout,andseeabigholeclose.AsforthepuddingsIdon’tmeanthecommonbread—
  and—butterkind,buttheonesthathavewhitesofeggsandfruit,andprettyquiveryjelliesallrubyandamberlights,youknow."
  "Youdearlittlepieceofdomesticity,"laughedBilly."Thenwhyintheworlddon’tyoudothesethings?"
  "Ican’t,inmyownkitchen;Ican’taffordakitchentodothemin.AndIjustcouldn’tdothem——rightalong——inotherpeople’skitchens."
  "Butwhydoyou——play?"
  "Iwasbroughtuptoit.Youknowwehadmoneyonce,lotsofit,"
  sighedMarie,asifsheweredeploringamisfortune."Andmotherwasdeterminedtohavememusical.Eventhen,asalittletot,I
  likedpudding—making,andaftermymud—piedaysIwasalwaysbeggingmothertoletmegodownintothekitchen,tocook.Butshewouldn’tallowit,ever.Sheengagedthemostexpensivemastersandsetmepractising,alwayspractising.Isimplyhadtolearnmusic;andIlearneditliketheaddingmachine.Thenafterward,whenfatherdied,andthenmother,andthemoneyflewaway,why,ofcourseIhadtodosomething,sonaturallyIturnedtothemusic.ItwasallIcoulddo.But——well,youknowhowitis,dear.Iteach,andteachwell,perhaps,sofarasthemechanicalpartgoes;butasfortherest——Iamalwayslongingforacozycornerwithabasketofstockingstomend,orakitchenwherethereisapuddingwaitingtobemade."
  "Youpoordear!"criedBilly."I’veapairofstockingsnowthatneedsattention,andI’vebeenjustlongingforoneofyour’quiveryjelliesallrubyandamberlights’eversinceyoumentionedthem.But——well,isthereanythingIcoulddotohelp?"
  "Nothing,thankyou,"sighedMarie,risingwearilytoherfeet,andcoveringhereyeswithherhandforamoment."Myheadachesshockingly,butI’vegottogothisminuteandinstructlittleJennieKnowlshowtoplaythewonderfulscaleofGwithablackkeyinit.Besides,youdohelpme,youhavehelpedme,youarealwayshelpingme,dear,"sheaddedremorsefully;"andit’swickedofmetomakethatshadowcometoyoureyes.Pleasedon’tthinkofit,orofme,anymore."Andwithachokinglittlesobshehurriedfromtheroom,followedbytheamazed,questioning,sorrowfuleyesofBilly.
  CHAPTERXXVIII
  "I’MGOINGTOWIN"
  NearlyallofBilly’sfriendsknewthatBertramHenshawwasinlovewithBillyNeilsonbeforeBillyherselfknewit.Notthattheyregardeditasanythingserious——"it’sonlyBertram"wasstillsaidofhimonalmostalloccasions.ButtoBertramhimselfitwasveryserious.
  TheworldtoBertram,indeed,hadcometoassumeavastlydifferentaspectfromwhatithaddisplayedintimespast.Heretoforeithadbeenaplaythingwhichlikeajuggler’stinselballmightbetossedfromhandtohandatwill.Nowitwasnoplaything——noglitteringbauble.Itwassomethingbigandseriousandsplendid——becauseBillylivedinit;somethingthatdemandedallhispowerstodo,andbe——becauseBillywaswatching;somethingthatmightbeaHadesoftormentoranElysiumofbliss——accordingtowhetherBillysaid"no"or"yes."
  SinceThanksgivingBertramhadknownthatitwaslove——thisconsumingfirewithinhim;andsinceThanksgivinghehadknown,too,thatitwasjealousy——thisfiercehatredofCalderwell.Hewasashamedofthehatred.Hetoldhimselfthatitwasunmanly,unkind,andunreasonable;andhevowedthathewouldovercomeit.
  Attimesheevenfanciedthathehadovercomeit;butalwaysthesightofCalderwellinBilly’slittledrawing—roomorofeventheman’scardonBilly’ssilvertraywasenoughtoshowhimthathehadnot.
  Therewereothers,too,whoannoyedBertramnotalittle,foremostofthesebeinghisownbrothers.StillhewasnotreallyworriedaboutWilliamandCyril,hetoldhimself.Williamhedidnotconsidertobeamarryingman;andCyril——everyoneknewthatCyrilwasawoman—hater.HewasdoubtlessattractednowonlybyBilly’smusic.TherewasnorealrivalrytobefearedfromWilliamandCyril.ButtherewasalwaysCalderwell,andCalderwellwasserious.Bertramdecided,therefore,aftersomeweeksoffeverishunrest,thattheonlyroadtopeacelaythroughafrankavowalofhisfeelings,andadirectappealtoBillytogivehimthegreatboonofherlove.
  Justhere,however,Bertrammetwithanunexpecteddifficulty.Hecouldnotfindwordswithwhichtomakehisavowalortopresenthisappeal.Hewassurprisedandannoyed.Neverbeforehadhebeenatalossforwords——merewords.Anditwasnotthathelackedopportunity.Hewalked,drove,andtalkedwithBilly,andalwaysshewascompanionable,attentivetowhathehadtosay.
  Neverwasshecoldorreserved.Neverdidshefailtogreethimwithacheerysmile.
  Bertramconcluded,indeed,afteratime,thatshewastoocompanionable,toocheery.Hewishedshewouldhesitate,stammer,blush;bealittleshy.Hewishedthatshewoulddisplaysurprise,annoyance,even——anythingbutthateternalairofcomradeship.Andthen,oneafternoonintheearlytwilightofaJanuaryday,hefreedhismind,quiteunexpectedly.
  "Billy,IwishyouWOULDN’Tbeso——sofriendly!"heexclaimedinavoicethatwasalmostsharp.
  Billylaughedatfirst,butthenextmomentashameddistressdrovethemerrimentquiteoutofherface.
  "YoumeanthatIpresumeon——onourfriendship?"shestammered.
  "ThatyoufearthatIwillagain——shadowyourfootsteps?"ItwasthefirsttimesincethememorablenightitselfthatBillyhadeverinBertram’spresencereferredtoheryoungguardianshipofhiswelfare.Sherealizednow,suddenly,thatshehadjustbeengivingthemanbeforehersomevery"sisterlyadvice,"andthethoughtsentaconfusedredtohercheeks.
  Bertramturnedquickly.
  "Billy,thatwasthedearestandloveliestthingagirleverdid——
  onlyIwastoogreatachumptoappreciateit!"finishedBertraminavoicethatwasnotquitesteady.
  "Thankyou,"smiledthegirl,withaslowshakeofherheadandarelievedlookinhereyes;"butI’mafraidIcan’tquiteagreetothat."Thenextmomentshehaddemandedmischievously:"Why,then,pray,thisunflatteringobjectiontomy——friendlinessnow?"
  "BecauseIdon’twantyouforafriend,orasister,oranythingelsethat’srelated,"stormedBertram,withsuddenvehemence."I
  don’twantyouforanythingbut——awife!Billy,WON’Tyoumarryme?"
  AgainBillylaughed——laugheduntilshesawthepainedangerleaptothegrayeyesbeforeher;thenshebecamegraveatonce.
  "Bertram,forgiveme.Ididn’tthinkyoucould——youcan’tbe——
  serious!"
  "ButIam."
  Billyshookherhead.
  "Butyoudon’tloveme——notME,Bertram.It’sonlytheturnofmyheador——orthetiltofmychinthatyoulove——topaint,"sheprotested,unconsciouslyechoingthewordsCalderwellhadsaidtoherweeksbefore."I’monlyanother’FaceofaGirl.’"
  "You’retheonly’Faceofagirl’tomenow,Billy,"declaredtheman,withdisarmingtenderness.
  "No,no,notthat,"demurredBilly,indistress."Youdon’tmeanit.Youonlythinkyoudo.Itcouldn’tbethat.Itcan’tbe!"
  "Butitis,dear.IthinkIhavelovedyoueversincethatnightlongagowhenIsawyourdear,startledfaceappealingtomefrombeyondSeaver’shatefulsmile.And,Billy,IneverwentoncewithSeaveragain——anywhere.Didyouknowthat?"
  "No;but——I’mglad——soglad!"
  "AndI’mglad,too.Soyousee,Imusthavelovedyouthen,thoughunconsciously,perhaps;andIloveyounow."
  "No,no,pleasedon’tsaythat.Itcan’tbe——itreallycan’tbe.
  I——Idon’tloveyou——thatway,Bertram."
  Themanpaledalittle.
  "Billy——forgivemeforasking,butit’ssomuchtome——isitthatthereis——someoneelse?"Hisvoiceshook.
  "No,no,indeed!Thereisnoone."
  "It’snot——Calderwell?"
  Billy’sforeheadgrewpink.Shelaughednervous1y.
  "No,no,never!"
  "Butthereareothers,somanyothers!"
  "Nonsense,Bertram;there’snoone——noone,Iassureyou!"
  "It’snotWilliam,ofcourse,norCyril.Cyrilhateswomen."
  AdeeperflushcametoBilly’sface.Herchinrosealittle;andanodddefianceflashedfromhereyes.Butalmostinstantlyitwasgone,andaslowsmilehadcometoherlips.
  "Yes,Iknow.Everyone——saysthatCyrilhateswomen,"sheobserveddemurely.
  "Then,Billy,Isha’n’tgiveup!"vowedBertram,softly."SometimeyouWILLloveme!"
  "No,no,Icouldn’t.Thatis,I’mnotgoingto——tomarry,"
  stammeredBilly.
  "Notgoingtomarry!"
  "No.There’smymusic——youknowhowIlovethat,andhowmuchitistome.Idon’tthinkthere’lleverbeaman——thatI’lllovebetter."
  Bertramliftedhishead.Veryslowlyherosetillhissplendidsixfeetofclean—limbedstrengthandmanlybeautytoweredawayabovethelowchairinwhichBillysat.Hismouthshowednewlinesaboutthecorners,andhiseyeslookeddownverytenderlyatthegirlbesidehim;buthisvoice,whenhespoke,hadalightwhimsicalitythatdeceivedevenBilly’sears.
  "Andsoit’smusic——acold,senselessthingofspiderymarksoncleanwhitepaper——thatismyonlyrival,"hecried."ThenI’llwarnyou,Billy,I’llwarnyou.I’mgoingtowin!"Andwiththathewasgone.
  CHAPTERXXIX
  "I’MNOTGOINGTOMARRY"
  BillydidnotknowwhethertobemoreamazedoramusedatBertram’sproposalofmarriage.Shewasvexed;shewasverysureofthat.
  TomarryBertram?Absurd!Thenshereflectedthat,afterall,itwasonlyBertram,soshecalmedherself.
  Still,itwasannoying.ShelikedBertram,shehadalwayslikedhim.Hewasaniceboy,andamostcongenialcompanion.Heneverboredher,asdidsomeothers;andhewasalwaysthoughtfulofcushionsandfootstoolsandcupsofteawhenonewastired.Hewas,infact,anidealfriend,justthesortshewanted;anditwassuchapitythathemustspoilitallnowwiththissillysentimentality!Andofcoursehehadspoileditall.Therewasnogoingbacknowtotheiroldfriendliness.Hewouldbemoroseorsillybyturns,accordingtowhethershefrownedorsmiled;orelsehewouldtakehimselfoffinatragicsortofwaythatwasverydisturbing.Hehadsaid,tobesure,thathewould"win."Win,indeed!AsifshecouldmarryBertram!Whenshemarried,herchoicewouldfalluponaman,notaboy;abig,grave,earnestmantowhomtheworldmeantsomething;amanwholovedmusic,ofcourse;amanwhowouldsingleheroutfromalltheworld,andshowtoher,andtoheronly,thedepthandtendernessofhislove;amanwho——butshewasnotgoingtomarry,anyway,rememberedBilly,suddenly.Andwiththatshebegantocry.Thewholethingwasso"tiresome,"shedeclared,andso"absurd."
  BillyratherdreadedhernextmeetingwithBertram.Shefeared——
  sheknewnotwhat.But,asitturnedout,sheneednothavefearedanything,forhemethertranquilly,cheerfully,asusual;andhedidnothingandsaidnothingthathemightnothavedoneandsaidbeforethattwilightchattookplace.