“fortydrawlsandtenstutterstoeveryorange,“quotingCaptainShadagain。
“Itoldyouyoumustn’tgethimstarted,“wentonMissKeith,gushingly。“He’lltalkforeverifhehasachance。Butyouwoulddoit。Askinghimifhekeptpomegranatesandbread-fruit!Theidea!I’msurehedoesn’tknowwhatapomegranateis。YouwereSO
solemnandhewasSOridiculous!IthoughtIshouldDIE。Youreallyarethedrollestperson,CrawfordSmith!Idon’tknowwhatI
shalldowithyou。“
ItwasevidentthatheropinionofyoungSmithwasnotdifferentfromthatofotheryoungladiesofherage。AlsothatCrawfordhimselfwasnotentirelyunconsciousofthatopinion。Ateighteen,tobesetuponapedestalandworshiped,tohaveone’sfeeblestjokehailedasamasterpieceofwit,isdangerousfortheidol;theeffortofsustainingtheelevatedpositionentailstheriskofafall。Crawfordwasbuteighteenandagoodfellow,buthehadbeenworshipedagooddeal。Hewasquiteassensibleasotheryoungchapsofhisage,whichstatementmeansexactlythatandnomore。
“Well,“hesaid,withacomplacentgrin,“welearnedhowtopronounce’pomegranate’atanyrate。Youbeginwithapup-pup-pup,asifyouwerecallingadog,andyoufinishwithagruntlikeapig。IwishIhadaskedhimforapersimmon;thenhe’dhavemadeanoiselikeacat。“
MissKeith,whensherecoveredfromherspasmofmerriment,declaredhercompanion“perfectlykilling。“
“Butwemusthurry,“shesaid。“WereallymustCrawford,youbuythethings。Ishouldthinkofthatfruitmanandlaughallthetime,IknowIshould。“
Sheremainedbythedoorandtheyounggentlemanstrolledtothecounter。Hecastanamusedglanceaboutthestore;itsdisplayofstockwas,thankstoMary-’Gusta’srecenteffortsattidiness,notquitetheconglomeratemassithadbeenwhenthepartnersweresolelyresponsible,butthevarietywasstillstrikinglyobvious。
“Humph!“observedCrawford;“I’veforgottenwhatwecametobuy,butI’msureitishere,whateveritis。Someemporium,this!
Introducemetotheproprietor,willyou,Edna?“
Ednagiggled。
“Sheisn’ttheproprietor,“shesaid。“Sheisjusttheclerk,that’sall。Hernameis——I’veforgottenyourname,dear。Whatisit?“
“MaryLathrop,“repliedMary-’Gusta,shortly。Sheobjectedtobeingaddressedas“dear“andshestronglyobjectedtothepatronizingtoneinwhichitwasuttered。EdnaKeithwasolderthanshe,butnotoldenoughtopatronize。
“Oh,yes,soitis,“saidtheyounglady。“Butthatisn’twhateveryonecallsyou。Theycallyousomethingelse——somethingfunny——
Oh,Iknow!Mary-’Gusta,that’sit。Iknewitwasfunny。Mary-
’Gusta,thisisMr。Smith。Hewantstobuysomethings。Andhe’sinaGREAThurry。“
“Charmed,Mary-’Gusta,“saidMr。Smith。Mary’-Gustadidnotappearcharmed。Sheaskedhimwhathewanted。
“SearchME,“saidtheyounggentleman,cheerfully。“Therewasalist,wasn’tthere,Edna?Youhaveit,Ithink。“
Ednaproducedthelist,scrawledinpencilonthebackofanenvelope。Crawfordlookeditover。
“Sam’swritingisn’texactlyprint,“heobserved,“butIcanguessatit。Let’ssee——apoundofbutter。Where’sthebutterdepartmentofthisBonMarche,Edna?“
Edna,afteranotherconvulsion,declaredshedidn’tknow。
“NodoubtMiss——er——MaryJaneknows,“wentonhercompanion。“Why,yes,ofcourseshedoes。Rightthere,behindtheoilskinjacket。
Removejacket,opendoor——behold,theiceboxandthebutter。Neat,compact,andconvenient。Onepoundonly,ElizabethEliza。Thankyou。“
“Hernameisn’tElizabethEliza,“giggledMissKeith。“Isn’theawful,Mary-’Gusta!Youmustn’tmindhim。“
“Idon’t,“saidMary-’Gusta,promptly。“Whatelsedoyouwant?“
Crawfordconsultedthelist。“Thenextitem,“hesaid,“appearstobea——er——certainkindofham。Iblushtomentionit,butImust。
Itisdeviledham。Haveyouthatkindofham,Mary-’Gusta?“
Mary-’Gustatookthecanofdeviledhamfromtheshelf。Crawfordshookhishead。
“Tothinkthatonesoyoungshouldbesofamiliarwithhamofthatkind!“hesaid。“Shedidn’tspeakitsname,though。SupposeIhadaskedyouwhatkindofhamyouhad,Miss——er——’Gustahowwouldyouhavegotaroundit?“
Mary-’Gustadidnotanswer。Shewasveryangry,butshewasdeterminedthathertormentorshouldnotknowit。
“Ayoungladyoffewwords,“commentedMr。Smith。“Nextitemappearstobesixboxesofmarshmallows。Whereisthemarshmallowdepartment,MaryJane?“
Mary-’Gustahesitated。Thetinboxesofmarshmallowswereontheshelfbehindthecounterunderthecandycase。Buttherewasafreshassortmentinanunopenedpackingboxinthebackroom,aboxwhichhadjustcomefromthewholesaleconfectioner’sinBoston。
HerUncleZoethhadexpressedafearthatthosebeneaththecounterwereratherstale。
MissKeithfidgeted。“Oh,dear!“sheexclaimed。“ThisisSOslow。
IknowSamandtherestwon’twaitforusattheclam-man’smuchlonger。“
Hercompanionwhistled。“Istheword’hurry’intheSouthHarnissdictionary,Edna?“heinquired。“Howaboutit,MaryJane?“
Mary-’Gustawasdeterminednottohurry。Thissuperioryoungmanwishedhertodosoandthatwasreasonsufficientfordelay。
YoungSmithsighedresignedly。“Edna,“hesaid,“supposewesitdown。ThewordisNOTinthedictionary。“
Therewasbutonechair,exceptthosebehindthecounters,inthestore。MissKeithtookthatwithanexclamationofimpatience。
CrawfordSmith,whistlingamournfuldirge,saunteredtotheendofthecounterandsatdownuponanailkeg。
Mary-’Gustaalsoutteredanexclamation。Itiswelltolookbeforeoneleaps,also,occasionally,beforeonesits。Thatkeghad,spreadacrossitstop,asheetofthefreshandverystickyflypaper。Beforeshecouldhaveprotested,evenifshehadwishedtodoso,theyounggentleman’sspotlesswhiteflannelsandtheflypapercameincontact,closeandclingingcontact。
Mary-’Gustaputahandtohermouth。Crawfordlookedather,caughtthedirectionofherlook,andlookedinthatdirectionhimself。
Hiswhistlestoppedinthemiddleofanoteandhisfaceimmediatelybecameamatchforhissocksandtie,abeautifulrichcrimson,thechosencolorofhisUniversity。
MissKeith,fromherseatbythedoor,couldnotseebeyondtheendofthecounter。Consequentlyshewasunawareofthemishaptothewhiteflannels。ButMary-’Gustasawandknew;alsoshecouldseethatMr。Smithknew。
“Oh,dear!“exclaimedEdna,impatiently。“Wearedreadfullylatenow。We’llnevergetthereontime。Samwon’twaitforus;Iknowhewon’t。Wherearethosemarshmallows?Can’tyoupleasehurry,Mary’-Gusta?“
Mary-’Gusta’seyesweresparkling。Hermannerwasprovokinglydeliberate。Shetookaboxofmarshmallowsfrombeneaththecounter。
“Therearesomehere,“shesaid,“butI’mafraidtheyaren’tveryfresh。Thefreshones,thosethathavejustcome,areinaboxinthebackroom。Thatboxhasn’tbeenopenedyet。IfyoucanwaitI’llopenitforyou。“
YoungSmithsaidnothing。MissKeith,however,spokehermind。
“Ofcoursewecan’twait,“shedeclared。“I’msurethesewilldo。
Theywilldo,won’tthey,Crawford?“
AndstillCrawfordremainedsilent。Mary-’Gusta,whowasenjoyingthisportionoftheinterviewasmuchasshehaddislikeditsbeginning,offeredasuggestion。
“Ifyouwilljustcomehereandlookatthese,“shesaid,withmischievousgravity,addressingtheyounggentlemanonthenailkeg,“perhapsyoucantellwhetherthey’refreshenough。“
Theyounggentlemandidnotrise。Hisfaceretaineditsbrilliantcolorandhislipsmoved,buthisanswerwasnotaudible。Athisagethedreadofappearingridiculous,especiallyinthepresenceofayouthfulandcharmingfemale,isaboveallothershateful。AndEdnaKeithwasnottheonlygirlinthepicnicparty;therewereothers。Shewouldbecertaintotellthem。CrawfordSmithforesawahorribleday,adayofdisgraceandhumiliation,oneinwhichhewasdestinedtofurnishamusementwithoutsharingthefun。AndSamKeith,whohadremarkeduponthesplendorofhisfriend’sattire,wouldgloat——notonlyhereinSouthHarniss,butelsewhere——inCambridge,forinstance。Anoldermanwouldhaverisen,laughedwhetherhefeltlikelaughingornot——andhaveexpressedhisopinionofflypaper。Crawfordwasnotyetaman;hewasinthetransitionstage,aboyfondlyhopingthatotherpeoplemightthinkhimaman。
Sohesatstilluntilitwastoolatetorise,andthenwishedhehadriseninthefirstplace。
“Mygoodness!“exclaimedthefidgetyMissKeith,“whydon’tyoulookatthem,Crawford?Whatareyouwaitingfor?“