首页 >出版文学> LADDIE>第10章

第10章

  Thelittleflagsandalltheorchardandbirdswerebehindme;ononehandwasthebroad,grassymeadowwiththecreekrunningsoswiftly,Icouldhearit,andthebreathofthecowslipscameupthehill。Straightinfrontwasthelanerunningdownfromthebarn,crossingthecreekandspreadingintothewoodspasture,wherethewaterranwiderandyetswifter,bigforesttreesgrew,andbushesofberries,pawpaws,willow,everythingeverfoundinanIndianathicket;grassunderfoot,andmanywildflowersandfernswhereverthecattleandhorsesdidn’ttramplethem,andbigger,wilderbirds,manyhavingnamesIdidn’tknow。Ontheleft,acrossthelane,wasalargecornfield,withtreeshereandthere,anddownthevalleyIcouldseetheBigCreekcomingfromthewest,theBigHillwiththechurchontop,andalwaysthewhitegravestonesaroundit。Alwaystootherewastheskyoverhead,oftenwithcloudsbankeduntilyoufeltifyouonlycouldreachthem,youcouldclimbstraighttothegatesthatfatherwassofondofsingingaboutsweepingthrough。Mostlytherewasabighawkoraturkeybuzzardhangingamongthem,justtoshowusthatwewerenotsomuch,andthatwecouldn’tshootthem,unlesstheychosetocomedownandgiveusachance。
  IsetBobbyandHezekiahonthefenceandstoodbetweenthem。
  “Wewillopenservicethismorningbysingingthethirty-fifthhymn,“Isaid。“SisterDover,willyoupitchthetune?“
  ThenImademyvoicehighandsqueallylikehersandsang:
  “ComeyethatlovetheLord,Andletyourjoysbeknown,Joininasongofsweetaccord,Andthussurroundthethrone。“
  Isangallofitandthensaid:“BrotherHastings,willyouleadusinprayer?“
  ThenIkneltdown,andprayedBrotherHastings’prayer。Icouldhaverepeatedanyoneofadozenoftheprayersthemenofourchurchprayed,butIlikedBrotherHastings’best,becauseithadthebiggestwordsinit。Ilovedwordsthatfilledyourmouth,andsoundedasifyouwereusedtobooks。Itbegansortofsing-
  songyandmeasuredinstops,likeapoetrypiece:
  “OurHeavenlyFather:WecomebeforeTheethismorning,Humblewormsofthedust,imploringthyblessing。
  WebeseechTheetoforgiveourtransgressions,Healourbacksliding,andloveusfreely。“
  Sometimesfromthereonitchangedalittle,butitalwaysbeganandendedexactlythesameway。FathersaidBrotherHastingswaspowerfulinprayer,buthedidwishhe’dleaveoutthe“wormsofthedust。“Hesaidwewerenot“wormsofthedust“;wewerereasoning,progressive,inventivemenandwomen。Hesaidawormwouldneverbeanythingexceptaworm,butwecouldstudyandimproveourselves,helpothers,makegreatmachines,paintpictures,writebooks,andgotoanextentthatmustalmostamazetheAlmightyHimself。HesaidthatifBrotherHastingshaddonemoreplowinginhistime,andhadalittlecloseracquaintancewithworms,hewouldn’tbesoreadytocallhimselfandeveryoneelseaworm。Nowifyouaretalkingaboutcutwormsorfishworms,fatherisright。Butthereisthatplacewhere——“Charleshisheelhadraised,uponthehumblewormtotread,“andthewormliftedupitsvoiceandspakethustoCharles:
  “IknowI’mnowamongthethingsUncomelytoyoursight,But,byandby,onsplendidwings,You’llseemehighandbright。“
  NowI’llbetacentTHATisthekindofwormBrotherHastingssaidwewere。Imustspeaktofatheraboutit。Idon’twanthimtobemistaken;andIreallythinkheisaboutworms。Ofcourseheknowsthekindthathavewingsandfly。BrotherHastingsmixedhimupbysaying“wormsofthedust“whenheshouldhavesaidwormsoftheleaves。Thosethatgointolittleroundcasesinearthorspincocoonsontreesalwaysliveonleaves,andmanyofthemrearthehead,havinglargehorns,andwaveitinamannerfarfromhumble。SofatherandBrotherHastingswerebothpartlyright,andpartlywrong。
  Whentheprayercametoaclose,whereeveryonealwayssaid“Amen,“IpunchedBobbyandwhispered,“Crow,Bobby,crow!“andhestoodupandbroughtitoutstrong,likehealwaysdidwhenI
  toldhim。Ihadtostoptheservicetofeedhimalittlewheat,topayhimforcrowing;butasnoonewasthereexceptus,thatdidn’tmatter。ThenHezekiahcrowdedoverforsome,soIhadtopretendIwasMrs。Danielsfeedingherchildrencarawaycake,likeshealwaysdidinmeeting。IfIhadbeenthemotherofchildrenwhocouldn’thavegonewithoutthingstoeatinchurchI’dhavekeptthemathome。Mrs。Danielsalwayshadthecarpetgreasywithcakecrumbswherevershesat,andmotherdidn’tthinktheLordlikedadirtychurchanymorethanwewouldhavewantedamussyhouse。WhenIhadBobbyandHezekiahsettledItookmytextfrommyhead,becauseIdidn’tknowthemeetingfeelingwascomingonmewhenIstarted,andIhadbroughtnoBiblealong。
  “Blessedareallmen,butmostblessedaretheywhoholdtheirtempers。“IhadtostrokeBobbyalittleandpatHezekiahonceinawhile,tokeepthemfromflyingdownandfighting,butmostlyIcouldgivemyattentiontomysermon。
  “Wehaveonlytolookaroundusthismorningtoseethatallmenareblessed,“Isaid。“Theskyisbigenoughtocovereveryone。
  Ifthesungetstoohot,therearetreesforshadeorthecloudscomeupforawhile。Iftheearthbecomestoodry,italwaysrainsbeforeitiseverlastinglytoolate。Therearebirdsenoughtosingforeveryone,butterfliesenoughtogoaround,andsomanyflowerswecan’talwayskeepthecattleandhorsesfromtrampingdownandevendevouringbeautifulones,likeDanielthoughtthelionswoulddevourhim——buttheydidn’t。Wouldn’titbeagoodidea,OLord,forYoutoshutthecows’mouthsandsavethecowslipsalso;theymaynotbeworthasmuchasaman,buttheyarelotsbetterlooking,andtheymakefinegreens。Itdoesn’tseemrightforcowstoeatflowers;butmaybeitisasrightforthemasitisforus。Thebestwaywouldbeforourcattletodolikethatpieceaboutthecowinthemeadowexactlythesameasours:
  “`Andthroughitranalittlebrook,Whereoftthecowswoulddrink,Andthenliedownamongtheflowers,Thatgrewuponthebrink。’
  “Younotice,OLord,thecowsdidnoteattheflowersinthisinstance;theymerelyrestedamongthem,andgoodnessknows,that’senoughforanycow。Theyhadbetterdonelikethenextverse,whereitsays:
  “`Theyliketoliebeneaththetrees,Allshadedbytheboughs,Whene’erthenoontideheatcameon:
  Sure,theywerehappycows!’
  “Now,OLord,thisplainlyteachesthatifcowsarehappy,menshouldbemuchmoreso,forlikethecows,theyhaveallThoucanstdoforthem,andalltheycandoforthemselves,besides。
  Soeverymanisblessed,becauseThybountyhasprovidedallthesethingsforhim,withoutmoneyandwithoutprice。Ifsomemenarenotsoblessedasothers,itistheirownfault,andnotYours。Youmadetheearth,andallthatistherein,andYoumadethemen。OfcourseYouhadtomakemendifferent,soeachwomancantellwhichonebelongstoher;butIbelieveitwouldhavebeenagoodideawhileYouwereatit,ifYouwouldhavemadeallofthemenoughalikethattheywouldallwork。Perhapsitisn’tpoliteofmetoaskmoreofYouthanYousawfittodo;andthen,again,itmaybethattherearesomethingsimpossible,eventoYou。Ifthereisanythingatall,seemsasifmakingIsaacThomasworkwouldbeit。Fathersaysthatmanwouldratherstarveandseehiswifeandchildrenhungrythantotakeoffhiscoat,rolluphissleeves,andplowcorn;soitwasgoodenoughforhimwhenLeonsaid,`Gototheant,thousluggard,’rightathim。So,ofcourse,Isaacisnotsoblessedassomemen,becausehewon’twork,andthusheneverknowswhetherhe’sgoingtohaveabigdinneronSunday,untilaftersomeoneaskshim,becausehelookssoempty。Motherthinksitisn’tfairtofeedIsaacandsendhimhomewithhisstomachfull,whileMandyandthebabiesaresickandhungry。ButIsaacissomeblessed,becausehehasreligionandgetsrealhappy,andsings,andshouts,andhe’sgoingtoHeavenwhenhedies。Hemustwishhe’dgosoon,especiallyinwinter。
  “Therearemenwhodonothaveeventhisblessing,andtomakethingsworse,OLord,theygetmadasfireandhittheirhorses,andlooklikeallpossessed。ThewordsofmytextthismorningapplyespeciallytoamanwhohasalltheblessingsThouhastshoweredandflowereduponmenwhowork,orwhosepeopleworkedandleftthemsomuchmoneytheydon’tneedto,andyetasadderfaceIneversaw,oracrosserone。Helookslikehewasgoingtohitpeople,andhedoeshithishorseanawfulcrack。
  It’snowaytohitahorse,notevenifitbalks,becauseitcan’thitback,andit’sacowardlythingtodo。Ifyourubtheirearsandtalktothem,theycomequicker,OourHeavenlyFather,andifyouhitthemjustbecauseyouaremad,it’sabiggersinyet。
  “Nomanisnearlysoblessedashemightbewhogoesaroundlookingkilledwithgriefwhenheshouldcheerup,nomatterwhatailshim;andwhoshutsuphisdoorandsayshiswifeissickwhensheisn’t,andwhoscowlsateveryone,whenhecanberealpleasantifhelikes,assomeinDivinePresencecantestify。SowearegoingtobeseechThee,OLord,tolayThymightyhanduponthemanwhogotmadthisbeautifulmorningandmakehimfeelThymight,untilhewillknowforhimselfandnotanother,thatYouarenotamyth。Teachhimtohaveapleasantcountenance,anopendoor,andtoholdhistemper。Helphimtocomeovertoourhouseandbefriendlywithallhisneighbours,andgetalltheblessingsYouhaveprovidedforeveryone;butpleasedon’tmakehimhaveanymoretroublethanhehasnow,forifYoudo,You’llsurelykillhim。Havepatiencewithhim,andhavemercyonhim,OLord!Letuspray。“
  ThattimeIprayedmyself。IlookedintotheskyjustasstraightandasfarasIcouldsee,andifIhadanyinfluenceatall,Iuseditthen。Rightoutloud,IjustbeggedtheLordtogetafterMr。Pryorandmakehimbehavelikeotherpeople,andletthePrincesscometoourhouse,andforhimtocometoo;
  becauseIlikedhimheapswhenhewaslionhunting,andIwantedtogowithhimagaintheworstway。Ihadseenhimsailrightoverthefencesonhisbigblackhorse,andwhenhediditinEngland,wearingaredcoat,andthedogsflewoverthickaroundhim,itmusthavelookedgrand,butitwasmightyhardonthefox。Idohopeitgotaway。Anyway,IprayedashardasI
  could,andeverytimeIsaidthestrongestthingIknew,I
  punchedBobbytocrow,andhenevercameoutstronger。ThenI
  wasSisterDoverandstarted:“Ohcomeletusgatheratthefountain,thefountainthatnevergoesdry。“
  JustasIwasgoingtopronouncethebenedictionlikefather,I
  heardsomething,soIlookedaround,andtherewentheandDr。
  Fenner。Theyweregoingtowardthehouse,andyet,theyhadn’tpassedme。Iwasnotscared,becauseIknewnoonewassick。
  Dr。Fenneralwaysstoppedwhenhepassed,ifhehadaminute,andifhehadn’t,mothersentsomeonetothegatewithbuttermilkandslicesofbreadandbutter,andjellyaninchthick。Whenamealwasalmostcookedsheheapedsomeonaplateandheateashedroveandlefttheplatenexttimehepassed。Oftenhewassodeadtired,hewasasleepinhisbuggy,andhisoldgrayhorsealwaysstoppedatourgate。
  Iendedwith“Amen,“becauseIwantedtoknowiftheyhadbeenlistening;soIclimbedthefence,randownthelanebehindthebushes,andhidaminute。Sureenoughtheyhad!IsupposeIhadbeensoinearnestIhadn’theardasound,butit’sawonderHezekiahhadn’ttoldme。Hewasalwaysseeingsomethingtomakedangersignalsabout。Heneverletmerunonasnake,orahawkgetoneofthechickens,orPaddyRyancometooclose。Ionlywantedtoknowiftheyhadgoneandlistened,andthenIintendedtorunstraightbacktoBobbyandHezekiah;buttheystoppedunderthegreeningappletree,andwhattheysaidwassointerestingIwaitedlongerthanIshould,becauseit’sabouttheworstthingyoucandotolistenwhenolderpeopledon’tknow。
  Theyweretalkingaboutme。
  “Ican’taccountforher,“saidfather。
  “Ican!“saidDr。Fenner。“SheistheonlychildIeverhavehadinmypracticewhomanagedtoreachearthasallchildrenshould。
  Duringtheimpressionablestage,nooneexpectedher,sotherewasnotimespentinworrying,fretting,anddiscontent。Idon’tmeanthatthesethingswerecustomarywithRuth。Nowomaneveracceptedmotherhoodinamorebeautifulspirit;butifshewouldhaveprotestedatanytime,itwouldhavebeenthen。Instead,shelivedhappily,naturally,andenjoyedherselfassheneverhadbefore。Shewasinthefields,thewoods,andthegardenconstantly,whichaccountsforthischild’soutdoortendencies。
  Thenyoumustrememberthatbothofyouwereattopnotchintellectually,andphysically,fullymatured。Shehadthebenefitofripenedminds,andatatimewheneveryfacultyrecentlyhadbeenstirredbytheexcitementandsufferingofthewar。Oh,youcanaccountforhereasilyenough,butIdon’tknowwhatonearthyouaregoingtodowithher。You’llhavetogocareful,Paul。Iwarnyoushewillnotbeliketheothers。“
  “Werealizethat。Mothersaysshedoubtsifshecaneverteachhertosewandbecomeahousewife。“
  “Sheisn’tcutoutforaseamstressorahousewife,Paul。TellRuthnottotrytoforcethosethingsonher。Turnherlooseoutofdoors;givehergoodbooks,andleaveheralone。Youwon’tbedisappointedinthewomanwhoevolves。“
  RightthereIrealizedwhatIwasdoing,andIturnedandranforthepulpitwithallmymight。Icouldalwaysrepeatthings,butIcouldn’tseemuchsensetothefirstpartofthat;thelastwasasplainasthenoseonyourface。Dr。Fennersaidtheymustn’tforcemetosew,anddohousework;andmotherdidn’tmindtheAlmightyanybetterthanshedidthedoctor。TherewasnothinginthisworldIdislikedsomuchasbeingkeptindoors,andmadetohemcapandapronstringssoparticularlythatIhadtocountthenumberofthreadsbetweeneverystitch,andineachstitch,sothatIgotallofthemjustexactlyeven。Ilikedcarpetragsalittlebetter,becauseIdidn’thavetobesoparticularaboutstitches,andIalwayspickedoutallthebright,prettycolours。
  Mothersaidshecouldfollowmyworkalloverthefloorbythebrightspots。PerhapsifIwerenottobekeptinthehouseI
  wouldn’thavetosewanymore。ThatmademesohappyIwonderedifIcouldn’tstretchoutmyarmsandwavethemandfly。IsatonthepulpitwishingIhadfeathers。Itmademeprettybluetohavetostayonthegroundallthetime,whenIwantedtobesailingupamongthecloudswiththeturkeybuzzards。ItcalledtomymindthatplaceinMcGuffey’sFifthwhereitsays:
  “Sweetbird,thybowerisevergreen,Thyskyiseverclear;
  Thouhastnosorrowinthysong,Nowinterinthyyear。“
  Ofcourse,Ineverheardaturkeybuzzardsing。Laddiesaidtheycouldn’t;butthatdidn’tproveit。Hesaidhalfthemembersofourchurchcouldn’tsing,buttheyDID;andwhenallofthemweregoingatthetopsoftheirvoices,itwasjustgrand。Somaybetheturkeybuzzardcouldsingifitwantedto;seemedasifitshould,ifIsaacThomascould;andanyway,itwasthenextverseIwasthinkingmostabout:
  “Oh,couldIfly,I’dflywiththee!
  We’dmakewithjoyfulwing,Ourannualvisito’ertheglobe,Companionsofthespring。“