首页 >出版文学> LADDIE>第38章

第38章

  ImadeupmymindthatitwasofenoughimportancetocallforthebiggestprayerIcouldthinkofandthatIwouldgoupinthebarntothetopwindow,standonabeam,andturnmyfacetotheeast,whereJesususedtobe,andI’dwrestlewiththeLordforfreedom,asJacobwrestledwiththeAngelonthebanksoftheJabbokinthelandofAmmon。IwasjustgettingupsteamtoprayashardaseverIcould;fordaysI’dbeenthinkingofit,andI
  wasnearlytothepointwhereonemorekilldeercryingacrosstheskywouldhavesentmeheadlongfromtheschoolhouseanywherethatmyfeetwereonearth,andtheairdidn’tsmelloffriedpotatoes,kraut,sweat,anddogs,likeitdidwheneveryousatbesideClarissaPolk。WhenIwenttosupperonenight;fatherhadbeentoGroveville,andhewasbusyoverhispapers。Afterhefinishedtheblessing,heseemedworried,atlasthesaidthefundswereallout,andthecountywouldmakenoappropriationsoschoolwouldhavetoclosenextweek。
  Wellthatbeatsme!IhadfaithinthatprayerIwasgoingtomake,andheretheverythingIintendedtoaskforhappenedbeforeIprayed。IdecidedIwouldsavetheprayeruntilthenexttimeIcouldn’tstandanythinganotherminute,andthenI
  wouldtryitwithallmymight,andseeifitreallydidanygood。AftersupperIwentoutthebackdoor,spreadmyarmswide,andrandowntheorchardtothefenceingreatbounds,thefastestIeverwentinmylife。Iclimbedmypulpitinthecornerandtriedtoseehowmuchairmylungswouldholdwithoutbursting,whileIwavedmyarmsandshoutedatthetopofmyvoice:“PraiseyetheLord!PraisedbeHisholyname!“
  “Ker-awk!“criedanoldblueheronamongthecowslipsbelowme。
  Ihadalmostscaredittodeath,anditaroseonflappingwingsandpaidmebackbyfrighteningmesoIscreamedasIdodgeditsshadow。
  “Whatisallthis?“askedfatherbehindme。
  “Comeupandtakeaseat,andI’lltrytotellyou,“Isaid。
  Sohesteppedonmypulpitandsatonthetoprail,whileIstoodbetweenhisknees,putmyarmsaroundhisneck,tookoffhishatandloosenedhishairsothewindcouldwaveit,andmakehisheadfeelcoolandgood。Hishaircurledalittleanditwasblackandfine。Hischeekswerepinkandhiseyesthebrightestblue,withlonglashes,andheavierbrowsthananyothermanI
  everhaveseen。Hewasthebestlooking——alwayssocleanandfresh,andyouneverhadtobeafraidofhim,unlessyouhadbeenabad,sinfulchild。Ifyouwereallright,youwouldwalkintohisarms,playwithhishair,kisshimallyoupleased,andtherewasn’tathingonearthyoucouldn’ttellhim,exceptingasecretyouhadpromisedtokeep。
  SoIexplainedallthis,andmoretoo。AbouthowIwantedtohuntfortheflowers,toseewhichbloomedfirst,andwatchinwhatorderthebirdscame,andnowitwasasplendidtimetolocatenests,becausetherewerenoleaves,soIcouldseeeasily,andhowgladmotherwouldbetoknowwherethebluegoosenested,andherwhiteturkeyhen;becauseshewantedhergeeseallblue,andtheturkeysallwhite,asfastasshecouldmanage。
  EverylittlethingthattroubledmeorthatIwanted,Itoldhim。
  Hesatthereandhecouldn’thavelistenedwithmoreinterestorbeenquieterifIhadbeenabishop,whichisthebiggestthingthateverhappenedatourhouse;hisnamewasNindeandhecamefromChicagotodedicateourchurchwhenitwasnew。Sofatherlistenedandthoughtandheldhisarmsaroundme,and——
  “AndyouthinktheLordwasatthebottomofthethingthatmakesyouhappy?“
  “Well,youalwaysgotoHimaboutwhatconcernsyou,andyousay,`PraisetheLord,’whenthingsgotopleaseyou。“
  “Idoindeed!“saidfather。“ButIhadthoughtofthisrunningshortofschoolfundsasacalamity。IfIhadbeenprayingaboutit,IwouldhaveaskedHimtoshowmeawaytoraisemoneytocontinueuntilmiddleMayatleast。“
  “Ohfather!“
  Ijustcrumpledupinhisarmsandbegantocry;tosavemeI
  couldn’thelpit。Heheldmetight。Atlasthesaid:“Ithinkyouarealittleoverstrainedthisspring。Maybeyouweresickerthanweknew,oraregrowingtoofast。Don’tworryanymoreaboutschool。Possiblyfathercanfixit。“
  NextmorningwhenIwakened,myeverydayclotheslayacrossthefootofthebed,soIcalledmotherandaskedifIshouldputthemon;shetookmeinherarms,andsaidfatherthoughtIhadbetterbeintheopen,andIneedn’tgotoschoolanymorethatspring。ItoldherIthoughtIcouldbearitafewmoredays,nowitwasgoingtobeoversosoon;butshesaidImightstayathome,fatherandLaddiewouldhearmeatnight,andIcouldtakemybooksanywhereIpleasedandstudywhenIchose,ifIhadmyspellingandreadinglearnedatevening。NOW,saytheLorddoesn’thelpthosewhocallonHiminfaithbelieving!
  Thinkofbeingallowedtolearnyourlessonsonthetopofthegranary,whereyoucouldlookoutofawindowabovethetreetops,lieinthecoolwind,andwatchswallowsandmartins。Thinkofstudyinginthepulpitwhenthecreekranhigh,andthewildbirdssangsosweetlyyouseemedtohearthemforthefirsttimeinallyourlife,andhens,guineas,andturkeysmadeprimemusicintheorchard。Youcouldseethebudsswell,andthelittleblueflagspushthroughthegrass,whereMrs。Mayerhadherflowerbed,andthecowslipsgreeningunderthewateroftheswaleatthefootofthehill,whiletheremightbeaFairyunderanyleaf。Iwassofull,soswelledupandexcited,thatwhenIgotreadytopickupabook,Icouldlearnalessoninafewminutes,tellallaboutit,spelleveryword,andreaditback,front,andsideways。Ineverlearnedlessonssoquickandsoeasyinallmylife;father,Laddie,andeveryoneofthemhadtosayso。Onenight,fathersaidtoLaddie:“Thischildisfurnishingevidencethatourschoolsystemiswrong,andourmethodsofteachingfarfromright。“
  “Orisitmerelyproofthatsheisdifferent,“saidLaddie,“andyoucan’trunherthroughthesamegrooveyoucouldtherestofus?“
  “Alittleofboth,“saidfather,“butmostthatthesystemiswrong。Wearenotgoingatchildreninawaytogainandholdtheirinterest,andmakethemlovetheirwork。Theremustbeabetterwayofteaching,andweshouldfinddifferentteachers。
  You’llhavetotrytheschoolnextyearyourself,Laddie。“
  “IhavealittleplanaboutapieceoflandIamhopingtotakebeforethen,“answeredLaddie。“It’stimeformetotrymywingsatmakingaliving,andlandismychoice。Ihavefullydecided。
  Isticktothesoil!“
  “Amen!“criedfather。“Youpleasememightily。Ihatetoseesonsofminethrivingonlaw,literallymakingtheirlivingoutofthefruitofothermen’sdiscord。Idislikeseeingthemsharpentheirwitsintrade,buyingatthelowestlimit,extortingthehighest。Idon’twanttheirhorizonslimitedbycityblocks,theirfeetonpavements,everythingunderthesunintheirheadsthatconcernsaschemetomakemoney;notroomforanhour’sthoughtorstudyinawholeday,aboutthereallyvitalthingsoflife。Afterall,landanditsproductsarethebasisofeverything;thecitycouldn’texistadayunlesswefeedandclotheit。InthethingsthatIconsiderimportant,youareakingamongmen,withyourfeetonsoilyouown。“
  “SoIfigureit,“saidLaddie。
  “AndyouarethebesteducatedmanIhavereared,“saidfather。
  “Takethisotherthoughtwithyou:onland,thefailureofthebankdoesnotbreakyou。Thefireanotherman’scarelessnessstarts,doesnotwipeoutyourbusinessorhome。Youarenotineasyreachofcontagion。Anytimeyouwanttobranchout,yourmotherandIwillstandbackofyou。“
  “Thankyou!“saidLaddie。“Youbackednoneoftheothers。Theywouldresentit。I’llmakethebeststartIcanmyself,andastheydid,standalone。“
  Fatherlookedathimandsmiledslowly。
  “Youareright,asalways,“hesaid。“Ihadn’tthoughtsofar。
  Itwouldmaketrouble。Atanyrate,letmeinspectandhelpyouselectyourland。“
  “Thatofcourse!“saidLaddie。
  Isuspectit’snotaverynicethingformetotell,butallofusweretickledsillythedayMissAmeliapackedhertrunkandleftforsure。Mothersaidshenevertriedharderinallherdays,butMissAmeliawasthemostdistinctlyunlovablepersonsheeverhadmet。Shesympathizedwithusso,sheneversaidawordwhenLeonsang:
  “Believeme,ifallthoseendearingyoungcharms,WhichIgazeonsofondlyto-day,Weretochangebyto-morrow,andfleetinmyarms,Likefairy-giftsfadingaway,Thouwouldststillbeadored,asthismomentthouart,Letthylovelinessfadeasitwill,AndaroundthedearruineachwishofmyheartWouldentwineitselfverdantlystill——“
  whileMissAmeliadrovefromsightuptheGrovevilleroad。
  AshesangLeonstretchedouthisarmsafterhervanishingform。
  “Ihope,“hesaid,“thatyoucaughtthattouchingreferenceto`thedearruin,’andcouldanythingbeexpressedmorebeautifullyandpoeticallythanthat`verdantlystill?’“
  Ifeelsorryforasnake。Ilikehoptoads,owls,andshitepokes。
  Ienvyabuzzardthewayitcanfly,andpolecatsarebeautiful;
  butInevercouldgetupanysortoffeelingatallforMissAmelia,whethershewasbirdlikeorhertrueself。SonoonewasanygladderthanIwhenshewasgone。
  Afterthat,springcamepushinguntilyoufeltshoved。Ourfamilyneededmethen。Iftheyneverhadknownitbefore,theyfoundouttherewasnonetoomanyofus。EverydayIhadtowatchthebluegoose,andbringinhereggbeforeitwaschilled,carryingitcarefullysoitwouldnotbejarred。Ihadtohunttheturkeynestsandgathertheireggssotheywouldberightforsetting。Therehadtobestrawcarriedfromthestackfornewnests,eggsmarked,andhenssetbythedozen。Gardentimecame,soleaveshadtoberakedfromthebedsandfromthedooryard。
  NoonewasbusierthanI;buteverylittlewhileIranaway,andspentsometimeallbymyselfinthepulpit,underthehawkoak,orontheroof。
  ComingfromchurchthatSunday,whenwereachedthetopoftheBigHill,mothertouchedfather’sarm。“Stopaminute,“shesaid,andhecheckedthehorses,whilewesatthereandwonderedwhy,asshelookedandlookedalloverthefarm,then,“NowdrivetothetopoftheLittleHillandturn,andstopexactlyontheplacefromwhichwefirstviewedthislandtogether,“shesaid。
  “Youknowthespot,don’tyou?“
  “YoumaywellbelieveIknowit,“saidfather。“Icanhitittotheinch。Yousee,children,“hewenton,“yourmotherandI
  arrangedbeforethewordsweresaidoverus“——healwaysputitthatway——Ineverinmylifeheardhimsay,“whenweweremarried“;hereadsomanybookshetalkedexactlylikeabook——
  “thatwewouldbepartnersineverything,aslongaswelived。
  WhenwedecidedtheOhiolandwasnotquitewhatwewanted,shesentmefartherwesttoprospect,whileshestayedathomeandkeptthebaby。WhenIreachedthisland,founditforsale,andwithinmymeans,Iboughtit,andstartedhomehappy。BeforeI’dgoneamile,Iturnedtolookback,andsawthatitwashilly,mostlywoods,andtherewasnocomputingtheamountofworkitwouldrequiretomakeitwhatIcouldseeinit;soIbegantothinkmaybeshewouldn’tlikeit,andtowishIhadbroughther,beforeIclosedthedeal。BythetimeIreturnedhome,packedup,andtravelledthisfaronthewaybackwithher,therewasconsiderabletensioninmyfeelings——considerabletension,“
  repeatedfatherasheturnedthehorsesandbegandrivingcarefully,measuringthedistancefromHoods’andthebridge。Atlasthestopped,backedastep,andsaid:“There,mommy,didI
  hitthespot?“
  “Youdid!“saidmother,steppingfromthecarriageandwalkingupbesidehim。Sheraisedonehandandlaiditonthelampnearhim。Heshiftedthelines,pickedupherhand,andheldittight。Motherstoodtherelooking,justsilentlylooking。Mayjabbedmeintheside,leanedoverandwhispered:
  “CouldwebutstandwhereMosesstood,Andviewthelandscapeo’er,NotourLittleCreek,nordinnergettingcold,Couldfrightusfromthatshore。“
  Icouldn’thelpgiggling,butIknewthatwasnopropertime,soIhidmyheadinherlapandsmotheredthesoundthebestI
  could;buttheyweresobusysoft-sodderingeachothertheydidn’tpayabitofattentiontous。
  ItwasMaynow,alltheleaveswerefreshanddustless,everythingthatfloweredatthattimewasweightedwithbloom,beeshummedpast,butterfliessailedthroughthecarriage,whilebirdsatthetopsoftheirvoices,allofthem,everykindtherewas,sangfittosplit;friendly,unafraidbluebirdsdartedaroundus,andtalkedabluestreakfromeveryfencerider。Madeyoualmostcrazytoknowwhattheysaid。TheLittleCreekflowedatourfeetacrosstheroad,throughtheblue-flagswamp,wheretheredandtheyellowbirdslived。YoucouldseethesunflashonthewaterwhereitemptiedintothestreamthatcrossedDeams’,andflowedthroughourpasture;andawaybeyondtheBigHillarose,withthenewchurchontop,thegraveyardaroundit,theBigCreekflashingatitsbase。Inthevalleybetweenlayourfields,meadows,thebigredbarn,thewhitehousewiththeyardfilledwithtreesandfloweringshrubs,beyonditthegarden,allmadeup,neatandgrowing;andbackofittheorchardinfullbloom。
  Motherlookedandlooked。Suddenlysheraisedherfacetofather。“Paul,“shesaid,“thatfirstday,didyoueverdreamitcouldbemadetolooklikethis?“
  “No!“saidfather。“Ineverdid!Isawhouses,barns,andclearedfields;Ihopedforcomfortandprosperity,butIdidn’tknowanyplacecouldgrowtobesobeautiful,andthereissomethingaboutit,evenonarainyNovemberday,thereissomethingthatcatchesmeinthebreast,onthetopofeitherofthesehills,untilitalmoststiflesme。Whatisit,Ruth?“
  “TheHomeFeeling!“saidmother。“ItisinmyheartsobigthismorningIamfilledwithworship。Justfilledwiththespiritofworship。“
  ShewasrockingonhertoeslikeshedoeswhenshebecomestoohappyattheMeetingHousetobequietanylonger,andcries,“Glory!“rightoutloud。Shepointedtotheorchard,animmenseorchardofbigappletreesinfullbloom,withtworowsofpeachtreesaroundthesides。Itlookedlikeagreat,soft,pinkishwhiteblanket,withadeeppinkborder,spreadlightlyonthegreenearth。
  “Weplantedthatwaybecausewethoughtitwasbest;howcouldweknowhowitwouldlookinbloomtime?Itseemsasifyoucametothesehilltopsandfiguredonthepictureyouwouldmakebeforeyoucleared,orfencedafield。“
  “That’sexactlywhatIdid,“saidfather。“Many’sthehour,alltold,thatIhavestoppedmyhorseononeofthesehilltopsandstudiedhowtomaketheplacebeautiful,aswellasproductive。
  Thatwasataskyousetme,mygirl。YoualwaysconsideredBEAUTYaswellasUSEaboutthehouseandgarden,andwhereveryouworked。Ihadtoholdmypartinline。“
  “Youhavemadeitallagarden,“saidmother。“YouhavemadeitagardengrowingunderthesmileoftheMaster;averygardenoftheLord,father。“
  Fatherdrewupherhandandheldittightagainsthisheart。
  “Yourpraiseissweet,mygirl,sweet!“hesaid。“Ihavetried,GodknowsIhavetried,tomakeitfirstcomfortable,thenbeautiful,forallofus。TothedepthsofmysoulIthankHimforthishour。Iamglad,OhIamsogladyoulikeyourhome,Ruth!Icouldn’tendureitifyoucomplained,foundfaultandwishedyoulivedelsewhere。“
  “Why,father!“saidmymotherinthemostsurprisedvoice。“Why,father,itwouldkillmetoleavehere。Thisisours。WehavemadeitbyandthroughthestrengthoftheLordandourloveforeachother。AllmydaysIwanttolivehere,andwhenIdie,I
  wanttoliebesidemyblessedbabiesandyou,Paul,downbythechurchwegavethelandfor,andworkedsohardtobuild。Iloveit,OhIloveit!Seehowcleanandwhitethedarkevergreensmakethehouselook!Seehowthebigchestnutsfitinandpointouttheyellowroad。Iwishwehadarowthelengthofit!“
  “Theywouldn’tgrow,“saidfather。“YoumindthetimeIhadfindingtheplacethosewantedtosettheirfeet?“
  “Idoindeed!“saidmother,drawingherhandandhiswithitwhereshecouldrubhercheekagainstit。“Nowwe’llgohomeandhaveourdinnerandagoodrest。I’mahappywomanthisday,father,ahappy,happywoman。Ifonlyonethingdidn’tworryme——“
  “Musttherealwaysbea`flyintheointment,’mother?“
  Shelookedathimwithasmilethatwaslikeahugandkiss,andshesaid:“Ihavefounditso,father,andIhavebeenhappyinspiteofit。Whereonehassuchwideinterests,atsomepointthereisalwaysapull,butinHisownday,inHisownway,theLordisgoingtomakeeverythingright。“
  “`Thyfaithhathmadetheewhole,’“quotedfather。