Afterallthat,whenItriedtotellLeonhowitfelt,hejustcriedlikeababy,andhewouldn’tlistentoaword,evenwhenhe’dwantedtoknowsobadly。HesaidifIhadn’tcomeback,he’dhavegonetothebarnandusedtheswingropeonhimself,soitwasagoodthingIdid,foronefuneralwouldhavecostenough,whenweneededmoneysobadly,nottomentionhowmotherwouldhavefelttohavetwoofusgoatonce,likeshehadbefore。Andanyway,itdidn’tamounttosoawfulmuch。Itwasprettybadatfirst,butitdidn’tlastlong,andthenextdaymyneckwasonlyalittleblueandstiff,andinthreedaysitwasallover,onlyaroughplacewheretheropegrainedtheskinasI
wentdown;butInevergottotellLeonhowitfelt;Ijustcouldn’ttalkhimintohearing,anditwasquiteinterestingtoo;
butstillIeasilysawwhythemaninthepaperwouldobjecttodyingtwice,topayforkillinganothermanonce。
Whentheappleswerepickedandthecabbage,beets,turnips,andpotatoeswereburied,somecorndriedinthegarretfornewmeal,pumpkinsputinthecellar,thefieldcornallhusked,andthebutcheringdone,fathersaidtheworkwasinsuchfineshape,withLaddietohelp,andtherewassomuchmorecornthanheneededforus,andthepricewassohigh,andtheturkeysdidsowell,andeverything,thathecouldpaybackwhatmotherhelpedhim,andhavequiteasumover。
ItwasThanksgivingbythattime,andallofWinfield’s,Lucy’s,SallyandPeter,andourboyscamehome。Wehadabigtime,allbutShelley;itwastooexpensiveforhertocomesofarforoneday,butmothersentheraboxwithawholeturkeyforherselfandherfriends;andcake,popcorn,nuts,andjusteverythingthatwasn’ttoodrippy。Shelleywrotesuchlovelylettersthatmothersavedthemandafterwehadeatenasmuchdinneraswecould,shereadthembeforeweleftthetable。
Ihadheardmostofthem,butIlikedtolistenagain,becausetheysoundedsohappy。YoucouldhearShelleylaughoneverypage。ShetoldabouthowPeter’scousinwaswaitingwhenthetrainstopped。Theycouldn’troomtogetherrightaway,buttheyweregoingtothefirstchancetheyhad。Shelleyfeltbadlybecausetheyweresofarapart,butshewasinaniceplace,whereshecouldgowithothergirlsoftheschooluntilshelearnedtheway。Shetoldaboutherroomandthewomansheboardedwithandwhatshehadtoeat;shewrotemothernottoworryaboutclothes,becausemostoftheotherswerefromthecountry,orsmalltowns,andgettingreadytoteach,andlotsofthemdidn’thaveNEARLYasmanyorasprettydressesasshedid。
Shetoldaboutthebigbuilding,theclasses,theprofessors,andofgoingtopublicrecitalswheresomeofthepupilswhoknewenoughplayed;andshewasworkingherfingersalmosttothebone,soshecouldnextyear。Shetoldofpeopleshemet,andhowoneoftheteacherstookanumberofgirlsinhisclasstoseeagreatpicturegallery。ShewrotepagesaboutayoungChicagolawyershemetthere,andonlyafewlinesaboutthepictures,sofathersaidasthatwasthebestcollectionofartworkinChicago,itwaseasyenoughtoseethatShelleyhadbeenfarmoreimpressedwiththemanthanshehadbeenwiththepictures。Mothersaidshedidn’tseehowhecouldsayathinglikethataboutthechild。Ofcourseshecouldn’ttellinaletterabouthundredsofpictures,butitwaseasyenoughtotellallaboutaman。
Fathergotsortofspunkyatthat,andhesaiditwasmightylittlethatmatteredmost,thatcouldbetoldaboutaChicagolawyer;andmotherhadbettercautionShelleytothinkmoreaboutherwork,andwritelessoftheman。Mothersaidthatwouldstopthechild’sconfidencescompletelyandshe’dthinkallthetimeabouttheman,andnevermentionhimagain,soshewouldn’tknowwhatWASgoingon。ShesaidshewasgladShelleyhadfoundpleasing,refinedfriends,andshe’dencourageherallshecouldincultivatingthem;butofcourseshe’dcautionhertobecareful,andshe’dtellherwhatthedangerwas,andafterthatShelleywroteandwrote。Motherdidn’talwaysreadtheletterstous,butsheansweredeveryoneshegotthatsamenight。
Sometimesshepushedthepensoshejabbedthepaper,andoftenshesmiledorlaughedsoftly。
IlikedThanksgiving。Wealwayshadahousefullofcompany,andtheydidn’tstayuntilweweretiredofthem,astheydidatChristmas,andtherewasasmuchtoeat;theonlydifferencewasthattherewerenopresents。Itwasn’tnearlysomuchworktofixforonedayasitwasforaweek;soitwasn’tsohardonmotherandCandace,andfatherdidn’thavetospendmuchmoney。
Wewerewearingallourclothesfromlastfallthatwecould,andourcoatsfromlastwintertohelpout,butwedidn’tcare。Wehadalotoffun,andwewantedSallyandShelleytohavefinedresses,becausetheywereinbigcitieswheretheyneededthem,andindueseason,nodoubt,wewouldhavemuchmorethanthey,because,asMayfiguredit,therewouldbeonlyafewofusbythattime,sowecouldhavemoretospend。Thatlookedsensible,andIthoughtitwouldbethatway,too。Weweretalkingitovercomingfromschooloneevening,andwhenwehadsettledit,webegantoplay“DipandFade。“Thatwasagamewemadeupfrombeingatchurch,andfallandspringweretheonlytimeswecouldplayit,becausethentherainsfilledalltheditchesbesidetheroadwherethedirtwasploweduptomakethebedhigher,andwehadtohavethewatertodipinandfadeover。
Weplayeditlikethat,becauseitwasasnearaswecouldcometoworkingoutasongIsaacThomassangeverytimehegothappy。
Hehadalotofchildrenathome,andmorewhohaddied,frombeinghalf-fedandfrozen,motherthought;andhewasalwaystalkingaboutmeetingthe“poreinnocents“inHeaven,andsingingthatonesong。Everytimehemadeexactlythesamespeechinmeeting。Itbeganlikerecitingpoetry,onlyitdidn’trhyme,butitsortofcutoffinlines,andIsaacwavedbackandforthonhisfeet,andhalfsungit,andtheragswavedtoo,butyoujustcouldn’tfeelanythrillsofearnestnessaboutwhathesaid,becauseheneededwashing,andtogotoworkandgethimsomeclothesandfoodtofillouthisframe。Heonlylookedfunny,andmadeyouwanttolaugh。IttookEmanuelRipleytoraiseyourhair。Idon’tknowwhymenlikemyfather,andtheminister,andJohnDoverstoodit;theytalkedoveraskingIsaactokeepquietnumbersoftimes,buttheministersaidtherewerepeoplelikethatineverychurch,theyalwayscameamongtheLord’sanointed,anditwasbettertopluckoutyourrighteyethantooffendoneofthem,andhewasdoubtfulaboutdoingit。SowechildrenallknewthatthegrownpeoplescarcelycouldstandIsaac’sspeech,andprayer,andsong,andthattheywereafraidtotellhimplainoutthathedidmoreharmthangood。EverymeetingaboutthethirdmanupwasIsaac,andwehadtowatchhimwave,andrant,andgosing-songy:
“Ohbretheringandsistering——ah,Itdelightsmyheart——ahtogatherwithyou,Inthisholyhouseofworship——ah。
Inhissacredword——ah,TheLord——ahtellsus,Thatweareallhischildring——ah。
Andnow,lemmeexhortyouto-night——ah,Asonethatlovesyou——ah,Tochoosethatgoodpart,thatMarychose——ah,Thattheworrrr-uldkinneithergivenertakeaway——ah。“
Thatwentonuntilhewashoarse,thenheprayed,andaroseandsanghissong。Othermenspokewheretheystood。Isaacalwayswalkedtothealtar,facedthepeople,andhewastiredoutwhenhefinished,butsoproudofhimself,sohappy,andhefeltsosurethathiseffortswereworthawarmbed,sausage,pancakes,maplesyrup,andcoffeeforbreakfast,thatitwasmightyseldomhefailedtofoolsomeoneelseintothinkingsotoo,andifhecould,hewouldn’thavetowalkfourmileshomeoncoldnights,withnoovercoat。Insummer,mostly,theylethimgo。Isaacalwayswasfattestinwinter,especiallyduringrevivals,butatanytimemothersaidhelookedlikeasheep’scarcassafterthebuzzardshadpickedit。Itcouldbeseenthathewasperfectlystrong,andcouldhavefedandclothedhimself,andMandyandthechildren,quiteaswellasourfatherdidus,ifhehadwantedtowork,forwehadthebiggestfamilyoftheneighbourhood。Sowechildrenmadefunofhimandwehadtoholdourmouthsshutwhenhegotupalltiredandteary-like,andbegantoquaver:
“Manydearchildurnweknowdewstan’
Untoontherharpsinthebetterlan’,Therlittlehansfrumeachsoundin’string,Bringmusicsweet,wiletheAngulssing,Bringmusicsweet,wiletheAngulssing,——
Weshellmeetthemaginonthatshore,Weshellmeetthemaginonthatshore,Withfairerface,unangelgrace,Eachlovedunullwelcomeusther。
“Theyustermournwhenthechildurndied,Unsaidgoo-byeattheriverside,Theydippedtherfeetintheglidin’stream,Unfadedaway,likealovelidream,Unfadedawaylikealovelidream。“
Thenthechorusagain,andthenIsaacdroppedonthefrontseatexhausted,andstayedthereuntilsomegood-heartedwoman,mostlymymother,feltsosorryabouthisshiftlessnesssheaskedhimtogohomewithusandwarmedandfedhim,andputhiminthetraveller’sbedtosleep。Thewayweplayeditwasthis:westoodtogetherattheedgeofaroadsidepuddleandsangthefirstverseandthechorusexactlyasIsaacdid。ThenIsangthesecondverse,andMaywasoneofthe“manydearchildurn,“andasIcametothelinesshedippedherfeetinthe“glidin’stream,“
andfor“fadingaway,“shejumpedacross。
NowMaywasacarefullittlesoul,andalwayswatchedwhatshewasdoing,soshewalkedupashortway,choseagoodplace,andwhenIsangtheline,shewasalmostbirdlike,shedippedandfadedsogracefully。Thenwelaughedlikedunces,andthenMaybegantoswayandswing,anddronethroughhernoseforme,andI
wassoexcitedIneverlooked。Ijustdippedandfadedonthespot。Ifadedallrighttoo,forIcouldn’tjumpnearlyacross,andwhenIlandedinpureclaythathadbeencoveredwithwaterforthreeweeks,Iwentdowntomykneesinmud,tomywaistinwater,andlostmybalanceandfellbackward。
Amanpassingonhorsebackpriedmeoutwitharailandhelpedmehome。Ofcoursehedidn’tknowhowIhappenedtofallin,andI
wastoochilledtotalk。InoticedMayonlysaidIfell,soI
wenttobedscorchedinsidewithredpeppertea,andnevertoldawordaboutdippingandfading。LeonwhisperedandsaidhebetitwasthelasttimeIwouldplaythat,soassoonasmycoatanddresswerewashedanddried,andIcouldgobacktoschool,Ididitagain,justtoshowhimIwasnocowardy-calf;butIhadlearnedfromMaytochooseapuddleIcouldmanagebeforeI
faded。
CHAPTERIX
“EvenSo“
“AllthingswhatsoeveryewouldThatmenshoulddotoyou,Doyeevensotothem。“
Ourbiggirlsandboysalwaysmadeadreadfulfussandsaidwewouldcatcheverydiseaseyoucouldmention,butmotherandfatherweresetaboutit,justlikethebigrocksinthehills。
Theysaidthey,themselves,oncehadbeenatthemercyofthepeople,andtheyknewhowitfelt。Mothersaidwhentheywerecominghereinawagon,andshehadriddenuntilshehadtowalktorestherfeet,andheldabigbabyuntilherarmsbecamesotiredshedrovewhilefathertookit,andwhenatlasttheysawahouseandstopped,shesaidifthewomanhadn’tinvitedherin,andlethercookonthestove,givenhermilkandeggs,andfurnishedherabedtosleepinonceinawhile,shecouldn’thavereachedhereatall;andsheneverhadbeenrefusedonce。
Thenshealwaysquoted:“Allthingswhatsoeveryewouldthatmenshoulddotoyou,doyeEVENSOtothem。“
Fathersaidthereweremenwhomadeabusinessofsplittinghairs,andoffindingdifferentmeaningsinalmosteverythingintheBible。Iwouldliketohaveseenanyonesplithairsaboutthat,oritmadetomeansomethingelse。OfallthethingsintheBiblethatyouhadtodobecauseitsaidto,whetheryoulikeditornot,thatwastheoneyoustruckoftenestinlifeandittookthehardestpulltoobey。Itwasjustthehatefulesttextofany,andmadeyousquirmmost。Therewasnopossiblewaytogetaroundit。Itmeant,thatifyoulikedasplinternewslate,andasharppencilallcoveredwithgoldpaper,tomakepicturesandwriteyourlessons,whenClarissaPolksatnextyouandsangsolowtheteachercouldn’thearuntilsheputherselftosleeponit,“IWISHTIhadaslate!IwishtIHADaslate!
IwishtIhadaSLATE!OhIWISHTIHADASLATE!“——itmeantthatyoujusthadtowashupyoursandstopmakingpicturesyourself,andpassitover;youevenhadtosmilewhenyouofferedit,ifyoudiditright。IseldomgotthroughitastheLordwould,foranyonewholoanedClarissaaslateknewthatitwouldcomebackwithgreasy,sweatyfingermarksonityoualmosthadtodigaholetowashoff,andyourpencilwouldbewet。Andifthereweretheleastflawofcrystalinthepencil,shefoundit,andboredownsohardthatwhatshewroteneverwouldcomeoff。
TheLordalwaysseemedbiggerandmoremajestictome,thanatanyothertime,whenIrememberedthatHecouldhaveknownallthat,andyetsmiledasHeloanedClarissaHisslate。AndthatoldBiblethingmeant,too,thatifyouwouldlikeitifyouweretravellingalongway,saytoCaliforniatohuntgold,orevenjusttoIndiana,tofindafarmfittoliveon——itmeantthatifyouweretired,hungry,andsore,andwouldwanttobetakeninandfedandrested,youhadtoletinotherpeoplewhentheyreachedyourhouse。Fatherandmotherhadbeenthroughitthemselves,andtheymusthavebeentiredascouldbe,beforetheyreachedSarahHood’sandshetookthemin,andrestedandfedthem,evenwhentheywereonlyashortwayfromthetopoftheLittleHill,wherenextmorningtheylookeddownandstoppedthewagon,untiltheychosetheplacetobuildtheirhouse。
SarahHoodcamealong,andhelpedmotherallday,sobynightshewassettledintheoldcabinthatwasontheland,andreadytogotoworkmakingmoneytobuildanewone,andthenabighouse,andfixthefarmallbeautifullikeitwasthen。Theyknewsowellhowitfelt,thattheykeptonebedintheboys’room,andanymanwhocameatduskgothissupper,tosleepthere,andhisbreakfast,andthereneverwasanythingtopay。Thegirlsalwaysscoldeddreadfullyabouttheextrawashing,butmothersaidshesleptonsheetswhenshecameout,andsomeonewashedthem。
OnetimeSallysaid:“Mother,haveyoueverfiguredouthowmanyhundredsheetsyou’vewashedsince,topayforthat?“
Mothersaid:“No,butIjusthopeitwillmakeastackhighenoughformetoclimbfromintoHeaven。“
Sallysaid:“ThetalkatthechurchalwaysledmetothinkthatyouflewtoHeaven。“
Motheranswered:“SoIgetthere,Idon’tmindifIcreep。“
ThenSallyknewitwastimetostop。Wealwaysknew。Andwestopped,too!
Wehadheardthat“Allthings“quotation,untilthefirsttwowordswereasmuchasmothereverneededrepeatofitanymore,andwehadcooked,washedfor,andwaitedonpeopletravelling,untilLeongotsowhenhesawanyonecoming——ofcourseweknewalltheneighbours,andtheirhorsesandwagonsandcarriages——healwayssaid:“Herecomesanother`EvenSo!’“Hesaidwehaddone“evenso“topeopleuntilitwasaboutourshare,butmothersaidoursharewasgoingtolastuntiltheLordsaid,“Welldone,goodandfaithfulservant,“andtookushome。Shehadmuchmoreaboutthestrangeratthegateandentertainingangelsunawares;
第23章