IhadastillmoredreadfulmomentwhenpresentlyImetmycousininthebrickalleybehindtheyard，thatledbacktohisgrocer’sshop。
　　“Yousneak！”Isaid，andsmackedhisfacehardforthwith。“Nowthen。”saidI。
　　Hestartedback，astonishedandalarmed。Hiseyesmetmine，andIsawasuddengleamofresolution。Heturnedhisothercheektome。
　　“’It’it。”hesaid。”’It’it。I’LLforgiveyou。”
　　IfeltIhadneverencounteredamoredetestablewayofevadingalicking。Ishovedhimagainstthewallandlefthimthere，forgivingme，andwentbackintothehouse。
　　“Youbetternotspeaktoyourcousins，George。”saidmyaunt，“tillyou’reinabetterstateofmind。”
　　Ibecameanoutcastforthwith。Atsupperthatnightagloomysilencewasbrokenbymycousinsaying“’E’itmefortellingyou，andIturnedtheothercheek，muvver。”
　　“’E’sgottheevilonebe’ind’imnow，aridin’on’isback。”
　　saidmyaunt，tothegravediscomfortoftheeldestgirl，whosatbesideme。
　　Aftersuppermyuncle，inafewill-chosenwords，prayedmetorepentbeforeIslept。
　　“Supposeyouwastookinyoursleep，George。”hesaid；“where’dyoubethen？Youjestthinkofthatmeboy。”BythistimeIwasthoroughlymiserableandfrightened，andthissuggestionunnervedmedreadfullybutIkeptupanimpenitentfront。“Towakein’ell。”saidUncleNicodemus，ingentletones。“Youdon’twanttowakein’ell，George，burnin’andscreamin’forever，doyou？
　　Youwouldn’tlikethat？”
　　Hetriedveryhardtogetmeto“jest’avealookatthebake’ousefire“beforeIretired。“Itmightmoveyou。”hesaid。
　　Iwasawakelongestthatnight。Mycousinsslept，thesleepoffaithoneithersideofme。IdecidedIwouldwhispermyprayers，andstoppedmidwaybecauseIwasashamed，andperhapsalsobecauseIhadanideaonedidn’tsquareGodlikethat。
　　“No。”Isaid，withasuddenconfidence，“damnmeifyou’recowardenough。Butyou’renot。No！Youcouldn’tbe！”
　　Iwokemycousinsupwithemphaticdigs，andtoldthemasmuch，triumphantly，andwentverypeacefullytosleepwithmyactoffaithaccomplished。
　　Isleptnotonlythroughthatnight，butforallmynightssincethen。SofarasanyfearofDivineinjusticegoes，Isleepsoundly，andshall，Iknow，totheendofthings。Thatdeclarationwasanepochinmyspirituallife。
　　ButIdidn’texpecttohavethewholemeetingonSundayturnedontome。
　　Itwas。Itallcomesbacktome，thatconvergenceofattention，eventhefaintleatherysmellofitsatmospherereturns，andthecoarsefeelofmyaunt’sblackdressbesidemeincontactwithmyhand。IseeagaintheoldWelshmilkman“wrestling“withme，theyallwrestledwithme，byprayerorexhortation。AndIwasholdingoutstoutly，thoughconvincednowbythecontagionoftheiruniversalconvictionthatbydoingsoIwascertainlyandhopelesslydamned。Ifeltthattheywereright，thatGodwasprobablylikethem，andthatonthewholeitdidn’tmatter。AndtosimplifythebusinessthoroughlyIhaddeclaredIdidn’tbelieveanythingatall。TheyconfutedmebytextsfromScripturewhichInowperceivewasanillegitimatemethodofreply。WhenIgothome，stillimpenitentandeternallylostandsecretlyverylonelyandmiserableandalarmed，UncleNicodemusdockedmySundaypudding。
　　Onepersononlyspoketomelikeahumanbeingonthatdayofwrath，andthatwastheyoungerFrapp。HecameuptomeintheafternoonwhileIwasconfinedupstairswithaBibleandmyownthoughts。
　　“’Ello。”hesaid，andfrettedabout。
　　“D’youmeantosaythereisn’t——noone。”hesaid，funkingtheword。
　　“Noone？”
　　“Noonewatchingyer——always。”
　　“Whyshouldtherebe？”Iasked。
　　“Youcan’t’elpthoughts。”saidmycousin，“anyhow。Youmean——“
　　Hestoppedhovering。“Is’poseIoughtn’ttobetalkingtoyou。”
　　Hehesitatedandflittedawaywithaguiltybackglanceoverhisshoulder。
　　Thefollowingweekmadelifequiteintolerableforme；thesepeopleforcedmeatlastintoanAtheismthatterrifiedme。WhenIlearntthatnextSundaythewrestlingwastoberesumed，mycouragefailedmealtogether。
　　IhappeneduponamapofKentinastationer’swindowonSaturday，andthatsetmethinkingofoneformofrelease。I
　　studieditintentlyforhalfanhourperhaps，onSaturdaynight，gotaroutelistofvillageswellfixedinmymemory，andgotupandstartedforBladesoveraboutfiveonSundaymorningwhilemytwobedmateswerestillfastasleep。
　　Iremembersomething，butnotsomuchofitasIshouldliketorecall，ofmylongtramptoBladesoverHouse。ThedistancefromChathamisalmostexactlyseventeenmiles，andittookmeuntilnearlyone。ItwasveryinterestingandIdonotthinkIwasveryfatigued，thoughIgotratherpinchedbyoneboot。
　　Themorningmusthavebeenveryclear，becauseIrememberthatnearItchinstowHallIlookedbackandsawtheestuaryoftheThames，thatriverthathassinceplayedsolargeapartinmylife。ButatthetimeIdidnotknowitwastheThames，I
　　thoughtthisgreatexpanseofmudflatsandwaterwasthesea，whichIhadneveryetseennearly。Andoutuponitstoodships，sailingshipsandasteamerorso，goinguptoLondonordownoutintothegreatseasoftheworld。IstoodforalongtimewatchingtheseandthinkingwhetherafterallIshouldnothavedonebettertohaverunawaytosea。
　　ThenearerIdrewtoBladesover，themoredoubtfulIgrewofthedualityofmyreception，andthemoreIregrettedthatalternative。IsupposeitwasthedirtyclumsinessoftheshippingIhadseennearly，thatputmeoutofmindofthat。I
　　tookashortcutthroughtheWarrenacrossthecornerofthemainparktointerceptthepeoplefromthechurch。IwantedtoavoidmeetinganyonebeforeImetmymother，andsoIwenttoaplacewherethepathpassedbetweenbanks，andwithoutexactlyhiding，stoodupamongthebushes。ThisplaceamongotheradvantageseliminatedanychanceofseeingLadyDrew，whowoulddriveroundbythecarriageroad。
　　StandinguptowaylayinthisfashionIhadaqueerfeelingofbrigandage，asthoughIwassomeintrusivesortofbanditamongtheseorderlythings。ItisthefirsttimeIrememberhavingthatoutlawfeelingdistinctly，afeelingthathasplayedalargepartinmysubsequentlife。IfeltthereexistednoplaceformethatIhadtodrivemyselfin。
　　Presently，downthehill，theservantsappeared，stragglingbytwosandthrees，firstsomeofthegardenpeopleandthebutler’swifewiththem，thenthetwolaundrymaids，oddinseparableoldcreatures，thenthefirstfootmantalkingtothebutler’slittlegirl，andatlast，walkinggraveandbreathlessbesideoldAnnandMissFison，theblackfigureofmymother。
　　Myboyishmindsuggestedtheadoptionofaplayfulformofappearance。“Coo-ee，mother“saidI，comingoutagainstthesky。”Coo-ee！”
　　Mymotherlookedup，wentverywhite，andputherhandtoherbosom。
　　Isupposetherewasafearfulfussaboutme。AndofcourseIwasquiteunabletoexplainmyreappearance。ButIheldoutstoutly，“Iwon’tgobacktoChatham；I’lldrownmyselffirst。”
　　ThenextdaymymothercarriedmeofftoWimblehurst，tookmefiercelyandaggressivelytoanuncleIhadneverheardofbefore，nearthoughtheplacewastous。Shegavemenowordastowhatwastohappen，andIwastoosubduedbyhermanifestwrathandhumiliationatmylastmisdemeanourtodemandinformation。Idon’tforonemomentthinkLadyDrewwas“nice“
　　aboutme。Thefinalityofmybanishmentwasendorsedandunderlinedandstampedhome。IwishedverymuchnowthatIhadrunawaytosea，inspiteofthecoaldustandsqualourRochesterhadrevealedtome。Perhapsoverseasonecametodifferentlands。