“Specialrisks“becamefrequent。Ilethimexplainhimselfout。
ItappearedhewasalsodemandinganapologyforsomethingIhadsaid。NodoubtIhadinsultedhimgenerously。Atlastcamedefiniteoffers。Ibrokemysilenceandbargained。
“Pollack!”Icriedandhammeredthepartition。
“What’sup?”askedPollack。
Istatedthecaseconcisely。
Therecameasilence。
“He’saCard。”saidPollack。“Let’sgivehimhiscommission。I
don’tmind。”
“Eh?”Icried。
“IsaidhewasaCard,that’sall。”saidPollack。“I’mcoming。”
Heappearedinmydoorwayafaintwhitefigurejoinedourvehementwhisperings。
Wehadtobuythecaptainoff;wehadtopromisehimtenpercent。ofourproblematicalprofits。Weweretogivehimtenpercent。onwhatwesoldthecargoforoverandabovehislegitimatepay,andIfoundinmyout-bargainedanddisorderedstatesmallconsolationinthethoughtthatI,astheGordon-Nasmythexpedition,wastosellthestufftomyselfasBusinessOrganisations。Andhefurtherexasperatedmebyinsistingonhavingourbargaininwriting。“Intheformofaletter。”heinsisted。
“Allright。”Iacquiesced,“intheformofaletter。Heregoes!
Getalight!”
“Andtheapology。”hesaid,foldinguptheletter。
“Allright。”Isaid;“Apology。”
MyhandshookwithangerasIwrote,andafterwardsIcouldnotsleepforhateofhim。AtlastIgotup。Isuffered,Ifound,fromanunusualclumsiness。Istruckmytoeagainstmycabindoor,andcutmyselfasIshaved。Ifoundmyselfatlastpacingthedeckunderthedawninamoodofextremeexasperation。ThesunroseabruptlyandsplashedlightblindinglyintomyeyesandIsworeatthesun。Ifoundmyselfimaginingfreshobstacleswiththemenandtalkingaloudinanticipatoryrehearsaloftheconsequentrow。
Themalariaofthequapwasalreadyinmyblood。
SoonerorlatertheridiculousembargothatnowliesuponallthecoasteastwardofMordetIslandwillbeliftedandtherealityofthedepositsofquapascertained。Iamsurethatweweremerelytakingtheoutcropofastratumofnodulateddepositsthatdipsteeplyseaward。Thoseheapsweremerelythecrumbledoutcontentsoftwoirregularcavitiesintherock;theyareasnaturalasanytalusorheapofthatkind,andthemudalongtheedgeofthewaterformilesismixedwithquap,andisradio-activeandlifelessandfaintlyphosphorescentatnight。
ButthereaderwillfindthefullparticularsofmyimpressionofallthisintheGeologicalMagazineforOctober,l905,andtothatImustreferhim。There,too,hewillfindmyunconfirmedtheoriesofitsnature。IfIamrightitissomethingfarmoresignificantfromthescientificpointofviewthanthoseincidentalconstituentsofvariousraremetals,pitchblende,rutile,andthelike,uponwhichtherevolutionarydiscoveriesofthelastdecadearebased。Thosearejustlittlemolecularcentresofdisintegration,ofthatmysteriousdecayandrottingofthoseelements,elementsonceregardedasthemoststablethingsinnature。Butthereissomething——theonlywordthatcomesnearitisCANCEROUS——andthatisnotverynear,aboutthewholeofquap,somethingthatcreepsandlivesasadiseaselivesbydestroying;anelementalstirringanddisarrangement,incalculablymaleficentandstrange。
Thisisnoimaginativecomparisonofmine。Tomymindradio-activityisarealdiseaseofmatter。Moreover,itisacontagiousdisease。Itspreads。Youbringthosedebasedandcrumblingatomsnearothersandthosetoopresentlycatchthetrickofswingingthemselvesoutofcoherentexistence。Itisinmatterexactlywhatthedecayofouroldcultureisinsociety,alossoftraditionsanddistinctionsandassuredreactions。WhenIthinkoftheseinexplicabledissolventcentresthathavecomeintobeinginourglobe——thesequapheapsaresurelybyfarthelargestthathaveyetbeenfoundintheworld;
therestasyetmerespecksingrainsandcrystals——Iamhauntedbyagrotesquefancyoftheultimateeatingawayanddry-rottinganddispersalofallourworld。Sothatwhilemanstillstrugglesanddreamshisverysubstancewillchangeandcrumblefrombeneathhim。Imentionthishereasaqueerpersistentfancy。Suppose,indeed,thatistobetheendofourplanet;nosplendidclimaxandfinale,notoweringaccumulationofachievements,butjust——atomicdecay!Iaddthattotheideasofthesuffocatingcomet,thedarkbodyoutofspace,theburningoutofthesun,thedistortedorbit,asanewandfarmorepossibleend——asSciencecanseeends——tothisstrangeby-playofmatterthatwecallhumanlife。Idonotbelievethiscanbetheend;nohumansoulcanbelieveinsuchanendandgoonliving,buttoitsciencepointsasapossiblething,scienceandreasonalike。Ifsinglehumanbeings——ifonesinglerickettyinfant——canbebornasitwerebyaccidentanddiefutile,whynotthewholerace?ThesearequestionsIhaveneveranswered,thatnowIneverattempttoanswer,butthethoughtofquapanditsmysteriesbringsthembacktome。
Icanwitnessthatthebeachandmudfortwomilesormoreeitherwaywasalifelessbeach——lifelessasIcouldhaveimaginednotropicalmudcouldeverbe,andallthedeadbranchesandleavesandrottingdeadfishandsoforththatdriftedashorebecamepresentlyshrivelledandwhite。Sometimescrocodileswouldcomeupoutofthewaterandbask,andnowandthenwaterbirdswouldexplorethemudandrockyribsthatroseoutofit,inamoodoftransitoryspeculation。Thatwasitsutmostadmiration。Andtheairfeltatoncehotandaustere,dryandblistering,andaltogetherdifferentthewarmmoistembracethathadmetusatourfirstAfricanlandfallandtowhichwehadgrownaccustomed。
Ibelievethattheprimaryinfluenceofthequapuponuswastoincreasetheconductivityofournerves,butthatisamereunjustifiablespeculationonmypart。Atanyrateitgaveasortofeastwindeffecttolife。Weallbecameirritable,clumsy,languidanddisposedtobeimpatientwithourlanguor。Wemooredthebrigtotherockswithdifficulty,andgotagroundonmudanddecidedtostickthereandtowoffwhenwehaddone——thebottomwasasgreasyasbutter。Oureffortstofixupplanksandsleepersinordertowheelthequapaboardwereasill-conceivedasthatsortofworkcanbe——andthatsortofworkcanattimesbeveryill-conceived。Thecaptainhadasuperstitiousfearofhishold:hebecamewildlygesticulatoryandexpositoryandincompetentatthebarethoughtofit。Hisshoutsstillechoinmymemory,becomingaseachcrisisapproachedlessandlesslikeanyknowntongue。
ButIcannotnowwritethehistoryofthosedaysofblunderingandtoil:ofhowMilton,oneoftheboys,fellfromaplanktothebeach,thirtyfeetperhaps,withhisbarrowandbrokehisarmandIbelievearib,ofhowIandPollacksetthelimbandnursedhimthroughthefeverthatfollowed,ofhowonemanafteranothersuccumbedtoafeverishmalaria,andhowI——byvirtueofmyscientificreputation——wasobligedtoplaythepartofdoctoranddosethemwithquinine,andthenfindingthatworsethannothing,withrumandsmalldosesofEaston’sSyrup,ofwhichtherechancedtobeacaseofbottlesaboard——HeavenandGordon-Nasmythknowwhy。Forthreelongdayswelayinmiseryandnevershippedabarrow-load。Then,whentheyresumed,themen’shandsbrokeoutintosores。Therewerenoglovesavailable;andItriedtogetthem,whiletheyshovelledandwheeled,tocovertheirhandswithstockingsorgreasedrags。
Theywouldnotdothisonaccountoftheheatanddiscomfort。
Thisattemptofminedid,however,directtheirattentiontothequapasthesourceoftheirillnessandprecipitatedwhatintheendfinishedourlading,aninformalstrike。“We’vehadenoughofthis。”theysaid,andtheymeantit。Theycameafttosayasmuch。Theycowedthecaptain。
Throughallthesedaystheweatherwasvariouslyvile,firstafurnaceheatunderaskyofascowlingintensityofblue,thenahotfogthatstuckinone’sthroatlikewoolandturnedthemenontheplanksintocolourlessfiguresofgiants,thenawildburstofthunderstorms,madelementaluproarandrain。Throughitall,againstillness,heat,confusionofmind,onemasterimpetusprevailedwithme,tokeeptheshippinggoing,tomaintainonemotifatleast,whateverelsearoseorceased,thechuffofthespades,thesqueakingandshriekofthebarrows,thepluppa,pluppa,pluppa,asthemencametrottingalongtheswinginghighplanks,andthenatlast,thedollop,dollop,asthestuffshotintothehold。“Anotherbarrow-load,thankGod!
Anotherfifteenhundred,oritmaybetwothousandpounds,forthesavingofPonderevo!。!”
IfoundoutmanythingsaboutmyselfandhumanityinthoseweeksofeffortbehindMordetIsland。Iunderstandnowtheheartofthesweater,oftheharshemployer,ofthenigger-driver。Ihadbroughtthesemenintoadangertheydidn’tunderstand,Iwasfiercelyresolvedtoovercometheiroppositionandbendandusethemformypurpose,andIhatedthemen。ButIhatedallhumanityduringthetimethatthequapwasnearme。
Andmymindwaspervaded,too,byasenseofurgencyandbythefearthatweshouldbediscoveredandourproceedingsstopped。I
wantedtogetouttoseaagain——tobebeatingupnorthwardwithourplunder。Iwasafraidourmastsshowedtoseawardandmightbetrayustosomecuriouspasseronthehighsea。AndoneeveningneartheendIsawacanoewiththreenativesfaroffdownthelake;Igotfield-glassesfromthecaptainandscrutinisedthem,andIcouldseethemstaringatus。Onemanmighthavebeenahalf-breedandwasdressedinwhite。Theywatchedusforsometimeveryquietlyandthenpaddledoffintosomechannelintheforestshadows。
Andforthreenightsrunning,sothatittookapainfulgripuponmyinflamedimagination,Idreamtofmyuncle’sface,onlythatitwasghastlywhitelikeaclown’s,andthethroatwascutfromeartoear——alongochreouscut。“Toolate。”hesaid;“Toolate!。”
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