首页 >出版文学> TONO-BUNGAY>第59章

第59章

  ThenIhadlanded,andwasgoingbacktowhereherhorsestoodstillandtrembling。
  Weexchangednogreetings。Sheslidfromhersaddleintomyarms,andforoneinstantIheldher。
  “Thosegreatwings。”shesaid,andthatwasall。
  Shelayinmyarms,andIthoughtforamomentshehadfainted。
  “Verynearanastyaccident。”saidCothope,comingupandregardingourgroupingwithdisfavour。Hetookherhorsebythebridle。“Verydangerousthingcomingacrossuslikethat。”
  Beatricedisengagedherselffromme,stoodforamomenttrembling,andthensatdownontheturf“I’lljustsitdownforamoment。”shesaid。
  “Oh!”shesaid。
  Shecoveredherfacewithherhands,whileCothopelookedatherwithanexpressionbetweensuspicionandimpatience。
  Forsomemomentsnobodymoved。ThenCothoperemarkedthatperhapshe’dbettergetherwater。
  Asforme,Iwasfilledwithanewoutrageousidea,begottenI
  scarcelyknowhowfromthisincident,withitsinstantcontactsandswiftemotions,andthatwasthatImustmakelovetoandpossessBeatrice。Iseenoparticularreasonwhythatthoughtshouldhavecometomeinthatmoment,butitdid。IdonotbelievethatbeforethenIhadthoughtofourrelationsinsuchtermsatall。Suddenly,asIrememberit,thefactorofpassioncame。Shecrouchedthere,andIstoodoverher,andneitherofussaidaword。Butitwasjustasthoughsomethinghadbeenshoutedfromthesky。
  Cothopehadgonetwentypacesperhapswhensheuncoveredherface。“Ishan’twantanywater。”shesaid。“Callhimback。”
  Afterthatthespiritofourrelationschanged。Theoldeasehadgone。Shecametomelessfrequently,andwhenshecameshewouldhavesomeonewithher,usuallyoldCarnaby,andhewoulddothebulkofthetalking。AllthroughSeptembershewasaway。
  Whenwewerealonetogethertherewasacuriousconstraint。Webecamecloudsofinexpressiblefeelingtowardsoneanother;wecouldthinkofnothingthatwasnottoomomentousforwords。
  ThencamethesmashofLordRobertsA,andIfoundmyselfwithabandagedfaceinabedroomintheBedleyCornerdower-housewithBeatricepresidingoveraninefficientnurse,LadyOspreyverypinkandshockedinthebackground,andmyauntjealouslyintervening。
  Myinjuriesweremuchmoreshowythanserious,andIcouldhavebeentakentoLadyGrovenextday,butBeatricewouldnotpermitthat,andkeptmeatBedleyCornerthreecleardays。Intheafternoonoftheseconddayshebecameextremelysolicitousfortheproperaerationofthenurse,packedheroffforanhourinabriskrain,andsatbymealone。
  Iaskedhertomarryme。
  AllthewholeImustadmititwasnotasituationthatlentitselftoeloquence。Ilayonmybackandtalkedthroughbandages,andwithsomelittledifficulty,formytongueandmouthhadswollen。ButIwasfeverishandinpain,andtheemotionalsuspenseIhadbeeninsolongwithregardtoherbecamenowanunendurableimpatience。
  “Comfortable?”sheasked。
  “Yes。”
  “ShallIreadtoyou?”
  “No。Iwanttotalk。”
  “Youcan’t。I’dbettertalktoyou。”
  “No。”Isaid,“Iwanttotalktoyou。”
  Shecameandstoodbymybedsideandlookedmeintheeyes。“I
  don’t——Idon’twantyoutotalktome。”shesaid。“Ithoughtyoucouldn’ttalk。”
  “Igetfewchances——ofyou。”
  “You’dbetternottalk。Don’ttalknow。Letmechatterinstead。
  Yououghtnottotalk。”
  “Itisn’tmuch“Isaid。
  “I’dratheryoudidn’t。”
  “I’mnotgoingtobedisfigured。”Isaid。“Onlyascar。”
  “Oh!”shesaid,asifshehadexpectedsomethingquitedifferent。“Didyouthinkyou’dbecomeasortofgargoyle?”
  “L’HommequiRit!——Ididn’tknow。Butthat’sallright。Jollyflowersthoseare!”
  “Michaelmasdaisies。”shesaid。“I’mgladyou’rnotdisfigured,andthoseareperennialsunflowers。Doyouknownoflowersatall?WhenIsawyouonthegroundIcertainlythoughtyouweredead。Yououghttohavebeen,byalltherulesofthegame。”
  Shesaidsomeotherthings,butIwasthinkingofmynextmove。
  “Arewesocialequals?”Isaidabruptly。
  Shestaredatme。“Queerquestion。”shesaid。
  “Butarewe?”
  “H’m。Difficulttosay。Butwhydoyouask?IsthedaughterofacourtesyBaronwhodied——ofgeneraldisreputableness,I
  believe——beforehisfather——?Igiveitup。Doesitmatter?”
  “No。Mymindisconfused。Iwanttoknowifyouwillmarryme。”
  Shewhitenedandsaidnothing。IsuddenlyfeltImustpleadwithher。“Damnthesebandages!”Isaid,breakingintoineffectualfebrilerage。
  Sherousedherselftoherdutiesasnurse。“Whatareyoudoing?
  Whyareyoutryingtositup?Sitdown!Don’ttouchyourbandages。Itoldyounottotalk。”
  Shestoodhelplessforamoment,thentookmefirmlybytheshouldersandpushedmebackuponthepillow。ShegrippedthewristofthehandIhadraisedtomyface。
  “Itoldyounottotalk。”shewhisperedclosetomyface。“I
  askedyounottotalk。Whycouldn’tyoudoasIaskedyou?”
  “You’vebeenavoidingmeforamonth。”Isaid。
  “Iknow。Youmighthaveknown。Putyourhandback——downbyyourside。”
  Iobeyed。Shesatontheedgeofthebed。Aflushhadcometohercheeks,andhereyeswereverybright。“Iaskedyou。”sherepeated,“nottotalk。”
  Myeyesquestionedhermutely。
  Sheputherhandonmychest。Hereyesweretormented。
  “HowcanIansweryounow?”shesaid。
  “HowcanIsayanythingnow?”
  “Whatdoyoumean?”Iasked。
  Shemadenoanswer。
  “Doyoumeanitmustbe’No’?”
  Shenodded。
  “But“Isaid,andmywholesoulwasfullofaccusations。
  “Iknow。”shesaid。“Ican’texplain。Ican’t。Butithastobe’No!’Itcan’tbe。It’sutterly,finally,foreverimpossible。Keepyourhandsstill!”
  “But。”Isaid,“whenwemetagain——“
  “Ican’tmarry。Ican’tandwon’t。”
  Shestoodup。“Whydidyoutalk?”shecried,“couldn’tyouSEE?”
  Sheseemedtohavesomethingitwasimpossibletosay。
  ShecametothetablebesidemybedandpulledtheMichaelmasdaisiesawry。“Whydidyoutalklikethat?”shesaidinatoneofinfinitebitterness。“Tobeginlikethat!”
  “Butwhatisit?”Isaid。“Isitsomecircumstance——mysocialposition?”
  “Oh,DAMNyoursocialposition!”shecried。
  Shewentandstoodatthefurtherwindow,staringoutattherain。Foralongtimewewereabsolutelystill。Thewindandraincameinlittlegustsuponthepane。Sheturnedtomeabruptly。
  “Youdidn’taskmeifIlovedyou。”shesaid。
  “Oh,ifit’sTHAT!”saidI。
  “It’snotthat。”shesaid。“Butifyouwanttoknow——“Shepaused。
  “Ido。”shesaid。
  Westaredatoneanother。
  “Ido——withallmyheart,ifyouwanttoknow。”
  “Then,whythedevil——?”Iasked。