TheyallcametothetrainwhentheMarchesstarteduptoLondon,andstoodwavingtothemastheypulledoutofthestation。“Well,Ican’tseebutthat’sallright。”hesaidashesankbackinhisseatwithasighofrelief。“Ineversupposedweshouldgetoutoftheirmarriagehalfsowell,andIdon’tfeelthatyouquitemadethematcheither,mydear。”
ShewasforcedtoagreewithhimthattheKenbysseemedhappytogether,andthattherewasnothingtofearforRoseintheirhappiness。HewouldbeastenderlycaredforbyKenbyashecouldhavebeenbyhismother,andfarmorejudiciously。Sheownedthatshehadtrembledforhimtillshehadseenthemalltogether;andnowsheshouldnevertrembleagain。
“Well?”Marchprompted,atacertaininconclusivenessinhertoneratherthanherwords。
“Well,youcanseethatit,isn’tideal。”
“Whyisn’titideal?IsupposeyouthinkthatthemarriageofBurnamyandAgathaTriscoewillbeideal,withtheirignorancesandinexperiencesandillusions。”
“Yes!It’stheillusions:nomarriagecanbeperfectwithoutthem,andattheiragetheKenbyscan’thavethem。”
“Kenbyisasolidmassofillusion。AndIbelievethatpeoplecangoandgetasmanynewillusionsastheywant,wheneverthey’velosttheiroldones。”
“Yes,butthenewillusionswon’twearsowell;andinmarriageyouwantillusionsthatwilllast。No;youneedn’ttalktome。It’sallverywell,butitisn’tideal。”
Marchlaughed。“Ideal!Whatisideal?”
“Goinghome!”shesaidwithsuchpassionthathehadnotthehearttopointoutthattheyweremerelyreturningtotheiroldduties,caresandpains,withtheworn-outillusionthatthesewouldbealtogetherdifferentwhentheytookthemupagain。
InfulfilmentofanotheridealMrs。MarchtookstraightwaytoherberthwhenshegotonboardtheCupania,andtoherhusband’sadmirationsheremainedtheretillthedaybeforetheyreachedNewYork。Hertheorywasthatthecompleterestwoulddomorethananythingelsetocalmhershakennerves;andshedidnotadmitintohercalculationsthechancesofadverseweatherwhichMarchwouldnotsuggestasprobableinthelastweekinSeptember。Theeventjustifiedherunconsciousfaith。Theship’srunwasofunparalledswiftness,evenfortheCupania,andofunparalledsmoothness。Fordaystheseawasassleekasoil;therackswereneveronthetablesonce;thevoyagewasofthesortwhichthosewhomakeitnomorebelieveinatthetimethanthosewhomtheyafterwardswearyinboastingofit。
Theshipwasveryfull,butMrs。Marchdidnotshowtheslightestcuriositytoknowwhoherfellow-passengerswere。Shesaidthatshewishedtobeletperfectlyalone,evenbyherownemotions,andforthisreasonsheforbadeMarchtobringheralistofthepassengerstillaftertheyhadleftQueenstownlestitshouldbetooexciting。Hedidnottakethetroubletolookitup,therefore;andthefirstnightouthesawnoonewhomheknewatdinner;butthenextmorningatbreakfasthefoundhimselftohisgreatsatisfactionatthesametablewiththeEltwins。
TheyweresomuchateasewithhimthatevenMrs。Eltwintookpartinthetalk,andtoldhimhowtheyhadspentthetimeofherhusband’srigorousafter-cureinSwitzerland,andnowhewasgoinghomemuchbetterthantheyhadexpected。ShesaidtheyhadratherthoughtofspendingthewinterinEurope,buthadgivenitupbecausetheywerebothalittlehomesick。Marchconfessedthatthiswasexactlythecasewithhiswifeandhimself;andhehadtoaddthatMrs。Marchwasnotverywellotherwise,andheshouldbegladtobeathomeonheraccount。TherecurrenceofthewordhomeseemedtodeepenEltwin’shabitualgloom,andMrs。EltwinhastenedtoleavethesubjectoftheirreturnforinquiryintoMrs。March’scondition;herinterestdidnotsofarovercomehershynessthatsheventuredtoproposeavisittoher;andMarchfoundthatthefactoftheEltwins’presenceonboarddidnotagitatehiswife。
Itseemedrathertocomforther,andshesaidshehopedhewouldseeallhecouldofthepooroldthings。Sheaskedifhehadmetanyoneelseheknew,andhewasabletotellherthatthereseemedtobeagoodmanyswellsonboard,andthischeeredherverymuch,thoughhedidnotknowthem;shelikedtobeneartherose,thoughitwasnotaflowerthatshereallycaredfor。
Shedidnotaskwhotheswellswere,andMarchtooknotroubletofindout。Hetooknotroubletogetapassenger-list,andhehadthemoretroublewhenhetriedatlast;thelistsseemedtohaveallvanished,astheyhaveahabitofdoing,afterthefirstday;theonethathemadeinterestforwiththeheadstewardwasasecond-handcopy,andhadnooneheknewinitbuttheEltwins。Thesocialsolitude,however,wasratherfavorabletocertainotherimpressions。ThereseemedevenmoreelderlypeoplethantherewereontheNorumbia;thehumanatmospherewasgrayandsober;therewasnothingofthegayexpansionoftheoutwardvoyage;
therewaslittletalkingorlaughingamongthoseautumnalmenwhoweregoingseriouslyandanxiouslyhome,withfacesfiercelysetforthecominggrapple;ornecksmeeklybowedfortheyoke。Theyhadeatentheircake,andithadbeengood,butthereremainedadiscomfortinthedigestion。Theysataboutinsilence,andMarchfanciedthattheflownsummerwasasdreamliketoeachofthemasitnowwastohim。Hehatedtobeoftheirdrearycompany,butspirituallyheknewthathewasofit;
andhevainlyturnedtocheerhimselfwiththeyoungerpassengers。Somematronswhowentaboutcladinfursamusedhim,fortheymusthavebeenunpleasantlywarmintheirjacketsandboas;nothingbutthehopeofbeingabletotellthecustomsinspectorwithagoodconsciencethatthethingshadbeenworn,wouldhavesustainedoneladydrapedfromheadtofootinAstrakhan。
Theywereallgettingthemselvesreadyforthefrayortheplayofthecomingwinter;butthereseemednothingjoyousinthepreparation。Thereweremanyyounggirls,astherealwaysareeverywhere,buttherewerenotmanyyoungmen,andsuchastherewerekepttothesmoking-room。Therewasnosignofflirtationamongthem;hewouldhavegivenmuchforamomentofthepivotalgirl,toseewhethershecouldhavebrightenedthosegloomysurfaceswithherimpartiallamp。Marchwishedthathecouldhavebroughtsomereportfromtheouterworldtocheerhiswife,ashedescendedtotheirstate-room。Theyhadtakenwhattheycouldgetattheeleventhhour,andtheyhadgotnosuchidealroomastheyhadintheNorumbia。Itwas,asMrs。Marchgraphicallysaid,abasementroom。
Itwasonthenorthsideoftheship,whichisacoldexposure,andiftherehadbeenanysunitcouldnothavegotintotheirwindow,whichwashalfthetimeunderwater。Thegreenwaves,lacedwithfoam,hissedastheyranacrosstheport;andtheelectricfaninthecorridormoanedlikethewindinagable。
Hefeltasinkingoftheheartashepushedthestate-roomdooropen,andlookedathiswifelyingwithherfaceturnedtothewall;andhewasgoingtowithdraw,thinkingherasleep,whenshesaidquietly,“Arewegoingdown?”
“NotthatIknowof。”heansweredwithagayetyhedidnotfeel。“ButI’llasktheheadsteward。”
Sheputoutherhandbehindherforhimtotake,andclutchedhisfingersconvulsively。“IfI’mneveranybetter,youwillalwaysrememberthishappy,summer,won’tyou?Oh,it’sbeensuchahappysummer!Ithasbeenonelongjoy,onecontinuedtriumph!Butitwastoolate;weweretooold;andit’sbrokenme。”
Thetimehadbeenwhenhewouldhaveattemptedcomfort;whenhewouldhavetriedmocking;butthattimewaslongpast;hecouldonlyprayinwardlyforsomesortofdiversion,butwhatitwastobeintheirbarrencircumstancehewasobligedtoleavealtogethertoProvidence。
Heventured,pendingananswertohisprayersuponthequestion,“Don’tyouthinkI’dbetterseethedoctor,andgetyousomesortoftonic?”
Shesuddenlyturnedandfacedhim。“Thedoctor!Why,I’mnotsick,Basil!Ifyoucanseethepurserandgetourroomschanged,ordosomethingtostopthosewavesfromslappingagainstthathorribleblinkingone-eyedwindow,youcansavemylife;butnotonicisgoingtohelpme。”
Sheturnedherfacefromhimagain,andburieditinthebedclothes,whilehelookeddesperatelyattheracingwaves,andtheportthatseemedtoopenandshutlikeawearyeye。
“Oh,goaway!”sheimplored。“Ishallbebetterpresently,butifyoustandtherelikethat——Goandseeifyoucan’tgetsomeotherroom,whereIneedn’tfeelasifIweredrowning,allthewayover。”
Heobeyed,sofarastogoawayatonce,andhavingoncestarted,hedidnotstopshortofthepurser’soffice。HemadeanexcuseofgettinggreenbacksforsomeEnglishbank-notes,andthenhesaidcasuallythathesupposedtherewouldbenochanceofhavinghisroomonthelowerdeckchangedforsomethingalittlelessintimatewiththesea。Thepurserwasnottheretotakethehumorousview,butheconceivedthatMarchwantedsomethinghigherup,andhewasabletoofferhimaroomofthoseonthepromenadewherehehadseenswellsgoinginandout,forsixhundreddollars。Marchdidnotblench,butsaidhewouldgethiswifetolookatitwithhim,andthenhewentoutsomewhatdizzilytotakecounselwithhimselfhowheshouldputthemattertoher。Shewouldbesuretoaskwhatthepriceofthenewroomwouldbe,andhedebatedwhethertotakeitandtellhersomekindlylieaboutit,ortrusttothebracingeffectofthesumnamedinhelpingrestorethelostbalanceofhernerves。Hewasnotsorichthathecouldthrowsixhundreddollarsaway,buttheremightbeworsethings;andhewalkedupanddownthinking。Allatonceitflasheduponhimthathehadbetterseethedoctor,anyway,andfindoutwhethertherewerenotsomelasthopeinmedicinebeforehetookthedesperatestepbeforehim。Heturnedinhalfhiscourse,andranintoaladywhohadjustemergedfromthedoorofthepromenadeladenwithwraps,andwhodroppedthemallandclutchedhimtosaveherselffromfalling。
“Why,Mr。March!”sheshrieked。
“MissTriscoe!”hereturned,intheastonishmentwhichhesharedwithhertotheextentoflettingtheshawlshehadknockedfromherholdliebetweenthemtillshebegantopickthemupherself。Thenhejoinedherandinthereliefoftheircommonoccupationtheycontrivedtopossesseachotherofthereasonoftheirpresenceon,thesameboat。ShehadsorrowedoverMrs。March’ssadstate,andhehadgrievedtohearthatherfatherwasgoinghomebecausehewasnotatallwell,beforetheyfoundthegeneralstretchedoutinhissteamer-chair,andwaitingwithagrimimpatienceforhisdaughter。
“Buthowisityou’renotinthepassenger-list?”heinquiredofthemboth,andMissTriscoeexplainedthattheyhadtakentheirpassageatthelastmoment,toolate,shesupposed,togetintothelist。TheywereinLondon,andhadrundowntoLiverpoolonthechanceofgettingberths。
Beyondthisshewasnotdefinite,andtherewasanabsenceofBurnamynotonlyfromhercompanybutfromherconversationwhichmystifiedMarchthroughallhisselfishpreoccupationswithhiswife。Shewasagirlwhohadherreserves,butforagirlwhohadsolatelyandrapturouslywrittenthemofherengagement,therewasasilenceconcerningherbetrothedthathadalmostpositivequality。WithhislongingtotryMissTriscoeuponMrs。March’smaladyasaremedialagent,hehadnowthedesiretotryMrs。MarchuponMissTriscoe’smysteryasasolvent。Shestoodtalkingtohim,andrefusingtositdownandbewrappedupinthechairnextherfather。ShesaidthatifheweregoingtoaskMrs。Marchtolethercometoher,itwouldnotbeworthwhiletositdown;andhehurriedbelow。
“Didyougetit?”askedhiswife,withoutlookinground,butnotsoapatheticallyasbefore。
“Oh,yes。That’sallright。Butnow,Isabel,there’ssomethingI’vegottotellyou。You’dfinditout,andyou’dbetterknowitatonce。”