“Youneedtherest。”saidtheBusinessEnd;“andyourwifewantsyoutogo,aswellasyourdoctor。Besides,it’syourSabbaticalyear,andyou,couldsendbackalotofstuffforthemagazine。”
“IsthatyournotionofaSabbaticalyear?“askedtheeditor。
“No;Ithrowthatoutasabaittoyourconscience。Youneedn’twritealinewhileyou’regone。Iwishyouwouldn’tforyourownsake;althougheverynumberthathasn’tgotyouinitisabacknumberforme。”
“That’sveryniceofyou,Fulkerson。”saidtheeditor。“Isupposeyourealizethatit’snineyearssincewetook’EveryOtherWeek’fromDryfoos?”
“Well,thatmakesitallthemoreSabbatical。”saidFulkerson。“Thetwoextrayearsthatyou’veputinhere,overandabovetheoldstyleSabbaticalseven,arejustsomuchmoretoyourcredit。Itwasyourrighttogo,twoyearsago,andnowit’syourduty。Couldn’tyoulookatitinthatlight?”
“IdaresayMrs。Marchcould。”theeditorassented。“Idon’tbelieveshecouldbebroughttoregarditasapleasureonanyotherterms。”
“Ofcoursenot。”saidFulkerson。“Ifyouwon’ttakeayear,takethreemonths,andcallitaSabbaticalsummer;butgo,anyway。Youcanmakeuphalfadozennumbersahead,andTom,here,knowsyourwayssowellthatyouneedn’tthinkabout’EveryOtherWeek’fromthetimeyoustarttillthetimeyoutrytobribethecustomsinspectorwhenyougetback。Icantakeahackattheeditingmyself,ifTom’sinspirationgivesout,andputalittleofmyadvertisingfireintothething。”Helaidhishandontheshoulderoftheyoungfellowwhostoodsmilingby,andpushedandshookhiminthelikingtherewasbetweenthem。“Nowyougo,March!
Mrs。FulkersonfeelsjustasIdoaboutit;wehadouroutinglastyear,andwewantMrs。Marchandyoutohaveyours。Youletmegodownandengageyourpassage,and——“
“No,no!”theeditorrebelled。“I’llthinkaboutit;“butasheturnedtotheworkhewassofondofandsowearyof,hetriednottothinkofthequestionagain,tillheclosedhisdeskintheafternoon,andstartedtowalkhome;thedoctorhadsaidheoughttowalk,andhedidso,thoughhelongedtoride,andlookedwistfullyatthepassingcars。
Heknewhewasinarut,ashiswifeoftensaid;butifitwasarut,itwasasupporttoo;itkepthimfromwobbling:Shealwaystalkedasifthefloweryfieldsofyouthlayoneithersideofthedustyroadhehadbeengoingsolong,andhehadbuttostepasidefromit,tobeamongthebutterfliesandbuttercupsagain;hesometimesindulgedthisillusion,himself,inacertainironicalspiritwhichcaressedwhileitmockedthenotion。Theyhadatacitagreementthattheiryouth,iftheywereevertofinditagain,wastobelookedforinEurope,wheretheymetwhentheywereyoung,andtheyhadneverbeenquitewithoutthehopeofgoingbackthere,someday,foralongsojourn。Theyhadnotseenthetimewhentheycoulddoso;theyweredreamers,but,astheyrecognized,evendreamingisnotfreefromcare;andinhisdreamMarchhadbeenobligedtoworkprettysteadily,ifnottoointensely。Hehadbeenforcedtoforegothedistinctlyliteraryambitionwithwhichhehadstartedinlifebecausehehadtheircommonlivingtomake,andhecouldnotmakeitbywritinggracefulverse,orevengracefulprose。Hehadbeenmanyyearsinasufficientlydistastefulbusiness,andhehadlostanythoughtofleavingitwhenitlefthim,perhapsbecausehisholdonithadalwaysbeenratherlax,andhehadnotbeenabletoconcealthathedislikedit。
Atanyrate,hewassupplantedinhisinsuranceagencyatBostonbyasubordinateinhisoffice,andthoughhewasatthesametimeofferedaplaceofnominalcreditintheemployofthecompany,hewasabletodeclineitingraceofachancewhichunitedthecharmofcongenialworkwiththesolidadvantageofabettersalarythanhehadbeengettingforworkhehated。Itwasanincrediblechance,butitwasrenderedappreciablyrealbythenecessityitinvolvedthattheyshouldleaveBoston,wheretheyhadlivedalltheirmarriedlife,whereMrs。Marchaswellastheirchildrenwasborn,andwherealltheirtenderandfamiliartieswere,andcometoNewYork,wheretheliteraryenterprisewhichformedhischancewastobefounded。
Itwasthenamagazineofanewsort,whichhisbusinesspartnerhadimaginedinsuchleisureasthemanagementofanewspapersyndicateaffordedhim,andhadalwaysthoughtofgettingMarchtoedit。Themagazinewhichisalsoabookhassincebeenrealizedelsewhereonmoreorlessprosperousterms,butnotforanylongperiod,and’EveryOtherWeek’wasapparently——theonlyperiodicalofthekindconditionedforsurvival。Itwasatfirstbackedbyunlimitedcapital,andithadtheinstantfavorofapopularmood,whichhassincechanged,butwhichdidnotchangesosoonthatthemagazinehadnottimetoestablishitselfinawideacceptance。Itwasnownolongeranovelty,itwasnolongerinthemaidenblushofitsfirstsuccess,butithadentereduponitssecondyouthwiththereasonablehopeofmanyyearsofprosperitybeforeit。Infactitwasaverycomfortablelivingforallconcerned,andtheMarcheshadtheconditions,almostdismayinglyperfect,inwhichtheyhadoftenpromisedthemselvestogoandbeyoungagaininEurope,whentheyrebelledatfindingthemselveselderlyinAmerica。Theirdaughterwasmarried,andsoverymuchtohermother’smindthatshedidnotworryabouther,eventhoughshelivedsofarawayasChicago,stillawildfrontiertowntoherBostonimagination;andtheirson,assoonasheleftcollege,hadtakenholdon’EveryOtherWeek’,underhisfather’sinstruction,withazealandintelligencewhichwonhimFulkerson’spraiseasachipoftheoldblock。Thesetwolikedeachother,andworkedintoeachother’shandsascordiallyandaptlyasFulkersonandMarchhadeverdone。ItamusedthefathertoseehissonofferingFulkersonthesamedeferencewhichtheBusinessEndpaidtoseniorityinMarchhimself;butinfact,Fulkerson’sforeheadwasgetting,ashesaid,moreintellectualeveryday;andtheyearswerepushingthemallalongtogether。
Still,Marchhadkeptonintheoldrut,andonedayhefelldowninit。
Hehadalongsickness,andwhenhewaswellofit,hewassoslowingettinghisgripofworkagainthathewassometimesdeeplydiscouraged。
Hiswifesharedhisdepression,whetherheshowedorwhetherhehidit,andwhenthedoctoradvisedhisgoingabroad,sheabettedthedoctorwithallthestrengthofawoman’shygienicintuitions。Marchhimselfwillinglyconsented,atfirst;butassoonashegotstrengthforhiswork,hebegantotemporizeandtodemur。HesaidthathebelieveditwoulddohimjustasmuchgoodtogotoSaratoga,wheretheyalwayshadsuchagoodtime,astogotoCarlsbad;andMrs。Marchhadbeenobligedseveraltimestoleavehimtohisownundoing;shealwaystookhimmorevigorouslyinhandafterwards。
Whenhegothomefromthe’EveryOtherWeek’office,theafternoonofthattalkwiththeBusinessEnd,hewantedtolaughwithhiswifeatFulkerson’snotionofaSabbaticalyear。Shedidnotthinkitwassoverydroll;sheevenurgeditseriouslyagainsthim,asifshehadnowtheauthorityofHolyWritforforcinghimabroad;shefoundnorelishofabsurdityintheideathatitwashisdutytotakethisrestwhichhadbeenhisrightbefore。
Heabandonedhimselftoafancywhichhadbeenworkingtothesurfaceofhisthought。“WecouldcallitourSilverWeddingJourney,andgoroundtoalltheoldplaces,andseetheminthereflectedlightofthepast。”
“Oh,wecould!”sheresponded,passionately;andhehadnowthedelicateresponsibilityofpersuadingherthathewasjoking。
HecouldthinkofnothingbetterthanareturntoFulkerson’sabsurdity。
“ItwouldbeourSilverWeddingJourneyjustasitwouldbemySabbaticalyear——agooddealafterdate。ButIsupposethatwouldmakeitallthemoresilvery。”
Shefalteredinherelation。“Didn’tyousayaSabbaticalyearyourself?”shedemanded。
“Fulkersonsaidit;butitwasafigurativeexpression。”
“AndIsupposetheSilverWeddingJourneywasafigurativeexpressiontoo!”
“Itwasanotionthattemptedme;Ithoughtyouwouldenjoyit。Don’tyousupposeIshouldbegladtoo,ifwecouldgoover,andfindourselvesjustaswewerewhenwefirstmetthere?”
“No;Idon’tbelievenowthatyoucareanythingaboutit。”
“Well,itcouldn’tbedone,anyway;sothatdoesn’tmatter。”
“Itcouldbedone,ifyouwereamindtothinkso。Anditwouldbethegreatestinspirationtoyou。Youarealwayslongingforsomechancetodooriginalwork,togetawayfromyourediting,butyou’veletthetimeslipbywithoutreallytryingtodoanything;Idon’tcallthoselittlestudiesofyoursinthemagazineanything;andnowyouwon’ttakethechancethat’salmostforcingitselfuponyou。Youcouldwriteanoriginalbookofthenicestkind;mixuptravelandfiction;getsomelovein。”
“Oh,that’sthestalestkindofthing!”
“Well,butyoucouldseeitfromaperfectlynewpointofview。Youcouldlookatitasasortofdispassionatewitness,andtreatithumorously——ofcourseitisridiculous——anddosomethingentirelyfresh。”
“Itwouldn’twork。Itwouldbecarryingwateronbothshoulders。Thefictionwouldkillthetravel,thetravelwouldkillthefiction;theloveandthehumorwouldn’tmingleanymorethanoilandvinegar。”
“Well,andwhatisbetterthanasalad?”
“Butthiswouldbeallsalad-dressing,andnothingtoputiton。”Shewassilent,andheyieldedtoanotherfancy。“Wemightimaginecominguponourformerselvesoverthere,andtravellingroundwiththem——
aweddingjourney’enpartiecarree’。”
“Somethinglikethat。Icallitaverypoeticalidea。”shesaidwithasortofprovisionality,asifdistrustinganotherambush。
“Itisn’tsobad。”headmitted。“Howyoungwewere,inthosedays!”
“Tooyoungtoknowwhatagoodtimewewerehaving。”shesaid,relaxingherdoubtfortheretrospect。“Idon’tfeelasifIreallysawEurope,then;Iwastooinexperienced,tooignorant,toosimple。Iwouldliketogo,justtomakesurethatIhadbeen。”Hewassmilingagaininthewayhehadwhenanythingoccurredtohimthatamusedhim,andshedemanded,“Whatisit?”
“Nothing。Iwaswishingwecouldgointheconsciousnessofpeoplewhoactuallyhadn’tbeenbefore——carrythemallthroughEurope,andletthemseeitintheold,simple-heartedAmericanway。”
Sheshookherhead。“Youcouldn’t!They’veallbeen!”
“Allbutaboutsixtyorseventymillions。”saidMarch。
“Well,thosearejustthemillionsyoudon’tknow,andcouldn’timagine。”
“I’mnotsosureofthat。”
“Andevenifyoucouldimaginethem,youcouldn’tmaketheminteresting。
Alltheinterestingoneshavebeen,anyway。”
“Someoftheuninterestingonestoo。Iused,tomeetsomeofthatsortoverthere。IbelieveIwouldratherchanceitformypleasurewiththosethathadn’tbeen。”
“Thenwhynotdoit?Iknowyoucouldgetsomethingoutofit。”
“Itmightbeagoodthing。”hemused,“totakeacouplewhohadpassedtheirwholelifehereinNewYork,toopoorandtoobusyevertogo;andhadaperfectfamineforEuropeallthetime。IcouldhavethemspendtheirSundayafternoonsgoingaboardthedifferentboats,andlookinguptheiraccommodations。Icouldhavethemsail,inimagination,anddiscoveranimaginaryEurope,andgivetheirgrotesquemisconceptionsofitfromtravelsandnovelsagainstabackgroundofpurelyAmericanexperience。Weneedn’tgoabroadtomanagethat。Ithinkitwouldberathernice。”