Tolstoy’scasewasagoodcommentonthosewords。Therewasalmostnotheologyinhisconversion。Hisfaith-statewasthesensecomebackthatlifewasinfiniteinitsmoralsignificance。
AmericanJournalofPsychology,vii。345-347,abridged。
Thecharacteristicsoftheaffectiveexperiencewhich,toavoidambiguity,should,Ithink,becalledthestateofassuranceratherthanthefaith-state,canbeeasilyenumerated,thoughitisprobablydifficulttorealizetheirintensity,unlessonehasbeenthroughtheexperienceone’sself。
Thecentraloneisthelossofalltheworry,thesensethatallisultimatelywellwithone,thepeace,theharmony,theWILLINGNESSTOBE,eventhoughtheouterconditionsshouldremainthesame。ThecertaintyofGod’s“grace。”of“justification。”
“salvation。”isanobjectivebeliefthatusuallyaccompaniesthechangeinChristians;butthismaybeentirelylackingandyettheaffectivepeaceremainthesame——youwillrecollectthecaseoftheOxfordgraduate:andmanymightbegivenwheretheassuranceofpersonalsalvationwasonlyalaterresult。
Apassionofwillingness,ofacquiescence,ofadmiration,istheglowingcentreofthisstateofmind。
Thesecondfeatureisthesenseofperceivingtruthsnotknownbefore。Themysteriesoflifebecomelucid,asProfessorLeubasays;andoften,nayusually,thesolutionismoreorlessunutterableinwords。Butthesemoreintellectualphenomenamaybepostponeduntilwetreatofmysticism。
Athirdpeculiarityoftheassurancestateistheobjectivechangewhichtheworldoftenappearstoundergo。“Anappearanceofnewnessbeautifieseveryobject。”thepreciseoppositeofthatothersortofnewness,thatdreadfulunrealityandstrangenessintheappearanceoftheworld,whichisexperiencedbymelancholypatients,andofwhichyoumayrecallmyrelatingsomeexamples。[135]Thissenseofcleanandbeautifulnewnesswithinandwithoutisoneofthecommonestentriesinconversionrecords。JonathanEdwardsthusdescribesitinhimself:——
[135]Above,p。150。
“Afterthismysenseofdivinethingsgraduallyincreased,andbecamemoreandmorelively,andhadmoreofthatinwardsweetness。Theappearanceofeverythingwasaltered;thereseemedtobe,asitwere,acalm,sweetcast,orappearanceofdivineglory,inalmosteverything。God’sexcellency,hiswisdom,hispurityandlove,seemedtoappearineverything;inthesun,moon,andstars;inthecloudsandbluesky;inthegrass,flowers,andtrees;inthewaterandallnature;whichusedgreatlytofixmymind。Andscarceanything,amongalltheworksofnature,wassosweettomeasthunderandlightning;
formerlynothinghadbeensoterribletome。Before,Iusedtobeuncommonlyterrifiedwiththunder,andtobestruckwithterrorwhenIsawathunderstormrising;butnow,onthecontrary,itrejoicesme。”[136]
[136]Dwight:LifeofEdwards,NewYork,1830,p。61,abridged。
BillyBray,anexcellentlittleilliterateEnglishevangelist,recordshissenseofnewnessthus:——
“IsaidtotheLord:’Thouhastsaid,theythataskshallreceive,theythatseekshallfind,andtothemthatknockthedoorshallbeopened,andIhavefaithtobelieveit。’InaninstanttheLordmademesohappythatIcannotexpresswhatI
felt。Ishoutedforjoy。IpraisedGodwithmywholeheart……IthinkthiswasinNovember,1823,butwhatdayofthemonthIdonotknow。Irememberthis,thateverythinglookednewtome,thepeople,thefields,thecattle,thetrees。Iwaslikeanewmaninanewworld。IspentthegreaterpartofmytimeinpraisingtheLord。”[137]
[137]W。F。Bourne:TheKing’sSon,aMemoirofBillyBray,London,Hamilton,Adams&Co。,1887,p。9。
StarbuckandLeubabothillustratethissenseofnewnessbyquotations。ItakethetwofollowingfromStarbuck’smanuscriptcollection。One,awoman,says:——
“Iwastakentoacamp-meeting,motherandreligiousfriendsseekingandprayingformyconversion。Myemotionalnaturewasstirredtoitsdepths;confessionsofdepravityandpleadingwithGodforsalvationfromsinmademeobliviousofallsurroundings。
Ipleadformercy,andhadavividrealizationofforgivenessandrenewalofmynature。WhenrisingfrommykneesIexclaimed,’Oldthingshavepassedaway,allthingshavebecomenew。’Itwaslikeenteringanotherworld,anewstateofexistence。Naturalobjectswereglorified,myspiritualvisionwassoclarifiedthatIsawbeautyineverymaterialobjectintheuniverse,thewoodswerevocalwithheavenlymusic;mysoulexultedintheloveofGod,andIwantedeverybodytoshareinmyjoy。”
Thenextcaseisthatofaman:——
“IknownothowIgotbackintotheencampment,butfoundmyselfstaggeringuptoRev——’sHolinesstent——andasitwasfullofseekersandaterriblenoiseinside,somegroaning,somelaughing,andsomeshouting,andbyalargeoak,tenfeetfromthetent,Ifellonmyfacebyabench,andtriedtopray,andeverytimeIwouldcallonGod,somethinglikeaman’shandwouldstranglemebychoking。Idon’tknowwhethertherewereanyonearoundornearmeornot。IthoughtIshouldsurelydieifIdidnotgethelp,butjustasoftenasIwouldpray,thatunseenhandwasfeltonmythroatandmybreathsqueezedoff。Finallysomethingsaid:’Ventureontheatonement,foryouwilldieanywayifyoudon’t。’SoImadeonefinalstruggletocallonGodformercy,withthesamechokingandstrangling,determinedtofinishthesentenceofprayerforMercy,ifIdidstrangleanddie,andthelastIrememberthattimewasfallingbackonthegroundwiththesameunseenhandonmythroat。Idon’tknowhowlongIlaythereorwhatwasgoingon。Noneofmyfolkswerepresent。WhenIcametomyself,therewereacrowdaroundmepraisingGod。Theveryheavensseemedtoopenandpourdownraysoflightandglory。Notforamomentonly,butalldayandnight,floodsoflightandgloryseemedtopourthroughmysoul,andoh,howIwaschanged,andeverythingbecamenew。Myhorsesandhogsandeveneverybodyseemedchanged。”
Thisman’scaseintroducesthefeatureofautomatisms,whichinsuggestiblesubjectshavebeensostartlingafeatureatrevivalssince,inEdwards’s,Wesley’sandWhitfield’stime,thesebecamearegularmeansofgospel-propagation。Theywereatfirstsupposedtobesemi-miraculousproofsof“power“onthepartoftheHolyGhost;butgreatdivergenceofopinionquicklyaroseconcerningthem。Edwards,inhisThoughtsontheRevivalofReligioninNewEngland,hastodefendthemagainsttheircritics;andtheirvaluehaslongbeenmatterofdebateevenwithintherevivalisticdenominations。[138]Theyundoubtedlyhavenoessentialspiritualsignificance,andalthoughtheirpresencemakeshisconversionmorememorabletotheconvert,ithasneverbeenprovedthatconvertswhoshowthemaremoreperseveringorfertileingoodfruitsthanthosewhosechangeofhearthashadlessviolentaccompaniments。Onthewhole,unconsciousness,convulsions,visions,involuntaryvocalutterances,andsuffocation,mustbesimplyascribedtothesubject’shavingalargesubliminalregion,involvingnervousinstability。Thisisoftenthesubject’sownviewofthematterafterwards。OneofStarbuck’scorrespondentswrites,forinstance:——
[138]ConsultWilliamB。Sprague:LecturesonRevivalsofReligion,NewYork,1832,inthelongAppendixtowhichtheopinionsofalargenumberofministersaregiven。
“Ihavebeenthroughtheexperiencewhichisknownasconversion。
Myexplanationofitisthis:thesubjectworkshisemotionsuptothebreakingpoint,atthesametimeresistingtheirphysicalmanifestations,suchasquickenedpulse,etc。,andthensuddenlyletsthemhavetheirfullswayoverhisbody。Thereliefissomethingwonderful,andthepleasurableeffectsoftheemotionsareexperiencedtothehighestdegree。”
Thereisoneformofsensoryautomatismwhichpossiblydeservesspecialnoticeonaccountofitsfrequency。Irefertohallucinatoryorpseudo-hallucinatoryluminousphenomena,photisms,tousethetermofthepsychologists。SaintPaul’sblindingheavenlyvisionseemstohavebeenaphenomenonofthissort;sodoesConstantine’scrossinthesky。ThelastcasebutonewhichIquotedmentionsfloodsoflightandglory。HenryAllinementionsalight,aboutwhoseexternalityheseemsuncertain。ColonelGardinerseesablazinglight。PresidentFinneywrites:——
“AllatoncethegloryofGodshoneuponandroundaboutmeinamanneralmostmarvelous……Alightperfectlyineffableshoneinmysoul,thatalmostprostratedmeontheground……Thislightseemedlikethebrightnessofthesunineverydirection。
Itwastoointensefortheeyes……IthinkIknewsomethingthen,byactualexperience,ofthatlightthatprostratedPaulonthewaytoDamascus。ItwassurelyalightsuchasIcouldnothaveenduredlong。”[139]
[139]Memoirs,p。34
Suchreportsofphotismsareindeedfarfromuncommon。HereisanotherfromStarbuck’scollection,wherethelightappearedevidentlyexternal:——
“Ihadattendedaseriesofrevivalservicesforabouttwoweeksoffandon。Hadbeeninvitedtothealtarseveraltimes,allthetimebecomingmoredeeplyimpressed,whenfinallyIdecidedI
mustdothis,orIshouldbelost。Realizationofconversionwasveryvivid,likeaton’sweightbeingliftedfrommyheart;astrangelightwhichseemedtolightupthewholeroomforitwasdark;aconscioussupremeblisswhichcausedmetorepeat’GlorytoGod’foralongtime。DecidedtobeGod’schildforlife,andtogiveupmypetambition,wealthandsocialposition。Myformerhabitsoflifehinderedmygrowthsomewhat,butIsetaboutovercomingthesesystematically,andinoneyearmywholenaturewaschanged,i。e。,myambitionswereofadifferentorder。”
HereisanotheroneofStarbuck’scases,involvingaluminouselement:——
“Ihadbeenclearlyconvertedtwenty-threeyearsbefore,orratherreclaimed。Myexperienceinregenerationwasthenclearandspiritual,andIhadnotbackslidden。ButIexperiencedentiresanctificationonthe15thdayofMarch,1893,abouteleveno’clockinthemorning。Theparticularaccompanimentsoftheexperiencewereentirelyunexpected。IwasquietlysittingathomesingingselectionsoutofPentecostalHymns。Suddenlythereseemedtobeasomethingsweepingintomeandinflatingmyentirebeing——suchasensationasIhadneverexperiencedbefore。
Whenthisexperiencecame,Iseemedtobeconductedaroundalarge,capacious,well-lightedroom。AsIwalkedwithmyinvisibleconductorandlookedaround,aclearthoughtwascoinedinmymind,’Theyarenothere,theyaregone。’Assoonasthethoughtwasdefinitelyformedinmymind,thoughnowordwasspoken,theHolySpiritimpressedmethatIwassurveyingmyownsoul。Then,forthefirsttimeinallmylife,didIknowthatIwascleansedfromallsin,andfilledwiththefullnessofGod。”
LeubaquotesthecaseofaMr。Peek,wheretheluminousaffectionremindsoneofthechromatichallucinationsproducedbytheintoxicantcactusbudscalledmescalbytheMexicans:——
“WhenIwentinthemorningintothefieldstowork,thegloryofGodappearedinallhisvisiblecreation。Iwellrememberwereapedoats,andhoweverystrawandheadoftheoatsseemed,asitwere,arrayedinakindofrainbowglory,ortoglow,ifImaysoexpressit,inthegloryofGod。”[140]
[140]Thesereportsofsensorialphotismshadeoffintowhatareevidentlyonlymetaphoricalaccountsofthesenseofnewspiritualillumination,as,forinstance,inBrainerd’sstatement:“AsIwaswalkinginathickgrove,unspeakablegloryseemedtoopentotheapprehensionofmysoul。Idonotmeananyexternalbrightness,forIsawnosuchthing,noranyimaginationofabodyoflightinthethirdheavens,oranythingofthatnature,butitwasanewinwardapprehensionorviewthatIhadofGod。”
InacaselikethisnextonefromStarbuck’smanuscriptcollectionthelightingupofthedarknessisprobablyalsometaphorical:——
“OneSundaynight,IresolvedthatwhenIgothometotheranchwhereIwasworking,IwouldoffermyselfwithmyfacultiesandalltoGodtobeusedonlybyandforhim……Itwasrainingandtheroadsweremuddy;butthisdesiregrewsostrongthatI
kneeleddownbythesideoftheroadandtoldGodallaboutit,intendingthentogetupandgoon。Suchathingasanyspecialanswertomyprayerneverenteredmymind,havingbeenconvertedbyfaith,butstillbeingmostundoubtedlysaved。Well,whileI
waspraying,IrememberholdingoutmyhandstoGodandtellinghimtheyshouldworkforhim,myfeetwalkforhim,mytonguespeakforhim,etc。,etc。,ifhewouldonlyusemeashisinstrumentandgivemeasatisfyingexperience——whensuddenlythedarknessofthenightseemedlitup——Ifelt,realized,knew,thatGodheardandansweredmyprayer。Deephappinesscameoverme;I
feltIwasacceptedintotheinnercircleofGod’slovedones。”
Inthefollowingcasealsotheflashoflightismetaphorical:——
“Aprayermeetinghadbeencalledforatcloseofeveningservice。Theministersupposedmeimpressedbyhisdiscourseamistake——hewasdull。Hecameand,placinghishanduponmyshoulder,said:’DoyounotwanttogiveyourhearttoGod?’I